#15 Aidan O'Brien - Crafting a Winner's Mindset For Life

I always say it's not what I do, it's who I am. Yeah, that's the biggest gift you can give yourself is find out who are you and do that. I believe we all have gifts. Yeah, your mission is to find that. What do you do best with least amount of effort? Also, like, some things you think are obvious are mind-blowing to other people. Like, the things you do naturally that are simple to you, yeah, are mind-blowing to other people. Don't undervalue what you have. The more conclusions you make about yourself, the less alive you become. The key is to be more alive. Like, life is about experiences.

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Well, first of all, Rob, cheers, nice to be here. It's nice to have the Irish connection.

So I'm actually I'm kind of ashamed of this.

Okay.

You are the first Irishman on the podcast.

That's a disgrace. Yeah, no, but it's a special— makes it more special.

It does, it does.

It's more special because, you know, two Irish come together, Limerick and Dublin, bringing the heat on Black Friday. I think it's a thing of beauty in Marbella.

Yeah.

It's a thing of beauty. So I like—

because I, I only realized it last night that all my guests, like, had Joe Delaney as the first, Dorian Yates, you know, all these different people in Marbella.

You just kept making it better and better, and now you're reaching that highest level. It makes sense.

I've got pinnacle right here. So look, cheers to that.

Cheers to that.

Let's get our caffeinated in.

Absolutely, yeah.

So what was it like for you growing up in Ireland? I've been dying to ask some of that question because no one else gets it. It's the strangest place in the world. There's a lot of begrudgery. It's the smallest island on the planet mentally, and it's just an odd place that a lot of people kind of don't understand. So for you, where did you grow up and what was it like?

So yeah, I mean, I grew up in Limerick, which I always say is the Ireland of Ireland. Yeah. In terms of mindset and everything. So for me, it was, you know, always being someone who wanted to travel, who wanted freedom. You know, people always told me in school, oh, you don't belong in Ireland, because I played basketball, believe it or not. I know what you're thinking, white Irish guy, white man can't jump, what's he doing? But I love basketball as my sport all my life, you know. And now I run and do other things, but like, I loved, I absolutely love basketball. So, and I listened to hip-hop music and I used to DJ, actually DJed in Limerick as well, and some bars and clubs.

So I was a gangster Irishman.

I was a gangster Irishman over there. Some people don't know that history, and now they hear it for the first time. Again, breaking news here on The Game Plan. So yeah, just growing up. And when I was 16, I actually went to Tenerife for 3 months doing a commission-only sales job selling timeshare. Now at the end of 5th year, there was 2 weeks left in 5th year, and I was like, I hated, like, I hated school. I went to the wrong secondary school. I always say school got in the way of my education. So at the end of 2 weeks, a friend of mine had an uncle in Tenerife and it was a chance to go. And I just went. And I mean, 8 of us went, only 2 of us lasted. It was commission only. You can imagine, 16, first month buying fake Rolexes, steak dinners. And then after a few weeks, I was eating dry bread sandwiches and drinking water, like I was fucking broke. And that was the first, I started my real travel bug and that entrepreneur bug. And I came back to do my Leaving Cert. I did 2 weeks of 6th year and I left. I was like, this is not, they wanted me to repeat my 5th year exams and I was like, half the school doesn't do them anyway, you know? So like now you're putting me under, like I just didn't get along with the people.

So did you end up doing the Leaving Cert?

No, I never did my Leaving Cert.

Whoa, that's impressive. 'Cause I'm kind of anti-college, but I do say, like recommend, you know, you should get a Leaving Cert. So that's even more impressive that you've got to where you are without that. I'm impressed.

I didn't know, I'd say school got in the way. My education started after I left school. So I used to go to America every summer playing basketball. I used to work doing construction in the day and then play basketball at night. And then I was just a dreamer. I've always been a dreamer. So I was like, I'm gonna play in the NBA or whatever, whatever I could do. And then I ended up lifeguarding for a summer there. And that's, you know, then I got into fitness after that. I, you know, was a personal trainer in Limerick and I ran gyms. And 2009 then, which was really, Ireland was depressing then.

I would say so, yeah.

Right, in 2009. I don't know if you remember. So I went working on cruise ships and I was again teaching health and wellness seminars, but I was good on stage. And I was like, this is like, I love health and fitness, but I love working with people. I love sailing. So I was number 1 in sales of 147 cruise ships.

Wow.

In 2009, I was 23. I was teaching seminars to 400 or 500 guests every day, doctors, surgeons, all about health, wellness, nutrition. And I remember, like, I just loved it, traveling all over the world, the whole Caribbean, Mediterranean, on the ships. And 2010, I read Rich Dad Poor Dad, and I was like, I got a gift on the airport on the way home. And I'd signed a contract to go on the next cruise ship, and I said, I'm going to be an entrepreneur. I'm going to do it. I'm going to have money work for me, not me work for money. Yeah. And I called the cruise company in Miami, and I was like, I'm canceling my contract. I'm not coming back. I said, the next time I'm going to be on a ship, I'm going to own one. Yes. You're 24 at this stage, 21.

You got it all figured out.

And I became an entrepreneur. I always say before it was sexy, like 2010, you know. And I started doing my own events, speaking events. I was good at sales. I linked up with a direct sales company then. I traveled all over the world with them for 8, 9 years. You know, I was doing tours nearly every month, North and South America, Thailand, South Africa, doing a lot of sales meetings, business strategy. And I was building teams, you know. I kind of learned how to be a leader through and be a coach. I always say I was coaching before I became a coach. Yeah. Because to build a team, you have to be good at influencing people, communicating with people. It's not just about selling, but you got to build a relationship and everything. And 2014, I became a professional coach, and I was, you know, at the same time building that sales team that was sharpening my tools. I was then coaching people, running my own events as well. And that's kind of how I kind of got into it, or I was kind of in it without realizing it.

Yeah. And so where did you learn sales? Because they say like sales is like, it's the meaning of life, you know, it teaches you how to do everything. So is it self-taught for you or did you, you know, do a course or something?

No, I always say, I think a lot of us Irish, we have a little bit of charisma and charm about us. We're very welcoming, we're very good at connecting with people. You know, I feel like we see people really for who they are and we're good, we're like that.

No bullshit about it.

Yeah, very straight. And if we are bullshitting, we're doing it in style. So you can't help but respect it, you know what I mean? Like, when even on the ship, I always say the Irish accent helped, you know. I was good at sales, good at understanding people. But no, I just always had an interest in me. I say now when I do my sales trainings and business trainings with companies, just be interested in people. Like, that's the first place to start. You don't need to have, like, a lot of people want to learn scripts and all that. You know, the confidence comes from knowing who you are and what you want to talk about and, you know, having your integrity in the right place as well. And then for sure, over time and repetition, you get better and better and better. You know, it can be taught to a certain degree, but I think certain things in your personality definitely help with sales for sure.

Okay, and so when you're making this transition of becoming, you know, this sales guy, motivational speaker, did you have anyone in Ireland talking down on you, being begrudging against you?

Sure, dude.

And how'd you handle that?

My own friends and everything, people like just people kind of making fun and slagging and, you know, and even though I was traveling the world, they still make fun. Now maybe at this point now, I've gone home, they don't say nothing.

Like, yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.

But in 2012, '13, '14, I remember I was doing tours all over America, speaking on stage all over the world, you know. And yeah, people still take the piss and talk shit. And that's why I always went home for a little bit and got back out. Yeah, you know, I'd be home for a bit and got back out. Like, so I love Ireland, I'm proud to be Irish, I'm proud to be from Limerick. But for sure, the mindset, you know, and it's more open now, but when you're the outlier, when you're the black sheep, as they say, right? I said, not the black sheep, but the gold sheep, because you're valuable. Nice. —so when we're the, when we're the, the gold sheep of the family, you have to be willing to walk your own path. Like, being an entrepreneur is lonely. Yes. To trust yourself takes courage, right? So I talk a lot with my clients, and I know you say motivation speaker. I would say I'm not a motivation speaker. Motivation is kind of a byproduct of what happens when you start to know yourself, who you are, what you want, where you're going. You get clear on a vision, then you start to get motivated because you see your vision that's yours, you know what I mean? And what I do with clients now, whether it's executive coaching or business coaching, or even kind of— I don't like the term life coach because a lot of people call themselves that, but you know, for me, you have to walk the path first. Like, as I said, I built a sales team of 20,000 people in 8 countries the old-fashioned way. So I was coaching long before I was a coach. Yeah. Because you have to, like, you know, for me, it comes from experience, comes from living. Like, I call it borrowed knowledge versus knowing. Like, when you started, it's borrowed knowledge. You're reading books and learning from others, but you, like, have a sense of knowing now. Like, nobody can tell you other things. That came from experience, from walking the path. So again, going back to think about sales, if you have knowing, if you have experience, it's much easier to sell. Like, even now you probably don't consider yourself selling anything because you have a knowingness, you have experience.

Yeah, it's just second nature. You're just kind of speaking. Absolutely.

You're speaking your truth. Yeah. So really, you have to just trust yourself. And because when people are trying to bring you down— and that's, it's not just Ireland though, I've seen, because I have clients now from all over the world and they get it too.

It's any small town, any town.

But even anyone who's, who's working on expanding themselves, growing themselves And even if they're nice people, like, when you stretch outside your comfort zone, you're reflecting on other people that they're staying the same, you know, and that makes people uncomfortable. So I get that question, my clients, all the time. Like, my family are negative, my wife or husband is negative. You have to be— well, I call it trust and adjust. You have to trust yourself and then adjust as necessary. That's the most important thing.

And so when someone signs up to work with you, okay, first of all, where's most of your traffic come from? You know, where do people find you? Mostly on Instagram.

Okay. I was like, so yeah, most people find me on Instagram and, you know, or I'm on radio. I've been on in Ireland for news talk and things like that, or I go on other— I've done other podcasts, other YouTube channels. That's where people tend to find me, or even my own podcast now, people tend to find me there. So for me, I was resistant to the social media thing for a long time.

