24. Leadership: Three Part Simple Change Formula

Foreign. Welcome back to Leadership in a Nutshell. I'm your host, Kenny Chapman. I'm super pumped to be here with you for episode number 24 of our podcast together. I want to honor your time. I want to thank you for taking a few minutes out of your day, out of your busyness, out of your schedule. There's so many things pulling at your time. I'm honored to be with you today. I want to talk to you about a three part series, simple change formula. I hear from my clients all the time. The people that I'm coaching personally, the clients that we have within the blue collar success group that I founded over a decade ago, the people I work with under the critical synergy brand of the Chapman companies, where we're doing everybody is all about change, right? And at the time I'm recording this, I just came back from four days on site with a client and went, you know what, I want to jump in. I want to solve something for you today. And everything's about formulas in life. If you're in business, it's about solving a math formula. If you're in a weight loss situation, it's about solving a math formula. If you're in a relationship situation that you want to improve, it's about solving a communication formula. And so, you know, which is funny coming from a guy like me that didn't do so hot in school, right? And here I'm here with you today to talk about formulas. But I want you to, to just kind of picture in your mind like the old, you know, picture if you were back in school and I'll date myself a little bit. We had chalkboards. And as I say that out loud, my skin moves a little bit and crawls a little bit. Why? Because you can hear that little squeak on the chalkboard drives me crazy. Fingernails on a chalkboard, right? And so what's funny is you can have different negative associations with different things. When I think about formula, my mind can jump to a negative. My mind can go, hang on, wait a minute, this isn't positive for me. This is negative. I see check marks, I see X's, I see lines, I see division signs, I see square roots. That's not what I'm talking about here today, my friend. I'm talking about you. I'm talking about your life situation. I'm talking about your finances, I'm talking about your relationships. I'm talking about you continuing to step into your greatest self. For you to continue to say yes to the person that you are becoming as well as the person that you can become. I just want you to have confidence in this process. And so there's all kinds of different, you know, change formulas. Yes, I just rewrote the Six Dimensions of Change 2.0 and I talk about the dimensions in that book today. I'm going to break it down and just give you three ways to completely change your mindset, to completely change how you go about things. See, what, what's fascinating about the subconscious, what's fascinating about lasting change is there's a small component that is a little bit like we've got to play a little trick on our mind in a way. And you know, I had, you know, I had fun as a kid. You probably enjoyed a little magic show here and there. Unless you're like the lovely Christy, magic makes her mad because she knows that there's a reason behind it. She has a mind that she wants to know what's behind it. You know, and so some of us are like, wait a minute, I know that didn't actually happen. What's the algorithm I need to solve for you? I want you to just think about when it's algorithm that you want to solve. How about it's getting the results that you want. How about it's becoming the person that you need to become in order to get the results that you want. So here's the three part process that I want you to think about today. It's not a secret. For most of us, we will do more to avoid pain than we will to gain pleasure. If you disagree with me on this, if you're challenged by that, I challenge you to look at your own life situation. Look at the times when you've actually made decisions, had defining moments, had situations come into and through your life that completely changed the game forever. I know I can go back all the way to, I mean, when my father decided to move back to California was a big situation. Thank God my mother had made the divorce as easy as possible on me. I was living with my father at the time. He had, you know, kind of showered me with gifts and different things. I had a new motorcycle, so I was living with him. And he up and moved to, to San Diego and I went, wait a minute, where does this leave me? All of a sudden the world dealt me change. And at 11, 12, 13 years old, however old I was when that happened, now I'm going to move back in with my mom and my sister and I want to stay in western Colorado, even though I was living with dad. And you know, that's, that's One of those things where as I look at that decision to move back in with mom and sis rather than follow my dad to California, number one, I believe it saved my life. Number two, it created all kinds of strategic byproducts. Number three, it created some challenge for me long term growing up in a small town and adopting some mindset that I needed to be challenged as I got older. So I want you to think about some of these things. Sometimes we'll do more to avoid pain, but what I know is that we seek pleasure, but sometimes we need to seek avoiding pain. I know when I was hit the jail cell when I was 19 years old and I went, I don't want this anymore. So wherever you are in your life, in your career as a leader, you're a leader in your family. Regardless of how big of a company that you run, manage or influence, you are an influencer in the world. So today is for you. Number one, you. You've got to identify the problem and sell the problem. Three things here. Number one, what is the problem? You would not be seeking a change if there wasn't a problem. Even if you believe in your mind that you are seeking pleasure, if you're going, you know what? This life situation, this relationship, my car isn't as good as I want, that's fine. You want the upgrade, you want things to improve. But really what's happening is you're going, there's a problem here. I don't want to stay here anymore. I don't want to live like this any longer. I don't want to wake up and worry about the old adage, is there going to be more month at the end of my money or money at the end of my month, Right? It's like, hang on, wait a minute. I'm tired of living like that. Les Brown taught me that. I'm tired of being tired. And when you do that, you'll finally go, there's a problem here and I want to change it. And so first we start with being honest. All progress begins with telling the truth. Stop using softeners. This isn't about kicking your own butt. Don't. This isn't about beating yourself up. This is about telling yourself the truth. This is about honoring your truth. This is about honoring your spirituality. It's about honoring your prayers to God. This is about honoring the universe, going, I want you to have something better, but you've got to step