019: How to deal with negativity

What are you doing on Tuesday the 26th of September, 2023? Because myself and Francesca Amber are coming to the Barbican Hall in London. Our event is called One Night Stand, and this one-night event is all going to be about manifestation, crystal healing, and ridding your limiting beliefs to help you achieve your goals. We've curated an immersive experience that will leave you feeling inspired and empowered throughout the evening as well. We'll also have interactive exercises, we'll have empowering discussions, and the opportunity to connect with like-minded individuals on a similar journey towards personal growth and manifestation. There'll even be an opportunity for you to ask questions as well. This event is your chance to break free from the shackles of self-doubt and unleash your inner greatness. It's time to release those limiting beliefs that might be holding you back and step into your true potential. And if you want to come on your own, by all means do that. Single tickets are available and seating is totally unreserved, so you can even meet up with your spiritual friends and sit with them as well. Head to @kannycrystals on Instagram and click the link in my bio. Tickets are limited, so secure your spot and be part of this transformative experience. Don't miss out on the chance to manifest your dreams and achieve your goals. We can't wait to see you there. Hi everyone, how are we? I hope that you're all good. Thank you so, so much for joining me again. It looks like we made it! The Mercury retrograde ends today, the 4th of February. Woohoo! So for any of you that have been struggling lately, it's done and dusted. Today marks when 2022 really kicks off. Now I don't know about you, but I felt such a shift in energy this morning as well. So I I just woke up feeling so happy and chirpy and like finally good things are coming for us all, if that made sense. I'm currently on day— what are we on? Day 32 today of my 75-day challenge as well. So I'm almost halfway there, almost. And so far I've lost 11 pounds. So I actually feel really, really good about it as well because if you listen to past episodes, you'll know that I've not had any alcohol or any cheat meals or even any takeaways or anything. I just think it's crazy what you can do when you put your mind to it. And the diet that I'm following at the moment is the paleo diet, where you basically just don't eat processed wheat and things like that. So it's made such a difference just not eating wheat and pasta and pizza and garlic bread nonstop, because that's what I friggin live on. I just feel like I've got a lot more clarity inside my head at the moment from not eating wheat. I know that might sound a bit radge, but just I don't know, like, I've just been getting loads of ideas for how to take Canny Crystals forward in the future, and they're just coming at me thick and fast. I feel like I've almost been like plugged into the huge battery that is the universe and just downloaded all these amazing thoughts and plans. I literally feel like 2022 is going to be an amazing year. And as well as all that, I've had the first proper print copy of my Wellbeing Journal come to me today. And I absolutely love it. It's just so sexy, it feels so soft. I just love it. I've been through every single page, like, reading through, proofreading and stuff, and oh, I just can't wait to get out. There's a couple of tweaks that we need to make, but it's just on like where the ring binder things go through some of the text and stuff like that. Um, but they're going to be on my website hopefully from next week, um, and you can purchase one for yourself. They're absolutely amazing. I love them. I'm sure you will as well. But anyway, enough about me. It's always about me, isn't it? Let's get on with this week's episode. So this week, what are we talking about? Oh yeah, so I often get messages like about how do I deal with my boyfriend who thinks that manifesting is witchcraft, or carrying crystals in my bra is just weird as fuck, you know, just like general negativity in your life. So I want to do an episode on like how to deal with negative people and negativity in your life. So we all know by now that the only way that you can manifest is by being in a place of positivity, love, joy, happiness. But if we succumb to these negative frequencies, we're just basically chance to draw more negativity our way, and it's not helping you with your manifestations whatsoever. For example, if you're interacting with negative people, and these are people that you have to deal with on a regular basis, like a friend or a partner, even like a family member or someone that you work with, someone that you see all the time, you should never ever allow their negativity basically to affect you. And what's most important that I've learned over the years is that you should never ever blame them if it actually does. So just never ever give your power away by blaming others for what you have or don't have, for what you feel or what you don't feel, because the moment that you do, yours then starting to become— why can't I talk this morning? I haven't got my false teeth in. You are then starting to become a victim of your own circumstances, and instead