96. Leadership Stress Effects

Foreign. Hey, my friend, welcome back to leadership in a nutshell, where we're cracking the code for that driven mind that we have been gifted with. You know, sometimes I used to think this driven mind might be a curse, but I just do not buy into that at all. I don't believe it. I'm not having it. It's nothing but a gift. And today I want to talk to you about that gift in the form of leadership stress effects. And, you know, there's so many ways that the stress, I should say, from leadership can negatively impact our lives. And, you know, being a leader carries a lot of weight sometimes for us. It can create a lot of challenge for us. It can create a lot of stress in our relationships and our financial situation. When I say relationships, I mean personal. I mean business. I mean family, extended family, friends, definitely. There's. There's all kinds of these. These different things. And. And I just. Part of my calling in. In leadership and on this podcast and in my own space in the work that I do is to really start shining a bigger, brighter light on the insanity. I'll probably do several episodes around stress as I feel called to, but right now I just. I want to talk about some of the effects and really how it's hitting us and how it's. There's a. There's a collective agreement that has bought into the fact that stress is necessary and stress is okay, and I'm a leader. And if I'm a leader, there's almost an agreement in society that I'm supposed to be stressed. Can I get a head nod from you? Is there. Have you ever felt that, like, well, wait a minute. If I'm a leader, if I'm running a business, if I manage a team, then if I'm not stressed, then what's wrong with me? What am I missing? Maybe. Maybe something's wrong. Maybe I'm not paying enough attention. Maybe things are going too good. What's around the corner? My fight or flight kicks in from my. My parasympathetic nervous system starts tripping out. Like, hang on, wait a minute. This is not necessary, my friend. What if you're meant to be in business, be in this life, be in this leadership role that you have, and it's just part of your growth experience. It's part of you elevating your consciousness and providing an environment for those around you to elevate theirs. And you don't have to get all wigged out. You don't have to get all upset, you don't have to get pissed Off. You don't have to get jammed up. You don't have to be in fight or flight all the time. What about that? Can I get another head nod? Does that sound a little bit better? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Don't check out on me, don't tune out on me because this is a reality and it's, it can be your reality. And so what I really want you to kind of, kind of honor and, and think about right out of the gate here today is, you know, how often do you feel that for me, I'm just going to share some truth of, you know, I used to have anxiety quite a lot and I, I probably went through a time in my life where I had full on depression and I, I say probably there's, there's no question I did. And I, I personally happen to use drugs and alcohol as a defense mechanism, as a coping mechanism, as a, as an escape technique, whatever, whatever label psychology wants to call it, whatever. Different things. I, I was very functioning as an alcoholic and a pot smoker, but I, but I was, you know, I, I, I justified it. How about that? I, I justified it because I was stressed and I was stressed because I was supposed to be stressed because although I didn't choose to have children in this lifetime, I chose to be a business leader that employs people that do have children and have grandchildren. And therefore I feel even more pressure and with more pressure comes more stress. And then I'm supposed to be even more stressed out and then, ah, oh my God, what am I doing? You know, and, and so maybe you can rel that where it's like it doesn't even matter the size of your immediate family. If you have team members, they count on you and sure they've got a certain responsibility to do what they need to do, but to, in order to earn that check or whatnot. But at the end of the day we're all investing together and so I would, I would bring on this stress. And you know, I'm not, I'm not here to talk about addiction today. I'm here to just say that, you know, you are utilizing certain techniques and whether it's drugs or alcohol, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. Even if it's an external type of an addiction that shows up in, you know, working out or eating or sex or porn or, you know, what are some of the other shopping like? There's, there's so many of them. Other ones are, you know, screen time and distraction and you know, I recently took a three day technology cleanse where I think I'll actually record an episode about that, Just sharing, sharing that experience because it was very enlightening. I was actually on a client call this morning talking about that experience. And I think it's worth sharing with you here in this platform because it's hard to check out, it's hard to put down the phone. I used to like traveling out of the country because I got disconnected, like, oh, I'm out of the country, I'm not going to have access to my cell phone or anything digital. And now all of a sudden they make cell phone plans super cheap and easy to buy. And everywhere you got WI fi, you got connectivity. And all of a sudden the world is connected. And we're going to have to be how we manage that because all of that just continues to keep the brain and the mind going. I'm asking you to drop below that. I'm asking you to take a breath and just be for a moment and just be the incredible human being that you're put on the planet to be. Regardless of what type of leader, regardless of the business results you've been getting, regardless if you lashed out at a manager this morning on your way in, if you yelled at your kids before you left the house, regardless of that, it's all okay, it's all good. It's all part of your curriculum of learning. In this education that you've called life and part of your education, you chose leadership. And then the world has externally decided that part of leadership comes a massive amount of