85. How Meditation Changed My Life And It Can Yours Too

Hey, my friend Kenny Chapman here, your host of Leadership In a Nutshell, where we're cracking that code of the Driven mind. I want to thank you for being back with me. This is episode 85, and I've got to say, I know I come to you a lot and say I'm stoked about today's episode, but this is very near and dear to my heart, and I want to honor you for showing up today, and I want you to honor yourself, to just open your mind for the next little bit here together. I'm not even going to pay attention to how long I go today, because I'm just going to speak to you from the heart, if that's okay with you. And if it's not okay with you, I guess you can cut it off. But please don't cut it off, because today's episode, I'm calling How Meditation Changed My Life. And it can yours, too. Because I've had a lot of people ask me in the last couple of years, like, what's changed with you? What are you doing different? Your skin tone is. Has, like, you know, perked up, or the pigments in your skin. Are you using one of those products on TV or, you know, whatever. I'm like, no, I'm getting wrinkles like everybody else, but I'm just. I'm living in a state of bliss. I live in a heightened level of awareness. I'm happier than I've ever been. I'm more fulfilled than I've ever been. I love my life. I love my business. I love my team. I love my spouse. I love my family. And you might go, oh, Kenny, that's. You're just, you know, you're the guru, and now you're giving us a line and some of that. And I get that. I understand that. I used to feel that way, too. Like, anytime I heard somebody say that, it's like, oh, what are you trying to sell me? Guess what? I'm not selling you anything on this podcast. Or maybe I am, because I'm selling you on a better life, on a better, you know, level of peace. A place where you can live in ease, joy, and peace. And that's truly my goal for you. And, yes, we're on a leadership podcast. Yes, this has a business context, but there's nothing more important to your business or your leadership ability than your mindset, than how you frame things, the framework of decision making, the framework of problem solving, how you show up each and every day. And I'm going to talk to you today a little bit about my meditation journey and how it completely has, like I would say, radically changed my life. I'm a completely different person in the Christian world. It's called born again. I feel like I am a born again individual from a perspective of I don't have the same mind that I used to have. I don't think the same thoughts that I used to have. I don't have the same addiction to suffering that I used to have. I don't bring pain into my life when it's unnecessary like I used to. And I'm not saying that all of these things are directly tied to my meditation practice, but I will tell you, it's one of the key things that changed my life. And so for me, I made self care a number one priority. And as some of you know, I made a decision to get sober. I broke some addictions that I had with drugs and alcohol that I was very functioning. And not only was I functioning, I was very high level functioning. And most people didn't even know that I had a challenge or had an issue or whatsoever. But I did. And my divine connection was not growing and it was interrupted and it was time for me to change that game. I'm not getting on here telling you you got to quit drinking or quit smoking weed or whatever your choices are, whatever that is. I'm just sharing journey. And when I did that, I also began a journal practice every single day. And I also began meditating every single day. And I do not miss meditation, meaning that I don't miss a session. Now, as I say that I want, the reason I'm sharing my journey is because I'm not a meditation expert. Let's be clear. I'm a life experience expert. I help people design their best life and then help them uncover the confidence that is within them to say yes to their greatest self. And that's what I want to do here with you on this podcast. And that's what I want you to really feel with our time together today. And I just wanted to share, like meditation, you cannot take it away from me when I say I don't miss it. I would miss it tremendously if I missed a session. Right? So it's a non negotiable when we talk about in the business world, right? Accountability. I have the highest level of accountability to myself for this practice because it's changed my life as much as anything ever has. And I've done a lot of drugs and alcohol in my life. I've changed state in all kinds of different ways. I've been A thrill seeker. I've been a calm expert. I've like done everything to heighten my adrenaline, to calming it down as much as possible. And nothing has changed my life consistently. Now let me caveat here and remind you that, you know, this is my journey. Everybody's journey is different. I also want you to know that I've started meditation practices a thousand times in my life and they didn't work and I didn't stay with it. And so, okay, maybe a thousand is a lot. Maybe 927 times I've started. No, I'm just playing. But here's the reality. I'm not trying to embellish, but it's been a bunch, my friend. There's