129: Exploring your shadow self

Hello everyone and welcome back to another episode of Canny Crystals, the podcast. I hope that you're all well. Has anyone else been feeling this you know, really intense lunar energy from the moon this week. OMG, it's hitting me hard. There has been a lunar eclipse, yes, but next week there is also going to be a solar eclipse. So if you're in a different part of the world from the UK, because we're not lucky enough to see it, you will also see a solar eclipse. We are currently also in Mercury retrograde as well, and I think that's got a lot to speak for everything that's been happening to me in the last week. So So a lunar eclipse occurs when the Earth aligns between the Sun and the Moon, and that creates a shadow over the Moon. So astrologically speaking, lunar eclipses are these times of deep emotional revelations and transformations. So it's an amazing time right now to be using Moldavite, for example. But they can bring endings or culmination points, and that's going to urge us to let go of what no longer serves our growth. And the energy of a lunar eclipse is often described as quite intense, quite emotional, and a time for reflection as well. And that's everything that I've been doing in this last week. It's also believed to reveal hidden truths and aspects of ourselves in our lives that we need to address. And Mercury retrograde, on the other hand, that occurs when the planet Mercury appears to kind of be moving backwards in its orbit from our perspective on Earth. So So it's associated with communication, travel, technology, and kind of information errors. So it's a time for reflection as well, so revisiting past projects or relationships rather than starting new initiatives. And this energy is often described as being quite disruptive, forcing us to slow down, pay more attention to the details. So I think that I've been hit so hard with this Mercury retrograde energy this last week because Just to put it into perspective, last Friday Francesca Amber from Law of Attraction Changed My Life— we love Fran— she did a podcast episode all about Moldavite, and in it she mentioned little old me and cannycrystals.co.uk. Well, within I think it was about 6 hours, I had completely, and I mean completely, sold out of the 97 pieces of Moldavite that I had in stock, as well as all my Moldavite earrings, all my moldavite pendants, my rings, any other pieces of jewelry that I had with moldavite in it, which is a great problem to have, but it had to be on bank holiday on Good Friday, didn't it? Oh, anyway, it's all restocked now, so go and fill your boots if you missed out. By the time this episode comes out, you might have missed it again, but go and check it out anyway at cannycrystals.co.uk. Use the word podcast at checkout for 10% off as well. Um, but yeah, anyway, I woke up Friday morning to my website design girl in California California, so there's a massive time difference there. She had messaged me to say that my new look website for the academy was all up and running and she was now off to bed. Hooray! At first look, I thought, oh my God, this is amazing. This is everything that I dreamed of. This is what I thought the academy would look like when I first set it up. And so I sent out an email to my entire newsletter list on the academy with a 50% off code and I just went and jumped in the shower and I thought, amazing, might get some new people signed up to courses, workshops, membership, whatever. By the time I got out the shower, I had over 100 emails. I thought there was a fault with my phone, if I'm totally honest with you, when I looked down at my iPhone and I was like, 106 emails, what? No way. But it was you lovely lot telling me that none of the links on the website were working. Ah! So This took me a good 90 minutes or so, I think, to relink everything and then send out another email to say that it had all been fixed. And I just thought, this is bloody Mercury retrograde all over. So anyway, I went about the rest of me day. We went down the beach, we had a lovely little walk with our friend, went for fish and chips because it was Good Friday. It's just tradition, isn't it? You have to do fish and chips on Good Friday. So I headed down the office when I got back, it was just after lunchtime, and honestly, I couldn't pack Moldavite orders as quick as they were coming in. So I would get like 10 down off my list, and I would look on the list of like orders that had come through, and there was like another 15 on top. So as I was printing out shipping labels for the front of the packages, you know what I put on the boxes, on the envelopes and everything like that, me label printer just suddenly stopped working. Honestly, I thought my hair was going to drop out there and then. It was printing all of the bottoms of the labels but not the top, so it didn't have anyone's addresses on or anything. So I was just sat in the office, there was nobody else around because it's Good Friday. Which other losers work bank holiday? Put your hands up. Um, and I just started flapping thinking, I'm