Episode 12 : Safa Hussain's Feminist Rebellion on Breaking the Patriarchal Mold

Foreign. Hi, everyone. Welcome to another episode of Matriarchal Voices by the Matriarchy Times. Today we are actually going to have a discussion about book by. By Safa Hussein. It's called Disobedient Under Patriarchy. And she's here with us today to discuss her inspiration and her reasons for writing it and everything about the book, basically, and share some thoughts, we can ask her some questions and everything will be cool. So. Hi, Safa, how are you doing?

Hi, I'm doing great. How are you doing?

I'm good. I'm better after reading your book, actually.

Happy to hear that.

So how has it been going so far? How, how have people's reactions been after reading it?

Okay, so the reactions have been different for both men and women, right? Women, they were like, they were totally shocked. First of, they were like, it altered my brain chemistry. Like, to quote one of my followers, it altered my brain chemistry and women actually really liked it. I had one of my female followers, she would read a few pages and then she would send me messages like, oh my God, like, is this serious? Is this real? And, you know, it's like, it's like, to conclude it, it's basically women telling me that their minds were blown and they never thought this way, they never looked at the world this way. And when it comes to men, just today, one of my male followers, he was like, this is the first time I have seen any woman understand how deeply, you know, the things that I've written about men, how deeply she understands men. And it actually terrified him. And another one of my male followers, friends, whatever he was like that I was able to explain him why himself. Like, I explained him his functioning, how he works, how he thinks. So he felt at peace and he also felt calmer. So, yeah, so the result, the feedback has been good.

Yeah, even I have really good feedback to give you, actually, because after reading this, like, everything changed. I don't know how to explain it more than that, but like, the way that I look at things now, when I hear news, the way I interpret it itself has been influenced by what you said in this case. So I hope that a lot more people read it, especially after listening to this episode today, because I think it's really worth it. And I have been recommending it to people, people too. So.

To hear that.

So what made you think of actually coming out with this masterpiece of a book, writing this everything about men in a really tiny but impactful and powerful book? Like, how did you do it and how did you start and what's the Story behind it.

Okay, so me, I love to do things like, I love just constantly being busy. But I never thought of writing a book after I became an online feminist before. I've always wanted to be a writer for some reason. And on the 21st of January this year, I was like, hold on, I can write a book. I can do that. Like, there's nothing stopping me. I just have. I know enough so I can write a book. So I started typing on my. On, you know, my laptop. I started typing and I just started writing the things that I knew. And it's like it was divinely channeled or something. I was just typing it, typing it, typing it. And. And throughout February, I typed through till March. On the first week of March, my book was complete. And I also wanted to publish my book before my birthday, which is on March 20th. So I was typing, I was typing, I was typing. And then suddenly I was like, I have nothing more to say. Was like, time to publish, right? Yeah. And also I didn't, I didn't write it just because, like, you know, I just wanted to yap or something. It's like I wanted to put my perspective, what I know about women and men out there because I saw so much confusion, like women trying to fix men by their words. But you can fix men, but you cannot fix them with your words because men and women are not same. We are not same. I constantly saw women treating men as if they are women, but, like, we are totally different. So it would kind of irritate me. So it's also like a therapy for me that I just wrote all of my anger out, maybe. But yeah, I wanted to put it all out, like everything I know, just have it.

We can definitely feel anger in the pages. But also, like, you make so much sense and I love the way you've written it to a point where, like, we don't have to struggle to understand what you're trying to say. It's there, clear in black and white, exactly what you want to say, exactly what you mean. So I think that's what helped it to kind of impact more people than a book that took too long would have. Because I'm. I have a feeling like if you took more than a month or more than two, three weeks, what you took to write this, it would have probably been rethinking it, having second guessing what you have said. I am glad that you rushed it. Yeah.

Also, if you look at one of the sentences in my book, it says that I understand the male psychology deeply and so do other Women, but they bury those observations down. And I'm just tickling that part. That's why women love it. Because women already know these things. They already know it, but they were like, no, it's, it's so discriminatory. It's bigoted or something like that. So I'm like tickling that part.

Like, no, it's okay.

Like, you are right. You are right. I'm like giving them that mental relief. That's why they love it and that's why men hate it.

Another interesting thing that I want to ask you is actually, like, I have read articles, books and watched videos maybe about things like this. Why has nobody said these things before? Like, how did you. Like, if it's a result of you studying something or reading something or learning about something, like, there's nothing similar to this right now. Like, how did you get this point across this particular point?

Because I feel like it's not common knowledge. These things. Like, you know, they are not taught in schools. Actually. That's what I feel. My sister, even when I talked about the male and female brain with her, she has done her masters in, you know, some science thing. So she was like, yeah, we studied it in college and there and there. But it's like, it should be more common knowledge. And in fact we should use this knowledge for our daily stuff. The thing is that we live in a patriarchal society, right? So people, since we are male centric, the people who run the society are also male centric. In fact, even me and you to a certain extent can be male centric. We don't have time to care about others, but we are more selfish because patriarchal societies make us selfish. So it also, I think stems from not just caring, that, yeah, whatever. Not, not really caring or just being selfish, selfish.

I also feel to some extent that some people can be afraid to kind of take action the way that you have recommended because.

Yeah, fear, of course, yeah, maybe that can be possible. But I don't see, I don't see any reason to be fearful if, like, it is backed by science. Because, you know, like these men, they love to say, facts don't care about your feelings. So, yeah, facts don't care about your feelings. That's why I wrote a bunch of facts in this book.