of using your time and energy to like overcome the challenges in your daily life, you'll start and get lost in the problems, and you'll end up getting stuck in a really dark and unhappy place for a long time. Like I say, been there, done that, got the bloody t-shirt. So today, like I say, I want to share with you a few ways to deal with the negativity that comes your way from those people that you love and care about in a more positive and effective way. So I'd say the first thing to do is ownership, okay? So you're going to go from being a victim, from blaming, judging, criticizing, to assuming the full responsibility for your own thoughts and feelings. And I want you to take a different approach to how you basically deal with their negativity. So the next time you experience this negativity from them, instead of saying something along the lines of like, 'Ugh, Paul is really draining my energy today. He's making me really unhappy. His negative energy is polluting my mind, body, and life.' How about you just sit and think for a few seconds? So ask yourself some questions. How can I use this situation to my advantage? How can I turn it round? Do you know what I mean? What am I doing wrong? How can I improve this situation? What is it that I can be doing? How can I make my positive energy bigger than his negative energy. What can I learn from all this? Now, you've probably heard us say, like, in past episodes about killing people with kindness, and that's exactly what you need to do here. You need to outshine their negativity with your positivity. The second thing I'd say is just remember that like attracts like, and that whether we like it or not, we all know by now that we attract in our lives the people, the events, the situations that mirror our internal state of mind. So we just need to check how are we feeling on a regular basis. Like, are you happy? Are you excited? Are you grateful? Are you loving? Or are you just feeling pissed off and judgmental and negative and frustrated? Because all you're going to do is attract more of what you're thinking of. Like I said, like attracts like. Now I had a couple of years when I was just projecting my own unhappiness onto those around me because of that situation and And because of that, all I could see was mean and unhappy people. And funny thing, the moment that I recovered, the moment that I shifted from unhappy to happy, everyone around me changed too. The third pointer I'd say is to not take your thoughts too seriously. Just don't believe everything that you think. One of the most powerful lessons that I've learned from life is to take a closer look at the negative people that are present in your life, okay? So what is it about them that triggers you? What is it about them that affects you so badly? Are the things that they're doing really that bad, or is it just your mind playing tricks on you and making it a lot worse? The mind is constantly looking for trouble, and I think once you focus on the negative traits of one person, it's quite challenging to see their positive traits as well. But that doesn't mean that the positive traits don't exist. You're just on that frequency of negativity, so all you're seeing is the negative traits. You just get in that downward cycle, you know, of like hate and resentment, and that's the opposite of what you need to be in with to help your manifestations. Then next, I'd say that my fourth point is to shift your focus. So ask yourself, am I willing to find something positive about these people? Am I willing to see the good qualities in them? And just let the answers come naturally. You don't have to force it, just make sure that you're being honest with yourself. If you feel like you aren't ready to change the way that you look at these people, don't judge yourself for feeling the way that you do. It's all right if you don't want to do it right away, but just be gentle and patient with yourself and give yourself that time and trust that when the time will be right, you'll actually make that step. So then next, I'd say, I think this is 5th point, I'd say is to make sure that you don't make their problems your problems. So don't get involved in idle chitchat at work. Don't get involved in like drama and things. For your own sake and theirs, make sure you don't make their problems your problems. Make sure you don't make their negativity your own. If someone's bitching about someone else in the office, don't get involved. Just look the other way or anything like that, you know what I mean? Like, if you want to shed light into the dark, you need to focus on the solutions, not the problems. So just don't get involved in anything like that. If someone's wanting to talk negatively and have this negative aura and this negative attitude, let them crack on with it. Just nod and agree and walk off. Then 6th, I'd say that you need to learn to let go of your need to complain. Now, we all do it daily, like I say, whether we intend to or not, but we need to make sure that we take responsibility for our own emotions and our own state of being. Please, like, don't go around complaining about how much their negativity is affecting you, because this will only create more negativity and bring more negative situations