Q&A: Regret About the Past

Hello and welcome to today's coaching Q and A session. I'm Wendy Greer with learning strategies and mind tracks. And I'm going to lead in with a little preliminary discussion about regret, about the past. I've been asked to address that, and I'd really like to share a thought from Wayne Dyer, incredibly wise human being that I think is so pertinent to this. With everything that has happened to you, you can either feel sorry for yourself or treat what has happened as a gift. Everything is either an opportunity to grow or an obstacle to keep you from growing. You get to choose. And a lot of what I deal with here is either regrets about the past or worries about the future. And the challenge with that is, of course, that it, it stops you from being fully involved with, with your life here and now. Thich Nhat Hanh had that beautiful saying that right here, right now is where you have your appointment with life. And if you're missing your appointment with life, you're not embracing what's being offered. You can't see what's being offered. And you're sort of stuck either in a, in a time warp of the past or all these concerns about the future. You never know where you're going to see things that really distill what you, what you, what you come to know in your life. And I remember years ago, there was a Cadillac ad and it had a rearview mirror in it, and it said, history isn't made in the rearview mirror. I had that on my vision board for years because it's so true. It's not made by looking back. It's made by being in the present moment and planning for the future. A lot to be learned from the past. However, you don't want to let it keep you, drag you in and curtail your, your potential and the possibilities that are always around you. So basically, one of the things you need, we all ideally would do. And I think we've all been down this road where we beat ourselves up. You know, I could have, I should have, I didn't. I did. If you can come to peace with what is within, you know, and I think a lot of that has to do with recognizing that in every experience, no matter what kind of regret it is or what kind of thing you think you did that wasn't acceptable, there's a gift, there's some kind of wisdom, there's some kind of growth that, that is being offered through that circumstance. There's an MD named Kelly Brogan who thinks way outside the box, and she's really Big on the mind, body, spirit, connection. And one of her sayings is suffering ends where meaning begins. And so when you can understand that meaning, that, that somehow in whatever it is you're regretting and beating yourself up about, there was something to be learned. And if you can take that out of the experience and really embrace it and welcome it and sort of integrate it into, into your growth, then the, the regret loses its potency because you've taken what you need from the experience. And that's one of the things I see a lot here. When something replicates or somebody's repeatedly doing something, it's. You haven't taken the wisdom and the learning and the growth from whatever has been happening. So to whatever extent you can, you know, self, love, compassion and, and embrace the fact that you were always doing the best you could at the time with the information you had on hand and so nothing to beat yourself up about and just learn, you know, if it was something that you definitely don't want to replicate, then you build that into the person you are, that, that, that is not who and what you are now. You learn from that experience and then you have the meaning and, and that's when the suffering ends and you can stop going back there. One of the things that I've shared with a lot of people, and this is really potent with the use of paraliminals, is you have a primary intention when you're listening to a paralyminal, but you can build in some sub intentions. And so if you're having trouble seeing, you know, what the, what this event that you're regretting and having remorse about, if you're having trouble seeing what the, what the, the, the growth was, the opportunity is in that experience, you know why it has such a potent hold on you. Ask for some clarity. Your audio session with whatever, you know, whatever parallel you're using for whatever area of your life you're dealing with because you're other than conscious nose and sometimes all you need to do is ask and you'll get amazing insights. So you might try that. If you're really stuck in regretting something, beating yourself up, try building into your intention. I need some clarity. What, what is, what is it that I, that I need to grasp, that I need to integrate so that I can move forward, you know, learn from this, but then move forward and not keep dragging it along with me. From a totally pragmatic sense, sometimes you just really, really need to get some closure. So once you have.

Sort of done the groundwork and you got a pretty Good sense of why the event happened, what you might have done differently, what you would choose to do differently in the future, then you can sort of release those feelings that are weighing you down and stopping you from. From bringing closure. So you did what was needed. You. You. You're wiser because of your experience. You're ready for whatever life wants to bring you next. So you can do something like, I love writing down a circumstance that. That I feel like I've. I've learned from. Write it down. I don't want to repeat it and burning it. And the energy goes back to the universe, you know. Chun Yi Lin, our Spring Forest young master that we did our course with said that there is no good energy, no bad energy. It's all just energy. And so what you're doing when you do something like that, you know, it might be, you know, riding it and floating it off on the water. I don't know what it is for you, but it's, it's. It's just releasing the energy to be repurposed and that. It's like.

Sort of brings it to completion in a really positive way because you've taken what you need and then you're letting the rest go to be repurposed for. For. For some other outcome for somebody else. So, you know, whatever. Whatever you choose to do, you know, it might be. It might be putting it down the garbage disposal or ripping it up or shredding it or whatever it is, but it can be so incredibly cathartic and so that once you've done that, there's a saying that I love. I have no idea who to attribute this to, but only look back when it makes you smile. So once you've done that release, once you've moved forward, once you've moved through that process and really integrated what the regret came from and what the remorse is about, and really move through it and embraced it and welcomed it and then made the learning part of who you are, then you no longer need it. And so what sometimes happens too is that transmutes the whole experience into something you can smile about because there's. You've taken the remorse and the guilt out and so you can move forward with clarity. I went to the topics index and the accelerator for this, the topic of regret, and totally in agreement with what we chose when we put together letting go. Because the triple welcoming that's in the letting go is so powerful because what you resist will persist. And so the letting go parallel is really good for anywhere. You're feeling like the past equals the present is going to equal the future because it really shifts your perspective. It shifts your whole attitude toward whatever's going on. And you sort of embrace all the other potential interpretations and permutations that will move you forward in a different way. Fresh start. Because that's the reminder that every, every moment, every second of every day is an opportunity to start over. You know, Lisa Nichols has a saying that you get 100 resets, start over buttons, and then when you push the ninety, the hundredth one, you get another hundred. So Fresh Start is reinforcing that, that every day, every second, is an opportunity. New History generator I love this parallel because you. This is the one where you have the four paths. The past as it was, the past as you would like it to have been, passed with unusual circumstances. And then the fourth path, you create yourself. So that fourth path, of course, enables you to take forward the resources, the growth, the new, the new, the new aspects of who you are and the wisdom that you garnered, and then integrate that into the path that you are then pursuing. And gratitude. In every opportunity, there's. There's an opportunity for learning. There's an opportunity for expansion in every circumstance. So gratitude really puts you on a path of recognizing where what happened might have served you. And you know what.