You were ahead of the game. Yeah, man, I embraced it. I loved it. So that's one thing that with me, so I, you know, I embraced it. I was like you know, one of the first people in Ireland to get on fitness YouTube. Not YouTuber, of course, but like, I would look at guys like Christian Guzman and all in America. And so I got on that first, and I embraced it. And I got a ton of hate as well. See, like, why does this guy have the audacity to think he's so sick that he's recording himself in the gym? And I'm like, have you not seen my biceps, guys? I did 3 sets of 12 today. Come on. So I, I, that's why I asked you about the grocery. But so So now you've embraced social media, but let's say someone comes across your page, they sign up with you, okay? What's the first thing you do with them? Well, first thing, I speak—

before anyone signs up, I speak with everybody because I don't want to work with everyone. I'm doing a long time. Like, for me, it's about results now. I don't care about motivating people. I don't care about making people feel good. That's why I think people resonate with me, is I'm very straight. I think that's an Irish thing as well. Like, I don't— I'm not here to fuck around. Like, let's get to the result. And because I've been doing it 15 years, I see people straight away. I see exactly past their bullshit, past their story. I've just seen it too much, you know? Yeah. Um, so I talk with everybody, whether it's group coaching, whether it's, you know, one-to-one, whether it's the corporate events, corporate training. I work with companies as well. I speak with everybody one-to-one, every single— I don't have any team to filter. Maybe in the future it's possible, but I want to know that they're the right fit. And I also want to— because I'm investing my time and energy, and I want to make sure they're going to do the work. And you've probably seen it in your business, a lot of people talk they want to do the work, but they don't want to do the work. It's tough. I get DMs every day like, you want to chat? No, you don't. Yeah, like, because they love their story too And people listen to this like, some of them, I want, I want, I want. You don't really want. You think you want because you live in illusion. Like you think this external thing is going to bring you something. It's not. Like it's the problem is the inside. Yeah. So someone, if we decide to work together, the first thing we do is we have to get, I always say curiosity leads to clarity. A lot of people lack clarity. They have to get curious. So as a good coach, you'll always ask them questions to bring stuff out, to help them look in ways you're not normally looking. Curiosity leads to clarity. Clarity leads to confidence. Most people today are lacking confidence, and it's because they lack clarity. And the reason they lack clarity is because they're not curious. They're making conclusions about themselves. So a lot of people today, I always say conclusions close doors, questions open them. People say, I'm like this, this is who I am, this is where my country is, my job is, my relationship is. Conclusions close doors. Oh, I love that. You know what I mean?

Man, I just had a nice little think on that there. I'm like, wow, that hits.

That hits. So that's why you got to be willing to ask questions. So the first thing we do is get clarity. Who you Like really, people listen, when's the last time they asked, who am I? Where am I going? What do I want? Who am I becoming? They don't, most people aren't asking these questions. And then we get creating a vision. A lot of people lack vision. They have ideas of what they think they want, but what they think they want is based on what other people have told them they should want. It's not really what they want. So again, a lack of curiosity, they just believe everything they think. And most of the stuff, even the word lie is in belief. Yeah. So most of the beliefs people have aren't even true, but no one questions them. They just leave them vague in the background. You have to be willing to question everything. Everything. So when I work with clients, the first process is really questioning everything, finding that truth. Like, the mission is alignment. It's not money, it's not success, it's not promotion. It's alignment. Because once you're fully aligned, you, you give fully, you have confidence, and now you can receive. A lot of people don't know how to receive. They're trying to get. Yeah, there's a big difference in getting and receiving. Receiving is almost effortless because you're walking the path that's meant for you. So that's kind of the first thing we do with clients is Let's figure out who you are, what you want, where you're going. And then what happens is once we see what's in the way of that, the blockages, the burdens, the beliefs, we work on letting go of that stuff. Now you create space. So right now you can't receive because you're full of shit. I don't mean that in a bad way, but you're full of all the stuff that's not yours. You're full of the beliefs, the stuff from your parents. Your parents only earned this income, so you can only ever earn this income. No one from your village lived this way, so you can't live this way. We have to clear away that shit first. Once we do that, now we create space. Now you can receive because your body is an antenna, your mind's antenna to receive. And that's why sometimes you get insights, you get ideas. You ever notice that? Yeah, yeah. Just close your eyes, you get this, where the fuck that came, like boom. But when you're too busy thinking of your thoughts, you can't receive anything because you're too busy thinking about your thoughts. So when we create or believe in the burdens or having the emotional sadness or anger, So once you heal that, now you can receive. And, you know, then you're taking inspired action every day. So it's not— there isn't challenges, but it feels way more effortless than trying to force yourself to something. Yeah.

And so you start off by asking questions, getting clarity. I love that. That was— I'm pumped, by the way. I'm ready to run through the wall now. So you start off by asking questions. Where— what happens after that? And what's kind of a good final result? See, with me and fitness coaching, it's very simple. You said, I want to get to I want to get to X number of body fat percentage. I want to get to X number on my bench press squat. And then, you know, you get there. It's a 12-week program. It's very clear. So where does it like end up with you? You know, what's like the final result that you're really happy with when a client gets it?

That's a great question. See, I always say there is no arriving. Yeah, it's a tough one, yeah. But life is always happening. Life is always coming, you see. And there's always evolution. There is no arriving. So a good result is when you are, like the result is, it's like yourself and the progress. The progress is the pursuit of progress is what satisfies. Oftentimes, after destination doesn't feel as good. Like, if you're ever training for a show or competing or something, it's the buildup you're enjoying the pro— you should be anyway, yeah, loving the process. You get to the show, great. It's like you want to watch, you want the car, you want a house. It's just a house, it's just a car. It's how you feel every day that matters. So what we're doing, what we're doing every day is really about peeling off to— I, I had a bit of an awakening about 2 years ago called Back to Me. I came to this Back to Me mission. My podcast, my book, my coaching, my group coaching programs, all called Back to Me. Because I believe we're all living outside of ourselves. Like, I think the world is pulling us away from ourself. It wants us in need mode, spend mode, buy mode. It wants us in distraction mode, consuming. Yeah. Needing. It doesn't want us at peace, because when we're at peace, what do we need? Nothing. Yeah. You just want sun, walk, you know, love. That's it. Breathe. You're happy. Like, you don't need stuff.

Yeah, I, I did— I started to interrupt, but I did like a recent— someone asked me that recently, and I'm like, whether my income goes up or down, yeah, my day's always the same. Sun, exercise, good food, and freedom. That's all I want.

That's it. And once you have that, you see, but the world doesn't want you like that because now you're at peace. Now you're happy. It wants you when, like, I need to fucking get to watch, I need to get the car, I need to get that person, and they want to eat that, I want to sniff that, fuck that, it's all needed, it's all pulling you away from yourself. So now you're dependent, you're vulnerable now because you need all this external shit you've no control over. Whereas when you go back to me and you fully know who you are, what you want, what do you need— nothing— then I don't need to scroll constantly, I don't need to do this, I don't need to consume that. You have more peace, and then you attract really what's meant for you. Yeah, now you can walk your path. So for me, that's the progress. And most of my clients stay with me long term because it's kind of— it's nice to get that number one, clarity, number two, the strategy, because you like— I know where to look. Like, at the end of the day, I just show you where to look. You have to walk the path. Yeah. And that's the third part, the accountability. So that's what we do. Clarity first, then we put a strategy in place, and that's the accountability to make sure you do it. Yeah. You know yourself, the accountability is one of the hardest parts because your mind is good at talking you out of it. Yeah. And because the hard part, the world is pulling you away from that. Nice. It wants you over here distracted. It doesn't want you knowing who you are because then you create freedom. Then you don't buy into everything you hear. Then you question things. You get me? Yeah. And you trust yourself and you make decisions that are best for you. That's why alignment is the mission. I'll say it all day. Very nice.

I love that. And that's not something I even kind of think of. Alignment, that's a word that I need to kind of think about more and put in my vocabulary a bit more. And is there a fitness aspect when you're working with someone? Of course I'm going to ask that. Of course. You know, does that come into play, like their overall lifestyle?

100%. I always, the last few years, a lot of people who follow me or know me, Dale, I always talk about motion changes emotion. So motion changes emotion. Emotion is energy. Emotion, you got to move your ass. And that was one of the hardest things for me this year. I'd run my first marathon. Like, I'm not a runner normally, but I got into running, did the Goggins Challenge, then I did a full marathon in Dubai in February, but fucked my hip at the same time pushing hard for it. And when I lost that ability to train, I was like, fuck, no, that motion changes emotion, because if you don't move your ass, the energy gets stuck here. Yeah. And that's why people, they're actually angry. Like, anyone listening with stomach problems, it's probably anger they've been holding on for a long time. So you gotta— motion moves that, you know what I mean? When you move your body, I encourage everybody, you know, whenever you're angry, pissed off, you want to send a text, write an email, yeah, write it but don't send it. Go for a hike, go for a run, go for a lift. You come back, you're like, I don't even want to say that shit. Like, that's petty. Yeah. Whereas when you're in it, you get brought down to that level. Whereas when you get moved, and that movement changes the frequency, changes the vibration. Yeah. So you're on a different level. So absolutely, you have to move your ass every single day. Yeah. And that's something I think we all Again, the world, when you go to any shop, just you have to go through a maze of shit to pay because it constantly wants you addicted to all that shit that's going to keep you inactive. So everything really is about kind of frequency and vibration of how are you when you're out here swimming, sun, eating healthier.

Fuck, it's a different— man, it's impossible for me in a bad mood, being a bad mood, like honestly. And so I love what you said about the tech thing. I always say 'Never make a promise when you're happy and never reply when you're angry.' I love that. Just always just try take a stoic approach and just take a step back and sleep on it for a night. There's very few things that like an 8-hour sleep can't solve. Absolutely, yeah.

But it just shifts your perspective, and that's what I say coaching does. Like, what all I do with people is elevate them out of where they're at to see it from a different perspective. Yeah. You notice the reality doesn't change then, it's just your perspective changes. Changes. So whether it's the movement, whether it's the coaching with asking the questions, getting clarity— the reality, everything is the way it is. That's why I always say there is no good or bad, there is no positive or negative. I don't use those words because everything is as it is. When you say something is good or bad or positive or negative, it's just your desire to control it. Yeah, because things you can control that suit you are good. Yeah, or positive. Things aren't are bad. So when you look at it, everything is as it is. I, I'm— I become non-reactive. It doesn't matter what happens. Again, I'm not there. It's a journey, right? But every day, if we can become more and more aware— that's why I don't believe in discipline. I believe in awareness. I don't want to live my life with discipline, to force myself every day to train. Yeah, that's not life. Awareness. I choose to move my ass to work out because it makes me feel good. I choose to eat this way because it makes me feel— I choose to wake up at this time and live this way because it makes me feel alive. Which would you rather? Or force myself? Alarm, get up, discipline, discipline. I have a chapter in my book called Awareness Over Discipline.

Damn, that's nice, because I always say discipline over motivation. We've now unlocked another layer. There's motivation, there's discipline, now we're on awareness. I'm fucking— I got a way to go now.

But I love that.

So go on a little bit more about that. Tell me about the chapter in your book.

That's the thing about this, like, this is wrong with discipline per se, right? But do you want to force yourself? Like, you've had times in your life you've had to force yourself. That's not life. Life is about living every single day, and that's why, again, the world wants you to celebrate Halloween, celebrate Christmas, celebrate New Year's. Every day should feel like— I guarantee you wake up here every day, you feel like you're celebrating a bit. Yeah, man.

So I deal— I'm gonna ask you about this as well— I deal with like insane imposter syndrome, and like I feel it's all surreal, and I feel like I've gotten further than I should have. Yeah, which leads to really great feelings of gratuity. Like, I think I'm one of the most grateful people that I've ever come across. Okay. And I have insane feelings when I wake up in the morning, like euphoric feelings and gratitude. But I also think someone's gonna knock on the door and be like, "All right, time's up." Yeah, "Time's up, you know, hope you enjoyed the villa." Yeah, yeah. "Linda's actually AI, she's not real. She just evaporates and goes." So how does someone like me—

That's gonna happen someday to someone in this industry. Yeah, it's true, yeah.

