Barb Smoot on Collaboration, Negotiation, and Empowering Women's Leadership

Hello, my friend, and welcome to another exciting episode of Negotiate Anything. Thanks for joining us today. With over 10 million downloads and listeners from more than 180 different countries, it's dedicated listeners just like you who have made Negotiate Anything the number one negotiation podcast in the world. I'm your host, Kwame Christian. I'm a business lawyer, mediator, author, and the proud CEO of of the American Negotiation Institute. Now, before we get into today's insightful conversation, I have a golden opportunity for those of you who recognize the power of negotiation in your professional lives. Have you ever found yourself wishing that you could navigate those high stakes conversations with more confidence? Or perhaps you're looking to empower your team with the art of persuasion and conflict resolution? At the American Negotiation Institute, we've crafted specialized keynotes and workshops tailored for those very needs. We've transformed the negotiation skills of professionals worldwide, and we're eager to do the same for you. We believe the best things in life are on the other side of difficult conversations. And our goal is to help you improve your lives and the lives of those around you, one difficult conversation at a time. Don't let another challenging conversation leave you second guessing. Click the link in the description to discover how we can help you find confidence in conflict, negotiate better deals, and have stronger relationships. Because in the world of business, every conversation counts. And now, without further ado, let's jump into the interview. Barb, thanks for joining us today.

Thanks. Kwame, how are you this lovely morning?

I am fantastic. Better now that we're chatting. How about you get us started by telling us a little bit about yourself?

Kwame, thanks for that question. But before I begin, I first like to thank you for all the hard work and contributions that you make to women in the community and in businesses in our area. A heartfelt thank you for being a man who walks the talk. So I first wanted to say that before we began our discussion.

Well, thank you. Now I am going to make sure that my wife and my mom listen to this episode in particular.

Absolutely. Well, Kwame, what I do day in and day out, my title is President and CEO of Women for Economic and Leadership Development, and we call it WELD for short. You know, to put it briefly, I am responsible for building confidence, connections, and skill sets for women in our communities and the communities that we serve so that they can advance in their leadership ranks, grow their businesses, and really achieve their career aspirations. Fundamentally, that's what I do.

That's phenomenal. And how long have you been doing this?

I've actually been employed by Weld for seven years. So on a formal basis, I've been supporting women for seven years in this role. But prior to it, supporting women has always been a passion of mine. So I had volunteered for Weld and even in a previous career, I was heavily engaged in mentoring and helping women navigate through the corporate ranks.

Nice. And your background is really interesting because your undergrad was in physics and then you got into the financial services industry, right?

Yes. It's a lot of dots in between and to get from point A to point B. But essentially my heart has always been in math and science. I like the quantitative, I like learning and the discovery. But I lived in a community several years ago when I just got out of college. And if you could add two plus two, they were trying to convince you to take the actuarial exams. And that's how I made that leap from physics to actuarial to the business world.

Wow. That is incredibly impressive. Well done.

Thank you.

So for those people out there who don't know about Weld and are interested, this is your chance to make a pitch. What are the benefits of being in welding?

Thank you. You know, fundamentally, the value to being in Weld is developing those key connections in the community that's going to help you advance your career, grow your business. People will tell you it's not so much your resume that gets you in the door, it's people who know you, who are willing to speak your name that help you get in the door. And your resume is the one that keeps you in the room, if you will. Well, develops those skills, skill sets for you, develops those connections. And it's a real community of support, of finding like minded women who want to pay it back and help the women in the communities that we serve progress.

Yep, I'm a fan. I just got involved with Weld earlier this year and thankfully I was able to connect with you and I'm excited to serve more with what I can offer.

Thank you. You know as well the reason why we do this is you could say it's the right thing to do and everything around fairness and equity. But the reality, Kwame, is when you have more women in top leadership, companies financially outperform others with fewer or no women in leadership. And I think we all understand the economic clout of women as consumers. So it's important to have women at the table as companies are developing strategy, as communities are trying to address fundamental societal issues. You know, if you have a team that doesn't include women, you're missing half the piece that you need to succeed?

