Q&A: Moving Out of Your Comfort Zone

Hello and welcome to today's coaching Q and A call. I'm Wendy Greer with learning strategies and mind tracks. And today I wanted to start by just briefly.

Sharing some thoughts about moving out of your comfort zone. The comfort zone can be a real trap because it's so predictable. There's no threat, there's no lack of safety and security. The challenge is, of course, that there's very little growth generally in the comfort zone. You tend to sort of get stuck and.

You cease to expand your horizons. You cease to step into your potential. And there's a real conflict where you perceive that the present positives might outweigh the future improvements. So you have this push me pull you. And it really is a tricky state because if you're feeling like.

You'Re potentially opening yourself to threat or something contracted, and the status quo is even keel and, as I say, comfortable, it's just easy to be there. So a couple things I always ask people to do when they're feeling intense anxiety about stepping out into a new. We'll have done all this preliminary work, and then they're ready to. They think they're ready to take the leap, and anxiety kicks in. Sometimes there's a very fine line between anxiety and excitement. So sometimes it's important to sort of look at it and go, okay, am I not prepared for this? Is there something that's holding me back? Or is it just there's some trepidation about. About trusting that it's time for me to take that leap. It's time to step out of that comfort zone. It's time to really shift the way I'm perceiving the world and shift my perspective to open up to that greater potential that you always have within you. So often we have a feeling that.

Almost like a role starts taking over, and that role is very challenging to shift out of. So it's like there's been a lot of life transitioning going on now, particularly in the last few years. A lot of people have reassessed their priorities. And so there's a. There's a shift to a totally different perspective, a different paradigm, a different operating system, as it were. And so a lot of people are sort of stuck because they. They know they want to give up the role they're in. But there's the comfort and there's also the security. And it's. There's a. There's a. It's challenging to step out of that. It's really challenging. And sometimes it seems almost foolish. And one of the challenges that I see A lot, particularly with people that do paraliminals or into self development. Personal growth is. We tend to think that we can only progress if we're adding more skills. We're improving something, we're improving the qualities of our communication. But we're often more in need of paring back, of taking things away than adding things on. So when our old story and our old identity takes takes over and, and we don't relinquish it to step into something more, it can become a rut, it can be a stuck place, it can be a place that, that becomes extremely challenging to move beyond. I'm reminded of that story I shared a couple of coaching sessions ago about, about Michelangelo saying when he got this, you know, 20 foot block of granite, what he did to create the statue of David was he took away everything that wasn't David. And when he was done, David, David was there. So that's really what, what I'm suggesting for, for us is to, to take a look at where we are in our life. You know, one of my tough transitions was being parent to grandparent. And now I'm in my elder years, so it's becoming the wise woman instead of the, of the, the, the, the doer, you know, to step into the being that I am rather than the doer that I've been. So, so it's a really challenging thing to move forward. And I think often when it seems hardest is right when you're on the cusp of shifting. I've mentioned before that sometimes I'm absolutely thrilled when somebody calls and goes, my life is so chaotic, it's all falling apart. Because I knew there's a chance for a new paradigm, a new picture, a new way of being, a new chapter in that person's life. I remember being really impressed. Martha Beck, a lot of you probably know her, she wrote a book called Finding your North Star. She was a, I think she's a psychologist, but she does a lot of coaching. And she had a son with down syndrome who totally shifted the way she saw the world and her perspectives and her priorities. And one of the analogies she shared. I had no idea on this. I had always thought when a caterpillar becomes a butterfly, it went into the cocoon and it grew legs and it grew wings. And then when it was ready, it split the cocoon and it flew off. Well, what actually happens apparently is the caterpillar disintegrates, it turns into goo. It's just if you broke open a chrysalis before the butterflies started forming, it would be a bunch of clear, gooey, gloppy stuff. But what happens is that.

The cells that are the goo are called imaginal cells. I just love that name because imaginal. Imagine the possibilities. Imagine the potential. Imagine all the things you could do. So the imaginal cells generate what, what grows the butterfly grows the wings, grows the color, grows the legs, you know, and then when he, when the chrysalis breaks, the butterfly flies. And that's what, that's what moving out of your comfort zone is like. It's like going through that gooey street until you can become what you truly are. The butterfly, the angel. The what? You know, whatever analogy you want to use, whatever, whatever you are here to do and be, that's.

