Navigating Emotional Interactions: Insights from Dr. Kriti Mohan

Hello, my friend, and welcome to another exciting episode of Negotiate Anything. Thanks for joining us today. With over 10 million downloads and listeners from more than 180 different countries, it's dedicated listeners just like you who have made Negotiate Anything the number one negotiation podcast in the world. I'm your host, Kwame Christian. I'm a business lawyer, mediator, author, and the proud CEO of the American Negotiation Institute. Now, before we get into today's insightful conversation, I have a golden opportunity for those of you who recognize the power of negotiation in your professional lives. Have you ever found yourself wishing that you could navigate those high stakes conversations with more confidence? Or perhaps you're looking to empower your team with the art of persuasion and conflict resolution? At the American Negotiation Institute, we've crafted specialized keynotes and workshops tailored for those very needs. We've transformed the negotiation skills of professionals worldwide and we're eager to do the same for you. We believe the best things in life are on the other side of difficult conversations. And our goal is to help you improve your lives and the lives of those around you, one difficult conversation at a time. Don't let another challenging conversation leave you second guessing. Click the link in the description to discover how we can help you find confidence in conflict, negotiate better deals, and have stronger relationships. Because in the world of business, every conversation counts. And now, without further ado, let's jump into the interview. Krithi, thanks for joining us today.

Thank you for having me.

Hey, it's our pleasure. So how would you get us started? By telling us a little bit about yourself and what you do.

Perfect. Well, I'm Krithi Mohan. I'm a plastic surgeon here in Houston, Texas. I actually specialize in all cosmetic breast surgery. So all cosmetic breasts, all things implants and breast related. My practice takes care of primarily all females and I run a female run business with all female staff. And I have the honor of taking care of almost 6 to 700 women every year.

Wow, that is incredible. Well, kudos to you.

Thank you.

It seems like you're very mission driven too, so that's really admirable.

Yeah, no, it's. I really, truly love what I do and I feel really, really honored to be able to just do it in the way, very unique way that we do and we deliver care to patients.

Love it. And of course, as you're delivering care to patients, communication is going to be an essential aspect of that and that's what we're going to explore today. So I'm looking forward to digging into this and me too. When we think about the communication that you have as a plastic surgeon with your. Actually, let's not even focus it on patients, just in general. What are the types of difficult conversations you're having in general? Day to day?

Yeah. I mean, I think as a doctor, as a surgeon, obviously you're interacting with your patients on a constant basis, whether that's from the beginning or later. But in my case, you know, running. I run a. I run a large business as well, small business, but I take care of all of my staff and all of my employees. And my staff boasts about almost 20 people, if you count all the operating rooms that I run as well.

So.

So on a daily basis, I'm managing so many people's emotions, their feelings, their expectations, the things that are said and unsaid, what's going on in people's lives. And I always find that it's so important, and I tell my staff this every day, to remember, to be so intentional and remember that people have so much going on in their lives and communicate and over communicate. And that goes for our patients, but it's in reference to them as well when they're interacting with each other. And it's so important for me to kind of set that stage for them as well.

Oh, this is good. We're. We're going deep very quickly. This is great. I love how you talked about the necessity of managing emotions and feelings, and I think that's really important for professionals in general to keep in mind, because a lot of times when we go through school, we become so focused on the craft itself that we forget that communication is an essential part of that craft and it requires us to manage emotions. So can you kind of dig deeper into that and talk to the. Speak to the tension that professionals might face?

Yeah, I think when you go through something as rigorous as a medical training, so it's so long. Four years med school, if you're a surgeon, six years training. This idea of this kind of almost becoming robotic. Right. Because in order to do what you do, be able to take care of the patients that you do, see the really tough things that you do and be objective, this coping mechanism that I think is taught and also developed. And so we see, you see when you know the people that become doctors, we become doctors because you want to care for people, you love people, you want to take care of the world. You're idealistic in some ways. And then as you go through this entire training process, it's almost like it's beaten out of you. You know, that compassion level drops that empathy level drops just because you do. It's a survival tactic. So then when you come out of it, how do you learn to reconnect in that way and yet be objective in that way? And I think that is the really true art form that makes a physician be able to commune with their patients and be human, but then at the same time, just be able to be objective and have the hard conversations and also tell them what they really need to hear. And that's. That's truly an art form.

It really is. And I love the fact that we're focusing on the arts of it, because there's no book that you can go to that specifically outlines what to do. But listen, if you want something close, check out my books.

Taking notes.