How does someone like me deal with imposter syndrome? Syndrome.

Yeah, well, it all comes back to, you know, I hate that stereotypical going back to your childhood, but that's where everything starts. Like, even if you had a good childhood, we had shit with our parents. Like, I had a good childhood, but my parents worked every day. Yeah, you know, for me and my brother. So when your parents working all the time, maybe they can't get your game. Yeah, they can't go to your show at school, or they can't go to your music, whatever you're, you're into, and you feel like, why not? Or maybe your parents are arguing, or maybe your older brother got the attention, or your younger sister got the attention. Yeah, there's all these traumas that are there So, you know, what we have to do when I coach clients, especially on the one-to-one or even in a group, we have to look at that. Yeah, I always say don't use the past as a home to live in. We use the past as a school to learn from. A lot of therapies want to stay back there. We don't want to stay back. I want to go back, look what's there, let go of it, heal it, and bring you back to the future. And then think, okay, let's— where are we going? Who are we really? So I want to get you back to me, back to truth. That's the beautiful thing, dude. You're enough. Everyone's enough already. You don't need a house, you don't need a job, you don't need nothing. Um, and that's the gift. I get chills, dude, for that one. Like, that's, that's the gift when you realize I am enough. I don't need— I always say need is an illusion. Yeah, man, that is chills.

That hits me. And you know what, I had not an argument with my sister, but like a disagreement. She's like— because we had pretty crazy, like, you know, family life growing up. Like, parents weren't together you know, then my 3 older sisters, they had to go to like counseling and stuff. And definitely not like all sunshine and roses. And so, you know, my sister was like, oh, we've got some childhood traumas to deal with. And I was like, nah, you're wrong, you're just making excuses. I don't remember any of that shit. And then I've been reading more into it, and now you just said that, she's probably right.

She's probably right. Yeah, there's absolutely stuff. And that's why, again, why people need discipline to force themselves to do things, because They're trying to do something to give them a feeling that they can't get outside themselves. Yeah, I'll say that again because that's a deep—

say that, say that.

They're trying to get something, they're trying to search for something, they need something to give them a feeling that they can't get from— they can only get the feeling from within. Yeah, but everyone— not everyone, the majority of people are searching for something, this feeling, and they think this external thing will give it to them, but it doesn't. You have it already. That's why when you reach for it, you lose it, because you have it. Yeah, it's kind of hard. That's as you go through the awareness and consciousness, as you kind of go deeper within yourself, you realize, fuck, I have everything already. Yeah, because I'm searching for this feeling, whether it's in a person. We often been like that in life where we stay in a relationship where we shouldn't stay. Oh, because I'm being there, it's giving us something that we're not— not you, Linda. Yeah, yeah, it's given us something that we can't give ourselves. We don't know, and that's why we stay. People stay in toxic relationships because they don't— it's scratching an itch that they can't— they don't know where to look for themselves. They don't even know it until afterwards. Yeah, that's another reason why people stay in repeating cycles so often, because They're waiting. We have the free will part. We often hear about free will. We choose when we learn the lesson, sooner or later, through joy or through pain. And some people keep going through pain, through pain, through pain, through pain. Eventually, once you start looking within yourself, that's why people eventually say, "Enough with the drink. Enough with this. Enough with this." And then finally they go back to themselves and like, "Ah, okay, now I get it." But as long as you're searching outside of yourself, you're gonna suffer. So again, that's why awareness over discipline, 'cause the more you become aware, the less you need. And then you start thinking of what you want in your life. I always say, when you feel it in your heart, it's already yours. I say to my clients all the time, don't think, don't think of your future, think from your future. So a lot of people are trying to think of their future. They're trying to think, right? So a lot of people are thinking of their future, not from their future. When you think from your future, you think, okay, what does that version of me look like? What does that version of me— what time do they get up in the morning? What do they dress like? What are they eating? What kind of life do they have? I have. Okay, now bring that back into the now. Now I start choosing from awareness from that. So when you think of you now, if 10 years ago you saw you now live in this place, this lifestyle, morning routine, all this kind of stuff, right? But imagine you could see what happened though back then was you started acting in a way that was matching this life now. Yeah. So you allowed yourself to receive this. Rob was received 5 years ago, 10 years ago by the choices. So that Rob didn't think of his future, he thought from it. Yeah. What does that Rob do? The successful Rob. What does that Rob eat like? What is that Rob relationship like? And you started unconsciously making choices back then that resulted here. So you receive this life. You didn't go and get, you receive, you allowed yourself by letting go of everything that's in the way of it. So what's in the way of being in great shape? Certain foods. Yeah. They're in the way. So you remove what's in the way, you're left with truth. True. Right? You remove the bad foods, you're left with good foods. Yeah. Remove the bad people, you're left with good people. Remove the doubts, you're left with confidence. Remove the fear, you're left with faith. So once you remove— that's the thing, we think we have to go get it. No, we have to let go, bro. Yeah. Once we let go of everything that's not truth, we're left with what?

The real us. Yeah. I love one, and this is something that really applies to fitness, is you got to act like the person you want to become. And book over there, Atomic Habits, classic, of course, everyone's read it. There's a point in that book, and you have to identify yourself as a fit person. Yeah. You know, instead of being like, oh, I'm the lazy guy, hahaha, you got to switch up that mindset and be like, no, I'm like the fit athlete that I want to be. I'm the confident person that I want to be, and fall into the identity of that. And another quick one that I want to pick up on there when you mention it is alcohol. Is the topic of alcohol. Do you drink alcohol?

Not much. Like typical Irish people back in the day, you go out for a weekend or a wedding, you drink too much. Yeah. I'd say in the last 18 months, I could count on one hand how many times. When I go out with my fiancée, we have a glass of wine, maybe a dinner, but that's— I have no interest. Yeah. Now, even planning the wedding, I'm thinking, I see the open bar, I'm like, there could be a few drinks now that night, but that's okay. But again, it's the awareness to accept things that are for you or not. So I'm not a huge Because for me, I got into running. I loved waking up. Like last, 1st January 2023, I was on Kite Beach in Dubai at half 7. I ran 20K. I was fucking, this is life. You know, I celebrate every day. I don't need to celebrate when they tell me to celebrate. And it's not, again, there's a time where that can be too much, but no, it's about awareness. Like I celebrate every day. Why not? Like I don't need to go on, there's people who want to get 4 weeks holidays a year. I want it every day. I want to go to the beach on a Tuesday. That's why today is a Friday in Marbella. I just had breakfast on the beach.

In Nobu as well. Good spot. It's all out of control.

So it's just where the quality is, right? But just going back to what you said about Atomic Habits, a lot of people give that credit to that book. But my favorite, one of my favorite books of all time is called Psycho-Cybernetics. It was written in 1960 by a guy called Dr. Maxwell Maltz. And he was a plastic surgeon. And what he is particularly truthful today. What he noticed was some people come in to fix a disfigurement or a scar or a burn or whatever. And some people would have after the surgery, way more confidence. But what he noticed over years as a plastic surgeon is most of the people who fixed or changed something, the confidence didn't change. So it wasn't the problem, the burn or the scar or the lips, whatever they want to do. It was the self-image. Yeah. So psycho— psycho was all about the theater of the mind, the self-image. Now, James, Atomic Habits gets all the credit today. Yeah. I mean, I read a few pages that I was like, okay, I've seen this before.

Yeah, it's pretty, pretty rudimentary.

But like anything, but like anything, but see, people aren't— psycho-cybernetics is your original read that book.

Yeah, I'd say even the language in the '60s is quite different. It's been tough to get through.

Because you realize nothing is new. There's been people talking about this for a long time. Yeah. And that's why people say— a lot of girls especially, you know, especially in the fitness world— doing a lot of changes, but they're not getting the confidence they want. Maybe it's temporary because it's deep down, this healing stuff we talked about. Yeah. They're carrying burdens. Like when you update your screensaver, right? After a while you don't even notice it. Yeah, because it becomes too familiar. Yeah, you see, you're the same with your burdens. Most people are walking around with a 10-kilo weight fest, 20-kilo weight fest, and they think this surgery or this food or this person is going to fix it. It's not. It's the inner stuff that's the problem. And that's why, you know, again, coming back to that, so popular, the identity is everything, dude. You can't change the behavior without first changing the identity. How do you see yourself? And again, clearing away the debris of the past is so important.

So asking yourself like the right questions and tackling it head-on.

The right question is always the answer. Answer.

Yeah, fuck, dropping bombs here today.

Yes, that's why I'm writing my book, because I said I stopped quoting other people years ago. I got my own bars for days, um, so it's a mixtape coming as well after the book. But nobody— that's where I love when you do the work yourself. I'm sure it's the same with you, that you start finding these words and ways of articulating that comes from your way. But that's why I believe anyone listening to this, everyone has their own If they're in fitness watching this, they don't need to be the next Rob Lipsett. They need to be the first them. Yes. You borrow pieces from people you admire. Like growing up, I listened to Jim Rohn. He was like my spirit animal, my mentor. And I had other mentors for sure, but I found my own lane. Like I have a mixed kind of a bit of spirituality stuff, business, personal stuff, but I found my lane. For years I was trying to fit into others. Like, am I a coach? Am I this? Am I that? It's how you make people feel, dude. That's what matters. Yeah. So don't— once you find your lane, you're full power. And then you're more— there's no competition then. I'm sure you probably felt that early on, you know, you're competing or you're trying to— now there's no competition, it's just creativity. It's just you. How can I just be the best me? What's going to make me feel alive?

That's when you're winning, dude. Yeah. And especially nowadays with social media, it's just, it's in your face, it's in your hand. It's like Neuralink, it's pretty much attached to you. So we're always comparing you. So how do you think someone should figure out what they want to do with their life? What would you say to someone someone who's feeling lost and directionless?

Yeah, same thing. Like, the clarity is the first step. Curiosity leads to clarity, dude. You just got to get curious. You got to ask more questions. You got to start— the more conclusions you make about yourself, the less alive you become. The key is to be more alive. Like, life is about experiences. Yeah. You know, you've had great experiences, you know, you're always with the lads, or the things you're doing, traveling around the world, when you're in the States or in wherever. That's an experience. Those are the things you probably cherish most, are the memories of the experiences. Yeah. Not necessarily the things. So what's going to give you the best experience? Well, you got to focus. Who am I? What do I want to do? And like Steve Harvey said it best, what do you do best with the least amount of effort? Like, for me, I knew from the cruise ships was speaking, connecting with people. That's what I was good at. So I've just found my way. But the first time I spoke on stage was my brother's wedding. I was best man at 19, and it was 330 people at the wedding. Can you imagine? Like, 330.

That's a big, big wedding.

