142. New Year - New Questions

Foreign. Welcome back to Leadership in a Nutshell. I'm your host, Kenny Chapman. I'm so pumped to have you back on the show. I just, I'm so grateful to, to play this game of life full out with you, to be able to hop in once a week and just share some thoughts. And this, this podcast 142 now, first one of 2023 entitled New Year, new questions. And today I, I want to just share five questions that I think about. So last week we kind of talked about a little bit of setup for success where we do a little bit of looking forward by reflecting backward, right? I'm not big on reliving the past. I'm big on mining and learning and then letting go. When it's over, let it be over. And that's what happened 2022. It is over, my friend. So we want to mine the gold from there and put it in our pack and carry it into 2023. I've said for years, and I want you to just remember and feel this in your heart of hearts. If you want better results in your life, you have got to ask better questions, period. If there's one skill that I've been blessed with learning over my time on the planet, it is that exactly right there. When I ask better questions, I get better results. The ego fears questions sometimes because it can expose the truth. And, and what we know is all progress begins with telling the truth. And so when we ask questions, we've got to be willing to answer them truthfully. And the ego wants to play in the mind and try to keep things at this contemplative, comparative level of the mind and like, well, it wasn't that bad or the, you know, subconscious mind justifies and minimizes and these different things. And these are, look, the ego has its purpose and the subconscious mind has its purpose. And both of them are brilliant in their own way. We just want to program them to operate effectively for us. So as we look at 2023 and we want to have our best year ever, which I would expect that's what you want to do or you wouldn't be continuing to feed yourself positive information like leadership in a nutshell, then we've got to look at the questions that we're asking. Most people have conditioning to complain. Most people have a. And a method of operation that revolves around drama. It perpetuates pain. I recently saw, I'm pretty much off social media, but periodically I'll jump on there and just take a quick look sometimes out of previous condition, habit by the Way I feel a lot better not being on social media much. Just a little sidebar, however, I saw a friend of a friend. You know how that stuff works where they, you know, they friended me. I accepted it years ago, whatever it is. And I saw this person that said she has a newer job and she doesn't have friends at the office. And she said, I really miss my friends at the office. She said, I get a lot more done probably because I have less distractions, but I miss my friends because we used to complain together, we used to share misery together. Like literally posting this on a social media platform, like, I miss my buddies that I complain with. And it just hits me. It's like, are you kidding me? Like, this is. And guess what? It's not just her. This is agreed, accepted social consciousness. This is the collective agreement. And so when we look at our leadership ability and the fact that we are influencers of humanity, not the social media type and influencer where give me a product and I'm going to tell you what it's going to do for you. That's not what I'm talking about. What I'm talking about is give me your attention and let me help improve your life. And in order to do that, we've got to ask good questions. So, you know, if I'm asking the question, oh, where are my buddies at? Because I don't get to complain as much, then I'm going to get a specific answer if I'm asking a question of I wonder what it is that I miss about my friends at the office. Because we used to really just complain a lot. We didn't really solve a lot of problems. We didn't really advance our consciousness, we didn't really move things forward in a productive way. But God, it was fun to just bitch about our boss together, wasn't it? So when I asked those questions, I expose some truth. And that's what I want to help you do here today. So let's get right to it. Five questions that I like, I use, I have clients use, I use in my authentic life architecture architecture group with the host of clients that I have that I help in there. So here we go. Number one, what are you willing to give up in order to be who you want to be? What are you willing to give up? So that's one of the challenges is I want transformation, Kenny. I want to be different Kenny. I want, you know, for me, I want the new version of Kenny. I want the elevated version. I want the next level, I want the next five Feelings, emotions, you know, support. I want all those things. But guess what? I have to give up familiarity. I have to give up the comfort zone. I have to give up who I am right now in this moment. If I want to become something different, if I want to have better results, if I want to have more peace, more love, more joy, more sanity, if I want my team to rally around me, if I want my team to follow me, if I want authenticity to roll through my organization, I got to let go of some things that I am holding onto right now. So it's very important as you right here we are. Happy New Year, by the way. It is 2023. You made it. You have arrived. And if you're a drinker, hopefully by now it's a few days in and your hangover is gone. So we'll take that and roll forward and think about, okay, so what am I willing to give up in order to be who I want to be? That's your first question. Now let's move on. Number two, what would your future self do if he or she was in your shoes right now? So that's where we start working with our psychological work and think about, okay, if I fast forward and think about my future self, who is, does, has. Has become who I'm looking to be, striving to be, elevating myself, whatever that looks like, what would that future self tell me to do right now? Would it say, play it safe? Would it say, keep doing what you're doing? Would it say, actually, things are going really well and you just need to learn how to accept success? Would it say, you know who you need to replace on the team? Would it say, you know who you need to invest in in the team? Would it say, you know where you need to invest in your own training, your own coaching, where you need to expose your team to more training, coaching, whatever that is. What would your future self tell you today? That future self that has it figured out, that knows what you want to know already. That's one of the gifts about life, is we don't know what we don't know. And that's the cool thing about the evolution of the human experience is I get to go learn it, I get to go find out, I get to go have experiences, I get to go make mistakes, I get to stub my toe, I get to stumble, I get to fall down. All those things from the time that, that we became children and like, it's just this learning experience. But your future self knows. What would that future self tell you to do today? Answer that question. Third big one. What story will you stop telling yourself this year? There's a biggie, right? We all perpetuate these stories. We're in love with our stories. We have identity tied to our stories. Oh, man. I just. It's so hard. It's going to be a tough year. There's a recession. Inflation's high. Interest is up. Selling is more difficult. Getting people is harder. People don't want to work. What stories are you