151. Get OVER it!

Foreign. Hey, my friend. Welcome back to leadership in a nutshell. I'm your host, Kenny Chapman. I'm super pumped to have you with me. I. I just. I. I love and look forward to just spending a few minutes with you every week, downloading my brain into your brain. It's like plugging in a Tesla or something. And don't worry, I'll. I'll try not to give you all this crazy that's in here, but I just want to show you, share something each and every week to help you kind of ground yourself, get back to center, get connected at a little bit deeper level. This is episode 151. We broke the 150 mark. Episode 151. I'm entitling this get over it, and let's put over it in all caps. Because, you know, I. I think that there are so many things that we're over the top with right now and in our belief system, in our society and what we're doing in life and the different things. And sometimes you got to take a step back and go, man, it's time to get over it. And sometimes it's. It's time to take that step back. It reminds me when. When I was. I had the great opportunity of traveling with the incredible Les Brown. And I've talked about that on here multiple times. It just was so impactful in my life to get to. To. To travel with Les and share the stage with Les, and. And he had a part of one of his kind of, what do you want to say? Like, signature keynotes where he talked about the I've had it moment, where you reach that point. Even Joseph Campbell talks about it in the Hero's Journey, you know, where it's kind of different. Movie scripts have the point of no return, different things like this. But Les would talk about the I've had it moment, where you just wake up one day or you hit the wall and you just go, I've had it. I've had it with where I'm at today. I want you to take that and kind of think about that and leverage that into get over it. And when I say that, I want you to think about my framing here, because I'm framing it in a loving way. But sometimes it's get over it because it's simply not that big of a deal. Or it's get over it because you're sabotaging yourself. You're creating some of your own suffering. You're not allowing your life, your business, your relationships, your finances to move forward because of previous conditioning that you haven't reprogrammed in the subconscious brain. The subconscious runs our lives. And if we don't take time and energy and effort and reprogram and practice and learn and reprogram and practice and learn, then we're going to keep getting the same results. And we don't want the same results if we want to have a different result. Right? It's great if things are working cool, but if they're not, then you know, where, where am I talking about getting over it? You know, sometimes we are over in like over all kinds of areas. We are over stimulated as a, as a society. Right. Because the first thing most people do when they wake up in the morning is grab their phone and they look at email and text threads and social media and giving away complete personal power because you're overstimulated. And I say this in a loving way. I continue to work on all the things I share and talk with you about here today. I'm either working on, I'm working with clients, I observe in life itself, whatever that looks like. And I see in society we are overstimulated. It's one of the reasons that I've, I've cut back my own social media to virtually nothing. I don't post anything ever anymore. And I was like the king of social media for home services for quite some time and I, I was always on, I had Freedom Friday, focus, all those, I reserve that energy for my members now and, and I, and I share that with, with them in our, you know, in our weekly or bi weekly sessions and different things with clients. But I'm not overstimulating myself with external things as much. But as I say that I just recently restructured my email agreement with myself and my team and so understand I say with myself and my team because I don't check email as much as I did. I was becoming overstimulated by email. Email is simply a form of someone else's to do list for you. It's an opportunity for other people to rank important things for you in the order or sometimes not so important, but they come in in a specific way, shape or form. And so I just decided I wanted to change that for me. So many of us were overstimulated. We are over committed. Think about that when you know how many people are just over committed. Oh yeah, I'm going to do this and I'm going to do that and I've got this project and I'm going to make this happen and oh that then I'm going to have the family time and oh, there's going to be a vacation. Oh, I'm going to go to the gym and oh, I'm going to start an exercise regime like wait a minute, most of us are over committed because we're addicted to activity, right? Because if I'm doing something then I must be honoring myself. I must be creating value, I must be making my life worthy. No, you're probably just creating activity in a lot of ways. I'm not saying that you're not doing things that aren't, you know, meaningful and create, create power in the world and value in the world. But most people are over committed because they're running late, they're stressed out. Just check yourself there. Maybe get over being stimulated. Maybe get over being over committed. How about significance? Some people are over concerned with significance. I've got another social media tie back. I'm not dogging it in any way. I'm telling you to use it as the tool that it can be for you rather than being so over concerned with what other people think about you, what the world is saying about you. I was recently watching an interview with a neuroscientist that studies the brain and she was talking about how we have this addiction with social media where I post something and I'm looking for the likes and I want all this thumbs up and how many people can mash the thumbs up button and that gives me this stimulus. And we've talked about it here before, about chemical brain or the chemicals that fire in the brain are similar to opioids and uppers and different things like that, that when I, oh man, I gotta like, hey, check it out. The