Ask Me Anything plus a Special Announcement! - LinkedIn Live Event

Hello my fellow negotiators.

Did you know I once had a.

Listener share that after listening to our podcast, she was able to negotiate a $53,000 raise. And you know what I told her? Where is my commission? Just kidding. But the real story is this was after years of being too afraid to negotiate. But after listening to a couple of episodes on Salary Negotiation, she felt equipped with with the confidence and tools to ask for the payment she deserved. And that, my friends, is the power of negotiation. And through a subscription to our new membership community Negotiate Anything Premium, we're taking that power to the next level. With customized playlists based on our most popular topics, you'll be able to find the episodes you're looking for much faster and much easier. A tool that comes in handy as you're getting ready to prepare for an important negotiation. Even I find myself asking which episode should I listen to before heading into a high stakes negotiation? And you might be saying, but Kwame, you're the ones having the conversations. But I forget. So I listen to the episodes multiple times. Okay, now here's the thing about Negotiate Anything Premium. It'll allow you to dive deeper into the specific situations you're facing, whether it's a salary negotiation, an important business meeting, or an emotional conversation with a loved one.

Bonus for you.

In addition to ad free and extended episodes, Premium members will have exclusive access to solo episodes and insights from yours truly. And as you know, it will be very dry and very boring. Because I have no sense of humor and this is something that you all have been asking for. I'll also be offering personalized answers to some of your most burning questions through our Ask Me Anything feature. If you've been enjoying our traditional feedback, imagine the value a premium subscription can offer. I've felt the benefit of negotiation firsthand and it is life changing. Many of you don't know this, but my journey has taken me from people pleaser to a confident negotiator. Because I was able to do two simple things through negotiation. I was able to first change my mindset and then I was able to improve my skill set. And that is what will happen for you when you join Premium. I've already seen the impact of these skills and the power of this model not only in my own life, but also in the lives and careers of our clients all around the world. My family, my friends, and our team here at A&I, and I am confident that it can do the same for you. Now, are you ready to negotiate more of the best things in life? Check the link in the show notes to learn more. I'm excited to continue the conversation.

I'll catch you later. Hey everybody.

Good to see all of you here.