Absolutely. Well, I'm glad you are doing the work that you do, and we will continue to support however we can. One of the things that you said that really resonated with me was the fact that Weld helps to give women the key connections they need to have professional and personal success. And one of the things that I know you've been able to do successfully is use key connections through collaboration with other partners in the community. And I'd like to try and break down the negotiation aspect of collaboration, collaborating between organizations. In your experience, how has collaboration helped Weld grow?

Collaboration has been the key reason, I believe, why WELD is where it is today. Fundamentally, unless you're an Almighty Fortune 10 business, if you will, it's very difficult for small organizations to be all things to all people and have the necessary resources to deliver on its mission. So from the very beginning, when I joined Weld as an employee, it was about identifying a where are we strong? What things do we want to actually deliver ourselves versus where do we really need to seek out the strengths and partnerships of other organizations in the community to further our mission? So as we look to develop partnerships and collaborations, collaborative efforts in the community, we're looking for organizations that complement what we do, that believe in our mission and. And that have missions that are reinforcing and reciprocating, if you will. And because of that, we've been able to stretch our thin resources much further than if we had tried to tackle many of these issues by ourselves.

And so what I'm seeing is that this is intentional. This is really strategic.

Absolutely. You know, as you look at where women are in leadership ranks in our businesses, the nonprofit sector, elected officials, the problem is, and the opportunity is bigger than any one organization, there is so much work to be done that there is no room for organizations to compete for that work, if you will. When you look at advancing women, it's going to take all of us working together in order to move the needle, not competing for and viewing it as a zero sum game. So from a strategic standpoint, we've sought out organizations that are strong where we don't have the bench strength or the skill sets or the resources in order to deliver on.

That's brilliant. Yeah, that's really smart. And what's really interesting about it to me is the fact that in order to effectively create this strategy, it required a level of humility and vulnerability that you needed to identify those weaknesses.

Absolutely. There are so many different levels of strategic partnership. You might have the ones that are merely cross marketing of events. But the real return on investment, if you will, is when you start to embed in each other's organizations and each other's strategies and cross pollinate. That's when you really get that return on investment. So, you know, Weld is wonderful at developing women's leadership skills and their community connections. You know, how do we work with organizations that focus on helping women business owners run their business? Well, that's the perfect opportunity for, well, to collaborate with this organization. We have large corporate members who could be potential customers of this women's organization that has all these women business owners. These women business owners in turn can come in and mentor and coach and consult with our members. So it's a deeper, richer relationship, if you will. If you start to scratch below the surface of doing the no brainer things like cross marketing events.

And so now getting beyond the strategy, because the strategy is brilliant, let's talk a little bit about the negotiation strategy in particular. Because now, once you've done your due diligence and found your weaknesses and then found complementary organizations, how do you begin that negotiation? How do you start those talks?

The first thing is to go in with the mind that you want everyone to win and that it's not a win lose situation. Understanding with clarity, crystal clear what the other organization needs in order to further its mission and really be thoughtful about how our organization can support them and their mission. You know, it begins with that. It's not about going in and trying to dominate a conversation and saying, this is what Weld really needs or this is what my organization really needs. If you walk in with wanting to be a true partner and wanting to have a reciprocating relationship, you'll take the time to listen and understand the needs of the other organization before you start trying to go down the path of getting your own needs met.

Brilliant. I had a huge smile on my face as you were answering this because you just hit on almost all of the negotiation fundamentals here, and especially when you talked about the mindset too, Because I think a lot of people rush into these conversations. They're ill prepared and they focus too much on the tactics that they're going to use at the table and not what's going on in their own mind. But the very first thing you said was a mindset issue. Shifting your perspective on what a negotiation should be and what the outcome should.

Be and taking the time to cultivate those relationships before you begin to think about transacting business. You know, some of the relationships and the strategic partnerships that Weld has in the communities that it serves have been years in the making of getting to know the leadership of the different organizations, understanding their programs, building confidence that you are a person that is committed to your word and deed, starting with that relationship first. If you get the relationship right, the transacting of the business is so much easier to accomplish.

