You Can’t Win The Game If You’re Not Willing To Lose | Cigars and Coffee w_ TheDM! EP.025

Happy Wednesday. It's your boy, Mark Evans Diem here, coming to you live from Parkland, Florida. What's up, guys and gals? Thinking about you guys. Got a lot of things to share with you today. I got a solid 30 minutes with you, then I gotta bounce off and have a call with my cfo. That's always fun with one of my companies. There's some big things over there. Speaking of that, we have a lot of cool things going on as you guys are joining us in our companies. All of our companies are hitting records in a good way. We're growing, we're expanding, we're pushing, we're prodding. During the coronavirus, we came out with a new book. It hit number one bestseller. We've sold many, many, many, many, many copies. Thanks to you guys, we're gonna make a massive impact in a lot of people's lives that will never meet because 100% of those profits go to charity. Good morning, John. Good morning, Dan. What's up, my man? What's up, Darius? What's up, Mike? Thank you guys for being here. But as I'm sitting here thinking about you guys, you won't win the game if you're not willing to lose. And I'm not sure. So I was talking with one of my guys today about this because it's something that I think about often. I know a lot of people say they're in it to win it, but their actions, the results, are lackluster at best. They're not winning. They're actually losing all around their lives, and they think they're winning. That's what scares me even more. They think they're winning. They're not. You can barely pay their bills. They don't have good relationships. They're not keeping the commitments to themselves on a consistent basis. They're constantly balancing around. Dan said this is a great topic because I feel like I'm doing nothing but defending myself this week with everyone defending against potential clients, family, etc. Stuck between holding my own and what's right, but want to get away from the problem clients. Yeah, man, I get that. Good morning, Rob. What's up, guys? Yeah, Dan, if you want to hop on, I'd love to talk about that and see what's going on. But as I'm sitting here, man, I'm in it to win it. I am. I'm cool to go back to lose it all. You know when I say lose it all. And that's us time with my buddy today about. I was like, when you lose it All. What does that mean? I'm in it to win it, dude. I'm willing to step on the field to be embarrassed by all I'm will because you're gonna pay to watch me. You know what I mean? I'm willing to jump in the ring to have my teeth kicked in, to be tapped out, to not get knocked out, but yet you're going to pay to watch me. And I'm going to show up and do it again. You know what I mean? So, Dan, what's up, Dylan? What's up, Brad? Dan Beacon will get that over to you. The link. I've been a loser many times in my life. I'd rather fell forward. Absolutely, Brandon. But I can tell you this. I'm willing to lose. That's why I keep winning. And I have losses. But losses aren't losses. They're learning. They're learning moments. Ooh, don't do that again. Ooh, don't walk into that right hook. Ouch. Watch that kick. Ouch. Watch that punch. Like, you know, I'm. I'm learning, but I'm gonna keep learning. I'm gonna keep going. The only time I stop is when I'm dead. And that's it. That's it. But again, see, that's the difference. A lot of people say it. A lot of people say that, pay attention to the ones that are succeeding because they're actually not just saying it and believing it, they're actually living it. And I'd see, I think a lot of people see the roles behind me. Cool watches, cool houses fly in private and all this stuff. You guys gotta understand, it took me 12 years, 12 real years in business to get my first roles, 12 to get a Rolls. Knowing what I know now, I could do it very, very, very, very, very quickly. But that's me. What's that have to do with you? And I think so many people are watching others and like, oh, I could be Tom Brady on the field. Well, get your ass on the field and start playing. You're not even the water boy, and you're acting like you can be on the field. You can't even get a pass to get in the. You can't even afford. You won't even invest in yourself to pay for a ticket to get in the stadium, let alone get your ass on the field. You know I'm right. That's why you're not succeeding. That's why you're not accomplishing much of anything. What's up, Chris? What's up, guys? What's up, Brandon Insanity doing same thing. Expect. Yep, that's right. So most people aren't willing to lose and that's why they're not winning. What does losing mean to you? That's probably the real problem. Tomorrow's show is going to be very big about this. But what does losing mean to you? What does it mean you lose money? Well, I've lost money before.

Shit.

