Ep 250: The Missing Piece Holding You back from Millions in Property Investing - With Jane Slack-Smith

There's got to be a way to hack success. Working 40 hours a week for 40 years to retire on 40% of my income. Is this it? That is the point where people start going, maybe there's something more.

Jane Slack Smith, author, mortgage broker and property expert, with decades of experience in the industry has helped so many people achieve financial success in property. This episode, she helps us unpack the things that could be holding us back from achieving what we're really capable of in property investing.

I was pulling drowning people out of the river, but I realized if I went upstream, I I could stop them jumping in.

We're potentially going to use me as a bit of a guinea pig. So how did that make you feel at the time? Emasculated? Why am I still. In my own way, you get to.

Look at this and you get to say, this is not how I planned this to be.

That was when I started noticing it within myself. I'd like to say I was all enlightened, but I didn't. This is happening. I don't care what anyone says. That level of absolute certainty, I want to unplug that from that and plug that into creating 10 miles.

Why are some people getting it and why are some people not? What is getting in the way? I'll give them more tactics.

This was potentially one of the most uncomfortable and vulnerable episodes I have ever created. With that said, it's possibly one of the most helpful when implemented correctly. I hope you take away a lot from what I'm about to share and what Jane's about to open up. But just before we get into it, very quick sponsorship message. The Property Developer Network is Australia's largest community of property developers. Come and learn from Rob Flux live in person. Adelaide, Brisbane, Sydney, Melbourne. It pretty much doesn't matter what major city you're in, there's bound to be a PDN event near you soon. Learn from industry experts. Hear real deal stories of how everyday developers are making huge profits, mastering the skills of property development. Make 2024 the year you take control of the growth of your portfolio and get into property development. Click the link in the Show Notes below or go to developernetwork.com events. But right now, let's get into a rather uncomfortable but potentially extraordinarily helpful chat with Jane Slack Smith. Jane Slack Smith. How you going?

I'm good, thank you.

You've been in the real estate game for a long time now. You've got that many runs on the board. You've educated so many people in this space, both for renovating Picking areas. There is a huge amount mortgage broker. You're one mortgage broker of the year, I think several times. If I don't know if that. Yeah, if I've got that right. There is a lot of strings in your bow. One of the ones that I really wanted to pluck on today, though was mindset, because you and I have spoken quite a bit on the phone and something that you said I found fascinating that you would get people to a stage where everything was ready, they would bang on. They had the suburb, they had the finance approval, they had the strategy, they had it all, and then they stalled. And I think that this is something that is probably a more common problem than maybe some people would like to admit. You've obviously seen this quite a bit. I'm starting to hear this more when I talk to people and I wanted, I guess, to start pulling this apart. We're potentially going to use me as a bit of a guinea pig for this as well, because I'm human like anyone else. I've got things that are blocking me from getting where I want to go. So I'm quite interested in this. But can we start off with a little bit of, like, how this kind of came about, how you figured it out?

I had educated tens of thousands of people on property, investing huge amounts and had, you know, people buy courses, and it was. It hurt my heart when I could see someone buy like a $3,000 course and not even open it or go through the course and still buy a property that was a dud. I'm like, didn't follow the stepping stones, like, what went wrong? So I thought, look, if I could mentor a small group of people, I can actually course correct them. And so I took on, you know, 2017, 2018. I was taking on small groups of people and, you know, setting them up. We'll go through the 16,500 suburbs, down to the three suburbs, down to the streets in the suburbs that the renters lived using. Yeah. We're like. And when this property comes up, we're all in. And I remember this client and we got down and our property came up and I was like, this is great. You can go and put in an offer. I've done the review. Get a buyer's agent. However you're going to buy it, like, go. She's like, oh, it doesn't feel right. It's like, you've kind of spent a lot of money on me being here to guide you. And like, this is right. What's going on? She said, no, it doesn't feel right. I'm like, is there anything else in your life that doesn't feel right? And she said, oh, gosh, you know, I've been waiting for this dream job, and I've just been offered it, but I don't know if it's the right time. I was like, okay, maybe how you do anything is how you do everything. And I'd created this incredible property portfolio that gave me the freedom of choice to do what I want with whom I want, when I want, and that choice was to help other people do this. And I was like, why is this not the case? And there was this quote by Bishop Desmond Tutu that said, Bishop Desmond Tutu. I was pulling drowning people out of the river, but I realized if I went upstream, I could stop them jumping in.

Well, that's good. I like that. I was pulling drowning people out of the river, but I realized if I went upstream, I could stop them jumping in. I need to search this guy. Okay.

So what that meant to me was, gosh, I thought if I could give people the confidence and competence to buy properties, they could then create financial security, they could create their life of their dreams, educate their kids better, be role models for their children. Intergenerational change. But people were getting in front of themselves and blocking themselves. So I went on this course of understanding and hacking success. I was like, okay, what is holding people back if this woman doesn't think that this is right? Or what does success mean to her? So I said, what's success mean to you? And she's like, oh, you know, lots of money. I was like, no, no. Like, close your eyes. Really step into this in the future. You've made millions of dollars. What's happening?

So you're digging deep and getting real personal.

And she said, oh, God, I'm like this old, you know, spinster dying alone in a mansion. I was like, no wonder your subconscious is not letting you create success and getting in the way of it. Because success for you means being by yourself and lonely.

Success sounds horrible for her.

Yeah. And so I was like, God, what are the stories that people are telling themselves? Like, maybe there's something in this. How do we create these stories that then are the navigating kind of true north of how we're always orientating. And so I went down basically, this pathway of understanding how people operate. And, you know, I talk about the woo woo, which I was kind of, like, very resistant to. So we. So basically, we've got our unconscious.

Unconscious, yeah.

So that's like, you know, how we Breathe and eat and orientate. We've got our self conscious.

Self conscious? Yep.

So you know, we, we kind of like we're working with our, our self conscious. We're working, working with our unconscious which is the stories, the beliefs, the history, the experiences, everything that we've had in the past that basically dictates how we orientate. And then we have the superconscious which is hey, our goals and aspirations and our dreams and our higher purpose and how we want to orientate in the world.

And so that's something that you tap into by like.

So these are the three ways that we orientate. We live, we breathe by basically that self conscious, our unconscious is running these stories. Our superconscious is kind of what we want and they all feed our subconscious and our subconscious is there going where's the power? Where's the most power? Where's the most information? Now obviously the self conscious is just like we're orientating and not getting run over. Basically our unconscious is this operating system. And the operating system fascinated me. It's like, well where do we get this operating system from? And the reality is most people are working on Ms. DOS. They're not working on Windows 13, but they have the capacity to be working on Windows 200, right? And I'm like how do I get people to Windows 200? And so I was dragging people from the river who were drowning going I want property to solve all my problems. They'd have property and wealth and then they still got problems like what's, what's up here that I can help them.

With just very quickly for any of our like 20 year old viewers, Ms. DOS is an old operating system on computers when they used to be very large and not fit in your pocket. But okay, so basically back in the day people are telling themselves outdated stories, outdated stories.

