Why Tough Leaders Fail — And What Robert Irvine Learned Too Late

Hey, I'm Kwame Christian, and you are about to step into the world of Negotiate Anything, the number one negotiation podcast in the world, where we teach you how to make difficult conversations easier while getting more of what you want in the process. Each episode is packed with practical tips and strategies from the experts. We delve into negotiation, conflict resolution, and leadership skills that are crucial in both business and and in life. Whether you're closing a deal, managing a team, or navigating personal relationships, Negotiate Anything provides you with the tools you need to succeed. Our conversations are real, relatable, and most importantly, rooted in practicality. So if you're ready to transform your conversations and elevate your negotiation skills, join me on Negotiate Anything. Subscribe and listen on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you love to listen. Let's make every conversation a winning negotiation. All right, here we go. I got the Robert Irvine black Polo on.

I love it.

Ready to go. It's Halloween and I've got my favorite character on. We are good to go. I thought you'd like that. And then also for me and my wife, when we were in grad school, it was wild because your show meant so much. So wild because I always had dreams about entrepreneurship and I learned from you from a distance.

Entrepreneurship is such an amazing thing. I have now 16 companies, 8,000 employees, and it never stops. It gets more exciting every day. And the more you get out there, and I know you have a lot of, I know, downloads, whatever, but the more you get out there amongst. Where do you live?

I'm in Ohio. Columbus.

So we got to get you down to Tampa to the CEOs conference. Right. The more you get around these kind of people that are multi billionaire people, you're the type of person that they hire to solve problems. I mean, look, I work for some big companies now, very big Fortune 500 companies have for the last 10, 12 years, and they pay ridiculous amounts of money for what I consider simple fixes. But it's about Kwame's putting yourself around the people that A, can afford you, but B, want to listen to you. I think that's really important for you and for me and for anybody else. It's an entrepreneur.

Yes.

And I, you know, and it took me a while to figure that out, but I, I finally got a blueprint for it, so.

Well, let's talk about the blueprint, Robert, because you've. You've had so much success from back in England when you were in the military to being a chef and then being having this celebrity career, plus all of these businesses. But you've been able to find success in each and every realm. And conversations are an integral part of that process for you. So in general, when you think about conversations or human interaction, what is your, your philosophy and your approach?

It's really simple. I have done most of my business and you'll laugh when I say this or you'll cry. Either way, as done in a bar, right? I'm drinking tequila. If I do a big dinner somewhere, I always toast the team with a tequila afterwards. And I can tell you whether it be nascar, whether it be uso, whether it be American Airlines, whether it be. I can name a thousand things. All my deals have been done or at least began in bars by just saying, hey, can I buy you a drink? When they say, thank you, chef for the meal, can I buy you a drink? Yes. What do you do? And that's the conversation. So, so when I say conversations are important, I would say conversation at the beginning. Relationships are the important part.

Right? Right. And it's, it's so simple, but at the same time, so many people miss it because they get distracted with other things. And so for people who, who are missing this simplicity and are forgetting about the relationship based on your experience, what are the causes of that mistake?

There's a couple of causes. I think ego is one, right. Because people are getting their own business or in positions of power all of a sudden feel that they are untouchable or unlistenable or commun. Communicating a bull. That's a word I just made up. But. Or can't communicate. And, and by that I mean if you. Look, I give you an example. If I have a general in the army, a private doesn't go to a general, it goes to a sergeant, a corporal, a sergeant, a warrant officer, etc. Etc. Doesn't go straight to the general. Or that's how it used to be. Nowadays they saw, when I was in the military, I couldn't go up to a one star and I worked for a two star admiral. I couldn't just go up and say, hey, hey, Bob, hey, John, hey, sir. You know what's going on in the military today? And today's military, you can do that. Which is kind of a real 360 from where I grew up in. So I was always, yes, sir, no sir in the military. But when I came out it was still yes, sir, no sir. But then I would ask another question and say, or not another question, a question, say, why do you do it this way? Without being disrespectful. Because that then garners conversation, right? And when I got out of the military, it was, oh, can I buy you a cup of coffee or a drink? And tell me what you do. What's the biggest problem? What's your biggest headache? Why is that? And, and, and the questions. And if you look at my shows, there's only five questions I ask in rapid succession and it's based on their business. Why did you get into it? Number one, what were your visions? Number two, when you got into the business, was your wife included in that decision or did you make it on your own? Were your children consulted? And where are you now? Wow.

Oh, that's fascinating.