Today I'm losing. I'll tell you exactly what I'm losing today on a deal pulling up the HUD right now. I just saw it. Roseanne, she's my deal coordinator. She's way more than that, but she's an amazing person. Let me pull this up here. I'm telling you what I'm stepped on the field to win. Lynn Wood $64,930.45. That's what I'm losing down a deal. And this deal is interesting because it wasn't even my deal is the deal I introduced the buddy to. He invested in the deal. He put 140 into it. The guy that did the deal bailed from the deal. I stepped in and said, yo, I intro you guys. I'll step in and take over the debt to make sure you get paid back. Because this guy was only willing to sell it for 100 and take a 40k haircut. And I didn't think that was acceptable because I made the intro. So not only did I step on the field to lose, I already knew I was going to lose. Now the question is, what am I losing? Losing money or relationship? The relationship's so much more important and valuable than money. So I stepped in, facilitated the deal, sold it for 100. There was 40k negative debt, plus there was interest owed and other fees. Comes out to $64,930.45. So that's my day to day. I'm negative 65 GS before I even get up. What are you gonna do? I ain't quitting. What's up? Dan Z's in the house. I see.

Yeah. Yep. What's up, my brother? How you doing?

Great, buddy. How are you?

Good, good. Thanks so much for doing this and having me on.

Yeah, man. So what's the deal? What's going on?

You know, everything I do in my business, I take it. I seem to take a personal right. I go above and beyond. I do way more. Even mentors time. I do way more, spend more time with people trying to help them out. And it seems like every time I do that, it's not. It's Starting to bite me in the ass more than it's not these days.

Yep.

And it's. It's getting to question, like, what I really want to do, but I feel like I'm defending my character with people when I'm providing a service way better than most people in the industry. You know, a lot of, you know, similar to what you would do in the past. Turnkey rentals. You know, we have contracts. You know, people decide at the last minute, they don't. Maybe they don't want to close, they want to get out of the contract. And it's just like, you know, I'm the big. It seems like I'm defending myself all of a sudden, where I've been on such a great path. So it's to the point where it's, you know, do I. Do I let contracts go and just give people their deposits back and just move on and not work with them anymore, or do I hold true? Because at a certain point, you know, it's a character thing. At a certain point, you just get walked all over. So it's. I feel like lately over the last week or two, I've been doing great, but over the last week or two, I feel like I can defend myself to everybody, you know, even families. Like, well, why deal? I'm giving this money back, and it just. It just doesn't. If you do that, you just have no business. I feel like, yeah, at a certain point, you got to decide, you know, you know, I'm holding it to my.

End of the deal.

Why aren't other people, you know, And I think maybe it's. Maybe it's me expecting them to do. To be business the way I do business. I don't know what it is, but it's just been a bad few days.

Yeah, man, I get it, man. I think it's expectations, empathy, you know, what are they dealing with? We don't know. Unfortunately. Not everyone's like us, Dan, where your word's your word. You know, you and I, we don't need contracts to do a deal. We do a deal, we make money, and everyone gets paid back. That's how it works. You say you're doing it, you do it. I think the biggest problem, what I've seen over the years is right now with what's going on, is people are looking for an excuse to get out, not get in. Insane. You know, I talked about yesterday, the power of commitment. If you make commitments and you're not sticking to them, they're opening up a floodgates of karma so it's kind of scary to me on what's going to happen to them. No, I think it's one of these things that we got to pick our battles and take stock of who's who and what's what. What do we want to do? You know, I'm out of the turnkey business. I hate everything about it.

I understand why. I'm almost there, brother. I'm almost there.

Yeah. So, I mean, it's a tough gig. You can't win. We got it. We assume everyone's an investor, like you and I, Dan. We assume everyone makes a decision. When your management company calls and says, hey, we have a furnace out. Do you want to fix it, replace it? It's like, get it done, whatever we need to do. And they're like, well, let me call my purse. Let me call Dan. Dan sold me the house 13 years ago. He's going to take care of it. So it's very interesting to me. And the truth is, I guess it's what makes the world go around. What I'm doing right now is paying very close attention to what people are doing or not doing, especially in commitments. Very big thing right now.

