053: Staying true to yourself, ft. Luisa Omielan

What are you doing on Tuesday the 26th of September, 2023? Because myself and Francesca Amber are coming to the Barbican Hall in London. Our event is called One Night Stand, and this one-night event is all going to be about manifestation, crystal healing, and ridding your limiting beliefs to help you achieve your goals. We've curated an immersive experience that will leave you feeling inspired and empowered throughout the evening as well. We'll also have interactive exercises, we'll have empowering discussions, and the opportunity to connect with like-minded individuals on a similar journey towards personal growth and manifestation. There'll even be an opportunity for you to ask questions as well. This event is your chance to break free from the shackles of self-doubt and unleash your inner greatness. It's time to release those limiting beliefs that might be holding you back and step into your true potential. And if you want to come on your own, by all means do that. Single tickets are available and seating is totally unreserved, so You can even meet up with your spiritual friends and sit with them as well. Head to @kanyacrystals on Instagram and click the link in my bio. Tickets are limited, so secure your spot and be part of this transformative experience. Don't miss out on the chance to manifest your dreams and achieve your goals. We can't wait to see you there. Hello everyone and thank you for joining me on another episode of Canny Crystals, the podcast. As you know by now, my name is Mart Tweedyedy, I'm your host, and this week I've got another guest on the show. That's 3 weeks in a row now. I don't know who I think I am, but let me tell you when I say this, I am so excited to announce today's guest. So I first came across her 9 years ago when one of my friends dragged us along to her one-woman stand-up show, Newcastle Quayside, It was What Would Beyoncé Do? Purely because it has Beyoncé in the title. Everyone knows how Beyoncé mad I am. And we left as massive fans. We even got chatting to her at the door as she was selling the little badges and things. And I've since read a book. I've listened to every podcast episode of hers. I've watched her Amazon special, her BBC Three special. I've been to her every tour, every time she's visited Newcastle. And next Friday will be no exception. It'll actually be my 6th time. So please welcome to the show Louisa Ormilian.

Oh, thank you so much. What an introduction, man. What an introduction, you legend.

Thank you, Louisa. It's such an honor to have you here. How are you?

I'm all right. Well, I'm not all right. I'm miserable and depressed, but you know, who isn't?

So aren't we all, right?

It's so like, I'm not even trying to hide it anymore. Like, is it anyone— like, you know, normally when you're a bit miserable and depressed, you're like 'Oh, keep it on the DL,' and you know, and now you just, you turn on every news channel or anything and you're just like, the world's on fire. Like, we're all just on fire. Somebody save us from ourselves, please.

So it's really fucking depressing, isn't it?

So much so, so much so. So I'm really excited to do this really uplifting podcast that really—

that's what we're here for. So I'm going to mention this now, but I'm also going to mention it at the end as well, just for a reminder. And I'll put the link to the tickets in the show notes as well. But if you want to come and see Louisa at Newcastle's Tyne Theatre and Opera House next Friday night, October 21st, please go and get your tickets now before they sell out. They're only £15. And I mean, where else can you have a night out and party for £15, right?

And actually, if you use the code Renaissance, you can get them less than that.

So, oh, fuck off, now you tell us.

No, if you use— if you use the code Renaissance, you can get them less than that. And I because I understand it's so difficult for people. And with the cost of living, people are less likely to spend their money on a, um, on a— on what they think is a— unless it's a sure hit, you're not going to spend your money. And I need people to know that, like, I'm a sure hit. So even though you've not heard of me, like, when I tell you, you will have the night of your life. Yes, I'm depressed in real life, but on stage I'm a menace, mate. Like, you need to come, and it's the only thing that is so joyful, so fun, so much like so good. Just trust me, even if you're on your own, just come to the show. You will.

I've been to see you once on my own and I had the time of my life.

I love it. Exactly, exactly. Thank you, Bart.

Thank you. You're welcome. One of my friends dropped out, she was really, really ill at the time, and I was like, oh, screw this, I'm just gonna go on my own. Couldn't get anyone to like, like take the ticket and stuff, so I went on my own and had the night of my life. I love that. That was— am I right, ladies?

Oh, was it? That's, that's adorable. So I like, I often get people message me and they say, oh, do you mind if I come on my own? I'm like For me, it's a really feel-good, because once you're in there, it's like in the cinema. It's not like you talk to somebody throughout the show anyway. And as you're coming out, you like, you talk to people as you exit. And my audiences are— what I love, what I, what I can stand by, Mart, is I have the best audiences in the world. Like, genuinely, the love I have for them, like, it's too, it's too much. Sometimes I have to be like, okay guys, I've shared too much, I need to keep a distance. But it's so, it's such a beautiful intimate relationship that's not sexual, um, but I just, uh, like, I love them. So I feel like if you come on your own, you'll be very, very welcome and you won't feel like a weird sad sack at all.

So no, not at all. And I mean, there's only a certain amount of people that I would actually physically go to a show on my own for, and I think Beyoncé is one of them. Yes, you're probably second, and I think Joe Lycett would probably be my third, to be totally honest.

Exactly, exactly, exactly. That's great company, I think.

Let's have a dinner party. You, me, Joe Lycett, and Beyoncé.

Oh my goodness, the dream.

So Louisa, I guess I'm just going to jump right in. So you might not necessarily be spiritual. I know you're into tarot cards and things like that.