stress. And it's absolutely not true. It's a hundred percent bullshit. There's no proof, no evidence that it has to happen. It's being perpetuated and it's not necessary. And I'm here to help you break that and start to challenge your limiting belief that you have and I had for many, many around this truth. It's not necessary. Stress is made up reality. Because if you feel it, I know I've been stressed a ton in my life. And I'm not saying that things don't come in and wreck me and things don't challenge me and things don't manifest in my gut and start trying to raise up. The key is to have enough conscious awareness to catch it and realize it. So a couple things, if you're not driving, I'd like you to just take a couple notes today as we share our time together. But one of the first things to be mindful of when you're feeling stressed, when there's a stress coming along, is just awareness because what I didn't realize about myself, like I was always in a certain state of stress. One of the reasons I smoked so much when it, when it came to marijuana is because that was how like from the time I woke up in the morning, I had this, ah, this buzz going like I'm tripping out. I'm like, oh my gosh. And then as soon as I smoked I'd be like, oh, okay, I'm, I'm a little more chill. And that was, you know, how I chose to function or unconsciously chose that defense mechanism. And since I set that down several years ago and went, no, I meditate now, I read I journal. I have all these other different areas where I calm my mind and I've refocused my priorities and go. I realized when I would catch myself being stressed, it was like hyper stress. It was like way stressed because I was always stressed at my baseline, right? I was like starting at, you know, the 10th floor of a 12, 4 floor stress building. And, and then I was like, oh man, I'm at level 12 now. Now I, I thought that's when I was stressed. And yet I was stressed all the time. So the key is just really kind of checking in and being aware. Am I stressed? If I am, how stressed am I? Like what does this mean? Stress is tied to fear and fear is tied to an acronym I was recently shared with was around war and it was kind of tied to the ego. The ego is always at war and it's around worry, anticipation and regret. And when we think about these things like that's where your stress is coming from. You're worried about what's going to happen or what you've done. You're in anticipation about what's coming. Oh my gosh, the Fed's raising rates and different things. What's going to happen? What's going to happen to the market? What's going to happen to the economy? What's going to happen to the labor shortage? There's all that anticipation and then there's regret. Man, I wish I would have saved a little more cash during this last amazing economic run that we've had. I wish I would have done, I wish I would have wished I would have. That's all regret. It's not necessary. You did what you did. You did the best that you could with, at the time that you did it. Now it's time to just continue on and let go and, and be easy with yourself and move on. So how often are you feeling stress? How does it show up for different people. It shows up different ways. Like I said, for me, it. It would show up kind of down in my gut and then start raising, and I would feel it, and then it would kind of go through my entire body, and I would have, like, tightness in my chest, and my heartbeat would race a little bit. And a lot of that sounds cliche as I'm talking about it, but that was true for me. And I would almost have clammy palms or sweaty palms. And of course, I spent a lot of my early career speaking and training and coaching, and I. I would even get nervous when I would, you know, if I'd sit down to podcast like I am with you now. I'm not nervous right now. I might stutter on my words. I might stumble. I already have on this show. Are you pissed off at me? Well, guess what? Get over it or find another show, my friend. And I mean that lovingly, because I'm not here to stress you out. If you get stressed over me tripping over my words or saying a word the wrong way or not spelling it correctly verbally, then we're not meant for each other at this moment in time. And that's okay, because I'm here to do the best I can. You're here to do the best you can. And we came together to share this time together right now. And in this time, I want you to think about, how does it show up for you? You know, there's generally two forms of stress, right? We've got physical, and we've got mental and physical. It's super destructive phys. When. When stress manifests physically because we have two chemicals that get released into our. Into our being, and one is adrenaline, and the other is cortisol. And we all know the adrenaline. We've all done those things. You know, we have those. Those different things that. That we do. And a lot of us, you know, as driven entrepreneurs or driven leaders, are labeled as thrill seekers. And I love, you know, love racing cars, and I love going fast, and I love, do, you know, doing different things that get my adrenaline up. Oh, there's, you know, and I do less of that now. I'm. I'm gonna skydive here shortly. And by the time actually, you listen to this, I may have already skydived, but it's just one of the things my team wants to do. So I'm gonna go hop in with a few of them. Have to do it. I'm not like, oh, my life's not gonna be complete, but I'm looking forward to It, I'm not gonna lie, it's gonna be fun. Hell, I almost reenlisted in the army to go to jump school, right? So. But adrenaline is something that, you know, it kind of comes and goes, but we get this false rush and stress comes in and like, oh my gosh, there's adrenaline, okay, in my mouth. That's where the shortness of breath, the heartbeat, all that stuff, then cortisol also gets released and that's the stuff that floods into thethe immune system. Right? And so then that's why when we're super stressed out, a lot of times we'll end up getting sick or we'rewe're more prone to colds and flus. And why, you know, you just look at the U.S. canada and Australia as open markets and we get sick a lot. And a lot of that isn't about certain flus going around or different viruses. I'm