95. Business Vulnerability Part 3 - Internal Exposure

Foreign. Hey my friend, welcome back to leadership in a nutshell where we're cracking the code of the driven mind. I'm super pumped to be with you here for episode 95. This is business vulnerability part three. I've done a three part series for you and this is part three where we're going to discuss internal exposure. So vulnerability very big. Part One we talked about overall exposure. Part we talked about external exposure. And today, wrapping up our series, we're gonna talk about internal exposure. And the fact of the matter is that this is a very legit topic. It's something that I think, I think it drives society. It's a much bigger than, quote, just a business conversation or challenge or overarching kind of perspective that people have. It's tied to self image. I want to remind us of that. The level of vulnerability that you feel, I won't say direct proportion, but it is directly tied to your own level of self image or self esteem. Remember, self image and confidence are two different things. Confidence and I bring this up because we're talking about vulnerability internally today. And we've got to remember that confidence is largely about skill. And so I can be very confident as a salesperson, be very confident as an installer, I can be very confident as a trainer, I can be confident as a keynote speaker. But my self image and my self esteem has very different levels of depth compared to that. So you know, you, you look at one of the more recent examples that we saw was the pain and tragedy that Tiger woods went through in his situation where he just, you know, unraveled and had all the affairs and all the challeng challenges and the infidelity and the different things. And what we got to see from a psychology standpoint was an individual that was incredibly confident. He's arguably the most confident golfer of all time. He won many championships and so many tournaments based on his mental strength and his confidence on the golf course. But it didn't directly tie to his self image as a human being, as a person, as his own self worth of how he saw himself in the overall scope of the world and the planet. And I want to be very mindful of that in business. So whether you're feeling some vulnerability because of the market, whether you're feeling vulnerability because of price pressure, because of supply issues, because of hiring and recruiting and training and retention and marketing and finance and whatever those are, I want us to turn back today and focus on the internal control that we have. And I'm going to talk in a moment about in charge or in control. And those are very different things. But before we get there, I want to ask you a question of certainty and uncertainty. How certain are you of, let's say, your budget this year? What is your level of certainty? Okay. And then what is your level of uncertainty? And it could just be the, you know, the reciprocal of that. It could be, okay, I'm 80% confident we're going to hit budget. Okay, cool. So that means I'm 20% uncertain of how we're going to do it. Now I want you to think about certain things though too, is where are you exploring and allowing uncertainty? So, you know, I've also got clients and I work with people that could say I have 100% uncertainty that we're going to hit the budget this year. And I also have 100% certainty that we're gonna do everything in our power and we're going to roll with the punches. We're gonna learn what we need to learn. We're going to elevate our consciousness, we're gonna train, we're gonna coach, we're gonna ask questions. We're going to do everything we can. So what I want you to start realizing is that when we say things are certain, there's a finite to that. And you know, and I recorded an earlier episode around certainty and uncertainty. So you might go back and listen to that podcast again and remind yourself deep into it today. But it's incredibly important because when we start becoming too certain, we become fixed in our thinking and we can get exposed in different ways because we're. We're ignorant to reality and all the different things going on. So I'm 100% uncertain if we're gonna hit the budget. And I'm 100% certain we're gonna do everything in our power to make that happen. With that comes some confidence. With that comes from a different level of truth. And I have a self image now. I didn't always, as a matter of fact, before I got sober, before I handled some of the addictions that I had, I was an incredibly confident individual. I ran successful companies. I was one of the top speakers in the home service space. I had authored a couple of books at the time. I was very confident externally, but I was ate up inside. I had massive pain and I still had some trauma that I hadn't dealt with from, from even from childhood, from my father's death, some different things that I just hadn't reconciled yet. And I had to go through some deep work to do some healing. And through that, you'll now See that I'm more vulnerable than I've ever been. At the acceleration event that blue collar did back in October, I did a piece on vulnerable leadership. If you're a blue collar member and you were there, you might remember I went pretty deep on that and I had you do a self awareness assessment tool that I used to see am I telling my myself the truth here or am I creating stories around what reality is? And we have this negative connotation in the world around being vulnerable and to the point of think about social media and online. I'm not here to bash social media. I'm just here to say that there's a lot of falsity that takes place and we have different filters we can put on our faces. I don't want to be vulnerable to.