Yeah, yeah.

So I was gonna say, you're not spirituality as such, but you're amazing at standing strong in your power, aren't you? And, you know, like holding your own. And you're also like a massive advocate for female empowerment. And that's the whole point that I started this podcast for, to kind of help and empower other people going through the same daily shit that we all go through. So how do you keep up your infectious positivity 24/7? Like, I know you were saying, like, I know you were saying, like, you're down a day, but you are always, like, infectiously positive.

Well, I think, do you know what, I think actually it's been to be here, have a really honest conversation with you, I think that's been difficult because I have stayed so authentic and so true to my voice. And when it came to my work, I'm really fortunate that I've got a job that is a job that I love, that I want to do. Like, it's— and I feel like it's my vocation, it's my calling. And I have been so stubborn with it, probably at the cost of many jobs, of cash, of money, of opportunities, because I've gone, if it's not in alignment with my, um, ethos, with how I feel about things, with how— with the voice that I give on stage. So if I'm going on stage going, bitch, you better love yourself, bitch, life is hard, like, you better love yourself, it's hard, it's going to kick you, it's going to keep kicking you, but you know what, like, we are stronger, we are fitter, we are beautiful, we keep fucking going. Like, if the opportunities I've had don't reflect that, I've said no to it. And what's hard is it's been a long slog of that, and it's isolating and it's difficult. And actually, I often do my shows not for other people now, but it's because what I— it's what I need to hear. Because you go, actually, to take the path less trodden is very isolating. Like, it is very isolating. And to follow your own heart can be, you know, it puts you in a vulnerable position. Like, it's not necessarily easy. So I almost don't want to sugarcoat it and be like, yeah, follow your own heart, like it'll be easy. And It's not easy. It's not easy. It's not pretty. It's not attractive. It can be really fucking hard sometimes. When it pays off, it's the most beautiful feeling in the world. Like, it's amazing and stunning. When it doesn't, you just have to, I don't know, hold on to that, hold on to that notion that you go, but I'm staying true to myself. And there has to be, there has to be some respect and some, um, recognition from yourself, not from others, but in that you go, do you know what, but I'm staying true to myself.

Yeah, I think staying true to yourself is such a big part of it as well. And I mean, you mention in your shows things like, you know, it's time to get sexy, let's talk about mental health, cronk cronk. And like, honestly, but honestly, like, I praise you for bringing such like mental health like to the forefront of the comical agenda because a lot of comedians like they tiptoe around subjects like that It's something that we don't as a nation talk about enough. So, like, how do you deal with your mental health? And when you're having, like, an off day, what do you do to make yourself feel better?

Well, the conversation's changing now. Like, I was doing stuff about mental health 10 years ago, and it's weird because this 10 show that I'm doing, I'm doing material from that show Beyoncé, where that joke is from, about treating that— I wish mental health was seen as, like, physical health. Like, you go to a gym, why don't you go to, like, a mental health gym? Yeah, and it's weird doing that. When I first started doing this new tour show, I'm only doing a few dates, but when I first did it, I was like, oh, this is old. Everyone talks about mental health now. Like, this is so old. And so many people were like, oh, it's still so relevant, it's still so relevant. You're like, what? And, um, it is still so relevant. I'm almost tired of blaming mental health for everything and being like, oh, actually, that's just a mental health day, you need to work on your mental health. Actually, what about the validation in our environment can be shit? That things are difficult for people, that it used to be the case that you would work full-time to put, you know, to be able to go on holiday or have a night out or do those things, and you would do extra time to, you know, get a nicer car or get the boiler fitted or whatever it is, you know, get a takeaway that weekend. But now people are working overtime just to put food on the table, so like, yeah, you can look after your mental health who you like, but if you're working full-time, you're doing everything you can, and life's not a struggle, that's really challenging. And the only thing which I'm trying desperately to do now is connection with other people, is to connect with other people, is to reach out. And so you don't feel on your own going through this, because I think globally there is this shift So I would say it's connection, connection, connection, connection. Whether that's— yeah, go on.

I was going to say, I've spoke about this in past podcast episodes. For me, it's kind of feeling connected to other people because that gives me hope and meaning and that empowers me to go on. Yeah, I spoke about that. And a big part, I guess, of mental health for me is self-care. And I mean, I see you as the queen of self-love and self-care. Well, I remember you stood on stage that first time I saw you and you were rubbing your body up and down and you're just You're so confident in your own skin. So I guess what I want to know from you is, what's your daily self-care routine look like, and where do you get all that confidence from on a daily basis?

