Highlight Reel: Mastering Real Estate: Leadership, Negotiation, and Strategy

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A successful negotiator is somebody who wins, right? Who gets to the win. They sell, let's say, take it from just sales. That person is a great negotiator because they sell the most. That's a pretty good blanket statement, I think. But there's a lot of people who negotiate to win for themselves. I want my price. I'm going to negotiate. You gave me my price, I won. I'm a great negotiator. You're not going to get every deal done that way.

Right? Right.

The greatest salespeople sell the most. Not just sell one thing for the most, you sell the most things. And I've always come at it by saying, I'm going to take myself, I'm going to leave myself outside of the negotiation. I'm not going to negotiate for you or for you. I'm going to negotiate for the deal. I negotiate for the deal. I don't negotiate for the buyer. I don't negotiate for the seller. And I'm not negotiating to win. I'm negotiating the other side to win. Because if the other side wins, then I win by default because a deal got done. If I go into it just saying, I gotta win, I gotta, my client's gotta win. I gotta get my client what they want. That's not what they want. You are a three year old negotiating for cookies and you've never grown up. So I think that's how we sell as much as we do. And that's how I think about negotiating. I'm going to give you another acronym. Okay, well, not really an acronym, but it's something I call the three F's. Follow up, follow through, and follow back. Great salespeople know how to follow up.

Forever.

Because it's not the client's decision. It's not, it's not up to them to decide when to work with you or not. It's up to you. They're gonna wake up one day and go buy something. And if you're not there, they're buying on the Internet, they're gonna buy with someone else. Follow through is what makes them stick with you because you gotta follow through with what you say you're gonna do. Say you're gonna send the stuff by 5 o', clock, send it by 4:59, otherwise don't be an adult and go back to elementary school. And then you follow back, which is, anyone that's ever done anything with you forever are now warm for you. Follow back forever. Never lose that person, never lose their referrals. They are, they've approved you, they've said yes to you at some point, but they're in your yes group until the day that you die.

Right?

And so a lot of people follow up and they persist by being annoying because they don't think and they don't actually make an effort. They don't follow up with value. They follow up by saying, hey, did you get this? Still want to buy you out there. Hello, you alive. Hello. Like, they're just, they are annoying and you are annoying when you do that. So how can you follow up with value? In the real estate world, you follow up with value by sending new listings, you send new comps, you send information about the market, you send an interesting article, you send a quick note that just says, hey, hope you're having a great week. Nothing new for you this week. Touch base with you later.

That's it.

Never expect a response ever. Dude, I followed up with people for five years with no response. And then they bought, right? And they bought because they almost felt bad for me. I honestly believe that because follow up is free. You know, quitting is forever. And I just, but also if someone says, hey, stop talking to me, then stop. Like, if they say, hey, I bought something with someone else, I'm good, thank you. Then stop. Like, you're, you know, don't be a lunatic. But I, dude, there's. My dentist follows up with me all the time. There's other dentists out there. I don't have to go to this damn guy. He's fine. There's other dentists. And I, I, I swear to God, I get my teeth clean more than anyone on this planet because this guy follows up with me all the time. And I'm like, I guess I should come see you. I don't know. I do. I He like emails me checking in on my teeth. He's like, how's the bite? And I'm like, I. I think it's fine. I guess I'll see you next Tuesday at 10. I think I put this guy through college, you know, his kids and stuff, but he follows up like a champ. He's really, really good at it. But it's with value. It's like with value. So just that's follow up with value. Otherwise. Otherwise don't. But there's always value you can follow up with that is not spam or.