And I was so nervous, I only had I had 2 dinners. That's how nervous I was because usually we have 3 at a tech dinner. So I remember about 250 people came up to me after that speech and said, "You should be on stage." And I was 19. I was like, "How? I can't sing. I'm not that funny. I'm not going to be a comedian." And I remember the next few years I was in health and fitness. I was finding my way and I found my way. And now I've spoken on stage all over the world. But I knew that was my strength. That's what I did best with the least amount of effort. That was my gift from God. I believe we all have gifts. Your mission is to find that. What do you do best with least amount of effort? Also, like, some things you think are obvious are mind-blowing to other people. Like, the things you do naturally that are simple to you— yeah, I'm mind-blowing to other people. Don't undervalue what you have, the pain you've overcome. Like, a lot of people— I always work with clients to turn their pain into power because your experience, your hurt, is going to help other people overcome. Like, there's hurdles you've jumped over other people can't get over. Yeah. And I believe our mission in this life is to make the world a better place. I know it sounds cheap.

No, no, that, that's—

but I literally like the service of others. When you're fully aligned, it's really about helping others. And it's really cool, dude, that when you're success— the more successful I become, it means the more people I helped. Yeah, it's the same for you. The more you impact other people, the more your success goes. That's the key. Like, success versus contribution, or success for significance. A mentor of mine used to say, success is when it's about me, me, me. Significance is about how can I make everything else better? Yeah, how can I help others win? So I guarantee you, for anyone listening, when they find their gift, their alignment, I guarantee you it involves people.

Yes, that, that's what I— so I was going to say, how do you measure success? How do you measure significance? And I'll bet that it's how good you make other people feel. 100%. That's everything.

And then you know yourself, when you, when you get a present, it's beautiful at Christmas or birthday, but when you give a gift and it's thoughtful and you see the reaction to it, nothing touches you more. Yeah, it's the best. Imagine that every day. And that's where I feel I'm so blessed, because no matter where I am, if I'm in Marbella, I have a call later today, my client, I'm excited. It. Yeah, if I'm tired, jet lag, whatever, I have a client, I'm on stage, you know, I work with a couple of companies. There's one company in Dubai, I do once a month, 9 hours that day speaking on stage, 9 hours to 300 people. And then I go home and I have my group coaching, so it's 10 hours that day, but I'm alive all day. I don't need anything. Like, I just go because I always say it's not what I do, it's who I am. Yeah, that's the biggest gift you can give yourself is find out who are you. Yeah, and do that.

And so on the public speaking thing, that's something that I've done a good bit in the past, like not to the extent of yourself, but what a rush it is. But how did you become a better public speaker? As that's some people's worst nightmare is speaking in front of a crowd.

Again, I'm very lucky, and I said this on a podcast recently as well. They asked me the same about how to become a speaker, and I was like, listen, I stood up, as I said, first time, I was good at it. When I worked on the cruise ships, I got results. Like, I just, that was my hobby. Home. But I've worked with a lot of people to become better speakers over the years, and one of the biggest things is to speak on what you know. Like, it's— a lot of people are getting jobs and they're trying to be a leader, and they're trying to talk about something, paper cups, and they're not an expert in that. It's just their job. Like, it's hard to stay aligned when you're talking about something you don't care about.

Every time I've done like a big talk or anything, it's obviously been about like fitness and entrepreneurship. I don't prepare I do not prepare for it because if I prepare for it, you're giving yourself a script to stick to and then if you fall off the script, you're like, "Fuck!" So I just go up there and 8-mile it, you know? Yeah. I love that.

I B-Rabbit that shit. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Here at the shelter doing a talk. But, you know, the beautiful thing is you've been preparing your whole life. You actually don't need to prepare for it. I say it's what you do, it's who you are, not what you do. Like, I remember doing a tour of America with this guy, We just go Boston, New York, Texas, Detroit, Miami. And I remember after the 5th city, I was so exhausted and I was like, I'm not gonna put up any slides tonight. And the guy's like, but there's 200 people out there. And I was like, I'm just gonna feel what they need. And I just went up and I did it almost 2 hours, 200 people, and I just fucking loved it. And I still do that to this day. Even at a company last month, I was doing the slides the night before and I said to my aunt, I don't wanna use these fucking slides. I know this shit. Sometimes the reason I put slides is for people visually because people learn visually. So I'll put up something so they can— when they're listening, they can see and write. Yeah. But for me, it's from here. It's like today, just come in, you just— that's the key. So if you want to be a better speaker, number one, get in alignment. Again, everything goes back to it, right?

Yeah, I love it. That's my new word.

But the second thing is just align— hashtag alignment. Yeah. The second thing though is visualization. It's the same thing with your vision. Like, people don't know how to visualize. You know, I've had some— I have mega clients. I work with investment banks, I work with companies I work with companies with thousands of employees around the world. A lot of these CEOs, executives, they don't have vision. They have ideas of what they think they want, but they don't have a vision. A vision should be clear, specific, and emotionally charged. We have to be. The more senses you engage, touch it, taste it, hear it, smell it, feel it, your body starts to believe it. And that's when you don't think of your future, you think from that. You get into that state every day. So if you want to create your life, you have to have a vision and visualize it. But if you want to be a better speaker, visualize everything before. Even I used to do this years ago before my sales meetings, and that's why I never slept for years. I'm thinking, what's he say? What'll I say? What'll he say?

What'll I say? I've got insomnia as well.

I'm perfecting that, you know? And then after the day is finished, I replay it again and I change it. What I should have said, what I wanted them to say. So that's another thing for sales. You have to imagine the right version of it. But if you're going to go on stage, I do that too before talks if it's a big one, like a couple hundred people there, a couple of thousand people. I'll imagine first so I feel the sensation in my imagination before I do it physically. So you won't get the full extent of the emotion, but you'll start to get if you engage your senses. So if you were to talk tomorrow on stage, I'd be saying to you, just play that feeling deeply in your imagination.

Man, so that's what I do. I'm big on visualization. And what I do is I act like it's already happened. And like, I've got like mad OCD, intrusive thoughts, in a good way. So I'll like, I'll replay a scenario honestly 5,000— let's say it's a 3-second scenario that I wanted to happen. I'll replay that in my head 5,000 times for a week until it just seems like it's already happened. Then it does happen every time.

But it's already— I said to my fiancée on the first date, we're walking from the character restaurant, and she was like nervous. I said, it's already done. Done. Yeah, I said everything's already done. She's like, what? I always— everything's already done. Everything you want is in your heart, it's already yours. It actually is. Everything that's in your heart, as you feel it, it's already yours. Otherwise it wouldn't be there. The, the problem is people are thinking from here up, shallow, superficial. I want, I want— that's fucking bullshit. I want that. When you go from here, you can have everything. Yeah. So the key is to get here. And that's why with everything I say, it's already done. Like, you want to be the best and you know you're in alignment, you're in sales, it's already done. Everything's already done. You just have to learn how to receive it. You have to learn to move everything that's in the way of it. That's the challenge. Like, you don't have to get more. That's what the awakening I had 2 years ago— for years I'm teaching people to get more, be more, add. No, no, no. We have to let go. We have to reveal who we are. We have to remember who we are, and then we receive. We don't have to add more shit on. Discipline, habits, fucking think positive— it's all bullshit. We have to let go of all the shit that's not us, and we're left with who we are. And boom, and then life will give us everything.

I'm sensing an ayahuasca trip. So, so talk to me about that. That's something that me and, me and Dorian Yates, we went in on as well. I've, I've never done it myself. I, I had like, when I was in Tulum, I had the— there was no signs to do it everywhere, but I felt like that's something— it's too commercial, it's not the right time. Apparently It has to find you.

Took the words out of my mouth. Yeah, so talk to me about your ayahuasca trip.

Where were you and how did it come into play? And then of course, what was it like? Sure.

I always say that, like, I never recommend it to anyone. It finds— ayahuasca will find you. Yeah. So I have— I did a YouTube video on my first 8 ceremonies. 8? My God. That was the first 8. I've done many more since, actually. I've over-doubled it since. And I don't talk about the number because it's not impressive, but that's how much of shit I had to go through to find out. But no, I went, I did the ayahuasca because number one, like, I, again, I've been a seeker my whole life. Like, I've been seeking even since I was younger. I didn't— talking about Ireland— didn't fit in as much. Always wanted to travel, wanted freedom, was a dreamer, you know. I just always seeking. And I believe seek and you shall find, knock and it shall be opened. We're here, right? You have to seek. A lot of people have stopped going back— curiosity, being curious. Is a lot of people stop seeking. You have to keep seeking. So I've been seeking for years. When you're on this entrepreneurial journey, man, it's tough, it's challenging, it's lonely. People don't realize being an entrepreneur is lonely as fuck. Oh man. And it's a thin line. Someone said a beautiful report, it's a thin line between freedom and loneliness. And I bet you've been there because I've been there constantly, you know. And there was a couple of years ago, I was just tired of my own shit, you know. I was just, I'm fucking tired of myself. And because I'm a coach and a seeker and I've read all the books and I've done all the events I realized I have to walk the path back to myself. I always say the most courageous thing you can do is walking the path back to yourself. It's the bravest thing you can do. And ayahuasca has a way of truly going in without— 'Cause my mind, when you're an entrepreneur, you have to think of everything. And since I'm young, my mind is strong. Like when you have a strong mind, how do you switch that off? So for ayahuasca, what it does is it helps you switch off the mind. It helps get the mind out of the way. And that allows you full access. Fuckin' hell. Access all areas. So it really allows you to go very deep. Very deep into the, into the subconscious. It shows you a lot of truths, but it shows you a lot of stuff that maybe you don't want to see. That, and how it can manifest can be quite scary for sure. So I've been to hell. Yeah, I've died. I always say I died and was reborn, bro. Wait, where were you? So I actually did it in Mallorca. What? Yeah, maybe there's one here in Marbella.

Yeah, apparently there is.

There is everywhere. But I found good people, like the shaman there is from Bolivia, and, um, they have a great team. And I, I just felt very connected and very home. And even how I ended up there was crazy. I was the boat from Ibiza back to Mallorca, and there's a girl in front of me and she was on the phone, turned around looking at me the whole time. It was very strange. And I said, I feel like I know this girl somewhere. Yeah, I want to know her. And we ended up sitting next to each other and just talking about everything. And then we connected. And then about a month later, she just sent me a PDF of ayahuasca out of nowhere.

And I was like, bro, she was not real. She was— she was— she just imagined—

she disintegrated. Evaporated, as you said. So either way, it was like meant to be. I took— I was like, okay. And then I went to that ceremony, and again, the first two nights, nothing, because my mind was trying to control, protect. Again, your mind's— your mind's in the way. Your mind's a gift. Don't condemn your mind, but we have to learn how to observe it, being the observer. Oftentimes people are trying to slow down. You can't slow down your thoughts. It's like going to the water and trying to stop the waves. Yes, you can stop the waves, but you don't have to stop the waves because you're the ocean. Yeah, that's the fucking mic drop. You're the ocean. You don't need to stop the waves. We all judge the thoughts We judge the waves, but we're the ocean. We have to learn how to observe them. So when you do that, like ayahuasca allows you— the first few nights was resistance, dude. Like, yeah, nothing. I was like, this I can't, because I knew I was holding on too tight.

