36. Leadership: Got Presents? Now it's Time for Presence!

Foreign. Hey, my friend. Welcome back to leadership in a nutshell, where we're cracking the code of the driven mind. This is episode 36. I am your host, Kenny Chapman. And today's topic is got presents? Now it's time for presents. And you go, wait a minute now, I know for myself I'm not that great of a speller. And that's the same word now, isn't it, Kenny? Yeah. Right. Well, at the time of this recording, we're just a few days after Christmas and many of you got presents or gifts, if you will. And now it's time for presence. When we think about presence, I'm talking about mindful presence, awareness, being present and today's episode. I kind of want to break down some ways to help you when it comes to really just having emotional regulation and control over your life. Where we have this tendency, and this is an interesting time of year because we give each other gifts and, you know, there's holiday stuff going on and many people are kind of cheerful and happy and other people are kind of stressed out and anxious. And then we've got the end of the year right around the corner. And the same is true. Some people are happy and some people are anxious and all kinds of different things. And in the year 2020, many people are just super pumped to turn the chapter and get into the new calendar and all that type of thing. And I want you to just think about how can we step into our greatness by being more aware? And it's time for presence. So when you think about stress, anxiety, pain, trauma, distraction, like all kinds of different things that are pulling at you that are creating challenge in your life, right? And they show up in many different avenues, many different ways. It can be from many of us in the business leader realm. It's from too much going on straight up overwhelm. I just had a client call with one of my life architecture clients and we were talking about just straight up overwhelm and decision making fatigue, right? Those, those things can be stressful and drive some anxiety. And then we also have, you know, where else can some of these stress, anxiety, pain, trauma, distraction comes from, you know, email, nonstop social media, lack of focus, unnecessary interruptions, all, all different kinds of ways, shapes and forms that can create problems for us if we will. Right? But here's what I want to give you a gift of today, if you will. There is one solution for many, many problems. And I'm going to say every problem that we've talked about here on this list, plus, plus, plus. And that is being present. So think about this for a moment. All problems exist in the mind. And you might go, well wait a minute Kenny, that's, that's not accurate. My business is down 50%, 80%. I was talking to a public speaker the other day that had their keynote business completely decimated with COVID right? Went from being a high fee, highly booked keynote speaker to all conferences, all industries just killed instantly. Like in my speaking career, I was very blessed that I already had been focused on coaching and training and building solutions for people long. You know, keynoting was a very small kind of bonus vertical of my, of my livelihood and, and what I did to bring value to the world. And so because of that, my entire business didn't get shut down overnight, but for many people it did. And you might go, well, come on Kenny, that, that doesn't exist in my mind. Well, here's what I want you to realize is the label of the problem does exist in your mind. Because the same person I was speaking to went, oh, got slayed this year from a keynote speaking standpoint, but took that and decided that they were going to go create a coaching program. They decided they were going to do different things. They decided they were going to get off of their long term procrastination. I'll say I could say it many different ways, but in the interest of not offending anyone, like get off of their procrastination they're sitting on, right? And actually create some virtual training and some different things for their, for the industry that they serve. And so was really, was having too many keynotes a problem or was that being only focused on a problem or is that going away a problem? Guess what my friend, it's in your mind. And you go, well yeah, but Kenny, problems. I've got problems with my company. Like the company that I'm running, my leadership team, my frontline team, my kids, my finances, my spouse. I've got, I've got problems all kinds of different type. Here's the reality. It's all mindset based and we can only control the mind when we slow down and step into presence. Presence actually allows us space to either solve what we're dealing with or to learn from what we're dealing with. And I'm a big component or a big proponent, I should say. I'm a big proponent to learning everything that I possibly can when it comes to challenges. Right? So I want you to think about this and really just get clear about. Huh? Okay, so I've got this problem that exists. Does it really exist in the mind. I don't want you to get tripped up there, here today, but I want you to think about how presence can actually help serve you and help you solve any challenge that you have. And so there's really, you know, one of the ways that we want to do this is be mindful of what you're focusing on. So I want to circle back to one of the first points that we talked about here. When it came to the stress and the anxiety. I know for myself, overwhelm is a productivity killer. Overwhelm is like fuel to the fire of anxiety. If I'm struggling with any anxiety, if I have some different things, then overwhelm sets in. You might as well be throwing gas on that fire. Gasoline, right. It's like, oh, my gosh, what's going on? And that's because I'm not taking the, you know, peeling the layers back of the onion, if you will. I'm not focusing on the core. And that's why I want you to realize that all problems exist in the mind first and foremost. Because you think about, you know, I come from the plumbing, heating, air conditioning, electrical industries, still run the blue collar success group that coaches in the trades there. And, you know, one of the things that's fascinating is it goes back to that whole, you know, what were we taught as kids? Like, you know, one person's garbage is another person's treasure. Never do you know that more than