been a ton of times I've been like, okay, I'm going to start meditating, watch something on YouTube, I go to a seminar, I go to a workshop, I do a yoga retreat, whatever it is like, oh my gosh, yeah, I've got to meditate. I want to do this. And nothing changed my life until I made meditation part of my self care ritual. My ritual that I will not give up for anyone or anything. I won't give it up for the leaders of my businesses, I won't give it up for my spouse, I won't give it up for any extended family. This is between me and the divine and that's what it's all about. And so I create some space for me to connect each and every day to the greatest version of myself that I have available. I tried and tried and tried and it was not easy. So be easy with yourself if you've tried a bunch of different times like I had in the past and it just didn't work. And maybe you went a few days and I work with clients that have gone a few days and then they get off track and then, okay, maybe I'll try three days a week or maybe I'll try something different. Maybe I'll do it when I'm stressed out, whatever it is. What I know is creating a ritual rather than even a routine. And I've talked to you in the past a little bit. Routines are habitual. Rituals have a deeper need to them, a deeper connection. They're deeper than that. Right. So I'm just asking you to really be mindful of what you're looking for. So first off is like, why do you want to meditate? For me, it became a non negotiable because I was in the process of creating sobriety in my life. I was fixing and rewiring. So you know, one of the things in the addiction world that we talk about is the fact that if you're, say you're drinking, if you're drinking, then when you, you know, quitting drinking is 100% of recovery until you quit drinking. And once you quit drinking, then it's only 10% of recovery because now you've got to go to work on the mind and everything that was actually creating that, that behavior that you became addicted to. You didn't become addicted to drinking, you didn't become addicted to gambling. You became addicted to the emotion and the feeling and the chemical charge that that gave you meaning that it's tied. Every addiction is preceded by an emotional addiction. It's something that I'm looking for, right? And so is it fair to say that I'm addicted to meditation now? I don't know. Maybe I've got an addictive mindset. I've got kind of what psychologists and science would say that I have these traits about my personality. My guess is that you might have a lot of those too. That's why you're tuning in. It's why you connect with me and I connect with you. Because we're like minded, we have driven minds. It's incredibly challenging to slow down and shut down this mind. And so when we go to meditate, it's harder than ever because all of a sudden all this stuff is going on. And I want you to realize there's plenty of studies that have been done where people say, my gosh, my anxiety actually got worse when I started meditating. And the reality is, no, your anxiety has been there all along. It feels like it got worse because now you're creating space, you're slowing down, you're observing it. And that's why it feels like your anxiety is worse, because you started meditating. The meditation just slowed down and exposed something that was already going on. Where most people live largely unconscious, they're run by. All of us get run by our subconscious mind. 90% of what you and I do today will be out of habit. What I've decided to commit my life to is creating the habits that serve me first and foremost. And when I am served at the highest level, then I'm able to serve those around me at the highest level. And that's what I encourage you to really explore with me in this conversation today. And so, yes, I'm a huge fan. And yeah, I'm going to give you a few tips here before we get off the line today of a few things to think about. Kind of Five things to keep in mind. But I said already just one of the things to be mindful of. It's not one of the five, so just hang on. But get a piece of paper. If you're not taking notes already, you might want to take a couple of notes, and I'll tell you now I am. Next week, I'm going to drop two meditations for you that I recorded myself a while back. Blue Collar had our acceleration event, and I did a live guided meditation for the entire audience from the stage. And I was blown away by the requests of people asking me if I would do more of that, if I would record some stuff for them. So I'm gonna go ahead and drop two on you next week and give you a couple different options of things to do. And if I get good feedback from that and people want more of it, I'm not here to do it just to do it. I'm here to do it if it creates value for you in your life. Okay, so hit that like button, hit the subscribe button, make sure that you're playing along with us, and I'll drop a couple for you to actually do. This week is just about positioning your and thinking about how this goes. Now, some of you might be going, Kenny, when I'm listening to this, this is toward the end of the year, I'm busy. I got too much going on. I got to close the year strong. I got to think about my budget. I got to do. That's