into your life. You've got to assume that responsibility for your own thoughts and feelings and see what you can do to feel better, what you can do to change the current situation by changing your tunnel of vision, basically, like by changing your attitude and the way that you look at things. And that's the only way that you're going to change your perception. Next, and 7th, I think it is, is to raise your positive energy. So as we know, energy is contagious, and focusing on the negative energy of others is not going to create any positivity, as we know. It'll only create more negativity. So you need to focus on raising your positive energy and watch that negativity disappear. How do you raise your positive energy? Now, I don't know if you remember, but episode 5 of this podcast was called How to Raise Your Vibes, and I talk about this in way more detail there. But put simply, you just raise your positivity by focusing more and more on things you love about these people that behave in negative ways. And by focusing on the things that you love about yourself, your life, the world around you, and you do so by thinking of someone that you love deeply, by thinking of, like, some of the things that you're really passionate about, and by doing so, you immediately are raising your positive energy. You did an amazing job increasing the negative energy by focusing on things that you didn't like, talking about them over and over again, So now it's time to apply that same technique to increase your positive energy. You can't have negative and positive coexist, okay? It's impossible. You just focus on one or the other, and based on that, you will feel happy or unhappy. It's really that simple. My 8th point— where are we in me notes? There we go— is to kind of be the change that you want to see in your world. So trust me when I tell you that this world is nothing more than a reflection of who we are deep down inside. This is like your universe, okay? So seek things that make you feel good. Live life in a positive and cheerful and loving and happy way, and trust that by doing so, all of the negative people that are present in your life will be affected by your feel-good energy. They'll start to change, okay? You can't physically change others. You can only change yourself, but by doing so, you will change the whole world around you. Think about this idea until it makes sense to you and start working on changing the world by changing yourself. So when I'm happy, the whole world seems to be happy. When I'm sad, sadness is all that I see. So trust that those who are meant to stay in your life will stay and learn from you, and you will learn from them as long as they're still there as well. And those who are meant to leave will leave, but just learn to go with the flow. And my last point, I can't remember if this is 8th or 9th, I do apologize. My last point would probably be to have that simultaneous awareness, okay? So work on understanding life. Learn to accept both the negative and the positive traits in people. Don't like, don't put up and condemn the negativity, but just don't judge it. Don't resist it. Allow it to just be. It doesn't affect you. It's not going to affect you. Just have that positive mindset. Just observe it, accept it, move on. Remember that your world is nothing more than a reflection of who you are on the inside. So like your own thoughts, your own emotions. Own your life. No matter how many challenges you face in life, and no matter how many negative and difficult people you'll have to deal with, it's always better to take a look at what you could do better instead of pointing out what they're doing wrong. Never ever give your power away, like I say, by blaming outside circumstances for your internal state of being. And I think I mentioned this in the last episode as well, but I was in this exact scenario up until a couple of years ago. I worked with some very, very negative people. Well, one negative person in particular. And it really drained me, and it really dragged us down as well. And for years, I blamed him for making me so angry. Uh, like, making us go home on a night frustrated. I blamed him for the days that I just couldn't be arsed to go into work because I knew I would have to be around him all day and sit around him. And not to blow my own trumpet or anything, but since leaving school, every single job interview I'd gone for, I got the job. So when I was trying to escape from this job to get away from him, I had 11 or 12 interviews in the space of a year for other places, and I was screaming desperation to the universe, but I didn't see it myself. But the reason I was wanting to leave was purely because I hated this individual, because I'd let him get to me. And the reason I had so many interviews was because every single one I was going for, they said that I was just pipped at the post by someone else. And it really started to get to me and make me look at what was happening in the bigger picture here. And because I was throwing hate and aggression at him, I was just drawing more and more negativity, hate, and aggression my way. And by doing this, I was obviously giving off a negative vibe in my interviews as well that other people just didn't like. And my partner even