Enables you to do that. And if that seems like too much, one of the things that too, that I suggest people do is chunk things down sometimes. We're trying to take this leap and we're going from here to the top of the mountain over there. Maybe we need to walk through that valley and then we need to go over that little hummock and then we need to go past that brook and then we start climbing the mountain. So chunk down the goal. Chunk down the. Because that in and of itself will cause discomfort if you've got this huge leap that you're not even convinced you can do. Chunk it down, make it into smaller steps. So there are several parallel, as always, that would support this. The ones that I chose are simplicity. Because when you uncomplicate your life, you create space, you create a vista, you create, you create.

A view that is panoramic. So you can see where your priorities are. You can see where you're trying to go, you can see where you are relative to that. And you can make some educated decisions on what the next step might be. New History Generator. This one I visit a lot because New History Generator helps you to transform and to acknowledge the strengths you have now, to carry those forward, to carry the wisdom and the learning forward. But to dump the stuff that isn't you anymore, that isn't serving you, that is keeping you stuck. So that is a really good one for shifting that kind of stuck state. Fresh start. Fresh start is so good because it's, it helps you to again have that, that view of anything is possible, that every moment is a fresh beginning. You know, what kind of butterfly do you want to be? What color do you want your wings to be? You know, how, how you know are you going to be one of those little, little short hop ones? You're Going to be one that flaps and. And sort of almost soars, you know, so fresh start is good. And fearlessness. Because when you're in a state of. Of courage, your options open up. When. When you're feeling courageous, when you're feeling like you.

You have the wherewithal to shift what's going on, to shift what's happening around you, to shift your own Persona into. Into a more expansive, fulfilling. Fulfill your potential. Sort of. You're. You're becoming. You're becoming tuned in to the infinite possibilities that always surround you. I wanted to end this little portion before I get to the questions with. I came across this quotation. I'd written it down quite a while ago, and it's so. Apartment it is. What you bring forth out of yourself from the inside will save you. What you do not bring forth out of yourself from the inside will destroy you. And I wish this was interactive, because I'd love you to guess who this is. But anyway, so what you bring forth out of yourself from the inside will save you.

Helps you to step into your power. It not only saves you, but it fulfills you because it's what you're here to do. When you're willing to step out of comfort zone, then you. You are really embracing your potential. You're embracing the skill set that only you can bring to the world and that the world loses if you don't do that. So what you do not bring forth out of yourself from the inside will destroy you. Because you. You won't have been what you could be. You won't have fulfilled what you could be. This was from the Gospel of Thomas.

Almost 2,000 years ago. And they were. They were dealing with what we're dealing now. Stepping out of your comfort zone being. Being what you came here to be, from fulfilling that in the greatest, most magnificent way possible. And to do that, you sometimes have to take the leap of faith. One of. One of the scriptures I like is a leap of faith is. Is trusting that when you take the leap, either the ground will rise up to meet you or you will fly. So that, that is. That's. That's our potential. So I really. I really love it when people embrace that. And I know how challenging it can be believing. I've been there. I've rode that boat too. So just want to encourage you to chunk it down. If you're too uncomfortable and it feels too. Too much, too threatening, too scary, chunk it down. The longest journey begins with first step. So. All right. We had quite a few questions. Some of them Are. Are alluding to things I've covered before. But I'll go ahead and do an abbreviated answer. First one I love from Helen. I want my. I need my dreams to come true.

Okay. Well, Helen, I got a couple of things that I'd like you to do. One is define your dreams. What is your dream? What do you want to have happen? What are you moving toward? What is, if you were living your ideal life and you were looking back at it and you've done everything you chose to do, what would you have done? Who would you be? Who would you have helped? What would your mission have been, and how would you have fulfilled it? And the other question is, why are you not already there? Why are you not on the path? Unless you can answer those two questions, it's hard to fulfill the dreams because you're not clear what they are, and you're not clear what your stumbling blocks are. You know, Lisa Nichols, I've alluded to her before. She is just the most wonderful storyteller, and she has a. An analogy she used. She. She says there's a cosmic kitchen, and you can have anything you want. You just have to order it. But you got to be specific, because if you aren't specific, the cosmic kitchen can give you anything you want. And if you don't say, I just want food, you may get cold corned beef hash day after day after day till you could just. Is just nauseating. So, but if you say, I would like beef bourguignon tonight with a rosemary roasted potatoes, and I want some Brussels sprouts with that, and I want a creme brulee for dinner, guess what? The universe will serve it up. So get clarity on what you want. Set some clear goals. And somebody else had asked about using parallel, so I'll come back to that in a sec. For you, I would probably suggest self actualization and self growth or, sorry, finding yourself, because they both will. Will help you tune into where you are on the path where you want to be. What. What is self actualization for you? If Helen is Helen in her truest and most complete form, what is she doing? Who is she being? So, and then finding yourself, of course, is finding where you are now and, and, and what your potential is, what your skill sets are, what your qualities are, and putting those out into the world. So I'm going to jump up to.

