[Fay Chan] ​​​​​​​How do you know you're in the matrix without knowing that you're already in it?!

Welcome to Exit the Matrix Stories of Success with your host Jane Slack-Smith, where we celebrate the incredible journeys of individuals who've transcended their limitations and achieved extraordinary success.

Welcome to today's episode of Exit the Matrix Stories of Success, and as always, I have an incredible guest today who had that sliding door moment that we all kind of Look for or should look for, and she's here to share that with us. Now I have Faye Chan here. Now Faye's got an incredible pedigree of experience in so many different areas, but it's what she created after she had that sliding door moment that I really want to look at today. Now I'm just going to read this out because Faye has got so much going on for her. Faye is actually a certified clinical EFT tapping practitioner and a mentor for certifying students in EFT. She works with both adults and children. alleviating stress, anxieties, and trauma to restore calm and clarity. She loves unhooking their personal programming and conditioning to allow for emotional freedom in their thinking, feeling, and being. Hey, fan! Hey, Faye! Hello, Jane.

I'm a fan.

I was gonna say, I am a fan of Faye.

Hi. Thanks for having me.

Welcome to the podcast. And, you know, I really appreciate you being here today because I've had some personal experience with you, and I little breakthroughs, and I have to say it's been interesting. But let's just get back to, I guess, that first moment for you. You know, could you, uh, share with the audience what was the significant, you know, sliding door moment in your life where you overcame something, you had an awakening, maybe you had a great change in your life?

Well, it all started, you know how with all awakenings it starts with a whisper? And it— and then the universe keeps whispering, maybe louder and louder and louder, and then finally you go do it, right? And I remember as a graduate, um, at my first corporate job, I was overseas on a training, a training stint, and I was actually in the female toilets washing my hands and then having a chat with some of the colleagues there. And during the training, I thought to myself, is this it? Like, I'm dotting the i's, I'm crossing the t's. This is it. Like, I did all that studying, I did all those exams through year 12, stressed myself out, all that stuff. And you know, the interview process, trying to get a great job. Here I am in that great job, and I'm going. Oh, the training isn't all that I expected it to be.

So you ticked all the boxes, what parents—

All the boxes.

Everyone thought you should do.

Yep, all the boxes, right? And, um, and so throughout that first job as such, I had different whispers, just different whispering moments as such, until one day I really thought to myself, what am I doing here? Like, I don't know what I'm passionate about, and one more day here means one less day over there discovering what I might be passionate about. Because at that time, I had no idea what I'm passionate about. I just fell into the trajectory of results that was expected in me culturally, from the family, from society, from friends, and I was ticking all those boxes and on that trajectory, but it wasn't mine.

So, so you, you've had this ladies' room awakening.

Yes, I like that. Yeah, ladies' room.

And you're sitting there going, you know, and, and I, I think that happens to us. We get these whispers, whispers, whispers, and then we get a slap in the face going, hey, what's going on? Yeah, you talked a bit about, you know, culturally and society, you know, expecting this, this path that you were on and succeeding at, and, you know, with an incredible corporate, um, position. What were the obstacles and challenges that you faced then going to your parents or your partner or your friends and your work and saying, yeah, I don't know what I want to do, but I know it's not this?

Yeah, I, at that time, I had quite a lot of savings behind me. And so I had to logically analyze my positioning, right? And I thought, okay, I've got this much savings behind me. Even if I don't work for 1 year or 2 years, it's survivable.

Yep.

Right? And in that time, if I want to go back to Plan B, I go back to Plan B. It's not a problem. I can find a job. So I knew that was taken care of, but then I had to have the conversation. So at that time, um, my boyfriend at that time knew I was going through, I guess, an early, early life crisis. I don't know, whatever you call it. And he knew I was already in that inquiry. Yeah, in that introspection. And, um, and when I told my parents, they— I, I think they thought I was crazy.

Yeah.

Because I had no job to go to, right? Had savings behind me, and I just wanted to discover what the hell it was, right? And I didn't know what it was. I thought at that time it could look like recruitment, it could look like advertising, it could look like marketing. I didn't know, but I needed to leave to know.

So you actually needed to create that space and, you know, by having the financial security behind you, you had that freedom of choice to say, well, I've got that. I've got a plan A and plan B. So when you were in that space and there's advertising and recruitment and all the marketing, all these other things that you're thinking about, you know, how did you find that vision, that calling?

Well, that took a while. That took years to find actually. It didn't come immediately. What I did immediately was I knew I had lots of different friends in marketing and advertising agencies. Um, in Melbourne and in Sydney. So I start set up interviews with them. I bought them coffees, bought them lunches, and I said, what's it like? And then I flew up to Sydney, stayed at a friend's, and started interviewing other people as well. What's it like? And when I collected all my interviews, I just thought, oh, it's not that great either. I'm like, okay, back to square one, because it's not— that's not it. like the advertising world, the marketing world is not it.

Yeah.

