26. Leadership: Pain Point - Discipline

Foreign Kenny Chapman here. Welcome back to episode number 26 of Leadership in a Nutshell. I'm super pumped to be with you here today, and I'm just honored that you're taking some time to check in and really check your own mindset here. We're working on helping people, you know, really just get some control of that driven mind. Right? We all have these driven minds that run around like crazy. And today I'm going to talk to you about a pain point, and that is death discipline. And oftentimes we need to upgrade, you know, up level your discipline. You need to do better. You know, for myself, I ended up needing to go into the United States army to improve my level of discipline because I was a punk kid and I needed to get my stuff together, as we might say. And, you know, there's all kinds of different conversation around pain points and why we make decisions. And I've dedicated my life to helping people improve behaviors, to change the game, to, you know, create the dream life, business relationships, finances, all those different types of things. And we were taught that we want to avoid pain. And if we spend a life avoiding pain, I've talked about it in previous episodes, but I just want you to realize I'm not going to say, hey, let's run out and find pain today, but I do want you to think about and realize that sometimes pain is there to serve a purpose. And what if we chose something that was actually painful in the beginning in order to really create the result that we want and change our lives for good in the long term? So I want you to just think about this now. One of greatest ever to walk the planet in personal development, as a speaker, as an author. As you know, I never got to personally meet him, but Jim Rohn is one of my favorites. I know many of you on the line are fans of Jim as well. And Jim once said there are two types of pain that you will go through in life. The pain of discipline and the pain of regret. Discipline weighs ounces while regret weighs tons. Let that land for a minute, my friends. Discipline weighs ounces while regret weighs tons. Now, I don't know about you, but I don't want you to carry around tons of weight on your back, in your head, in your body, in your mind. And yet when we look at, well, discipline is painful too. The amazing Jim is saying here, like, hey, it's going to be painful either way. Either you're going to implement some pain of discipline in order to really change the game and change what you're doing and Change behavior or you're going to end up with a pain of regret when you didn't take the action, when you didn't step up, when you didn't go through the necessary motions, when you didn't grow, when you didn't step into your greatness, all of those different types of things. So actually next episode I'm going to come to you and we're going to break into that regret pain. We'll talk a little bit deeper about that in the next episode. But today's episode, because we run these so short, quick, just a shot in the arm, something for you to think about while you're working out, while you're driving, whatever it is. I just want you to really dive into this whole, you know, discipline pain. Because often we just look at discipline that's positive. Discipline's an amazing thing. Discipline can be challenging. Discipline can be hard to embrace. And so, you know, when I look at my life and you think about.

Your own life, you know, I want.

To live without regrets.

I want to embrace my greatness.

I want to get out of this life. As they say, none of us are getting out alive anyway, right?

So I don't want to lay there and go, man, I wish, I wish I would have done this. I wish I would have taken this action. I wish I would have tried that. I wish I would have taken this trip. I wish I would have gone here and now.

I'm not saying go live recklessly because.

I'm also not one that says, hey, I'm going to. You know, you can use this either way, right? You can go.

Well, Kenny, my mother operated that way, my dad operated that way, my cousin operated that way, my previous spouse operated that way.

And they just flew in the face.

Of everything and they didn't live in.

A world of reality. And you don't understand, you can't live like that.

You've got.

I'm not talking about recklessness.

Although sometimes when you're living your greatest self, other people may consider it and call it reckless. Let's be honest, let's be clear. But what I'm talking about here is when we're like, you know, I just don't want to end up on my deathbed, whenever that is, and go. I wish I would have done X. Fill it in for yourself. And that's why as I started creating a self managing company in the plumbing, heating, air conditioning world, I took a six month trip. It's why when I was in the army, I became the best soldier that I could be. It's why I've had multiple businesses. And yes, many of those I do not longer own or I'm not involved in. And people call different things failures, different successes. I've created a few successes, successful companies in my time, but I've also had a few that didn't work out the way the world says, I'll put that in air quotes. If you could see me here where you know, I'll put that in air quotes. It didn't work out because it. Did it not work out, or was it one of the greatest things that happened to me that I no longer run a diaper delivery service, my friend. Right. So you think about that, but I don't want you to focus on regret. I don't want you to focus on unnecessary pain. But what if discipline is a productive pain? What if discipline is something that can actually serve your life, it can help you move forward, that can help you, you know, do different and become the better version of yourself that's available to you? You know, when we think about pain and we use what if we could use pain as a driver? What if you could take pain and say, you know what, I'm going to embrace this. And you know, it's studies prove that we as human beings do more to avoid pain than we do gain pleasure. Okay, that's fine. But what if avoiding pain isn't actually the goal? If I'm trying to avoid pain, I'm going to go away from it. But what if actually embracing pain of utilizing some discipline, I've got to have some discipline going to create a new morning ritual. If I'm going to get up and I'm going to meditate every day, if I'm going to work out every day, if I'm going to commit to a journaling practice every day, if I'm going to feed good mental food into my body on a daily basis, that takes discipline and discipline equates pain.