Oh, yeah. This is where character. This is where I say character comes through on everybody, you know, and I understand that. You know, sometimes people just can't make things happen. Stuff happens. They lose their job, they're in a bad situation. But, you know, communication for me is everything.

And, you know, and even in the.

Beginning of this, we got on the phone and communicated with all our lenders. We communicate with all our tenants. We communicate with our self finance borrowers. And they've all been great. You know, we treat them like one is. You got to be empathetic. You got to treat them like family. We do. We treat everyone like family. That's why it hurts so bad when I have to defend myself to anybody. Because I take pride in what I do. I truly care about every person I deal. And maybe, maybe to a fault too much.

No, it is. I do the same thing, man. I get it. I totally understand.

Like, this. You're 100% like this.

It makes you. It makes you build it tighter, though. I think this is what people don't understand about success. The higher you get up in success, the more aware we are of what our feelings are and what we are and what we stand for. So we actually have to put layers, people in front of to protect that, because it makes. It really is for me. I'm not you guys. Dana, like, it cripples me For a day. Like, it really upsets me. Like, if something big happens with someone I care about, I'm laying in bed for a day, sad, depressed. But what it does, it pisses me off to make it tighter, makes me better, and, you know, so it's not always easy, for sure.

No, that's. That's where I'm at right now. That's where I'm at right now. And I'm starting to get to the point where I never disliked what I was doing, never disliked the people I've done it with. And I'm getting to that point right now. So I got to make some. I got to make some changes. So that's where. That's where I'm at. It's just really, over the last two weeks, I'm starting to notice them. I'm just not enjoying what. I mean, I love certain parts of my business.

Yeah.

But I'm starting to truly dislike this part of my business. And this part of my business is helping the most people because I'm helping them create wealth for themselves, But I'm truly not enjoying it, and that's not good for us, you know? So I appreciate this. This is definitely a perfect topic you're talking about. You're the expert at this, and I enjoy everything you're putting out, man. It doesn't go undefeated, believe me.

Something. Something interesting you said, though, is helping them create wealth for themselves. You and I know that, and we believe it. That's why we do what we do. But I bet you you're creating a lot of stress for them, too. You're creating a we, because if we don't qualify, if they're not qualified, up to the mental fortitude you and I have, it doesn't serve them. It actually could hurt them. It could cripple them. I've seen it happen, man. That's what I'm saying. Like, it's amazing to me, like, what someone thinks is a problem. You and I are like, it's not a problem at all. Like, what are you talking about? And, like, literally, they'll. They'll, like, loosen for 30 days that, you know, now we're the devil and mean people. And it's like, what do you think this is? You didn't make a decision. That's the problem. Not me.

Exactly. So I think. I think. And you said it yourself, you're out of the turnkey. And I remember you getting out of it recently. And I remember that, you know, you did it great, and you still had issues, and I kind of like I feel like we were the same way. I was never, never nearly doing as.

Many deals a month as you.

But I knew sort of the issues you had coming and I just didn't have those as much maybe I figured because I was doing you know, five to 10 deals a month and you're doing 30 to 100 deals a month, you know, so there was a difference and I always chalked it up to that. But I see where you went and I've been working on myself and just finding out what I truly, what's my vision, what am I truly passionate about, what you know and helping people that don't have the same mindset is never gonna, you know, it's trying to help somebody doesn't want to help themselves.

And dude you can. And it's frustrating for guys like us because we generally know what they don't see in themselves. So that's what stinks. You want to grab them and shake them, but it's like a kid, right? Like they're everyone's on their own back. We can only lead them to the water. We can't drink it. One thing too, man. You know guys, by the way, this is a great talk Dan and appreciate you even being vulnerable about this. Some people see us as vulnerability. I see it as opportunity. You know what I mean? Because this is opportunity to make your life better. This is all about you clients. You know, you're going to have clients tomorrow. The question is what do they look like? You know, it's going to be a different type of client because you're a doer, you're going to make it happen and what's really cool, it's kind of what we know isn't going to get us to where we want to go. And you're in that moment where I know I was in there about two years ago with that turnkey side. I'm like, dude, this one, there's only so much opportunity. Two, profits are being squeezed out, there's so many people in it. And three, I can't sell the business. It's a non sellable asset. So I'm going to spend all this money, all this hardache, all this time to build something and I could only maybe sell for 1x maybe and I don't think I could do that actually. I know I can't do that. Like I'd have to go with the company which would never happen, right? So I started asking myself is like what do I want to be in five years? What is, what do I want my team to look like? Five years from now, who are my clients? I want to serve. I just, I mean, we're still serving clients just in a different manner, you know, same thing. You'll do.

