99. What Do You Need To Leave Unfinished?

Foreign. Hey, my friend, welcome back to leadership in a nutshell, where we're cracking the code of the driven mind that you and I both have and are so grateful to have. Sometimes it can be a challenge, but we're super blessed to have these incredible minds that run like crazy and go all over the place. And today I want to thank you for joining me for episode 99. Number 99. What do you need to leave unfinished, my friend? What do you need to leave unfinished? So I want you to kind of think about some of your business situation, your task list, maybe some personal life stuff, maybe some relationship things, however this shows up. But kind of hit me recently. The lovely Christy and I were at a newer cafe juice bar that opened down in Gilbert, Arizona. And I say down in Gilbert, we live in the north side of Scottsdale. So it's about an hour to get down to this juice bar from our house, maybe 45 minutes depending on traffic. And we went down there one Sunday morning, took a ride and have a little Sunday drive. And we got in there and I was looking at the menu, and I'm not vegan, gluten free by anything other than supporting Christy. And I feel better when I eat that way. Most of the time I don't have any, you know, medical reasons or have to's or anything like that, but I generally eat that way. And so I was looking at this menu and there was a whole bunch of smoothies on one side and different, you know, kind of breakfast bowls and acai bowls and different things. And then there were donuts and cookies and brownies and treats and all this stuff. And I said to Christy, I'm like, now wait a minute, remind me. Because she's always finding us restaurants and things to do. I said, remind me, what's the deal here? We can have anything in here. And she's like, everything in here is in she can eat. And I'm like, wow. And so the lady's at the counter and I'm looking at everything, and I'm like, oh my gosh, everything looks amazing. And she's like, well, order everything. And I'm like, yeah, right. You know, and I'm thinking, there's no way. I definitelyi want to eatyou know, order three or four or five things for sure, but there's no way I can eat all of it. And she said, just because you order it doesn't mean you have to finish it. And it kind of hit me, and I was like, okay, now let's not get into the food waste and different Things because what happened that day is we ordered about four, maybe five different items and we had a nice little feast there at the place. And then we boxed it up and we took it home. We keep a cooler in the car and we had leftovers for later and different things like that. So I got to taste more things and I got to have multiple meals out of it. But it really hit me when she said, just because you order it doesn't mean you have to finish it. And it kind of brought me back to where we are today, as you and I are driven minded leaders and as we're looking at how we structure our lives and the different things. And I went, you know, fascinating how we've kind of been taught that and how we've learned this whole kind of concept of, you know, you better do this and if you're going to start it, you better finish it, right? And you start thinking about where did that show up? Well, it's first started maybe with, you know, you got to eat all the gross stuff on your plate before you can have dessert, right? Or, you know, you got to finish your vegetables or you got a plate of food and you had to finish it. My grandma was an amazing human being and she always made me finish my plate, you know, and then she'd want to put more on maybe, maybe there's a reason I was a fat kid. Who knows here? But. And then we kind of, we went from our food, so we makeyou know our parents are trying to give us the right nutrition and then we go into choosing activities in our lives. And so, you know, then it goes to maybe some extracurricular activities. Maybe it's sports, maybe it's band, you know, maybe it's cheer for the ladies out there or guys, I guess, you know, whatever the case may be. And you know, I remember for me, I wanted to join the band at one time and I think I was in middle school, a buddy of mine, and I wanted to. So I got a trumpet. And I remember the thing was, well, you can join the band, but if we buy you this trumpet, you have to take the lessons and do the thing. You got to finish what you started. Like, huh, okay. And then once I got into sports and I started playing a lot of sports and different things, like, well, if we pay this fee, if we get you the cleats, if we get you the glove, if we invest in the registration of everything, you have to play the whole season. And it's interesting and I get it as a kid, otherwise you're just going to try everything. You're not going to give it enough time because oftentimes we need to go through the learning curve of kind of sucking at something for a while before we get good at it. And by the way, that's true in business and leadership as well. I look back and I sucked as a leader. And now I would hope that just about anybody, if not everybody on my team would say that I'm a decent leader, if not one of the better leaders that they've worked around, perhaps. But I had to suck at things. So yeah, we have to suck at things until we can learn. And so our parents were trying to make sure we didn't quit before we learned what we needed to in order to develop some skill and really start enjoying because we have some skill at it. But what's interesting is how that kind of evolves from an unconscious and a subconscious point as we get further along in our