That's really fascinating why that's important to me. It's because we as men in a, in a what I consider up until recently, by the way, I'll say that a male dominated business world that's changed dramatically over the last 10 years. I'd say more so over the last five. Now we've got female CEOs, which is amazing because women are way smarter than men. Believe me. Really, I'm not kidding. And I'm not just saying that for you. I really believe that women are emotional, but they're really smart. And I'll give you an example in a second. But the reason I ask these questions even on the show is because by the time I've asked the first question and you're answering the first question, I've already got to the fifth question. So by the time you're answering me now, you're confused of what I ask you and you're telling me the truth. It's an old interrogation technique they used in the military many, many years ago and it still works to this day. And I can tell you I've used it on numerous CEOs of Fortune variant companies and got real information in less than 10 minutes, then they would never share with their closest secretary of 22 years or assistant or whatever, or their mother. It's really interesting because then you can start to unravel what's going on with their business.

This is interesting. So, so you, so you have the five questions, but we also have the setup where we're talking about just breaking down the barriers with food, with drink, creating a true connection with the person. And if you're. Let's go deeper into this because I think this would be fascinating for folks because high level people like CEOs and I know you've met with all levels of people from small business owners to presidents and heads of states, and you can get them to share. But especially the higher you get, oftentimes the bigger the ego gets. And they come in with this defensive barrier, protecting themselves. They have confidential information they want to protect. They have an image that they want to protect. They want ideas that they want to protect. So let's go deeper. How do you get them to open up again?

Trust is number one, right? I think they have to be able to trust you. When you first meet somebody, you don't have that trust. But what you do have before you walk in the door, and let me tell you, when you're going to meet any CEO or any VP or any, anybody of any rank in any organization, they're going to have already done their research on you, believe me. They'll have a dossier on you, believe me. When you walk in the door, authenticity is the number one thing I tell everybody. Don't try and be something you're not when you're not that person. I'm the same to you as I am to the President, United States, whoever they are. I don't mix words. I tell you as it is, and then I tell you how you're going to do it. And that's a true story where I'm concerned with food and operational stuff that I do. And I think, I think if you're authentic, authenticity will always ring through. If you're passionate, you'll see it. Number one, it's a, it's a. It's a thing you can't. You can ask a question of me. I'm going to tell you the answer as it is. The way I say it, almost like, what's the, what's the guy I was on watching last night? The, the sports Senator? Stephen.

Oh, Stephen A. Smith.

Smith, yes. I was watching him last night and I was so. I was so. He's not a guy that I've ever watched before. He's not a guy that, that I'm not a sports guy. So I would never watch him. But he was on a political show last night and his answers and his questions were very thoughtful. But he was very. He was very authentic in his answers when he gave it to the audience because he didn't know what was coming. And automatically I was drawn to him because of his authenticity. When somebody tried to put words in his mouth, he said, no, stop. This is exactly what I said and how I said it. And I think CEO of Walmart or whatever. And I walk in, he knows who I am. A, from a TV show, B, because I sell a lot of business, do a lot of business with him. But B, he knows that on a Saturday when he invites me to a, a Saturday morning meeting with two of thousand of his closest associates, I'm not going to change. I'm Robert Irvine. I'm the same. And I give you an example. Doug McMillan. When I first met him, the C, the chairman or CEO of Walmart, I'd been on a flight all night. I'd done a live show the night before somewhere else, 5,000 people signing. It was six o' clock in the morning. I was dog tired. I jumped in a hotel shower, change, got to the Walmart place where I'm speaking. And Patti LaBelle was there, by the way. I didn't even know she was. And that's a true story. That's how, you know, like how I am. And a guy came up and he says, oh, Robert, thanks so much for coming. He had a pair of jeans and a T shirt on. I said, oh, nice to meet you. What's your name? What do you do? He said, oh, I'm Doug McMillan. I'm the CEO of Walmart. And my team just cringed. He just laughed. And I said, that's a good gig if you can get it, huh? And that broke the ice completely. And from that day forward, we've been friends ever since. So, you know, I think when you, that authenticity piece is just be real. Don't put airs and graces and brag and all that kind of stuff that people tend to do when they. You don't need to impress anybody. You're there already because they want you there for a reason. They're already impressed with you, otherwise they wouldn't invite you to there.

Yeah.

So you don't need to blur all that stuff.

You're right. And it's so funny because at the end of the day, you go, you think back to when we were kids. What do our parents tell us? Hey, be yourself, you know, and be trustworthy. Someone who's worthy of being trustworthy.