So I thought okay, there's got to be some science. I mean I'm an engineer, right? I do research, I do Excel spreadsheets for fun, like. So I'm like okay, let me look into what, what's the science behind this? And I found Dr. Joe Dispenza and you know, he does MRIs on people, he's a doctor and he's like there's 4 billion 400 billion pieces of information every second that's coming into your brain. But we only have capacity for 2000 bits now depending on who, which neuroscience you talk to, it's essentially the numbers change, but it's essentially 0.001% of the information that is in our perception. At any time, the tiniest amount. So I was like, okay, so how do we take that information? And then I found out that basically any tension, any information we get, our amygdala basically sets off and it goes, okay, is this a threat to me? And three seconds later, our prefrontal cortex starts activating and it goes, okay, the brain is an energy conservation machine. How is the quickest way that I can take the information that I'm getting, process it and move on? And we do that by our past experiences, and we do that by our, you know, our beliefs or the conditions that we've. We've set ourselves. And I was like, that's interesting. So if we are very quickly going to this story box of information and the story boxes are all of the things in the past and maybe we haven't got what we wanted in the past. Are we just on this pattern of repeating, dating the wrong person, trusting the wrong buyer's agent, trusting the wrong financial, you know, wrong job, like across everything. And so I got very interested in this and I.

So when was this roughly, that you really started digging into this?

20. 20.

2020.

So 2018. I was like, there's gotta be a way to hack success. So I was doing like neuromarketing courses through Copenhage. I was at Mindvalley University in Estonia going, okay, these people, maybe they're onto it, you know, studying Eastern philosophies, going, the Sufis had this theory and then the Buddhists. And I was like, there's something here. Like, I need science to bring it together. So the woo I'm still uncomfortable about, but the wow of the science, I'm like, oh, this is good. And then I started working with a number of neuroscientists. And what fascinated me is that babies are born with twice the number of neuro connections as we have, but over a period of seven years, they prune and tune. And so they're like, what information do I need? What information do I not need? And as a child, and you think of Maslow's hierarchy of needs, we need our basic needs. We need to be food, shelter, water, shelter, security. And so all we're looking at, and then we want belonging in love. So as little children we're like, so what are our guardians or the most influential people in our life telling us? You know, if you're the quiet little good girl, then you get the rewards. If you're, you know, good at sport or good at school, you get the rewards. Like, how do I fit in? How do I belong by the time we're 7, 76% of our neuro connections are made. Our stories have been created of what, what we need to do to fit in and belong. By the time we're 10, it's 90%. So these children with these childlike minds are actually making stories up that we are still living when we're 20, 30, 40, 50, 60.

Can you help me understand a little bit of more the science behind that? Because it feels like this is kind of going down the path of like from what I understand, most psychologists kind of subscribe to either the Freudian theory or the Skinner type theory. And it's like Freud was very much like dreams. Like didn't he analyze his own dream once about popping balloons and the Oedipus complex came out of it. Whereas like Skinner was more like no, that's nothing. Like this is. And if there's a psychologist watching right now, and I've completely butchered that, please correct me in the comments. But is it still something that's very much open to interpretation psychologically or are you saying like you're talking with neuroscientists about this that have gone like, no, this is really like a part of the brain.

Absolutely. And it's done through MRIs. So basically they're doing a scan of the brain and they're saying, you know, when we're, for instance, when we. So there might be people here listening, going, this woo woo stuff like I'm out mindset, like come on, bring me on a property expert here. I really want to know how to make money. What are we talking about? You know, and this cognitive dissonance, you know, this is a human thing that we have. If there's something that tests our beliefs or something that really challenges us, it actually lights up the area in our brain which is a physical threat. It could be a saber toothed tiger. It's like wait a second, this is going against my belief. My belief is the woo woo or the, the mental capacity. Like I just want to understand, you know, buy a good property, let it double in value every 10 years, develop it at some stage. Hopefully it's on a battle ax, I can throw something on the back, renovate it, make some money, yada yada. And the reality is that we are actually victims of our past and we have these stories playing. So for instance, I'm thinking of, I had this course written about yourself, written about your wealth obviously as the Renault Queen, using a little bit of that on the mindset. And I had a participant and I was talking to her And I was saying, look, what are the stories that you had as a child? Like, what were your parents saying about rich people? What were your parents saying about saving? What was the experiencing that you had around money as a child? What were the songs that you're listening to? And you know, if you think about that, then where are you now and how did they affect you? And this girl, she was just like, oh my gosh, you know, I made, you know, I came from nothing and I made all this money. I bought this beautiful home and went into a deep depression and I couldn't work out why. She said, now I know why. As children, every Sunday we'd get in the car and we'd drive through these rich property estates and dad would say, they've done something evil to get money. Only bad people are rich. Bad people are rich. Bad people are rich. Bad people are rich.

And all of a sudden she's got.

Some wealth, she's got money, and she's like, oh my God, I'm a bad person. That's a story that she had as a child.

I want to understand because you're right, we've probably lost a big part of the audience that have gone, nah, just come on, let's talk, Yield, let's talk grb, let's, let's talk all this stuff. I feel like this is so important because, like, you've just illustrated you can go down all of these different. Whether you're being educated, whether you're using a buyer's agen, it doesn't actually matter because it's going to get to a point where you're going to need to pull the trigger. And unless you're in the mindset to pull the trigger, all the rest of it's kind of useless because it can't get actioned. If someone's listening now and they're like, I don't want to, but I'm kind of relating to this. What are some things that they can sort of understand more to find out, like what's actually blocking? What's that story? Like, how do you start digging into that?

Yeah, look, it's a great question because it's something that I was like, what's the signpost that I'm actually in something from the past? Like, you know, my beliefs of being, I don't know, unworthy, not enough, don't have power, don't have capacity, you know, the world's unsafe. How do I know that I'm in it before I get in it and make the wrong decision again? And what I Found, you know, incredible is our emotions are actually just chemical reactions. And so, for instance, if you think about when you're really excited, the butterflies you have in your stomach, you put it into context of where you are. Like, I'm about to go and see someone I'm in love with. Like, I'm about to propose. I've got this real excitement about it now. It's exact same feeling about when, with the butterflies in your stomach, when you're jumping onto a roller coaster and you're terrified. But the context of being in the roller coaster actually makes a feeling of being scared. Our emotions are chemical reactions and it's the stories and the context that we're in that actually make them the feelings. So our feelings are actually one of the things that are the signposts that go, okay, when a feeling of something comes up, the feeling is actually just going to this memory box that we have and going, when I've had. Have I felt this before? So the DOG barks, oh, my God, I'm so scared because I got bitten as a child. DOG BARKS oh, my gosh, I love dogs. I can't wait to pat it. So you go into a memory box. And so I was like, okay, that's interesting. Our feelings are actually going to this past experience. So what are my thoughts? Someone cut me off in traffic. Oh, my God, what a dickhead. You know, duh, duh, duh, duh. Whereas he could be going to the hospital because his wife's having a baby. Right? I've made a story up and so I'm making these stories up. So your thoughts and feelings are actually an access point to go. I've actually got a belief coming up here. I've got something that's happening and I may not like the outcome, but in actual fact, because it's familiar and it's comfortable, you go to that because the energy saving device that we have, which is the brain goes. Let me quickly come up with an answer.