I've just never— I've never bought into that idea of like body image issues or anything like that, and I've always felt beautiful. And like, I've always just felt— but like, I feel beautiful from the inside. So I find it funny, like, to pull weird faces or ugly faces, or if I see an ugly picture or whatever, like, it doesn't make me think, oh, I'm not beautiful, or I'm beautiful. I just don't really like care. Like, I just feel like, I don't know, like I'm, I'm good. Like, I'm just, I'm good. And I think self-care can also include, um, whether it's things like— and it's so weird, isn't it? Because when we talk about beauty standards or the beauty industry, there's almost— and maybe I'm showing my age here, um, and my own inherent sexism— you almost feel like there's, it's, um it's put down. Like, it's like, oh, you're getting your hair and your nails done. Oh, like, it's almost a bit shallow. Yeah, actually, there is something to be said for going— do you know what, it's like, hair is so important. Like, having nice nails can be so important to somebody. Having, like, shaving your leg— the difference between— the difference I will feel, and it's so basic, but like, if I've not shaved my legs, if I've not put any makeup on, if I've not washed my hair, if I've not done anything, if I smell like a tramp it's fine. If I have my eyebrows waxed and my hair done and my nails done and I've got a tan, and like, I'm gonna feel nicer. I'm just gonna feel nicer. And I don't like that there's this almost snobbery when it comes to that. And I can always remember, like, like, my mum, she passed away with cancer, and even on her deathbed she wanted to look nice. Like, even on her deathbed she wanted to have her hair done, and, you know, can you file her nails? Yeah, that's not shallow to do that to somebody that's dying. That's not shallow or a thing. That's somebody still finding recognition and, and, um, a bit of joy in those kind of self-care acts. I think they're vital, and I think we've almost— we almost associate— maybe it's my sexism— self-care is associated with commercial beauty, and I just don't want people to treat it as if they don't deserve it because they— oh well, it's just commercial, it's shallow. No. There's something in that. There's something very nurturing in that.

Yeah, I was going to say, because I kind of feel exactly the same as you, like, because a lot of my business is my face at the forefront of it on TikTok and Instagram, just like yourself, do you know what I mean? Like, making videos every day.

Your brand. You're your brand.

Yeah, well, that's exactly it. So my face is my fortune. I'm the one that makes the money, so people buy into me and into my story. So it's only recently I've started having Botox. I've only had it twice, but It's because I started getting real wrinkles then. I mean, I'm 35 now, catching up to you. And, um, but I started getting these wrinkles and they made me so self-conscious. So even just getting this Botox once, I was like, what a difference it made to my— like, I don't know, just to my mental health. And I was thinking, okay, I'm not like— yeah, it's really weird how it came across, but you know what I'm saying?

Uh, completely, completely. I think there's something to be said for whatever makes you feel better. And makes you feel confident and whatever you need. I think self-care is, you know, there's a lot of things about, um, I'm reading lots about, I keep seeing stuff on TikTok about relationships and, um, and love languages and how people need to be loved. And I think if your love language to yourself is actually, I'm going to treat you and spoil you because that's how you like to be loved, then you need to do that. Like, that's just your love language.

But it is seen as shallow, like what you were saying. Like, because I told all my friends, I was like, oh, I've had Botox. Because a few of them mentioned straight away, they were like, what? Why do you look different? How do you look like younger? And I was like, I've had Botox. And they were like, really, Mart? And like, do you know what I mean? It's seen as like a shallow thing to do. And I'm like, but this is my job.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's hard. And it's like I say, it's a global conversation— or the— not the global, but the universal thing. Because I'd be like that, but really, you've had Botox? Like, really? But actually, underneath it all, what you're doing is you're saying to somebody, really, Like, you want to make yourself feel better? Well, yeah, like, yeah, don't we all? Like, hello, have you turned on the news? Of course we freaking do. Like, exactly, exactly.

So have you got any tips on finding love then? Because you've become kind of so infamous—

Are you actually joking? Are you actually taking the piss out of me now?

Well, you've become so infamous for being single that you've even started your now annual Valentine's party, haven't you?

God, don't even talk to you about it. Yes, and I'm doing up north this year because I always did it in London. So every Valentine's, uh, I used to go out with my friend Pas before she, uh, died. Hashtag got into a relationship with somebody else and now doesn't come out with me on Valentine's Day, uh, she said to me. Um, my very good friend Pascal, uh, we used to spend Valentine's time together. And then I did the Beyoncé show and people used to always want to go out dancing after it, and I was like, oh, it needs to be like a night out. And I got to Valentine's, I was like, I've got nothing to do. I was like, oh, I'll put on the Beyoncé show for all the like single ladies. And, um, had this epic night, like it was just phenomenal, it was so much fun. And then there's not been any Valentine's or any birthday or any Christmas that surpassed my Valentine's party. They're so much fun, I love them. Um, and so I do basically my solo show followed by an after party. It's always really joyous. And next year I'll be doing it in Manchester. Uh, because I always do it in London and people up north are like, why don't you ever do it anywhere else? So I'll be doing it in Manchester.

So yeah, so you're kind of more like Cilla Black or Paddy McGuinness than anything else, aren't you? You're hooking up other people but forever.

I think more silly. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, I think your prince will come one day. It'll be when you least expect it. And stop looking for it.

I hope so, mate. Like, I hope so. I was, I was with— not with somebody in my head, I was with somebody, but, um, In my heart, let's put it, in my heart I was with somebody, but on paper it wasn't. Um, and, um, yeah, it's hard. It is hard out there, I think.

Yeah, yeah. But I mean, who needs a man? Because I know you've got your gigantic doggy Bernie to keep your company, haven't you?

So you have Bernie. I do. I've got Bernie's Mountain Dog, and she's an absolute legend, and I'm so lucky to have her. And that's love. Like, it's funny that where we find love, like, she to me is love. She's just a great love, and I'm so lucky to have her in my life. I think she's a legend.