not going to be able to post anything in one of my busiest periods ever. I was on the verge of a mental breakdown, if I'm totally honest. Um, but yeah, I was on the verge of just buying another label printer, if I'm totally honest, but they're quite expensive. So I was on the phone to customer support to try everything that they were suggesting first, just to make sure that, you know, I wasn't going to be wasting me money on something that I didn't really need to buy. And whilst I was on the call to them, me phone decided to just completely restart itself and do a software update. So I had to sit there for about 35 minutes waiting for my phone to come back on. When it eventually came back on, I then had to sit on hold to the customer support team again for another 15 minutes before I got through to anyone. Just to continue that troubleshooting. Oh my God. Anyway, I eventually got it sorted. I got about halfway through the orders and had, I think it was just short of 200 parcels. I think there was 197. For some reason that number's ringing in my head. So there was 197 parcels to be collected by Royal Mail on the Saturday morning. It was wild. Our reception area was flooded with parcels. I mean, the last time it looked that busy, I think probably would have been when I was doing my advent calendars, my crystal advent calendars, because there were so many of them as well. But yeah, it was wild. Royal Mail's website went down, and then so instead of me being able to automatically book all me parcels for collection, I had to go into their website and type them all in manually one by one, which for all parcels took me an additional 2 hours. Honestly, I was demented, but I got through them all, and I think I got home on that bank holiday Friday at about 9 PM., and I just thought, oh, I need to lie down. I had such a pain across my shoulders, you know, with tension and stuff like that. So I woke up on the Saturday, which was also 3 years of Cani Crystals, by the way, and my 37th birthday. Thank you. And at 7 AM, I went down my office to open the main front doors just so the postman could let himself in. He could grab the parcels and get in his little red van, go and take them all to the sorting office for delivery. So once I'd opened me office door, like the communal reception area, I went back home. And as a family, we all went out for a nice big, like, birthday walk in the morning sunshine. It was absolutely bliss. I felt so chilled, so zen, until we got back to the car and I looked at me phone and I saw that I had about 20 emails from Royal Mail for every single collection stating that they were unable to collect any of me parcels because nobody was at the property when they called. Now bearing in mind I do this every single Saturday morning, I knew something was up. So I dropped everyone back at the house and I headed down the office to find that all my parcels were indeed still there, sat in reception. Some of them were next-day delivery as well, some of them were speedy delivery, so I knew that I had to get them to a post office ASAP basically. So picture this, it's now about 1 PM on my birthday and there I am carton, 6 of those huge grey Royal Mail sacks filled with crystals, to my car to then drive around and drop off a sack at every single post office in the Newcastle area that I could find to ensure that they all got scanned in time. It was chaotic, to say the very least. Anyway, to cut a long story short, I did it, I managed. And on the Sunday, I went down the office to pack the remainder of the orders and all the newer ones that had come in as well. And I did this on the Monday as well, so bank holiday Monday I was down and Royal Mail's website went down again. So there I was again putting in another 200 parcels onto collection manually. It was a nightmare if I'm honest. But I got a text on Tuesday morning anyway from our office manager for the building and she said that the postman had come in, he took one look at all the parcels and said that he couldn't take them because they weren't on his collection device. But I had all the confirmation emails. So he then said that his van wasn't big enough and off he left without taking a single parcel. What on earth? If anyone's listening from Royal Mail, I've got in a complaint about you. So this whole situation basically left me beside myself. So I took matters into my own hands and I went on Evri's website, I bought all 200 labels again, I requested refunds on all the Royal Mail ones, and I headed to my local Evri drop-off shop, who seemed, to be honest, quite buzzing to get the business, if I'm honest. So they all got sent out in the time frame that I stated on the website anyway. So phew. But I'll be honest, it was a lot of stress. But going forward, I am now going to be using Evri. It's an easier system. Royal Mail have royally pissed me off— pardon the pun there— and Evri deliver a lot quicker as well. So if you do order from me in the future, don't be surprised if you see an Evri email. It's going to be a better service. I know it is. But it's madness too, because