42. The World DOES Revolve Around You

Foreign. Hey, my friends, welcome back to leadership in a nutshell. I'm your host, Kenny Chapman. You're joining me today for episode 42. The world does put that in all caps revolve around you. The world does revolve around you. And as driven leaders in today's world, we have these different things that we kind of pay attention to and we're mindful of. And definitely, I, I want to seek my enlightenment. I want to minimize my ego. I want to remain humble. And how many times have you thought or heard the statement that, oh, man, come on now. The world doesn't revolve around you as the leader. Leaders eat last. As the org chart, flip it upside down and we're at the bottom of it. And all those things that, yes, I believe in, yes, I feel passionate about, yes, I totally get it. But at the end of the day, here's the reality. The world does revolve around you, your particular world, 100%. And so now let stay with me, because I'm going to tie this to your team, because, spoiler alert, your team's world revolves 100% around them, too. So what we really need to do is seek a natural intersection of where your world and the company, meaning, like, so you're one of the top leaders in the business is. And then, however your world intersects with their world in a fulfilled, passionate manner, really good things happen. And so, you know, what we've got to do is eliminate falsities, though, eliminate lack of truth, because your gut knows the truth. And one of the challenges that we run into is honoring that truth. And then we read books, we listen to podcasts, we pay attention to certain things. And then guilt, shame, pain, trauma, all these things kind of resurface or come back to life and go, wait a minute, I'm not worthy of coming first. I'm not worthy of being, serving what I truly want from a need, desire, passion, point in my life. And that is insanity. Because if you're not fulfilled as the leader, then the organization is not going to get fulfilled. And if you and the organization are not fulfilled, then no team can possibly be fulfilled. And yet we still run around going, oh, everybody first. Everybody before me, let me give, give, give. And that's all necessary. Don't get me wrong, and don't take this out of context, please. I am 100% about serving others. My entire purpose in life revolves around making a positive impact in my own life and the lives of others. But what I know is when I used to check it out, I used to Attempt to live my life by making a positive impact in only the lives of others. Though that wasn't in my primary personal purpose statement, that was how I lived my life. And Kenny came last. And so Kenny's emotions came last. Kenny's wants and needs came last, Kenny's energy came last, Kenny's health came last. And that is not going to be sustainable long term. I'm a guy that's never going to retire. I'm a guy that's going to live intentionally, in purpose, on purpose for my entire life. I don't punch a clock to. When I turn 62, I'm going to completely change my life. When I turn 65, I'm going to sell all my assets. When I hit 70, I'm going to buy a tiny house and, you know, cook outside all my meals. I don't know. All of those things may happen in different ways, shapes or forms, but Kenny Chapman's here to create value and I understand that. Purpose, fulfillment, passion, truth, all of those things for me come from creativity, from connection, from learning what I can learn, and then helping other people see it, realize it, expose it to themselves, and then make their own decisions of what their truth is moving forward. And because of this, you have got to start realizing that your particular world revolves around you. Now challenge me on this. When I want you to think about this, because you go, no, Kenny, I'm the first one in at the office. I'm the last one to leave. Like I said, you know, eaters eat last. I was in the United States army and you know, all the, the enlisted, eight before the officers, whatever that is. That's all well and good. I'm not trying to challenge any of that. What I'm trying to get you to understand is for sustainability, I've got to get you to realize, I should say that the world revolves for you around your focus, your desires, your beliefs, right? So what you believe to be true certainly creates your own perspective, which creates your own reality. Your world revolves around your own fears, how you see the world when it comes to if you can trust people, if people are out to get you, if there is enough money to go around, if you live in abundance mindset, or if there's a scarcity mindset. If you want a client or you want a job, it means that other people aren't going to have enough to go around, whatever that looks like you. Your world revolves around your own goals and your desires, around what you want, both in business, in your personal relationships, in time, in where you really invest the Waking hours of your day, your world does revolve around you when it comes to your health. I mentioned health earlier because if you think about it, I know I've battled neck and back challenges over the course of my adult life and I've gone through periods where I had excruciating, I mean, excruciating neck pain. I have tremendous empathy for anybody that deals with unsolicited pain in the neck. Let's say not your team members, but the pain in the neck where I remember waking up and getting ready to go speak, do a keynote or sometimes all day training when I was a road warrior in the early days of building blue collar and just rolling over into some random hotel and sitting on the side of the bed in tears because I did not know how I was going to find the gumption to go on for the day. And you know, I've got a pretty high pain tolerance and yet I was just deflated and not sleeping. And guess what? That did revolve around me. I would get done with a gig and run to the chiropractor, random city, look ahead, have the lovely Christy doing research during the day to find where I could go, try to get an adjustment that is incredibly painful and challenging. And yet I'm a fool to think that that doesn't impact my world and certainly those around me. What about finances, my friend, when you think about finances, your world does revolve around you and your finances. And one of the things I want you to think about is how much of your time do you spend really thinking about money? What decisions do you make around money? I think about. I recently went to a phenomenal dinner. One of my favorite places on the planet is here in the Phoenix market. It's called Cafe Monarch. An unbelievable Michelin star chefs and different things like this. And you know, you get 6 to 8 to 12 course meals depending on how you want to do it. And we recently went with some friends of ours from Colorado and one of our best friends had recently beat breast cancer and she took a trip and came down here and we went to this incredible dinner and it was just not a thought. Like I didn't even care how much it cost. I didn't