Exactly. Let's put that out there. But all jokes aside, it's tough, and I think that's what makes it so challenging, because we, as we go through school, we're always taught there's a right answer, but in this, there's no clear right answer. And so we just have the best we can with what we have. And I think people who are in the helping professions, whether it's social work, law, medicine, whatever it happens to be, we have that balance where we recognize, oh, we have to deal with some heavy things. And so we have to protect ourselves and create that distance. But at the same time, that distance creates the. A problematic distance between us and others that makes it more difficult for us to connect.

Yeah, I think disconnect, that's there. And patients or whoever we're communicating with, almost view professionals, whatever area that is kind of on a pedestal, or even if not a pedestal, just maybe at arm's length, like something a little less accessible. And it's something to be very aware of in crafting these kind of conversations.

Agreed, agreed. And I think it goes back to one of the things that you said earlier, which is being intentional about the way that we interact with people. Can you go deeper on that point?

Yeah, I think when I meet with patients, it's all about establishing some kind of. Of bond of rapport. And for me, in my business, to be honest, I started using social media years and years ago when I first started, actually, like prior to Covid, when it really exploded during COVID And social media for me has really provided this platform to help educate patients on a wider platform, so then they get to know my personality, how I talk, how I speak, my values. And so by the time, a lot of patients nowadays even get to me, they have a little bit more of an understanding of what is this about? What are her priorities? Do my goals align with this person? So by the time they walk into my office and sit in my consult room, they've already decided whether we can have an open and honest conversation, or they've made the decision that I'm going to consider if we can have this open and honest conversation. Because the truth is, no matter what I do, if that person doesn't feel comfortable telling me their truth, we're never going to be able to be intentional and have any type of rapport.

Bingo. Yeah, I'm really fascinated with your strategy, too, because when you're thinking about social media. Because, of course, yeah, social media is. You can promote your business, promote your brand and things like that, but you're also letting the world know who you are. And that's why it's so important to be authentic when we're on social media. Because that avatar that we put out of ourselves, the closer it is to who we are, we are almost starting the relationship off with people at a different level because they may not ever have met you or spoken to you, but they almost feel like they have.

They know you.

Easier for them to open up.

Yeah. And I'll tell you, I never even. I started to do this, and we're talking about intentionality, but I really didn't. I didn't even think about it in that way. You know, I just did it. And I was like, I'm going to be real to myself. I'm not going to put anything out there that's not me. And I did it. But then time after time, when people would walk in and say, I can't believe I'm meeting you, I feel like I already know you, things like that. And it just made me realize how much more meaningful it was or could be. And that's really helped me, honestly. It's helped me really build very deep relationships with patients.

Incredible. And so, listeners, you consider it research. Follow Kriti on Instagram because it's. It is a masterclass that you put on with the consistency of your content. It's a really great example of how you can be professional, but also intentional and authentic all at the same time. And I consider that part of the persuasive process, too. And when you are being authentic and real, it's not manipulative. It's just, like you said, being intentional. Because you put that foot forward. People feel like they know you, and now you can start that conversation off with great depth, and that helps you to become better at what you do. As A surgeon because you have more information.

Yeah. And I think, you know, I think that people are smarter than we give them credit for. People know when people are being disingenuous or not authentic. And you can do whatever you like. And that's everyone's business. Everyone's platform or method of communication is different. But I really do think that it's pretty obvious out there. And so for me, it's easy and it makes it much more fun as well.

Agreed, Agreed. And I want to go back to something that you told your staff because there is a lot of profundity in this approach here too, because you didn't just tell them to communicate. You said communicate and over communicate. Tell me about that over communication aspect.

I think that's something so we hear, I think in professional school, definitely in medical school and in residency, I heard this about, you know, communication, but it was about setting expectations. So the good people that we learned from, whatever professional arena it was, they told you this idea of setting expectations. Right. And this is something that I, for me, in my consultations and my communications with patients has always been really important. And so I teach my staff this. And that's where that over communication comes in, is we know we do this every day, eight times a day, 30 times a day for this one person. This is their one time. This is something that they've been planning for so long, that they've been looking forward to for so long. And you know, but they don't know what to expect. They don't know any of it. Right. So it's our 100% job to communicate anything and everything and over communicate that over, share that with them. Because you have no idea what this person knows to ask, knows to question what their baseline level of knowledge is. They may be, you may not even understand their emotions behind it. They may be scared. And it's your job to figure that out. And so if you over communicate all those aspects, then at least you can go to bed at night saying, I did my best.