when I looked at how much money I'd spent with Royal Mail over the last 12 months. Get this, it was £79,000. £79,000. Royal Mail are dead to me, ladies and gentlemen. So yeah, maybe all of that stress and all of that technology going down, you know, with the websites and stuff like that, maybe that was all Mercury retrograde. Maybe it was the chaotic lunar eclipse energy. Maybe someone was just playing a prank on me for my birthday. Who knows? Anyway, enough about me. How are you? Thanks for listening. Rant over. Thank you for all of your lovely comments and feedback about last week's episode, all about how to utilize crystals for manifestation. You lot seem to really, really connect with that episode, so thank you so, so much for listening. And this week I was wanting to talk about something that links in quite well with Mercury retrograde, actually, and that's exploring your shadow self and how when we do this, we discover more about ourselves than we feel we knew before. So let's take it back. Like, what do I mean when I say shadow self? I feel like I can see all the vacant expressions on your faces even though this is just audio. I don't mean there's a literal shadow person following you around or anything like that, so don't be freaked out. But diving deep into the shadow self, that's going to open up quite a fascinating pathway to personal growth and self-discovery, which is both challenging but also incredibly rewarding as well. So the journey into understanding and integrating our shadow self, that's rooted in the work of Carl Jung, who was a Swiss psychiatrist, and he first introduced the idea of the shadow back in the early 1900s. So I read a book by him a few years ago. I think it might have been even before I started on my spiritual journey, come to think of it. It's called, uh, what's it called, Wounded Healer of the Soul. So The shadow consists of these parts of ourselves that we often try to hide or deny. So this might be feelings, desires, any thoughts that we consider unacceptable or even at odds with our preferred image of ourselves. So everything that we kind of keep to ourselves in our head. So these can range from all those common human emotions, you know, like envy or rage, to deeper unacknowledged dreams or even unexpected talents and gifts that we might have locked deep down inside. So when we explore the shadow self, it's not just about acknowledging our darker side, but also about uncovering all of that potential and all of that strengths that we've been oblivious to. Because our shadow can wake us up to not just negative traits, but also all the lost opportunities, the unexplored talents, and any unfulfilled dreams as well. And it's these aspects that often get sidelined during our upbringing. Or, you know, due to societal pressures. And that's going to leave a treasure trove of potential locked away in our unconscious for us to discover. So you might all be thinking, well, you know, why would I engage with the shadow self of mine if it's going to stir up all this commotion? So the journey in understanding our shadow, it's essential. Okay, it's essential for many reasons. It's a vital step towards holistic self-awareness and authenticity., and that's going to lead to a more balanced and enriched life. So when we engage with our shadow, that's going to allow us to recognize and break free from any repeated patterns or behaviors that are hindering our growth in our relationships. So it's basically offering us a pathway to genuine self-acceptance, because, you know, if we're hiding things about ourselves, if we are hiding them and locking them deep within, how can we ever genuinely be like accepting of ourselves? Does that make sense? Because that in turn is going to open the door to deeper compassion for ourselves and other people as well. So there are many things that you more than likely already do that can help you connect with your shadow. And I don't know if you listen back to— what was the episode I did? It was a few months ago now. It was about connecting with your inner child. So it's quite similar to that kind of work. So the first way is through journaling and self-reflection. So it's a powerful tool for shadow work, writing down your thoughts, because this is going to help in surfacing all those thoughts and feelings that are usually brushed under the carpet. So it can be like holding up a reflective mirror, you know, revealing all those hidden aspects of our personality. Another way is through mindfulness and meditation. So these practices encourage a non-judgmental awareness of the present moment and that helps us to observe that inner landscape without criticism. And it's that awareness that's the first step in acknowledging and eventually integrating the aspects of our shadow. And then there's some dream work as well. So our dreams serve as a direct line to our unconscious, you know, that's where our shadow resides. So when we analyze our dreams, that can offer all these different insights into our deeper selves, and that's going to reveal these hidden fears, desires, an aspect of