You know, the thing that really makes me personally believe in this, and I don't even know if believe is the word when so much of it is rooted in scientific evidence, but let's run with it, is that when I was, I think it was about 30 years old, I started training for doing some triathlons. And I'd done some pretty big fitness stuff in the past before that, and I remember it was we did a sprint triathlon, me and my. An old friend who was also named Todd. And it was like hardly anything in the water. And then it was like 20Ks on the bike, running 5K. Something like pretty small for the fitness level that I was at. Should have taken five minutes in the pool. It took me 40 and I'd never been a strong swimmer and I couldn't work it out why. And like Todd was sitting on the sidelines politely waiting for me, like going, can we get on these bikes? I, I remember calling my mom after that and just, just generally kind of going blah, blah, blah, having a bit of a whinge. And she's like, oh yeah, that's probably because you drowned when you were 2, right? I was like, what you, I'm 30 and you're just telling me this. And she's like, oh, you didn't like die or anything? It wasn't that. And she starts instantly kind of like pulling it back to like, I wasn't that bad. But turns out there was. I was dancing around this pool as a little two year old with wearing this big zombie Mexican hat. And then the adults then turn around later and this Mexican hat's just floating in the pool with me attached to it. I have no recollection of this, but when I put my face in the water, something back here remembers that very clearly. I feel ridiculously uncomfortable. And I've always found the, the I don't know if it's the iron that just the silliness and is like I feel comfortable jumping out of a plane. I actually, I thoroughly enjoy skydiving. I enjoy flying it. So much more dangerous than swimming laps in a pool where I can touch the bottom. But my brain doesn't say that. And this is what makes me come back to this to go, there's a story. There's a story. Exactly. And I don't think that I'm certainly not the only one with this. There must be other stories again that I'm telling myself that other people that are telling themselves I should be able to swim perfectly. I haven't gotten over that. And unless I do put the effort in to get over that, I'm still gonna take 40 minutes to swim. What should take five minutes.

So I think a lot of people are sitting there going, property is going to save me from drowning in the situation. I'm where in actual fact there could be something more behind it and our thoughts and feelings are the indicators that there's something more there.

How do you know where to dig though?

It's a process. So I've been learning more and more intuitively to listen to people and understand what's behind what they're saying. So for instance, I can take people through like a 15 minute conflict deconstruction process. So a conflict they have at the moment with someone that feels there's a heightened experience around it and ask them about, you know, what are the feelings you have around this? What are the thoughts that come up? What does that mean about you? What's that mean about others, what's it mean about the world? And from that what drops out is the underlying belief. So it doesn't solve the conflict, but we use the conflict, which is a heightened sense of emotion that allows us to pull out, well, what's that belief? And that belief might be, you know, unless I am good, seen, worthy, I don't get accepted, I don't feel like I belong. And so then it's an indication that allows us to look at and go, okay, so when you're feeling these feelings or you're having these thoughts, then maybe this is what's coming up for you. And this is not the truth. This is just a story from the past that's coming up. You now get to make the choice to say, actually you know what, I do want to invest in property. I do feel that this is this person giving me the advice or the research isn't quite right. I need to do more. And in the past I've deferred to experts because they know more than me. In actual fact, maybe I need to put some more thought or effort into this or take some self responsibility around this. So you know, we have these stories of I don't have enough, I need to have more to be safe. And that comes from usually a story that we've created by the time we're seven.

One of the other things that I find interesting about this is that we can have a solid belief in one area of our lives and then a shaky belief in another area they should translate over. But they don't. And like belief is I, I think the cornerstone of all of this. From my own personal experience. I remember having a coach years ago and this was basically the, the challenge that I set for her, saying I don't understand how I can do these huge physical things that professionals tell me I can't. Then I do them. And at the time I was trying to double my GCI. This is when I was an agent, GCI's gross commission income. And basically I was looking at it and I was trying for a few years. I was like, this doesn't make any sense, why can't I do it? And we basically started going like pulling back all of the Layers. And it did come down to self belief. It came back to this little belief that I had that I wasn't deserving the amount of money I was shooting for. I had this blocker of no, no, that's not actually for you, that's for other people. And, and again we started pulling all this apart. The thing, this is what I, I feel like I want to say I'm disappointed in myself right now because I feel like I've even experiencing that now.

Yeah.

Like Bianca and I will build the portfolio around 5 mil. Now the goal is to send it, to grow it to 10, then 10mil50.50 LVR with a 7% average yield. We've got a bit of high yielding stuff in there. It's on a 6% P and I produces a passive income of 200K. We've gone through these exercises you've talked about and that is, that's just solid good life. That's not driving Lamborghinis. But that's where we're happy.

Hiring a Lamborghini if you need to.

Well, yeah, that's what we want to do. What I'm interested to do with you, Jane. And yeah, depending on how this goes, I don't know if this will be cut or if this will be kept in. But I guess unpacking a bit of why am I still, in my own way, why is it after building already to 5mil, which I'm quite proud of what we've done, 10mil shouldn't feel impossible. But for some reason that voice is still there going, nah, nah, you can't. That's. And I need to. Yeah, I need to get past that.

Yeah.

Can we use this as a. Yeah. What do we do?

Okay, and here's it. Here's another thing. Like most people probably heard of the book the Secret.

Yep.

And the reason why the Secret generally worked for most people is that everyone knew about it.

Well, wasn't a secret.

Yeah, it wasn't a secret anymore. Everyone's sitting there with, you know, written on their, their mirror in lipstick, you know, I want to be rich. And if we think back to what's the subconscious hearing, there's this unconscious belief that has the power that's saying, well, you're not rich. Like why am I saying I want to be rich? Because I'm not rich. I don't deserve it, I'm not worthy of it. I'm not enough for it. I don't have capacity, I don't have the power, whatever that is. There's a belief there. So it's actually a negative vision. I want to be rich. So when I always thought about what I wanted to create, I wanted to have the freedom to do what I want, with whom I want, when I want. It wasn't around a passive income of $200,000. So where, just out of interest, where you may have been with your goals, with your coach for your physical activity is you wanted to, you had a positive vision of what you want to create. You're standing up there with the winning medal, you've done your pb, whatever it is. Whereas when you're at the financial goal, which was, I want to have this as my income, in actual fact, all you're doing is going to, this is a step too far. This is a hurdle I can't have. So you're actually got a negative vision. Even though you're saying, I want to be rich, I want to have this income. All your subconscious is hearing is, why are they saying that? Because they don't have it and they don't think they're capable of it. Whereas here, you're sitting here and you're going, I have the capacity to do this. And this is the goal that I want. And I want to be standing there as number one with that medal. And that's what your focus is. You're focusing on the end result here. You're focusing on your limiting beliefs.

