58. Ritual vs. Routine

Foreign. Hey, my friend Kenny Chapman here, your host of leadership in a nutshell for home service professionals just like you. I love, love, love getting together. And Today on episode 58, we're talking about rituals and routines. And I don't know if you're like me at all, but I'm thinking you are because we both come from being leaders in the home service space. And I've kind of had a little blocker, if you will, that I kind over the last couple years between rituals and routines. And you know, I'm big on habit. I've taught and consulted and coached and spoke on habits for a large part of my career. And you know, Obviously in the six dimensions of change 2.0, if you don't have that book, there's a little plug. Make sure you get into that book. The change is an acronym in that book for clarity. Habit action. Never give up gratitude and enthusiasm. And in the h in that change acronym, we talk about habits and how to rewire them and different things. But until the last couple years, when I really dove deep into reprogramming the subconscious mind, did I really go into exploring routines and rituals and different things like that. And so today I just, I want you to just kind of take a step back. I might go a little bit deep with you, but I hope I'm just going to ask for forgiveness if this is a little much for you, and I don't think it is or you wouldn't be here with me. So, you know, I want to, you know, just embrace behavior change and your greatest self. And that's going to come from rewiring kind of some neuro associations in the brain. And so, you know, there's basically, we have habits that, you know, a large part of our lives, experts in studies and different things say up to 80, 85% of what you and I do on a daily basis is habitual. We don't even think about it. And then we move to routines. There are certain things that we kind of intentionally do over and over again and we kind of understand and utilize those as routines. And that's where I have a tendency to kind of get st and then from a routine where I really want us to focus our thoughts and energy and understanding today is around turning a routine into a ritual. And so when you think about these three and if you're writing down, just write habit, routine, ritual. So when we think about habits, I want you to realize that habits are tied to just automatic, like habits are just what you do without thinking. And so the main difference Between a habit and a routine is deliberate practice. So when we think about, you know, a routine has to be thought about. You know, for instance, if I've got a habit that, you know, every night I brush my teeth before I go to bed, you know, that's kind of a habit. But if I go to the gym on Monday, Wednesday and Friday, that's a routine. Even though I do both of them just, you know, without question, one of them is a little bit more deliberate practice. One of them has a little more thinking involved. I don't just automatically wake up and find myself at the gym on Monday, Wednesday and Friday. It's a routine. So there's a little more deliberate execution involved there. Then when we think about rituals, I want you to realize that the main difference between a routine and a ritual, so habits, automatic routine takes, you know, deliberate practice, then the ritual is really about attitude or meaning tied to it. Now, this is where the game changed for me personally. So I had always struggled with the practice of journaling. Like, when I say I struggled, I should say I never had a hard time starting journaling. I've started journaling practices, you know, 20 times in the last 15 years or 10 years or what, you know, like, oh, yeah, I'm going to start that. Go to a great workshop, seminar event, something. Listen to a podcast, watch a video. Oh, yeah, that works for all these people. I'm going to start that right? And as a routine, I could never stick to it because there was always something that would get in the way or it just wasn't. Maybe I didn't feel I was getting the understanding. Now that I coach people around journaling practices, now I understand there's lack of clarity. And we question, am I doing it right? What's the process I use? There's, you know, everybody's got all kinds of thoughts around journal practice. Today's podcast is not around that. I'm just sharing that. For me, when I journaled as a routine, I wasn't able to stick to it. When journaling became part of my daily ritual, I literally. Let me say that again. I literally have not missed a day since it became part of my ritual. And at the time, I'm recording this somewhere over a year and a half now, every single day, I journal, and it changes shape and form at times, but I don't miss it. Why? Because now it's tied to something bigger. It's how I have the attitude around my rituals, not my routines. And so I would also even challenge, you know, like, the thought, again, this is Kenny's podcast. So Kenny gets to do some things. I'll have guests on here eventually, but as for now, it's you and me, and I just want to be able to share and connect. I invest a lot in my own coaching, training, learning, education, and this is a platform where I just get to share some things that are on Kenny's mind on a weekly basis with you. And one of the things that's kind of hit me around routine is I almost have a negative connotation around routine. I almost feel like it's a blocker or closed a little bit like, oh, man. And it's probably my own mindset around, like, oh, the routine. I got to go to the gym. I don't really want to go to the gym, but I got to go to the gym. Oh, I. I've got to go do this. Oh, it's part of my routine. It's really fascinating. But when my coach first started opening me up to a true ritual process, the game changed. And I want to also create a caveat here and an understanding that, you know, I had a limiting belief that rituals to be spiritual or rituals had to be religious. And certainly religion and spirituality are very, very different things. There can be a component, they can be tied together, but independently they stand on their own as well. And so I'm not here to talk about spirituality or religion today, other than you can have rituals in your life that are not tied to spiritual or religious experience. And so when you start really understanding that a ritual just simply has a bigger meaning to you, it's the attitude of which you approach it now you can really start to realize and understand how does this work. And so when, you know, anytime we think about change models or changing human behavior, reprogramming the subconscious mind, different things like that. I would be ill advised not to speak about what's been called the habit loop. And so there's different variations of the habit loop, but I kind of feel like it's simple. I'm a simple