Dr. Paul Scheele and Marci Shimoff explain how happiness is a natural state you can choose by raising your internal set point. They argue that chasing goals often keeps you unhappy, and offer a simple practice: intention, attention, no tension. The key is shifting focus from external conditions to what's already inside you.
20% more money.
A fun paralliminal that we get to play with today. This is the paralimal called Happy for no Reason, which I developed with Marci Schimoff, the author of a book by that same title. Now, Marcy is a meditator. She goes way back into the Himalayan tradition of yoga, science, and philosophy. And there are a lot of important things that we come to understand about our states of being when we're meditators. And if you know the origin story of paralyminals, you also know that one of the things that paralyminals do is they put you in touch with resources that are already within you. A concept inspired through me by my study of meditation, that the self, the true self, is ever free, ever pure, ever wise. You have all that you need to live a fulfilled life, and happiness is a natural state. But let's face it, when we look at our world and how we were raised, if something is going on in our life, some circumstance or situation, and we're unhappy about it, it's easy to think that it's that thing that created my unhappiness. I have a boss I really don't like. I'm so unhappy in my job. If only I could get a different boss or if only I could have a different job. Oh, it's my finances. You know, if I only had more money, I'd be happy. You know that studies have been done around money and happiness.
And regardless of the level of financial prosperity a person enjoys or suffers, without exception, all of them say that 20% more money would make them happy. So it's really quite interesting to realize that most of the times what we're doing is we're saying it's the circumstances or situation that we're in that is causing our unhappiness. And if that was different, then I'd be happy. Well, the myth of that is what happy for no reason is all about. You see, what Marcy says is that there are ways in which we get happy for bad reasons. That's by pursuing addictions that we have.
There are ways of being happy for good reasons, like you've done a good work in the world, or you've had a landfall for financial prosperity, whatever. A windfall, I should say for financial prosperity. And that's wonderful. It's happy for good reason. The truth is that who you are as a being has access to happiness for no reason. And what she says is, everybody has a happiness set point. And what the happy for no reason paralimal is about is how do we raise that happiness set point. What are the happiness practices that we can engage in on a daily basis to remember the state? So let's talk about goal setting as a means to unhappiness. You see, very often we'll set a goal because we're moving away from something that we don't want, towards something that we want but don't have, moving from something that we have and don't want towards something that we want and don't have. So that trajectory to be able to get to that thing will often be a way in which people perpetuate a sense of misery or unhappiness. You see, they say, I'm unhappy with this. That's motivation to move me towards something that would make me happier. So I'm going to pursue this thing because that would make me happy. But what's the goal behind that goal? You know, if I could. Let's say I'm a slow reader and I want to take photo reading. Why do you want to take photo reading? Because then I could get through a lot more books. All right, well, let's say you could get through a lot more books with photo reading. Then what would that give you? What would you have or who would you be that's even more important than being a photo reader? Well, then I'd be able to spend more time with the ones I love instead of having to get all this reading done all the time. Great. So if you had that more time and if you're spending time with ones you love, what would you then have or do or be? That's even more important than that. Now, if we keep pursuing the goal, behind the goal, behind that goal, behind that goal, eventually we come to a little loop at the end that says, well, then.
Then I'll be the fullest expression of who I am. I would truly be at peace. I would be happy. Now hear that? They're talking about a state of being. And yet what we're doing to get to a state of being is.
A miscalculation. You see, you can't do to be. You do to get or to have or to keep or maintain. But your state of being is independent. That's a choice. So be at peace, be happy, be loving. You see, if you stay in those states, then all of your doing becomes much easier.
So Marci Schaimoff has had a coach, a mentor that took a Sanskrit phrase and turned it into English. And that became something of a concept behind a lot of Marcy Schaimoff's work. It's intentional attention no tension.
So establish your intention for what you choose to create.
Give it your attention. Because when you focus your attention on, that's where your energy is going to flow. So intention, attention and then.
No tension. Be relaxed. Be in a state of expansiveness. When we're contracted, our energy doesn't flow as well. When we're expansive, we're in a flow state. So think about this idea, about pursuing whatever objectives you have, any goal setting activities. Pursue what it is that matters most to you. We've talked about this with other paralyminals. Put your attention on those things that will help create the life that you choose to live. Be happy. While you're doing it, don't put off your happiness. Happiness is a choice. Abraham Lincoln said, people are about as happy as they make their minds up to be. So the idea is, make up your mind to be happy. Be happy, be at peace. Today, all of your activities will be more effective. And then keep the tension out. And by practicing or using Paralympical technology, you're really training yourself to drop into a state of beautiful, expansive relaxation. Connection to resources that are within you and the capacities to achieve what it is you set your mind upon. You are gaining access to the true resources that are within you. Happiness is one of those, so enjoy it, Love your life. Today, be happy. And we'll get together for one more session for this month and that's going to be tomorrow. So all the best to you. Peace and blessings.