lives and now for you and I in a leadership position. And so I remember one year, I think it was my junior year of high school. I'd never liked football. I was an all state baseball player. That was my jam. I loved baseball. I was okay at basketball. And I was in one of those small schools where I played baseball, basketball and football to have something to do with my buddies, stay out of trouble. If I had to stay eligible, I would try to get that 3.2 or 2.8, whatever it was that I had to get for my grades to stay eligible. And so I played football, basketball, baseball. And what was interesting is that was the way they went. Football was in the fall, then basketball in the winter and then baseball in the spring. And then we hit summer. And so baseball was the last sport of the year. So I waited all year to play what I really wanted to play. And I hated football the most. I was a fat, out of shape kid on some level. And I was small. I was 5, 6 and 170 pounds or whatever I was at the time. And I played on the line, both directions. I was on the defensive line, I was on the offensive. I had no business being out there and I hated it. I wasn't good at it. I got ran over all the time. I didn't have one of the fun positions, so I hated football. So my junior year, I went home one day and I told mom, I said, I'm done. I hate it. I don't want to play anymore. And she said, well, if you quit, you can't go back. You're done. And I was like, I don't care. I'm out. I'm sick of these practices all week long. I want to just come home and I'll maybe focus on my schoolwork a little more, have something else to do, whatever. And so I quit. And I was like, I'm out. And then what was interesting is about a week of not going to football practice and not being around my buddies and not being on this team and probably had ego around being one of the sports athletes, football players, and the pep rallies and wearing the jersey on Friday of game day. All that went away for about a week and a half or two weeks. And I was like, damn, I think I made a mistake. And I went to mom and I'm like, mom, please let me rejoin. And I went to my coach and said, is there any way I can get back on the. But coach said, if your mom okays it, you can come back. And I was like, mom. And she said, I told you, if you quit, you can't go back. It's unfinished business. You stopped it. You can't go back. I begged and begged and thank God mom let me go back. I went back to kind of things in our business. Now, if we think about leadership in your business, I was just talking to a client this week that was talking about the things that they disliked in their business, but there were things that they liked more enough that they want to. To keep their business. They don't want to sell it. And I feel that way about football. I didn't like most of the things about football, but evidently there was enough things around it and being with my buddies and having some fun and having the pep rallies and playing Friday night games and different, that was enough to outweigh it. So really all that translates in life. So mom let me go back and whatever. And so I just want to circle back to you right now in your life and your leadership and why we get together. Leadership in a nutshell, have 10, 12, 15 minutes a week where I can just share something on my mind and hopefully resonates with you. And as our listenership continues to grow every month, I'm grateful for you. If this makes sense to you, please share it with somebody that needs to kind of challenge their own unfinished business and think about what you were taught. Finish what you start right at all costs. Doesn't matter if it sucks, doesn't matter if you hate, it. Doesn't matter. You made the choice. It might have been a mistake, but you made the choice. You're going to finish this. And I want you to think about that for a moment. And I want you to think about where does that show up in your life now and in your business? And I want to challenge you with where are some areas that maybe you're doing something that you need to stop? Maybe there's something that you just need to leave unfinished. Maybe it's time to, you know, after I had the acai bowl and part of the breakfast bar and had a couple bites of the brownie for a little dessert or whatever, put the brownie down, Kenn. You know, it's, it's, you don't have to finish the brownie. Put it back in the box and take it home, right? And so however that shows up for you, what are some things in your business, in your life right now that you just need to leave them unfinished? They don't need to be done. Guess what? You're not that kid anymore. You don't need to be told to finish your plate. You don't need to be told to finish your veggies. You don't need to be told that you have to play the full season of trumpet. If you pick up the trumpet, you're a driven leader, you're a creator. You create jobs, you create economy, you create scale, you create happiness, you create fulfillment. You create so many amazing things that sometimes you get caught up continuing to create in areas that you shouldn't be creating anymore. So I want you to write these two words down, or four words, I guess, two concepts. Number one, write down strategic start and then put a dash or an equal sign perhaps. And I want you to write strategic stop. And there's those old. There's all the sayings that come. All good things must come to an end. I'm not buying into all that stuff. What I'm talking about is let's have some strategic starts of the things that we do, the projects we take on the lines of business that we add, the team