I was going to say, like, I've met her a couple of times now after shows and she's just the most gorgeous dog I've ever seen.

She is. Do you share the video with people or is it just the podcast? Do you share the video?

Yeah, I can share both.

Yeah. Bernie. There you go. Shout, Bernie. Bernie.

Bernie. I love her. I can imagine she's quite a handful though, is she?

On the bed. No, she's not. She's easy.

No?

She's easy. I'm the handful. On the bed. On the bed.

On the bed.

There she is.

Hi Bernie. Oh, bless her. Absolutely lush. So do you think she's a bit of a cock block for you finding love?

Do you know, I used to always say she was a massive cock block because everyone said to me, Mart, they were like, oh, when you get a dog, loads of guys will talk to you. Loads of guys will be like, oh my God, if she can handle that dog, imagine what she could handle with my penis. Whatever. And instead I just get guys being like, oh, that's a big oaf, look at the size of that dog, but it'll eat me.

Oh, she's absolutely adorable though, right?

Hello, she's a big giant baby. Yeah, she's a big like baby. Any guy that's intimidated by Bernie is not the kind of man that I want in my life. So, um, yeah.

So Louisa, can I ask, because I think it was on the Am I Right Ladies tour, I remember you saying you were sent to Hollywood and you made a joke about, you know, reading The Secret, it really works. Um, and I know you're familiar with the concepts of manifestation. I think most recently you've even done a Podcast for Bitches episode about manifestation. Yeah, so other than the obvious, like your BAFTA win, getting your own Amazon and BBC Three shows, and award-winning stand-up shows, what do you feel that you've manifested over the years, like, just by giving it attention and, like, setting yourself goals and dreams?

I think it's— it's, you know, I've got a really difficult relationship with manifestation now. Like, I find it very difficult, and I think that's where I've kind of lost the way a bit. And I came from grief, actually, because when I was younger, I wasn't a very, um, I wasn't a very happy child. And so I would disappear into like daydreaming, and I would yearn and pray and pray and pray. Like, I used to watch Sister Act all the time, and I just wanted to be like Whoopi Goldberg. So I just, I was like, can I just be like that? Can I just have joy? I just want to have joy. I just want to laugh. I just want it to be easy and to laugh. Because there was a lot going on when we were younger, things, it was difficult, as it is for many people, right? And, um, So I grew up with this urge, like this desperate yearning to have the light on my face and to be laughing and for it to be fun and for it to be joyful, right? And then when I started doing solo shows, I recognized the younger version of me, and that I recognized— I, I remember looking back and being like, see, I got it. Like, I got you there. Like, I did it, I did it. And then my mom got sick and I was desperate to help her, and it didn't matter how hard I prayed or begged, I couldn't. And I've struggled with that since that. And I know there's that song, you can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes you can get what you need.

Yeah.

And, um, yeah, I struggle now, Mart. I won't lie. Sorry, this isn't the positive.

No, no, no, it's raw truth. Yeah, yeah.

Like it's— I've struggled with that, that you go— I think there's a danger in, um, in anything being too extreme and the idea that we can manifest anything, because actually some things are completely out of our control, right? With all the love in the world, you can't stop somebody from— but because I know you lost your grandfather, right?

Yeah, I did.

Yeah. And you can't You know, I'm sure you're like the same. You're like, please don't go, like, please don't go, please don't go, like, I'll do anything, like, I can see them here, I can see them here. It doesn't, doesn't work. Yeah. Um, so I think it's how— so can you, like, it's maybe finding our place in the universe and working— this sounds a bit whack, but working with the universe to be like, okay, that's the path I'm on, that was her path. I can't manifest somebody else's path. I can't manifest what happens to them. I could only maybe manifest what happens— what do I bring into my path? So is it then— maybe I'll answer my own question. Actually, maybe this is really helpful. Maybe this is a bit of therapy that I need right now. And I manifest peace. Can I manifest acceptance? Can I manifest humility? Can I manifest, um, the, um, the strength to keep going? Can I manifest that for myself? Can I manifest happiness?

I guess I'm coming from the same place as you as well, because when my granddad died, all I wanted to do was take away my nana's pain and my mom and her sister's pain. Yeah, but you can't manifest that for other people, so you've just got to universally manifest peace as a whole. Yeah, yeah, yeah, hopefully that spreads, if that makes sense.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I think that's exactly it. And I think it's, it's, it's weird, isn't it, because manifest is such a weird part of our culture now as a topic. Like, it's a buzzword, isn't it?

Yeah, yeah.

The buzzword is you manifest. What do you manifest? You manifest anything you want. But if you're in a lot of pain or dealing with somebody that's sick or vulnerable, what you want is to take away that pain.

Yeah, yeah.

You can't manifest that.

So I think a lot of manifesting for me and reaching those goals and dreams in life comes kind of down to being grateful for what I already have in my life. So rather than sitting in that negative bias— so you probably know as well as I do, like, if you got out of bed on a morning, you stub your toe, Bernie trips you up, you fall down the stairs, you've burnt your forehead on your straighteners, you're going to be in a pretty shitty mood. So your brain then automatically starts to look for other things to feel shitty about just to prove itself right.

