29. Leadership: Success Choice - Business or Personal

Foreign. Hey, my friend, welcome back to leadership in a nutshell where we're cracking the code of that driven mind that you and I have been gifted with. Don't forget it is a gift and that's one of the things that we want to really embrace. And today, one of the gifts that I want to get into is episode 29 where we're going to talk about the success choice, business or personal? You only get to pick one. You can't have both. Remember, you either get good at business or you live a happy and loving and fulfilled life. Wait a minute. What? Come on. Where in the world did this come from? Why is it that there's these sayings, you can't have your cake and eat it too? Give me a little nod with me right now. I know we can't see each other. I love audio format, but I want to see you shaking your head right now. Have you heard the saying, you can't have your cake and eat it too? You can't have your cake and eat it too, Right? Hang on. I know I might have grown up as a short fat kid and maybe I like cake. But here's what I do know is why in the world would I want to have cake if I'm not going to eat it? And you know, what are the other ones? I want to challenge you here today because I do believe that you can have your cake and you can eat it too. And you can be happy and you can be healthy and you can be wealthy and you can be wise and you can have loving relationships and you can have the dream life that you want and desire as well as deserve. Yes, I believe it. I believe you believe it on some level. I believe that's one of the reasons that you engage here with me is because you want to tap into your crazy, quote unquote driven mind and you want to understand what is making me tick. And it does not resonate when you are told you have to make a choice between business success and or personal success. It doesn't make sense, my friend. And I want you to honor that disconnect in your world because you can't have your cake and eat it too isn't the only one. We also have things like money doesn't grow on trees, right? You can live where you want to live or you can make the money that you want to make. I was told that one very young by a mentor of mine, live where you want to live or make the kind of money you want. Why do I have to choose? Why can't I live where I want to live and make the kind of money that I want. How about this? Rich people don't get into heaven. Don't forget that one. Well, there's scripture that says it. Really, let's dive into the scripture because you and I might interpret that scripture a little bit differently. So I want you to just kind of take a step back with me here today and think about, you know, these things that are, that are put into our minds, these things that we're taught when it's like, hang on, everybody's doing the best they can. And I believe my mentor was trying to save me from going down a rabbit hole of fallacy, perhaps when he told me that you can make the money you want or live where you want to live. You know, when I first got into the drain cleaning business as a ripe young 23 year old entrepreneur, I had a different mentor that said, you'll make a living but you'll never get wealthy with this thing. And the challenge is no. Perhaps the way that that business was set up at that moment in time wasn't necessarily a wealth track. However, it was the next step in my journey of wealth in the world. And I don't mean wealth from an income statement or a balance sheet standpoint. I mean the living the life that I want, living where I want to live, living with who I want to live, surrounding myself with the team that I want to be surrounded by. That's what I'm talking about when I say living wealthy. So why do we have to choose? Think about these questions that come up. Either you're going to be healthy or you're going to be wealthy. If you're going to be profitable, then you're not going to be likable in business. You'll have a culture of accountability or you'll be a people driven, people, growth focused culture. Right? You can't be accountable and grow people like, what's up with that? And so as I was prepping for our time together here today, I went ahead and I typed into to Google and I said, you know, happiness over wealth. Guess how many results come back when you type in happiness over wealth. Try 49 million. 49 million. Some odd responses about how to, you know, why it's important to choose happiness over being wealthy. I personally believe that is insanity. And I believe that it's easier to blame the outside world, those around you, your team, the economy, God, whoever, and whatever you want to blame for not living your greatest life, the greatest opportunity that you have to become the very best version of yourself that you were put on this planet to become. And so then we have to address, well, you know, Kenny, money can't buy happiness. That's another one that we've heard, right? Okay, cool. I'll give that to you. Money might not be able to make you happy. However, I'll also say one of my buddies, Joe Polish, talks about money can't buy happiness. But the last time I checked, poor can't buy. Fill in the blank. Right. Poor doesn't buy anything. And I'm not talking about being rich is important. More so than being poor is going to be fulfilling. Being rich is going to be fulfilling. That's not what we're here to talk about. But here's what's interesting. There's a study done by Elizabeth Dunn and Laura Actin that talked about how money can't buy happiness. Here's what's really fascinating. They actually concluded that money can, yes, it can buy happiness so long as the money is spent on someone else. Now check that. Be mindful with me here for a moment. Money can buy happiness as long as it is being spent on someone else. So think about that like now, when you are letting yourself off the hook, when you're challenging yourself, when you're feeling guilty because you want to grow an empire, you want to scale your business, you want to pay your team a lot of money that's around you. You want to help people accomplish their goals and their dreams. And yet a lot of the world is challenged by that. Hang on, wait a minute. What if you're accumulating wealth and giving people good things at the same time? What if you're investing in your team? What if you're continuing