Yeah, that's, that's the search I'm going to be on. That's, that's, you know, it's, it's exciting, but it sucks at the same time.

It does, man, but this is, this is a growth. You're growing, you know.

Right, right.

The clients are sitting at home saying, oh man, Dan's such a great guy, you know, I want to send him more money. They're like, damn, what the hell? He made 18 grand on this deal with me. They're trying to figure out how to get out of the deal, not win the game.

Right, right. And that's what I'm saying. And it's because the clientele we're dealing with. So I got to, I gotta stop focusing on different clientele, different, different strategy. There's some parts of my business I love. I mean, I love mentoring the right people. I love doing mindset, I love speaking events. I love doing deals at a larger level with bigger players. The people understand the game. Institutional companies. And that's really where I just gotta, just make the shift. I gotta finish off what I'm. And I know what I got. I know at that point I have to finish up what I'm doing. I don't have much left. I love building passive income. So those I put into solid financing are phenomenal for me because that's truly passive. I don't have to worry about anything, but I need to get to that, what's next? And that's where the uneasiness for me is. But it's exciting.

Yeah. Kind of like, well, I'm around, man, I'd love to talk to you, but also like your clients. I realized I didn't want to sell. And again, it sounds judgmental and it kind of is, but I didn't want to serve Walmart clients. I wanted to serve Nordstrom clients. There's a different animal, different expectations, different services. You know, I, you know, you guys have ever been to Walmart, you're not gonna see the way they dress like that in Nordstrom. They're not even letting you in the door. Maybe it's what, maybe it's whatever nicer stories over there, I don't know. But in my brain, man, I want to work with the top notch people that appreciate themselves, respect themselves and do big stuff in life. My job's all about impact. And I know yours is too. Dan, I think I told you back in the day, I used to coach people in the beginning level. It was the most draining, frustrating thing in my life. Like, I cared so much. I was never talking about real estate. I was talking about all their bullshit excuses they're making why they can't do anything. And I'm like, I don't have time for that. I don't make excuses, I don't have time for this. But I cared about these people. So I like, stuck in the game for a long time. People would be spending 10, 25 grand with me not doing anything. And I'm like, I don't want your money. I want to help you. The money's just a piece of it. I truly want to see you get results. And like, literally as you know, success rate on that side is 5, 10% at best, you know, at best. And that's if you actually really pushing them and prodding them and all that. So I woke up one day, man, I said, honestly, I was like, my job, my ultimate goal in my life is to make an impact. And I can make an impact and, you know, get a thousand people and I only have 100 people succeed maybe, and that's like at the best. And be miserable through the whole process. Or I can go to high end guys like the guys in the DM family. I have 33 guys, man. We employ hundreds, if not thousands of people. We make impacts. Everyone's doing something big in their life, they're making an impact on other people's. Like to me, I want my waterfall effect to be bigger than to just like be one on one with, you know, people. So I think at the end of the day, man, that's where you're at. I was right there. I, it's a very, it's a very interesting spot to be in because, you know, this side, you know, the good, the bad, the ugly, and then now you're stepping into the unknown. You're like, I gotta go through this again.

You know, I got left and we keep going through this. But it's exciting. I, I, I, it is exciting. It's, but it is unnerving and it's the unknown. And, and, but man, I appreciate you, you know.

Yeah, I know, man. I was thinking, you've been in the garage building the VW bugs, now it's time to move to the Porsches. I love it.

I love it. Well, thanks for having me on, brother.

Thanks, man. I appreciate you being here, buddy.

Thanks so much for everything.