mentioned it, like, that I started being a bit more snappier at home. My mom said I had a bit of a temper one day, and it just all made me realize that by being around this negativity It was actually affecting who I was as a person because I'm not like that at all. And I started to not even recognize who I was anymore. And the only way that I was able to like finally get out of that workplace was to boost my vibes, like raise my positivity, just take some time out for me. And I basically returned to that job, giving my all, not letting that person affect us. And when he did, I just gave nothing but love and positivity back in return. So there's some of my tips basically on dealing with a negative person in your life. But then on the flip side, what if we allow that negativity to affect our manifestations in our daily life? So what would happen? So when we think of manifesting, most people are really only thinking about one thing, and, and that's the way that they want their future to be. And don't get us wrong, like, that's great. It's important to have a clear vision for what you want in your life and goals to look at. Like in order to achieve them. But it's also really, really important not to forget that when you focus on something, you're going to get more of that in your life. So what this means is that if you spend all day focusing on how bad things are going, then chances are that those bad vibes are going to continue coming your way because there's nothing else fighting against them in that present moment. So while having an optimistic attitude is important, I'd say that it can't exist, um, basically without balancing out with some realistic thoughts. And I know it's very hard, like, if not impossible, to succeed at staying positive and reversing a negative manifestation. So what I mean by a negative manifestation is actually quite a common occurrence for many people, like even myself, and they can manifest in various ways including, like, thoughts, feelings, words. And negative manifestations are often the result of an unmet need or an unmet dream or desire that's been suppressed by, you know, like negative attitudes like fear, hate, or guilt. And the first step to change any negative manifestation is to first identify what they are and where they come from. And then once you've identified them, then it becomes easier to find out how best to get rid of them. So many people have experienced negative manifestations in their life. For instance, like, you might have manifested an illness or an injury, like what we spoke about a few weeks ago, that caused you pain, suffering, and hurt. And that same power that produces positive manifestations also produces negative ones. So gaining clarity and increasing your understanding of how results are created is a fundamental lesson that we've all got to learn. To deal with bad days, you must eliminate the bad as fast as you can and just switch that frequency over to focus on what's good. I think as long as your emotions are negatively wired, it'll be impossible for the Law of Attraction to deliver the positive outcomes that you're aiming for. And I know when some of you are saying, oh, Mart, I need some help, my manifestations aren't coming, this is probably the reason why. It'll be the number one reason why, in fact. A lot of you do manifest, and a lot of you do manage to manifest, but the negativity is basically what's stopping people from doing it. People might think they're the most positive person, but when you look deep down inside, It's just those negative encumbering thoughts that are basically rolling around in your head. So if you think about it, like, positive manifestation to take place, you must be in love or like fully engaged with an idea that aligns with your mental, emotional, and spiritual state. You must be fully committed to creating it. You must align it with your core values and the purpose that you serve. So even just take a moment now to do a little self-reflection and notice where your dominant feelings and thoughts and overall energy lie. Like, like, does fear, anxiety, confusion, and anger— do they feel more familiar and stronger than positive emotions? Like, what scenarios are more dominant in your thoughts? Best-case scenarios or worst-case scenarios? Which is it? Taking that time to notice your mood and tone in your mind is a great first step because it serves as a stepping stone into something better. It's inevitable as well because we're constantly bombarded with negativity wherever we go. I mean, it's not just the news and social media, but even seeing family and friends. Like, I went to see my mom yesterday and, oh God, it's like every 2 minutes, "Oh well, you shouldn't be walking the dog on your own, it's not safe out there." I'm like, one isolated incident of someone getting mugged or stabbed or something in central London. I know it happens everywhere, but I'm not gonna lock myself up and become agoraphobic because of it, do you know what I mean? So it's just how you deal with those negative thoughts. And stopping them from manifesting. But like I say, family, friends, our memories, even our unconscious contribute to lots of sources of negativity in our lives. And you've just got to learn to rise above