Hold on, is trying to hold on to, uh, the love and the peace. And, and to every pain there is also pleasure. For every loss there is always something gained. There is always— not because we're special or because of it, but it's just the sickly nature of life. Like, that's how life works. It's up and down, it's left and right, it's black and white. Like, it's just the way it is, right? It's just the rhythm of life. So I think it's just like you say, like finding the other beat and being like, okay, let me cling on to this beat instead. Yeah, because it's already hard, so let me cling on to the good that I have got, that I have, you know, that you do have your mum and your grandma, that they are there, that you did have a wonderful granddad. That I did have the most magnificent mother ever. Like, you know.

Yeah. So what are you grateful for in your life right now? Let's change the tune then. Right now, if I had to— if I said to you, write a gratitude list of 3 things, what would they be right now?

I'm so grateful for Bernie. I'm so grateful for Bernie. I think I under— I don't treat her very well. I feel like I let her down quite a lot because, I mean, I try, but like So the last couple of weeks I've, um, put her back out, so I've been able to walk a lot. And so if I can't walk, she doesn't go on very long walks, right? And my only responsibility is to look after her. And she's looking, and she's so good. Like, I'll be in bed and she'll just stare at me, and I'm like, I'm sorry, I'm not— I'm sorry, I'm not the mother you need right now. I'll call the dog walker and try and get somebody else. But I, I'm so grateful that I've got this thing that loves me, that even if I don't get up and I get up past her breakfast time, she'll still just stay there looking at me like, I love you, Mommy. Mommy, you're my best friend. And I like, I'm so grateful that I have her because I think animals and dogs are amazing. Yeah, I am so grateful to the very few people in my life that I can call in any state of mind and they will listen and they will just listen and they'll calm it down and they'll send me back out. Whether it's good or bad news, they'll do that, um, including my beautiful sister. And I think I'm grateful to fucking— um, I need to act more, but like, I'm grateful to be alive and not in immediate pain or danger. Like, like, I can be depressed and a mess, but I'm, I'm all right. Like, I'm safe. Like, I've got a roof over my head. Like, I've been there where it's terrifying. I've been there where you're like on the edge, and I'm not there now, and I'm grateful for that.

So I'm glad that you said that as well, because a lot of my listeners, like, they often message me and they say, you, you tell me to write 3 things down to be grateful for every single day, and I'm on a day 10, say for example, and I'm struggling. And I'm like, but what have you wrote down so far? And it's like, I'm grateful that I woke up in a bed. And I'm like, but you should be grateful that you woke up at all. Do you know what I mean? Like, every day is the start of a new adventure. And I know that's such a cliché, but do you know what I mean?

But it's not— even if it's not the start of it, I think sometimes if you say every day is the start of a new adventure, it feels pressure because like adventure is that you're doing something and you're active and it's exciting, it's amazing. And actually, all it could be is every day is a start or an opportunity for you to be kinder to yourself today. Okay? Because whatever you're doing is not working, so why don't we try something else? Okay, why don't we try? And I'm just talking— if you— I'm just talking from a position of like somebody that's a bit, you know, sad sack at the moment. So like I'm talking from that position. When things are good, you have different things to be grateful for. But I think there's many, many people— like everyone I speak to at the moment is all going— I don't know, I just feel like maybe because the world's on its axis a bit, it feels just a bit— I don't know about you, Mart, like it just feels a bit unnerving.

Like, yeah, well, we have just come out of a few like planets that were in retrograde and stuff as well, so we're just coming out of the back into that.

Yeah, like, like, I really, like, I'm really feeling it. Like, I'm really feeling it. And it's, it's encouraging, I think, to speak about, because then you go, oh good, it's not just me. Thank God.

Okay. Yeah, yeah, because we're all in the same boat at the end of the day. So yeah, and yeah, I remember hearing, I think it was during the first lockdown as well, that, um, I think it was Lenor, you know, the fabric softener company. Yeah, yeah, they paid you £10,000 to reuse one of their old adverts that you provided the voiceover for. And I also remember that you saying you got house insurance, I think it was just 2 weeks before your house had that huge flood, and you got something like a £40,000 payout, and that it had just come at the right time for you. So do you believe in divine timing, in that everything happens for a reason at that specific time?

Uh, yes, everything happens for a reason at specific time. The payout, you make it sound like it was a great thing. It was £40,000 worth of damage. So my, my whole downside, lost everything I ever owned. So I just bought my first house, my momma just died. I couldn't afford to live in London. She was living in the Midlands at the time. I couldn't afford to keep renting in London because I wasn't working or whatever. I bought this giant dog. I didn't know what I was thinking. I had this mortgage in principle from 6 months ago that was still in, um, still valid, right, from when I did.

Yeah.

And there's a mortgage, I think, for like £250, right? And so I was like, I tried to buy a place for £250 in London, can't get anything. My sister lives in Birmingham. She goes, move to Birmingham. I literally pick it like I was— I was— what, that one? Whatever, I'll take it. It had— it was near— it backed onto a park, so I thought it'd be great for the dog. Buy this house. I take all the things at my mom's house. I take all the old pots and pans, like a sofa, like an old rug, like a TV, computer, laptop, shoes, clothes, show merch, anything. Everything I owned I put on the ground floor of this house. I go out for the day, it's torrential rain. I'm like, hahaha, I haven't seen rain like this forever. It was like godlike, like it was like religious rain. My neighbor calls me and is like, oh, babe, your house is flooded. And I was like, hahaha, hilarious.