our personality. So right now in retrograde and eclipse season, you might be having some pretty wild dreams. But if you do some digging into what that means for you, you know, Google is your best friend, it might even be revealing something that you're trying to hide in that shadow. Now, this last couple of weeks, I'd say I've had some wild dreams. And when I say wild, I mean to the point that I've actually woke up, sat upright in bed screaming. It's that wild. And I don't know if it's to do with everything that's going on with me in my personal life right now or if it is to do with Mercury retrograde and the lunar eclipse. But yeah, try and do some digging as to what your specific dreams mean, because dream analysis is really going to highlight and shine a light on all of the dark parts of your inner self. Some other ways to work through this is through therapeutic guidance as well. So you can even get shadow work therapists, and they can provide a safe and supportive space for shadow work They can also offer you professional insights and help navigate, you know, all those emotions that we've tucked down deep inside of us. But something that I find most helpful when doing shadow work is through creative expression. So art, music, writing, because they're not just outlets for creativity but also for exploring the inner self. And these practices can help us to articulate and explore parts of our shadow that might have been difficult to express in words, because some of us aren't that great in expressing ourselves in words. Like, I struggle from time to time. You wouldn't think it the way I blab on on this podcast, but sometimes I really do struggle to express myself. So that creative expression really does help me out. Engaging in shadow work isn't without its rewards, though. It leads to such a transformation, and that's going to enrich our lives by acknowledging and accepting the full range of our experience and emotions. We're then going to foster a deeper sense of compassion and acceptance, like I mentioned earlier. And understanding our shadow can help us to see the projections that we place on others as well. That's going to lead to more honest and fulfilling connections with other people. Embracing our shadow can unlock creative energies and potentials that were previously suppressed. That's going to enrich our personal and professional lives. And shadow work can be such a pathway to healing. That's going to allow us to face and integrate all of our painful memories that we have, because we all have them. All these painful experiences that have happened to us in the past, it's going to express all of those and integrate them in a supportive environment. It's important though that we recognize that shadow work can be demanding and emotionally draining because it requires us to confront all of these parts of ourselves that we might not be comfortable with. Or, you know, we might not even be ready to accept. So, you know, one of the things that I'll use as an example is in my early teens, some of my shadow work would have been, you know, trying to deal with the fact that I knew I was gay but nobody else did. I mean, I think deep down everyone pretty much knew apart from me that I was gay, but does that make sense? It was kind of a part of me that I tucked away, and, you know, I, I just had a problem with, and it caused me a lot of trauma, a lot of emotional stress trying to keep it as a secret. And it was uncomfortable for me because I wasn't ready to accept it. So the shadow journey as a whole requires that patience. It requires having self-compassion for yourself, and when needed, you might even need a bit of guidance to navigate through those rocky waves of that inner world inside of us. So it's all about the journey towards understanding the entirety of who we are, both the light, which is, you know, who we show up on a daily basis as, and the dark, which is the person that we are trying to keep hidden. It's like the seen and the unseen. So we've got the light, which is who we show up as on a daily basis, and the dark. So that's everything that we keep hidden. So it's about recognizing and embracing every single facet of our being, transforming our relationship with ourselves and the world around us. So there are a few ways that we can acknowledge and work with that shadow self. So the first step, I think, is becoming aware of your shadow self. So just notice when you're projecting your negative traits onto other people. Notice when you're feeling that irrational anger or even experiencing like intense reactions to certain people or situations. So these can all be clues pointing towards your shadow. The way that we can work with it is by having self-compassion. So approach your shadow aspects with compassion rather than judgment, and understand that these parts of you, they've been developed to protect you, or they grew as a result of your environment and your experiences to guard you. Does that make sense? Some people also find it helpful to have an inner dialogue with their shadow aspect. So you might want to