I was already talking, I thought I was already live. So this is genuine laughter you're seeing. But hello and welcome to our LinkedIn Live. Let's start this off how we start off all of our LinkedIn lives. Once you start to trickle in here, just give a shout out in the comments, let us know where you're coming in from and we'll get into it. So I just want to give you all a heads up. There is a bit of a change in plans unfortunately. Steph Palai, who's our chief operating officer at A I, she was supposed to join us today but she was unable to join us today because she is very sick. So if you are connected with her on LinkedIn, make sure to send her some, some well wishes and positive vibes in those messages. I think I, I know she would really appreciate that. So it's just me, Kwame Christian with you live in this LinkedIn live. So let me give you a bit of a heads up about how we are going to format this session and then what you can expect and then we'll jump into it. So first I'm going to start off with just an update with A and I we have a very, very exciting announcement to make and so we're going to start off with that and then we're going to go into a, an ask me anything session. So any questions that you have, just put it in the comments and we'll get to it. And some folks who have followed us for a while have in their questions beforehand. So we have some questions from folks before and we have some questions from folks that are going to come in live. So want to keep this conversation going as much as possible because these types of go these types of back and forths, the ask me anything, they're a lot of fun for me and based on the feedback from previous sessions, they, they have been well received. So now let's start off with the announcement. Starting June 4, we are coming out with a new program called Negotiate Anything Premium. So for those of you who are familiar with our podcast, Negotiate Anything, it's the number one negotiation podcast in the world. We have over 10 million downloads and listeners in over 180 different countries and we're part of the LinkedIn podcast network, really proud of that accomplishment as well. And so we have episodes coming out every single day and we've been doing this for eight years. I think it's about 1200 episodes we have total at this point. So it's a lot of content that we have and we're really proud of the fact that we have been really consistent over the last almost decade putting out high quality content. And that's tied to our mission. We believe the best things in life are on the other side of difficult conversations. And so our goal is to help to make the world a better place, one difficult conversation at a time. And so for you, that means advancing your career, your life, your relationships through the art and science of negotiation and conflict resolution. There have been pieces of feedback that we've gotten throughout the years with consistency on the podcast. Well, we have 1200 episodes and that's a lot. And so sometimes it doesn't feel like you can find the right episode for the right time because the episode topics are not organized in that sense. But with Negotiate Anything Premium, one of the benefits is you'll have the opportunity to listen ad free. But also you'll have access to categorized playlists. So you'll have a playlist dedicated to negotiation skills and strategies. Strategies, emotions, careers and those type of things. So you'll be able to segment your learning by subscribing to the feed that's most interested to most most interesting to you. So check out negotiate anything.com if you're interested in that. We'll also have Ask Me Anything sessions where we will be able to take listener questions and then turn that into content that will be exclusive for Negotiate Anything Premium members and then bonus content. So these this will be breakdowns after negotiation Negotiate Anything podcast episodes. I just did one today. We had a great episode with Casi Killam. She just wrote a new book called the Art and Science of Connection and so we had a really great conversation and then I did about a 20 minute freestyle, just a breakdown of the interview, different things that I've seen, more in depth connections about how it relates to negotiation and difficult conversations and some of the insights that I have because after these episodes I'm buzzing. I am buzzing with ideas. But as a host, I want to be as generous as possible as a host. So I'm putting the spotlight on my guest at all times. And so there are a lot of additional thoughts that I have that I don't share out of respect for the guest because I want to make sure that we're focused on them. But then if you're in premium I can share those with you so you can have deeper levels of learning. Also some solo episodes too, when you're producing an episode every single day. It is not conducive to being able to spend a lot of time preparing an individual episode because an individual solo episode is more like a course than anything else. And so I've had a lot of ideas, but just because of our production schedule, it's been tough to be able to fit that in. But now since we have Premium now, I have a conduit for some of those ideas that I wouldn't be able to put into the regular feed, but I can put into Premium. So there are a lot of exciting bonuses and video content as well too. So we'll release the full video of this, the episode on Negotiate Anything Premium with some behind the scenes banter with guests. So there's a lot in there. I'm very, very excited about it and I hope you all are able to join. So again, if you're interested, make sure to check out negotiate anything premium.com and also if you register, you'll also get access to a free trial as well. So you can test it out for a week, see if it's for you. No risk, cancel anytime. So any questions you have on that, go ahead and put that in the chat as well. But for now, it is time to get to your questions. This is exciting. So we have question number one and this is one that we tackled in one of our articles too. But I think it's good to talk this one out. So question number one. What if my client is pushing for a lower price, but I can't offer another discount? So this is a scenario where you've been negotiating with a client, they're trying to work with you, and it is getting to the end of negotiation where you're saying, this person keeps on asking for things and I am at the end of the rope. I cannot give anything more. What do I do in that situation? I think it's important for us to recognize this about negotiation. Negotiation is not the art of deal making. Negotiation is the art of deal discovery. So I'm going into these conversations with the goal of working with the other side collaboratively to discover whether or not there is a deal to be made. If there's a deal that we can make, great, let's do it. And if there's not a deal to be made, no harm, no foul, it's okay, you can go your separate ways. Because really, when you think about it, negotiation is a decision making mechanism. There's an opportunity on the table or a problem that needs to be solved. And then we have this conversation. So then we can make a decision that's best for us, whatever that means. If we have a solidified deal, then the decision that both of us make collaboratively is that this offer that's on the table is the best option for both of us. So we're going to take that opportunity to work together. We're going to sign that, we're to going, going to be done. But then on the other side, we might recognize there's not, we're missing the mark. There's not an overlap here. And one of the worst outcomes we can have in a negotiation is a negotiation that never a deal that never should have been made. You know, you don't want to get stuck in a bad deal in, in a tough situation. Additionally, in this situation, when you're negotiating with a client and they want more discounts, they're trying to get more from you. Remember, this is not just a negotiation, it's also an interview. They're negotiating with you to try to get the best deal possible. And they're also interviewing you in the process to see whether or not they want to work with you. You're doing the exact same thing. I don't want to work with everybody. Sometimes it's just not an appropriate match. And so if there's a person who is so price conscious and price sensitive that they're trying to push down your price lower than what is acceptable or tenable for you and your organization, then it's a sign that this person might not be the right person for you. And oftentimes, if there's somebody who's very, very, very price conscious, you might run into a situation where they are continuing to try to find ways to nickel and dime you throughout the relationship. So you have to ask yourself, not only is this a deal that I want to accept, but am I interested in accepting this type of behavior going forward? Now, I want to be clear. I'm not, I am not maligning anybody for negotiating or advocating for what they want. You should do it and they should do it too. We shouldn't take that as a threat. If a client is trying to lower their price, they're doing exactly what they should be doing in their circumstance. And you respect that. And at the same time, you need to respect yourself and respect your boundaries and recognize there is a line that cannot be crossed. We've crossed. We're past this point where this deal is acceptable. So at the end of the day, if a client is asking for something that you're unwilling to give or unable to give, where it's way past your Bottom line, then all you need to do is let them know that with clarity. Sometimes the easiest answer is simply telling the truth with clarity and kindness. Clear is kind, right? So you could say something like this. I appreciate and respect the fact that you're advocating for your needs and that's exactly what you should be doing in this situation. The problem is right now there isn't anything more than I can do to make this offer better than you as a better for you as it relates to the money. The this is the lowest that I'm able to go and I want to be clear about that so you can know what our parameters are. And I completely understand if this isn't for you, but if it is, if there's a way that you can make this work, then we'd love to work with you. That's it. Nothing special. You know, that was more or less a freestyle, but again, you just clearly articulate the boundary. If somebody is pushing you beyond your boundary, all you need to do is articulate that boundary. That is it.