For me. Um, and I knew I wanted to, to help others, so I fell into recruitment for a little bit. And in that space, I knew that I wanted to make a difference to the interviewee opposite me, but I knew I had to fulfill a purpose and fulfill a role, and I didn't like fitting people into a box either.

Yeah.

But I knew I wanted to work with people. And so that started my train of thought into, oh, maybe it's training development.

Right.

So, but I needed in that liminal corridor between quitting my job and then discovering what it is, even though that what it is took a long time, I needed to take actions to step me closer to the next door.

And so what I'm hearing is that There was a path of research that rather than jumping into something, it was like there's something here, there's something here. And there was a pivot that went, it's, I'm interested in and the people that I'm talking to are enjoying marketing, advertising, recruiting. And whilst you explored that, you're like, well, it's not actually what they do. It's that the transformation and the connection that they're having with the people they're working with, that actually drew your attention to Something more.

Yeah. So I needed to chip away at it, right? It wasn't, it wasn't like, what was that saying? You, you chip away the marble and then David shows up, right? I needed to chip away at it. I didn't, I didn't know who David was, my David, right? I'm like, who? I don't know. No idea. But you needed to chip away at it. But unless you did the chipping, David's not going to turn up.

Yeah.

So, so you're chipping away, you're finding what's, uh, your calling, you're stepping into different things, which is quite, um, liberating. I think for people listening to this because it's like, oh, you don't have to know the one thing, you know, you don't have to know your thing. You just know that there's a little bit of uncomfort that says this is not my thing where I am at the moment. And it's a process of exploration. So you've been through this kind of trajectory, this path, this journey. What's it look like now? Now that you've exited the matrix, what are you doing and how are you serving people?

Um, well, I'm a certified EFT tapping practitioner.

Yeah.

And my work, my work is extremely fulfilling.

So EFT is?

Emotional Freedom Techniques. Oh, that sounds right. It's a modality that combines Eastern acupressure meridian points as well as Western cognitive and exposure therapies, right? So it's a combination of the two. And it literally helps alleviate— well, initially to trigger and activate where the discomfort is anchored in the body behind emotions and physical sensations, and then using that to release so that it doesn't come up as an emotional block for you manifesting in a physical pain or ailment.

So you're— I guess what, what I'm hearing here is there's a mixture of Eastern and Western you know, modalities that have been combined that allow you to assist people in seeing what's holding them back.

Correct. Yeah. And the thing is, people come to me with the 10% that's above the water of the iceberg, right? We don't know until the tapping session what belies underneath the 90%, inside that 90% that's underneath the water. So you might come to me with ailments or repetitive habits that doesn't work for you. Sleep anxieties. I can't stop eating the chocolate. Um, I don't know how to ask for more money, whatever the block is. And that's the 10% that's above the water. And then I won't know what shows up until we're in the session.

So it's interesting, isn't it, that, um, you know, we're talking here about exiting the matrix and, and the people listening here are going, you know, I want to hear stories of people who have done it. You're working with people who are in the process of going, there's something holding me back. I'm feeling a little awkward. Uh, you know, there's, there's, and I'm uncomfortable and I think it is I can't ask for a pay rise.

Yep.

So, you know, of all the people that you've been working with over the years, I'm interested in what are the most common, you know, holding you back kind of symptoms that people have? What, what do they come to you with and what are some of the things that you actually expose?

Um, usually they come to me with, I can't, I, I can't seem to say something, or I can't seem to express myself or put myself out there, if it's inside a business context.

Yep.

Right. Um, so there's something there about worth or about shame or about embarrassment or something, something like that that's hooking them and laboring on them. Um, with a lot of different physical ailments, I'll see people with sharp shoulder pains that they can't shift. And they've seen everyone. They've seen the physio, they've seen the chiro, they've had scans, they've had whatever, right? Some— what do you call those things? The ultrasound.

Yep.

Right? And it can't be shifted. And they come and see me, and we actually give permission to the body or subconscious to speak about the pain, and it literally lifts. And it's not as easy as just going, oh, I give permission to the pain to say You have to cough it up. Yeah, you have to cough up how come the pain is there and your body anchored it there for a specific reason. So, so even though it's not health and medical that we're looking at, it's the emotional anchors that we're looking at underneath the ailments.

It's interesting, you do a lot of work with children as well.

Yeah, I do.

How does, uh, how do kids take on this kind of, uh, you know, a different way of dealing with whatever they're going through?

Well, it's easier with kids, right? They've got less baggage, for one. And, um, they're very connected to their bodies. They're still very aware and connected. And because it is a somatic therapy, they're physically doing something with me as we're tapping along. So they're tapping on themselves, and I'm constantly asking them different questions. Because I'm not going to have them go, oh, memory came up. It's about, you know, my grade 2 music teacher. It's like they're not going to tell me that. They'll just say, well, 3 years ago this happened and Mummy can't hear and I don't like it. And I'm— it's my task to, to find out what's underneath it. What did they make it mean? What resonates and doesn't resonate? So it's a lot more guess— not guesswork, but I need to get a lot more feedback from them and test it with children, but it works brilliantly much faster with kids than it does with teens or adults.