Yeah. Whereabouts in Majorca was it? Like north? I can't even remember. Yeah, it was in like a villa. I'm trying to set— it's in the middle of nowhere.

It's in the middle of nowhere.

Okay, outside. Outside, yeah.

And inside. We do it inside and outside. I've done a few outside and a few inside. But dude, yeah, on the third night then I had the most incredible— this was the first retreat. I've done many since obviously, but that I was, I saw everything. I went back thousands of years. I saw, I saw, I left my body, dude. And so I was looking down on my body and crazy stuff. I saw my Pookie. I always had this thing of Jasmine from Aladdin and Pocahontas. That was my woman, you know, Jazahontas I call her. And you saw my fiancée and I was, she's Jazahontas.

I saw you said that on your story. So now it makes sense.

Makes sense. But I saw in that vision, I saw her there. I saw the vibe, the spirit. It wasn't just a look, it was the energy and the spirit and everything. So I saw all that in the vision as well. So I knew it was— I knew it was mine. Yeah. Um, and I saw— and I obviously didn't meet her then. I met her years later. But, um, and then I went back and back, and again, some really deep work worked for a while. And then think about ayahuasca, it just shows— like coaching, it shows you the path. You have to walk the path. A lot of people think, I'll just take ayahuasca and I'm healed. No, no, no, no. Yeah, ayahuasca shows you what you have do, but then you got to go and fucking do it. Yeah, it's like you can go to you for guidance on nutrition and training, but unless you go and lift, bro, you're not getting the results. Exactly. So ayahuasca is really like Rob Lipsett, just shows you the way, you gotta fucking do everything yourself. So yeah, I just went, and then a year and a half ago I just had— I did a few months in a row back to back to back, and I just went deep. And I had— on the first of those rounds, I just had that awakening of back to me. I was searching for everything outside of myself, and I realized I just gotta get back to me. And I just saw all the identity, the nice stuff. It's all like, it makes you purge, like vomit.

Yeah, yeah. Do you eat beforehand?

No, no, only in the day, in the morning. Yeah, but all the ego fears, I saw everything. I was like, I just let it go. I just have to get this back to me. Was just born, dude. And this last year, everything just opened up in front of me. Wow. Um, and I went back again, and on the last one, it was like a death. Like, I just— last, I couldn't walk like a baby. Like for 2 months after, I was— everything was brand new. And I was just learning that we need nothing. And I remember it was crazy because I wanted, like, my fiancée and I wanted that love and that life, right? But I remember after I experienced that in it, I was like, you don't need— we don't need anyone. Yeah. But life is better shared. Life is way better. We're meant to share life, but we don't need. And I saw there's no need in the world. And I saw there's no good or bad. It's just control. Everything is as it is. So ayahuasca for me opened the door. I feel like I connected with God. I had moments of kind of enlightenment, and I left my— I call it no mind. I had no mind. I was— I literally left my mind. Yeah. And I was just spirit, man.

I'm afraid to do it. I like— I think I would go insane. Let me tell you, 100% fear.

And the more you do it, even the shaman on the last one is like, who hears for the first time? People put their hand up like, you're scared. Yeah. The people who've been here, the other people, they're more scared than you, because when you've been, it's more— because you know some of the stuff. Yeah. And it can turn like this. Like, I mean, I remember that first one, I was having a time, like 4 hours of just the most— imagine the best night you've ever had in your life. Yeah. And multiply it by 100 gazillion million trillion ways you can't even describe. Good. It's a good way.

The best ever. But I've heard some people like hate it.

But no, but this is— that's what's possible. Imagine that bliss, nirvana, on a level you can't even express. No words can give it to you, right? But then boom, within a second it can change. Yeah, yeah. And that's the thing about it, is she gives you what you need. She'll show you what you need. So So even when I did it the last few times, I had the most fear I ever had. Even if I went to do it now, I have fear. Like that's the thing. But it's the overcoming of the fear is what helps you find your strength, you see. 'Cause courage isn't the absence of fear, it's overcoming it. And I can promise you, everyone's scared. Even the shamans are scared when they do it. Genuinely, they are, because you don't know what you're gonna be shown. You're gonna be shown things you don't, you know. So again, I don't recommend it. Some people go and don't feel anything. Some people go and have terrible, and I remember the first bad one I had, I was like, there's no bad one. It's giving you an opportunity to trust yourself. Yeah, it shows you how to breathe, to be the observer. And my mind was going crazy. I just fear, fear, fear. And as soon as I breathe and just dissolve into me, boom, it was love, peace, bliss. Then the mind comes in and it's like, fuck, ah, and you're reaching, trying to grab it. You're like, no, I can't grab anything, I'm losing it. And then you go, okay, let me just fuck it, I can't I can't get it.

Do you like see the room you're in or the surroundings?

So yeah, you can open your eyes and you're aware. Yeah, but it showed me very clearly that the mind is like— when I was— my mind, when I was aware, my arse was sore from sitting on the ground, my back was hurting, I could hear everyone. When I kind of dissolved back in, I was out of it, I was out of my body, and then it was pure bliss. And I saw that there is no time and there is no— and every person— for me, I don't care, I'm saying everything. Yeah, people are going to see it, I'm going to tell the truth, right? I believe everything in your life you chose before you were born. Every bad relationship you chose to get you to where you are today. Every interaction you chose. I believe I had it on the last night. It had worn off, like I was in bed. I was awake all night. I imagined every interaction in my life. I went back through my whole life. I could remember primary school, who I was sitting next to, everything. Man, that's crazy. I was thanking everyone for everything they did to get me to that point.

So that goes to show like how much everything is embedded in your mind, whether you can realize it or not. Like, every experience. But that's crazy.

Yeah, I was awake the whole night till 10 AM, dude. I saw my whole life. I kept going back and back and back and back, and I was like, is this forever? I asked the shaman, is this— they're like, it's okay, just— that was the mind again going, you know. But when I was in the eye and I just dissolved— that's why I call it back to me— and I went back into myself, I was out, and I just had bliss, nirvana. That's great. Just the best feeling you've ever had in your Are you gonna do it again? And that was the thing. So then I had fears. I was like, oh, am I gonna get addicted to this? Do I need this? And she showed me like, you don't need— you have it already, bro. Ayahuasca just showed me you have it. We have it. That's what my Back to Me mission is. Yeah, we have it. We don't need to go get it. Ayahuasca just shows you it's that we have it already. We are it.

Isn't that insane? That's, that's absolutely wild.

So that proves that everything we think we need is illusion.

My biggest takeaway from that is the fact of what you just said there, that you remembered virtually everything. I'm what is just in our brains that you kind of need to pull out. And so are you going to do it again?

I don't feel the need to do it because— and the reason even with the book why it's not released, I've been holding on to it for a while, is because I want to release it when I'm living it fully. And I'm living most of it, but it showed me what I have to do to live fully back to me. Um, and we don't need— that's the thing, like, again, it's very simple. We breathe. We don't breathe, actually. We think we breathe, but we don't breathe. We're not properly breathing every day, most people. We don't stretch and move our bodies enough to get to— again, our bodies are an antenna, so we have to move, stretch, breathe. Eating healthy, it's not just the food we consume, it's the energy. When I was in ayahuasca, I couldn't even make a joke because sometimes it's some hilarious shit going on, like, I'm gonna ask you, having a time of your life? And I said something funny, motherfucker, and I couldn't say motherfucker. I couldn't call myself anything. And it was showing me, like, don't ever speak about yourself in a way that doesn't serve you, in a low vibration. And I was trying to say, you're a funny motherfucker, And I wouldn't— I remember the feeling, and I've done it since. And I remember saying to myself, I'll never talk bad about myself again. Yeah, the thing about ayahuasca is it makes everything very visceral. It shows you what's right and what's wrong, what's good and what's bad, like in a scary way and in the best way. It makes it very clear. But in our human mind, we don't— we're so casual. I'm full of shit, or I'm fucking idiot, or I'm whatever. We make— we talk about ourselves in such a low vibration that affects us.

Oh man, so that, that's some, some So quick one, do you, how do you deal with negative self-talk? Do you even do it anymore?

I have so much, it's unbelievable. Like that's the thing I say, that's why I think my clients respect me a lot is I share my journey. And I think that's what makes me a good coach is I've walked this path. Like no other coach can tell you some of the stuff 'cause they haven't walked the path back to themselves. They've just basically done textbook, like they've studied a textbook or they're fucking reading, they're reading what they've studied or whatever, doing courses or YouTube, but you have to walk, the best people walk the path. Path. If you didn't go through the shit you've been through, you couldn't help as many people as you do with your fitness or empower people. Oh man. You have to walk the path. So for me, I walked, I've walked the path deep. What was your question again? I lost my kind of track.

Did you ever deal with negative self-talk?

Oh yeah. So my point is still, if you have to take this journey, like I said at the beginning, there's no arriving until you die, I believe. Before you're born, and then when you die, you go back to that spirit. There's no arriving, dude. Life is happening all the time. And I always say life happens when you're alive. But I have those battles as much as anyone still, but now I have the awareness to get out of it sooner. Yes. Me too. I zoom out, I'd be the observer. I catch myself more. I notice— I talk about, um, freedom through non-reaction, or resilience through non— when you're reactive, it owns you. Yeah, yeah. If someone posts and it triggers you, it owns you. And I still like— I'm sure like the women in our life, they can fucking poke us sometimes, right? Oh man, of course. Like, that's a good— again, that's— I think we— God gives us these people. And again, I didn't— like, we grew up in Ireland, right? So I didn't— I wasn't comfortable with the word God God my whole life. I didn't like it because I didn't like religion or stuff like that, or I was uncomfortable with Jesus. Yeah, but through ayahuasca, I found God. Yeah. And for me, God is the Creator, and God is within. I always love— was interested in the metaphysical side of it. Like, I think God made us, we are connected, that's our truth. And everything around us— nature, mountains, ocean— we are part of everything. Yeah. Are you religious? No, it's like saying I've found God through ayahuasca, but not in the religious sense. Like, which—

like, do you identify as a certain religion, or— Definitely not.

I just have you know, I just have a connection. I just— I have a relationship with God now through what I found with ayahuasca. I've had for years— I always believe God is within us. Yeah. And I'm on that journey discovering more and more. Um, so I don't— I think religion is limiting, and I think it's man-made. I have nothing against any religion, of course. I support it. And I think the ultimate part of all of it is, is, is trust and love, or truth and love. Um, but I think we have— God gave us everything and put people in our lives to help us grow. Like, again, I think we chose everything. Everything. Our partners, everything we chose. And I think even with our perfect partner, they make us different enough to help us grow. The growth never stops, dude.