How that.

Gets converted or transmuted into. Into the growth that. That enables you to be a wiser, more expanded human being. So those are the ones that are. That are mentioned in the. The accelerator topics. And I mentioned that before. Anytime you're really stuck, go to the topics in your accelerator manual. And we, a lot of us that do a lot of parallel, put our heads together and figured out what we had found to be most effective for particular circumstances. So I have only one question today. I may have a little trouble reading this one because it speaks to my heart. I let my little dogs walk around with a leash while visiting my mom's grave. I call them back when they were. They were not far, but only one came back. And I put my Frenchie on the front seat. I put his leash on, then drove to look for my other Yorkie. Two collie, two. Two coyotes had grabbed my Yorkie. And although I ran and ran after them, they disappeared. When I came back, my Frenchie had hung himself. I tried to give him cpr. I lost both of my dogs. I feel so terribly bad that I made that choice to let them run around. I can't seem to stop crying for them. And how they died was not fair. I can't stop running the scenario. How they suffered in the end. Help. I feel so helpless and I miss them dearly.

That's a tough one. Grief is one of the more challenging things I deal with as a coach.

You didn't give me your name, but I'm just sending you a huge virtual hug. I can't even imagine losing one, much less two in that kind of way.

Grief is tough. You, you got to work through it. So I'm glad that you're grieving, I'm glad that you're crying. I'm glad that you're doing what you're.

I'd like to share a few thoughts that are a little off the wall, but when I started working here, we had a coach who also did animal communication. And even though I've always loved four leggeds and I met very few that I didn't immediately have a connection with, I didn't totally understand their part in our lives until I worked with this lady who did the communication and what you're describing. A couple things immediately popped into my mind. One is for both of them to go at the same time. My suspicion is they were soul mates and they needed to go together. And for it to happen so precipitously, my suspicion is they're needed elsewhere, that you received the gifts that they had to give you and they need to transmute to the next incarnation. I, this is just, I know it's off the, off the cuff, but.

That'S just what popped into my mind. And from what I learned from this animal communicator, they are also part of the divine plan. And there's a plan that's bigger than we can understand. And I, as I say, my heart just goes out to you. I would try to do what I just mentioned, you know, grieve them, but, but also, you know, even on the other side, let them know how much they meant to you. You know, release them with love and gratitude for all they gave you and, and just, just maybe have a celebration of life. You know, invite their doggy friends and have a celebration of life so that you truly honor who they were, what they did for you, and.

Oh my goodness, the, the paralyminals I would definitely recommend would be fresh start, which I mentioned is, you know, a fresh start each day. This is going to be a process and it will take a while, but it's not a bottomless pit. I can reassure you that I hear some pretty heinous stories and it's not a bottomless pit. The generators, the new behavior, the new action, the new history, new behavior. They're really good for st. You feel like you're getting stuck in this and you can't move beyond it. Belief, you know, you, you were doing the best you could at the time this happened and.

That'S all you can do. That's all you can ever do. And gratitude. Gratitude for all they gave you, for the, for the beauty they brought into your life, for the companionship. You know, thank them profusely and, and honor their journey and the part they played in your life.

There's a Dr. Sue saying that I want to share for you. Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened. And that pretty much sums it up. How fortunate you were to have them as long as you did and just embrace the fact that they were in your lives as long as they were. And please, you know, if you need some moral support, email coach mindtrax m I n-t r x.com because I'd be happy to support you and help you finesse your listening sessions as you, as you move through this, this phase of your life, you're going to come out the other side stronger. But I'm so sorry for what you're going through.

Oh, my goodness. That just. It's really close. Oh, my gosh. I can't even imagine that. I'd like to leave you with an inspiring thought. It goes back to Cheryl Burcheson. I've been, I work quite a bit with her. She's a coach who was worked through Hay House and she's also in her elder years. And some of the transitions as you get older are challenging because you, you leave things behind or, or you change your focus, you change the, the parameters you're operating from, you change the roles you have. And one of the ones that she has that I love is you cannot start the next chapter of your life if you keep rereading the old one. And so that goes to everything we've, we've addressed today that the, the next chapter is waiting to unfold. But you need to create the room for it. You need to create the space, you need to allow it to evolve. And you know, and, and you know, you little. What, what do you want your next chapter to be called? What do you want your next chapter to be about? You know, what it, what is, what is your role? What is your place of service? You know, what, what is the next chapter for you? You know, you can learn a lot from the past, but if you keep living it and revisiting it, it holds you up, it hangs you up and it stops you from stepping fully into that next new chapter wholeheartedly and with full, full commitment and conviction. So lots of love to you from all of us here at Learning Strategies. And you take care and big hugs. Enjoy what you got and express gratitude for all the gifts we've been given. Love to you. Bye.