How I really look.

Why it's tied to self image. And so I want you to think about your level of certainty and your levels of uncertainty. Then I want to, I want to ask you this question. Are you in charge or are you in control of what happens in the business big time, tied to vulnerability? If I think about what my vulnerability is and what can happen and all the different things we talked about in the last two episodes, I want you to think about, are you in charge or in control? I want you to realize it's okay to not be in control. As a matter of fact, in my company, I'm not in control at all. I'm not in control of anything that's going on because I don't have a day to day operational role. I'm the CEO, I'm the founder, I'm engaged in the leadership team. I don't miss any team meetings. We do team social hours. Yeah, we do virtual social hours where people would get together for cocktails. We're not all in the same market, so we get together for cocktails. For those that drink during certain time once a month we have a happy hour together and the team in Arizona gets to have a cocktail a little earlier in the day than the people on the East Coast. Right. But the reality is that, you know, that comes from being vulnerable and being connected. And I believe that I'm in charge of this business. I'm not in control of this business. And so would you rather be in charge or would you rather be in control? See, you cannot run a company with quality who's. And I say who's because I believe, you know, my mentor Dan Sullivan taught me about who before how and then I added the but after why. So I believe your life and your and your company really starts taking shape and taking hold when you start asking who. Before I ask how, but after I ask why. Because I want to know why do I want to do something? Why do I want to build this coaching and training organization? Why do I want to influence and impact so many lives? Once I have clarity there, then I go, well, how am I going to do it? No, I spend too much time trying to figure out the how. I went and said, well, who am I going to build around me? Who am I going to get to help me build this? Who am I going to get that knows more about the how than I do? So I can stay focused on what my unique genius is in the world and stay focused on my own unfair advantage When I'm in my zone, when I'm asking the right questions, whether I'm podcasting or having a one on one coaching session or doing a training at one of our live events, doing an online mastermind call, whatever the case might be, that's where I belong. I don't need to be in control. As a matter of fact, you're probably not in control of things that you might think think you are in control of. I used to think I was in control of my schedule. And then we had this little thing called COVID 19 that happened and all of a sudden I was not in any way, shape or form in control of my schedule. I was completely in charge of what I thought when things happened, how I handled the uncertainty of the pandemic, all those different types of things. So when you think about vulnerability and once we've gone through overall exposure, we've gone through external exposure now today. Let me ask you this too. Are you available now? Oh, here he goes. Now Kenny's gonna go down this emotional track and talk all psychological. Yeah, I am gonna talk about emotion a little bit. Because if you're not mentally available, if you're not emotionally available to yourself or those around you, and I'll say your loved ones, you know, many of us were taught to squash our feelings. Many of us were taught, you know, boys don't cry and different crap that we've been fed by people doing the best they can to guide us in our lives and help pain as much as possible. But the reality is, is that that doesn't serve us. And I, and I want you to realize that the more available you are in emotion, in context, in communication. So if I'm emotionally available to my team, then I can really have some amazing things happen. I have some great one on one conversations with Team members in my organization. I have some great team conversations with team members in my organization because I'm emotionally available. I don't have judgment. I just said we have happy hour. I haven't drank for years now, but I jump on and the lovely Christy and I grab a green tea or something and. And we're laughing and joking and having a great time. Because I'm emotionally available. I don't have judgment for what anybody else is doing. Everybody's here doing their own thing, having their own life experience. I'm grateful that at blue collar I'm able to provide a platform for unique and crazy, I might add, individuals to all come together and play the game of life together in a professional capacity. So are you available to your team emotionally? Because if you're trying to be on a pedestal, if you're trying to act like everything's perfect when it's not, if you're trying to be something through a social media lens and not count your flaws as blessings, then they're not going to resonate with you at the highest level. So challenge that, my friend. It ties to perfection and progress. You've heard me say it many times. You'll hear me say it many times again. It's about progress, not perfection. It's always about progress. It's about the focus of just moving things forward. One of my mentors, John ward, taught me that success by the inch is a cinch. And that always hit me, and I just was like, yeah, if we can move forward a little bit each day and being okay. I used to say, we're perfectly imperfect. There's no such thing as imperfection. There's only perfection. But when I say that, I have to be careful because now people think, well, perfect is whatever the perfect body type is, whatever the perfect mind is. No, we're perfect exactly how we are, exactly where we are doing exactly what we're doing right now. And right now, this is perfection, my friend. We get to share some energy through an incredible technology where I get to have a conversation with you to help you ask yourself some questions, to challenge yourself at a deeper level, to resonate on where are you being vulnerable and where are you not giving yourself enough credit? In the fear of being vulnerable and the fear of being truthful. And I want you to speak truth. And here's the other thing. When it comes to being vulnerable, truth changes you. Oh, no, Kenny, hang on. Wait a minute. Yes, there are universal laws. Absolutely. In my newest book, the blue collar leadership laws, there's definite laws in the universe. And I've got seven laws in leadership that govern the home service space, and I'm definitely all about certain laws that. That exist and may not change. But I'm going to tell you right now that truth changes. And the reason that I say that is we can take something as, you know, like Santa Clause. Okay, well, there was a time when Santa Claus was taught to me as a truth. And then there was a time that I realized that maybe I needed to challenge that truth. There was a time that you and I were both taught that Mars was a planet. And then there was a time now that technology has evolved and said that, no, there's different classifications for the mass that Mars is. Mars isn't actually a planet. So now it's no longer true. Well, what else has changed where you're afraid of it? You've heard me on this podcast. I mean, we're 95 episodes in now. My truth has evolved and changed since.

