39. Unique Advantage: Gap Management

Foreign. Hey, my friends, welcome back to leadership in a nutshell where we're cracking the code of that driven mind you and I have been blessed with. By the way, it's not a curse, it is a blessing. I'm your host, Kenny Chapman, and today is episode number 39. I'm super pumped. We're talking about unique advantage again today. And today we're talking about the unique advantage you have in gap management. I'll dive into that in just a moment. But I want you to think about this. Like, you know, last week we talked about unique advantage and kind of really getting clear around your mindset and am I growth or am I fixed? And different things like that. This week, I want you to think about how you manage the gap when it comes to your own unique advantage. And I was first taught this concept by my mentor, Dan Sullivan, runs Strategic Coach. Highly respect Dan, known Dan for many, many years now and one of the biggest mentors and influencer my life. And when Dan first taught me the gap concept, I just really, I realized why I had been so frustrated for so many years, even though I was a, a quote unquote, top producer in my, in my world, in my field, in my life, whether it be strategies, income, freedom, like all kinds of different things. But I was living most of my time in the gap. And what I want us to really realize today and think about, when it comes to gap management, you're always going to have a gap. And many of us did it recently around the beginning of the year. You know, I won't continue to bash New Year's resolutions. I'm all about anything that improves anybody's life. So if that works for you, I'm all down for it. But what I know is the calendar often gives an opportunity. Certainly with my companies, we set new budgets for Critical Synergy. We set a new budget for the Blue Collar Success Group. I have my own goals for 2021. There are certain things that just based on the calendar, we set some specific goals. I don't call them New Year's resolutions, just for the reasons that I've discussed in previous episodes. Now, that being said, what happens anytime you create a goal, you create a gap between where you are right now and where you want to go. And this episode I'm also recording based on a webinar training that I recently did for the members of Blue Collar Success Group, where I dove into these three key categories of unique advantage. And when you think about managing the gap, what we need to realize is there's a lot of super talented, very high performing people that are just simply unable to enjoy life. They walk around frustrated, they're upset all the time. There's never enough is never enough type of a thing. And I'm all about constant, never ending improvement, continuing to grow, learn, thrive. But I want you to be mindful that, you know, if we just realize we're constantly in a gap, there's some freedom there. And then we get to learn how to manage the gap because that's where life is lived for goal setting people like you and me. Every time you accomplish something that you set out to do, what do you do then? You set a new goal, you desire something different, you want to move forward. And I'm not just talking about income, I'm talking about relationships, I'm talking about education, I'm talking about capability. You always want to be growing, learning, improving. Therefore there's always a gap between where you are and where you want to go. And that is a hundred percent okay. Let's embrace that being okay, my friend. Let's find a way to win rather than trying to be right of. Well, I'll be happy when we all know that syndrome. Oh, I'll be happy when I make X amount of money. I'll be happy when I get the new car. I'll be happy when my business does X amount in sales. And it's so short lived. And I believe the more and more successful you become, the shorter and shorter lived those type of kind of finite, overarching goals. And I'm all about accomplishing goals. Please don't take this out of context. What I'm not all about is living in pain until you catch, accomplish, do whatever it is that you want to do. And then you're quickly frustrated because now you want another level. Let's embrace it. Let's live in fulfillment, let's live in joy and in happiness and realize how we can go about this strategically. I want to share four things that Dan has taught me around the gap in the gain. He wrote a great book called the Gap and the gain is short. Short read that I, that I do recommend, highly recommend actually. And so I want to talk a little bit about this strategy though today. And there's four things I want to share with you. I'm paraphrasing what Dan taught in the book from my perspective and my understanding. And here's what I want you to think about and write down. Number one, measurement creates progress and how you measure matters. Realize that because if I'm just measuring forward all the time, I'm not there yet. I'm not there yet. I'm not there yet. I have this far to go. I have this far to go. I have this far to go. I'm going to be in pain. I'm going to be annoyed. I'm going to be frustrated. However, if I have my goal where I want to go, and I'm measuring backward, by looking at how far I've come now, I'm able to know that I'm and feel and embrace the progress that I'm creating. And so I've got to have specificity around what I'm measuring back to look at as well. You know, when. When you realize, like, okay, cool, I. I want to do something specific. You want to get clear about what that is. The lovely Christie and I are big hikers, and I love hiking. And what's fascinating is if we set out on a new trail, an aggressive trail, a long trail, whatever it is, we're constantly looking at that horizon up on top of the mountain as far as we're going. And when I continue to measure by how far we've got to go yet, I can get frustrated. I can physically feel fatigue. I can be almost thirstier, if you will, right? But then when I stop and take a drink of water and turn around and look back down the mountain, I'm like, holy cow, look how far we've come. That's what I want in your life. Measurement creates progress when done correctly, and that is by measuring backwards. It's not about measuring yourself against the top players in the industry, the best people at what you do, or whatever the case may be. This is measurement against where you have come in relation to where you want to go. Second thing, realize and set yourself free. Dan taught me ideals cannot be achieved. We set goals based on ideals. Ideally, I would like to have this. Ideally, I would like to be at this