have a bit of a conversation with it. I know you might look a bit of a nut job talking away to yourself, but it does help. So ask them what they need, or, you know, what they're protecting you from, because that can lead to some important insights and that emotional release as well. Some people even go as far as creating personal rituals, and that symbolizes the acceptance and integration of their shadow selves. So they might, you know, write letters to their shadow aspects or even visualize them both meeting, you know, the dark and the light. Visualize them as two entities inside your head. Through shadow work, you can achieve a greater understanding of not just yourself but of other people as well. And like I said, that's going to lead to improved relationships and a bit of emotional intelligence as well. Shadow work isn't a one-time task though, so just like everything with the Law of Attraction, consistency is key. It's an ongoing process. So regular reflection on your thoughts, your feelings, and your behaviors can all help you stay in tune with your inner world, because ultimately the goal isn't to eliminate the shadow, but it's just to find balance and harmony between all parts of your psyche. Now, if I ask you to think of the yin and yang symbol, do you know what that is? It's like a black and white circle. You know, you'll have seen it. It looks like there's a black apostrophe with a white dot in it, and then a white apostrophe with a black dot in it. That's kind of what it looks like. That symbol represents balance, balance of dark and light. There's a bit of dark in the light, there's a bit of light in the dark, and they work harmoniously to form that perfect circle. That's what this is, okay? It's asking you to not eliminate it and have it all white or have it all black, but to find that balance and that harmony inside of you. So it's asking you to acknowledge that being human, it does involve quite complex experiences. So shadow work exercises, they focus on helping a person bring into the light that which was previously hidden in the dark. So if you're wanting to get involved with this, you could even grab your journal and a pen right now. You could answer questions such as, um, what things do you most fear about people discovering about you? So what things do you most fear other people discovering about you? You could ask yourself, do you ever feel shame? And if so, why? What are your biggest triggers? Where do you feel they come from? What are your negative self-images or thoughts about yourself? When you're very angry at other people, what things do you think about them? And you could even ask yourself something along the lines of, what do your recent dreams tell you about your fears? So by asking yourself these different journal prompts, you're practicing compassion. You're bringing all of that hidden darkness into the light. So like I mentioned earlier, it can be quite emotional to people. It can be quite triggering. It can be mentally exhausting bringing it all up for you. But trust me when I say this, once you've worked through it and you've brought all of those feelings up into the light, it won't seem half as bad. And you know what happens when we've got that mindset that feels empowered and feels like it has meaning and identity and hope for the future? Everything else doesn't seem half as bad. Your shadow side can have quite a negative impact on your well-being, especially your mental well-being, when you ignore or reject it. So if we just sat back and thought, uh, not gonna bother this week with me shadow self, that's gonna have a bit of a toll on your mental well-being. This part of yourself just craves to be understood and explored, and this is because it's been ignored or possibly shamed throughout your life. So that's why it's hiding in the shadows. Even if it was less dramatic, we don't feel mentally and emotionally at our best when our shadow isn't integrated into our lives. So when we ignore it, our shadow will always find ways to make you aware that it exists, and they can lead to issues like, you know, poor self-esteem, low self-esteem, deceiving other people, anxiety and depression, offensive behavior towards other people, struggling to have healthy relationships with others. We can also self-sabotage. There could be a bit of self-absorption going on. We could even have an inflated ego. When you reject your shadow, you might also start projecting onto other people. So projection happens when you see things in others that you subconsciously recognize within yourself. So these parts can make you really, really uncomfortable, and as a result, you might start to judge or punish other people who reflect those specific traits as well. So to start on shadow work, it's really important to try and spot your inner shadow first. And to do this, like I say, you can start by spotting habits that you might have. So habits can be good, but they can also be bad. So what patterns do you tend to replicate repeatedly in your life? That you feel are holding you back. You should also pay attention to your