it and rise above that negativity. And that's part of the challenge. But even more than that is recognizing that you get to choose what you accept and reject in your thoughts. So your negative thoughts can manifest, but so can your positive thoughts. And we've done this many times before. So you can now see that learning how to stop negative thoughts from manifesting, it's not just about trying to eliminate the negative thoughts, but rather learning how to shift your focus, switching on that positive frequency instead. So negative thoughts will manifest just as any other positive or neutral thoughts do. The Law of Attraction obviously doesn't make any distinction between what you consider positive or negative. It just sees things as energy, basically. Positive and negative thoughts are human construct, okay? We've, we've made that up. They are judgments that you consider positive or negative, but to the Law of Attraction, it's energy. It's energy with a low vibration. It's energy with a high vibration. The Law of Attraction just responds to these thoughts and energies, whether they be positive or negative, whether they are thoughts of what you want, thoughts of what you don't want. Our negative thoughts do manifest. Okay, so if your life currently reflects what you don't want, or even if there's something in your life that you really don't want, that's most likely the result of your negative thoughts manifesting. So why is it that we manifest things that we don't want? Like I say, the Law of Attraction doesn't cherry-pick thoughts. It doesn't distinguish between positive or negative. Everything that we think about consistently will manifest. Negative thoughts tend to become habitual, okay? So we tend to develop the habit of thinking negatively about certain things. And because it's a habit, we tend to do it a lot. We tend to do it without our conscious awareness even. Suppose, like, for example, you hate your boss. Thinking negative thoughts about them gives you some sort of relief in dealing with them and how much you dislike them. And, you know, since you can't act out in any other way because you might lose your job, thinking and talking negatively about him or her becomes kind of a release for you, and it offers you some relief. Okay, so look at your life and you'll soon see that everything and everyone that you dislike about your life is the result of your persistent negative thoughts. So being negative and pessimistic in general can manifest in many, many different ways in your life. We all know people who are always miserable, pessimistic, and who will always see the negative side of things. Like I say, I call them mood hoovers. We've talked about this in past episodes as well. But these people's lives are never ever filled with joy. They're always just, they're always just going to attract negative people and negative events and negative circumstances into their lives. So if you want to learn how to stop negative thoughts from manifesting, you have to start with becoming aware of those negative thoughts. And without that awareness, you'll be baffled why you're always manifesting things that seem to be the opposite of what you want. And like I said before, the most obvious way to stop negative thoughts from manifesting is to not have them in the first place. But think about it, can you live in this day and age without having any negative thoughts? I know I can't. I'd probably say that it's actually impossible. Apart from being bombarded with bad news every day, we all have our memories, our collective consciousness to deal with, and negativity is just a part of life. Like I said, there's no beating around the bush. It's just something that we have to get on with. It's impossible to stop having negative thoughts altogether, but that doesn't mean that we're doomed to keep manifesting negativity. You've just got to ensure that you've got awareness of where the negativity is coming from. Like I said before, identify the source. Don't indulge and take part in the negativity. Cancel those negative thoughts out. Overwhelm your life with positivity. Use gratitude to raise your vibes. You should be back on track in no time. So I hope that that helps you deal a bit better with negativity in your life, or at the very least explain what I do when I hit a stumbling block when I'm trying to manifest and that surrounding me is negativity. And also, where are we? I had a message from Mika, this lovely name by the way, um, this week on Instagram, and she says, where is it? Hi, I love your podcast. Thanks, babe. And I have a question for you to hopefully answer on it. I am in a new job, which I am so grateful to have, but it's just not the job I want. It's making me miserable. I've taken a few days sick as I need to feel normal again, but I'm worried that I have done the wrong thing. My partner mourns that we need the money and can't afford for me to be off, but I can feel myself becoming worse every time that I'm there. I also have another job potentially that I really, really want, and I'm pinning my hopes on that, but then worried that I won't get it. I believe that the universe will give what is meant for me as well. Sorry, this sounds so confusing, but that's how I feel right now, completely