The greeting "How's it going?" invites a reflexive "fine" and hides real problems. Ask instead "What's been getting in your way lately?" When employees share issues, thank them, resist fixing immediately, and ask how you can help. Research shows constructive reactions to problems build trust.
How's it going? Isn't actually a question. Linguists call it a phatic expression— small talk, a conversation ritual that doesn't seek any real information. That's why everybody answers, fine. So if you want to know what's happening with your team, ask them, what's been getting in your way lately? Or, what's been frustrating you at work? Now you'll hear real problems, maybe even about you. When that happens, say, Thank you for sharing that. I didn't realize I was doing that. Then resist the urge to grab the phone and fix everything. Ask them, How can I best be helpful here? In my research on trust, the number one driver of whether employees trust their boss is whether the boss responds constructively when employees share their work problems. But nobody can respond to problems that never get shared. And asking, how's it going? Practically guarantees they won't be shared.