Who was your neighbor, Alison Hammond?

Yeah, right. Yeah. Alison calls me, she's like, your house is flooded. Come back, my stuff is floating in the window. I was like, it was 4.5 feet of water, Mart. Like, it was floating. I was like, and at first I was like, hahaha, this is fine, everything will be fine. Then the water comes out, obviously, like everything, because you just think, oh, we'll dry out. Mate, once it's flooded with water, that is also— there's like, like it's dirty water. Yeah. You're never gonna use that rug, that television, that computer, sell that merchandise ever again. So you— I lost that stuff, and then it damaged the wall so much that the walls needed taking out and rebuilding, and the floors. So, God, the only reason there was any saving grace is because the week to the 10 days before, I called my sister and she was like, have you got house insurance? I was like, what do I need house insurance for? And she was like, get house insurance, you dickhead. I was like, fine, because I'm bougie. I was like, I'll get John Lewis house insurance, £400. Yeah. And she was like, you don't need £400 house insurance. I was like, it's the best, so I'll get it. And I got it. I called them 10 days later, uh, can you come down and look around my house, please? They were like, it's £40,000 worth of damage, you've been with us for 10 days. And I was like, but I did pay you £400, so can you help me fix it, please?

That was meant to have happened then, wasn't it?

Like, dude, like, it took them 11 months to pay out. Like, it was a long— it was a shit show. However, I didn't like the house when I bought it. I wanted to do a side return extension. Didn't like the house, didn't like it, and I wasn't happy here anyway. That ex— that, that money, 40 grand, I spent on the side return extension. So I didn't replace anything. I said just take the whole bottom floor out, redo the whole bottom floor. Then with that 40 grand, just take the— redo it all.

Yeah.

And now I've got a beautiful house that I love. And it's funny that I wanted a house that I love. I didn't love it when I had it. I hated the flood. I hated the insurance process. I hated all of it. But I've come out with the most beautiful home that I really am grateful for.

Maybe you manifested the flood.

No, I think my mom did it. I think my mom was like— I think like me and my sister always joke, or like my friend, my we would like— my friend would always joke, my friend knew my mum quite well, and my mum was like super clean and super, um, what's the word, competent at everything she did, just really competent. And me and my sister tried to paint my house maybe 4 times and we kept like, this just looks shit. And we think that mum was just like, what, I can't, just, just kill it, just kill it all, just no, can we just flood, there you go, just wipe this out, she needs professionals, just just get rid of all of this, um, so that then I can have a team to be like, can you paint my house please?

So yeah.

Oh God.

Oh, so speaking of your mom and stuff, what did your childhood look like? Because I know you're one of five, aren't you? So yeah, you went to Catholic schools as well, I believe.

Yeah.

So were you, were you brought up religious then?

Yeah, so my mum, we had to go to church every Sunday. Long, and I hate religion. I, I listen, it brought my mum a lot of peace and she really liked it. I've never liked— I don't like how it's been, um, weaponized, and I don't like how it's been used against people. And I think there's, um, there is so much truth in living true to your heart and, and goodness in people and following that. And the crux of that in every religion is, is beautiful. However, the wars and the killings and the damage that's been done in the so-called religious name, I find abhorrent. And I don't think any, uh, religious leader or, uh, uh, or prophet or symbol or, you know, whoever it is, or Buddha or God or Jesus or whoever it is, I think all of those people were just good people, right? Genuinely good people. And I think we see that in each and every one of us. And I talk about it in my show God Is a Woman, um, which I'm doing in December in London actually. I haven't— like, that show I started before lockdown, and then because of lockdown it felt like I've been doing it for a long time, but I haven't actually done it much at all. Um, but I talk about it in that, that idea of— I think there's a lack of accountability in saying, oh, there's a heaven, like, because actually we could have heaven right here, right now. We absolutely have everything of beauty right here, right now. So this, this idea that, oh, when we die it'll be better, it's just a lack of accountability because there's no reason that it couldn't be lovely now.

Yeah, so yeah, yeah, I get that. So shall we talk about your current UK tour as well? Because 10— obviously it's been 10 years since you first hit the comedy scene, and this tour is a bit of an amalgamation, isn't it, of What Would Beyoncé Do, Am I Right Ladies, Politics for Bitches, and God Is a Woman. So I know basically exactly what I'm getting because I've seen them all, but can you just explain for the listeners what they can expect when they come to see you?