Absolutely. And the simple word that comes to mind is patience. In almost every situation, we need to suspend our agenda and put the people first. And that's what you said. You focus on their needs, getting to understand them thoroughly and learning how you can be of assistance. And you come with value first before even making that ask.

Absolutely. And having a true desire to want to learn about another organization or about the individual that's in front of you. One of the things I most enjoy doing is, you know, going to meet someone for a cup of coffee and hearing their leadership journey, how they got to where they are today, and identifying two or three ways, you know, easy ways where I can help that person or advocate for that person without expecting anything in return. Nothing at all. And sometimes now, years down the road, someone will say, you know, I met you for coffee. You may not even remember it, but I remember you telling me about xyz. I'd like to bring this opportunity to your organization or help this corporate member join your organization. You know, if you invest in relationships, that's where the return comes from.

Hello my friends. Before we get back to today's episode, I want to ask you a question. Have you ever wondered how to elevate your team's negotiation game and how you can help the folks on your team have better, difficult conversations? At the American Negotiation Institute, we offer transformative keynotes and workshops tailored to empower professionals with top tier negotiation and conflict resolution skills. Whether it's a keynote for your next event or hands on training for your team, we've got you covered. Don't just negotiate. Master the art with the American Negotiation Institute. Click the link in the description to find out more. Elevate, negotiate and succeed. Absolutely. And generosity really is the key. One of the most popular books on negotiation was written by Adam Grant recently. It's called Give and Take. And it's all about the positive effects of generosity. And like you said, giving without expectation of getting something in return. And during those conversations, when you learn what makes them tick, when you learn their needs and desires for their organization, how do you propose those things to them? Do you wait for them to ask or do you begin giving suggestions immediately?

In that conversation? If there is a name that I can refer them to or an organization to refer them to individuals and, well, to connect them with, you know, I begin as soon as I see that the opportunity is there. Sometimes it may involve my doing some additional follow up and sometimes it may be that, you know, I see where your challenge is. I need some time to think about it and it may be a couple months down the road where bingo, you know, I light upon the right individual that they're looking for or opportunity that they're looking for.

That makes sense. Now. One of the other things that makes this strategy so powerful is the fact that it's genuine. You genuinely want to help because your, your vision and goals are aligned for the most part. And then the next part is the fact that you do a lot of the heavy lifting way before the actual negotiation, or at least I should say what most people would characterize as a negotiation where you're actually making the ask. You, you've invested so much into the relationship already that the ask becomes almost perfunctory.

Exactly. It's mostly coming in and doing that final handshake.

Right. Have you ever had an experience where you saw a powerful opportunity to connect or collaborate with an organization and after cultivating the relationship, you made the asking and then you experienced some resistance?

I have to think about that. There have been times I've experienced, I won't necessarily say resistance, but, but mainly concern of how will it impact that organization's ability to garner resources? You know, in the nonprofit world, it's about sponsorships, memberships, and people feeling like, you know, there's a limited sum of corporate dollars available for giving. And if we partner with this organization, then does that mean we're not going to be able to get our resources because it's been given over to others. And so my perspective with that is helping them understand how to enlarge the pie. If you look at a six inch pie, if you will, and you're struggling, you're all fighting for a slice of that pie. Envision instead building a 12 inch pie and dividing up those slices. You all get the same relative proportion of the piece, but the pie is bigger. And when you collaborate with people constructively and try to enlarge the pie, you can all get your slice of the pie, but it's a bigger pie, so you're getting more.

Right. And that is one of the quintessential elements of collaborative negotiation. You're collaborating even before the official collaboration begins because you're working with them to create a deal that is beneficial to all parties involved.

Absolutely. Absolutely.

And One of the things you said earlier, I want to really focus in on because people might say, oh, this isn't that important. But I think semantics matter in this point, at this point, because you say if there's ever resistance, you try to help them understand the benefits to them or the benefits to the community. What you didn't say is I convince them or I argue with them because it's not an imposition of your will. You're still, you're working together and it's an information game. You're learning and then sometimes you're teaching. There's no convincing. And approaching it that way alleviates pressure from both sides.