Right.

And so once you do that, then the ball's in their court. Now it's their opportunity to make a decision. You've provided them with the information that they need to make an informed decision for themselves. You know, another option is you can start to negotiate non monetary issues where you say, hey, listen, I'm not able to make any flexibility here when it comes to the price. However, if you're able to do this, maybe I could make some, I can make some changes on this side. Or maybe it's that you need a reciprocal concession from them. So it might be a situation where you say, I can't go lower than this number. However, if you're able to provide some value to me, then I might be able to get my team to consider it. If you can introduce me to five other people, then that would be helpful for our business and then we would be willing to make this adjustment. Right, but it's one of two things. Clear boundary, allow them to make a decision, or you think through it and you say this is about value, not just about price. So if we adjust the value on this element of price, then we need to recoup that value somewhere else in some kind of way. And I encourage you to think this through.

I've got a quick story for you. So I was at this keynote and I talked to a listener and he said, kwame, I love the podcast, but my favorite part, man, I love those commercials.

And I said, I don't think this.

Is a true story. And now let me tell you about Negotiate Anything Premium where you can listen to your favorite Negotiate Anything episodes ad free. With a subscription to Premium, you can get access to more insights from your favorite experts and ad free listening and extended episodes. Bonus, you'll also get access to exclusive episodes and personalized advice from yours truly. If you've been looking for an easy and affordable way to level up your skills and negotiate more of the best things in life, join our Premium community. Now for that gentleman in that fictional story. This ads for you and for the rest of you.