to grow those around you? You know, I've had many businesses in many different industries, but one thing is always at the core. I run people development companies, period. The products have changed, the markets have changed, the locations have changed. But I am in the process of developing people no matter what my companies are, both internally and externally. Therefore, as I become wealthy, then guess what, it feels good and it actually makes me happy. Why? Because I am investing my wealth into the greater good of humanity. And with that comes what I would call success. Happy, healthy, wealthy, wise. Fulfillment, engagement, enjoyment, passion, love, gratitude, empathy. All of these incredible things. Right? So, you know, here's what's fascinating about the study that they did though. So this is where I want you to think about your own situation. We go, okay, well, guess what then. If some money will make me happy because I can spend it on others, then maybe A lot of money will make me really happy because I can then now spend a lot of money on other people. Here's what was fascinating is they did this study by giving people $5, $10, 15. They did different denominations up to $20. And here's what was interesting. Everybody that spent money on other people became happier, but they all became happier at the same level. They, no matter whether the people that got $5 or the people that got $20 to spend on somebody else, their level of happiness increased at the same amount. And so I want you to think about what that looks like and start really challenging your limiting beliefs, challenging the limiting contracts that you've built with yourself around money, around wealth, around influence you. It really helps you become more influential in the world if you have the means to do so. What does that mean? You can give your church more money. You can give shelters more money. You can create greater causes, greater goods. You can take trips to go do missionary work if that's what you want. Whatever it is, there's nothing wrong with you up leveling your game as a leader. You became a leader for a reason. You're in this space for a reason. So you up leveling your game and saying yes to your greatest self and the gifts that God gave you and actually makes the world a better place. And it is okay, guess what? You can have your cake and eat it too. Yes, you can. And I want you to start accepting it. I want you to really think about, like, why would I want cake if I can't eat it? Think about it. You know, you're, you're, you're not. What are you going to do? Just stare at the cake? Come on, stop it. Right? This is about reinventing how you think about cake, quote, unquote, in your life. You are. Here's, here's something that'll blow away some of you. I'm going to talk about entitlement for a moment. And those of you that know me know I'm not a big fan of entitlement. I believe that we all should work for certain things. I believe that, you know, there's, there's no entitlement other than you were born and you get an opportunity to play this game of life. However, here's what's fascinating. I am going to tell you that you are entitled today, my friend, and you are entitled to the life that you want to live. You are entitled to the greatness that you have within you. You are entitled to have, do, and be everything that you desire in your life. That's Your entitlement. And that's where it stops there. But you are entitled for that. You have the power and the responsibility to use it, own it, grab it by the horns, my friend. Like, just, let's make this life something that you truly want, desire and deserve. And when you think about it, it's no wonder so many people are lost and they're stuck in a life that they don't want to be living there. You know, we get brought up thinking that we're, you know, we're not supposed to indulge in things in life that make them happy. We're not supposed to live in the homes that we want. We're not supposed to create the relationships we want. We're not supposed to take the vacations that we want, want, you know, oh, you know, you're supposed to get a little bit, but make sure there's. Stop it. This is about you becoming you. And the better version of you, you become, the better the world becomes around you because it is true. Money's just going to make you more who you are. If you're in a kind of an ass, then you're going to be kind of a bigger ass with more money, period. That's all there is to it. Let's be honest with each other, right? Why on earth not? Do what you love, be with who you want to be, create the hobbies you want, create the interest that you want, build the relationships that you want to cultivate, build the life that is your true, optimal existence, my friend. That's what it's ultimately all about. You're not hurting anybody else. Now, I'm not talking about Ponzi schemes. I'm not talking about doing things illegally. I'm talking about everything above the board. But if you're not hurting others and what you want is not at somebody else's expense, then you deserve to pursue everything that makes you happy. Stop saying no to yourself. You afraid to go after it? You think you might not succeed? You think you won't be able to attain it? Here's a good one. Is the risk even worth the reward? These are questions that you have to ask for yourself. My responsibility, rather here at Leadership in a Nutshell, is to challenge you to challenge yourself. We're cracking the code of the driven mind, and the driven mind hears you can't have your cake and eat it too. And. And it is challenged by that. And I want you to be challenged by that. I want you to start asking better questions so you get better answers in your life. It's time to say yes. As Les Brown taught me, you've got greatness in you. I want to see more of it. I'm Kenny Chapman, your host of Leadership In a Nutshell, this has been episode 29, the Success Choice. Business or personal? Guess what? I pick both, and I hope you will, too. Do me a favor. Give me a rating. Give us a like. Give me some comments. Let me know how we're doing here. Send this episode to somebody that you love. Send this episode to somebody that you want to have a happy, healthy, wealthy life. And until we talk, make it a better than fantastic day. And I'll see you next time. Thanks, everybody.