How High Performers Build Unfair Advantages | Alex Mehr (Zoosk Co-Founder)

Warren Buffett has this thing that run companies, build companies and run companies as if you're going to run them forever and you give them to your children and grandchildren. That's my new philosophy. It's like if a buyer comes along, we will look at it. But in the meantime, I'm building a thing that I can hand over to my kids or the next generation. Doesn't matter.

Welcome to Big Hitters. I'm Larry Weidel, and this show is for people who are done playing small. Each week we break down what it actually takes to win at a high level. The decisions, the discipline, the adjustments that separate those who almost do it from those who do it. No theory, no fluff, just straight talk from someone who spent 50 years building winners. If you're serious about momentum, you're in the right place. Let's get into it. Okay everybody, I'm back with Alex Mayer and, uh, We're talking about giving yourself an unfair advantage as you compete. You know, the great thing about technology is really the multiplier for your hard work. You know, it's the multiplier, it's the focuser. It gives you an advantage that you can't really get any other way. And you saw that right from the beginning because of your training and your exposure.

And it's not even a new insight. Like I said, it is Throughout history, that has been the case.

I didn't want to get into World War II and the Germans, but as far as technology, the Germans did not really have a technological advantage. At the end of the war, they were moving most of their troops and equipment around with horses. That was at the end of the war. They hadn't developed their mechanism, the factories and all that to go out and Compete like the challenges they took on. But their one advantage, I shouldn't bring this up, but their one advantage was cocaine. They had millions and millions of pills.

But that's the same thing. So what was like, think about Blitzkrieg. It's a combination of a new strategy combined with lighter Panzer tanks, I believe, like lighter mobile tanks. In a new tactical way combined with methamphetamine pills, which gave them the unfair advantage. So technology is not always like, oh, it's a new thing. It's a combination of things that has not been tried before. So it's like, and I would argue even like, you know, their weapon systems. There are like a lot of things they did and they made also a lot of mistakes. It's, you can even like every single one of these, like I said, Napoleon is a good example. He was an artillery officer and then he took it to the nth degree and like battered the enemy with artillery. So he has a, he has a famous saying. It's like, maybe not appropriate, but he says, uh, Every man is created equal to my artillery. I will evaporate you no matter who you are with my artillery. So I might have paraphrased it, but it's like, look at the thread is the same. It's like, and it's not just like Vanderbilt and Rockefeller with oil and Elon with his space technology. And like, you just name it, Henry Ford, like every single one of them. new technology, or you may not think of it as technology, but a new thing that is combined.

But it is, and I call this the edge stacking. You know, the way I run my training program is like an engine to where each, you know, we take it one week at a time and we, you know, we get million-dollar earners together and we bat things around and let people gather around and listen to us and just kind of spark new ideas so they can get one new idea that becomes for them, they can turn it into an unfair advantage because it's an idea or an angle they haven't thought of. And the idea is if they're installing that during the week, it gives them something to stay fresh on. Do quicker, faster, better. If you stay on that attack, then by the end of the year, there's just no way you haven't had your best year ever. But it comes down to stacking competitive edges. And really in business, business is the history of people who've created competitive edges, competitive advantages, and then ran with it as far as they would go. That gives you the surge, the results. But these growth surges don't come by accident. It's really fun to, like you do with history, look and unravel the reasons why people had certain success. It's not because they just worked hard type thing.

100%. And it's like, that's why I said it's like you need to work really hard. I mean, at least I don't know how to do it without working really hard.

To me, that's a given. You know, it's like we would have a show. We were the first company to have a nationwide TV broadcast all over the country where everybody was, you know, got— we started that like at the early '80s. People would get on there, they'd have the leaders from around the country get on, and I'd always just yawn when people got on and talk about hard work. It's like, give me a break. You know, like if you're in a battle, they're working hard, folks. If one side beats the other, it's their life at stake. They're fighting for their life. They're gonna be working hard, but who's gonna get the edge? The person with better systems. They got better training, they've made better technology, they got better support. And so all the logistics and the technology is what multiplies the effect or the impact of the hard work. And as you're out competing with people, I guess you've probably seen some amazing turnarounds and success stories.

There's no question that it's just assuming that, oh, I work hard, therefore I win. It's just like dumb. So many people work 16 hours a day. So many entrepreneurs, myself included. I'm not going to beat everybody on hours because it's just, I'm already maxed out. So is everybody else who's actually competing. The question is, okay, but can I lever myself in a way? Yeah. To, in a way that I can win in a competitive battle. Like you said, everybody's fighting for their lives. And business is not a zero-sum game, but there is some element of winning against your competition. So you have to be able to do that. And that requires really deep thinking and strategy, technology, the systems, all the things you mentioned, all of them combined.