Yeah, the thing is, like, we women, to some extent, I found myself like about 10% of the time while reading, like I was feeling kind of, you know, okay, this is possible, we can hurt them. But then do we really want to go to that extent? Like, sometimes the things you Said in the book, like, invoked, angered me and thought, okay, I should, like, go around teaching everyone. But I'm, like, not explicitly saying what you wrote because I don't want to give any spoil. I think that.

I think you should talk about it. I think we should, because I'm kind of. I want to know what you're talking about.

Yeah. Okay. So now we know that we can inflict pain on men. Right. The way you have explained in graphic detail. But as women who have been, you know, brought up and who are naturally caring and nurturing, like, would we actually do it? That is my point.

Yes, you would. Because you care. And you. You care for animals, you care for children, you care for women, don't you? So why is this scared sympathy being directed towards the gender that produces the most baby touchers? Why is it being said? Why is it being targeted? Why is it being given to the problem itself? Like, that's the question we need to center. We need to direct our love at the right places, which is like the actual victims of these men, of these people. So I don't see any reason. In fact, if I'm proving to you biologically that there is no way in hell, like, if I'm proving to you biologically like that's how they are and that's natural to them, then you should be more determined to actually do the things that I talked about.

Yeah.

Because in order to create a safe society, as a woman, you are a natural born leader and you have to take these steps. You have to get rid of the hesitation and you have to direct your love at the right places.

Yeah. I feel like at many points during reading this that I did feel the way you are saying. I think it's also like my last remaining conditioning left that's kind of, you know, trying to fight that. To my new mindset.

Maybe it's not your love for men. Maybe, maybe it might be your subconscious fear of them, that if you don't love them, he might hurt you, but he actually is way more afraid of you than you might realize.

So let's see. You have decided to give us in your chapters, the understanding of the current patriarchal system and why man wants to be superior. The beta male complex Testicular terrorism. My favorite chapter. Age of Pisces and the Pygmy.

Yeah.

So understanding the patriarchal system was. Yeah, okay, I ready. And it was very clear. And it was. Gave people a better idea about what's actually happening in the society right now. Because I know that some people will not blame everything on Patriarchy. For example, before I joined matriarchy times, I didn't even, I wouldn't say I didn't know the word, but I didn't know what it meant like to be sexy. So I think having a book like this to read and letting people understand things earlier than when they're pushing. Okay. For example, I got into this matriarchy times and I got into this situation. So that's how I learned about the theory behind these words and the definitions behind these words and stuff. Okay, so what if somebody never gets pushed into a situation where they have to understand what's happening? Then they'll never know. So a book like this, which is easy to read, anyone can get it. And I think it's going to help to spread awareness and knowledge which is ultimately the only way that we can kind of build up community or what. Yeah, yeah.

I feel like also this book is really fun as well. You don't get bored?

Yeah, it is. I couldn't put it down. Like I was being asked to read another book for an assignment and I like kept that completely on the side until I finished this one.

It's just so interesting. Even I read it like thousand times now. Like I've read it multiple times now because it's just so interesting. And also it's very rewarding to see your thoughts being, you know, in a, in a physical form. It's also very satisfying. That's why I just cannot stop reading it and I cannot stop talking about it.

It's kind of like all of us got a free copy of your diary.

Yeah, exactly, exactly, exactly. It's like Safa Hussain in a book. It's Safa Hussain in a book.

So I actually, while reading it, while everything was pretty clear and everything was like really well explained, I feel like the last chapter could do with a bit more explanation because if someone is a picky woman, I don't think she'll be able to identify whether she is one or not by reading this chapter. So how do you self identify as a Pikmi woman?

Okay, so first off, I don't think any pick me woman, like actual pick me women would want to read such a book. So I actually wrote this book from a point of view of me. Actually it's a gift from me to my childhood self because I had all these observations around me. I saw these things but it didn't make sense. I wish someone told me these things when I was a kid because I was very frustrated as a kid. I'll be honest, a lot of guys Try to use this word as an insult, like, oh, you're a frustrated feminist.

Yeah.

Yes, I am a frustrated feminist. So what? You guys are raving monitor lizards. Why would I be frustrated? So as like the frustration I felt as a child. I wish someone told me these things. Right? So this book is for those kind of women who are frustrated in their lives from the patriarchy. So I don't think any pick me would want to read it. And secondly, when it comes to the last chapter, I actually did rush it. I did rush it because I wanted to publish my book before I turned 23. So. So I could say that, oh, I published my first book at 22. Like, how cool that sounds, right? So I did rush it, unfortunately, even though I had time. But I was like, no, quick, quick, quick. But luckily I'm writing another book which is like female centric, which is like towards women, talking about women, how to empower women. And I will cover the pick me chapter in much more detail and how to self identify as a pick me. I'll be honest, if you are an average woman is misogynistic. She because she was subjected to the same patriarchal brainwashing that we all have been subjected to. And even me, to a certain extent, no matter how radical I say I am, I am still a result of my subconscious programming. Sometimes I might do something patriarchal because I'm brainwashed and it's in my subconscious. So just consciously saying that I'm not a pick me, I'm a feminist is not enough. So I'll say to a certain extent, we all have pick me tendencies and it's okay because we all are bikin.