Yeah, that's such a good point as well, because before I met Linda, I was— well, I still am definitely more uptight and organized, and she's like a free soul, you know. She's very relaxed and fun-loving, which is kind of masculine-feminine, but she definitely made me relax a little bit more, you know.

Yeah, but that's the thing that always— there's never— and I thought that too, like, people think they were like, I'm just going to be cool now. No, like, shit's coming, life is coming. But the more you get back to you, the less you're influenced by the world, the less you have pull left and right, the less distraction. So again, it's all about getting back, get you. But I do believe we all have God-given gifts. I do believe we are made— we've forgotten who we are. We have more God in us than we realize. We've forgotten that, and we consumed with this human greed and stuff, but it's all illusion. Yeah, what we have— that's why I realized monks can live in the mountains, because they've just found that— what I experienced, what I had, like, I found those moments of, whoa, you need nothing, bro. Yeah, nothing gives you what you have. And that's why the meditation— I don't even call it meditation. I talk to my clients about silence. Just get into silence, just breathe, and 99% of all your problems would be solved if you started to love yourself. Yeah, if you— so true. The reason people don't love themselves, because they don't know themselves. Yeah, they don't know themselves. And you don't know yourself, you don't trust yourself. You don't trust yourself, you can't love yourself. And that's why you think you need— everyone's obsessed with everything outside of themselves. Yeah, bring it back to you.

Does that make sense? Absolutely. And so what I, I think this is, is where kind of self-love leads to. And now I avoided asking this because it's the ultimate question, it's the most basic question you probably we get asked is how to gain confidence from somebody who is not loving themselves and, you know, who's feeling a bit lost. I think this is like your expertise because I noticed the first thing you said was everything comes from confidence. Yeah. And yeah, I was tempted to go in on them, but I said no, I want to go, go, go into everything first. So it's the big question: how do you get someone to gain confidence from within?

Clarity leads to confidence. The reason people aren't confident now is because they've bought into a lot of stories is that just because you've walked a path for a long time doesn't mean it's the right path for you. And people who lack confidence are on the wrong path. They're looking at it, they're believing who they think they are. They're believing who they've told they should be or who they are. So what we'll do first to become more confident is really to question everything, to get clarity. Curiosity, it sounds so simple, but curiosity leads to clarity, clarity leads to confidence. People lose confidence because they don't have clarity. They don't know who they are. They don't know what they want. They don't know where they're going. Do they want other people in their lives? Should they be with those people? Are they living in the right country or in the city? Are they in the right job? Confidence comes from knowing who the fuck you are. Yeah. That's it. And real confidence is silent. It's inner. You don't have to convince anybody. You don't need to force anything. You just know who you are. Yeah. So that's where people should start. Get clarity. And that's the beautiful thing about coaching, dude, is it helps you find that. You know, every professional at a high level has a coach. Every single high-level entrepreneur high-level CEO, high-level athlete, high-level musician, they all have coaches and mentors. Yeah, but fucking John and Paul and Rosa and Sarah, they don't need anybody. Yeah, I'll fucking figure my own shit out, you know what I mean? And that's not the judgment, but come on guys, wake up. Yeah, you know, like at the end of the day, you can keep going the long way, or you can get someone who knows where to look and get you there first, faster. I just had a clip went up on my social the other day about people are so quick to invest in a mortgage for a house for a couple hours a week week, a couple hours a night. Yeah, they invest a fortune in a car for a couple hours a day or less. Yeah, right. They invest in clothes and watch, a phone, but no one invests for every waking moment of their lives is in their head and in their body. And they don't invest in a coach or a course or an event. Yeah, like $5,000 on a course or an event is crazy. Yeah, yeah. But fucking $600,000 of a mortgage, congratulations.

I, I, so I ran—

there's anything wrong with a mortgage, but if you're willing— what good is being in a house if you're fucking— you don't like this house?

Exactly, the, the main house. I, uh, so I put on a big entrepreneurial event in Marbella in June, and so, you know, there was a few levels of tickets, but like the big, you know, the VVIP ticket, it was like over 1,000. I think it was like 1,500. Someone came to me and they were were apprehensive to buy it, and I was like, you're gonna get— make that back in one sale. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All you gotta do— you're literally surrounded by like 100 other dudes who are all killing it, telling you how to, you know, make money online, do all this. Your— the ROI is you come from that weekend, you make one sale. Everyone, everyone, be it— they were a lot of people in fitness, a lot of people were in e-com, you know, closers, everything. Everyone made their return on investment like a few days, even from just like, hey, I, I know someone who's looking for a fitness coach, I'll Pair you guys up. So easy. Yeah, so people think, oh God, it's a big investment. You'll earn it back in a day.

And easy. And for me, like, when I work with a client, not only your relationships would improve— like, how about a happier relationship for the rest of your life? How about better communication, trust, and love in your relationship forever? What's that worth? Yeah, the fuck is that worth? Every day forever. Being better at your job, getting or changing job, getting a promotion, making more money— what's that worth over 10, 20, 30 years? Like, I I'm— I would say I'm overpaid, but I'm vastly underpaid. Like, I charge a lot— not a lot, people say the odd time. Most of my people, they listen to my podcast, they follow me on Instagram, they know what they're getting. And so by the time they come, they're ready. Yeah. But at the odd time, someone said, oh, your prices aren't cheap. I said, my knowledge isn't common. Yeah. So that's why, if you want— if you want the knowledge that's common, you can pay. Like, those who pay, pay attention, you know. If you want results, I'm only here for people who are serious. So again, you want that other stuff, go get it, but you're going to go the long way, you know. But people have to Here's another thing Jim Rohn said: formal education makes you a living, self-education makes you a fortune. Like, I love that when I was leaving school and starting out, but I realized in my last 10, 12, 15 years, self-exploration is what sets you free. So formal education— school, college— makes you a living. Self-education can make you a fortune. Like, didn't even make me a living. But self-exploration is where you find freedom. Yeah. And that's a fucking bar and a half. And that's, for me, the biggest thing. You have to be willing to explore who you are. Now you find out the real goals. You hear me?

Dropping some bombs here. And so what's a day in the life look like for yourself? Like, what time do you wake up? I want to know. What time do you wake up at? You know, how do you wind down the evenings?

Tell me, tell me. Yeah, so normally I'm up 6:30 to 7:00 at the moment. I get those moments or seasons where I want to do— I often work with clients in seasons, like a 90-day season. Yeah. Season of me, hashtag season of me, where you commit. Because it's very hard to say I'm going to do it for the year.

Yeah, I think life comes and goes in waves, kind of like the actual, like, winter, summer, you know, there's energy in that. That's what I think.

So like, look at balance over 3 to 5 years. Don't look at balance over a fucking month. Like, if your relationship needs attention, go all in on that. Your health and fitness needs it, go into that.

Your money needs it, go all in. Yeah, if you try to do everything, you spread yourself too thinly and you actually get nothing done.

Absolutely. Like, I— when I do the high performance coaching, we talk about an unsociable level of activity for a period of time.

Oh yeah, monk mode, man, is the best.

So yeah, so I get up around 6:30, 7:00, and some days I like to go— when I was running a lot, go run first thing. Okay, now fasted?

Always. Yeah, me too, man. I, I did a HIIT session yesterday, and for whatever reason, I woke up, was kind of hungry, and had like a shake. So, you know, just milk and whey, and I just did so shit. I was like, got a stitch and everything. People think— huge myth in fitness is people think you need to fuel up before working out. Also, people think you do that for lifting weights. It's like, you're, you're literally moving a bar a couple of inches. Like, you're not even doing cardio. Yeah, I've trained way better fast. I love—

even when I was training for the marathon, my running coach in Dubai was like, this guy's running half marathons fast, no food, no water. Yes. I was like, well, I run on the beach and it's 25 degrees, right? And I do a half marathon with no fucking water, no food. I'm going to be an animal when I have food. Yeah, that's my mindset. I mean, there you go. I want to bring— I want to bring my base level animal up as high as possible so But when I do have, fucking turbocharged, you know what I'm saying? And I love, I want all to stack against myself. So that's how my mind kind of works. I love to go make it harder for myself so I can fucking do better. But yeah, so do that. Now I'm trying to, I write in the morning. So I have two books now. I haven't finished the first one, it's almost finished. And then I have a second book called The High Performance Handbook. And it's high performance through high awareness. So it's all for entrepreneurs and executives, business owners, anyone who wants to perform at a high level. But through high awareness.

Awareness. Yes, yeah, that's another one. That's another word of the day that I'm sticking down, dude.

Freedom awaits, bro. I'm telling you, on another level. So yeah, and then it's just working with clients. So I like to do my clients usually in the afternoon, early morning, um, and then the afternoon then I'm with the missus doing something, you know, with fiancée. We're in Dubai or we're traveling doing something, but I like my evenings free. I don't like— I have a couple of clients because I'm in Dubai, I have clients in Hawaii, I clients in the States and Canada. So sometimes I have a couple of evening sessions, but I like my work with my clients early in the day and I like it done. And in the evening, chilling, go out, do something, either gym or go for, I haven't because of the injury in a while, but generally that's what I like to lift in the evening. I don't know why. I like it.

I'm like, if I don't go to gym by 3 o'clock, I ain't doing it. Oh really? Very rarely I'll do an evening workout and I'll actually always enjoy it. Enjoy it when I do, but I always like the first, the first thing I try to get it done as early as possible.

But like even 3, 4, 5, that area, I don't like it. Years ago we used to do it in the evening, playing ball, and it was too late. Yeah, wound up in the evening and it's just relaxing, unwinding with yourself. Um, in Dubai it's just the lifestyle is so good at night. We're going out for a walk, going for something, doing something outside. Like even last night having dinner, a nice beautiful dinner right outside the Burj Fountains there. T-shirt, 8 o'clock at night, you know, it's ideal. Next morning then I, like, for me, freedom is always the— I often talk about when you're younger, you want time and financial freedom, but as you get that, you want mental and emotional freedom. So true. And I call ultimate freedom in the book, it's time and financial, um, it's mental and emotional, and then it's physical and spiritual. You have to have something to believe in. Like, I think going back to, do you believe in something? When you try to figure everything out yourself, it's exhausting, dude. Yeah, you have to hand it over. There is, there is a guidance. Like, you trust your, your hormones today, you trust your glands to secrete right now, you trust your heart beat, your lungs to work. Everything you trust is unknown to you. You have no idea, but you trust it. You have to trust in something bigger guiding you as well. And when you do that, it takes the pressure off. Stop trying to figure everything out. Control— like, control is the most addictive drug in the world, and we have to let go and surrender. So finding something to believe in— and that's why I listen to a lot of books and stuff in the evening. I like to feed the mind before bed, so I always feed the mind before bed. I think, like, because you have, you have theta waves, slower brain waves, in the morning and the evening. Very important first thing in the morning, your visualization, what you're focused on, and same before bed. So I'll often be thinking about, I love before bed thinking about the next stage of the vision.