care what anybody ordered. That was just all about celebrating life because our health, our finances lined up. Now, I grew up wearing secondhand clothes. That wasn't always a reality. And I'm not saying that we go spend, you know, crazy money on dinners all the time. And as I say that, I don't have to apologize for it if I've created enough value in the world that I can eat where I want to eat now. Right? And the same is true for you. And I just want you to realize and start honoring your own truth that it's okay that your world revolves around you. Now, I'm not talking about self centering and saying that, you know, the only thing that matters. That's, let's get clear, not saying the only thing that matters is you and your world. What I'm saying is realize that your reality is built around, like I said, focus, desires, beliefs, fears, goals, health, finances, the things that really matter to you, that does matter. Now, as a leader, we must be mindful that the same is true for our team. Any direct reports that you have any people within the organization that perhaps they don't directly report to you, but they are on your team, Guess what? Their world revolves around them. And that's where the disconnect happens. We think it's one or the other. It's happening across billions of people on the planet every single day. Everybody, including you and me, woke up this morning with our world revolving around us, and yet we tell ourselves these stories about, well, I'm, I'm a servant leader and I'm going to go do these things. Yes, of course you are. However, your reality to serve comes from what's going on inside. If I had some big blowout fight with the lovely Christie this morning, which fortunately I did not, I'm just saying, like, if I had that as an issue this morning, that's going to impact the client work that I'm doing today, that's going to impact the podcast I'm recording for you here today. If I was worried about where I was going to scrape together the money to make my house payment, that is going to affect how I show up in the world. If I'm worried about what's going to happen when there's a pullback in the economy that is going to impact and influence me, and all of those are okay, just own what's yours and release what's not. But don't get frustrated when your team is revolving in their own world. When people don't see the world the way that you do, that's where frustration comes from. I believe that all pain, all disturbance begins with not allowing what is. Let me say that again. All pain, all disturbance begins from not allowing what is. What is, is right. There is going to be a recession, there is going to be a pandemic. There is going to be an administration change, There is going to be whatever Fill in the blank. It was that way from the beginning of time until the end of certain things happen. We create pain with the stories that we create around why it's happening to us. We get frustrated with, well, this is how I see the world. Why doesn't my team see it? Because their world is revolving around them. So if we would release and allow everything to just happen the way that it is supposed to, if you would trust in your process of your own life, really good things would happen and, and stop feeling guilt, shame, pain, resistance from realizing, like, yeah, you know what, it is important. My self care, my. My own individual rituals mean everything to me. I can't be a good husband. If Kenny Chapman doesn't get up and move his body in the morning and meditate in the morning and read positive information and listen to good information and set quality intentions every single day for how I'm going to show up, then I won't be able to exist as the best husband that I can, the best leader for my companies that I can, the best influencer and educator for you that I can. All of those things happen. Now, you're coming from the same place as you're listening today here. Whether you're in your car, whether you're at the gym, whether you're in between calls, if you're running calls, whatever it is, you have a reality in your own mind. And magic happens in business and life when these two intersect. Winning happens when your own reality intersects with your team's reality. When you bridge this gap, that's where suddenly amazing things happen in life. When I met the lovely Christy, she had her own reality and her world revolved around her. I had my own reality. My world revolved around me. As we put our union of marriage together, really magical things happen. Now, what usually happens all of a sudden, we go to codependent relationships. And I've got to make sure that she's happy if I'm going to be happy and she's going to worry nonstop that I'm happy or she's not going to be able to be happy and it turns into codependency. And I've worked a lot with my own personal coaches around how this shows up in businesses and in intimate relationships, in finances, in health, in beliefs, in fears. All these different things have codependent strains to them. So I want you to realize you can be codependent with a team member that reports to you. It's not healthy. I'm not advising it. Meaning that, man, if Jimmy goes out and crushes it today and sells a bunch, then I'm going to be happy. If Jimmy takes the training that I did and implements it immediately, then I'm going to feel fulfilled. I hope you'll leave me a rating or review based on this. I hope you'll Download the new 6 Dimensions of Change 2.0 that's now on Audible. I'd be honored if you would download that and give me some feedback. I'm getting great feedback on that book. I would love for that to happen, but I can't base my own happiness. I will base my market research if you email me and tell me. Please email me. Don't give me a rating that the book sucks. If you think the book sucks, just shoot me an email. No, I'm just playing. I. I know you'll enjoy the book because I'm getting so much great feedback. But I've got to listen to the marketplace. I've got to pay attention to what you say and listen to how you go about your world, interacting with my teachings, my beliefs, my influence. But I can't base my overall happiness on that. My world revolves around me. Your world revolves around you. Your team revolves around them. My team revolves around them. And. And so on it goes, my friend. And that is 100% okay. Your world does revolve around you and that's okay. Own it. Become your very best. Take care of yourself, take care of those around you, and incredible things happen. Please do. Go ahead and give me a rating. Give me a review here. Really want to grow this community. It doesn't happen without you. Just taking a quick moment. Click that 5 star review if you feel so inclined to. I would be very, very grateful. Make sure you download a copy of the six dimensions of change 2.0 on Audible iTunes, wherever you get your audio books. And until we talk, my friends, I'm Kenny Chapman, your host of leadership in a nutshell. Make it a better than fantastic week. I'll see you real soon. Thanks everybody. Sam.