Annoying hey listeners, I have a quick question. How long does it take you to get through an episode of Negotiate Anything? If you're like me, it could be a day or two simply because life and other work responsibilities get in the way. If you can relate, not to worry. I have the perfect solution. Join Negotiate Anything Premium to level up your negotiation skills in half the time With Ad Free Listening. Episode summaries and mini episodes that are exclusive to Premium, you can get your favorite expert insights in 10 minutes or less. Not only will this save you time, but it makes preparing for your difficult conversations just that much easier. Just download a quick mini episode or a key takeaway guide and you're on your way to negotiating more of the best things in life. Here's what you get when you join Premium First, Ad Free Listening. No more interruptions, just pure focused learning. Episode summaries and quick worksheets Quickly absorb the key insights and expert strategies with ease. Mini episodes and highlight reels. Get concise, powerful content on your favorite topics which are perfect for those on the go moments. Question and answer forums where you can ask me anything and get my expert advice on any of the difficult conversations you're having, whether it's at work or at home. And you'll get all of this for less than $10 per month. So what are you waiting for? Take my word for it. As a CEO, father, husband, entrepreneur and more, this is the best way to get your professional development journey in less time. Start your risk free seven day trial today. I'll catch you later. When it comes to real estate in particular and the circumstance regarding multiple offers, that's pretty nuanced. So can you give us a just a general overview of what looks like before we actually get into the negotiation skills and strategies?

Yeah. So we're living in a state that you know there are more buyers than there are homes that are on the market, so we are facing an inventory shortage And a housing shortage in many parts of the United States, but especially in central Ohio. And that's not something that's going to be corrected anytime soon. And I'll just make a little plug there that people that are saying I'm going to wait to buy shouldn't. Obviously, what's most important is that you find, you know, the home that you're looking for and that you're happy with. But waiting will cost you because it's a simple principle of supply and demand. So what happens in these scenarios is that a home will come to market and that home will not have just one interested buyer. They'll have 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. You know, there are homes that receive 15 offers. And as a buyer, you need to understand and work, be working with an agent who truly, truly is an expert in your marketplace so that they can set expectations for you, but then also so that they can position your offer for success. And it's not always, you know, the dollar amount. That's very important to understand because my clients, our offers are often accepted over clients, excuse me, other offers that had a higher dollar amount. And I guess we can get into that a bit later about exactly what I'm doing to make sure that my clients are successful and our offers are accepted. But yeah, so we're in bidding wars, essentially. And I do think that it's a really great kind of takeaway for anybody who like, enjoys negotia, because it's understanding how to position yourself for success if you want something that somebody else wants and you're going to be in situations like that for negotiations. It's not always just you have a conflict and it's you versus them. It could be you have, this is the goal, and there are two people jockeying for that goal, three people jockeying for that goal. And I often always like, go to kind of like sports because I feel like I'm like in this kind of competitive race to accomplish a goal.

Absolutely. And I think the analogy, it works because we are. It's multiple people competing over scarce resources. And then that's when the competitive nature starts to come in. And a lot of times that can cause a lot of emotionality. And that's why it's so important to have an expert on your side who can help you guide your strategy and your approach. And when I think about this multiple offer situation, I'm thinking about the expectation setting for clients. You mentioned that. So managing their expectations. And then after you manage those expectations, creating a competent offer that's actually competitive, and then we get into the negotiation side. Can you speak first to the challenge of managing client expectations in these markets?

Absolutely. It's funny because one of the things I was thinking about is, you know, gaining influence. And my ability to gain influence actually starts with being recognized as an expert in the market in which I'm selling homes. So. So my clients, who aren't even my clients, just people follow me on social media that live in the community, and they start to think of Candace Hall, Realtor, as the realtor you're going to go to to buy or sell a home if you need to in New Albany. So I'm already starting to gain that influence very early on. Oftentimes I'm being connected with somebody through social media, but very oftentimes it's through somebody else in the community or a referral. And then they've seen my work, they see what I do. They see that I'm winning for my clients in this marketplace. They see the caliber of homes that I'm selling, and that kind of sets the foundation of some trust. Of course, I think the biggest thing in these scenarios is the clients want to know that they're working for somebody who has their best interest at heart. My business model from the beginning has not been selling you a home. My business model is to be your agent for life. And I can't do that if I don't put your needs first and your goals first and just do what's best for you. And then, because we don't do. Actually, I personally don't do any paid advertising right now is through word of mouth, and that's very, very powerful. What my clients have to say about their experience with me is going to be echoed throughout this community because, again, I'm in a niche market where everybody knows everybody else. So taking care of your clients is, you know, extremely critical. And so I have that foundation of trust. And they can feel it. They can sense it. One of the things, too, when I'm thinking about, you know, being on a podcast talking about sales and negotiations, my opinion is that authenticity is the most important thing people are going to sense. If you're trying to pull one over on them or be salesy with them, you have to be of service to the client and find out what they need and how your skill set is going to help them achieve that goal.

