114: Boosting self-confidence with self-care

Hello everyone and welcome back to Canny Crystals, the podcast. As you know by now, my name is Mart Tweedyedy, I am your host, and this week was my mum's birthday. Can you believe that it is a year, a year, since I gave her a Canicrystals contract? Can you remember that episode? It was when I took her to see ABBA for her 60th birthday and then I retired her on the train on the way home. Where's this year gone? So this year anyway, being the good little son that I am once again, I decided that I was going to take her and her sisters to the Coronation Street tour in Manchester. Don't get us wrong, I don't watch Corrie. I've never watched it. But personally, I, you know, I just think it's a bit too far-fetched. Like, my mum thinks it's real life, and you know, that people naturally get murdered in the house next door every Christmas, or people always have a baby on New Year's Eve just as the clock strikes midnight. But there we go. This is probably, you know, where all of her worries and her anxieties about real life come from, if I'm honest. So anyway, we got to Manchester on the morning, we had a little look around, you know, the Christmas market, went for some nice food, then we made our way to the ITV Studios. And do you know what, I was pleasantly surprised. It was— it said it was about a 90-minute tour, but it ended up being like 2 hours 15 minutes or something. So I was very pleasantly surprised. It is all an outdoor tour, you don't basically get to like go behind the scenes or anything because all the scenes are like working sets, I think. So they said basically if someone moved something, you know, like it would show up on camera and there'd be incontinuity. So yeah, it was an outdoor tour, but you got to walk down the cobbles, you know, you got to see all the places that you see on the TV. I didn't have a clue what places were, but my mum was like nearly in tears. She couldn't hold back her excitement. And yeah, she said to us afterwards, she was like, you know, I have had one of the best days ever. And I was like, oh, bless her. Coronation Street. Anyway, I can't believe that we are just 3 days from Christmas when this podcast episode goes out. I can't believe it. You know, it really does blow my mind, like I say, how quickly this year has passed. When I think about the start of this year, for me it started out really, really shitty because if you remember, I started the year with pneumonia, which then turned into viral meningitis, which then sent me to hospital because it was so bad.. And when I think about that, although it was 12 months ago, it does feel like ages ago, but it also feels like it was just a blink of an eye away, almost like I've just blinked and I've woke up here in December. I don't know how something can feel so far away but so close as well. But anyway, on New Year's Day at 7 o'clock, you might be aware by now— well, I would hope that you would be aware by now— that I am holding an Achieving Your Goals workshop over at cannycrystalsacademy.co.uk. The link is in me bio, it's on me socials, it's tattooed on me knob. I'll also make sure that it's in the show notes for today's episode as well. But for anyone wanting to attend, just note that there are less than 50 spots remaining, so please, if you are wanting to come, grab a ticket while you can. For this workshop, I've been creating a workbook so that we can all play along in real time as I talk you through it, just to make sure that we make 2024 Our Best Year Yet. And I've taken a leaf out of Fran's book as well, and I've decided to just whack it on Amazon. So although you do actually get the free PDF version for the workshop, you can also buy the printed version from Amazon. I just thought, you know, I have all these journals and I write all my gratitude in one. I've got like all of my, uh, work from Denise Duffield-Thomas's Money Bootcamp in another. I've got my Manifest Money Masterclass work in another. And I just thought I would love just to have a book that, you know, every single year I can put on my shelf and be like, oh, these were my goals for 2024, these were my goals for 2025, and look back at them in like 5, 6 years' time and just see the growth. So I took a leaf out of Fran's book. Like I say, I've whacked it on Amazon. You do get the free PDF version in the workshop when you sign up. But you can also get the printed one from Amazon. The link for that is also in the bio. It's also in the show notes. But if you head to Amazon, you just type the words Achieving Your Goals Mart Tweedy and it'll come up. It's only £6.99. So even if you didn't do the workshop or you didn't want to do the workshop, you could even still do the 12 activities in the book. That works out at like just over 50p per activity. You can live your best life over the next 12 months, however you do it. Whether you attend the workshop, whether you buy the workbook, or whether you do both, it's totally down to you. But anyway, creating this workbook and putting it all together, it's really made me reflect on my 2023, and it's made me reflect on everything that I've managed to achieve in the last 12 months. And when I put my list together, it's fucking wild. It blew my head off. So not only did I start my year with pneumonia, but I was also featured in the first 3 issues of British Vogue. I then launched me academy back in January as well. I so far had over 26,000 people through its virtual doors. I find that absolutely baffling. 