Absolutely. Time and timing is everything. When you try to rush people through a decision, people then begin to dig their heels in. No one likes to be rushed through a decision, if you will. And timing is everything. If an organization is dealing with a number of priorities that are really all encompassing, saying that time is not timing is not good for them. So it's time and timing.

Right. And what's interesting on that point is that you can bring forward a great deal to somebody and just because of the timing, they'll say no. Or because of the timing, even if it is a great deal, at that time, they won't have the cognitive capacity to analyze it thoroughly. And when people feel threatened or pressured, they're going to go with the safest answer, which is going to be no.

Absolutely.

Before we finish up this episode, I have a few questions for you. Does your job do professional development training? Are you looking for a workshop for your next conference? Does your profession require effective communication or dispute resolution? If so, a negotiation training seminar might be what you need. I've had the opportunity to do these trainings around the country, and I'd love to swing by your neck of the woods. Our customized negotiation seminars are as fun as they are informative. You'll not only discover the keys to negotiation and persuasion, you'll also have the opportunity to practice these skills in a safe environment with a negotiation simulation. And at the end of the seminar, you'll be able to communicate confidently, resolve disputes effectively, and get what you want out of your next negotiation. And as an added bonus, if you let us know far enough in advance, we can get these training certified. Certified for Continuing Education credits. Feel free to connect with me on LinkedIn or shoot me an email to learn more. Now, let's get back to the show. See, this is. This is one of those awesome conversations where I could just keep going and going and going.

This is really. Oh, this is this has been wonderful and I'm glad we've been able to get this on our schedules. Kwame, for sure.

I want to make sure that the listeners are able to maximize the value that they get out of this episode. So I'm going to make a free guide that will show them how to use negotiation to collaborate effectively in their companies or their organizations. So to you listeners out there, if you go to americannegotiationinstitute.com Barb, that's B A R B, you can get a free guide that'll show you how to use these awesome techniques that Barb showed us here today. And I'm also going to put a link in the description below so you can navigate to that easily. So let's leave the audience with one major takeaway. What is one thing that our listeners can do to be more persuasive?

Try to understand, truly understand the person or the organization who is in front of you and what their needs and pain points are. Work hard to do that, not for the benefit of what it might give you by doing it, but for the sheer opportunity to be of service for that organization.

I love it. This is perfect. And one last thing before you go. Can you give the Weld website and maybe talk about some upcoming events and other ways people can get involved?

Well, you know, we have this event coming up in the Columbus chapter on August 16th and it is going to feature one of the most dynamic men that I have ever met in the space of negotiation. Do you know who that might be, Kwame?

I have no idea. Who could it be?

We are going to showcase your talent to a group of amazing women who are excited to learn the art of negotiation. It's going to be August 16, 5:30 to 7:30 at the Fawcett center here in Columbus, Ohio. You can register for this event by visiting weldusa.org this is an event that you won't want to miss. You know, when it comes to negotiating and collaborating, it's an art and it's a science. And I think if you take that opportunity to hear what Kwame has to say, you will be better prepared for that next meeting or next opportunity where you strive to achieve your results and help other organizations in the process.

That sounds great. I think I'll be there.

I hope you will.

Good stuff. And oh, and as a special thank you, this just hit me, this episode with you. This should be the episode that takes our downloads over 100,000.

Wow. That would be fantastic. Love that number.

Me too. Me too. Well, thank you so much for joining us today. This was really great. Congratulations. You've just joined an elite club by listening to a full episode. You're now officially on the Negotiate Anything team. So welcome aboard. What most team members do is they subscribe to the podcast because that allows them to automatically get the latest episodes of the show. The best things in life lie on the other side of difficult conversations. Keep learning, keep practicing, and keep getting better. Your relationships will improve, your career will soar, and you'll have the confidence you need to get the most out of these crucial conversations. Again, thank you for joining the team. We're excited to have you, and I will see you in the next episode. I'll catch you later.