What is it that distinguishes that then? Because I remember very distinctly, it's actually the only time I've ever yelled at my dad when I was walking to Melbourne. This was before the walk, when I was planning it. And I remember he kept calling me, trying to talk me out of it. And it actually came from a place of. He was fearful I was going to get like hit by a truck and get hurt. And I'm. I'm like 13 weeks off of being a father now. So, like, I'm sure I will be able to empathize that in a totally different way very soon. But at the time. We'll get back to the chat with Jane in like 24 seconds. Just a very quick sponsorship message first. Now, it is more important than ever to pick the right location. As the wise Warren Buffett says, be fearful when others are greedy and greedy when others are fearful. The smart investor knows now is the time to get into the market. You just need to pick your asset with a little more precision these days. If you want a buyer's agency and your corners still picking strong markets and quality assets. Get in touch with InvestiKit today. Go to investikit.com. and speak with Arjun Paliwal and his team about your property investing goals and let them explain their unique approach to choosing the right property to match. Take action. Take control. You'd be glad you did talk to Investigate today. Go to investigate.com or simply click link in the show notes below. Right now, I hope you're enjoying the episode with Jane. Let's get straight back into it. I remember yelling at him and basically telling him, unless you can be supportive, like, you're out. Yeah, leave, go. And. And I was just so fixated on this is happening. I don't care what anyone says. That level of absolute certainty, belief, like, plugging that in, I feel like that's something that you can dig into. And I want to, like, unplug that from that and plug that into creating 10 mil.

Yeah. And your focus creates your reality. Like, my mother, before I went to sleep every night, used to come in, dad and mum come and kiss us good night. And she'd say, you're Jane Slacksmith. You can do anything but fly. And with God's help, you can fly.

Love it.

I had a belief that that was possible, and I have taken that through everything. You know, I currently reading a fantastic book by a neuroscientist. So I thought, well, why don't I call him up and see if he'd come on to my podcast? And so we're in conversations and it's like most people go, who am I to talk to a famous author? And I'm like, well, why not? All he can say is, no, it means nothing about me. You know, and what's interesting, when you get to a point like, you, you are very successful in your property portfolio. And I've been there. No one rings the bell at a million dollars and says, you're rich. Yeah, like, often you look back and went, oh, shivers. It was sometime last year, but that was your goal. And what happens is your friends and your family. Often when you're in property, you stop talking about property because you're like, they're judging or they're going, like, all you do is talk about property. And I know when I was telling my parents about, you know, we'd bought our sixth, seventh property, and my dad said, you better be careful, girl. One day you'll owe a million dollars. And I thought, oh, my God, if only he knew I owed, like, 3 million. And they're trying to keep us safe. They're trying to keep us in the shire, you know, Lord of the Rings. Stay here, little hobbit. Do not go out of the Shire. They're trying to keep us safe. They're actually doing it for our good because they worry about us, but it's more about their beliefs and limitations. And what they're saying is like, God, I could never walk to Melbourne. Like, there are so many threats and worries out there. And you're like, I see myself in Melbourne. Your dad's like, I see a truck. You know, it's where their focus is. And you can bet trucks are going to turn up.

And they did. Yeah, Hot tip. Walk on the opposite side of the road. For anyone doing that anyway.

Weren't you taught that when you were like, five?

Or just walk to oncoming traffic?

Yeah, yeah, exactly.

I did get told off by a cop once, but that's a whole other story.

So, hey, if you're up for it, I'll take you through the exercise.

Let's do it. Do I need to, like, lay down on a chair?

No, this is like, so painless. Okay.

All right.

Okay, so what I want you to do is think of a conflict that's recent, usually involving someone else. That is something that you've got a bit of a charge around.

And this is something property related, not any conflict.

It'll just pull out the belief. The belief's kind of like the golden snitch. We're just like, we're trying to find it. So any conflict, something you've got to charge around.

All right, so as far as conflict's concerned, I don't know if it's a conflict with a. Well, it's not a conflict with the person. But Bianca and I had a very tricky journey trying to fall pregnant. 20, 23. That, that was. That was a very, very difficult year. So I don't know, does this work?

Let's see. It's all an experiment.

Okay.

No attachment. We'll just. We'll see where it leads us. So. So think about the charge. So obviously you got a bit around this. There's a circumstance around the difficulty in falling pregnant. And what, at that time, what did you think about that? What were your thoughts? What were coming to you when it very first happened?

It was. This happens to other people. That was like the first thought. And then it was like, no, wait a second. This is happening to you. And so it's shock. Yeah, shock. And. And the thought of never having kids. I feel like I need to preface this with everyone's. This is a personal choice, but for me personally, felt empty. It just. Yeah, yeah.

So life. So you've had this shock, but the thoughts were this happens to others. This shouldn't be happening to me. Like, life without children is an empty life. Like, what's it all for?

Pretty much like, I just assumed I'd be able to have kids.

So how did that make you feel at the time?

I've done a bit of reflecting on this already. At the time, I like angry when I couldn't work it out. And I think it was demasculated is probably the word.

Okay. So to find out that, you know, you have a partner and a problem not being able to have children, you felt that your masculinity had been affected.

Very much in question.

Okay. So the power around understanding your feelings is to try to verbalize them to the nth degree. So angry is one word, but if you're going to go deeper on that, give me some insights into other words that are the feelings that really were, you know, you're struggling with at that time.

Yeah, angry, shortchange, disappointed. Sad was definitely a part of it. Empty, lonely. Like all of the.

Gutted.

Yeah, gutted.

It's not sad. It's like, really like, I'm feeling like it was a really dark.

And Bianca changed as a person.

Right.

We were fortunate that we very much stayed close, but I could see her becoming just more distant within herself, if that makes sense. Which made me, again, feel more like I was failing her as a partner because there was a bit of problem on both of our side. But the reality of it is more of the problem was on my side. So it's like I'm letting this woman.

Responsible.

Yeah. Yeah, very much.

And guilty.

That's probably a good one. Guilty. Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah.

Okay. So if you were, you know, this happens to other people, you know, this shouldn't be happening to me. Life going forward is going to be empty. And, you know, I'm feeling guilty, gutted, demasculated, angry, you know, sad, disappointed. All of these things. What does that say about you? If I'm going to define you in that moment? How do you define yourself in that moment?

Not a real man.

Yep, there you go. All right, so here you are not a real man. And how would you define others if you're not a real man? You've lost that masculinity. How. How are others? So in reference to that, it's like you're isolated, separate from everyone else. You're sitting in the corner because you're not a real man. How would you define how other others would feel?

If I'm talking to a man. A real man. Yeah, like. Yeah, like, it's They're. They're complete.

Complete.

Yeah.

So others are complete where you're kind of incomplete. You're a vessel.

Yeah, yeah.