Because of social media and trying to keep up with the Joneses. And look, I've been there, done that. It doesn't work. You, you, you know, early in my career, I thought once I made TV I was the biggest guy on the planet, Right? And then you realize that he's just this little guy on a TV show. Then days that really people can or can't tune into will or won't listen to you. Now it's very different because you're in 170 countries, you know, a billion viewers, a business, entrepreneurship, you know, people that want to to get better. And I don't think I've changed since. Maybe a little softer now because I listen a little bit more. But, you know, I used to go in and. And just railroad. I don't care what your feelings are. And that's why I said when I told you about the. The five things I asked. Now they're really important because what's the word I would use? Empathetic leadership. Understanding that, you know, maybe your mom has autism or your mom fell down the steps, or and you come into work and you've got a bad. Having a bad day because your family's had a bad day and you're somewhere else. I need to know that your son or daughter is autistic. And I'm going to say to you, hey, Connie, you know what? Go home. I've got you. Take what time you need. Go and do your thing. I'm still going to pay you. Just take care of your business first. What does that do? Number one, it tells them that I care about them. Number two, they come back and out of this world because you have. You have taken care of them and their family. They're going to be the best associate, employee, friend, whatever you want to call that on the planet. I'll give you an example of that. I go to a coffee shop, Wawa, in Tampa, Florida. And I was making coffee one day and I said to the girl, how are you doing today? And she said, doing great, thank you. I said, well, how long you work with Wawa? And she said, oh, four months. And. And she told me whole life story, literally, you know, divorced, four kids, worked at another coffee shop. I won't say who it is, but when she came to Wawa at Christmas, she had no money for presents, no money for kids, couldn't pay bills. Her manager at Wawa found out, called the corporate office. The corporate office bought everything on a wish list for her kids, paid her bills, and she still. She'd be a lifelong employee of Wawa because of that. And I think that's what. That's what empathy and empathetic leadership is. Understanding your people that work with you, alongside you.

That'S powerful. That's powerful. And Robert, I cannot let you get away with this. You just. You just slip this in. Because you said, now you've become more empathetic, right? And remember, I watched hundreds of your episodes. You used to eviscerate people. And I know, even my wife and I, Robert, to this day, in horrible British accents, quote some of your zingers.

Yeah. There's a Few memes out there.

So. So think about the success you've already had in your career, right? You from, from the outside looking in. You have everything. You have the books, you have the businesses, you have the TV show. You were in the military, you still work with the military. And yet deep into your career, you made this shift to become more empathetic. What changed for you and how did you go about making that change?

I think for me, it was an episode I did. And My daughter was 16 at that time. She's 24 now. So, you know, eight years ago. 10 years. Yeah, it was longer than that 10 years ago. And there was a young man that was 700 pound autistic, in a wheelchair, very rare disease, gonna die. And I went in there like a whirlwind because we only have 48 hours. And it's a tough. It's real. It's no BS. It's just get in there, see it, measure it, figure it out and fix it. And it's so funny because LJ was his name. And we fixed the restaurant and I took a door off a, a closet or it was a service station because I don't like doors on service stations. I want to see it clean and all that kind of stuff. And then just before we opened the doors, after 48 hours of real, like, intense work, and I mean really intense, I said to Tom, my build, I said, that wall doesn't have a picture. I need a picture on that wall. And it's just so people would walk past it and see it. That's all.

Yeah.

