171. Work-Life Harmony

Foreign. Hey, my friend. Welcome back to leadership in a nutshell. I'm your host, Kenny Chapman, and I'm just. I'm just honored. I just. I feel so grateful for you being with me here today. I know that investing your time is such a critical asset that you have, and the fact that you're willing to spend 10, 15 minutes today with me just, just warms my heart. So I want to thank you. Just, I mean, thank you, thank you, thank you for, for allowing me to. To come inside your world and share a little bit of this with you. So today's episode 171, and I want to talk to you about work life harmony. Now, there's all kinds of, you know, different, whatever, blogs, podcasts, magazine articles, experts, TED talks, like, speeches, probably workshops, like, you can do anything and go anywhere and find people talking about work life harm or work life balance. I'm not talking about work life balance. Today I want to talk to you about work life harmony. And those are different things, because if I'm looking at balance, then I'm looking for equality, right? If I'm looking at, well, everything is going to be balanced and I'm going to have, you know, this many parts of, you know, this, this amount of time or energy spent on this. This amount of time of energy spent on this. This amount of time or energy spent on this. And. And yet, you know, when the lovely Christy and I ate salads for lunch today and we had some mixed greens. Okay. Well, there's different amounts of the different types. I don't know what it is a four or five green blend that we get from a local, like, you know, fresh green kind of thing from the farm that they throw a bunch of different ones in a bag so we don't have to buy five different bags. Right. It's one of those things. So there's a different mix of the types of greens. We put in some quinoa. We had some leftover quinoa. I like making a big instant pot thing of quinoa. Okay, let's throw some quinoa in there. Okay, cool. What else? We had some tomatoes. We had some cucumber. We had some what? I don't know. There's some fairy dust stuff that she puts on hemp hearts. That's what it is. She threw some hemp hearts in there. She threw some sunflower seeds in there and these different things. And then we threw a little dressing on it, little vegan ranch dressing that she gets. And my gosh, it was bomb. I'm getting hungry. It's only mid afternoon right now for me when I'm recording this with you, but I'm getting hungry again because that was such a good salad. Literally, my mouth is starting to water right now. I'm not even hungry. What the heck? Shows the power of the brain, right? But. But what? I want you to realize that salad was nowhere near being in balance, but damn, was it in harmony. The way the ingredients played together, the different amounts of greens compared to the different amounts of quinoa, compared to the different amounts of tomatoes and cucumbers. And so I want you to just, you know, think about this. And I had no idea I was going to use that analogy with you. I knew the direction I was going to go. And I've got three main things I want to talk to you about with work, life, harmony. But that salad just popped in my mind because I went, you know, it wasn't imbalance at all, but it was perfectly harmonious. And I think that's one of the challenges. The brain is a meaning making machine. You hear me say that a lot. And it's making meaning all the time. And for me, my brain makes meaning out of certain things. And if it can't find a meaning that makes sense to it, then it dismisses it. Okay, let me say that again for me, I don't know about you, but I study the human brain a lot and you've got one. But for me, we'll just stay on me right now. If I, my brain finds meaning that I don't like or doesn't make sense to me, then I kind of throw it out. Case in point, many of you have read the book the Millionaire Next Door. I read that book as a young entrepreneur. My uncle gave it to me, who was very conservative in his investing, and he became a very wealthy man and all these different types of things. Okay, that's great. Drive a 1982 Cadillac and you know, live in a, in a not, you know, not a, not nice, but a, A very simple home in suburbia and this and that. Whatever. And don't stand out and don't be too flashy and, and you know, make a whole bunch of, of money behind the scenes and you know you're gonna die rich. Okay, cool. And so, you know, it's like, I get the concept, I still get the concept, and it makes sense to me. And it probably makes more sense to me now in my 50s than it did in my 20s. But the reality is I want to drive a nice car, I want to live in a nice home. I Want to live in a nice neighborhood? I want to. To where I don't have it on today. I'm wearing my. My iWatch today or Apple watch. I always wonder why they didn't call it an iWatch. But anyway, I'm wearing my Apple watch today. But I've got a Le or Alexis. I've got my. Yeah, okay, Christie drives Alexis. I got caught. But. And it's status. It's about, I just want to have nice things. We drive one of the least expensive Lexuses. It's just what she wanted and that's what we got her. And. And you know, I've got a Rolex that I only own one and I bought it when I turned 40, is my 40th birthday. I've had it 12, 13 years, almost 13 years now. I don't know that I'll ever have another one. But that was a goal that I had as a young entrepreneur. Blah, blah, blah. My point is that there's balance to certain things and then there's harmony. And so for me, the millionaire next door concept, I got it. But my young brain kind of kicked it out because it didn't have the meaning I was looking for. So what that meant to me is over the course of the years, I've blown some dough, my friend. I had two bus pusher motorhomes at the same time because I'll buy this one on such a great deal, I'll turn around