willing to let go of in 2023? These stories show up in different ways. They show up in limiting beliefs. They show up in. In continuing narratives. They show up in what I consider sanity within myself. When I have a program running. At the time I'm recording this just a few days back, I had a business thing that came up, and it was an opportunity, and I wasn't sure, and I didn't know what the direction that I wanted to pursue or think about. So I told the lovely Christy, we're in the middle of packing and moving. And I said, look, babe, I've got to go, right? I've got to go get out of my head and into my greatness, as the great Les Brown taught me. And I said, I just. I know we've got stuff to do. I know I need to be running to storage. I know I need to run some stuff to the condo. I know I need to help you pack, but I have got to go, right, and get this out of my head so I can stop running that program over and over. Well, what about this? What about this? What about that? What if this happens? What if this doesn't happen? What if I make this move? What if I don't make this move? Can you relate? I think you can, or you wouldn't be enjoying this podcast and sharing some time with me. So what it comes down to is that story, that narrative. I used to think that I could never create any wealth. I used to think that I couldn't influence people that had bigger businesses than me. I used to think that I couldn't share my truth. I used to think that I couldn't get sober. I used to think that I couldn't live a life of bliss and fulfillment and joy. And I'm still working on all those things. Not sobriety. I am recovered. And I will say that I don't have to say I. I'm still an alcoholic, because I'm not. I'm not flying in the face of 12 Step or any of that type of stuff. I just. I've done the work I've been born again on this planet as a new human being. I don't know that person any longer. Love that person, don't know that person. How about you for 22? What are some things that you knew that person, but that's not who you are now in 23, as you move forward, what story are you willing to finally let go, finally give up in 2023? Next. Do you know what it feels like to truly be happy? Do you know what happiness is? Do you know what it feels like? This is a thing and I'm sharing openly and honestly with you. This is one that I, I've worked through where, you know, I, I used to like, like, you know, there I'm tying to sobriety again. But it's a, it's a. One of the biggest things that ever changed my life for the better. I had built businesses, I was a millionaire, I had freedom, blah, blah, blah. But I wasn't happy. And so then I thought, okay, as soon as I get sober, then I'm going to be happy. And trust me, it's the number one thing I've ever done for getting happy. However, once you do something and once you have a new familiarity, the ego wants what's next or what's more, this and that. So finally I was like, do I even know what it's like to be happy? Do I know what it feels like to actually lean into my own emotional freedom, into my own bliss, into my own peace, my joy, you know, my. Because I think happiness, happiness is internal and then joy is all encompassing. So I want, I've got to be happy first. I've got to be happy in order to spread joy. If I'm not happy in my business as a leader, then how is anybody on my team going to find joy? How are they going to find any happiness through their work, through the tasks they do? There's always things that we don't want to do that we have to do in the business realm, right? Or in the life realm in general. However, if I find happiness myself, then I can perpetuate joy into the world. So if I don't know what it looks like, if I don't know how to define it, then how am I going to know when I get there? We know we have to measure to improve in business. The same is true in your life. So just check yourself. Do you even know what it feels like? And if you can answer honestly and say no, I'm not sure that I do. Then go to the next question. What if you did know what would it feel like? I learned that from Tony Robbins. Gosh, I think it was either in personal power or Awaken the Giant within way, way back, probably in the late 90s. I love that question. When I don't know the answer, it's just asked a little differently. And I don't know if that's a Tony thing or if he just wrote about it in his book, but it was, you know, if you did know. I use it with clients all the time. I don't know, Kenny. I don't know. I don't know what to do. Okay, cool. I'll give you that. I understand you don't know, but if you did know, what would you do? If you did know what it's like to be happy, what would that look like? What would that feel like? How would that show up in your life and allow that to resonate? And then last and certainly not least, from my incredible mentor, Dan Sullivan. He asked the R Factor question is what he calls it. And that question goes like this. And I want to ask you today if I was to meet you a year from now, today. So depending on when you listen to this, this is January 3rd is when this podcast, if you're listening on day one, it's January 3rd, 2023. If I came back January 3rd, 2024, and said, listener, my friend, what has to happen in the next year, both personally and professionally, in order for you to feel great about the progress you've made this year? What is it? What has to happen? So think about that. Just in a one year framework for all of 2023, if we got back together and I was able to ask you one on one, hey, how'd the year go? What would have had to happen personally and professionally for you, not me, for you to feel great about the progress that you made this year? Think about those questions, ask yourself those questions. Make sure that you just take the time, go get, take these, journal them. I'll put them in show notes and just start writing. Don't overthink. Sometimes I'll go back and reread my journal. Sometimes I read it to Christy. I've read it in my Authentic Life Art Architecture group. Just a small group of guys that, that, that we share openly and very deep with. And I've read journal in there. And I'll always preface, anytime I read my journal, I say, look, I don't know what I wrote because I just sit down and I channel. I just sit down. I let the divine flow through me of what my truth is. So here we go again. Five Questions. What are you willing to give up in order to be who you want to be? What would your future self do if he or she was in your shoes right now, today? What story will you finally stop telling yourself this year? Do you know what it means to feel happy? Do you know what it feels like to be happy within? What does that look like? And last but not least, we just talked about it. If we were to get together a year from today, what would have to happen have had happen personally and professionally in order for you to feel good about your progress? It's 23, my friend. It is your time like never before. You have more tools, you have more resources, you have more capability. I hope you have more confidence. That's what it's all about. You've got to commit. Remember, 100% commitment is way easier than 98% commit. Answer these questions now and get committed to 2023 being your best year ever. Episode 142 New Year New Questions Go. Rock it, my friend. Please Share this episode Give us a rating. Give us a review. Email this episode to somebody that you think could use it. I love hearing. I love growing our community and until we talk, make it a better than fantastic week. I'll see you next time. Thank you.