confused. Right, Mika, I'm so sorry that you feel that way, uh, but if it's any consolation, like I've just mentioned, I was in the exact same position a few years ago, and I ended up hating my job because of that one or two people basically that were draining us. I hope that what I've already spoke about in this week's episode has kind of helped you a little bit because it is exactly what this episode's about. And I think we can all— something that we can all do in these situations is arm ourselves with positivity, kill people with kindness, put on that smiling face. And I think the more that we do that, the more that we're faking to the universe that we're happy in this role, and then the universe will in turn give us back a role or a job that we're happy with and that we love. I know it's easier said than done, I know, but when you're going to a job every day that's making you miserable, for the time being, I just try and suck it up, like, compose yourself best as you can, arm yourself with that positivity, okay, and do that until you hear about this new job, just knowing that your current situation, your current job isn't forever. Okay, that was my biggest saving grace. I knew that it might seem like forever right now, but I knew that I wasn't going to have to put up with these people. I wasn't going to have to still be in that job in a few months' time, and that really helped us through. All I can really suggest for you otherwise is to preserve your energy. Don't get involved. Don't indulge in the drama and things at work. Like I say, I know it's all easier said than done because I don't know your certain circumstances. But just go there, do your job to the best that you possibly can do, and come home. Make sure that you take that time out on an evening and weekends, basically, once you're home to do something that you enjoy doing. Okay, raise your vibes, even if it's just going out for a walk, reading a book, sticking your happy playlist on. I've talked about this before, making a playlist on Spotify is amazing. I love doing the housework now because I just put my happy playlist on, whack my headphones in, and away I go with the feather duster and the bloody, um, the hoover. But yeah, read a book, meditate, visit friends and family. I think one of my biggest downfalls was that I was just so drained coming in from work that I would lock myself away in the house and I would sit and eat junk food, I'd sit and eat takeaways, I'd watch trash TV, and I'd go to bed. And believe me, that made us 10 times worse. But yeah, I really do feel for you, Pat. And like I say, No, it's not forever. You're destined for greater and better things, but good luck with this new job as well. I really, really hope that when it comes up that you get it, but let us know how you get on in interview and let us know when you get your interview and things like that, and I'll send you all the luck in the world, okay? Thanks so much for getting in touch. I hope that everyone has enjoyed this episode, but feel free, let us know. I know you will. You can contact us or follow me @canny_crystals on both TikTok and Instagram. Alternatively, you can follow me personal, which is @marttweedy. All of my social links are in the show notes below. Let us know what you want to hear from this podcast. Like I always say every week, drop us a message. Please don't forget to like, rate, and review this podcast. It's free for you to do so, but it really helps me out so, so much. I was even back in the top 50 again last week. It was amazing. And like I say, you can rate and review on Spotify if you didn't already know now as well. And finally, don't forget to visit my website, cannycrystals.co.uk, for all your spiritual needs. Thank you so much for listening to me once again, and I'll hopefully see you all again next week. Have a super beautiful week, everyone. Bye! Come and join me in the Manifest With Mark community. For just £10 a month, you'll get exclusive access to my app, and you'll join all the other beautiful souls in the canny community where each day you'll be held accountable to making your dreams and desires come to fruition. You'll also be set daily and weekly challenges. There's a chat room built in so you can talk to people in real time, and you can also pop over any questions that you have in the Q&A forum and and I'll answer them for you. It's changing people's lives, and we've already had so many people manifesting things in the first 2 weeks alone. Each new moon, I'll also be going live within the group on a face-to-face video to help you get the most out of the lunar cycles, as well as answer any burning questions that you have. And these live meetups are so powerful, and everyone in the group has had nothing but praise for the safe space that we share. There are very limited spaces for this community, however, just to ensure that I can place my focus on you and nurture you into the ultimate manifester. So if you'd like a spot, please be quick and reserve your seat now. Head to cannycrystalsacademy.co.uk and choose the Manifest with Mart option where you can get instant access. And what's more, you'll also get access to all of the past recordings and chats too. Join now and start living the life of your dreams.