up and claim it. You've got to step up and say, yes, this is what I want. What's the problem? With my current situation, tell yourself the truth. For me, when I was 19, it's a problem who I'm hanging out with, the life that I'm kind of choosing, how I'm kind of following my dad's path down the biker lane, whatever. This is a problem. I had no idea that I would be so fortunate, so blessed in my life to have an opportunity to be with you here today. Zero. It never even registered. But I knew I had a problem that needed to be solved. Number one, what's the problem? Number two, my friend, what is the promise? See, now that we know, okay, I don't want that now, what is the promise? Sometimes the promise may just be, oh, a better situation, a better life, if you will, a better relationship, better finances, better health. I'm sick of getting to the top of the stairs. I used to smoke cigarettes. I was a two pack a day. Or when I was in the Gulf War back in the late late 80s, early 90s when I was overseas and I was like, ah, who knows? I'm 20, I'm not. Who knows if I'm even going to live through this thing. Smoke them, smoke them, smoke them under the guys that I'll just quit when I get back to the States. Was not easy for me to quit. What was one of the problems? When I got to the top of a flight of stairs, I couldn't breathe. I said, that's a problem. What's the promise going to be? I'm going to feel better, I'm going to have more energy. I'm not going to rely on something when I value freedom in my life, I'm not going to rely on something that as soon as I wake up, I've got to fire up a stogie or I've got to have it. Last thing that was a choice for me. That's the promise. There's a life that exists for me that can get better. The same is true for you. But when I've left challenging relationships in the past, I left a mediocre, I'll call it rough, frustrated, challenging, 10 year situation, 10 year life, marriage I was in. It was not a good situation for me, but it was better than a lot of people's. It was okay. It was, I don't do mediocre, my friends. So if I don't do mediocre, then I've got to go. There's a problem here. What's the promise? I had no clue. There was a lovely Christie out there for me but. But I had a promise to myself that there Was something better. Third thing, so we got the problem. Then we go, Promise. What's that promise going to look like? Then we go, what is the path? That's where God begins to reward your action. He gave you the opportunity to think for yourself, to have conscious choice, to be a free will thinker. Now you go, okay, here's the problem. I don't want this in my life anymore. Here's the promise. This is what I really think I can do. This is how I can show up. This is how I can play full out and step into my next level of greatness. That's the promise. Thirdly, what's going to be the path? What will it be for you there? Guess what? There are all kinds of ways for you to get what you want. There's all kinds of paths to financial independence, to economic freedom, to what I coach and talk more on now than anything else, emotional independence. See, we're taught from a young age we want to be financially free. You meet with your financial planner on an annual basis. They go, here's your financial plan. You're going to turn a certain age and you're going to be financially free. Who cares? I know plenty of multimillionaires that are not emotionally free. On paper, they're financially free, but they're not emotionally free. You're not seeking financial freedom. You're seeking emotional freedom. And that comes from that. I'm not saying don't go do it. Economic independence is an incredible thing. Don't get me wrong. However, don't kid yourself into thinking as soon as you have a certain number of dollars in the bank, emotionally you're going to be free. So you. So there's a lot of different paths that you can use to get to where you want to go. There. There was a lot of different paths that I could have chosen from the time I left a poor relationship to the time that I attracted the lovely Christie into my life. Which, by the way, she shut me down when I asked her out. It was three months later before I finally got made the biggest sale of my life, baby, and got her to go on a date with me, right? So as a salesperson, I'm proud of that one. By the way, it doesn't show up on sales quotas, but it shows up in my life experience. And one of the reasons I'm here with you today. So what is the path. What's the path going to be for your business? What's going to be the path for your family? The world completely threw us a curve ball totally Changed. All of a sudden, pandemic. All of a sudden, chaos going on in the world. What will be your path? You get to choose, my friend. It's up to you. But sometimes we get so confused, we get so overwhelmed. There's so many things pulling at your attention. Companies are spending billions and billions of dollars to get your attention, right? I was recently watching a documentary on Netflix talking about how everybody's looking to steal our attention. And this was said, if there is no product, guess what? You are the product. What does that mean? Oh, this is free. Watch this video for free. These things are free. What does that mean? Your attention is free. I do a lot of free webinars. We do a lot of free webinars through my team at blue collar. Guess what? They're not free because you're showing up. We're not asking for any dollars or cents. We're asking for your emotional commitment for you to show up. So you'll take some tools, tips, tricks, strategies to change your life forever. That's the key. But guess what? It's not free. We write free on the paper. But you know, it's an emotional connection. It's time out of your day. Nothing is free when it's like, well, wait a minute, maybe you're the product. Maybe, maybe Amazon is trying to get to you. Maybe Netflix is getting you. When the Weather Channel goes, hey, by the way, there's a storm coming and you don't live anywhere near storm country. They're vying for your attention so they can sell advertising on the back of that. That's a whole nother story. Here's the situation. You don't have enough time. That's a problem, right? What's the promise going to be? Some more freedom, some more opportunity for your self care. For you to take care of those around you, for you to love yourself and those closer to you to have the time back. Problem promise. What's the path going to be? That's where you get involved. Full out. You, you get to play full out, my friend. Utilize this three part formula for success, for changing what you want. And watch your life scale. If you're having a good time, please give me a rating. Give me a review. Give me the honest feedback I need to hear from you. Yes, I've got ego. Yes, I want to know if I'm doing a good job for you. Please give us a rating. Give us a review. And until we talk, my friends, make it a better than fantastic week. I'm your host, Kenny Chapman. This has been leadership in a nutshell. Talk to you soon.