It was an introduction to my stand-up. So I— my stand-up was always important to leave people feeling good about themselves, to feel them excited, to leave them feeling like not afraid to be their authentic selves. And so it was a celebration of being like, bitch, life is hard, but you know what, like, so are you. Like, you got this. Like, so let's just fucking laugh at all our insecurities. Let's mock every insecurity and bullshit hateful narrative that we tell ourselves. Let's just look at it. Let's just break it down for a second. Hang on, this mental behavior— oh, actually, let's break it down. Doesn't make sense. Of course you'd react like that. Don't worry about it. Pat on the back. Let's get you back out of there. And this show is— was basically an introduction to all to people that haven't seen me before. It was, um, it was because I had an Amazon special out this year and a Radio 4 series, and I thought I was going to be much more famous than I am, and I thought there'd be much more demand. For fuck's sake, how hard is it? And so in that, it was the idea just to be like, oh, like, let me reintroduce myself. Like, I've been the comedian that you've been waiting for. Like, I've been around for a long fucking time. You want funny women, mate? This bitch is right here. You want an empowering woman that can do religion, politics, Dick jokes, relationships, mental health, body image. I've been doing it for a long fucking time. I've been doing solo shows for 10 years, but I've been doing comedy for 17, 18. So I was just like, there's a show here for you, you are welcome. This narrative recently, you know, when you see like the Ricky Gervais, um, or the Dave Chappelle criticism on Netflix, and I think these guys are brilliant comics, like they're great comics, like, and they're so funny. But there's become this bigger argument at hand about, oh, who we mock in comedy or who we pick on. And my shows have never been about that. It's, it's always been so inclusive, so welcoming. I've had a huge gay following for a long time from the LGBTQ community, and I've always made sure that people feel so welcome wherever you're from. Like, I prided myself on having girls that were from different backgrounds, different races, different religions in my shows. That's— that's— you might not feel— it used to be the case that, yo, I don't feel safe in a comedy club because if I go into a comedy club, I'm gonna get shit. Yeah, right. I'm gonna get attacked on whatever, and it's a very boys' club. This is when I started, and my shows are like, nah, it's the opposite of that. It's a love fest, but it's fucking hilarious. Yeah.

And you talk about a lot of, like, relevant things as well. Like, one of The funniest things I think that always has me like laughing in stitches was when you were talking about your brother when he took an overdose one night. And I know that doesn't sound funny.

I love how you said that, Mart. That's so funny.

But you know what I mean? Like when he ended up in hospital and then he was lay there and he just turned to you, didn't he? And went, I'm so tired. And you turned around and you were like, you're tired. And it just has me in stitches. Every single time.

But I think in the hardest times it's the funniest. Like, you know, when like somebody dies or a funeral, that's when you laugh so hard because you need it. Like, you need that, you need that other side, don't you? You need it. So it's just saying, look, it's just saying life is hard. The show is a lot of it's going, life is hard, here's some hard situations that I've been through, here's the fucking polar opposite things that you shouldn't say in those situations, but I did.

That's what makes you feel connected to you as a person because you're going through the exact same shit as we are, and that's what makes it relatable.

Yeah, that's what I want. So thank you, that's really cool.

So how did you manage throughout the pandemic then? Because obviously face-to-face shows and all stand-up and theaters, everything like that was closed, wasn't it? So that must have been quite daunting to hear as a comedian that your whole kind of livelihood was now on the line. So how did you cope during those two long years?

It's been very difficult. It's been really difficult for so many of us. Um, I was very lucky that I could do— um, I did some Zoom shows, I started doing live streams every day, and I set up a Patreon. I got some patrons and I had some support from that, um, and that was kind of it. That's why when, as soon as the live scene opened up again, I went straight back to work. Like, I went straight back to trying gig, gig, gig, gig, gig, gig, gig, and put on shows. And, um, that's what I think is quite difficult now, is that all of us little businesses or little independents or people that work for ourselves have come out of this 2-year period where it's been challenging the world opens up and you can start working again and be like, right, let's get back out there. But then everything costs so much more and people don't have the spare cash. So yeah, it's— I won't lie, like, it's— yeah, I'm— it's hard. I'm, I'm nervous about it. Like, I'm, I'm nervous about it. And I think I'll probably go back and like do some more live shows just to make things more affordable, more accessible, um, and stay that connected because we need comedy more than ever. We need it.

So yeah, 100%. And I know you also started your podcast as well. So I think Notes on Tour, for example, got me through so many days.

Like, oh, bless you.

Louisa basically made voice notes on a phone for anyone that wants to listen, and as like, as she was on tour, so she then turned them into a podcast. And honestly, go give them a listen, you'll wet yourself laughing. There's one where like she's trying to get Bernie to have a wee on the side of the M1 or something.

Yeah, yeah, because she was complaining the whole time that she wanted to wee and then she wouldn't go for a wee and it was so annoying. Anyway, but yeah, so funny.

And like I mentioned, I'm also enjoying Podcast for Bitches at the minute too. It's very topical, very like— one's about politics, the next about manifestation. I love that kind of thing. But quite honestly, I think I'm surprised that you've never been on, you know, Taskmaster or 8 Out of 10 Cats, you know, like comedy panel shows, because I just think— I honestly believe in your talent so much. I think you would like really thrive on a show like that.

Thank you. I would love to be on those shows. I think when I first started in comedy, I didn't find panel shows very, um, open to women, and it was very tokenism, and it was very combative, and that wasn't my style of comedy. And I think the problem is, is now maybe I've got that reputation that I don't like doing those shows, or I don't do those shows. And because I represent myself, it's been very hard to keep knocking it— like, I'm knocking on the doors, but it's, um, it's been very difficult. And I think there's, you know, there's lots of comedians out there now, and the market's kind of, you know, getting new people all the time. Um, but yeah, I would love to— I would love the chance to try and get and do more TV. I would absolutely—

I was going to say, because when it comes to like female comedians, it's kind of the same ones over and over again on it. I would tend to catch like Rashida Tlaib, for example. And like, I love Rashida, don't get us wrong. Yeah, and Sarah Millican and things like that. But it's always the same people. Like, they never look for— like, they would always look for fresh male faces but never fresh female faces.