Yes. And yeah, what I love to do is, so I am big proponent, 4 hours deep work in the morning trumps any 9 to 5, anytime. So I wake up by 7 as well, sometimes earlier, and you know, I'll get on the laptop or, you know, prepare for whatever I'm doing that day. Those 4, first 4 hours in the day, then I'll go work out. Fasted, caffeinated, I'm fucking limitless. I'm getting— I'm an hour ahead here, everyone. I'm getting all the replies done, all the emails on. I, I, you know, the way— was Tim Ferriss's The 4-Hour Workweek? I don't believe— okay, that's a little bit too easy. I have the 4-hour day, you know.

I'm with you, bro.

I do the first 4 hours. Exactly, first 4 hours, then I'll go work out, and then, well, I guess after the gym I'll record everything. And so that's, if you can call that work. Then I'll do another 4-hour work block, maybe like 2 to 6, of just like kind of easy stuff, like just errands, getting everything done. And then after 6, I try just disconnect. Do you have anything that you do to disconnect in the evening?

I don't know, you can't beat watching a good movie with your fiancée, your partner. Again, yeah, bro, you gotta be grinding. You can't be watching Netflix. I tell people, like, when they're especially young lads, you have no time to watch the match. Like, this fella's still obsessed with the fucking match. Yeah, these 22 millionaires run around, they don't give a shit about you. Like, how much money you make?

Simping, simping over dudes.

Yeah, but like, get your shit together, then you can sit back and enjoy whatever, you know. Like, depends what season of your life you're in. But like, yeah, just with, just with my fiancée enjoying life, just talking, you know, hanging out, doing whatever. Like, I don't think of anything. I don't have a structure. I'm very— yeah, for me it's about freedom, it's flowy. Yeah, it's loose and flowy, whatever comes up up like. Nice. You know, that time I say I have clients in the evening, yeah, this is just chilling, dude. Talking, visualizing, planning, like always thinking of things we can do now with the wedding. Like we're here planning the wedding for, for the future. Yeah, we've got that locked in. That's exciting.

And so on that note, actually, right, so here planning wedding, you mentioned your fiancée. How do you find a high-quality woman and a long-term relationship? As that's something that that a lot of guys— it's like one of the biggest parts of life is who you do life with, you know, your relationship. Like, I, I kind of break down life into— I think Tony Robbins has like, you know, 6 books on each topic. He has like relationships, finances, your health, your spirituality, your mindset. You know, relationship is one of the biggest— it's one of those cornerstones. So how does a guy find a good LTR, long-term relationship? Red pill, red pill language there.

Well, like, one of my episodes of the podcast, dating and relationship episodes, it went berserk.

Like, I think I saw that in a clip or something.

One of the clips went berserk about like, from dating apps, you know, fellas, take her for a coffee first. Don't get locked in for 2-hour dinner. Yeah, it's the same for her as well.

Like, yeah, oh man, I think I saw the clip and it was right. It was fucking right. Sometimes the Explorer just shows us to the wrong crowd, dude.

Some of the way— I mean it was mental. Like, it was hilarious, some of the stuff. Like, he's too cheap for dinner. Ah, man. And then my fiancée was laughing in Santorini, getting engaged. Like, they only— but I couldn't handle it, man, because I— that shit annoys me, the stupidity. Like, I don't mind if someone misunderstands the context, but when people are just fucking ignorant or don't listen, drives me crazy. So with the negativity stuff, to answer your question earlier, I tend to not go there. Yeah. But I'm nowhere near— I'm not that big also, which is great. Yeah. And but what I'm talking about, I feel like when I talk about what we talk about today, it's not that offense. Like, 10, I don't get much yet. Now, so many clips do, like that dating one. Yeah, but I was like, listen, I want to see what she looks like in the day, what her personality is like. Is she good fun over a coffee? Because everyone's fun over a few drinks. Like, yeah, exactly. So I want to know what they're like, if there's a connection or buzz. Then I said from dating apps, because yeah, if you've been on the scene, you know, fucking mental, wild place. Yeah, yeah.

I, I thankfully did not meet Linda via dating app.

Neither. I didn't meet mine either, and I knew I wouldn't.

But so nothing wrong if you do, but I just think there's some— well, I'd say there's something artificial. It's completely artificial, you know. It's not how we did it in the old days. So obviously if you meet someone via dating app and it's great, cool, but always real life.

Real life. How is that controversial? But the values are so important. So like the guy said, is find— meet someone early without— and and then the whole lot. So it's a whole evening. Don't lose that. I've lost evenings before, fucking eejits, like for 2, 3 hours. I'm like, I'll never do that again. Yeah. Especially if you're on a date, Naps, and you're trying to really find the right person. You want to know if their values align and stuff like that.

It actually takes a day out of your life, not 2, 3 hours, because, you know, you're getting ready for it, you're talking to them and everything.

It's like a day. So you want to see— for me, it's all about the connection, the chemistry and everything, you know. So, um, for me it was cool because my fiancée came to one of my events. I did— I was doing a female empowerment event and she attended the event, which was kind of cool.

Oh nice.

So that was interesting. And I always— someone had said to me like, one of your— one day your dream girl's gonna walk into your event. I was like, I think she has actually. And she, she had, funnily. I always tell her it's the best investment she ever made. Yeah, she paid for me, you know. Um, but I was going to say, so how to find— number one, you have to know what you want. Again, you have to know what the fuck you want. Like, what kind of woman do you want? What kind of man do you want? Whatever, if it's a man or woman listening to this, you have to get clear on what the values are. Like, yes, the look is important, yes, the attraction is important, yeah, but their values— for me, 3 things in a relationship is truth, respect, and love.

Nice. True respect and love.

Because people— I used to always think years and years ago that love was the foundation, but you can't have love without truth. Yeah. So truth is the foundation. And it's not a problem with apps, people are playing games and fucking— I always— I said to girls, these are like David Blaine, like illusionists.

You don't know what getting. The AI face app and everything, it's—

I've never seen anything like it. So for me, very important, get clear on who you want, what kind of values you want, and then get to truth. Don't play games. And it's challenging. Like, I lived in Miami, I lived in Dubai. The girls play games as much as the fellas do because everyone's in this fucking cycle.

Oh man, those two places that you just named, Dubai and Miami— so I actually love— I was going to Dubai next month, I was just in Miami, and I'll be going there with my girlfriend. Okay. I love them, but if If you're dating in them, bro, brass city. It's fucking— it's mental. Every— everyone in the club is like an escort in some way. It's absolutely a minefield for dudes in those two places particularly.

But even the normal girls per se, like, everyone's out to get something, and then it's all about games. And so for me, truth— lead with truth. Trust— trust that the right person's there. If you— again, knowing who you are. A lot of fellas end up with the wrong people because they want them for the wrong reasons. So get, get clear on who you want, number one, first, and then lead from the front. You've got to be a leader. Real man is a leader. He knows who he is and what he wants. He puts that out up front, and a woman will respect the hell out of that. Like, what makes a man more of a man is doing what he says he's going to do, keeping his word, and having his word be truthful. That's real manly shit. Yeah, like when you're younger, it's all about other bullshit, but that's real man shit. Yeah, so truth, respect, and, and then love. Like, that's the foundation for me of a relationship. Relationship and being willing to put each other first and communicate openly is key. So how to find a long-term partner— like, I did a— I was a guest on another podcast about 2 years ago, a matchmaking one, and the amount of women who book calls was phenomenal. And still to this day, clients— yeah, 75% of my clients are female. Wait, what? Yeah, 75% of my clients are female. Yeah, because women are smarter than fellas. They want help faster and they are better at asking for it. That's wild.

I would have bet the other way around. My, I would, 90% of my fitness clients are men, obviously, because women don't want massive biceps and, you know, work on their chest. Yeah, yeah, everything I have, they don't want to look like a Greek Irish god.

I get it, um, it's true. But women tend to be better asking for help and knowing, okay, let's get it, let's, I want the solution quicker. Fellas have the ego to deal with more. And, and so I have a lot of fellas who are clients and And funnily enough, again, and I have all backgrounds and all ages, but again, it's hype. The fellas are people doing shit. The fellas who aren't doing shit, they don't get coaching or mentoring. Like, all my male clients are fucking serious guys, like, yeah, serious players, like, doing serious stuff in the world. They're ambitious, they're, they've either families or they're athletes or Ironmen or they're business owners or, you know, they're serious people. So, um, anyway, what I was going to say was that podcast, a lot of women came and said, I want to find my perfect person, you know, because I was talking about dating and relationships. And I said, listen, I can't coach you to find the perfect person, but I can coach you how to be the best you, and that person will attract the right person.

Oh man. So, so what I say to dudes, right, I was in like a 6-year relationship before this one, so long term. And then so when I ended that relationship, or we ended, whatever, um, I was single and I didn't know how to be single. And I tried to go out and like chase girls and was repulsive, putting them all off because you're desperate. And then I said, okay, I'm gonna just stop this now. I'm gonna work on becoming the ultimate version of myself, superhero mode. I am going to curate this, the ultimate lifestyle that a partner will want to be a part of. And once you create that ultimate lifestyle, like you just picture your dream lifestyle, you, you get as close as you can to that, or you get that, the right partner is, is going to come into that.

And even if you don't arrive at your perfect lifestyle yet, but just in when you're in pursuit of your best you, that's attractive. Yeah, yeah, there you go. You know that's attractive. Yeah, that's some real shit. Like, you don't have this hero mode— that's an illusion, it's bullshit. People see through that, and a lot of guys suffer because of that. Like, you don't have to have that hero mode, you just have to be your own hero first, and then you find a woman who says you're my hero. Yeah, you have to be your own fucking hero first. So you can get clear on who you are, first step. Find curiosity, clarity, confidence, boom. And then you got to put yourself in situations where you're going to find your woman. Like, I wanted— people often said to me for the last few years, how are you going to find the one the way you think? Like, how are you going to find to find a woman who matches the way you think and with your experience. I don't need a woman to think like me, but I want a woman who's at least curious, who's at least seeking to better herself, a woman who's already reading books and interested and who's in pursuit of her best self. And again, she came to this event that I did, so she was clearly a woman looking to be better and looking to improve herself. That's all you need is someone who's willing, who's an intention— what's your intention? And as long as you're moving in the same direction You don't have to be on the same lane, but moving towards the same— you want the same things.

Exactly. You want also a girl who will push you to be your best version of yourself. Funny one, right? So as we're talking about, you know, attractiveness and when a man is on his mission, it's attractive. So during lockdown in London, right, I had a lazy couple of months. I was like, I can't go to gym. I'm there, first time in my life I've ever got a game. A games console. I think it was an Xbox or a PlayStation. I can't even remember. It was PlayStation. And I got playing Call of Duty, and Linda— I was there sitting there, and Linda was like, "What the fuck are you doing? I've never seen you ever play a games console." I threw that shit out. I was like, "I don't even enjoy this." I'm like, "I'm vegetating here." I fucking threw it out. Like, I— So it's so funny when your partner sees you lazing around doing fucking nothing. That's so unattractive. And we joke about it now. Was like, I apologize for you seeing me being a lazy gamer in my pajamas. That ain't me. It was a short period, but it's just so funny.