I started podcasting with you 95 weeks ago.

It's a reality.

That's what happens in life as you elevate consciousness, you unlock new doors of truth.

And there's. Many people are afraid of that. And for me, you know, everything I do gets recorded. So. So, you know, I've got speeches and keynotes that I did 10, 12, 15 years ago before I got sober, when I had a different view of the.

World and I said, oh, you had to be this way. And I jump on tables, and I'm.

Not going to apologize for anything that I did or said unless I offended somebody.

I didn't mean to offend you, so.

I'm sorry that you got offended, But I'm not apologizing for my behavior or.

My actions because it was my truth at the time. And I'm a human being that makes mistakes. And as I make mistakes, I learn things because it. It takes experiences to make what the world calls mistakes.

But the fact is, it takes a life experience to be able to make.

What the world calls a mistake. I almost said it again, not sure why I can't say that word.

Because I don't believe in mistakes.

That's why I can't say that word. Who am I kidding? I don't believe in mistakes. I only believe in life experience.

Think about that.

The universe won't even let me say the word correctly because there's no such thing. There's only life experience. And I believe wholeheartedly in that. And as I have more life experience, my truth evolves because my consciousness elevates and I learn more things and I Have more life experience, and then that begins to change.

And when you start speaking your truth, knowing full well that it may change, people eat that up. People are going to love that. People resonate with that. The more truth you speak, the more people want to be around you, the stronger your leadership becomes, the stronger your influence becomes. So whether you're in sales or different types of leadership or coaching roles, as you speak more truth, and when you don't know and you tell people you don't know, people eat that shit up. My friends, they love it. They're like, oh, my gosh, somebody's finally telling me the truth. Because you turn on the news and it's false, and you turn on social media and it's false, and you go to certain organizations and it's. That's false. I want you to speak truth knowing.

That your truth may change.