cool. All that stuff is super important. I'm telling you, it will operate better if you'll take a few minutes each and every day, if not a couple times a day. 100% transparency. Very seldom do I meditate more than once in a day. I'm sure I would be even more blissful if I did more, you know, more often. Sometimes I'll do one in the morning and one in the evening before I go to bed. Very often, if I wake up in the night, can I get a head nod? You ever wake up in the night and your mind's racing, you can't go back to sleep? I always will do some form of a sleep or relaxation meditation in the middle of the night when that happens to me, and I'll go back to sleep. For 40 some years of my life, I would wake up and the treadmill would be racing and different things. Didn't know why I can't shut it down. I kind of shut it. Okay, maybe I'll put a journal next to my bed or a notebook next to my Bed, Maybe I'll write something down. And nothing has helped me more than doing a relaxation in the middle of the night. So as I say that I want you to be easy with yourself and start, you know, start small. We'll talk about that in a minute. But I want you to realize that meditation is powerful. For me, this is all. None of what I'm talking about is like, hey, here's the footnote and here's where I got this information. I'm speaking from my heart to you as a driven minded entrepreneur who has used meditation as a tool that has completely transformed my reality. I have transcended the pain that I live with on a daily basis, both mentally and physically. There was a time a few years back when I could barely get out of bed. I was on the road a ton doing trainings and ride alongs and I was in so much pain I was going to the joint. No, not that kind of joint. Well, maybe that kind of joint some too. But there's a franchise of chiropractors called the Joint and I was traveling around the country and I would go after I did ride alongs and try. That was all mental that was manifesting in my body. I know this now. Now I definitely, I've got a body work guy that if I get jammed up or twisted or I pull something, I'll go see somebody. But most physical pain comes from mental trauma that is unresolved. Meditation helps with that. So I want you to just realize it's okay for you to enjoy a few minutes of self care every day. And I've talked in the past about my ritual. Today I'm just talking about meditation. It's an opportunity for you to charge your batteries. Take a couple minutes. I never miss in the morning. Sometimes I will in the evening. As I mentioned, it is absolutely non negotiable that I do something in the morning. For me, my minimum is now 10 minutes. Meaning, okay, if a lovely Christy and I are traveling and we've got to be at the airport at 4:30, that means, you know, a 3 o' clock alarm. Then if I'm getting up at 3 in the morning to go travel or do something, I'll probably just do a 10 minute meditation that day. However, if I'm traveling, then a lot of times I'll do another meditation once I'm on the airplane. Because there's nothing better than throwing in some noise, canceling AirPods and flying across the friendly skies with some meditation going on while everybody else is jammed up around you and tripping out on, on the pain of the day. So nonetheless, I personally like to do at least 10 minutes. I average between 15 to 25 most days. I would say most of the time around the 20 to 25 minute mark. I do an hour once in a while. A few times a month, I'll do 60 to 75 minutes when I just feel really like going deep and getting in that. Now, again, I'm not an expert here. I'm not saying I'm an expert. I'm sharing my own truth and how much has changed my life. Because there was a time I thought I had to do 60 minutes every day. And like some of these quote gurus and some different things like that. But some of the stuff that has been proven, I say I'm not an expert, but I can read and I can study. And there's all kinds of studies that show that a meditation practice actually reduces depression, it reduces anxiety, it acts like an antidepressant. Like, do you want to pop a pill or do you want to take 10, 15 minutes a day for yourself? I know what I want to choose. And it can literally reduce those things in your mind and your body and your spirit of anxiety. My fear, my fight or flight. I used to just be in a struggle all day, every day. I would have tightness in my chest. And that's why I turned to drugs and alcohol to try to mellow this out. I was performing at a high level, so I just figured, this is the crazy driven brain. I've got to use this to help slow me down. Other people don't understand. Other people aren't wired. There's nobody in my family that has this gene. And you know, Jay Z said it's the gift and the curse in one of his albums, right? And it's like, okay, it's a gift because I live a high level life. It's a curse because I'm never content, I'm never happy, I'm never fulfilled, I'm always struggling and it's all happening unconsciously. Studies in meditation show that it actually increases immunity. So a lot of people have gotten very sick, and I'm not minimizing any of that. But if you can put anything in your corner to help with your immunity, it's in your mind where you can slow