Missing vessel. How does the world interact with you? So, you know, if we're going to say you're incomplete, you're not a real man. All the other men in the world are complete. How does the world judge you? How does it orientate to you? And, you know, when I say this, it's like, you know, you're worthless. You're worth nothing. You may as well be dead. Like, you know, life is not worth living. Like, what am I here for? Like, you know, your definition of the world is what?

I don't like saying this out loud. Unfair.

So the world's unfair and it punishes those that aren't complete.

Yeah.

Ignores, punishes, leaves behind.

I can see why people don't do this. Jane, this is uncomfortable. Okay. So I feel like it's such a loser mindset, but, yes, that. That's. That's what it felt like. Yeah, absolutely.

And so it's okay to be emotional about this, because what you're doing is you're identifying the fact that this is how you were at that time. So how did you act? You were feeling not like a real man. And the others, you know, they had it all together. And the world's unfair, and it's judging you and it's isolating you, and you're completely separate. How did you turn up? How did you act different?

Because. And I remember taking note of myself, like, there was a few things that I noticed. I. I don't watch violent movies at all. Don't like them. And I remember watching a few more consistently because watching, like, men beating each other up all of a sudden made me feel more manly, more masculine, which is, again, that's just. Anyone that's known me for a period of time knows that's not in my DNA. And I also found myself getting jealous, which is also another thing that, like, I can't stand it. I hate it. And it was. It was of someone that I'm actually close with, and. And I met through the podcast, very successful person. And they were saying something to me one day, and I just had this feeling of, like. And I remember thinking, like, wait a second. I've always been the person that cheers on success. That's like, oh, my God, how did you do that? That's incredible. Teach me your ways. Like, excited and genuinely happy.

You went back to the comparison of, they're a real complete person and I'm incomplete Correct.

And that made me angry.

You were trying to compensate for this demasculation that you're going through that we just made up.

It's a good one, though.

And you were doing that by acting more manly, watching the violent movies, being jealous, having that alpha type of attitude where you hadn't had that before, but you had that awareness that you had that. Which is great.

That took like a year to get that, though. I didn't at the time. It was probably end of 2023. And you know what? The thing that actually probably gave me the awareness was that when we actually got a bit of a beacon of hope, because at the time my backup plan was always like, oh, we'll, we'll adopt a little person if we can't, can't have. If IVF doesn't work. And then adoption in Australia is basically just non existent. It's like three to six children in South Australia get adopted every year. It basically doesn't exist. But then when we found this clinic in the Czech Republic and we went over to Czechoslovak, not Czechoslovakia, the Czech Republic, and adopted an embryo that when there was this, ah, there's actually. This could happen. This could, could work. That was when I started noticing it within myself.

Yeah.

Before then, I'd like to say I was all enlightened and I noticed it, but I didn't. Yeah, it just.

Because there was a separation between you and others in the world because as you said, life was worth nothing. It was like, you're empty. There's. What's life without a child?

Pretty much, yeah.

Yeah. And then you had this opportunity to have a child. It's like, okay, now I have that under control, how am I turning up? Well, this is not how I like it. So if you think about this, you know, your thoughts were, this happens to others. I can't believe it's happening to me. How can life go on? Like, I'm feeling empty, like I just expected I was gonna have children and procreate. Is this assumption that you grew up with and now you're feeling emasculated, emasculated, disappointed, lonely, sad, gutted, responsible, guilty. It meant that you're not a real man, you're not complete. Others are complete. World's unfair. You know, you're starting to compensate with this by, you know, watching violent movies, being more manly, etc. What was the underlying assumption that was there for you? What, What's. If you really go deep and you're like, God, you know, what did that mean about you? All of these things you weren't complete life as you expected it wasn't going to be like it was going to be.

I guess I don't get what I want. That's probably what it don't deserve. Yeah, maybe it's a deserving thing.

Yeah.

If, if the thing that everyone else.

Just gets, it's for others.

Yeah. It's not for me. I don't want to cut this, this off, but is. And if I'm understanding this right, because the ADHD side of me is already jumping 10 steps ahead. Are we getting to the narrative of this is what's making my decisions?

So if you think about, if I just, if I can offer this to you. Of course, if you think about the situation you talked about, where, you know, you're at, say 5 million dollar property portfolio and you're looking at the 10, you're like, how can others do this? This is not for me. There's a barrier, there's something there. And you look at this situation, this is not for me. You know, I can't believe this. Like, I can't do this. Like this is separated. This, this is so far beyond me. I can't deal with this. And so the way that you turned up in this situation was you overcompensated for that manliness, you know, you over. You did it. So you might leave and look at this situation in context now of when your thoughts and feelings come up around other things that you're in conflict or you're not getting your way and you go, okay, if I step back and I know that my thoughts and feelings are from a storybox that I have of past experiences, not the billions of things that are available to me. And I'm defining myself of not being enough or not being complete and therefore excluded from the world. How am I turning up? How would I turn up in context of this conflict of I can't get the property portfolio that I want because that's for other people, that's not for me. And how are you turning up for that? Maybe you're overcompensating in that too. You're doubling down and you're putting all this effort and work into it and still not getting somewhere. And you're like, because this, this underlying thing, that it's not for you, it's for others. And so when you see this as the end result that you're not getting what you want and you're sitting there going, it's for others, it's not for me. You can orientate and go, okay, that's information. It's just information. I'm not going to make it mean anything. But what it means is, for me, right in this situation is that I don't feel I'm good enough or I don't feel that I am worthy of having all of that, and then I'm excluded from it. So I have a choice of going down that narrative, of reacting to that. Because, you know, we're human. Pain is inherent. We're always going to have circumstances that are going to be painful for us. We're going to make us uncomfortable. But suffering is optional. And you get to look at this and you get to say, okay, so how am I going to deal with this situation? This is not how I planned this to be. Is life really over and incomplete for me if I do not have a child?

No, it wouldn't be. We are lucky now that we do about to. But again, he technically is an adopted little man from Europe.

