130: Making dreams come true with life coaching

Hello everyone and welcome back to another episode of Canny Crystals, the podcast. I hope that you're all well. As you know by now, my name is Mart Tweedyedy, I am your host, and this week I've been swimming, and when I say swimming, I mean swimming in moldavite. Oh my God, it's absolutely crazy. In the last 2 weeks, I have sold, get this, over 700 pieces of moldavite. So whether that be jewelry or, you know, all the little individual pieces or earrings or rings, I am swimming. Honestly, I even spent just over £20,000 just to ensure that I had enough to go around. How mental is that? So if you still haven't got yours, I will be getting some more in in the next few days. I've had to message the mines and literally say to them, 'Please, can you just send me 100 pieces on retainer every single Monday from now on until I tell you not to?' That's how crazy it's been. But yeah, there was even a day yesterday— so I'm recording this on Thursday— but yesterday, Wednesday, my myself and my mum went down the office because Jade, my admin assistant, was off. So me and my mum went down the office and she was packing all the boxes, you know, like making all the boxes up, and I was packing them with moldavite. And as we were packing them, like, I would pack like 30 orders and I would look and there would be another like 45 or 50 orders come through. And then obviously had to take them around to the local garage where the EveryDropoff point is now until they actually get my collection sorted. 'Oh my God, they just took one look at me and they were like, are you joking?' And I was like, 'No, seriously, I'm not joking.' I was like, 'It's not like this all the time, I do promise,' because I quoted them that I'd be sending about 300 parcels a week on average, and I had like 340 parcels on the Wednesday to tick. That's how busy it was, that's how hectic it was. But we got through it, and the best thing about Evri is their delivery is so, so quick. People that had ordered from me on Tuesday, I think, have been messaging me and tagging me in posts saying that they've received their moldavite already, and we're only on Thursday morning here. So amazing service by Evri, a lot better than Royal Mail. That's what we're taking from this. Um, but yeah, if you do want to get your hands on some, I will be restocking as soon as it comes in, hopefully over the weekend. So it might be about Monday evening maybe when I launch the next lot. So just keep an eye out on cannycrystals.co.uk, follow me on Instagram if you're not already, @cannycrystals. I've also got a broadcast channel as well on there now. So if you click the little updates thing on my Instagram underneath the Canny Crystals logo, you'll get updates as to when things come back in stock as well. And don't forget, use the word 'podcast' at checkout as the discount code and you'll get 10% off everything. Anyway, this week my lovely life coach Jude Daunt, who's been on the show before, she messaged me asking me to share her free masterclass about how to become a life coach. And there I was thinking of, you know, what to talk about in this week's episode, and it just suddenly hit us. It hit us like a ton of bricks because my journey since undergoing life coaching has been really transformational. Like, I find it so much easier to work through all my limiting beliefs. I can see why situations happen and when I can and can't control them, and I just feel generally better about life itself since undergoing life coaching myself. So I want to share the magic that I learned. And it's funny as well because Tuesday this week I was in the gym with me good friend Josie, who basically personally trains me for free. She doesn't really, she works there so she trains with me. I provide the lols, she provides the routine. And she was saying something about someone and she was getting really, really vexed about it. And I just caught her in the moment and said, you know, take yourself out of that situation. Would you still react that way if that person in the situation either wasn't you or you had no affiliation with the person that you're mad at? And you could almost hear the cogs turning in her head. It kind of made her realize and, you know, step backwards and step out of the box to view it from a different perspective. And then her whole demeanor changed, and she just kind of like— you could see the shoulders went down and everything, and her facial expression changed, and she just went, oh 'Okay, never mind,' and just stop talking about it. I was adamant, you know, that I was going to do Jude's life coaching certification about a year ago, and to be honest, I just don't know how I would have had the time to fit it in. You know, I'm crazy busy, but I still to this day actually think that I would have made a pretty good life coach had I have gone down that path, because it's pretty much what I do all day every day anyway, responding to emails and messages, giving people advice, you know, talking face-to-face to people. So from my perspective of life coaching, like, how do I see it? Have you ever wished for a magic wand to just make all of your dreams come true? So I don't have a magic wand to offer, but that's something that's almost as powerful for me would have been life coaching. So think of life coaching as having quite a wise friend by your side, you know, someone who's there to guide you, someone who's there to cheer you on from the sidelines and sometimes give you that gentle nudge to, you know, take that leap forward. So some of you might be sat at home right now thinking, what the eff is life coaching? So in simple terms, and I've taken this from Google by the way, life coaching is like having a personal trainer for your life goals and dreams. Just like a sports coach helps athletes perform their best, a life coach helps you achieve your best life. I love that analogy. That's exactly what Jude did with me. So basically, a life coach is going to help you figure out what