things down. So be mindful of this. It's been shown that it helps calm your nerves, help control anger. Ever notice, you know, you fly off the handle or get upset? You know, I've worked with people that get road rage and just lose their mind over Somebody cutting them off, it's a pain body at play. It's an ego based reaction. It's okay. But the more you meditate, the more you chill out, the more you just don't care. You just whatever that person has something going on today there's an opportunity to just really get clarity of your thoughts. And one of the things that isn't talked about a lot that I want to touch on with you here today is the fact that you get an opportunity to build some discipline. And I think sometimes that's overlooked. You and I were taught for so long and then we subscribed to the book of success. That meant struggle and meant running like crazy and meant no fulfillment and meant striving and meant the next goal and go and all that type of stuff. And we were disciplined around certain things. I got to have my income statement by the 10th and it's nice when I get it by the 8th. And depending on how the weekend or a holiday, I'm going to have it on the 8th. And that's a discipline. And there's a discipline around when we have meetings and how we do trainings and all these, those are disciplines. But what I want to encourage you to think about is disciplines in your self care, disciplines in your personal life. And as you build a meditation practice and whatever works for you. It might be twice a week, it might be just on the weekends. I'm just sharing that I started every day and just stuck with every day. Once I committed to it, I'll say I started every day a zillion times and it didn't work. So I'm asking you to explore what might work best for you and just build a discipline out of it. Be easy with yourself. So here's some action items that I want you to think about for next week when we get together. And I'm going to give you two different options. I'll drop them both on the same day. Different people resonate with different things and then give me some feedback. Feel free to shoot me an email@kennykennychapman.com and give me any feedback or a meditation you want to have. Do you want them longer? Do you want them shorter? Do you want, you know, whatever that looks like. Let me know and I'll compile all the information and we'll kind of go from there. So, five things to think about for next week when you have an opportunity to do a little meditating with me. So number one, start small, do five to 10 minutes. I'm going to drop one that's around 10 minutes. I'm going to Drop another one. That's around 15 minutes for you. Okay, but just start small, just five to 10 minutes and begin developing the habit. Because there's not a single thing, nobody listening today can convince me that you don't have five to ten minutes a day. You do. You use it all kinds of different ways. Now, hey, wait a minute. Stop. Stop squirreling. Don't be looking at your phone while you're listening to me right now. Like you have five to ten minutes all the time doing other things. Right. So start small with that. Number two is just get comfortable and be comfortable. You find people that are super strict and stringent. And again, you know, I'm going to say I'm not some licensed therapist that says this is. Yes, there are certain studies that show if you sit in a lotus position and open your spine in a certain way, then the blood flows better. And there's different, I followed all kinds of different teachers with different kinds of ways is I know that you're wired similar to me and I would encourage you just do something is better than perfection. There's only progress. There's no perfection. So just get comfortable. I lay down a lot and a lot of people that are like super, you know, structured meditators are like, no, you have to sit on a. I've got a meditation pillow. I hardly ever use it. I do use it some, but my legs will go to sleep and different things. And you go, well, that's part of the process. Can he. Yeah, exactly, exactly. I'm here to win. And what I know is doing it and doing it comfortably is winning for me more than doing it and doing it structurally. In another six months, six years, 60 years, I don't know, I might change my thought and go, you know what? When I started doing it in cross legged and sitting up with my eyes slightly open, everything changed. I'll get back to you on that because right now I lay down a lot. I sit a lot. Sometimes I'll have my feet flat on the floor. Sometimes I'll sit with my legs crossed in a chair in the living room. Sometimes I do it in our, I call it our Zen room, our studio at the house, like whatever works for you. And a lot of times I'll lay right in the bed next to the lovely Christy and we'll do a meditation together right there. Just be comfortable. Now then, eyes already mentioned, there's a lot of schools of thought around your eyes. Either have your eyes open or have them closed. Either one's okay. And I'll remind you of that as we head into the meditations next week. But, you know, just either one eyes open or closed. There's different schools of thought on what works. I encourage you. Just do what works for you. For me, I