26,000 people have come through my academy doors. Um, I got my manifestation of my Range Rover back in March. We started the adoption process of becoming dads in March. I was then asked to speak at Stella McCartney's Pride event about being an LGBTQ business owner. I had a £27,000 order come through from Chanel, meaning that I'd made £30,000 in a day. Um, what else? I manifested a free cruise around the Med with Fran. I had a one-night show for an audience of 800 people at the Barbican in London with Fran. I hired office help, I signed a book deal, I've been nominated for a podcast award, I've been nominated for a business award, and lots, lots more. Honestly, my list is endless. And when I looked at this, I was thinking to myself, you know, I never ever sit back and smell the roses. And I think that's something that I'm definitely going to do more of in 2024. I'm even going to schedule like a little half an hour to an hour meeting with myself at the back end of every month just to hold myself accountable. What have I achieved in the last month? What am I achieving in the month ahead? Just to keep myself on track. Because when I think back at this time last year, I had no idea what I wanted to do in the following 12 months. Like, literally, I had no clue which direction I wanted to go in. I always say this, I'm very good at winging it, I'm not very good at strategy. And I keep on thinking to myself, like, If I had manifested all of this just by winging it, just by going with the flow, where would I have actually been, like, now, if I'd have actually been strategic and laser-focused in the last year? Because procrastination has been one of my worst traits this year. I'm getting over it right now, but I partly think I procrastinate because I don't have a clear vision for what I'm trying to achieve. And when we don't have that clear vision, we just do odd tasks here and there, but then it doesn't look like it's amounted to anything. So we're like, oh well, I'll just do this instead. And that's why we get so easily distracted. For example, I might set an alarm to remind me to go and post something on Instagram. So me alarm will go off, I'll open me phone to go and post something, I'll see an email, I'll end up responding to that email, I'll then end up checking other stuff in emails, then I'll be like, oh, have I got this on the online store? Oh, what's the stock levels like on my website? Then I'll see a WhatsApp, then I'll get into a group conversation, and before I know it, an hour or two has passed and I realize that I still haven't posted that original bloody thing that I went on Instagram for in the first place. So getting clear on my goals for 2024 has been my priority this week. You might have seen that I did a big A2 planner. I got this big A2 sheet that I printed out and I split it into 12 equal parts listed from, you know, January down to December. And I just thought I'm going to put my priorities in here so that I can then work backwards. And I've just put on there, you know, everything that I want to achieve in the next year. And it is wild looking forward because some of the stuff that I've got on there, I'm thinking, nah, I can't achieve that, but I'm gonna, and I know I am because I've held myself accountable. I've wrote it down. So Jude, my life coach, she even kindly offered me a session, a sit down with her and go through me list. So the night before we actually met, I made two lists, one with all of me business goals for 2024 and one with all of my personal goals. And when I counted them up, I had about 40 business goals and about 10 personal goals. And I just knew that this would put a bit too much pressure on meself. That's 50 goals to achieve in a year. That's literally one per week, and that's without any of the actions that lead up to each of the goals. That's without having a kid, you know, that's without like trying to have a social life and trying to put me health first. So I had to simplify it massively, and I reduced it down to 10 business goals and 4 personal goals because I thought that is achievable. It's just over one goal per month on average. So the main themes that I left on my personal goals were all around health. For 2024, my motto is going to be health is wealth. I love that saying. I just think it rings so true with what I want to achieve for 2024. So I suddenly started thinking of, you know, all the different ways that I could enhance me self-care. So earlier this year, I upgraded me vitamins, for example, I started using a nicer shower wash. I started using a bit of a nicer shampoo. Just to slightly upgrade your life. If you've done me Manifesting Money Masterclass, you will know all about little incremental upgrades. And I keep on coming back to what Denise DaPhil Thomas says, which is, "My face is my fortune." Because I need to really look after my health and wellness because if I don't, I find that I'm inconsistent with showing up on social media. Like, if I have a skin breakout or I feel particularly large one day, or, you know, my skin looks quite dry, I just