So you've got a resolution to this conflict, which is great. But normally in this situation there's a choice that goes, oh, gosh, what would I really love? And so if we look at the emotion of this situation, this loss, this guilt, this sadness, this bouncing back with this alpha energy, and then look at something you love. So if you just picture for the moment something you love, that, that first piece of information that you could have a child, that glimmer of hope, the first scan, you know, the, the fact that 13 weeks from now you're going to be holding a child, that absolute emotion of that beautiful situation, and you step into that doubt, the guilt, you know, the. It's not for me. And you've got these two emotions. If you can use that higher emotion in a situation and you can actually direct, you know, these emotional chemical reactions and make the feeling around something positive. So, yes, there is a conflict, Something's come up. What could be the best possible outcome for this? What could be a situation that you would love to have from it? It might be a situation there or conflict that you have with a family member or, you know, your portfolio, whatever it is. And you go, what would be the, the best outcome? What would. If I could focus on and put an emotion to the best outcome, what can I do? What can I achieve? So if you're sitting in this and you're going, the conflict is, I can't have a child. This does not make me less of a man. It does not make me less of a human. I can still contribute to the world, I can still have a loving relationship. Everything is okay. It's not how I expected it to be. Everything's okay. And what happens from a neuroscience point of view, if you create that end result of what is something you really want? I want to love. I want a life of love, of connection. It may not be through a child, but it may be through my relationships and the way that I can service the world. And you have that. What happens in this brain story box? This story box your brain has is it value tags. If you can put a higher emotion on an experience and the brain doesn't know if it's a past or future experience, you putting the outcome that you want, the result that you want, and your value tagging it, which gives it a higher hierarchy. When the brain goes, quick, quick, give me a story that I'm going to. And you're like, I want connection. You know, I want to be able to make a great contribution and, you know, be able to bring my love to the world. And may not be through a child, but I want to bring my love to the world. That's what I want. You're into a situation and you're having a next conflict or a next problem, and your amygdala goes, okay, got three seconds prefrontal cortex before I'm like going to activate my fight flight fawn or, you know, flee kind of mechanism. And your prefrontal cortex goes, oh, I want connection. How can I turn this situation into where I have connection, where I am not reacting from a story of I'm being separate from the world? The world's unfair.

If I've understood you right, and correct me if I haven't, I need to place acceptance on the negative side of the experience, irrespective of the solution that we've found. Because if I don't place acceptance on that negative side of the experience and turn it into something positive moving forward, then that negative story is still going to play as an undertone with my decisions in other areas moving forward. Is that right? Or have I taken you on a different path?

It's not acceptance. So what it is is it's a understanding that it's just information, and it's the way that you've interpreted that information. So the information that you've taken from that situation is just information. It's not something you need to react to. It's something that's like, isn't that interesting? When this conflict came up for me, I went all alpha male to compensate for the fact that I didn't feel manly. So it's just. It's just information, okay? And so you're sitting there and you're going, isn't that interesting? You know, I feel that others get everything they want, whereas I don't. So in the next situation where you're feeling conflict, you're feeling tension, because tension seeks resolution. So you're looking for a resolution and your brain's trying to help you out, going, what's the resolution? Where have we come from in the past? Well, in the past, what you've done is you've gone all ho, hog. You've gone, fight. You know your fight response. You know the alpha male response. And you sit back and you go, okay, so I'm not accepting this. Like, some of these conflicts are really significant conflicts. You don't have to accept the fact that a plane crashes and kills people. You go, okay, that's a situation. But how do I. I get to choose how I respond to that. Yes, it's upsetting. I don't have to accept that things that have happened in my life are all fine, and I'm going to put a positive construct over that trauma.

So this isn't about rewriting the emotion of it.

No, this is not about rewriting emotion. This is around you choosing the emotion of what you really want. So you choose the emotion and you create the reality of what you want. So what you really wanted was connection, family connection, connection to others. Now, you saw that as a child, but that had been excluded from you. And so you're like, so what do I really want? I want connection to others. I want connection in deep relationships. I want to be able to leave my mark and legacy on the world. Now, you may have thought that was through a child, that you could educate, pass on information, create a beautiful environment for if that was excluded from you, like, what do I really want? What is the real thing that you want? And so what happens here? And we're kind of getting into, I guess, a lot more deeper information. But what's happening here is that you've got an opportunity to change the narrative that your subconscious is getting. And so your subconscious is there going, here's a situation. How am I going to react to it? The way I've always reacted to it, or am I going to see this as information? And I see these thoughts and I see these feelings come up, and I know they're not real. I know the feelings are just coming from the box of stories that I've got where in actual fact there's so much more available. What do I really want? I really want. And so rather than so we're just Using a conflict as a way to kind of dig out the golden snitch that it's hiding, which is, you know, basically that, you know, you don't feel that, you know, everything's for others. Not for you. It's not for me. You're excluded. The world excludes you. It's unfair. That's an underlying belief that's running for you. So we pulled that out. And now when you have thoughts and feelings come up, you go, is that what's running for me? Is that what's going on?

Is that then what I need? Because, like, realistically, getting from 0 to 5 mil is way harder than getting to like, like 5 to 10.

Buying the first property is always harder than buying the second. Third, fourth, tenth.

Exactly. So I know, and I feel like I'm probably going to get some hate in the comments for, oh, five million.

But who cares? It's just information.

Yeah, but is, is that basically the story that I need to then look at? Of the whole, like, I don't get what I want when I'm.

It's for others.

It's for others. So when I'm thinking of 5 to 10, let's just call it that way, I need to, as soon as I have a moment of, I can't do this. That's not right. Some kind of blocker to the actions I need to take. Are you saying, like be conscious.

Be conscious. So this is the conscious awakening of going, wait a second, what's coming up here? What I'd offer for you is don't think of the goal as going from 5 to 10. Think of what the 10's passive income gets you. Connect to that. So what?

Escape velocity.

Okay, so tell me, what does that get you when you think of a $10 million portfolio, $200,000 income a year, what does that get you And Bianca.

That gets us just complete choice over. Like I said, not rich, but just comfort. Something happens to the little man, we don't need to go, oh, I need to go to work. I can't be with him. We want to go, hey, let's go to France and teach him French for 12 months. We can just do that. Yep, that's what it gets.

So if you think of, rather than thinking of, I gotta get to 10 million, think of the freedom that gives you. It gives you the opportunity to respond to opportunities and challenges. You know, the little guy wants to be an equestrian rider and buy horses. Isn't it cost you a lot of money? It happens. So all you're thinking of is the Opportunity that, that gives you that freedom. So connect to that, create that story. See yourself in France. See yourself on the yacht. See your yourself in the fast car. See yourself in, you know, being able to provide for your family and not have to live in lack. And you concentrate on that. You're not excluding, you know, it's not comparison to others. Others have got 10 million. I can't have 10 million. It's for others. You're concentrating on what you really want. Your focus creates your reality, your value tagging with that heightened emotion, the story, the narrative that you want. And a situation will arise and you're going to. Okay, how am I going to respond to this? Am I going to respond to this as the little thinking person who goes, oh my gosh, I have to spend money to make money, or are you going to respond to this? Going, this gives me the opportunity to get closer to what I want.

Okay, so I'm shifting the focus from going from 5mil to 10mil to being able to have options with the family, essentially.

Absolutely.

Okay.

So living a life of freedom.

Living a life of freedom.

Yep.

Okay. And by doing that, that's what's going to help me shift the negative subcurrent, I'll call it, or undercurrent. It's for others, not for me, into. I can do this. This is for. For me. This is for us. I deserve this. Because we're shifting the. We're shifting the focus to something that's positive. If I'm understanding you right, shifting the.

Focus to something that's. You can put an emotional positive higher.

Gotcha.

And so your brain in any situation is going to go quickly. I have to come up with a story that allows me to put context and information around a situation that's happening. And one might be, it's not for me. And one might be, hey, I want freedom. And so if you put the higher emotion on that freedom, what happens? MRIs show it scientifically proven it value tags that as the higher default orientation. It's like a positive expectation.