And it had to fit the colors of what I just did the restaurant in. So he went into where we took everything out of a pod and he found this picture and he, and he tacked it up two minutes before we opened the door. Literally, he said, is this okay? I said, yeah, put it up. Well, we let the owners in, let the son in his wheelchair in. Now he's 300 pounds, autistic. He. He came in the wheel, they came in the wheelchair. And then all of a sudden he glanced in this, this service station, saw this picture and jumped out of his wheelchair. I mean, grabbed me and took me to the floor. I mean, literally put me on the floor. And I'm like, I'm like, what's up? What's going on? What, you know, what's happening? And over go the crew and everybody's going nuts because I'm on the floor and. Are you okay? I'm like, yeah, I'm great. Don't. Whoa. What's lj, what's this? And his mum piped up and said, that's the painting that he went on, a Make a Wish foundation. He painted that picture, right? So if that's not serendipity, I don't know what is. Or God, God's interaction. Because I didn't pick it. Tom dared because it was the colors of the restaurant. Just before. So that happened. And then just before, his mom gave me an envelope and just started to cry. And I said, this is unusual. I'm giving you a restaurant and you'll give me an envelope. And she opened it. I said, what is it? I said, I opened it and I said, what is it? She said, it's my eviction notice to my house. We're being evicted. And at that moment I'm like, you have a son who I know is dying. I have a restaurant full of people, including my 16 year old daughter. We are filming and this is all live. We don't stop and cut and tape and da, da, da. I open it up and I said, okay, they need 70, $80,000, whatever it was. I said, oh, two, three. My brain kicks in, I pick up the phone and we're live. We're doing the whole thing. And I called Mark Summers, who's my producer. I say, I need $10,000 from, from you. And he's. I said, don't ask why. And he said, why? I said, I told you, don't ask why. I said, just say yes. And he said, yes. I said, good, okay. I went, I wrote a check, right, for 20, $30,000. He gave me 10 and I did 20. And we, I said, I'm gonna write this check, I'm gonna give it to your, your mortgage company until we, so we can settle everything down so you don't get thrown out, right? Evicted. Then we went on with the show. Then we like revealed the restaurant. Then we were, you know, but all this was before the reveal of the restaurant was really secondary to the pain that this family were going through. Right. Restaurant that I've just fixed. But come in like a whirlwind, like, you know, hammer a son that's dying. And by the way, LJ died two years after that and he's on every episode of my shows. There's a picture of him even in my live shows, which I do in front of live audiences, you know, up to 5,000. He's in my video screens because I never want to forget that moment. Because in that moment I said, hey, you know, here's this check. It's going to direct something like, here's your, this check. It's going directly to your mortgage companies. You won't be evicted. The rest will figure out afterwards. And we did. And that was a change. And because I said family is more important than anything. And my daughter came up to me, they were crying, my daughter was crying and I cried. First time on national television I've ever cried. And I think that was a change of the listening piece. We don't know what these people are going through or you don't know standing next to them on a bus or a train what they're going through. You don't know what your employees are going through. And I think that was the change. And I mean change immediate for me when I saw my daughter crying. Their story than my story. And you can see it, you can watch from that show and the rest of the shows, I changed. There was a definitive moment in that, in that show.

That's incredible. That's so powerful. And it goes back to what you were talking about at the beginning. The human connection.

It's crazy. I, I've always been a God. And when I say God, people go, oh, you're one of them. I'm like, yeah, I'm, I'm a God fearing man. Absolutely I am. I, I'm faithful to my wife. I do everything there is to do that I'm supposed to do. But where I thought being a hammer and getting things done and making it beautiful and teaching them was more important than the humanistic side of things. And I was wrong. I. Within that it never changed. We still have 48 hours, but now I have to condense. So if you imagine I go in at 8 o' clock in the morning, I wouldn't start moving out the equipment, their, their furniture, one until two in the afternoon because I really wanted to figure it out. And then I still have to open the next night at six or seven o' clock in the evening with a full restaurant turns. So I learned, I learned to be really good at it. But it was that moment, I would say that changed my, my life. And that was, that was. I'm going to say something that is really weird, but God will only give you as much pressure as you can take and get you ready for the next chapter. And I truly believe that was that moment. Wow.

It's, it's. First of all, I'm going to go back and find that episode.

I'll find it, I'll send it to you.

Okay, thank you. I appreciate that. And the second thing is too, I think for A lot of folks who are kind of doing business in the traditional way, we're focused on the numbers. It's all about the P. L, bottom line, all that type of stuff driving toward that. These stories seem almost fanciful, but your career demonstrates the opposite because you've become more empathetic and more successful at the same time. And I. I think what's so fascinating. What's so fascinating is that right now, I'm envisioning you right now with the wisdom that you have right now going back 20 years to talking to Robert Irvine, right then when he's hard charging and driving, and you're saying, hey, you can actually be empathetic, you can listen, you can care and connect as a human and still be successful in business. How would you go back and try to convince yourself back then that it can be done?