won't show up on social media that day. And to be really honest and open with you all, I'm saying this mainly for accountability, but I am the heaviest that I have ever been right now in my life. I remember at the start of last year I got my weight down at just under 13 stone, and I felt amazing for it. And I remember getting Johnny these scales a couple of Christmases ago where you can sync it up with your phone. And when you stand on it barefoot, it tells you your BMI, it tells you your bone composition. Like it tells you all the, all the stupid measurements that mean absolutely nothing basically. But it told us, and it tracks it on a graph, that when I got on the scales last week, that I was the exact same weight as I was at the start of January 2022. So coming up 2 years in a couple of weeks' time, I am the exact same weight as then. I lost 2 stone last January in 2022, and I'm back to the same weight. So I know I need to do something because it is starting to affect me mentally. So the night after I listed my personal and business goals, I thought, I'm going to have a bath for a bit of self-care. I'm going to light some candles. I'm gonna pop a face mask on, I'm gonna put me weight loss subliminal on, I'm just gonna grab a few crystals for motivation and determination, you know, like tiger's eye, opalite, clear quartz. And I was just visualizing how good I will feel this time next year at my optimal weight. And I was thinking, how can I motivate myself to basically be that laser focused on my health and wellness and just to have those as a heart of everything that I do in 2024? As my goals as a whole. And I spent a good hour in the bath after this, just soaking it all up. And the next day, it was so weird because I had two messages. One was from Scott Lester Woods, the hypnotherapist that I had on the podcast a couple of episodes ago, and another was from a collagen health and wellness brand. So the first message that I got was from Scott, and he was asking if I'd like a hypnotherapy session to basically look into some of my limiting beliefs and just to rewrite that narrative that I was telling myself within. So I booked in with him, and just the other day I had a really amazing session over Zoom with him. It lasted about an hour, and it was very odd. So it started with 25 minutes of me telling him the story that I was telling myself, you know, that I'm too fat and lazy, I don't have time to eat healthily, I don't have time to exercise because all I do is work. And I told him, you know, that I don't feel like a lazy person because I work 12 to 14 hours a day in my business. But when it comes to motivation to do with exercise, I just can't be bothered because I don't enjoy it as much. I know that once I get in the gym, I love it, but getting me to that gym, that's a whole other ball game. So I'm very, very lazy when it comes to, you know, getting excited to go to the gym. It just doesn't excite me as much as the business does, for example. Anyway, I also said to him that my self-esteem and my self-care was now at an all-time low. And this was having a knock-on effect with every other part of me life, as it does. So with all this in mind, Scott had me hold up one hand and stare at the back of it, and he was repeating these statements, and my eyes just felt so heavy. And before I knew it, I just heard him say, welcome back, and I opened my eyes and it was now 2 o'clock. 35 minutes had passed. I honestly couldn't believe it. He said that I'd responded really well to the hypnotherapy And you know, when he was asking me about the statements that I said in the beginning of the session, they had now totally fizzled out. He was asking me to rate them on a scale of 1 to 10. Initially, I was rating everything like an 8 or a 9, and afterwards I was rating things like a 2 or a 3. I was like, why am I even bothered about that? I can't work out how he did it, but it was like he waved a magic wand over us and cured us within minutes. It was a fantastic experience anyway. And that same afternoon, I don't know what came over us, but I got on the Peloton and I did a couple of spinning classes. I then went out and did a healthy food shop the next day. And that evening as well, I remember I'd rejoined the gym. So we've got this new gym in the Metro Centre, which is like a big shopping centre in Gateshead, just over the river from where I live. And they've opened up this huge gym and I went on and it was a £1 signing up fee. And the first 3 months, um, you got for like £30 or something. So I'm paying like £31 until the start of April, and then it's only £30 a month. And I was like, that is such a good deal. So I just rejoined the gym. I haven't been to a proper gym in about a year because I've just been on the Peloton. But the hypnotherapy really, really just inspired me and motivated me to do this. So I've ordered myself some new gym clothes. I'm waiting for them to come. Because all me others don't fit. I just feel frumpy in them, and I don't want to turn up to a gym and feel frumpy and feel out of place because that's going to put a bit more resistance on me actually showing up in the gym. And I also want to get in there maybe in the next week or so because I would have high anxiety if I got— went over in January and there was like