So when you say value tags that essentially we're talking about, that's what rewrites that as the. The go to emotion.

Exactly. The go to experience.

This is coming together.

So if you think about. And I'll just offer this to you. When you found out that you couldn't have children, although you had that, you know, the feelings and the thoughts that came up, was there a bit of a here we go again. Others get this, I don't. Was there kind of like a damn.

Not to Begin with, it didn't feel real, but after. Yes.

Yeah. So this is something that's been running for you for ages. And I'd assume that in any conflict or tension, that if you really went deep into it, it's like, not for me.

I've uncovered something similar in the past, and apparently it comes back to a false memory that I've actually asked my dad about. Yeah, it's not, apparently not even real. I can still see it in my head. Dad was leaving mom and dad got divorced when I was like, three, and dad was taking all of the wood out of the shed. And I was angry with him because I wanted to build a pirate ship. And I can still feel the anger. And. And I was like, where am I going to get wood to build a pirate ship? And it came back down. I actually confronted him about this and he's like, that literally never happened. I didn't take anything when I left. Like, everything was left behind. Like, I took my shirts out of the wardrobe and that was. That was it. And it's this memory I've constructed. Who knows where it's come from?

He took your childhood dream, Apparently. Yeah.

Yeah. So I think you're right. I think that this is something that is probably deeper within me that for some reason doesn't pop up all the time, but pops up sometimes when it comes time to do, like. Like, I gotta admit, I'm a pretty fortunate person. Like, I get to sit here in front of you, Jane. Like, I've. I still remember years ago reading your articles in magazine. Like, I'm in a pretty good spot. I really don't have much to complain about, so I feel like there's almost a selfish part of me that's like, I don't have the right to even do this.

Yeah. But, yeah, it's for others, not for you. And, you know, it's. It's interesting. I was approached recently. Someone asked me to do some business coaching with him. And they knew that I did that type of work. And he wanted to. Silicon Valley business, wanted to take his business to 10x and what it's doing, very successful now. And. And I was saying, well, what do you think the problems are? And he's like, oh, the sales team, they're not following the script. I can't trust them. I was like, okay. And any other problems? He's like, oh, the team, you know, I could do the work better than them. I'm like, so you see them as a liability, not an asset? How many hours a day are they saving you about 10 hours a day. It's like, okay. And I was like, so it sounds like there's some trust issues here. He said, no, I've got no trust issues. I'm like, if you're going to take a business to 10x, then you're going to have to not be the smartest person in the room. You're going to have to trust a new CEO, a new coo, like you're going to have to build a business and I can help you with the trust issues. I said, tell me a bit about your childhood. And he was saying essentially he'd been abandoned and he had constructed this story around trust and he couldn't trust people and it was all on him. And he's like, oh God, I've never seen this. Now I can see this. This is incredible. Yes. Okay. I'm like, I can't build you a sales team. I can't build you the, the venture capital that you're going to need to do this. I can't introduce you to the Silicon Valley coos, but I can help you with this trust thing because you need to get over this before you can build your company. And he's like, that's it, I'm all in. And I was speaking to my husband that night and he said, oh, you know, how was your day? I said, I spoke to this really amazing guy, the great business. I said. He said, he's in a coach with me but he's not. He said, why not? I said, oh, he's going to come up with a reason that he can't trust me and he's going to come up with a condition to test me because that's the way that he operates. I know this is going to play out. And the next day I got his email going, look, I'm all in. I want to do the business coaching with you, but I can only work at 2am Your time. I'm like, sorry, I don't do that. It's like, ah, self fulfilling prophecy, people. He can't trust people.

I knew she was too good to be true.

Exactly. So he's got this story going, I can't trust people. And there it is. Because you can prove your beliefs, right? Because you've got history, prove your beliefs. So if you can see them and you can go, okay, am I turning up for my beliefs in this situation? Am I turning up that it's for others and not for me? How can I change that? Well, what do you really want to create what's the focus creates your reality. What's the reality you want? And step into the higher emotion of that and make that a value tag. When your subconscious is going, where's the story? I'm going to pull from really quickly so that I can come up with an action for the next situation, whether it's property investing, career, personal relationships, and that's, you know, I've spent 20 years educating people on property investing. I'm like, why are some people getting it and why are some people not? What is getting in the way? And I'm like, I'll give them more research, I'll give them, you know, more tactics. I'll give them more information. And they're still stuffing up. I'm like, what is it? And it's them. And until I could actually shine the light and go, you know what, there's probably something running here that I can't. I can make you aware of, but it's up to you to choose in any situation how you're going to orientate towards what you want. Are you coming from a lack. I'm going to be rich. I'm going to be rich because I'm poor, or I want to create this life for my family so that I can create the best possible life and opportunities for them.

Jamie, we're going to leave links to your new podcast below. Exit the Matrix for people that want to listen to more. Most of the time, I'm going to say 99.9% of the time when people do this, they won't be doing it on a public forum like I've just done. This will be a very private thing.

I do this very personally with people usually. But thank you for sharing and being so vulnerable.

Thank you. But I also wanted to ask you, before we start getting to the pointy end, what are a few books before someone's ready to talk about this? Because this is a real. This is a very raw thing for people to do.

Absolutely.

What's some reading material, something else that they can sort of start getting into to go, yeah, maybe this is the path I need to go down.

Look, I think that there's. There's a real point where we are in society today where a lot of people are looking at their jobs, their families, their relationships, and they're going, is this it? Is this it? Is. This is like, I'm working 40 hours a week for 40 years to retire on 40% of my income. Is this it? And that kind of like, is the point where people can start going, maybe there's something more. And if you're down the science route, you know, mind Magic by Dr. James Doughty is the latest neuroscience that's out.

That's the book you're reading now.

Reading now. Join a book club in my you success club group next week.

Awesome.

And I'll put the link to that as well. But there's Dr. Joe Dispenza. Like, he's been doing this for years and he has the science behind it. William White Cloud has a book called Secrets of Natural Success. Probably the easiest book of his to read. William White Cloud's the Magician's Way. And he's my personal coach.

I heard of that. The Magician's Way. Okay.

So I've had a coach for the last 20 years, business coach, mortgage broking coach, you know, and he's now my personal orientation coach and has been for the last three years on creating what I want in life. I think, you know, if great athletes have coaches, great people who want to live the full expression of their life have great coaches as well. And so his book has that kind of, you know, the Hinduism, the Buddhism, the Christianity, the Sufis, you name it. Like, he pulls on the traditions of the past. Robert Frisk's book, you know, all of those kind of teachings around, well, what's the orientation that you want? And all of those teachings are now being proven in science. And so what was, you know, woo woo in science, the world is round, you know, and that, you know, all of the things like 100, 200, 300 years ago that were woo woo are now scientific proof or we're at that stage now where all of these eastern kind of spiritual woo stuff are being proven by the wow and by the neuroscience. And I like that because, you know, there's no such thing as a left and right buying another. Another myth. But I like that because it satisfies my need to know, but also my need to let go and just accept it.