challenge is if I'm over concerned with significance, meaning, oh look, people like me because of these things, then what happens is this neuroscientist was saying like as quickly as I got the excitement from the likes, that's how quick I can go into depression from the dislikes or even just the not likes or even Facebook changes the algorithm and all of a sudden my friends aren't seeing this cool stuff that I'm eating right that I post pictures of or whatever. And again, I say that jokingly. Yes, there's a time for us to try to connect on social media. Yes, there's a time to, you know, go, go and learn and learn about yourself and learn about others. Just be careful that you're not over concerned with significance. What is my title? What is my role? What is my, you know, my status, if you will. Those are all tied to Ego, and that's a dangerous place to be. And you know, the last thing I'll say here around ego is overs. And then I'll give you a couple questions to ask yourself this week. Are you over connected? Many people are over connected with the ego and that ties to the significance because the ego seeks and desires, you know, being something important, being something different, being separate from other people, from other things. Better than right. When you know somebody's rooted in ego at a point when they ask you if you've heard about something. So, oh, hey, Kenny, have, have you. Did you hear about what happened to so and so? No, I didn't. Oh my gosh, you didn't hear? Oh, did you hear what this politician said? No, I didn't. Oh, you didn't hear about that? Oh, did you hear what happened to mom's medical condition? Oh, you didn't hear? Oh, did you hear? So whatever those are, when you look at those different types of things, that's rooted in ego because the ego's trying to validate all the time. And so it's trying to create separation and significance and going, hey, look at me. And it shows up in the business world all the time. And you know, this is, this is. Our podcast is titled Leadership in a Nutshell for Home Service Professionals. And yeah, there's a chance I'll change the name of this thing because not that I don't want to help only home service professionals, this is who I am, it's what I resonate with. But I'm talking less and less about business on here, as you can tell. However, everything that we talk about is directly applicable to business. So where are you overstimulated in the business? Where you are, where are you over committing yourself in the business? Where are you over concerned with significance in the business? What people think? Do they know how busy I am? Do they know the projects I'm working on? Do they know all the value that I'm creating? And where are you over connected with your ego that ties to that. So all of these things I talk about life mastery, I talk about authenticity. These are direct correlations with your business. So if you're a leader or whatever level of team member you are, as you listen to this, you are a leader because you're leading in the world. Every action begets another reaction from another human, from energy speaking to energy. So I want you to just challenge yourself when it comes to getting over it. And what are some things maybe you need to get over? Maybe there's some things that are over, but Your ego's keeping alive. I'm still pissed off at that employee. I'm still mad at this team member. I'm still can't believe my boss wronged me. I can't believe this investor did this. What? Sometimes you need to get over it. And I'm saying that lovingly, but get over it, move on. Just get on with your life, learn what you can, and move on. So here's a couple questions for you. First off, how do I feel? Just ask yourself that if you're ready to get over something. How do I feel? How does this feel to me? And based on that, is this how I want to feel? How do I feel? Well, I'm going to get an answer. Is this how I want to feel? And most of the us, Canada and Australia, our biggest listeners to this podcast, are going to say, how do I feel? I feel amazing. I feel great. I feel stressed, I feel anxious, I feel concerned. I feel fear, whatever that is. Now the next question. Is this how I want to feel? Yeah. I want to feel amazing. Yeah. I want to feel authentic. Yeah. I want to feel excited, I want to feel energetic. But if I'm feeling anxiety, if I'm feeling fear, if I'm feeling regret, shame, any of those, no, that's not how I want to feel. Okay, good awareness. Now I've got it here in the mind, right? So then I go, okay, well, what will it take for me to feel differently? What would it take for me to feel differently? And I'm going to tell you, a lot of times it doesn't come just from the mind. You've got to take action to feel different. You've got to do something. A couple podcasts back, I talked about identity, action and feelings. And most people run their lives based on how they feel is what action they're going to take. And then that defines them in the world. Flip that upside down and go, who am I in the world? How do I show up? What do I mean? What do I want to mean? How does this show up for me and my identity? Based on that, I'm going to take certain actions whether I feel like it or not. Taking those actions will lead to a feeling. So when I ask myself, how do I feel? I feel like I've got a lot on my plate today. Okay. Is that how I want to feel? No. I'd like to have a little bit more of a manageable schedule. Okay. I might not be able to change that today because I'm already in the midst of being over committed to these things. But I don't have to recreate the insanity. I don't have to get up and do it again next week, next month, next year. I get to use this awareness and go, is this how I want to feel? What? What would it take to change it? Usually it means I need to take some different actions, whether I feel like it or not. My friend. Episode 151 get over it. And I say it loving, with compassion and empathy. But if it's over, let it be over. See how you want to feel. Continue to take action, moving your life forward with ease and joy. I'm your host, Kenny Chapman. Until we talk, make it a better than fantastic week. I'll see you next time. Thank you.