72. The Dangerous Division - Us and Them Mentality

Foreign hey, my friend, welcome back to Leadership in a Nutshell, where we're cracking the code of the driven mind for home service companies and leaders just like you. And I'm just honored every time we get together. And today we're together for episode 72, the dangerous division us and them mentality. And this is a concept that's really resonated since I wrote my original version of the Six Dimensions of Change. If you haven't listened to that audiobook or want to read the hard copy, either one's fine. But I dropped the six dimensions of change 2.0 last year and it really was a new perspective on how I feel about the dimensions of change. And this us and them mentality I write about in that book because it's. It was a program that got instilled in me as a young child that I really carried through kind of grade school and high school, and then when I dropped out of college, I experienced it when I became a drug dealer and going to jail and then getting in the army and then getting into business. And you kind of see where I'm going is it just all kind of followed through each and every aspect of my life. And I wanted to share the concept in a little different light today and really help you as there's a lot of division in the world right now. It's not just in the United States and Canada, where our primary clients in Australia as well. I mean, we've got clients us, Canada and Australia. It's not just in our three major markets where we serve clients, but it's really all around the globe and there's a big division going on. And a lot of times we look at, oh, it's politics, it's this, it's that, it's religion, it's finance, you know, the haves and the have nots and the different types of things. And I want you to just think about your thinking. That's why I created this podcast. And I want you to just kind of take a moment each week and check in with yourself. Where I want you to think about the real dangerous division is your perception of us and them mentality. And what I mean by that is in business, it shows up with, well, I'm this type of a company, or I'm in this type of a market, or I'm this size of a business. And then there's them. And they are in this market, they're in this trade, they're in this area, they're in these zip codes, like whatever that might be. And it creates this unconscious division that you kind of have the chips that you have, you know, there's all kinds of limiting beliefs. I've committed my life to helping people rid themselves of unnecessary, limiting beliefs. And one of those is really alive and well around us and them. And it starts as children. And when we think about parents, peers, previous experience of instilling belief systems and indoctrination into how the world works and how we view society as a whole kind of grew up subscribing to us. And them and us were the people that wore secondhand clothes, and we couldn't go on vacation and we didn't go out to eat, and we bought used bicycles and couldn't have the clothes that were the, quote, clothes or the brand name. That was us. And that's okay. It just was what it was. The destructive part of the equation was them and the lack of confidence that comes from feeling that there is a separation at all. And so I was that kid. I couldn't afford the good clothes. And I, you know, bless my mom and her situation. After my folks split, I don't know still this day, I don't know how she put my sister and I through high school on six bucks an hour and all the things that she did. We had a home, we had food, like, everything was fine. But I didn't drive a Beamer when I turned 16, right. And whatever the case might be. And so I developed almost this animosity, I would say almost this wish I had it, but I really don't wish I had it, because they're bad people. You know what I'm saying? Give me a little head shake, even though we're not on video, right? And so I want you to think about how has that evolved and shown up now as an operator, as a business leader, and for some of you millionaires on the line, and you still feel like, well, yeah, but, you know, we're doing a million in revenue. Or I've got a million dollars in cash in the bank. But if I'm doing a million in revenue, I'm looking going, that person's doing 5 million in revenue. If I got a million in the bank, I'm going, yeah, but that person has 5 million in the bank. If I'm flying private now, I'm going, oh, well, now I look at, you know, this person doing that. I've got one of the wealthier people that I know lives in the Los Angele Angeles area in Brentwood, kind of down the street from where O.J. killed Nicole, or, I'm sorry, O.J. allegedly was involved in a bad situation. Like whatever, don't sue me over what I say on this podcast. But whatever. The reality is, lives right down the street from where that incident took place so many years ago. And very well to do, has done very well in many different industries. And now the contracting space and the kids to private school and all this and the incredible vacations in 20, 30, 50 grand on a vacation, not a big deal. But it was interesting when I was doing some life work with him and he said, yeah, what's hard for me is when we go on a ski trip, my friends, because he's got a lot of investment banker friends, they'll say, oh well, yeah, what time are you flying up? And he'll go, well, I think our flight leaves at 2:30 or something on Delta. And they're like, oh yeah, we're taking our jet. And it was like, oh man, I'm not successful because I don't have my own jet. I'm flying first class on Delta, but I don't have my own jet. And so it's one of those things where comparison mindset is really one of the roots of evil. It's a very destructive thing and very challenging thing both up and down. If I compare myself that I have more than others or better than others, if I compare myself that I have less than others or worse than others, there's just no point to it. We're all unique individuals here to live our life experience and we happen to do it through business. So on this podcast I blend the two and we talk about leadership in a nutshell. And it's really about you having a human experience. And so when I think about this client kind of reflecting on that and when I look look at my own situation and emotional regulation, as you become more financially secure, you think that will beget emotional regulation. It's not true. You're actually seeking emotional regulation. So therefore you seek financial independence or economic independence and then you think you'll be emotionally stable. It's not true. You got to find emotional regulation first and then no matter what your level is, you'll find those things. And I just wanted to talk to you today about. We look externally and if you watch the news, number one, be careful. But number two, it's like there's massive division that gets talked about. There's division at trade shows, there's division in education groups looking in the trades. That's why I don't consider any competitors. I happen to be the founder and CEO of the Blue Collar Success Group. I don't look at other trade organizations as competition or bad or whatever. They've got their purpose in the world, and we have ours. They have their clients, we have ours. Sometimes clients cross over. Sometimes clients use both. Oh, my gosh. Sometimes clients use multiple things. Whatever it is. I'm an abundance guy, and I understand that, but I was raised with, oh, if you're one of us, then you're not one of them. That's insanity. And there's all this stuff about, let's have more inclusion in the world, and yet we're creating more division. The reality is that people are not equal. We're not born equal. We have different sets of unique abilities, skill, understanding, and yet we're treating everybody as though we're equal. And it's not to say that there shouldn't be certain things that make sense in that way. What I'm saying is that you are a different individual than that person that might have the, oh, I want the jet. But do you want the life that that person created to have the jet? And that could be in us and them and go, well, wait a minute. See, here's the deal. Kenny Chapman subscribes to I want my cake and eat it too. And then I used to go, well, that's why I'm a fat kid. The fat kid gets the cake and he eats it, and then he's a fat kid. And then I went, well, wait a minute. I want my cake. I want to eat it. I want to be physically fit. I want to be spiritually sound. I want to be mindfully based. I want to have a loving guidance. I want, like, all of that. I want all of it. Right? I want an abundance mindset. I want to create jobs. I want to create unique ability situations for clients and lives and situations. Come on, man, why can't we do all that? Because we haven't said, yes, we can do that. Why? Because we don't believe we're worthy of that. Why? Because we think we're one of us. And when we think we're one of us, we define with the things that got us here. And what got you here won't get you there. And there is simply going to be the new here. At the time I'm recording this, I was literally on a call with my personal coach. I have group coaching that I'm involved in, like, where I get coached. I get coached as a group. I get coached individually. And I said to my coach this, and I'll just share this. I wasn't planning on sharing this with you, but you're on my podcast, so keep your seatbelt on. I told him, I said, you know, I just feel like with everything going on in the world right now, this is the greatest time in human experience to learn so much about ourselves, our consciousness level, our understanding of humanity. Like what's going. I feel like this is the greatest time ever. And then I followed that up and I said, you know what, if we were having this conversation 50 years ago, I think I would have said the exact same thing then. And when we're having this conversation 50 years from now, I believe that we'll be having the same conversation. I just feel that it's just right now, right now is the greatest time to learn about ourselves, to learn about humanity, to learn about communication, to learn about growth, to learn about the market, to learn about team, to learn about bringing more people into the trades, to learn about the broken higher education system and what that gift is for us. What does that mean? All it's just an amazing time to be alive. And you go, kenny, wait, there's going to be a downturn. Bitcoin's going to kill the dollar. I don't know what any of that stuff's going to take place, but I know that I'm not worried about it because I have self confidence and self belief that I'm going to continue to win and I'm going to continue to surround myself with winners as I continue to evolve. But if I think that I'm still this us of us and them, what it does is it disempowers. If I think there's us and then there's them, there's those next level of people, there' successful people, then that just creates an automatic unconscious division which disempowers me. I can't become who I'm here to become because I think I'm trying to become them. I'm not trying to become them. I'm trying to become more of me.