If you're not thinking about leverage, the Archimedes principle, you're not really adding much to the equation because that's what you're trying to do. You're trying to come up with a system that gives you more leverage, technology that gives you more leverage, because we're all functioning off a 24-hour-a-day time limit. And it comes in with what you can get out of that. What keeps you— what do you really enjoy the most? I know you like solving problems, you like your craft, operating in the rare air, but where do you get the most enjoyment from the life you've got right now? And is there any stage you're looking forward to? reaching that where you would have maybe a little bit different life?

Essentially, I love the— I'm going to die with my boots on. So I don't have an end stage in mind. It's like I lived in Puerto Rico for 5 years by the beach. I worked all the time and I walked to the beach, which is like 100 yards away from where I live, 5 times a year. Okay? So people say, oh, I want to retire and go on a beach. Yeah. I'm like, look, I lived 100 yards from a beautiful beach, coconut trees, Puerto Rico, tropical island. I walked to the beach 5 times a year. It's like, it's not an end state. So, it's really not about what you're trying to get to. And also the other thing that I sort of tell people, like, I don't know what it is. I, Maybe I'm older. I don't actually care about enjoying or having fun that much. It's just, I don't really care that much.

Well, it's like short-term, you know, the thing is what we're talking about is short-term pleasure. Let's go out and have a party on Friday night. Let's get dressed up, the girls and the cars and the watches and the this, you know, past a certain point it's like yada yada.

I really don't care. It's like, it's like I'm at that point in my life. I like the battle and I like the challenges that I'm solving. And I love every minute of it, even though it's torturing me. I don't even think about it anymore.

But making these breakthroughs, what I try and tell people is, or what I tell people is like, the approach that you've got is a regenerating approach because it's a re-energizing approach. When you make these breakthroughs, you get a surge of yes. You know what I'm saying? It's like, okay, you know, I thought that would work. I thought there was, you know, I thought the answer was down there. I went down there and yes, there it is. And you kind of, it, you get a, it creates, it gives you a new burst of enthusiasm and curiosity. Plus it gives you a vote of confidence that you're on the right track. It kind of reinforces you making decisions to follow your instincts that's inside you, you know, driving you forward. And that's kind of a regenerating type thing. It's energizing.

100%. And nothing can't replace it. And the whole reason that I think entrepreneurship is worth it is because you get to do that.

By the way, if you're still listening right now, you're different. You don't just consume content, you're actively looking for an edge. And that's who I built the Big Hitter Community for. Not people chasing motivation, people chasing momentum. Not theory, proximity. Proximity to operators who are actually in the arena making real decisions and winning at a high level. Inside Big Big Hitter, you get conversations we don't have on the podcast, direct access to people who build what you're trying to build in a room that holds you to a higher standard every single week. This isn't a hype group. It's not networking for the sake of networking. It's where serious people go to sharpen their thinking and compress their timeline. If you're done just listening and you're ready to be in the room where it actually happens, head to joinbighitter.com. hitters.com or click the link in the show notes. The right room changes everything. I'll see you inside. If you think about it, you're like, let's just get, you get, you know, you sell something, you get zillions of dollars. Say, okay, I'm going to reward myself. I'm going to go get myself, you know, the Ferrari. I'm going to get the new clothes. I'm going to get the jewelry. I'm going to do this, that, the other. And it might be good, might be fun for 15 minutes.

It was literally 15. I've done that myself. So I learned that, that it was the most depressing time of my life. I kid you not. It was the most depressing.

Usually you get the money, you get the payoff because you did something, you overcame, then you get the big payoff and you say, now I can get the reward. But the reward sucks life out of you because like, this is all it is.

People who are thinking about selling their companies, I'm like, I'm not against selling your company, but Like you work on a company for 10 years and you sell it, you get the financial reward. Don't think you're going to be all happy. So it's kind of like a curse, blessing and a curse, because on one hand, running a company for anybody who's run a company, it's like, it's, I mean, businesses have a lot of problems always. Okay. So you're like, okay, I, Close this one out. Okay? Put a bow on it. But then your life will feel empty the next day.