I don't think I would have, because I. I just believe that there is. There is a series of steps in. In our journeys, each one of us, and that was a step in mine. I don't think I would. People say to me, if you could change anything, what would it be? I don't think I would change anything in my life. Wow. Anything. Because they've been stepping stones to get to where I am. That means the failures. I've had failures. I wrote a book, Overcoming Impossible the Wins and the losses, because I couldn't get to everybody that I needed to, because we can only do, you know, one now, two restaurants a week. But so for me, I wouldn't change. I wouldn't go back. I wouldn't say, robert, you can have all. Because I don't think I would have the drive to change. You know, when you're in military, you're very hard. You. You get the stuff done. You do things that you look back on later and you're like, well, I had to do it because of this. Right. You have to protect people, you have to protect yourself. You have to do all these things. But I also think if you ask any veteran, that military service sets them up for success, meaning teamwork, excellence, leadership qualities, all the things that we get taught in the military. But when you come outside, it's very different because it's a cutthroat society outside. Somebody wants my job, they're going to tell the boss whatever they want to tell him about me and step all over me. In the military, you don't get that, or very, very rarely do you get that. You know, you. You take your exams, you work as a squad, eventually your name comes to the top. Of the list and you get promoted if you, if you're the right candidate in the outside world. It's, it's not like that. And you have to surround yourself. And this is what I said earlier. Connections are more important than conversations. Conversations started. But this week is buddy week. Veterans Association Buddy week. Right, and what does that mean? Reach out to 10 of your, of your friends that are in the military or veterans and talk to them, see how they're doing. I do that every week. 20 or 30 or 40 people every week. LinkedIn, phone calls, texts. You know, that's hard work. Believe me, having the time because we're all busy. You know, I've got a wife, I travel. We've got, you know, 15, 16 businesses. We've got 8,000 employees. We're all busy. But you have to make the time to keep those relationships tight. And I'll tell you why. I was listening to a podcast of a master gunnery sergeant you stays a good friend of mine, Scott Stalker, you should have him one, one day, amazing guy. He was in charge of Cybercom, Spacecom. I mean, smartest guy on the planet. And he had a young lady on a military spouse who's talking about one on one teaching about how to lead people. I was so inspired by, I said, look, just give me my, send my email and I'll send it to all my people, right? Because I have a big network, can help her three kids. And she's like, you do that for me? I'm like, yeah, absolutely. I mean, in a nanosecond. And I think that's what's the point of having relationships if you can't use them. Now that doesn't mean get jobs. That means introduce you, get you talking. And then you have to sell yourself and what you sell, what your product is or what your, your services. But I think the bigger network you have, the more fun it is. Because we put it, we put, we do a lot of stuff, but we put people together in a room, you know, every couple of weeks and just let them network and see who can do what for who and why. And it's just great to see the responses of people just saying, hey, this guy introduced me as I got my first job. Isn't this great? That means I'm like a proud, proud dad. I can't get you the job, but I can put you in the room, right? So I think that's again, it's communication first, hey, da da. Then it's relationship driven. And the hard work in entrepreneurship is taking the time to keep connecting with new people.

Hello, my friends. Before we get back to today's episode, I want to ask you a question. Have you ever wondered how to elevate your team's negotiation game and how you can help the folks on your team have better, difficult conversations? At the American Negotiation Institute, we offer transformative keynotes and workshops tailored to empower professionals with top tier negotiation and conflict resolution skills. Whether it's a keynote for your next event or hands on training for your team, we've got you covered. Don't just negotiate. Master the arts with the American Negotiation Institute. Click the link in the description to find out more. Elevate, negotiate, and succeed. Yes. I feel like this is turning into a mentoring session, Robert, because it's so true. And a lot of times we can use that excuse of being too busy. We can use that excuse of being too busy to create new relationships. We can make that excuse of being too busy to actually create a true connection. And we just try to be as transactional and fast as possible so we can get to a desired outcome. Not recognizing the beauty of connection could lead us to synergies that we could have never foreseen.

I go out for dinners with people and I get introduced people and it's got nothing to do with business. I started with, with people in the military that colonels and have four star generals. Right. And I've kept those relationship for years, the same as I do in my business relationships because they're not business anymore. They're friends. I just happen to do business with them. Yes. And I, and I think for me, I wake up every day. I gotta tell you, I am blessed beyond my wildest dream. I wake up every day. I've never worked a day in my life. And people say that. I'm serious. I, when I was in a kitchen and making eggs and you know, you said celebrity, I hate that word. I make eggs for a living. You know, there are better chefs out there than me. My two corporate chefs. One's been with me 30 years. One 15 years or 12 years, four seasons, 20 years. You know, they're way better chefs than I'll ever be, ever. But if you say to me, oh, we're going to feed 30,000 people in the middle of Afghanistan and we have no food, no equipment, and you got to figure it out. But you've got eight hours to get it done, guess what? I'll do it. I don't care. We'll figure it out. And that's been my, my whole. I built a career on the impossible. I don't believe in the word impossible. I believe if you have people and this is where the entrepreneurship comes in and your friendships and the communication comes in, you hire people to for your team that are smarter than you and allow them to do their job. Meaning I can say all I want. I write the checks. This is a cop. Somebody will say, no, it's a plane. And I said, what are you talking about, it's a cop. Well, it could be a plane if we did this, this and this. And that's how I run my companies. Each says a CEO, CMO, CFO. They all report up to a 36 year old young man who is amazing, who used to make my tea and coffee on a TV show 16 years ago. Now he runs all my companies and me.