The magician's way. Mind magic. Dr. Joseph Dispenza. We'll leave a few links below. But this, this has been an episode, Jane, that has been rather uncomfortable, to be completely honest, probably the most uncomfortable one I've ever done. I actually think it's possibly been one of the more helpful ones I've ever done as well, as far as getting my own direction in the right or the right headspace. I'm going to be having a few chats with Bianca after, but I really feel like this has got the power to touch a lot of people. And I know I'm not the only person that looks at the situation sometimes and Goes just, why? Why isn't it there? And to find out that, that realistically, if it's you, that's a horrible and wonderful thing to find out. Because if it's you, it doesn't feel good. But if it's you, you've got control over it. You can dig deeper, you can do this. You can do these kinds of exercises, read these kinds of books, walk down this path. And it really is up to you to get the thing out of your way and completely change things.

Absolutely. You create your own reality. And when you realize that it's all on you and you've created the stories of your past, and you get to choo to create the stories of your future. Wow.

Speaking of wow, Jane, arguably the most important question of the entire show.

Oh, my gosh. The one I've been waiting for.

Jane Slack Smith, what is your favorite pizza?

Well, last time you asked me, I said it was the hot stallion, but unfortunately it has not been made for the last 20 years. It used to be in Lachlan street in Waterloo and I haven't seen anyone replicate it.

Okay.

My son last night did tell me that I had made the best pizza ever, which was like a $4 half price Hawaiian, which I put cavanaghi and salami on and some barbecue sauce. But I'll go to is the barbecue meat lovers.

Barbecue meat lovers. Okay. I actually think that would probably be. And someone. I should make a spreadsheet on this. But probably the most chosen one is maybe not barbecue meat lovers, but meat lovers.

Oh, no, no. With a twist.

But it has to be the barbecue sauce.

It has to be the barbecue sauce.

Okay. And you getting this anywhere special or this is actually at home?

Oh, no, no, no. This is Domino's. Nothing but the best. I live in Lygon straight Carlton and go straight to Domino's.

Oh, my God. Jane Slacksmith, thank you so much for coming down here and pulling apart a vulnerable but very helpful lesson for myself and hopefully others. I really appreciate your time.

Well, I really appreciate the opportunity. And I know this is not for everyone. This is not about property. But actually it is.

It really is. All right, if you guys are wanting more of this DM me, tell me, because I really feel split about. About this kind of, this kind of content. Like, personally, I think it's so underrated. And I know some people that are like, no, this is bollocks, just leave it. And others that dive straight into it. I've done a lot of self development work and this has actually opened my eyes up to why did I stop? Like, it's like I got to a point of success, and it was like, cool. This is really good. Good. It's like, but I'm not done. So if you're not done, why just. Why just start working on yourself and doing this with Jane? Like I said, I actually almost threw this episode in the bin because of how much I did share with this. And maybe I did overshare, but I was talked into airing this by a few people that said, even if you do get some. Some flack, this is the kind of thing that's really got potential to help more people. And isn't that what you're trying to do? And it's like, well, okay, you've cornered me there.

Yes.

Yes, it is. So I genuinely hope if you're listening right now and if you're in that point where you're listening, like, you know what? Like, yeah, I just can't work out what's going on, why I'm, in my own way, what's that thing? I never connected the dots between what Bianca and I went through and. And the way. And I've been thinking about this more and more and more. Like, I'm recording this intro now after Jane and I record this, like, a couple of weeks after. And the more I've processed this, the more I'm like, she's totally right. Like, and it's just about acknowledging it. It's not about bearing it. It's not about walking away from it. It's not about trying to make something that was quite difficult positive, because it wasn't positive, but it's about kind of recognizing how that feeling, that emotion that. That can. Can go down the filter of what. What I'm deserving of, what I. What I actually think I'm. I'm capable of. What it's done is. It's brought that awareness that whenever I get that train of thought now, I stop. I think, why. It's already, like, there's. There's actually some very big stuff we're working on here at Pizza and Property. And already just with this, it's. It's helped so much with the direction of what's possible, why we're doing it, how it can actually help people, how it can serve, how we can build this better, bigger, to go even deeper, to help more people build the portfolios they want, build the lives they want. And like Jane said, it's.

It's.

It's not about the portfolio. It's about going from the 5 to 10. It's about what does that actually mean? And since then, like, Bianca and I, we've revisited the budget, we've revisited the vision board. It's like, what is it all. We're shifting the focus to that stuff that has substance to it, that's positive, that pulls in the right direction. But I mean, like, all, all problems aren't going to be answered from 1:40 or hour long episode. But what it's done for me is it's revisited getting a coach, it's revisited reinvesting in myself, and it's revisited that it's. It's okay to have those crappy times, but what's not okay is. Is sitting in them is just continu Making life choices off of the back of the emotions of such negative experiences. That's not okay. That's not the way you want to live your life. Because I can guarantee you that is not conducive to the success that you want. That you obviously want. I mean, one, you're listening to a property investing podcast, and two, you're at the end of the episode still listening right now. So you're committed. You're the kind of person that right now you want to soak up every little bit of it. Every, like, give me every inch that could potentially make me more successful. And you know what the funny thing is? Actually, it's not the funny thing, but you are the person that is going to succeed. You are the person that is so committed to it that listens to an episode like this that goes, yeah, that. Wow, that. That was uncomfortable. That was actually a bit. I don't know about that. I don't know how to feel. Yeah, I'll give it a go. Maybe there is something that's actually holding me back. But like I said, you guys want more of this. I'm happy to lean into it because I actually really agree with Jane. I think there's so many people out there that I talk to and it's like, dude, you've got everything you need. What are you doing? It's like they're in their way. So tell me. Reach out. Either comment if you're on YouTube, DM me if you're on our Instagram, PM me if you're on our Facebook page, or just be one of these people that randomly seems to ring me out. I don't even know where they're finding my number. You could do that one as well. I might not pick up. I might not pick up all the time because I do a lot of things, but go for it. Try. But I can tell you. Someone that will pick up the phone if you call them is one of our amazing show sponsors, House Finder. If you just got everything in order, but you're like, actually, can I just get someone else to pull the trigger? Maybe getting me on the right page, but I want someone else to do all the heavy lifting. Absolutely, absolutely. Because if you think high cash flow, off market deals, off market bargains seem like a thing of the past. Not with House Finder. If you're looking to grow your portfolio, talk to Simon Lu and his team today. Chat with them about how they're consistently buying below market value properties producing rental yields many bas say are impossible. With almost a decade in the industry and a personal portfolio of over $20 million, Simon Liu and his team understand portfolio growth from a high performance perspective. If you're looking for some of the best property deals in Australia, get in touch today. Go to Housefinder.com, and chat with Simon Liu and his team. Or just simply click the link in the show notes below. But right now, guys, that is enough for me today. My name is Todd Sloan. This is the Pizza and Property podcast and as always, have yourself an amazing rest of the week. Stay awesome.