Now, a quick word from our sponsor, Your Success Club. Your Success Club is a group of vibrant abundance seekers. If you subscribe to exitthematrix.io, we are going to drop you into the club room, which has lots of goodies resources and a free gift just for subscribing. Now back to the podcast. With children, have you seen— I guess there's been a lot of commentary around kids in lockdown since 2020 and some of those stressful emotional things they've dealt with and dealt with, they've experienced and maybe not dealt with. Have you seen an increase or a rise in that type of anxiety with children?

Yeah, it manifests quite differently, right? So there is a lot of anxiety related to school and related to going back to school. Um, but children will— it will come up so different. Like, like each kid will have a different personality. Like, each child will react to it differently. Like, one child I worked with, she went back to school, and because of the 2 years of lockdowns, English had had You know, decrease. So she was, she was put into a special class, right? Taken out of class, put into a more concentrated focus group to learn grammar, literature, all that stuff. And we had no idea until the session that she thought she was dumb because of that.

Right.

Right now, that's, that's as a result out of lockdowns and not having that persistent and consistent um, training and learning from, from school that she slipped. And then now she's been taken out separately into a different group, focus group, and she thinks, oh no, I must be dumb.

Yeah.

And so she was petulant, she was tantruming. Her parents came to me and said, Faye, you're our last resort. I— we don't know what to do with her.

And it was just a story that she played out because of what she was seeing in her— yeah, like mine, making an assumption about what they did.

Yeah. Whereas my son was in a class like that at his school, he loved it. He, he loved it. He got stickers, he had fun. It was a smaller group. He thrives in the smaller group. So for him, he loved it. He didn't come back thinking that he was dumb and stupid. He actually goes, yeah, I want to. Can I not stop? He didn't want to stop.

It's interesting, isn't it? I, um, I think we might have to do a bonus, uh, interview here. So for anyone who's listening to this, look around the page. I'll have a link to a a bonus interview because I think we want to learn a little about EFT. And maybe you could even offer us a little practical example of what it looks like because I'm sitting here going, I've experienced it and I was a little unsure when we first spoke about it. And it's an interesting experience to see. So we'll have a bonus interview. But just for fun, something I ask all of my guests, what's something that people don't really know about you? Something weird, cool, or unusual?

Well, I love writing poetry, right? I discovered it in Year 10 in English. I still remember Mrs. Cleary. And, and because English wasn't my first language migrating here, so I never took to it. But when I discovered poetry in Year 10, that was it. That was my way of expressing. So yeah, I've loved poetry. I do write poetry. That's why I do write my own social media posts. I, I do find it, that sort of expression, really liberating for myself.

Oh well, we might have to look out for a book on poetry. Hey, Faye Chan's poetry. Fantastic. Well, now something comes to mind When you actually decided that you were going to leave that corporate role with a big management consulting company, did your boss say something interesting to you? Did you have an interaction? Yes.

Yes. So I, I handed my resignation letter to my mentor, my career mentor that was actually at the same client. So I handed that to him, but then a partner pulled me aside and had me in a meeting room with him. And I told him how come I was leaving because he was wondering, have we done something wrong? I said, no, you haven't done anything wrong. I need to discover what's over there. And and one more day here meant one less day over there. And he stopped, and then he stared into space, and then he said to me, he goes, "Faye, go do it because I'm here with a mortgage." 3 kids and I can't. I wish I can, but I can't. So you go do that.

There you go. What a great way to wrap up this podcast. Thank you, Faye, for being a guest here. It's, uh, it's been amazing. We're going to definitely have a bonus interview, and I think you've got something to share with people. You were telling me a little bit about, uh, anxiety that people have. You're going to offer an experience of EFT.

Yes. Well, a lot of people have sleep issues and sleep anxieties, so I'm gonna do a free tapping video, um, on sleep anxieties. And so you can use that when you wake up or when you're trying to sleep or when, you know, you're just exhausted from having no sleep. So I'll be— that will be a free offer for your rest and restoration.

Thank you. I'm sure everyone will appreciate that. Once again, thank you so much for being here and thank you for listening to Exit the Matrix Stories of Success. And what a story of success is Faye Chan. And just a reminder, hey, let's just hack that algorithm and get more people seeing the podcast. So all I ask of you is go and download the podcast, go over to iTunes, look at the episodes, sign into your Apple account, all the things that they make it very difficult for us to do. Leave a five-star review and tell us what you learnt about this podcast because it's all about sharing, right? And please go over to exitthematrix.io and subscribe so you get messages when the next incredible guest turns up and a few little bonuses as well. So as always, here's to your success and thank you for joining us on Exit the Matrix Podcast.

Better fly, fight, fight, better fly, fight, fight, better fly.

Thank you for listening to Exit the Matrix Stories of Success. Make sure you subscribe to future episodes at www.exitthematrix.io. Until next time, here's to your success.