Hello, my friends. Before we get back to today's episode, I want to ask you a question. Have you ever wondered how to elevate your team's negotiation game and how you can help the folks on your team have better, difficult conversations? At the American Negotiation Institute, we offer transformative keynotes and workshops tailored to empower professionals with top tier negotiation and conflict resolution skills. Whether it's a keynote for your next event or hands on training for your team, we've got you covered. Don't just negotiate. Master the art with the American Negotiation Institute. Click the link in the description to find out more. Elevate, negotiate, and succeed. Brilliant. Yeah. This helps to overcome the curse of knowledge. And so with the curse of knowledge, this is the psychological tendency to get to this point where we have learned something, but at the same time forgetting what it feels to not know that thing. And so sometimes this leads to problems with communication and setting expectations. Because we just say everybody knows.

Everybody knows this.

Well, not everybody's a surgeon, you know.

Correct. Or they wouldn't be here.

Exactly, exactly. So I love this approach of over communicating because it puts yourself in a position where you've done the best you can to communicate and let people know what's coming. And then, you know, brief aside, as a lawyer. Yes. Please make sure you cover your bases by communicating effectively.

Of course.

But also the person feels really respected and appreciated because there are going to be times when you over communicate and the person's like, I already know that. But you'd never want to assume, hold back and assume that they already know because the person would still be appreciative of the fact that you took the time to still communicate.

I definitely agree with that. Yeah, I definitely agree with that.

Yeah. No, this is great. And now let's talk about some of those scenarios where you're having a conversation, let's say, with a patient, and it becomes more difficult. Tell us what those types of conversations look like.

Yeah, I mean, this happens all the time. Right. So this may happen in a situation where patients goals and expectations may not align with what's possible for their anatomy or safe for them, and they can't be expected to know that. But it's on your burden of proof to explain that. And at the end of that conversation, they may still not be happy with that. Right. Because they still want something different. And I think at that time is when it's so important to have built that rapport with somebody to be able to have this. There's a want match that's not happening here. Right. And so if you have a relationship and trust with that person built a little bit, they at least can hear the hard words that are being said and they can maybe trust that you're wanting what's best for them or giving them some information that they can then decide what, what they want to do with. I think sometimes we think that, you know, our job as doctors is to make everyone feel right or fix everything. That's of course what you want to do, but your first job is to do no harm, and it's for you to explain that to the patient.

Absolutely. And let's focus on that last thing that you said too. We feel the need to make everybody feel better and fix everything. And I think that's something that a lot of people, especially people pleasers or people who like to be supportive and help other people here, we all struggle with that in one way or another. And what you said about recognizing that what you telling people might not make them happy, that's so powerful because we have to recognize that our only responsibility is to do the very best we can with the information that we have. I'm going to communicate this in the most respectful manner possible and understand at the same time that you might not like what I have to say, but.

That'S still my responsibility.

Bingo. Bingo.

And I think sometimes we feel so uncomfortable as a society sitting with negative emotion and just it creates such discomfort that we feel the need to fight it or not experience it. And the truth is, life is 50% positive emotion and 50% negative emotion. And that's just the up and down roller coaster that we all, as humans live.

Yes. Oh, powerful. And it's funny, you know, I'm in this business, but I'm also a person at the same time. And it's always important to remember the fact that these negative emotions are overall human experience. And the fact that somebody's feeling this doesn't necessarily mean that something's wrong. It might just be the process that they need to go through. And that's okay.

Yeah. And if you didn't have that negative, then you wouldn't get to feel the positive. And that's what that balance is all about. And I think being in a situation where difficult conversations happen, though, we forget it, especially when someone has come to you to help them and provide a service. I think as physicians, especially in cosmetic plastic surgery, there's this desire to just do it anyway. I think we see it a lot botched, for example, and all those things where there's a lot of disservice that's done to patients out there and maybe not, you know, intentionally with wanting to take advantage of people, but because we're trying to avoid this kind of negative connotation or difficult conversation.

Absolutely, yes. I think that's really important to remember that a lot of times damage can be done simply because we're trying too hard to please other people and we can't put those barriers in place. So, Krithi, this was a masterclass. I really appreciate you coming in today and having this conversation. And for the people who want to get in touch and follow you on social media or might have medical needs. What's the best way to get in touch with you?

So they can always visit our website, which is www.thebreastdoc or thebody.com. either one will get you there. And then you can always follow social media. So my personal Instagram is Dr. Krithymohan, so my full name spelled and my practice page is Karavino. Total beauty. So we have the whole gamut. I like people to see surgery. I like them to get to know me. I like them to get all the education on all things breast. So it's all out there.

Amazing. Kriti, thank you so much for joining us. Really appreciate it.

Thank you for having me.

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