Thanks, buddy. Cool. Hey guys. So this is Real talk, there's a lot of stuff going on. And the thing is, is, by the way, when you're winning, you know, so when, you know, when you're showing up to the game to win, you're going to have losses. And losses come in different forms. It's not loss of money, sometimes it's loss of time, sometimes it's loss of money, loss of time and you know, loss of clientele. You know, you have to be conscious of this, that you're paying attention to what makes you happy. And again, as the journey grows, what makes you happy when you're 20 changes. What makes you happy when you're 30. What makes me happy is hanging out with my kids. What makes me happy is working with people I can help that want to help themselves. That's what makes me happy. I could go chase the money and go sell thousand dollar courses and I could sell thousands of them because they know how to market and generate millions of dollars, which is cool, but I'm not going after the money. So my models. If you're trying to mimic what I do, in my Mastermind, I have 33 guys that pay 30 to 35,000 a year. I don't have a funnel, I don't have a formula, I don't have a website. I just provide great value to 33 guys. That's what I focus on. It's not scalable, it's not sellable. So if you're trying to mimic me and you want to be like me, it goes against everything you've been taught. There's no scalability, no sellability. But what it does is it serves me. It serves me. It makes me want to show up, it makes me want to be real. It makes me want to be, you know, I want to have my peers. I like peer pressure. I want my peers, my boys, that when I go to them, I have some real shit to give them. And I can talk direct to them. And I know when they're having challenges, they can ask me and I'll tell them the real answer. Why? Because I've been through it. I know the real answer. I have 24 years of getting punched in the face. I have 24 years of losing millions of dollars. I have 24 years of making many millions of dollars. And I have, you know, like, so it's like I have invested many millions of dollars in my education and myself, more importantly through implementation. And I have real businesses. I don't have solid Internet course and make millions. I have real companies that produce real revenues. So there's a big difference here. With a lot of people I see out there slinging products. You got a 21 year old life coach. The fuck's a 21 year old know about life? I'm 41. I barely know anything about life. You know what I know about life? I don't know anything about life. I just want more of it. That's what I know. So I think at the end of the day, what we need to realize is if you're not even stepping in the arena, let alone in the stands, let alone a waterboy, let alone a towel boy or girl, whatever, and you're not out there doing the stuff, man, you're not willing, you're not putting it on the line. I'm all in. Yesterday I had a conversation. The guy pings me, yo, man, so this is very interesting. And I get this all the time. Hey, man, I need help. Can you send me some money? Money for what? I engage these people, by the way, because I do like helping people if I can. And it's not about money, by the way. It's not always the way you help people. Actually, a lot of times that hurts people. So he said, yo, I need help, blah, blah, blah. And he told me, and then he mentioned something about like, man, you know, it's been rough. I got a loan to help my mom and my sister out. And you know, I can't pay my rent and I can't pay my loan bill. I was like, yo, first of all, focus on your rent. That's more important than a loan. Secondly, you know, go to your attic, go to your closet, go to your basement, go to your garage door, Create any. Find anything you can and put it on Craigslist, Facebook, you know, whatever. Offer up all these sites and sell this shit. Make some money, get a couple dollars in the bank, get some momentum going. Well, I've been laid off, man, for two months. Okay, what about unemployment? Well, it's still coming in, but it's not enough. Okay, well, what's the solution? And he's like, blah, blah, blah, blah. I'm like, well, do you have any valuables that you could sell? Well, I don't really have a lot of valuables. Okay, cool. Well, your neighbors do, your neighbors friends do, Your friends do. There's communities that need your help. They were looking to clean their garage, they're looking to clean their basement, looking to clean their attic, they're looking to clean their shit up. Like, go be valuable. And then I even sent them a video. I was courteous enough to send this dickhead a video of how to go to yard sales and go clean up neighborhoods, get cash, get products and then put them online and sell them via whatever path. First of all, it's a 12 minute video. And in two minutes he messaged me back. I can't do yard sales here. I'm in Canada. These the most I could make is $40 in a day. My reply was simple. LOL. See, he's the fucking problem. He's the problem. I wouldn't give that guy a penny. And he goes on to say, oh, I have a 10 year old son. Well, shame on you, Dick. Your 10 year old son's watching