like to have my eyes closed. It helps me shut out any additional sensory stuff going on, even though I generally do it in. In a dark space or in a darker room, it doesn't matter. I just prefer to have my eyes closed. If opening them for you, then just kind of allow them to slightly close and then just, you know, gaze in at a certain point, like just a few feet in front of you, a little bit down or wherever that is. Or pick a spot on the ceiling if you're laying down. I would encourage you maybe try it with your eyes closed. The fourth thing I want you to think about is just be an observer. Just allow the experience to take place, because why I never stuck with meditating. One of the reasons I'll say why I was never able to stick with meditation practice in the past is I was being too much of a perfectionist. I thought I had to be able to sit there with a quiet mind and never have a thought for 15, 20, 25, 35, 45 minutes. It's just simply not true. Thoughts are going to come in. It's the way the brain's wired, and that's okay. Just to see them, observe them. I think I have weight. Well, I don't think. I know I have way less thoughts come in and try to take me over than I used to, but it happens. I meditate every single day. And sometimes I'll get up off the bed or I'll get up off the mat and go, whoo, that was tough today. And then I get right back on it tomorrow. A lot of people will meditate and go, man, that was tough today. And then they'll skip. And that's why you don't build the ritual, because you get out of it. Just be an observer of your mind and allow it to come in. And like, my gosh, I'm thinking a lot about that podcast that Kenny recorded right now, and I. Man, my mind's just jumping. That's okay. Just observe it and then just let it go. Just allow it. Allow it to wander and then bring it on back. And that's why a lot of meditation will be focused on breath. The ones I'm going to do for you, I won't do too much in breath. I'll do a little bit in the beginning. I don't focus too much on breath because I want to be able to function throughout the day. I live a very busy, very driven life. I want to be able to where I get, where I can live, where I am now, where I'm in bliss. Regardless of what's happening outside, there's challenges, there's deadlines, there's structure, there's this or that with team members and family members, and that's okay. So I just choose to not go too deep with okay, just breath. And then I'll mix it up with different instructors in different process. Just observe the mind, let it wander, and then bring it on back. It's okay. It's okay. And the last thing is keep it up and keep practicing. See, that's one of the things that I like about yoga and I like about meditation is it's generally referred to as a practice. And that's what I would encourage you is just build a practice for you. And it's a practice. If it's once a week, then you have a weekly practice. If it's every few days, it's a every few days practice. If it's daily like mine is, I have a daily meditation practice, but it's still a practice, my friends. And that's why sometimes I do better. You know, call it playing. Like in sports. I practice for the game and then I have the game. Well, in meditation, there is no game. It's all practice. And sometimes I practice better than others. And just remember, you play like you practice, right? So if you want to slow down your driven mind and you want to embrace attempting meditation, perhaps again, or maybe you were taught that it's an eastern crazy philosophy and, you know, different things and whatever that is for you, I just want you to be easy with yourself. If you're very religious and, and you come from a faith where you practice a lot of prayer, you utilize prayer. It's simply a form of prayer meditation. Call it, you know, call it what you want. It's creating space for you, and that's what I would encourage you. So again next week, I'm gonna drop you a couple different options. I'll do a little short intro, and then we'll go 10 or 15 minutes. I'll try to keep one of them to 10. I'll keep the other one around 15 and get rolling with me, and then we'll circle back after that and see how you did, and then we'll keep on rocking with this podcast. So I want to honor your truth for sticking with me today for exploring this process meditations changed my life as much as anything that I'm aware of and it can yours too. And it's a limiting belief to think that you can't develop some mind space to create more peace, happiness, fulfillment and ultimately bliss in your life. I'm a walking example of it. I'm not perfect. I don't have it all figured out, but I'm happier, healthier, have more wisdom, have more peacefulness. I live in a state of bliss that I never even imagined and I tried to create it chemically and this is unbelievable to have in my life in such an incredible way. And I credit meditation for a lot of that. So until we talk, my friend, make it a better than fantastic week. Please give me a like, give me a rate, give me a review if you feel so inclined. It would really help us get our message out there. But make it a better than fantastic week and I'll see you next time and we'll do some meditation together. Thank you. Cheers, Sam.