What I love about this is that we are right down to the fundamentals. We're talking about building trust and being authentic. And I think a lot of folks who are in business trying to negotiate, they're trying to find these one liners, these zingers, these little things that they can say and do. But those persuasive endeavors will fail if you don't have a foundational level of trust. And a lot of times they might say that these negotiation strategies or expectation management strategies with their clients are not working. But I think if you rewind the tape and go all the way to the beginning of the relationship and you realize the problem isn't the strategies that you're using down the road. The problem is the fact that you don't have a strong relationship that is built on. On trust. And so you've been able to mobilize that in a way that has led to financial success and you've been able to close these big deals. But again, it starts with trust. So what is it that you're able to do early on in your relationship with the clients that really starts the ball rolling of positivity when it comes to building trust?

I think just getting to know them and understanding what their family needs so, you know, asking questions and being present and just coming from a position of service that's so important. And my background in hospitality, I think, has really helped me there. And it's just something you can feel in your interaction with somebody. If my clients are getting the sense that I genuinely want what's best for them, I had a phone call with somebody yesterday and you know, they're talking about selling their home and they're in a situation, where do they sell it now versus do they sell it next year? Their instinct, I'm sure, is that I'm going to tell them to sell it now because that's what's best for the salesperson in a situation. But I always table that. I don't care what's best for me ever. I care what's best for that client. Because if the client picks up on that, they're going to feel it, they're going to know. And if I don't do what's best for them and guide them with that genuine, you know, truthful, solid advice, they're not going to trust me. So it was funny because I was just like, talk to them yesterday. She said, well, we could maybe sell next year. And I said, well, if you could sell next year, I think your home value will go up. I think that you'll probably be able to sell your house for even more next year. So let's work through, like what fits best for you and your family right now. Let me connect you with a local lender so you can get all the information that you need. And that was it. I established a relationship and somebody who trusts me and knew that I wasn't going to, you know, right now is the best time to sell and then tell them some, you know, reason why they shouldn't wait until next year. But I guarantee you, if that person waits until next year, they're going to tell their friend or family member how I took care of them and I'm trustworthy and they're going to be thinking of me. When real estate is on the, you know, is top of mind for them because it's just, you know, it's something that as human beings, like innately we know when somebody is trustworthy and worth referring our friends and family to.

Do you want to get more of your favorite expert insights in a fraction of the time? Join Negotiate Anything Premium today. It's designed for busy listeners just like yourself. And premium is everything that you love about our traditional feedback just package to save you time and make it easier for you to apply our expert insights in your difficult conversations. There's no time to wait. Join our premium community now and get started on your journey towards earning more and negotiating for the life that you deserve. Make sure to start your 7 day free trial today. When you think about what it takes to be a successful agent, you have to be able to negotiate, and that's going to be a big part of it. So I'm really excited to dig into your expertise and listeners. Let me put this out here. Doug's prep. This is extensive. I am impressed. And I'm, I was telling him, I'm so excited. After going through this, this outline, I'm like, man, I can't wait to get to this so I can learn this stuff, you know. So the, the three things we're going to cover today, Number one, a genuine start. Number two, which is what I'm most interested in, is unintentional arrogance, which is great. And then number three, targeted patience. Oh, okay, Doug. So let's start off with a genuine start. So what does that mean?