I'll see you in Premium. Think this through, take your time. You don't want to be in a situation where you're rushing and making a bad decision, you know. So one thing that I like to say is concede according to plan. Concede according to plan. I don't make a concession in a negotiation unless I've thought about it before. And if somebody makes an offer and they want me to adjust and they're requesting a concession, I don't make a decision on that call or in that conversation. I say, you know what, this is, this is very helpful. I appreciate that. And then I'm going to get some information from them. So you're asking me to make an adjustment. I going to figure out why, what is it that you really want? What are your interests, not just what you're asking for, what is it? Why? Why are you asking for that thing? What problem are you trying to solve? So I'm trying to get as much information as possible. So I don't make a decision on a concession, just freestyling because it's likely that I'm going to be persuaded based on the pressure of that moment. I might for some reason feel some kind of social or emotional pressure that makes me make a decision that would close the deal and solve a short term problem, but creates a long term problem down the road. So I want to make sure that I'm prepared and making these concessions based on strategic thinking. And I'm willing to give myself time, but I'm not going to waste my time if they make an offer, I'm going to gather information so I can make a better decision going forward. Awesome. Good question. All right, Simone, let's see, question number two. Another good one. Talking about negotiations with clients. So how can I maintain a positive relationship with a client if negotiations become contentious or hostile? So first of all, when we're thinking about the positive relationship, a lot of times we have this mindset where we think that we cannot both advocate for what it is that we want and have a little bit of that dynamic tension that exists within any negotiation and at the same time, have a positive relationship. It is not an either or. It can be a both, and. But it has to. It has to occur with intentionality. Because naturally, just let's think about it psychologically as human beings. If we are competing over perceived scarce resources, that is what creates conflict. So if you want this and I want this, it seems almost like it's a tug of war and you're not on my team. You're on the other team. You're trying to make my outcomes worse. That is the mentality that will persist unless somebody takes a stand to actually do something about it. And one of the things that is the easiest thing for us to do that we often don't do in these conversations is take the time to state our intent. What is my intention in this interaction? That matters. Because if the person is a client, let's assume that they're already on your roster, you've signed the contract, the deal is done. And now we're just kind of. We're in a moment of tension in the relationship, which happens. This always happens, right? It's. This is to be expected. Great. Before the conversation, what I'm going to do is I'm going to say, hey, listen, before we start this conversation, I want to say I've really appreciated working with you over the past couple of months, and I'm looking forward to continuing to work with you in the future. I understand that we're in a tough situation right now, but. But I believe that if we have a conversation, we can work together to move this thing in the right direction and solve this problem together. Right. So notice those things that I said. First of all, I'm talking about the roles that we are playing as characters in this interaction. Who are you, who am I, and what are we here to do? We are on the same team. You see a lot of the use of the collaborative language. We, us together. It's not you versus me. Right. That's not what it is. I am being very intentional about the language that I'm using to make sure that I am fostering and triggering a collaborative atmosphere. And then what I do is, during the conversation, once I recognize tensions are starting to rise, emotions might be starting to bubble up. I start to say to myself, one of the reasons why the emotions might be bubbling up is because that positive and collaborative narrative that I created at the beginning, it is starting to fade in their memory. At the beginning of this conversation, vibes Were good. Conversation was flowing, and we were moving in a good direction. But as we. As we started to reach a few. Some additional levels of hardship in the conversation, some pitfalls, some. Some impasses, now the storyline has changed in their mind. They don't see me as a collaborator working with them to solve this problem. They see me as an obstacle, a challenger, a competitor working against them in this situation. We're not working together against the problem. It is me versus you. And so before I continue, once I recognize that tone changing in the conversation, I just slow things down and restate that intent. Hey, with the question that you asked, it was a really great question. But before I answer that, I just want to say this. I know I said it before, but I want to say it again. I really value you as a client, and this is a challenging situation, and we've gotten to this point because we've been able to have this conversation, and I appreciate you engaging with me in this way. And again, I see us as working on the same team, you and me versus this challenge. And so I just want to restate that. That is the. The energy I'm trying to bring to this interaction. Right. And so, again, I just want to pause in those moments once I see emotionality starting to go up. Taking the time to restate that intention, that's very, very powerful and often overlooked. Okay, awesome. Good. Let's get at least one more question. Let's see what comes up. What role does body language play in negotiations, and how can I use it to my advantage? So body language, we shouldn't just limit this to negotiation. We should think about this in terms of communication in general. What role does body language have in communication in general? It's a massive role, and I think that it's helpful to think about body language as if it is its own language. So, yes, we might be negotiating in English, but also we are both communicating using body language, whether we know it or not, whether we're doing it intentionally or not. And so what I want to do is, throughout the conversation, I want to pay attention to the body language and then see whether or not the body language and the actual language, the spoken language, is consistent. So let's just use me as an example here, and I say, yeah, I'm really excited to be working with