Because this connects directly with Helen's. Somebody asked how to use, how to set goals and how and why they work. Okay. Parallel are very personal, so I can't give you a Cookie cutter answer. I tend to like to meditate in the morning. I like to do my parallel later in the day and I love doing one before bed because I often have really interesting dreams that, that are very insightful. So frequency. There are general guidelines in the FAQs that come with each, with each paraliminal, but you've got to make it yours. Those are guidelines. They're not written in stone rules, they're guidelines. So adapt them to what works for you. How to set goals stated in the positive. It's what you want more of. I am I now. I choose. I am grateful for something that makes you step into the power that makes you, you in control. It needs to be present tense, something you want more of. If you can build an action into it so that you, you're, you're, you're making it dynamic and a feeling. Because one of the, the things I notice over and over with people that aren't doing very well on achieving their goals is there's no emotional connection. It's just, it's an academic goal. It could belong to anybody walking down the sidewalk and make it yours. That when you read it, it just. Oh yes, you know, you almost get goosebumps on your arms. So it's really important that you set a clear goal. The reason parallel work so well is, you know, left brain, right brain, you're stimulating both because you got the two messages going. Your conscious mind has trouble staying engaged. So you're accessing the power of the other than conscious. So you're getting, you're getting access to all your wisdom, all your memories. I think you really connect with the quantum field. You connect with knowledge that you don't even realize you have access to. And it's 24 7, it never turns off. So it's just a powerhouse. I mean I still, as I've said multiple times, I've been coaching almost 20 years here and I still sometimes will go, whoa, that was pretty astounding. So they're great tools. Okay, someone asked, when the same limiting beliefs or structures from the past keep coming up, no matter how much work you might have already done, what is the best approach to finally clearing the path and moving forward? Okay, couple of things.

When the same things are turning up over and over and over, I always look, I always suggest people check a couple things. One is for a values alignment, are you sure that what you're trying to generate is yours to generate or did somebody else plant the seed and you're just trying to fulfill it for them? Because it's really important that you, you be activating what you value, what, what is an integral part of you. You know, your core values are being expressed and fulfilled. So that's important. The other is sometimes a limiting belief keeps coming up because at some point in your life it has generated some wisdom and some learning that you have not integrated yet. You aren't carrying it forward. So you're trying to dump the pearl with the oyster. You need to take the pearl out before you can, can, can dump the, the detritus, the, the, the stuff you don't need. So, and this is going to be maybe a little bit of a stretch for, for you, but gratitude is really good because it helps you tune into the gifts. And what I would build into your intention with the gratitude parallel is something along the lines of I want to understand the wisdom. I want to understand the learning that has happened as a result of this belief. I want to understand if it's still serving me somehow, how could I fulfill it in a different fashion. So that would be a good way to approach it. The other one would be belief, because belief is really, you know, our beliefs run our lives. And if it's showing up over and over, you know, there may be some kind of insight, you know, that you'll get from the belief paralleliminal. So I think I would probably visit those two for that, for that topic.

I'm not. There isn't a question here, so I just want to make a comment update on the question I asked last week. I asked about pauses and setbacks. You were right. I changed my intention for the parallel accelerator. This particular issue that always sets me back is a physical issue I've been struggling all my life with. Few people know how to.

Few people know how severe it is. And even, even the doctors don't understand how I almost function normally.

It sounds like you may possibly be buying into a label that's been hung on you. I would visit the. It sounds like you've already acknowledged what's in the perfect health parallel, but you might try it, because if that's, if that's hanging you up, perfect health reminds you you have the blueprint for perfect health. It's always there. It's there. It's an integral part of who you are. And so the suppositions and the assessments that come from the outside sometimes don't take into account you as a person and your specific biochemistry, your specific physiology, you know, your particular orientation to life. I mean, your mindset has a huge impact on your health. So I would probably visit those you know, the other thing that occurred to me when I saw this question, I haven't had a chance to listen yet, but the podcast this week is Chun Yi Lin and he's a qigong master that I have a lot of respect for. He is, he's made esoteric materials very user friendly. He's very down to earth and he is, is huge on the body, mind, spirit link. And you know, if your, your mind and your spirit are aligned with, with living in helpful, helpful fashion, that's that, that, that is all for the good, you know, so you might, you might benefit from listening to that. But there, there wasn't really a question integrated in that. So I think maybe you were just sharing. But you know, you're good to trust your own gut and to trust, trust in your own innate capacities for self healing. And that's what Chenyu is about that you know, healing from the inside out. So.