Oh, yeah. So to be a genuine start, it's a great place to start, right? With a genuine start. So, Kwame, when you hear the word genuine, what do you think of when you hear genuine?

I would say real. Authentic.

Authentic? Yeah, authentic. Those are the first words that come to everybody's mind when they think about being genuine. So quite often if you're working for a company, a real estate agent doesn't really matter where you are. And any sales, they always tell you the best salespeople are authentic. They're genuine.

Right.

So just be who you are. Be natural. But I had a question, though, Kwame. What if you're sarcastic? That's your real you.

That's true.

Right. That's keeping it real. You know, suppose. Suppose you're just. Just mean and you're just grumpy person. Or maybe here's just a person that's book will walk over all time. Just so easygoing, too laid back. That's the real use. Should that show up?

Oh, probably not without some moderation there. That's a really good point.

Exactly. So that's. So it's about being genuine. And I do agree with it fundamentally, but I think to be genuine, you have to understand who you are. Right. And so one of the trainings that. One of the things I used to do in my trainings is I would start the classroom off by asking everyone in the room, what's your mindset? How are you feeling today? And people go around and they're anxious, they're excited, they're nervous and all these things. That's how they are feeling in the moment. And also it has to do with how they are physically. Are they tired? And that's what they would say sometimes. So knowing your mindset is very important. And to me, that's who you are in the moment. Right. However, I think there's more to you than that. That's one you. I actually think there's three U's, right. I don't know if my English teacher's gonna like that, but there's three U's. Y O, U, S. So here's. So we already just talked about you. And I call that the present you. And you have that historical you. This is all the experiences you've got from the time you were born all the way through the moment, just before you started this interaction or this negotiation or this whatever you're getting involved with. So you had a lot of experience, how you were raised, where you were born, whether you had money, whether you've taken classes, you've gone to college, you've just learned so much wins and losses. That's the historical you. All the way up to that crappy email that you just got a few moments ago. Right? So that's the historical you. And you have the present you that we just talked about. Right. And the third you, is that not really futuristic, but it's more that judgmental, that bias you. You're talking about the counterpart that you're working with. So what you're thinking that they're going to think about you, how you expect this to go. Right. Maybe they're going to. Oh, God, I hope they listen to me. You're thinking of all these things. I hope they're really engaged with me. Oh, I hope they don't just walk away. I hope I can keep them. And so it's all these expectations that you have for some. So it's kind of like a little bias or a judgment. You're kind of prejudging everything. So those are the three U's. So recognize where you are first.

Okay.

And, Kwame, guess what? Guess who else is at the party?

The three versions of the other person.

Exactly. The three thems. It's not just the three used as a three thems. So there's actually six of you right now. Six players in this production we like to call a conversation. And no wonder we can have a difficult time with it. We have to deal with all these personalities. We got to bring all these together. So it's quite a challenge. So in order to be genuine, first, recognize who you are. Okay. So that's one of the critical pieces to start off. So. And by the way, I really don't think that you can change the three thems. You can't control it. That is, you can't control who they are. They come with what they are. Their history is their history. How they're feeling. They retired. They woke up. That's who they are. What they're thinking about you, that's baked in. That's who they are. Right. However, I do believe that you can control the three use. Right. You can have some control over that. So this is why does it make sense, Kwame?

Oh, it makes a lot of sense. And I love the layers of this, too, Doug, because, again, one of the things that's tough about any type of skill that you're learning in any difficult conversation in any part of your life is that when we're new to it, not only is it completely new to us, but we might be so new to it that we don't even understand the different layers of what's happening.

Right?

Yeah.

And so I think a lot of people are having an experience as they're hearing this. They're like, aha. This makes so much sense. I can understand the complexity, and I can understand how this dynamic of the six individuals at the table, most of which we can't see, plays a role and the quality of our interaction. So I love that you're breaking this up so we can actually see these elements.