loads of new people there. And, you know, just walking around trying to find your way around things when the gym is as rammed as it usually is in January, uh, with everyone rejoining, because, you know, new year, new me. But yeah, I feel like a new woman. So thank you, Scott, if you're listening. Um, you totally changed my mindset in such a short amount of time. I honestly feel ready to take on 2024 and hit the gym and healthy eating like never before. And then, like I said, I had two messages. So the second message that I got that morning was from a collagen health and wellness brand called Modere. And they basically wanted to know if I would like to promote their products on their website to, you know, my podcast listeners or Instagram followers with a 15% discount. So I was like, yeah, of course, on one condition: they're good products. So I had a look on their website and they've won a shit ton of awards, they have amazing reviews. So I chose around £400 worth of products from their website and I thought, you know, I've got a kid on the way, I never treat meself. Start as you mean to go on. The most I would have ever spent on skincare would probably have been about £5, and that was just a little pot of Nivea cream or something every now and again in with the food shopping. So this was kind of a real treat to meself. I mean, I need to get rid of these bags under me eyes before this kid comes, Jesus Christ. So not only did I get some creams, I also got some collagen drinks that support the normal function of the intestinal tract too. Kind of cleanse your insides as well. So when I say cleanse me insides, I don't mean that it's going to make a shit myself because I don't need any help with that, thank you very much. Um, I just mean that it'll give my digestive system a bit of a makeover from the inside out. I don't know if you'll all be aware of collagen, but it's something that I've been recently looking into because of this company. And in a nutshell, visible signs of aging can result from natural wear and tear of the body particularly in areas where collagen is essential. So collagen is the most abundant protein found in the skin. Not giving you a science lesson here, but it really, really helps to, you know, keep your skin firm and resilient. Because as we age, the body's production of collagen then declines. So many people kind of benefit from a daily top-up in ways of skincare, creams, these drinks, vitamins, all that jazz. And I must say, it is very early days because I didn't want to rant and rave about this until I'd like trialed it for myself and seen the visible results on myself, because I do get sent creams, vitamins, stuff like that all the time, but nothing seems to like make any difference. Like, the only skincare that I found so far was LumiGlow that I actually enjoyed, that suited my skin type. So anyway, like I say, it is very, very early days, but these creams, these vitamins, and these drinks, I've had them for just over a week now And I don't know if it's related, but when I took my mum out on her birthday the other day, the coronation suite, we were sat on the train and she went, how do you get your skin so soft? And I said, what do you mean? She says, well, you haven't got a bloody wrinkle on you. And I was like, well, might be to do with a little bit of Botox, but you know, I've been using this collagen brand. And she was like, what the hell is that? And she didn't understand, so I was explaining it to her. And I don't know if it's also related as well, but my psoriasis has totally cleared up on my scalp and my face. My mom said that my skin looked like it was absolutely glowing. That isn't like her. My skin, my nails, and my hair actually feel brand new. So I don't know if that's to do with the collagen. I'm going to look into it a bit more, but I'm going into 2024 a brand new me. Anyway, they did mention to take photos in good lighting on day 1 and then again every week following starting on these. And like any skincare brand, they tell you to do this for 12 weeks, but I'm gonna try it for 4 weeks and see what I see what difference it is, because it's pointless doing something for 3 months if you don't see an improvement. They did mention to take photos though, like I say. So when I've looked at the photos this morning, I can actually see visible difference in just 1 week. I'm going to upload these photos to my story, so if you want to have a look at them, go and follow me on Instagram. I am @cannycrystals. You can all see the progress. I'll post a, like, a follow-up every week, and you can then follow along on this little journey. So if you want to take a look at this brand, like I said, there's a 15% discount. I think you just have to go through my referral code. I'll put that in the show notes as well underneath this episode. I'll also put it on the Instagram story of where I share the before and afters as well. So on the back of all this, especially as it's Christmas, so many of us will, you know, we'll just be too busy and we'll omit our self-care routines over the next couple of weeks. We'll probably overindulge in things that aren't amazing for our bodies, you know, like chocolate, overeating, alcohol. So self-care routines involving skincare products and vitamins and just generic