Unreal.

So you have to be able again that ego piece to listen. And I'm going to go back to a thing I said a minute ago when I said women are way smarter than men. I've only hired 8, 000 people in my whole career in, in my businesses, not in my whole career. Three of them I hired from the Army CW5s. And my wife said to me, so basically the team gets to talk to them first for an hour and my last one is my wife. And my wife said, oh, I don't think they're going to be good for you. I don't think they're going to be good for you. And I said, yeah, they are. I hired them. $3 million later, two years lost, by the way. I had to go to her and I said, you know what? I'm going to fire these three people. And she said, I told you. And I said, I will never doubt you ever again. I fired them. The business went through the roof. And that's my practice. I never go against what my wife says because she has it. Women are intuitive of people that are going to protect you and be with you and work with you and all the rest of it just falls into place if you hire the right people.

This is brilliant. And Robert, I think, well, well over 50% of my team is comprised of women. And they will love this part of the show and I will make sure that they never see it because their egos are too inflamed.

You make sure they see it. I'm going to go online and tell.

You'Re so right, you're so right. And I see it so many times. I don't understand. I don't, I don't fully understand it, but it goes to what you're saying. It's the intuition, and I'm learning to trust it a lot more. And I think that's the benefit of diversity as well. Different people, different backgrounds, different perspectives. And we all help each other in different types of ways. And then the business advances because of it.

And I only wish our country was like that. Right. Instead of being so divisive. And, and I don't get into politics. Never will, never, never have. If people could understand, somebody's going to win, somebody's going to lose, and we have to come together, whoever it is, no matter what it is, to work across. Right. But our job should be to make sure that we can help those less fortunate. The people are not getting the health care that they're not getting the, the, the financial aid they need, not getting the schooling they need, not getting the health care they need. That is what I look at in my daily life. Not just for the country, for all my people.

Right.

That's, that's what I believe in. That's what the foundation is about. That's, that's something that you, I don't think you can be taught that. I think that's, that comes from your parents, you know, from, from, from when you're a kid. Both my girls, you know, one's almost a doctor, one's almost a criminal lawyer. She's already a lawyer, but a criminal lawyer, 22 and 24. And I, and I, I love what they do, which is helping people. Your whole life is, is meant to be about helping them progress into that next level of whatever that is they want to do with my chefs, the same. My, my, my. I just told you. Justin, my CEO, was making my tea and coffee at 21 years old. He came to work for me. He's now 36, almost 37. I don't know any other 37 year old that makes as much as he do. Unless you're in, does unless you're in Silicon Valley. Right, Right. But he put in the work. He, he was in a hallway making 100 cold calls a day in between doing a TV show, you know, so work is the work ethic, the attitude and all those other things, the conversations and the relationships. And something I learned from him, when somebody gives him a business card or they don't even do that, and now they touch phones and it's all, you know, there. Right. But they've got an email the minute, the minute he gets that, he've got an email to him to their office the minute he gets there. I've never seen anybody, even with enlisted aides or executive Assistants that do that, nobody. And it pays off so, so much. Immediately they get an email, you get a response back. That's your communication start. Hey, I'm flying in next week, gonna have dinner, let's have dinner. Then all of a sudden, it may take a week, a month, a year, but if you nurture those, those relationships, something big comes out of them. And I can guarantee that.

This is such an important reminder, it's going back to the fundamentals of human connection. It's so powerful. And I think I was just asked.