and sell the other one and the market crashes and I've burned through tons of cash in my life. I'm not regretting it. I've had life experiences. I wouldn't trade for anything. But let's just say I could have been fiscally more responsible. Okay, let's say that. But I wouldn't trade it because I didn't have the meaning there. And so my point is, now that I've had those experiences and I just do the things to have the life experiences that. That develop the outcome that I want that works towards my goals. That's my algorithm for life. Now. I invest in people and I invest in experiences and hopefully those drive to the outcomes I desire, which ultimately accomplish the goals that I set out to accomplish. And that allows me to shift and change and do different things based on the direction of my life and where I'm at and what feels right at the time and so on and so forth. Not saying don't have a vision. I'm not saying don't set goals. I'm not saying don't work your ass off. I'm not saying take a ton of time off or don't take a ton of time off. Like all of these different types of things. I'm looking for harmony. My harmony is my harmony. Your harmony is your harmony. But we could say that balance is all the same and that's what I want to challenge. And so the reason I use the millionaire next door as an example is my mind, my young mind kicked that out and said that doesn't have meaning for me. Well, for me the same thing happens when people talk about work life balance. That, that doesn't have meaning for me. Meaning that there are times when if I'm building, if I'm writing a book, if I'm building a program, if I'm preparing for blue collar's acceleration days workshop, if different, I am completely out of balance from a work life balance. I'm working way more than I quote should or that the balance meter says. But I'm in complete harmony. Why? Because when that project gets done, when that thing gets accomplished, when the book gets published, then I'm going to have a break and I might shift my pendulum way to the other side where I'm just going to do a few of my group coaching calls and I'm not going to build content for a while and I'm not going to get on a stage for a while and I'm completely out, out of balance with my personal life and fulfillment and enjoyment compared to my work life and fulfillment enjoyment go, oh my God. That's not balance, but it's harmony. And that's what I want you to start thinking about. And it's not about hours logged. I know people that are in perfect harmony working 60 hours a week and you might go, Kenny, I work 80. Okay, well then I challenge that because it's probably not harmonious to your personal life, to your family life, to your parental life, to the, you know, whatever the responsibilities are that might have. But today I want you to think about three things when it comes to work life harmony, importance, challenges and strategies. So the first thing I want is importance. It's, it's crucial. Like if you're taking any notes, write that down. It is critically important to your well being that, that you, that you make it important to have some harmony around you know what you do. And I, and I think the key is what, when you understand the scope of what you do and as a leader you're improving people's lives or well or you're wrecking them like I used to when I was a young entrepreneur sometimes. But I never intentionally hurt anybody. I just had behavior and programming that wasn't always the most productive. Right. But the importance is, like, you have an opportunity to really make a positive impact in the lives of others and grow them and help them become more and help them learn and help them elevate their own awareness and the different types of things that they do. And that's really, really cool. And so I want you to think about that. But it's important that you up level this Harmony because it affects everything from your overall job performance to your wellbeing to your mental health to your physical health. All of these things are tied to what this looks like. Okay, so number one, it's super, super important. Then number two, I'm gonna give you this challenges. You know, what are the challenges to work, life, harmony. So we've decided it's important. Okay. We give each other that. Yes, it's important. Okay, I wanna do that. Great. Perfect. Now let's look at the challenges. Well, what are some challenges? How about 24. 7 connection? How about I'm conditioned or I've conditioned those around me that I'm going to be, you know, constantly available, that if you send me a text message within 30 seconds, I'm gonna text you back, or you think I've drove my car off a cliff. Like, you know, like when you think about these things, and these are true in family relationships, these are true in business relationships and different things. And now I get it. Some occupations are more prone to this than others. And in the trades, yeah, service managers, you know, there's a lot there because sometimes you're required to be on after service technicians, you might, you know, in salespeople, you might be running calls in the evening time. I'm not saying don't go do those things. I'm saying be mindful of those things and then shut it down when it's time to be over. Let's say you're a manager on call or you're a smaller business and you're on call all the time. Myself, when I, when I started, I was on call 247 for over two and a half years or so. And it's like that. That's just it. If I was going to take a break, I turned the pager off. Yep. I said pager on the podcast. Right. Some of you know, I'll date myself. And that's all good. But. But in reality, you know, I'd call the answering service and say, hold the calls. Like that. That was, that was it. If that was the only way I was going to get a break and I wasn't super skilled at it. So then I developed other