33. Leadership: Why Did I Do That?

Foreign. Hey, my friend. Welcome back to leadership in a nutshell. I'm your host, Kenny Chapman. This is episode 33. Why did I do that? Why? Why, Kenny? Why did I do that? Right? Some of you can relate, asking yourself these questions, going, holy smokes, here I go. What am I doing? I've got this crazy add, hddhy, x D, whatever, this Dr. And I want us to kind of take a step back today and really get some clarity. I was recently in a coaching session with one of my life architecture clients, and we just had this phenomenal, kind of deeper conversation about some of the whys behind what we do. And I just wanted to share some snippets today with you as part of my role and goal with this podcast is to share those of you that don't have the ability to work with me one on one or to work with a great team over at the Blue Collar Success group one on one. You know, I. I want this to be a conduit of information. And so when we think about it, you know, there, there is a reason behind everything that you do. And my job with my one on one clients is to help them uncover that so we can realize it and interrupt the subconscious pattern. Because at the end of the day, we have, oh, great, I think I'm gonna do this. I plan that I'm going to do this, and that's my conscious mind. Then suddenly my subconscious mind gets involved and goes, okay, cool. Cool story, bro. Glad you think you're gonna do that. But here's what we're really going to do. And it takes over on autopilot. It's like the cruise control on my car, right? When it's you, you go, you know, you're going down a hill and it lets off and you're kind of coasting or whatever, and you hit the hill again, like, bam. It just kicks right back in. Same is true with the subconscious. Like, oh, I'm going to take a little break. I'm going to. I'm going to just chill out for a minute. And then all of a sudden, the subconscious goes, oh, no, we're not. We got a program to run. I don't care if it's good, bad, destructive, incredible, whatever it is, I'm going to run this program, my friend. And sometimes we don't feel like that subconscious is a friend at all, do we? So I want you to think about this, you know, this. This client of mine, amazing human being, and was talking about, you know, just that why do I do things a certain way a Certain form, you know, certain reasons behind it and that's what I just want to jump on and share with you today. When you think about yourself, why do you do certain things that almost like if you're able to take a third party look, if you're able to step out and coach yourself, if you're able to, to go to a thousand foot view and like literally ascend out of your body and look down on your, on, on your situation and you can see the building that you're in right now or outside, wherever you are in the car driving, you can look down, you see your head, you can. And see your brain and working and all the things like what am I doing? Why did I do that? And I want you to just kind of get clear about this. Now for me, I know that I've done a lot of things for a lot of reasons over the years and generally it had to do with trauma, with pain, with certain challenges. Back in the days that I drank a lot and had an unhealthy relationship with drugs and alcohol. I know that there were voids I was trying to fill and I was a high performer, I was, I was writing books, I was creating content, I was doing all these things, helping thousands and thousands of people in the world every year. But I was still trying to fill this void. And there was some why behind that. Now today is not to talk about addiction, but I will tell you that why you do certain things is tied to the way that you've done certain things. And the programs and the neuro associations that we create in our, in our mind. And so as leaders, when we take a step back and go huh, why did I do that? Well, let me ask you this. How much of what you do, pretty much on a daily, weekly, monthly, annual basis, how much of what you do, the decisions you make are tied to money in some way, shape or form? What do you think? Is it a big part? Is it not? Very big part, is it? Nah. Kenny, you know, I don't really think about money very often. Really? When all of a sudden every TV commercial is about spending money or buying the. Whatever big pharm has come up with as the next drug that it seems that we need with the amazing, happy retired people that have all kinds of stuff wrong with them but as soon as they take this drug, everything's amazing. Big business in our face. Whether it's the reality show TV people or the tiktokers or the Instagram influencers that are telling us oh hey, here's a product that I happen to use, whether it's TV shows that we watch that subtly place product that we don't even realize that it's a, it's an advertising deal, it's a licensing deal to put that product in front of us through our shows and YouTube channels and whatever that is. Right. We don't think maybe that we think about money. But then as business leaders, I'm going to challenge that even further and go, you know what? You probably think about money a lot at the time that I'm recording this particular episode is we're wrapping up 2020. Many of you have done a lot of budgeting and you've gone through different things and you know, you're thinking about money. The budget represents money. When you think about tools in the business, a lot of things tie around money. When you think about growth strategies, a lot of things have to do with money. When you think about return on investments as a leader, you're an investor in your time, your team, your organization, whatever that looks like. A lot of times it's measured in money. And that's what I want you to think about today. It's the measurement. Yes. We've got all the different things around. You know, there's scripture in the Bible around money, which I could have a very good conversation with you of what my perception of what those, what some of those verses actually mean at a certain level. There's certain things that get interpreted like code books, like, well, this is what it means to me. This is what it means to this pastor, it's what it means to this religious leader, whatever that is. What I'm looking for for you today, my friend, is what does money mean to you and what does the measurement of it mean to you? Because it is tied to a lot of why you do what you do. And when you say, no, it's not, then I want to challenge that and I want you to challenge that. And I was talking to my client about this situation, and as we were going a little bit deeper and a little bit deeper, and why am I making