guy. I like simple, simple solutions. I'm actually a simplifier in business and in life. I have a trade, a personality, a unique ability, a gift. My. My own genius is around taking complex things and breaking them down and simplifying them. Which is one of the reasons I like coaching high level entrepreneurs to remove complexity and rewire their brains to simplify what they're actually looking for and what they want to create in their lives. And so in the habit loop, I just simplify to say there's three things in a habit Loop. There's trigger, there's action, there's reward. And so if that's how it kind of creates that. Okay, well, you think about habits don't really care if things are good or bad. They just happen. Like when I was a drinker, I had a habit of drinking. It was bad for me, but I also realized there was a trigger. I had stress, there was an action, I had to drink, there was a reward. I felt better, Right? So even though it's destroying me mentally and physically, I did get benefit from that. And that's one of the things that you need to understand when you look at habits and you think, oh my gosh, why do I do this? I kick my own butt. I shouldn't do shame on me all these days. No, you get benefit from things. So realize that any habit, if you're doing it over and over again, there's a trigger that creates when you're going to do it. There's an action that you actually take, and then there's some sort of a reward that you get. So I want you to be mindful of that. Because there's another concept that we call habit stacking, where you can take a habit that you kind of just start doing and doing and then you can layer on something else. You know, some people will habit stack when it comes to, you know, morning routines, if you will. Like, I've got a client that'll brush their teeth in the morning and right. As soon as they get to that part in their day, maybe they've had some coffee and then they brush their teeth and immediately go into their workout clothes, their shoes, and they, they get on the treadmill and they walk or whatever. So it's like, now I'm habit stacking because as soon as I brush my teeth, my habituation knows now, oh, time to move a little bit, I'm going to work out a little bit, or whatever that is. Right? So I want you to think about where is this showing up? Because we also have habit stacking that can count against us. So if, you know, like to the analogy of if you kind of have a habit of getting home and sitting on the couch or getting home and you know, from. In my past life, get home, mix a drink, oh, sit down, talk to the lovely Christie, mix a drink, watch some tv or do something like you're stacking habits and you're just not aware of it. So the goal of creating change in your life and really understanding why some rituals don't stick, I should say why rituals stick and routines sometimes don't stick is the emotional component. And so when you look at your routines, make some conscious effort to really explore and decide. So when I decided to make self care my number one priority in my life, it used to be freedom. I valued freedom more than anything in the world. I now value my self care more than anything in the world. That includes my intimate relationships, that includes my finances, that includes my business, that includes my team. I value and honor my own self care. Self care first and foremost. Some people will say that's selfish. I say that selfless. I don't believe that I can give my very best if I'm not at my very best. And I can't be at my very best if I don't have a ritual to make sure that I'm continuing to unlock my very best. So I want you to think about that for yourself. What routines do you have that you're doing and maybe you fall off after a while, Maybe you do them for a little bit and you, like, most of us, like the results that we get. It's like, man, this feels good. What's the deal? Here's the thing. There's that kind of axis, if you will, where you get energy and then there's an awareness point. And so the routine you're consciously thinking about in order to make sure that it happens. But when you turn it into a ritual, you're kicking in that higher level of meaning of how you view it. And that's why I think rituals get tied to spirituality and religion more, because there's more meaning to it. If I have this religious, spiritual ritual, whatever it is for me and you, I'm just telling you, that's fine. Knock yourself out, do whatever you want to do. What I'm telling you is you do not have to have a religious component tied to a ritual, but you do have to have a higher meaning tied to it. And so that's where you really begin to set yourself free. Your life runs on habits already. You're consciously trying to change, improve, and reinforce some of those habits by having a routine. Isn't it maybe time to open yourself to a ritual? And maybe there's certain things that you do. You know, for me, it's my five M's in the morning. I recorded a podcast about that. I don't recall the episode off the top of my head. You can go back and find it or email us and we can find it. But the point of the context is about, you know, for me, I've got a morning ritual, and I call it a Ritual because it has massive meaning to me. And I get up and I move, and then I meditate, and then I do a mental download, and then I do a mental upload. And then I set my mental intent, intention for what the day is going to be. Those are five very simple things. It takes anywhere from 45 to 75 minutes, depending on what I'm doing. The ritual might shift, it might evolve, it might change a little bit based on the day, based on the schedule, based on the time zone, based on where I'm at, what I'm doing, what I have access to. But the fact of the matter is, nothing doesn't get hit when it comes to some form of movement, some form of meditation, some form of a mental download. For me, it's journaling, some form of a mental upload. For me, it's reading, listening to audible, watching positive information, studying whatever that is. And then I set my mental intention for what kind of a day I'm going to have, how I'm going to experience this amazing gift we call life experience. And boom, off we go. That actually, as I say, it could actually be considered spiritual, my friend. That's what it's all about. Challenge yourself. Why we want rituals over just routines. That's what it's all about. I'm Kenny Chapman, your host of Leadership in a Nutshell for Home Service Professionals. Yes, I'm talking about stuff that generally isn't talked about in home service. You're welcome. Or you could be frustrated. It's totally up to you. This is episode 58, ritual versus routine. Give us a like, give us a rating. Give us a review. Keep our content raising up until we talk. Make it a better than fantastic week, my friend. We'll see you, Sam.