There was a time that I believe running a small business was the easiest thing in the world, and running a big business was the most difficult thing in the world. Then I met Keith Cunningham. And Keith Cunningham taught me that running a small business is the most difficult thing in the world, and running a big business is the easiest thing in the world. And now my truth has shifted around that, and I get to continue to evolve and shift. Where else do you see things that I used to subscribe to? The Buddha was quoted as saying that life is suffering and different things. And I challenged a coach that I had, and I don't believe that. I don't believe life is suffering. And my coach said, well, you got to understand the context of languaging. And I'm not a Buddhist. I'm just saying that I subscribe to all kinds of different teachings. I don't care what the religious packaging is. If something has value. And I'm not trying to offend anybody. I'm just saying from my own truth, I want to evolve and learn from the different things of all different perspectives. There was a time I was like, yeah, life is suffering. And the only way to remove suffering is to remove attachment. Now, I don't believe that life is suffering, but I do believe that removing more attachment to things makes sense for me. And when it comes to vulnerability, like, guess what? I like nice stuff. I like nice cars. I like nice homes. I like wearing nice things. I like nice dinners. And I used to think, oh, my God, I can't have a nice car and a nice home if I'm not gonna have attachment. No, it's just if it goes away, if youif it bugs you, if it drives you crazy? If you live your life in fear that it's gonna, then you have attachment to it. If not, get on with it. Buy the cars and the planes and whatever in the hell you want to do, just do it. But don't have attachment and be vulnerable to sharing your truth as it changes. You know, it's been said that all progress begins with telling the truth. I believe that 100%. I've got a client that I was recently working with, helping navigate the disassemblance of a disassembly, maybe of a partnership. And they had been in a partnership for quite some time, and it was time to. To call the ball. A lot of relationships have expiration dates, and it was time that these partners wanted different things out of life and different things out of the business and different goals and dreams. And so it was time to start having a different conversation and moving life forward. It's all good. It's happened to many of us, and it's all good because everybody wins long term when truth is being spoken. And this client was like, oh, my God, though, this person's going to freak out and I don't know how it's going to go. And they were making all these assumptions around this conversation. And then in this particular instance, they had a conversation. Everything went great. They both partners were in agreement. They just hadn't had the conversation. And now, regardless, they get to move forward because they were speaking truth. And as soon as you start telling yourself the truth, including where you're vulnerable, if you start realizing, like, man and business wise, yeah, I don't, I don't have enough cash on hand. Like, I've got some vulnerability. If we have a dip this year, if there's more supply issues, I, I need to, I need to build some cash. That's okay. You don't have to be fear or terrified over it. Just change your behaviors, change your model to where you start accumulating some more cash. That's okay. It's a simple fix, right? It's just spending less than what you take in. Maybe it's raising your prices. Maybe it's having a separate bank account that you funnel some percentage of gross sales into. And you have that, that's easy. But you can't do it without telling yourself the truth, that you have a little bit of a cash situation going on, keeping your head and thinking you're going to outsell it and all that. That's not going to serve anybody. Just telling yourself the truth, man, I got a couple pounds I need to lose. Oh, I need to have a conversation with my wife. I've got to deal with this service manager that's not holding their team accountable. All those things are fine and they're just part of the life experience. But when you tell yourself the truth, you remove vulnerability because vulnerability is tied to fear. Fear is tied to low self esteem. Low self esteem is tied to how you see yourself. And generally low self esteem has to do with how somebody else views you being more important than how you view yourself. I'm big on self care. It's my number one focus in the world is taking care of this human experience that Kenny Chapman gets to have. And when I do that and I stay focused on my own self care rituals, then I'm available to be a better husband to the lovely Christy. I'm available to be a better CEO to my leadership team and the rest of my entire organization. I'm a better coach to my clients. I'm a better human being in the life experience. When I get vulnerable and go, you know what? This used to be my truth, but I don't think it's my truth anymore. I want to expose that. I want to think about that, I want to put that on the table and I want to evolve within that understanding. There is nothing wrong with vulnerability. As a matter of fact, it's an incredibly powerful tool that we have. So I wanted to record this three part series for you so you can just kind of break it up and look at it.

Part one, we talked about overall exposure. Part two, last week we talked about external exposure. Now this week I wanted to wrap it up with your internal exposure because ultimately none of the other exposure matters. When you're focused inside on taking care of yourself, make sure you focus on being in charge, not in control. Make sure you focus on progress, not perfection. And make sure that you believe that all progress starts with telling the truth. And continue telling yourself your truth today and being okay if it changes tomorrow. I'm Kenny Chapman, your host of leadership.

In a nutshell, this has been episode 95.

Thank you so much for being here with me.

Do me a favor and forward these.

Three episodes to Somebody help. Help somebody get some clarity around vulnerability and how they really see the world in this three part series. And until we talk, my friend, make it a better than fantastic week week and I'll see you real soon. Thank you.