And that's true for you too, my friend.

What if you just lean into you deeper so you could be better, stronger, faster, more evolved, more aware, more understanding.

More compassionate with your team, with yourself.

With your budgeting, with your sales, with your marketing. What if you just lean into. You know, last week I talked about outgrowing your own capability. And you know, what if you're here to just become the best version of yourself that you can be, that's the key.

And that's where I'm spending my time. From leadership, from the books that I'm writing, the podcast that I'm sharing here with you. That's ultimately what it's about. So you're us and them. It comes from birth and how you're raised. Then it gets conditioned by society. We have clients that think this or that. You see it in your marketplace, oh, well, there's them. And some of the best things in the world are being able to get inside of those businesses. When I got to travel with the Les Browns of the world and get to do events with the Larry Wingetts of the world and some of the highest level speakers on the planet and get to see, oh, that's them, that's their world. And go, wait a minute, I'm one of them. I might not have the big stage that they have. I might not have as many people that they have, but I have an understanding of the way the world works.

And I just haven't committed my life to being a big stage speaker. I committed my life to the trades, to the blue collar space, to having conversations like this with you. That's where I've committed my life. And that's why this podcast continues to grow, which I would be super honored if you kicked a link from this to somebody that you know as we continue to grow. This is not about the blue collar success group. This is about the trades. This is about you growing as a leader. And so a lot of people listen that aren't in the trades because it's simply leadership perspective each week for you to ask yourself some deeper questions. But at the end of the day, the biggest division, the most dangerous division for yourself, for your company, for your relationships, for your family is an us and them mentality. That's the biggest danger that you want to be looking out for. There's no division necessary. You're a $2 million business becoming a 20 million doll. You're a $200,000 business becoming a $2 million business. It doesn't matter, because when you wake up, you will arrive and you will arrive as yourself at that moment. That's truly what it's all about. You are you. And your job in life is to become the very best version of you as a human, as a leader, and as the role that you continue to choose. That's what it's all about. I hope you feel my energy. I'm fired up. I love this stuff. I'd love to hear from you if this is resonating with you. Shoot. Shoot me an email. Kennyennychapman.com if there's a topic you want to hear about, please share this Please help us keep growing this community as I just speak truth from my heart and ask you questions to your heart. For you to uncover the next level of your own greatness. For you. This is episode 72, that Dangerous Division, us and them mentality. I'm your host, Kenny Chapman. Until we talk, make it a better than fantastic week. I'll see you real soon. Thanks everybo. It.