Perfect. So, you know I just said that there's a way that you can actually control the three use. And so let's try to take control of that. So one of the things I like to do is what I call triggering observation mode. So let's think about that, how we can trigger that in ourselves. So one of the things that before you have an interaction, you're going to a meeting, a negotiation, or you're meeting with a new client or whatever it is, take a break, actually take a break. Take a few moments beforehand so you can set your mind free. And you know, people take a break and they'll walk away from their desk and they'll get up and they'll walk to the water cooler or the coffee station and they spend the whole time complaining about, oh, I got so many emails. I got this going on. Oh, that last email was terrible. Oh, I got this next meeting coming up with my boss and he's all, always all over me. And you're just going through and you're just making things feel worse. And then you run into somebody at the coffee station and you talk to them as well and say, can you believe what Bob just said in that last meeting? And it's just going on and you're talking about it, and then you look at your watch and go, my next meeting starting in 30 seconds, let me run back to my desk. And then you jump into that meeting and did you have a break? Was that a break at all? You just relived all of your horrible situation that you just dealt with. It's like going to see a bad movie. Oh, you know what? I love that bad movie so much. I'm gonna go watch it again. So why replay all those negative things? It doesn't even make sense. Right?

Yes. Mike, you just set the stage for us when we talk about negotiating the long game. What does that mean to you?

Sure. So, I mean, I think when we think about commercial real estate, it's a long sales cycle. So the transactions that we work typically are going to involve multiple parties over multiple years. And we're usually working on transactions with a smaller group of people that we're going to see over the course of a career time and time again. So reputation and how we carry ourselves is super important. That credibility that we bring to the table when we're making recommendations or advising our clients on negotiating strategy is really built over, you know, a career. And so when we think about everything, it really kind of comes down to the long game, not what about what's going to happen a year or two what's going to happen over five, 10, 15 years?

Absolutely. And now here's the thing. So folks are going to hear this and they're going to say, of course, yeah, that makes sense. But then when it comes to the actual practice, we often forget this fundamental truth. So in the moment, what makes it so hard for people to keep this in mind when they're actually in the middle of the negotiation?

Well, I think certainly, you know, just the emotional component of it, you know, when we're talking about doing transactions, there's the financial side of it, you know, if the transaction goes sideways or it blows up, there is risk there that this, you know, individual or company has spent, you know, a lot of time and money on that and did not necessarily get the outcome. There's just frustration with the, the time that could be spent on getting to this particular point. And then there is the, the perceived loss of whatever that outcome is going to be. And that potentially could mean, you know, challenges to somebody's business. It, you know, challenges somebody, you know, not being able to achieve what they wanted. So they start feeling those frustrations when all those things start going sideways or don't happen. And so it's, it's ultimately trying to find a way to keep that emotional side in check. And I do think, you know, emotion does play a part in negotiations. And I think understanding, you know, people's motivations in negotiations is super important. And look, I think you can use people's emotions as leverage potentially like we were kind of talking about. But in the same sense, when we're advising, you know, our professionals, it's, look, you have to think long term with everything that you're doing. Your reputation is your most important thing. Given the fact that you're going to be working on transactions with these people for probably the rest of your life.

Absolutely. And the emotions, I tell you, Mike, every time we go into this, emotions come up. And I remember I was doing this one presentation with Sotheby's one time and I had this survey I put up. I was like, what's the hardest part of negotiation? Emotion management or negotiation strategies? And it was 97%. It's like this frustrating, ever present force that will have a massive impact on the negotiation. And if we don't understand how to manage it, both in ourselves and others, we're going to really struggle. And one of the things I like about your experience is that you are managing people who are high performing negotiators. And a lot of times you have to kind of talk them off of the Ledge when those emotions start to take over, can you kind of paint the picture for that?