not minimizing any of those. But a lot of that has to do with our stress level. And so then on the mental side of things, we have, you know, attitude and how you, you know, all of a sudden I start getting a negative attitude if I'm stressed, and then I start having negative self thoughts and I, and I'm like, oh my gosh, things are bad and I'm not going to be able to navigate if there's a downturn in the economy and then negative self talk kicks in. And just like I was saying, damn it, I should have, maybe I should have saved more cash in the last. Whatever, it's all good. But now we kick these things in and the reality is when I'm stressed out, I might have lower overall productivity and productivity, and my productivity kind of suffers. And then my fulfillment suffers and then it's a, it's a downward spiral, my friend. And that's why I wanted to share today with you in just an open, safe, vulnerable setting that, you know, I, I'm not totally over it, but I'm telling you what, I'm more over it than I ever knew was possible. And I've got my gurus and my mentors and my people that I listen to, to and follow. And I was always just kind of like, you are right now, maybe a little, A little skeptical. A little, yeah, whatever. Kenny's going a little woo woo on us and he meditates now in journals he doesn't understand. He, he only runs an easy consulting business. You know, he's only got about a dozen team members or whatever. It's not hard like this. I Used to justify that stuff, my friends. I get it. I understand your ego trying to fight it. It's fair. Let it fight it however it wants to fight it. And when you're ready, you'll be ready. And I know I had to have, I had it moments to when I got ready. And once I did, it was the best gift I ever gave myself in my life, was to start eliminating stress. And so there's five things I want to share with you today. And number one is, is just to breathe when you start feeling stress. When I talk about that pit coming up in your stomach, breathe through it. Do it now. Just deepen your gut. A gut breath, not a chest, a high chest breath, a gut breath. And it just changes your physiology a little bit. The second thing. And throughout the day, as you catch yourself, just move a bit. There's all kinds of scientific studies that show what a 10 minute walk will do. If you don't have 10 minutes, get up, walk around the house, walk around the office, walk around the parking lot, get out. It's another reason people remain addicted to smoking is because they get out and they go outside or they go for a walk. It's not even the cigarette anymore. There's benefits to getting outside and changing their physiology. So breathe, move. Number three, write it down. Just, you know, I'm a big proponent of journaling, if you haven't noticed that by now. Listening to leadership in a nutshell here, just write some stuff down, get a mental download, get it out of your head. Number four, reprioritize. Like what are, what are some of these shoulds that are giving me pressure? Like when other people are, are telling me how I should live my life if they're trying to apply their rules to my game, I feel these shoulds or you know, musts. Musts are a big, oh man, there comes that stress and that pain and that fight or flight, you know, how about your desires, how about your want to's, how about the things that you desire to do in this life and in this business? So maybe look at reprioritizing some of those things. And the last thing I'll share is just, you know, I'll call it the winning bonus. And I mentioned it earlier, but start getting into a practice of meditation in some way, shape or form. It can be five minutes, it can be 15 minutes. Don't start big. It took me a long time. I started and stopped meditation practices more than I can even count. And now I meditate every single day. A lot of days, twice a day, just from I know what it is. And if I used to be able to find time to drink for. For four or five hours a day, every day, pretty sure I can meditate for 15 to 20 minutes a time or two a day. And just as a reminder, I've been getting massively positive feedback from episode 86 and 87 here. 86 is about say yes to your greatness. That's a meditation that I recorded. And number 87 is episode. I should say 87 is you're right where you're meant to be. That episode. I've probably gotten the most accolades from that episode. And then in number 85, I talked about how meditation changed my life. So I won't go into that here and how it can change yours too. But There's a couple 85. I talk about how 86 and 87 of this, of this podcast are a couple meditations, if you want to try again there. And I've had a lot of requests, so I probably will drop another bonus meditation episode before too long. So to, you know, just keep giving you opportunities to keep exploring that. But if you're not ready for meditation, that's okay. And that's why I want to share these things with you today. Just breathe a little bit during the day. Catch yourself. It doesn't take anything but conscious awareness to do that. Just, oh, wait a minute, I'm feeling stressed. Okay, hang on. Let me. Let me just get away from my desk. Let me just move a little bit. Okay. Let me write down what's. What's on my mind right now. What are four things that are jamming me up? What's two things, whatever it is, and then maybe reprioritize. Am I doing this because I should or because I must or because I have to? Or am I doing some of this because I want to? And even if it's a should or a must, it's because it's taking me through the process that I want to go to get to what I want in this business, in this life, in this amazing experience that we call the human experience. So again, I want to thank you for all the work you're doing on yourself, sharing with me here on Leadership. In a nutshell, I'm super, super grateful to have you here. Give us a, like, give us a rating, click a feedback, a review. However, they keep changing these platforms, so I don't know, but make sure you're still subscribe so you can stay in touch. Today's been about leadership stress effects. I hope it resonated with you. I'm Kenny Chapman, your host. Until we talk. Make it a better than fantastic week. I'll see you real soon. Thank you.