But a good woman will fucking speak that truth.

Yeah, yeah. What are you doing, Rob?

This isn't you. Yeah, it's not the one that's best. And same for my woman. She encouraged, go, go. They want you to fuck. And what's attractive to women is a man doing shit.

Oh man, you know what I mean?

A man's soul is not attractive. That's what a woman wants. Like, a man who knows who he is, keeps his word, word and does what the fuck he says he'll do, but doing something. Yeah, being in motion again.

Even like, so let's say you're watching this now and you just start out your journey, you're not fucking millionaire, you're not balling out, women will still find you attractive if they see ambition. So because they will see a future, they'll be like, this guy, this guy's gonna kill it, this dude's gonna take over the world. He may not be there yet, but he's gonna take over the world, so I want to jump on this, you know. So that, that's the way you track. And so What do you think of the red pill community that's currently like pretty viral? Like it's kind of all over like Twitter and everything, you know. What do you think about it? I, I think it's the 80 to 90% of the message is right, but then you just get some weird incels kind of putting a bad twist on it.

Like again, again, there's a limit— there's a, there's a line, I should say, but there's a line to again truth and illusion. Like once you're in truth, it's fine, you know. Like a man should take care of himself, a man should get his shit together. Whether I don't pay too much attention to it, to be honest. Like, when you're not in the world, I don't have a reason to be in the world. Like, I'm not too up to date on what other people are doing because, again, I have no interest, you know. I, I don't really know much about the news or, or what's happening. But I've, you know, I've come across stuff like that, and guys often ask me about it. But all I say is, get your shit together, find your lane, be the best you can be, and you'll attract. But one thing I will say— excuse me— is communication, influence, dude. The key to freedom is your ability to communicate and to influence. That's the secret sauce to life. You gotta be able to speak. And for me, that's what's blessed me my whole life, is my ability to speak. No matter where— to this day, determines the table I get at the restaurant, determines maybe I get an upgrade on a flight, helps me when I go to a bar. Wherever I'm going, my ability to communicate makes my life better. Yeah, whenever I'm buying something, doing something, my ability to communicate enhances my quality of life. It enhanced my ability to talk to women. When I was, you know, younger, when I was single. It enhanced my ability to do business, enhance my business to make more money. To be able to speak, dude, is— and your presentation is part of your presentation. So get your shit together, get in decent shape, learn how to dress, hygiene. Like, fellas, there's nothing wrong with getting, you know, getting all manicure, pedicure.

Oh man, I'm getting one this weekend. I get a pedi. I'm yet to get on the manicures, but I get a pedi. These feet have seen some shit.

But in Dubai, like, in the barber shop, you know, they'll dare to give you manicure, pedicure while your haircuts.

Yeah, yeah, that's great. What the fuck, why wouldn't you?

I don't want to be sitting there, you know what I mean? Of course, get taken care of. And a woman's like, man, this guy takes care of it. They like that as well. But I first discovered that on the cruise ships, you know, because in 2009 on the ships, the fitness was part of the spa. Oh yeah. And the day after, girls had to practice, so they asked us to come in. So I fucking got all these treatments. I was like, this is fucking unbelievable. Because before that, I was like, fuck your treatments, Dude, I was getting facials, all that shit every week. And I have a client now who's a— who has a— who I helped to go from working in a salon to having her own amazing beauty salon. And every time I'm home, she's like, come in for a treatment. I'm like, hell yeah, come in for a treatment.

Yeah, yeah.

But the fuck, wouldn't I get a facial?

I'm like, Game Plan exclusive, right? Whenever Linda's getting her brows done, I get them done too. Yeah, if you listen this far, you'll find out my secret to these brows. But so we're coming to the end of the year. What is your game plan? On for 2024?

Yeah, as a high performer, you always want to be looking 12 to 18 months in advance. So if you don't have your 2024 already planned out, it's just a bit fucking late. Yeah, like, you should be thinking back in March about next year. So you should be looking at 2025 already. What's that look like? So when you create a vision, you always want to be looking 2 to 3 years out, and then you plan 18 months out. For me, again, thing about January is don't be starting in January, you should be continuing in January. So the last 6, 8 weeks of the year, 10 weeks of the year, is a great season to fucking go all in. Again, I love seasons, right? Season of me, season of no. We— I did with my clients a few weeks ago is, what can I say no to for the next 6, 8 weeks?

Oh man, that's the one.

And when you do that, you have momentum going into January then, you know. And every time is a season. Like when I teach my sales guys, when they're making sales calls, October, September, November, are we getting business done this side of the year? Do you want to get it done this side of the year? Always putting an end line on it. When it comes to your fitness, when it comes to your personal projects, okay, 6 weeks, 8 weeks, 10 weeks. Deadlines are key, accountability is key, otherwise it doesn't get done. So that's a major mark. Now there's still time. It's, you know, what do you do for the next 4 weeks?

What's the strategy? Yeah, personally I think November is a great time to train your ass off to create leeway for December because there's a lot of shit on December. You have Christmas parties, all that bullshit that I don't partake in. But November is nothing on, it's a great time, it's a calm before the storm.

—And for most people it's dark, it's cold, fucking get into— Yeah. —get into the training zone, you know? But again, just feeding your mind all the time, protecting your mind. What's your plan for the year? Like what, for me last year, this time last year I did the Goggins Challenge. I was like, okay, I had just done a half marathon. And I was like, I'm gonna run my first half marathon, marathon, and ultra in 12 months, all 3. And so I'd signed up for 2 ultras last year as well, but because of the back injury, I didn't do it. But I'm gonna do it in Andalusia next July on my birthday. Oh, no way.

Yeah, on 30th. An Ironman or a marathon?

Marathon? No, it's an ultra marathon. Ultra—

excuse me, 234 kilometers.

No, that's fucked up. Yeah, fucking why not, bro? On my birthday every year, I suffer intentionally to remind myself I'm alive. Yeah, something for your listeners. For years I do with my friend, my brother, every year on your birthday, do a fucking physical challenge just to remind yourself you're alive. What a better way to celebrate your birthday. And even on my stag now, talking to my brother today, we're gonna do a physical challenge as well, because that physical challenge is phenomenal. That gives you a thirst and a hunger, and you have— it's a— you can reward yourself then. But don't reward yourself for doing nothing. Yeah. So that's the plan for getting— working on getting the back healthy now, run the ultramarathon. It's just one for me, like, it's beautiful. 35 degrees, 6,000 meters of elevation, 234 kilometers. Just intentional suffering. Sounds like a walk in the park, literally. But sometimes I learned that with the marathon, you have to do something before you can believe you can do it. I didn't think I could do the 48 Miles Goggins Challenge, like 4 miles every 4 hours for 48 hours, until I did it. Yeah. I never thought I could run 4. That's why I signed up 3 days before, because if I waited 3 weeks before, if I did it 3 weeks before, I think I can't do it. I thought too much. Same with the marathon. I signed up 8 weeks before because if it was too long, I would have thought too much. Sometimes you got to do it so you can know you can do it. Yeah. Does that make sense? A lot of people wait till they think they can do it before they do it.

Yeah, I've definitely— I've been a victim of doing that as well. Like, you know, just lack of belief, and then you do it, and then it's, it's done. You create these like barriers in your head that don't exist.

Exactly. So I call it between being a realist or being a visionary. A realist will set small goals and always achieve them, and then they'll tell people after they've achieved it. A visionary will set unrealistic goals, they'll never hit them, they'll fall short, but they're still up here. So be a vision— being a visionary is an Elon Musk. Being a visionary is best shape your life. Being a visionary is financial freedom. Being a visionary is a healthy, loving a relationship. Being a visionary is fucking just being in your lane, being in alignment, being aware, bringing value to the world. Like, that's being a visionary. So for me, the ultramarathon— and again, coming back to what you talked earlier about habits and goals and stuff— I don't believe in goals either. Goals are only pixels in the screen of your vision. Your vision is the key. Goals help you maintain the standards for your vision. So for example, my vision of me is I'm someone who's fit, healthy, strong, okay? Okay, that's my vision. The running the marathon, the ultra, is a goal that maintains the vision. It's not just about the goal, do you get me? Yeah. So the goal is just a pixel making the screen, the movie of my vision clearer. So set goals and targets, but let them feed the vision. So the ultra marathon is just part of that. It's just part of my vision, you know, and who knows after that, but just step by step, like.

Bombs, bro. So tell the people where they can find you. —on Instagram, @aidanobrienofficial.

So it's A-I-D-A-N O'Brien official. And then my website is theaidanobrien.com, T-H-E, because there's another Aidan O'Brien in Ireland, and people say, are you related to that Aidan O'Brien?

Oh, damn. I hope he doesn't do anything to get canceled.

That Aidan O'Brien, I always say, no, he's related to— no relation to me, actually. But theaidanobrien.com is the website. But Instagram, I love to hear people if they like what they hear.

Absolutely. And guys, there's going to be a special link if you're watching on YouTube or on Spotify. There's going to be a link to work with Aidan. Aidan as well.

Absolutely. So what I say to everyone is like, and we'll do something special for them, for your listeners, right? Um, but it— the call is free. Now don't fucking waste my time, just come on just for a chat, okay? If you're not serious, don't waste your time or my time. But if you are serious, I, I always speak with everybody and we'll find out if it's a good fit for them. We both decide if it's a good fit. So yeah, we'll do— to put a link below, they can, they can book a call there. But again, only if you're serious, guys, because 'cause you have to have a chat with yourself first. You know? You either draw the line in the sand and make a decision. I always say people come to me out of inspiration or desperation. Inspiration is when things are good and they wanna be better. I have a lot of clients like that. Like, things are good, but I know I'm capable of more. They're hungry. Desperation is, "Fuck, I can't take this shit anymore. I gotta do something different." Most of them in the middle, a lot of people don't come unless they're very aware. You don't have to wait for inspiration. You can come now. But if you're at inspiration or desperation, there's a real fuel inside you. There's a fire, it's alive. We can really use that to transmute and to create what you're looking for and to discover who you really are. So yeah, I would love to hear from anyone who's serious.

Awesome stuff. Look, I learned a lot today. I'm feeling pumped up and just want to say thank you so much for coming.

And in Dubai, you're gonna— well, that will do it back. You're gonna be on mine in Dubai. We're gonna, we're gonna ask you the questions and get you on the Back to Me podcast. Perfect.

I'll be there probably. I'm yet to book a flight. I would say like January 10th for at least 3 weeks. So yeah, it's my birthday on January 17th.

Okay, beautiful. We'll catch up. Well, thanks for having me. It's a pleasure. The Irish connection, it's been long overdue. We had a chat a couple of years ago. We said we'll do something. Again, timing always happens when it's meant to. So that's another thing, right? Surrender, trust, everything happens when it's meant to. So thanks for having me in your home. And it's a great chat in the podcast. Appreciate it.

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