Yeah, and it's, it's interesting. You know, we spend a lot of time and energy training them never to hear the word no. And then I'm the guy that gets to come in and tell them no on something. It's always interesting. And, and I do at times have to ask them when we're negotiating or something like internally, you know, do they really care about the outcome or do they just want to win this conversation? And by the way, that disarms them so many times because ultimately I think negotiations can be competitive. And so for me, really trying to understand how invested in the outcome, are they. Do they really want to see that? And why they want to see it is. Is really important. But yeah, you're right. I take more of a coaching role. And everything we do with our professionals, I'm not actively involved in their negotiations with, you know, occupiers or owners of real estate. But often they're coming to me when they're trying to think about the strategy of moving a transaction along or keeping something from potentially falling apart. Some of the things we do just, is to understand, like, are they just, you know, do they need to vent? Because I do think one of the things that we offer is that opportunity for them just to get that steam off their chest. And that is a helpful thing. And that really does help keep the emotions in check because we all carry an ego around. And when you get into these things, especially with very successful people that have gotten really incredible outcomes, you know, they do think that they have an ability that other folks don't. And so when that ego is not recognized or bruised, it can be challenging. And when I use the word ego, I wouldn't say that our folks have an outsized ego. I think we all do. I just think when you're in those complex, high pressure negotiations, one of the things you have to be really aware of is like, is your ego hurting or helping you in this negotiation?

Absolutely. And when you think about building the best negotiator, there's no such thing as the best negotiator. Just, let's say an effective negotiator. Let's think of it kind of like a recipe. It will call for a little bit of ego. It'll for a little bit of competitive spirit. But then if you add emotions to that, sometimes, like we accidentally dump a ton of ego and then we end up with a dish that's not that great. And so you don't want to, like, pull away those things, because that's part of what makes them great negotiators. It's about balancing it.

Yeah. And I'm just gonna. I think what we find when we are really high performing is we have teams of people providing advice to our clients. And so usually a lead there. But I find that when we have a team of individuals surrounding a client or working on a particular project, that does provide for a lot of diversity of thought and then really just a more balanced. Yes. Strategy, given the fact that it's not necessarily just one individual.

Oh, let's talk about that. That's really cool. Because I think again, when we think about negotiation strategy, a lot of times we don't think about the composition of our negotiation team or fully appreciate that we are, in fact, negotiating as a team. Let's break down this kind of team sport aspect of this, because if we can understand it, then we could really utilize that diversity of thought with intentionality.

Yeah. So I think you got to diagnose one. How many parties are involved in the negotiation? What's the outcome that you're looking to achieve? What's the complexity of it? I do strongly believe that you have to have somebody that is. Takes ownership of one side of it, so it can't be, you know, multiple opinions. But an ideal team setup would be where you have a. A lead, you know, our client or whoever serving understands who that lead, but can. But can feel comfortable tapping into some depths of other resources to get, you know, varying but similar opinions. And I think that diversity of thought that we bring there is really, really helpful when our clients are essentially usually more than one person making a decision as well too. And so I think one of the things that we've seen that's really changed in commercial real estate, especially on the like, when I say occupier, that's large tenant side, is that there's really not one person making that decision. And so if we were to talk about like, office occupiers, folks that are going out and setting up headquarters for office space before, it maybe would just be really the CEO and the CFO that were involved in that type of decision. And now the probably 10 people that are involved in that, where you may have like the cto, the, you know, the certainly the CFO and COO and all your C suite, but the people team or HR now is way more involved in those types of decisions. And so having folks within our team to be able to talk to the important things that all of those individuals are looking for becomes key because maybe our lead is really savvy on the finance side, but there might be somebody in our team that we have built that can really speak to like, what this headquarters is going to do for them from a recruitment and retention standpoint and can talk through like what that strategy would look like, which is a really different strategy than what the, the finance side would be. So we're using all of that to knit together what our overall recommendation would be. And then, you know, look, that's probably more of a, of a recommendations set up than a negotiation set up. But when we're having all of those experts, we're then using that to create a negotiation strategy to help our client get what they're looking to accomplish. We know whatever that is for that particular client.

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