members that we invest in, the human capital that we invest in, the leaders that we train, like front line that we train. What are the strategic things that we want to start? And then what do we need to look at and go, it's time for a strategic stop. It's time for me to challenge that a little bit because here's what I know. The way things start aren't how they finish. I started as a very basically dead broke drain cleaner by myself in a 1987 Mazda pickup. Snake and drains. That was how I started as an entrepreneur. Now what are we? The time this drops. We're almost. What is this? 22. So 28 years ago. And now I have the opportunity to be on a podcast, a medium that didn't even exist, sharing with you and hopefully making a positive impact in your life and those around you, because you're taking some of the concept and we're just checking your mindset once a week on a 10, 15 minute basis. I started as a drain cleaner. Now I get to help people accomplish their goals and their dreams in life. And I did that through my business when I had the service business as well. And so I want you to realize you're not that child anymore. You're a grown ass adult that gets to make decisions for yourself. And sometimes we need to remember that. And I'm not trying to offend anybody with my language, but I wanted to get your attention here and go, wait a minute, I don't have to keep doing this. I get to choose and then I get to choose again. And I want what I want because I want it it. And I want to stop doing this, fill in the blank because I don't want to do it anymore. And that's okay. And when you do that. I talked about delegating recently on a podcast with you, and I just think about that, that some people's pain is other people's pleasure. And it's like when you stop doing something, you give someone else an opportunity to do it. If it's a delegation. But I'm not even talking about delegating. I'm talking about just killing it it stop it right in its tracks. Done deal. I don't need to do this anymore. What are some of those that might show up? Guess what? You've already got some anyway. You've got some tasks, you've got some projects that have just been hanging out there and they're the ones that wear you out because you feel like you're not finishing, you feel frustrated, you are kicking your own butt because you're not finding the desire, the passion, the purpose, the priority to get these things done. And so obviously they don't have that much value to you, otherwise you would. So there are some certain things, don't get me wrong, there are some things we need to do and accomplish and finish that we might not want to because it's necessary to the greater good of our purpose and our vision. But there's also some stuff that could be time for a strategic stop. So you've heard me talk about your not doing list. Your to not do list, if you will, is more important than your to do list. What about your not finishing list? Maybe there are some things that you started that maybe it's okay to set yourself free and just realize, you know, I'm probably not going to do that because I haven't done it by now. I'm going to not worry about the judgment that other people have. I'm not going to worry about the fear of going to my team and saying I might have. You know, I'm not even going to call it a mistake because I thought this was the right direction to go when I started this project. It's evolved now. I have a different understanding. I've got more market research, whatever it is, we're not going to do this anymore. I might pick it up again in the future. We might take a different angle with it it. But I'm going to stop doing this. Stop doing this means you're just putting something on hold in order to allow something else to rise to the top. Don't judge yourself. All judgment is self judgment anyway. So if your team's going to judge you, they're probably judging themselves and using you as a mirror and a reason to do that. But just get truthful with yourself. What do you need to leave unfinished, my friend? If you order it on the menu, it doesn't mean you have to finish it. And when we look at our own health in society and our weight problems and all the, you know, we've served big portions in America, travel out of the US go to Europe, go to South America and see different portions and it's like, oh, that's the American portion. When they pile up the plate and then we're taught we need to finish our plate and then we end up obese as a society. Well, maybe we're obese with our task list. Maybe there's some areas where I put it on my plate, but maybe it doesn't belong there. Maybe it's time to hand it off, throw it away, get rid of it, let it spoil whatever it is. What I'm talking about here today, my friend, is emotional regulation. And my goal is with this podcast, my goal and all the work that I do in my life, architecture work in my life, mastery work in the products, the services that I create, the books that I write, this podcast here, I just want to help with your own emotional regulation. Set yourself free. Go look at some things that you need to add to your I'm not going to finish it list and execute accordingly. I want to thank you, my friend. Episode 99 what do you need to leave unfinished? Please do me a favor, kick this to somebody. Share this with somebody that could use this shot today or any of the other 98 episodes we've recorded to this point. I'm Kenny Chapman, your host of Leadership in a Nutshell. I have massive gratitude for you. Thank you so much for being here. Until we talk, make it a better than fantastic week. I'll see you real soon, Sam.