triggers to spot your shadow as well, because triggers remind you of past trauma, and that's usually associated with your shadow. So those triggers are messages to help you realize your shadow wants to be seen. And finally, you can also spot your shadow by noticing yourself projecting to others. So one way you can do this is by using that mirror technique. You know, it can be uncomfortable at first. However, it can allow you to uncover why your shadow self really is the way it is. So to practice the mirror technique, just pay attention to how you think and feel when you interact with other people. So if you're having a conversation with someone, just really, while they're talking, still pay attention to them, but also pay attention to how you think and feel when you're talking to them. And when negative feelings come up, maybe just ask yourself afterwards if you might be projecting. So here's an example. Let's say that you're talking to a friend and they start talking over you and you can't get a word in edgeways. You are really struggling to get any words in. You might start to judge that behavior and you might get a bit upset or a bit, you know, uptight or something like that. But perhaps this could just be a projection of the shame that you feel when you want to speak up and you don't speak up. Does that make sense? This is very much like limiting belief work, so it'll all stem from somewhere. So think back to your childhood when you explore your shadow. Explore, you know, what parts of you might have been treated as bad or lesser when you were a child. Which emotions were you punished for having as a child? Because many children get told to, you know, in inverted commas, get over their anger or sadness, and as a result, these emotions get repressed. We grow up believing that they're bad emotions and that we were bad for having them. So avoid shaming or even being ashamed of your shadow. It's there to help you at the end of the day, okay? Some people might say that your shadow just longs for acceptance, but really your shadow is you, and we all long to just feel whole. So it's more that we long to feel integrated, whole, and complete in our lives. So just embrace your shadow and have some compassion for yourself. Remember, it's tough not to feel accepted, including by yourself. So practice loving words of affirmation towards yourself. Okay, so you could say, "I trust in you. I believe in you. I'm glad that you're in my life. You're worthy of love. You are enough. You deserve to be happy. You have a lot to offer." Some people even meditate to observe their triggers as well. So notice the triggers that cause emotional reactions within you and then you can meditate on them so that you can step back and just observe what's happening here. Observe without being judgmental. When emotions come up, just allow yourself to have them. I keep a little journal especially for shadow work, so it's on my bedside table because I have most of these revelations either at night or they come up during dreams. So a shadow journal is a safe place to practically express all sides of yourself. So you can let out your thoughts, both light and dark, and nobody's going to read a little journal that's sat on your bedside table. So this is quite a private thing to write down, but try and make it a daily practice to just sit down and write in your journal. Don't censor yourself. Write down whatever comes up without overthinking it. At first, what comes up might be a bit uncomfortable to you because you'll think, "Hold on, where's this been hidden all these years?" But it is important to lean into it if you want your shadow self to feel heard. So just be aware of how you respond. It's easy to repeat all those bad habits when taking on new challenges. So while you're doing all this work, just remember to keep an open mind. Practice that self-compassion. Be patient with yourself. Okay, carve out some time to focus on your shadow work and take some time to reflect on your progress as well. Okay, so if you've enjoyed this episode, please, please, please leave me a review or written or a comment if you use Spotify, for example, because this really, really does help me out. Please also go and check out the all-new look academy at cannycrystalsacademy.co.uk. Let me know what you think of this because the website has got a huge new look. All of the courses and the workshops are currently undergoing a huge new facelift. I'm very happy with it, like I mentioned earlier. I think it's definitely more of me than the last one was that I threw together myself in the space of like a couple of weeks, I think it was, with no web design whatsoever. So I've really spent a lot of money on this. Please go and check it out. Um, you can also download free resources from there. So for example, I've got my 21-day free manifesting money challenge that's on there. But yeah, go and visit it, let me know what you think. And I hope that you all have a lovely weekend, whatever you're up to, and I will see you all next Friday for another episode. Thanks for listening, guys. Bye!