35. Leadership: How to Catch and Coach Yourself

Foreign. Hey, my friend, welcome back to leadership in a nutshell where we're cracking the code of the driven mind. I am your host, Kenny Chapman and this is episode 35 where I want to talk to you about how to catch and coach yourself. I'm massively into coaching, obviously. I've built a market leading coaching company for the blue collar trades. I coach in the life space, I coach in personal development space. I coach greatness with individuals. I help people get out of their way and into their greatness as my friend and mentor Les Brown talks about. But here today, I want you to become your own coach. And I want to share a process that I utilize with myself. So yeah, I get paid a lot of dough to help people out and to help them see their blind spots. But real transformation happens when, when you're able to start catching yourself and seeing your own blind spots, if you will. And so I'm going to share a four step process that I've built and kind of modified and worked through and utilized to help me as well as clients. And I want you to just kind of think about, a couple episodes ago I came to you and talked about why did I do that? Episode 33, why did I do that? If you haven't listened to that episode, make sure you catch that because this is going to tie to that from a standpoint of when you realize, like, why did I do that? I want you to then go, okay, cool, so I catch something that I doesn't resonate with me, maybe doesn't represent the individual. I want to be the communicator. I want to be the team leader that I want to be the business leader that I want to be the steward of my finances. I want to be the spouse that I want to be, the friend that I want to be, whatever it is, right? And so the key is to be in tune with yourself enough. You can't possibly self coach if you don't self realize, right? So there's a level of being in tune with yourself from your own feelings. How you catch yourself feeling at times like, you know, getting down to your gut people, you know, I'm big on the gut. Not from a standpoint of health where the gut is so important, which it totally is. I'm big on the gut of knowing what's right, knowing what's right for you, knowing when things are in alignment for you, when you're in integrity or it's like, I don't know, the gut always knows. And when you challenge me with that or challenge yourself and go I don't know. I'm not sure, Kenny. I'm not sure that my gut knows what that is. Is your conscious mind getting in the way of your subconscious mind who already knows? And so it's not that we don't retrain our subconscious. Often we have to constantly be reprogramming it for what we want. But really, you know, how you feel comes from a clarity. Number one of how do you want to feel? And number two, being able to know when you're not in alignment with that feeling. Clarity is the first dimension in six dimensions of change. And so, you know that book that I wrote for you of how to get what you really want, it begins with clarity. And I'm not here to sell books today. What I'm here to do is help you change your life. And, and it begins with clarity and having the awareness of how you're feeling, how you're operating, how you're acting. Because most people go through life largely unconscious and largely not paying attention to how they're operating, how they're communicating, how they're making other people feel, or I should say creating an environment for other people to feel specific or certain ways. So one, it takes clarity. Two, it takes awareness. Three, it takes this desire to improve. This isn't the four step process, by the way. I'm just sharing a few things. For you to realize you've got to have a desire to improve. If you're going to be effective at self coaching yourself, you've got to want to improve. Because when you want to improve, you're willing to do the dirty work of being honest with yourself. If you're not honest with yourself, you can't possibly get clear about your own growth. When you are not honest with yourself, you're telling yourself a lie. When clients hire myself or the team at Blue Collar to coach and train and yet fudge on certain things or, well, my net profits around this, rather than going, here's the numbers, here's what it is. I'm going to tell myself the truth. I'm going to tell my coaches the truth. That's what I really want. To self coach yourself. It's a whole nother level of truth because you've got to have the clarity to go, oh my gosh, that doesn't feel good. I, I'm going to catch myself now. I want to coach myself. You've got to be grounded in truth. You've got to be rooted in truth if you want to do this. And so I had the opportunity recently where I spoke out of Alignment with something that felt good to me. And as soon as I said it, I was like, man, that just didn't really resonate. That wasn't the Kenny that Kenny wants to be in today's world. That's not the Kenny that Kenny works to grow and to become. And there was some previous conditioning that reared its head. You know how that happens? I'm sure. Give me a head shake. We're on audio. But give me a. You ever have your old self manifest and show up and go, hey, you know, it kind of reminds me of the old cartoons where there's the devil and the angel on both sides of your shoulders, and here you are in the middle. My. My old devil popped up and did something out of behavior that I used to operate with and went, whoa. That doesn't resonate with my new self. Not that my new self is an angel by any stretch, but it's more of who I want to be. And when I know that I'm in alignment, I feel good. And even when I make mistakes, I feel good because I know that I'm striving to be the best person that I can be. Why? Because I have clarity. I have awareness. I have a desire to grow and improve, and I am going to tell myself the truth to the best of my ability. So let's talk about how you can implement this in your own life and in your own relationships, Finance your own true four steps here, my friend. If you have the ability to write these down, if you're in your car, don't worry about it. Come back and write them or grab them in show notes if you're at the gym, you know, I'll put them in show notes as well, so you can catch this, but number one, catch yourself. So it's even in the title, how to catch and coach yourself. Number one, you got to catch it. You can't possibly coach yourself if you're not aware that you did something that