To give a speech at Harvard, right? I can't tell you why, but one of my companies has reached a really big number. Really big. I mean, in the Beast, I didn't have any money when I started it. I bootstrapped it, credit carded it. I didn't take any institutional money. I only used my own money. And it's got to this humongous company that at some point you'll hear about it tomorrow, you'll see how big it is, it will make front page news, and you got the scoop ahead of time. I can't tell you what it is, but again, I was the guy that finished a TV show and go to a store and say, can you buy this product? I was a sales guy. I was the maker, I was the recipe guy. I was the sales guy. I was. There's nothing. When people say to me, oh, I can't do that. They won't, they won't take my call. I've done that. I banged on the door. I didn't take no. And I wasn't a TV super. I was on tv. I just started a long time ago. And I, I wouldn't accept no for an answer. I, I become annoying to the point that they'll say, okay, yeah, come in, dude, just to get rid of you. You know, I should, should have been slapped with a stalker sticker. But, but unless, unless you keep persisting, you'll never be successful. Unless you have something that's unique and nobody else does it, you'll never be successful. And I, and I, and it doesn't have to be. I give you an example. Joy Magano. Do you know Joy Magano? Joe Magano is a brilliant female. She's probably got, I don't know, a thousand, two thousand patents on stuff. She decided to put a piece of felt on a wire coat hanger to stop the clothes falling off the wire coat hanger. Made a billion dollars. Right? It doesn't have to be. It's just common sense. Nine out of ten times it's common sense. Things that help and make easier for other people to go about their daily life. Entrepreneurship is about failing, picking yourself up, trying again, getting a unicorn if you can get a unicorn or a win. But if you don't and you fail, you go back to drawing board and you keep going back and back and back and back until you have that hit. One win deletes 24 L's.

Wow. Wow.

And it doesn't have to be a big win as long as it's a win, because that gives you the energy to keep going back. And I use Jeff Bezos as a prime example. Who would have known 30 years ago that a book would turn into a $202 billion empire? Or Elon Musk, when everybody said he was a nutcase, they told. By the way, they said Henry Ford was a nutcase too, right? And then he puts a rocket in the air two weeks ago and catches the rocket booster back in the arms because he had the. He had the audacity to try something when everybody told him no. And I think that's my biggest. When people tell me no, it's like red rag to a bull, really. Okay. And I've got companies, and again, I won't tell you what they are, but just because of what's happening. But I've got companies that people told me, don't touch it, because there are another 231 of these. And I said, oh, but mine's going to be different. And it is. And it was. And it. And it worked. And that blueprint. And we can go into that another time offline. But that blueprint I use in every company I build. And it works because I've done it. We know how it works. We know how to scale it. And scaling a business, this is something. And I do veteran shark tanks, I do. At a TV show, it never took off, actually, because the MeToo movement and the person that greenlit it at CBS was fired because of me, too. Which is fine. He deserved it. But. But I had a shark tank for kids. But I won't tell you what the idea is, so I'm going to go back with it soon. But it was helping kids and entrepreneurs as kids start their first businesses. And it was really interesting. No cash involved. It was all. All social media and whatever. Kids are smart, they doodle and they do things at school and they come home and they say, oh, look, dad, mom, that's not a bad idea. And I think that's what. That's what we're missing. We're Missing the nurturing piece of the communication. We have coffee time, right. I just started a company called Grubber which is self ordering technology stand in Florida. But we're all over the world now. But it just started coffee time and book reading and exchanging of, of ideas and books, what to read like we do in the military and they have a book club now and again. It's that communication of sitting down for 10 minutes a day before every restaurant that I've ever had. And in the Pentagon, we have a restaurant in the Pentagon right now before we open the door, six o', clock, everybody breaks for breakfast at 5:30. They eat together, clean up and they open doors at 6. If you need food to go home, you take food home with you. You know, we have a school called Glow Academy in Wilmington, North Carolina. I helped fundraise for it. 400 underprivileged kids, boys and girls that get fed, they get clothed, they get curriculum, 97 success, college graduation and yeah, and they're from, from gang families and, and low low income families. I'm not saying they're all gang families either. But you know, if they can do it in North Carolina, why can't we do other places? And we can if we have like minded leaders and I'm looking at you as a lawyer, me as a chef, you know, somebody that owns a gas station. It's just putting like minded people together to help those that can't or don't have the ability or the finances to help themselves. I, you know, I, I think it's the military does it, the Navy, our army, they have a pre joining because not one, one pre joining school. So not one person or very few in the United States of America fit for military service. They're already obese. Right. So at 15 to 16 years you've got to do, I think it's 22 weeks where they get you ready for you to do your exams and do your physical fitness to go into the military. And they're hugely successful. Well why can't we do that with people in general? Why can't we give them the skill set? You may, you're a smart guy. I'm not. When I joined the Navy I joined because I was a bad kid. You know, my mother called and I was drinking beer at 11 years old with my buddies in the house and I got caught. At 15 years old she marched me to the recruitment office, signed away my life. I took a maths and English test, one being the highest, five being the lowest. I got five, five. That's how I became a cook, by the way, I wanted to become a cook but wow, if I wanted to be an aircraft mechanic, another 22 weeks of schooling may have helped that I didn't. By the way, I wanted to be a cook. But why can't we do that with, with. I was not a good school kid. I didn't like school and there are people like me and there are smart people like you that, that can do it. I was not interested in school but a vocational school I would be interested in. So I look at again, how can I, how can I take. I'm going back to my businesses again because that's where we are. If I can, if I can educate them or get them more schooling and make them more money, then I'm doing my job. It's not about just employing you. You can have a job anywhere, make money anywhere, but if I can give you a skill set that now you're making more money or you're getting a piece of a company on a sale of a company, all of a sudden you're in a whole different world. And nobody should start a business unless they have a very, very unique idea, a great business plan. And I don't even need a P and L because P and L is just a bunch of numbers on a piece of paper that you say, oh, I did, I didn't. And I can, I can say, yes, we're going to make, you know, 100 million or we're going to make 50 million or we're going to make 20 and oh, we didn't make it. Oh yeah, we exceeded it. Because I can sandbag all that. You know, it's not about that. It's about what makes you unique in the business you're going into and how many other people are doing it. P, L. I don't care about P and L. You just tell me you're going to make money, what the cost of your product is and how are you going to get it to market.