wellness practices, they can contribute to our well-being in so many ways. And taking care of ourselves physically, that often impacts our mental and our emotional state positively. I'm not saying that these routines will directly manifest our desires, but with all that said, they can then create an environment that supports our goals in various ways. So proper skincare and nutrition contribute to overall physical health, and like I mentioned earlier, when we feel healthy, we have more energy, we have more vitality to pursue our desires, and that can lead to increased productivity, determination, focus, and motivation. And that's everything that I've been lacking myself in the last few weeks. When we take care of our skin and our body, it often results in an improved appearance, and then that's going to boost our self-confidence and our self-esteem. So confidence is an essential element in pursuing and achieving our goals. You know that when you're more confident about a situation, you're more likely to succeed in that situation. So engaging in self-care routines can really strengthen the body-mind connection as well. Feeling good physically, that often translates to feeling better mentally and emotionally. And we know that we can create a positive mindset that is conducive to manifesting our desires once we're in that mindset. But taking time for self-care can also reduce stress levels. So lower stress levels, that's going to help us focus better on our goals and be more effective in achieving what we want in life. Establishing self-care routines, that requires consistency and discipline. But when we start doing something ritualistically, over time these qualities can then spill over into other aspects of our lives, like helping us stay committed to our desires and our goals as well. Engaging in self-care, that often encourages the development of healthy habits. And when we cultivate healthy habits, that often leads to a more balanced lifestyle. That often then supports us in achieving our goals. So feeling good physically and mentally, that often puts us in a better position to pursue our aspirations with clarity, focus, and determination. I almost feel like my body was calling out for self-care and that I've subconsciously manifested these two messages coming through to us from Scott and from the skincare brand. I really do. So have a think about your self-care routine before we get into this busyness of Christmas. Have a think about what your self-care routine involves. What can you do to make yourself feel better, not just on the outside but on the inside as well? Because feeling good on the inside is going to help you show up better on the outside as well. So if anyone is interested in having a look at those collagen products, like I say, I'll put the link in the show notes and on my story. Right, just a couple of things to mention before we finish this episode. I have an adoption update, but I don't want to jinx anything, so I can't say anything. So I don't really have an adoption update. I don't even know why I'm telling you, but believe me, this time next month, I will probably be releasing the greatest manifestation podcast story that I have ever told. If this comes up, you can probably guess if you're a frequent listener of the show, but watch this space because I'm about to be a daddy. And the last thing, the next new episode of What a Nightmare, my off-topic podcast, is out right now. There are now 7 episodes. They're all just 10 to 20 minutes long, so nothing majorly daunting to listen to. So if you just fancy, you know, a bit of a laugh, go and listen to it. And guess what? It's gone to number 1 in the Cayman Islands in the category of personal journals. I find that so friggin' weird. Who's listening to me in the Cayman Islands? Anyway, don't listen if you're easily offended. Don't listen if you don't like swearing. It is an off-topic podcast. It has nothing to do with the law of attraction or manifestation. It's just everything to do with scandal, debauchery, and my general life dramas. So go and have a listen if you're not listening already. Just type the words 'What a Nightmare' in your podcast streaming app and listen to it. And that is it. Thank you for being here for yet another Christmas. I can't believe that this is our third Christmas together on this podcast. Where the year's gone, honestly. I hope that you all have a calm and peaceful Christmas, however you choose to spend it, whether that be with loved ones, friends, family, or even if you just want to be on your own like me. This year Johnny is away to Northern Ireland to see his family, so I'm spending Christmas Day at me mam's in Durham, and then on Christmas Day evening I'm just going to come home and I'm just going to be on my own until Johnny gets back on the 28th. But that's the way I want it. I just want a peaceful and calm few days over Christmas because next year there'll be toys everywhere, there'll probably be a kid or two screaming away, so I'm just going to bask in the ambience of just me and my baby dog watching trash TV on the couch. I might even get to chill for an hour or so. So yeah, have an amazing time. I will see you all next Friday for another episode of Cani Crystals the podcast. Have a beautiful Christmas everyone, bye!