behaviors that weren't very supportive to try to help me deal with it, to try to help me rec and all those different types of things. I'm asking you to get aware. A couple weeks ago we talked about emotional intelligence and emotional regulation and number one was awareness. When we get aware of how we're feeling. Because last week when we talked about anxiety, this is a big part of it. I'm looking for harmony. And then I know like if I'm, if I'm busting my tail and I've got a big project or I've got things going on, okay, I've got to find some harmony. I've got to go take a walk. I've got to shift gears before I get home. I've got to go to the gym. Not for my physical being but for my mental well being, whatever that looks like. So discuss what these impacts are with your team. Like, okay, I know I've got challenges. I'm looking to up level my work life, harmony and I've got these different things going on. So I want to have a conversation about what this might look like. Do that. And depending on where you are on the org chart as a leader or what you do for an occupation, yes, the actual task list is going to influence it. But don't kid yourself that you can't improve it. All we're looking for is progress, not perfection. So if we can go a little bit in the, you give me a head nod for this. Can we go, can we agree to go a little bit in the right direction to find a little more harmony than I had last week, than I had last month, than I had in the last year. Because I'm going to do this for a long time. I love what I, you know, if you're, if you're doing something that you love, you're going to keep doing it. Don't destroy yourself with telling yourself or buying. You know the whole reason I wrote blue collar success laws, because I'm fed up with the broken model. In my opinion, my perspective, it's mine and I get to have mine. You work your ass off, you never see your family, you don't get to be with your kids. You don't like and you stress out and you drink too much and you smoke too much because you're a driven entrepreneur. You're a driven minded leader. No, that's why I wrote blue collar success laws. And so I encourage you to take A step back and really look at what can you do to just find a little more harmony. That is the challenge. Okay, so number one, we look at the importance. Number two, we look at the challenge. And number three, we want to unpack the strategies. So now once I know, okay, this is where it's going to be a little bit challenging. Cool. Now we lean into. What are some strategies that I could. I could look at? Well, you know, we talk about the infamous, what some people call time management. I'll call it behavior management, as I always do. But maybe I could batch my schedule a little bit. Maybe I could block some time, you know, maybe I could set some boundaries. Maybe. Let's see. What about social media? When I think about harmony, is there work life harmony? When it comes to being addicted to social media, are there distractions that I'm utilizing? What about the I've got to do it or it's not going to be right? Part of you as a leader. Oh, work life harmony, Kenny, I can't do that because my people just don't do it the right way. People don't do it the right way or they don't do it your way. Right. We can get to Delegation 101 and talk about those things. So I just want you to take a step back and realize like you are in more control of your harmony with work life than you might think. Not work life balance, but work life harmony. And when you really start up leveling and one of the things that I would encourage you to do is, is up level your self care. And self care has kind of become a buzzword too. But I know for myself when I changed my life and I became born again on this planet as we stand here today, not from a religious standpoint, but from I completely changed my life. I rewired my subconscious mind. I rewired my unconscious brain. I look a little bit physically the same, but heck, I don't even look physically the same. I've got a different haircut, I've lost weight, I feel better, I have different energy. Everything is different about me. That's why I say I was reborn on this planet with an opportunity to change my life because I made self care my number one priority. There's not a day that goes by that I don't wake up, that I don't have some sort of some form of meditation, some form of journal practice, some form of positive mental digestion of food, meaning that I learned something, I read something, I watch something that's productive, that I move my body physically and that I set a positive, powerful intention to future pace what my life is going to look like for that day. That's what I do in my life improved dramatically. And that's what I'm here to do, is help you, help serve you. And just take 10, 15 minutes. We might have run a couple minutes over 15 today. I just want you to feel better at the end of these podcasts than when we began. And not just feel better, but have a couple things to think about, a couple things to put back in that subconscious folder of your brain that remembers everything you ever saw, everything you ever thought, everything you ever experienced. And today we're looking at, wait a minute, maybe my brain just won't kick out for me. Work life balance. What is that? My brain just kicks it out for me. Oh, you know, like, I drive an old piece of crap car so you can say you're rich. Like, no, I just kick that out. Like, what works for you with work life harmony. It's your life. It's your game. You get to create the rules. Create one that you can win. Thank you so much for being here. Do me a favor. Kick this to somebody that you care about, somebody that could use a little work life harmony in their lives. And until we talk next week, make it a better than fantastic week. I appreciate you. Thank you so much for being here.