The rest is easy and keeping it simple. And I think a lot of times we over complicate these processes and that's what messes us up.

Well, that's why I'm going to harbor to give this talk about, you know, with MBAs and all these other folks and CEOs, I didn't go to school for business. I joined the military to cook. Now I have a, I would say a pretty big empire. My empire, it's not big, but it's pretty big that I love and it grows every day because the people that I'VE surrounded myself with take it. Not only do my senior leadership take a piece of the company, by the way, that's the biggest end of me to give them after certain points is their business. When you're invested in something, we have a rule and you can ask any of my guys if I get a call from DC at 2 o' clock in the morning, three minutes past two, when I'm finished, my guys get the call, they have 10 minutes to reply back to me. That's my rule. I don't tell them when to go on vacation. I don't tell them what to do. They know what, they know what the vision is because we give them the vision. If they want to go on four weeks vacation, go ahead. I'm still going to pay you. That's what we do and that's what we've done from day one, even through Covid. We, we laid nobody off. Nobody. And I'm very proud of that. But that again turns into loyalty.

So it's powerful. Robert, I, I appreciate this and I, I know you're busy. I know you're, you're on the road, you're on the brink of something big. So I want to be respectful of your time and I, I just want to say again, I appreciate you. I appreciate everything you've done. I appreciate what, everything you stand for. And before you go, I just want to give you another opportunity to let the listeners know again about there's so many options, the new book and what, what they should look out for, look out for from you next.

I think the biggest thing for me now is yeah, if you can get a copy of Overcoming Possible, it's on Amazon. I think it's like 10 bucks. I don't even know what it is. It's, it's a quick read, 75 pages. But you will be a better family guy. You'd be a better business person. Business family guy or girl? Business person guy or girl. Because it's real life. And on the people that have done the forward and the back are all CEOs of Fortune 500 companies. I've helped and change. I would say please check out the robert irvinefoundation.org that's my passion of changing first responders, doctors, nurses, teachers. I have men and women that wear the cloth foundation and our families. That's my big passion. We have a big event coming up in Philadelphia on Monday called Beats and Eats. We have some great music and great chefs. If you look at the, the one page when you open the book of overcoming Possible, it says for all those that have looked at the stars and dreamt, instead, one day. It's an amazing, powerful paragraph, because that's what I did. One day. I want to be this one day. I want this. And anybody, anybody can achieve anything if they have the heart and the attitude to not give up.

That's powerful. Robert, thank you so much for joining us. Really appreciate it.

Appreciate it. Go out and change somebody's life.

Congratulations. You've just joined an elite club by listening to a full episode. You're now officially on the Negotiate Anything team. So welcome aboard. What most team members do is they subscribe to the podcast because that allows them to automatically get the latest episodes of the show. The best things in life lie on the other side of difficult conversations. Keep learning, keep practicing, and keep getting better. Your relationships will improve, your career will soar, and you'll have the confidence you need to get the most out of these crucial conversations. Again, thank you for joining the team. We're excited to have you, and I will see you in the next episode. I'll catch you later.