revenue. Ideally, I would like to have this many team members. Ideally, I'd like to operate like this as a leader. Ideally, I'd like to be this type of husband, father, whatever it is. But one of the things that I believe in is that if I set a goal that I want to get closer to my spouse, then that's really an ideal. I mean, it's like, okay, well, wait a minute. That's. That's super general. Like, okay, I want to do that. But a goal is that I want to implement date night once a week for the next 12 weeks. That means in the next 12 weeks, I'll have 12 date nights. Now, that's my gap Moving forward. As we move forward and it's been eight weeks, I can now look back and say how many date nights have I had in those eight weeks? That's measurable. By measuring back and being realizing that ideals just it generally they can't, they can't be achieved. I mean in reality, like Dan says, ideally, nobody ever gets there anyway. So ultimately when I first was taught that concept, I'm like, well wait a minute, then what's the point? Right? So bear with me as you're kind of allowing your thinking to work through this process. Like well, wait a minute Kenny, are you saying that there's no point in ideals? A hundred percent, there is a really massive point with ideals. I'm just telling you that ideals exist for you to set the goal from. I want to be happy, healthy, wealthy, wise. That's the ideal. In order to do that then I've got to set specific goals around what does happiness look like for me, when do I feel it, how do I know it? If I'm going to be healthy as an ideal, then what is it specifically that health represents to me? If I'm going to be wealthy as an ideal, then what does that mean to me as far as relationships, as far as income, as far as economic independence, as far as so many other things that might go into the wealth category of ideal? And last and certainly not least then the wisdom. If I want to be wise, what does that look like? How would I know if I'm moving toward an ideal of being wise? Right? So I want you to realize, you know, measurement creates progress. Ideals cannot be achieved, only measure backwards. It's super important to get that third key point. You only measure backwards because when you're measuring forward, you create pain. And the last thing I want you to realize today is that it's about always expanding capability. When you're managing your gap, you're in your gap, you're going through the gap and picture like you know, you know I'm going to do the rim to rim of the of the Grand Canyon. I was going to do it for my 50th birthday and then one of the resorts burned down at the bottom of the of the canyon. And yes, you can judge me if I'm going to stay the night at a resort in the bottom of the canyon. Not much for tent camping, but I love hiking. So I'm going to do it my way and you go ahead and do it your way and I'll allow you to judge me for the way that I want to do it. But Nonetheless, there was a fire and it burned down the. The place we were going to stay, the camp thing that we were going to stay at. And then with COVID there's been all kinds of different things that happened during my 50th year. So we'll either do it later this fall, around my 51st birthday, or whatever. It's something we're going to do. But what's fascinating when I've watched documentaries on it, I want you to think about that. For the gap, I can't wait to do it. And I'll. I'll record another episode about it. Because you stand on one on one side of the rim and you look at the other rim and it's like, holy cow, look at this massive canyon. And. And that's the thing. You do those in different ways, shapes and forms in your life all the time. But if I'm going to be miserable the entire time that I'm hiking the Grand Canyon, then what's the fricking point of doing it? I'm not doing it. So I come out on the other side and go, okay, now I'm going to be happy. I'm doing it because I want to experience the joy, the bliss, the challenge, the maybe pain, I'll say, of going through the process of hiking 26 miles, through all this elevation gain and temperature change and all those different. I want to have that experience. And that's what it's about, managing the gap in your life. You are driven or you wouldn't be listening to this podcast and sharing this time and energy together. Because you're driven, you will always have some gap in your life. You create different gaps when you. As soon as the kids are out of the house, we're going to do fill in the blank xyz. Now there's a gap. Some of you that can't wait to retire or seek different levels. As soon as you retire now you've created a gap. As soon as you set an income goal, you've created a gap. As soon as you set a weight goal, you've created a gap. As soon as you set a vacation goal, whatever it is, think about it. There's a gap between me and starting my hike at the Grand Canyon because I want to go hike the Grand Canyon. There's a gap between even getting it scheduled, getting it sorted, paying for it, doing all those different types of things. Then there's another gap. The day I stand on one rim and look at the other end. As soon as I come out the other side and I accomplish it. And I look at all the lovely Christie's pictures that she took because I'm not the photographer in our, in our marriage, I'll go, wow, that's amazing. What's next? And I lived a lot of my life by every time I said, what's next? I felt a hole, I felt empty, I felt pain, I felt frustration. And I don't want that for you. I don't want that for me. I don't want that for you. I don't want that for anybody on the planet. So a unique advantage for you, my friend, is embracing your own gap management. Step into the gap. Use it for what it's there for. Learn everything that you can always be expanding your capability. So recap Our four points Always measurement. Measurement creates progress. Ideals can't be achieved. Ideals are used to help you set goals. Only measure backwards. Yes, you're going in the direction of where you're headed, but you measure backward. The goal is set forward. The measurement is done backwards. And lastly, always expand your your capability. I'm Kenny Chapman, your host of Leadership in the Nutshell. I'm so honored that you're here with me, that you're spending this time with me. Please give us a rating. A Review Share this episode with somebody that you care about. Share it with a team member. Share it with a boss. Share it with somebody on social media. I would be honored and grateful. And until we talk, my friend, make it a better than fantastic day and manage that gap. We'll see you soon.