your dad be a stupid ass loser. By the way, that's loser, loser 100%. Not only did I engage him, not only did I guide him, not only did I hand him the silver key, whatever on a platter. He continued to make excuses. In nanoseconds, boom. Nope, can't do that. He said this. I can only make $40 in a day. Now I don't know about you, I would work 20 hours a day to make 40 bucks a day if I had no money. You do whatever you have to take. And then he said something else. The only real value thing I have is my son's PlayStation. He's 10 years old. He'd kill me if I sold it. I was like, guess what? Sell it. You have to. You have to sell it. Why wouldn't you? You think a PlayStation is cooler than a house to live in? This is what's wrong with people. See, he's already, he doesn't even know there's a game going on. He's already lost. It's sad. I'm in it to win it. Promise you root against me. I love it. I love it. Take me down. I love it. I want you to. I want you to. I want you to wake up thinking about me every day, trying to figure out how to take me down. Why? Because you can't keep up with me. I'm already in your head. I'm already controlling your day before you even get going. I like that. That's why everyone talks about haters. I don't see any haters. They're participators of my growth, not haters. Haters help me participate to get better. They forced me to grow stronger. They forced me to think bigger. They forced me to look at the opportunities. They're pushing me to grow, not to shrink. See what do you how you feel and what you see from the experience is what's going to Drive you. I'm in the game to win. Willing to lose, to win. Because a loss to you is forever. A loss to me is an opportunity to learn. It's a big difference what your friends say. You're stupid because you lost money. Okay, cool. But you live next door to me. You have no money. I have no money. This is king of the dipshit mentality. At least I'm progressing. At least I'm trying to. I'm moving forward. I learned something that you didn't learn. Now I'm building up my muscle of growth. Now I'm building my muscle up of what not to do. That's the stuff that gets me excited. That's why I have my peers, the DM family. 35 GS a year. It's the skill of the lifetime. I believe it. I know it. Because I see guys come in there and tenfold their income in the first year. I see guys get more clarity. It's not just about money, by the way. More clarity, more connections, more opportunity, more bigger picture talking. Who do you call when you make a million dollars? Who do you call? Guys in the DM fam are calling me Evans. I just hit it. I just did it. 1.2 million on a deal net. Cool. Why didn't you make three? Evans? I'm not sure if I should get it. If I'm looking at this cheap jet or this big jet, get the big one. Why would you go cheap? You've never gone cheap anywhere in your life. Why are you trying to play small in the jet world now? It's all conversations. What kind of conversations are you having? What are you thinking about? What are you pushing about? It's not being ungrateful. It's not about any of that. It's not about like appreciating what you got, by the way. That's you judging if you think like that. We're growing. We appreciate everything. That's why we got it. We appreciate it, we respect it, we understand it. We want more of it. We want more time. We want more money, we want more impact. We want more health, we want more wealth. We want more growth. We want more time with our family. We're growing, we're in it. We know we're going to lose. We know we're going to have our, you know, fights with our spouses. We're going to have our kids screaming at us. We're going to be screaming at them. We're going to say stupid stuff. We're going to do stupid stuff. We're going to lose money. We're going to make money. You never lose money. You know where, exactly where it went in business. I'm going to drop. I'm going to spend money on marketing. It's going to bomb. I'm going to learn from that. I know what not to send now. I'm going to, you know, hire people, have to fire people. That's a guaranteed. I will be hiring and firing people the rest of my life. But I'm willing to do that. I'm willing to lose. Of your loss in your brain. What is a loss to succeed? The only thing that a successful person has that you don't is they have more losses than you. That's it. And grit and grinding and pushing and prodding. So with that said, be willing to lose if you want to grow. And if you're not willing to lose to grow, you might as well get out of the game and just go do whatever you do. And. And I'm not saying this is for everybody. Clearly isn't. It's for everyone talking, everyone taking pictures on Instagram, acting like they're cool. But I promise you, the world is so big. There's so much opportunity. The world needs what you have. Even if you don't think you have anything. You got to step your game up. It's your time. It's now. If not now, then when? If not you, then who? When? When? You've been talking about it for so long. Enough's enough. You got this. Thinking about you guys. I got to bounce. CFO time. Have a great day. Make today count.

Peace.