these certain things happen? Well, guess what, my friend, write this down. If you have the ability, money mindset matters. Your money mindset absolutely matters. And how you think about money creates the program that you run around. Money as well as your motivations, your motivators really matter when it comes to what, what's motivating you. And I want to share that with you here today. We're in this deep conversation, we're in this coaching session, and as I'm, I'm thinking through And I'm taking notes and I'm listening intently and, and going through the description of what had taken place with the decisions that were made, were being made. We're being questioned, we're being challenged. And here's what I realize and I want you to think about this. Today there's three things that really can motivate us. Number one, security. Number two, lifestyle. And number three, fulfillment. Now try to. Please don't hold me to. Oh, there's all kinds of different motivators, Kenny. These are the only three. There's many kind of motivators. But today I want to focus and zero in on just these specific three. Three, what motivates you around security. And as a business leader, this is super important, if not critical, that you get clear around this. If you have a certain relationship with your craving, with your motivation for security, that 100% is going to be involved in the type of a business that you create, in a type of a department that you create, in a type of a team that you create. It's going to completely tie to your level of pain. I talked in the last episode about the fact that we don't scale ourselves into pain. And so if being secure means less pain than taking a risk and putting myself out there and challenging cash flow and borrowing money or whatever the case is, and, and yet you're telling yourself that you want to grow, you got to check this out. And guess what? There's no wrong answer. This is you. It's your life. In the last episode, we talked about designing your life through the business. Now let's just honor that design. And if you want to stay small, because that represents security, because I'll remind you, my, my mentor, Keith Cunningham, that wrote the great book the Road Less Stupid, talks about there's nothing more painful or more risky than running a small business. And I've run, quote, small businesses my entire career. And when Keith said that to me, I went, wow. He's says far, far easier, far more comfortable running eight figure companies. I haven't had that opportunity yet. Why? Because I haven't designed it, that's why. Let's go back to that. So the three things, Security, lifestyle, fulfillment. So there's a functionality of security that, that you're after. So why do I make that decision, Kenny? Well, well, what does security play in? Where does security tie to it? We will do certain things that don't logically make sense or we understand like they don't make sense, but it fulfills a level of security. Then we look at lifestyle. You're going to do certain things, make certain decisions based on your lifestyle. You might not want to take a different position, move across the country. You might not want to add a line extension or build a different type of business model because it's going to impact your lifestyle. And you don't want to, quote, work that hard. You don't want to jump back in, whatever. That's all good. I create lifestyle businesses, and that's the whole point of me creating business. It's my creative expression. It's all it is when I. When I create businesses. And that's the third one that we're talking about here today, is fulfillment. So security, lifestyle fulfillment. When you get lifestyle in, you know, it's like we talked about security. We talk a little bit about lifestyle. My. For me, it's schedule freedom. It's being able to work with the people that I want to work with. It's the ability to fire a client anytime that they are telling me that they want to grow, but they actually don't want to grow. I'm not in this for the money. I'm in this for the human experience of changing lives and changing lives of lives. I don't have children, but I impact children every single day with what I do. I hope something today resonates with you, where you go home and go, you know what, how do you think about money? Or when you see your child making a certain decision, how does that show up? What does that look like? Is that tied to security? Is that tied to lifestyle? Or is that tied to the third thing, fulfillment? And I want to leave you with this here today is the fulfillment part of what we do as leaders is massively important, my friend. It's so critical. Critical and crucial. There. I made a word together, right? So it's crucial. How about that? This is my podcast. I can use whatever words I want. And so the reality is I. I laugh. I'm just saying that, you know, it's crucial to our. To our enjoyment of life. And when I look at clients that have retired in it, that's what I preach and coach and work through. And, you know, it's. It's about retiring in your business. I. I run multiple companies today, but I feel as though I'm retired. Why? Because I'm doing this right now with you, because I want to do it, not because I have to do it to go earn a check, because that's retirement to me, and that means that I'm being fulfilled right now. It'd be a lot more fulfilled if you'll subscribe to this and give me a rating or a review. How about that? I would love for it to be fulfilled in that level. But in all kidding aside, why is this fulfilling? Because this is my creative expression based on the design that I've done in my businesses. And so for you, what decision? Like, God, Kenny, why did I do that? As I go back to this conversation with this client. Well, it really falls in three categories when we're talking about certain things, especially around money decisions. Is it a decision around security? Is it a decision around lifestyle? Or is it a decision around fulfillment? There are no wrong answers. There's only right answers. And the right answer is your answer, my friend. That's truly what it's all about. This is episode 33 of Leadership in a nutshell. Why did I do that? Hopefully now you've got a little more clarity. I'm your host, Kenny Chapman. Do me a favor. Please subscribe. Please give me a rating and review. I was joking about it earlier, but really would be honored if you would share this with somebody. Share it with a team member, share it with a friend, share it with somebody that could use a little shot in the arm once a week. And until we talk, my friend, make it a better than fantastic week and we'll see you real soon. Sam.