Why?

Because it's a different program than I'm used to running. It's doing something different than I've done in the past. I'm not conditioned to do this on a daily basis. Therefore, new discipline feels like pain. But I want you to answer this question for me. When has pain possibly been serving you? When has it actually helped you, perhaps? And when we think about it, the brain is 100% wired to solve problems for you. That's one of its main functions, is it wants to solve problems. And yet if you want to remove all the pain in your life, you're going to end up creating Even a bigger problem, right? So giving yourself, yourself something to solve on a daily basis is a very healthy thing to do. However, most of us shoot for the curb when it comes to this. And the same problem that we solve on a daily basis, the same one that we've been solving, continue to solve, continue to try to seek, and we kind of create Groundhog Day over and over again. And so where I really want you to focus today with our time together is discipline is about doing what you have to do when you have to do it. Number one, discipline is about doing what you have to do when you have to do it. Then it's a matter of the game changes. When you can turn a discipline into get to versus have to discipline. If that's meaning that I have to get up and work out, I have to meditate today, I have to write something in my journal, I have to eat healthy, I have to be a good steward of my finances, then that's going to be a challenging discipline as long as it's a have to. But what if I make a shift and can actually turn that discipline into a get to? And what if my mental focus and my mental story begins to change? And I say I get to get up and meditate today. I get the opportunity to work out because I have a physical body that I can actually move and I can walk and I can run and I can jog and I can. Whatever your level is, I don't know. But what if you. You had the opportunity to say, you know, I get to figure out my credit card debt. I get to figure out how I'm going to run my business a little bit better. I get the opportunity to solve my recruiting challenge or the issues that I have. I get to decide how I'm going to go to market at a different way. I get to solve my problem of profitability rather than a have to. Everything that I just said is going to take a discipline in order to solve it, my friend. And what if it's only discipline until it becomes a discipline? You're like, wait a minute, Kenny. More. You're not going to wordsmith me out of this. What are you talking about here? Well, let's just think about what Webster says when we're talking about the definition of discipline. Several different definitions in here, but one thing I want to talk about is one of the main ones is control gained by enforcing obedience or order. Okay, Control gained enforcing obedience or order. That's what I'm doing when I'm forcing myself to get up with the alarm I'm getting on the elliptical, I'm getting on the yoga mat, I'm eating my healthy smoothie, I'm journaling in my journal, whatever that is. That's I'm gaining control over my situation, my circumstance in my life by enforcing obedience. I've got to do this in order to get it right. So that's one of the main discipline definitions. But then there's another one that talks about self control, punishment, correcting, molding, perfecting mental faculties or moral character, all these different things. Then what I really want you to think about and focus on, if I'm for a short period of time, I'm gaining control by enforcing obedience or order. But then I'm delving into a rule or system of rules governing conduct or activity.

That's where I want us to land today.

It's a discipline until it becomes a discipline. What does that.

You're like Kenny, it's the same thing. It's not the same thing.

What do I mean by that? I had to exercise a lot of discipline when I first started getting into.

My morning ritual, when I started committing to my greatness, when I made self care my number one priority in life. That took a lot of discipline to make it happen every day. Now, my friend, it is a discipline in my life.

What does that mean?

It's just a rule of the way that I operate. It's a ritual, not a routine. It happens every single day. I can't not do it. It's now become such a discipline in my life. So think about where that shows up for you. Think about how this kind of will manifest for you when it comes to you really doing these things. So question for you today as we wrap up our time together. Where do I need to level up my own discipline, even if it's painful? Do I need to commit to being a better communicator in my relationship? Do I need to communicate better with my team? Do I need to make my goals more clear when it comes to finances? Do I need to make a commitment that I not going to say I'm going to lose 10 or 15 pounds, I'm going to lose 11 and a half pounds by a specific time. And now I'm going to operate in a discipline in order to get that going. And then it's going to become a discipline. And then, my friend, you will get your result. Remember, there's two types of pain. It's discipline and regret. Next week we're going to talk about regret, but today is about really just ramping up your own discipline. We're going to get into more next week. I'm so honored. I'm so grateful you spent this time with me, these moments that we get to have together. I'm Kenn Chapman, your host of leadership in a nutshell. This is episode 26. Make sure you just do me a favor and subscribe. Share this with somebody and until we talk, make it a better than fantastic day, my friend. We'll see you real soon.