That must be hard. Yeah, it is. Like, it is hard, it is difficult. And I think once you're in there, it's easier to keep it in there, and they kind of go, oh, well, that person's a safe bet, so we'll book them again. That person can handle it, so we'll book them again. And there's that element of it. Um, I can't really say much more of it because I haven't done it, so I don't know. But I would like to try and get in because I do feel like I've been knocking for a long time, and, um, like, I'm good. Like, I'm good. Like, I've got the goods, and I'm willing to. So I think it's just maybe, I don't know, mate, manifesting somebody to be like, yeah, let's book Louisa for this TV show. Thank you.

I think the sky's the limit with you though. I think you'd be perfect doing like sketches, you know, on Saturday Night Live.

Oh mate, I'd love to. I'd love to do all of this. So I've got so many ambitions for my career, and I think that's what's almost held me back a long time for a while, because I wouldn't play that game. Like, I think the UK could be quite limiting. It used to be quite limiting in what you would do. So if you did a comedian the way to do arenas was to do panel shows, but I found panel shows quite competitive, so I didn't do those panel shows. So then you can't get into arenas because people don't go to arenas unless they've heard of you. Yeah, but the only way for them to hear of you is if you do the shows, are the only ones that are commissioned. So it's a bit of a game that you have to play, and I was never good at playing that game. And then if you don't play that game, then you're on the outside of it, and then you're just trying to make yourself in the wilderness, trying to work out how to navigate shit. So yeah. You know, um, I don't have an answer yet. I'm still navigating the wilderness.

I was watching, um, an old episode of Miranda about a week ago actually, uh, you know, with Miranda Hart. Yeah. And you, you suddenly popped up on that as well, stuck on an escalator in a shopping center.

You know what's so funny? Like, I don't get many work opportunities on TV, and then when I do, they're fucking great. So like, I did nothing for years, and then they were like, do you want to do an episode of Miranda? I was like, yes. They were like, it's the Christmas episode, it's the final one. I was like, yes, of course. So that I had a day's filming of that. Yeah, so if I could just manifest more of those magical moments, that would be great. That would be great. Yeah.

So what's next for Louisa then? Do you have a 5-year vision board? What do you want to achieve next? I know you were talking, um, on another interview that I heard you doing about you wanting to do a Netflix series and stuff. What, what, what's your 5-year vision though? What, where would you want to be?

Happy. Just happy. Just happy and supported. I want to feel happy. I want to feel supported. I want to feel like I'm part of a team. I want to feel like my work is valued. Um, I want to feel like it's paid off. Um, I would love to be healthy and to have people around me that I love healthy, and to be in a position where I've got a job that I love and can keep creating content and that people enjoy it and that it helps and that I fulfill I fulfill my purpose and fulfill my potential and not give up. That's what I'd like to— I hope in 5 years I hope I've not given up yet.

That's very wholesome, very lovely to hear as well. So Louisa, how can people find you then? Because I'm going to pop all the links in the show notes as well, but how can people find you?

Just Google Louisa Comedy. If you Google like Louisa, and it's Louisa without an O, so it's L-U-I-S-A, L-U-I-S-A. If you Google Louisa Comedy You'll find me, there's loads of clips online, there's loads of things, there's the show on Amazon, Politics Bitches. But if you can, if you can come and see a live show, I'm telling you, a live show is where it's at. Like, you won't have seen anything like it. Come to a live show.

It is. And like I say, I'm going to pop all those links in the show notes along with a few of my favorite Louisa stand-up videos.

Oh, bless you.

And like I said at the start, if you're in Newcastle next Friday, the 21st of October, come along to the Tyne Theatre Opera House to to see Louisa's show for just £15, and the link for that is in the show notes as well. So yeah, thank you so much for popping by, Louisa, and appearing on the show. I really, really appreciate it.

Thank you so much, Mark. Lovely to speak to you.

And for everyone else listening, go and follow Louisa. If you've enjoyed this episode of the podcast, please submit a quick 5-star review. It really helps this podcast grow new audiences. So yeah, have a lush weekend everyone, and hopefully I'll see you all next Friday at Louisa's gig. Thanks so much for listening, guys. Bye! Come and join me in the Manifest With Mart community. For just £10 a month, you'll get exclusive access to my app and you'll join all the other beautiful souls in the canny community. Where each day you'll be held accountable to making your dreams and desires come to fruition. You'll also be set daily and weekly challenges. There's a chat room built in so you can talk to people in real time, and you can also pop over any questions that you have in the Q&A forum and I'll answer them for you. It's changing people's lives and we've already had so many people manifesting things in the first 2 weeks alone. Each new moon, I'll also be going live within the group on a face-to-face video to help you get the most out of the lunar cycles, as well as answer any burning questions that you have. And these live meetups are so powerful, and everyone in the group has had nothing but praise for the safe space that we share. There are very limited spaces for this community, however, just to ensure that I can place my focus on you and nurture you into the ultimate manifester. So if you'd like a spot, please be quick and reserve your seat now. Head to cannycrystalsacademy.co.uk and choose the Manifest With Mart option, where you can get instant access. And what's more, you'll also get access to all of the past recordings and chats too. Join now and start living the life of your dreams.