Okay, comment. I had a great jump start that occurred after the challenge and I crossed off many tasks that, that I procrastinated on previously. I did them efficiently and with quicker decision making. After using the recommended self discipline and vitality. A few weeks later and I seem to be spinning more longer term goals are popping up that seem to require research and learning. I seem to be jumping around on paralyminal choices depending on which one of life's problems is calling out loudest. I could use a dose of overwhelm today. But then what?

It's important to keep your eye on the ball. I have a bit of a conundrum because I'm very much of a dabbler. I love learning new things. I love, I'm always getting customers referring me to products or you know, reading material and I love exploring things. I've got a very avid sense of curiosity about the world and I'm, you know, I like to try things, see where they go and then often I can pay it forward because I know just the person that that might help. So it's important that you keep your eye on the ball and it sounds like that's become challenging from a paraliminal context. I would probably start with focus and concentration and you might do that in the morning with the intent that each day you're going to assess your priorities, which goal is highest priority and sort of keep that on the front burner unless something clearly becomes significant outside of that. But that being said, I'd like to share a tool that I started using and it served me really well. I like to sit in the morning and have my tea and sort of have some contemplative time alone. And I started a notebook at the time I started it. You can laugh if you want, sort of funny. But I had my goals done through our diamond Feng shui course. So I had my feng shui goals. I had my goal set according to the effortless success course we have, which is Jack Canfield school Setting Protocol. I had my goal set according to the Unlimited Futures 7 step creative process. And talk about feeling like all this stuff was coming at me. It was the same goals, but it was different perspectives and different ways of looking at it. So I started keeping them in one binder and I had my affirmations, I had my goals, I, I do an annual review and then I would, and then I would build that in. So for this year, this is what I'm hoping to accomplish. When you have that all written down and in front of you, it's a lot easier to see the priorities, to see the patterns, to see what is clearly higher value issue right now than that, you know, that you might be able to actually delegate some of them or dump them. I want, what I want to talk about next time is the power of journaling. And part of that context is when things are written down, you can see patterns, you can see, you can see far more clearly. And there's something about writing goals down too. It's almost like you're making a contract with yourself. And that makes it something you need to step up to the plate and fulfill. And you know, keeping it here is all well and good, but sometimes I just need to dump it. I just need to get it on paper. And that's what this journal that I keep in, that I view in the morning, you know, sometimes I, I hit the ground running. I don't have time, but I generally come back to it the next day. And it's almost like I have my own coaching compendium, you know, that I can consult at any time. And okay, that one is so, yeah, this one, this one today, this one. So it might help you to write it down, you know, go through the, the, the sort of logical step of itemizing, you know, and then reiterating, you know, and then pull out each day what, what, what's on your to do list, as it were, or you can do what Lisa Nichols recommends is a to done list. When you're feeling really overwhelmed at the end of the day, you do a to done list. So it's, it's what you completed during the day. And sometimes it will boggle your mind what you managed to get through. So anyway, that's just a few thoughts. I mean, there's a lot of others that would, that would help. Like peak performance is good for, for staying on task where you, you know, you've got a task and you're, you're feeling pulled this way and that peak performance might be helpful, but I think the focus and concentration probably be the primary go. So. All right, I have covered the questions and that is, I think all I have to say on that. So just wanted to encourage you to, you know, pay attention to the comfort zone issue. I mean, there may be, there may be a threat, you know, that you need to deal with. There may be some skill sets you need before you're comfortable stepping, stepping beyond where you're operating from now. But try your darndest to keep your vision open. Don't get tunnel visioned and locked into. This is the path and this is the only path and this is the way it is because there are all kinds of peripheral paths and once we open up and allow ourselves to see those, you know, we can, we can make some educated choices and we might see, you know, like that mountain over there, there, there might be a path we didn't see before that is already groomed and just takes us right where we're trying to get to. So pay attention and stay open. Stay open because you have everything you need within you. You just need to, to create the space and the, the quiet and the contemplative time to hear it and to, to bring it forward, forward into the world. And we all need it. You take care, lots of love and I will see you again next week. Bye for now.