anywhere, if you're in the air conditioning business, when the perfect weather day is your enemy, right? Like, it's just, you know, when people go, oh, my gosh, it's extreme. It's super freezing cold. It's terrible. H vac companies go, sweet, it's freezing cold, and it's terrible, which means it's amazing. And so think about that. Virtually every industry has different dichotomies like that. When you can't get into a restaurant because they're sold out and booked for weeks and you can't get a reservation, that's a problem for you because you want to go eat incredible food back, you know, when restaurants are open. And yet for the chef and for the restaurant, that's an amazing opportunity. Like, it's a great thing that they're booked and they're sold out. And so it's kind of this yin and yang. It's kind of both sides of the coin, if you will. But I just want you to realize when you focus on one thing, and that is generally needing to get down to what I can actually control, if I think about my position at work, my leadership responsibilities. What is it that is the actual problem? And really what's the core of the problem? Because generally there's cause and effect. The problem that I feel is, isn't really the problem that I've got. And so today I wanted, you know, as we're diving in here, a little bit deeper, where we go, okay, you got your presence and your gifts out of the way. Now it's time for presents. Because this is one of the biggest gifts you can give yourself. This is one of the biggest gifts you can give your family. This is one of the biggest gifts you can give your team. When you're conscious and you're paying attention and you're listening and you're focusing on one particular thing, and you go, huh, okay, now that's the thing that I'm focused on. If you're having a conversation, you're listening to truly understand, not listening for them to stop talking, all these fundamental communication, you know, tools that we talk about. The other thing I want you to realize is about a presence trigger, if you will, when it comes to triggers in your mind and in your life situation, most people live their lives largely unconscious, and you kind of go through the world in a waking dream state. And I want you to challenge that and look for presence triggers. And sometimes, you know, I've heard it taught around, if you're driving, use every stoplight as a presence trigger to be realized. Like, okay, I stopped at the stoplight. Am I here? Am I here now? And that's the question I want you to begin to really work with and to see if you can build into your self. Managing questions that you ask yourself, if you will, as you work to partner with your subconscious at a deeper level, it takes you consciously asking yourself, am I actually here right now? I know on focus days, when I focus on my major, I do a lot of this. I'll do podcasting on focus days. I do client work on focus days. I do my purpose guided leadership coaching strategies on focus days. Often I'll write for my next book that'll be coming out in the second quarter of 2021 called Purpose Guided Leadership. I'll be, like, focusing on certain things, and the next thing you know, I'm like, oh, my gosh, am I even here? Or I'm in some dream state of creation and productivity and creativity and like, wait a minute, take a step back. Am I here? Am I breathing? Can I see? Can I feel okay, maybe I need to straighten up. Maybe I need to stretch. Maybe I need to walk around my desk, the room or the block, and take a moment to get back into presence. Because that's where life happens. Otherwise, I'm in a dream state. I might as well be asleep. But I'm awake in a dream state, right? Last thing I want you to think about here today. And I'm going to give you one reminder. But the last thing is when you're asking that question, am I here now? I want you to think about the word nowhere, right? Like, so you go, well, of course I'm here now, Kenny, otherwise I would be nowhere. Well, think about that word and then break it up. So nowhere. If you put a space in that word, it could be now, here, right? And so I want you to think about. You literally can take yourself from being nowhere, lost in a sea of unconsciousness, lost in, in just mind running like crazy, monkey brain completely running what I'm doing. And you can go, am I here now? And go now, here. Oh, boom. Now I, I, I feel it when I say it out loud to you as we're spending this time together on this recording. Am I here? Yes, Kenny, I'm now here. Boom. I'm present. I'm here. And now I'm ready to go a level deeper to, to think about the challenges that I have to really work on, what I need to work on. Conscious clarity is key. Don't worry, it's not going to be all day. Every day you're going to get sucked into projects. The subconscious mind is there to keep you alive, to solve problems, to run on autopilot for you. But it only operates at the level that you can condition it to operate as far as effectiveness for you. Remember, it's going to take three things for you to get good at this, my friend. And it's going to take practice. And it's going to take practice and, and it's going to take practice, my friend. That's what it's all about. It's about being easy with yourself, Making sure that when you realize, like, wait a minute, am I here right now? No, I'm not. Well, now I'm here. That means now I'm present. That means now I can realize what's in my mind, knowing that this problem that I'm facing is existing in my mind and the labels that I put on it, the emotion, I'm so associating with it, and which means that I now can find the solution to deal with it and or learn from it. Do me a favor, write us a review. It would be massively helpful for me? Yes. I'm asking you for a favor. I would love it if you would write me a review. I would love it even more if you would take a picture of that review and email it to me. Kennykennychapman.com Send me a picture of that review you posted. And? And I don't care what the star is. You can give it a one star. I'm still going to send you one of my books. I'll give you access to one of my books if you'll do that for me. Kennyennychapman.com with a picture of your review, I will hook you up. I'm Kenny Chapman, your host of Leadership In a Nutshell, this is episode 36, got presents. Now it's time for Presence. Until we talk, make it a better than fantastic week. I'll see you real soon. Thanks, everybody.