And it's always a surprise for the people that do that because they think that's the dream. That's what I've been working for. And it's like, the longer you— I've been operating in this world for a long time and I've been in clubs for over 20 years where you have millionaires and billionaires walking up and down the hall. You get to see this play out in real life. But the big joke of the people that know the game is like the guy, a typical, he comes up on Wall Street or wherever, gets on a winning groove, builds something big, you know, gets a divorce in the process, loses his health. Then he gets, he sells out. Okay. Gets healthy. He gets the new trophy wife. He buys the boat, he buys the plane, and 18 months later, He's about to commit himself. He's about to commit suicide from boredom. How can I get away from this boat? How can I get away from this woman?

So what happens is that your identity, when you're in the thick of the battle, your identity gets merged with the battle itself. So I clearly remember the day, not the day, but a week or so after we sold Zeus, I was walking my dog in San Francisco, foggy day in San Francisco. On a market arrow by the bridge. And I'm looking into the fog with my dog next to me. And this is before I had kids and stuff because I hadn't worked on it for like 10 years or 8 years or something. Okay, what does this mean? I was completely disoriented. Okay, so completely. That's weird. That's why I hope this company I never sell. Warren Buffett has this thing that run companies, build companies, and run companies as if you're going to run them forever and you give them to your children and grandchildren. That's my new philosophy. It's like, if a buyer comes along, we will look at it. But in the meantime, I'm building a thing that I can hand over to my kids or the next generation. Doesn't matter.

Fantastic. Do you have your kids down in Florida with you?

Not at the moment, but they will.

A lot of great communities for kids within a 10, 15-minute drive. That's why West Palm is so— has been selected because you can go to Jupiter, you can go to Wellington, you can go to Boca Delray. You can live out where they have the Nice communities, but drive-in and, you know, for the family, you can have the family life and all of that. But you'll enjoy this. I'm going to tell you this and then I'm going to get you for a final comment. Ted Cruz, Senator Ted Cruz is talking to Elon Musk. You may have heard about this. He's talking to Elon Musk and they hit it off. And Ted Cruz is kind of surprised he hits it off so good with, so well with Elon. So he says, hey, I'll be down in your area, whatever. He said, why don't next time we get together, let's go out and have dinner, get dinner. And Elon looked at him like, what? He said, what do you mean go to dinner? He said, well, so we can talk and laugh. He said, we're talking now. He said, I don't do social dinners.

Me neither. Exactly right. I actually have dinner at my desk pretty much every day. So dinner and lunch at my desk, it's like, I can't even recommend it. It's like, I don't even tell other people to live Well,

when you got the rare air, I mean, you're, it's, you're like, it goes beyond things, beyond what most people would think. A great entertainment sitting out on a, you know, on a cafe, on a sidewalk. The satisfaction you get from making things happen goes, that rare air thing is so far beyond. It's kind of intoxicating in a sense, you know.

It is intoxicating, but it's different and it's probably not for everybody. It's just like, hey, you know, there's times where I'm like, you know, I hope nobody lives my life.

Well, again, but I'd say that is learning how to stay at it long-term is a skill too, how to recognize that when it's coming and shift gears and all that. But hey, thanks so much. This has been a lot of fun, Alex. And I'm going to look forward to getting your book. I'm going to look forward to going to these sites and look forward to talking more in the future. Would you say, what would you like our real dead serious people to take away from the conversation today? That was a great one you gave the last

I tell you guys, so I'm assuming people who are listening to this part are more advanced people. So I tell you one thing, every person whose name, again, I'm going back to history. Every person whose name you remember put a large volume of workout, just quantity. Good example, Picasso. Okay. Thomas Edison. So they just, they weren't just quality. It was also huge body of work, like number of patents. Number of paintings, artwork. So why did I say that is because a lot of great thinkers, a lot of people who are like actually successful in life but are capping out, okay? Their one uncap is stop scrutinizing every action you do because those people are also overthinkers. They scrutinize Everything they want to do, or like, oh, does it make sense? Does it not make sense? Is it going to— is it a good idea or not a good idea? And I'm like, look, just do it. See if it works. Just volume. Okay. So that is a problem specifically. It's like, actually, average people don't have that problem. That problem is for like successful people who are sort of hit a ceiling and their literal unlock is to Just like think less and do more, kind of like volume of work. It's like Picasso. Good example.

Absolutely. And since you brought up Picasso, I wasn't going to tell you this, but 10 minutes north of where you are is my Palm Beach art studio. And I've got over 1,000 paintings in there. I've been doing a lot of that over the last few years. And so anyway, Since you brought it up, I thought I would tell you that would give us something to do when, when we get together. Look forward to talking to you, Alex. We'll make sure you've got my contact information and thanks for taking the time.

Nice meeting you and thank you.

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