you want to work on. If you're not aware that you're out of alignment with yourself, if you're not aware that you're not possibly in full integrity of who you want to be, you got to catch yourself. And catching yourself comes from that down below your solar plexus in your gut, it's where it's like, oh, man, that. That didn't feel very good. So you got to catch yourself and be aware enough. In this case that I'm talking about, I immediately, as soon as I said something, I went, God, that. That just didn't resonate. Didn't really feel very good. And I was in an environment where I wasn't going to continue to go. I was in a public speaking environment, was like, well, I'm not going to go to my entire audience and go, hey, wait a minute, you know, everybody online here with me, let me make sure that wasn't the time or the place for that. But I had to make it right with myself. I had to learn everything that I could so I could self coach myself to get better. So, number one, you catch yourself. Number two, write about it. Write that down. Write about it now. I'm a big fan of journaling. If you've been following me for any amount of time, you know that's a fact. If you're new to my podcast or my blogging, go back and watch or listen to some episodes or read some episodes around my five step self care ritual. Literally you can download on my website@kennychapman.com what leaders do to be successful. And I share a five step ritual in there. And journaling is a big part of my ritual. Journaling also is just a label and it's a name for people to, you know, call something that they do. For me, I just write every day. That's it. The world calls it journaling. I call it downloading my brain. And so as soon as you catch something that doesn't resonate, write about that specific incident for me. After this happened, I got up the next morning and I just wrote. I do it during my morning routine is when I write. You can write any time of the day. You can journal in the evening time, you can journal in the morning. You can journal more than once a day. I just encourage you to find a ritual that works for you. This is where you set yourself free. How to catch and coach yourself. You caught yourself. Now you write about it. Because now you're getting it out of the subconscious mind. You know, the subconscious is a master of manipulation, of justification, of minimization, of running programs over and over. You think you're working through it. No, you're not. You're bouncing a lot of the same things around in your head over and over, trying to justify why you did something, trying to minimize what you said. Whatever it is, just write it down and write how you made you feel at that time. Number three, review it. Write about it. Then review what you wrote because I want you to just write. Just don't even think. Don't worry about punctuation, don't worry about spelling. Just you're downloading your emotional brain from the subconscious of what is in your head and in your heart. So you just write, write, write, then you go back and review it. And so for me, I like to journal and then I like to review the next day or, or later that day. And I go, huh, Sometimes I'll review it with my coach. Yes, I get, I have a personal coach. I get, I get coached in both group settings as well as individual coaching settings because I invest in myself, my self care. I know that makes me better, which makes my team better, which makes my clients better, which makes everybody's life better, which ties to my primary purpose, which is making a positive impact in the world around me as well as growing myself each and every day while becoming the greatest version of myself I can. The greatest version of myself I can is tied to what we're talking about here. And it's catching yourself. It's writing about whatever it was that didn't resonate with you. It's going back and reviewing it. And then number four, you've got to release it. Write that down. Release. So I come from, you know, I live in Arizona now, but I spent a lot of time in Colorado. You get up around Aspen, you've got what they call gold medal waters and you can fish those waters, but it's catch and release, right? So this process is much like catch and release, but we get some value. So if you think about fishing, you catch the fish, you take a picture, you weigh it, you might take a few different pictures. If you're going to have somebody, you know, create a, what am I trying to say, a taxidermist, like creating this, you know, remodel or model this fish so you can hang it on your wall. A couple of processes you do. Then you release the fish, right? You let it go and it goes on, on about its way and it lives for another day. Here's this process. It's catch and release. But in between the catching of what you did or said or, or feeling and the releasing of it, you're writing about it and you're reviewing it so you can get the value out of it, so you can get the understanding, so you can get the lesson. Don't let a teachable moment miss you by or pass you by or miss for yourself. It's a matter of going, huh, I don't like how that feels, how that sounded, how that came out, how I worded that. I don't like how I talked to my children last night. I had a client that was talking about, doesn't want to drop f bombs toward her kids and like whatever it is, that's cool. Just catch yourself and then write about when it happened, why it happened, then go back and review so you let it get reprogrammed into your subconscious from this emotion and then release it. My friend. There is no reason to kick your own butt. There's no reason to hang on to it once you learn the lesson. You have learned the lesson and now it's time to release. This is how you go about catching and coaching yourself, my friend. I would love to hear from you. Shoot me an email kennynnychapman.com make sure you rate us, review us, and most importantly, subscribe to this podcast and and share it with somebody that could get value from being able to catch and coach themselves. Maybe share this with a family membership. Maybe share this with a team member. Maybe do me a real solid and share this on your social media page. I would be honored. I would be in debt to you. Help us grow this community. Thank you so much for being a part of this. This is Leadership in a nutshell. Episode 35 I'm Kenny Chapman, your host. How to Catch and Coach Yourself until we talk. Make it a better than fantastic week and we'll see you real soon. Sam.