you today. Did that match? Did that seem very excited? When somebody's smiling and saying they're excited, one thing to pay attention to is the eyebrows. And so think, let's. Let's look at these greetings, right? So look at My face now, hey, it's really good to see you. Versus hey, it's really good to see you. And you can see this with other people greeting. It's. This is great for people watching. If you see a group of people and one person gets the eyebrow flash but the other person does not, it's like there's a different level of warmth. The eyebrow flashes show genuine excitement. Right? So you want to pay attention to these types of things because we don't always know exactly what it means. It might mean they don't like you, or it might mean they just had a really bad day. A lot of times, if somebody is bringing negative energy into a conversation, it's not necessarily because of something you did. It might be because of something, some level of baggage they're bringing in from their life. So we can't always attribute that to ourselves. So when we're recognizing these discrepancies in body language, what we want to do is use that as a guide for curiosity. So in this situation, if somebody's like, yeah, I'm really excited to work with you, and they, you know, they don't seem excited at all. And also, important note, I am familiar with their baseline level of body language. If they're genuinely, genuinely a bubbly person and generally a bubbly person, and they seem flat today, I'm gonna wonder why. But I'm not going to probe in a, like a. In a very, you know, imposing or aggressive type of way. It's just going to be a gentle inquiry. So, okay, great. Yeah, I'm excited about this too. Just out of curiosity, what is it that's making you so excited about that? And so now I want to see, like, how excited are you? Is this real? You know, because maybe they. It might be a check on themselves, and they might say, yeah, I'm very excited about this because of this opportunity and that, okay, great, I can see that it's legit. But if they're like, oh, yeah, I mean, this is just a good business deal for us, okay, I don't know what that means, but what you're saying and what you are displaying, those two things are not connected. Right? So for me, the way I think about body language is that it is just data. It is an opportunity for me to pay attention and get more curious. And so I'm going to log that in my mind a lot. And so my favorite book on body language is written by Joe Navarro. It's called what Every Body, Body Is Thinking. Really, really great book. And it helps you to break down under and understand body language and then also recognize the body language and energy you might bring into the conversation and allows you to, to adjust as well. It's really, really great book, but one thing to pay attention to, and I'll leave you with this note, is that when it comes to body language, it's not just about making the right reads, it's about having the discipline to, to not make the wrong reads. I think that's a bigger challenge with body language where people don't actually study body language. They just feel like they have it intuitively. And I think we all do to a certain extent. But when you're talking about taking that next, next level, next step as a negotiator or communicator, it requires study because a lot of it isn't intuitive and a lot of it is counterintuitive, in fact. And so one of the problems I see is that people make reads and they're very confident in their reads and their reads are just wr, you know, so it's understanding how to read body language appropriately, but also overcoming and understanding the mistakes, the common mistakes and false positives that come from somebody who is too overconfident in their ability to read body language without actually doing the work to study body language. So yes, this was fun. This was great. I appreciate this and I appreciate the questions as well. And, and this is just an example, a small sample of what these Ask Me Anything types of sessions will be within Negotiate Anything premium. So if you have any interest in that, make sure to check it out. Negotiate anything. Com. And then again, this is an opportunity for me to have more meaningful interactions with you and all of the people in the, in the community. Because it's not just getting bonus content. It's being part of a community of global negotiators who are all trying to sharpen their skills. That's the real added benefit. And I am very, very excited about the opportunity to do this. It gives me an opportunity to create a lot of the content that I've always wanted to create, but could never justify creating because there were so many other business focuses. But now since we've created this, it's really the, the culmination of an eight year long win win negotiation. The podcast listeners have been asking for more. We have been trying, just racking our brains trying to figure out how to give people more and more. And now we think we figured it out. Think we don't think we figured it out. We know we figured it out. Very confident in this program and we, I am confident that you will enjoy it too. So make sure to Check out negotiate anything.com to get added to the wait list and then we will be opening up negotiate anything premium 6-4- Alrighty. Appreciate all of you. Thank you for showing up and I'll catch you later. Wait, wait wait wait wait.

Now, before you sign off, I have something to tell you that I've never told you before. Just kidding. I've told you before, but you should listen to it again. I want you to know about Negotiate Anything Premium. Imagine all of the things that you love about our traditional feed, plus so much more. I know you like our traditional feed because you're at the end of the episode. And with Negotiate Anything Premium, you'll get more bonus content you've been asking for, more of the expert insights that you can't get anywhere else, and more exclusive behind the scenes access into every conversation. Are you ready to get more of what you want out of your life, career and every conversation? With Negotiate Anything Premium, you'll have access to more high level, custom designed content and insights giving you the tools you need to negotiate higher salaries, better deals and better relationships in your life and and career. Once I had a listener share that Negotiate Anything helped her to negotiate a $53,000 raise. Could this be you? What would that mean for your life? I've seen firsthand the impact this model has had on my life and the lives of my corporate clients and I am confident that it can do the same for you. Are you ready to negotiate more of the best things in life? Click the link in the show notes to learn more.

I'll catch you later.