you really want, why you really want it, and how you can get there. So it's kind of giving you, you know, a bit of meaning in your life and a bit of purpose, and it's making you realize what you actually want, what your dreams and aspirations are. So they're part cheerleader, part teacher, and also kind of, you know, like part counselor, part guide, however you want to put it. On your journey to making your dreams a reality. So the beauty of me working with Jude, my life coach, was that she was also quite heavily into manifestation. So when I first reached out to her, I remember her saying like, oh my God, you deal with crystals? I've been wanting to learn about crystals for ages. And she had this membership at the time, I don't know if she still has it, but she had a membership called Month to Manifest. And she basically held like monthly live calls where people got together to set their intentions set the goals for the month ahead, and then be held accountable by other people. And I remember getting that membership free as well when I joined her life coaching program. And this was while I was still working in the NHS as well, so I didn't really have any— I didn't really have any direction of which way I wanted my life to go. I'd been doing Connie Crystals for roughly a year at this point, but like I say, I was still doing it whilst working a 9-to-5, Monday to Friday, full-time job in the NHS. Which was stressful to say the very least. So I think when I first met Jude and, you know, I found out that she was into manifestation and things, I was like, hmm, you know what I always say about your vibe attracts your tribe? It was like Jude had the exact same interests that I did, do you know what I mean? So I felt really, really connected to her and I felt like I could tell her my whole life story because she wouldn't judge me because she was into manifestation, she was into spirituality, she was into the law of attraction. And gratitude and all these different practices like EFT that I'm into. So manifestation obviously is all about bringing your dreams and desires into reality, and it's the process of turning your thoughts and hopes into actual things or experiences in your life. So of course that's going to come hand in hand with life coaching. Some people think it's about positive thinking, but it's also about taking that action as well. So it's kind of believing in your dreams so strongly that you start to make moves to make them happen. And that's exactly the feeling and the emotion that I got from Jude when I first started working with her. So just a brief history here as well, because life coaching isn't new. In fact, I was watching a really, really old episode of Friends the other day, and I mean, Friends was what, mid-'90s, late '90s? God, I'm old. It was about 25 years ago, probably even longer anyway. And in one of the episodes, someone was talking about going to see a life coach, and I was like, oh, this has been around for years. I just thought it was a new thing, but it's obviously, you know, like, people have been seeking this guidance and this wisdom from other people for centuries. What is new, however, is the formal recognition of life coaching as a profession and its methods behind that as well. So in the past, guidance might have come from, you know, teachers, spiritual leaders, counselors, that kind of thing, whereas today life coaches use a mix of psychology, motivational techniques, and practical advice to help you live your best life. So you might wonder if there's any real science behind life coaching and manifestation. The answer is yes, to be put bluntly, okay? Psychology teaches us that the way that we think about ourselves and our abilities can have such a profound impact on our lives because neuroscience has shown us that our brains can change based on our experiences and actions, and that's a concept known as neuroplasticity, which I've spoke about in previous episodes. This means that the actions that we take and the thoughts that we nurture can literally reshape our entire brain to help us achieve our goals. So I want you to imagine right now that you're holding a remote control that can change the channels of your life. So you've got this imaginary remote control, and when you put it on, you know, channel 1, you're sad. When you're on channel 2, you're happy. Channel 3, you're ecstatic, and so on. With a simple click or a tap of the button, you could switch from like this dull, monotonous routine to an exciting adventure, or from a path of doubt to one of confidence. Does that make sense? So whilst we might not have a physical remote, we do have the power to change our lives, and it all starts in our minds. So change isn't just about deciding to do something different one day. It's a process. It's a journey that starts with a single thought and it blooms into actions. 'Cause like I say, our brains are like gardens. The thoughts that we plant can grow into habits that then shape our lives. And sometimes you might need to, you know, weed out all the negative thoughts to make room for positive change. But that's fine. We'll get rid of the old and bring in the new. Have you ever wondered why it's so hard to stick to a new habit or reach a goal, even when you really want it? It's because our brains are wired to resist that change. They like comfort, they like routine, they like all of this predictability. They like to know exactly what's going on. But just like a muscle, our brains can be trained to embrace that change and seek out and enjoy new challenges. So the first step in changing your life is believing that change is possible. And that might sound really, really simple. You know, you might be like, well, I do believe that change is possible. But this simple little belief is so, so powerful because when you truly believe that you can change, you then start to see opportunities where you once saw obstacles, and that belief is the spark that ignites the action that leads on from that. So to make change happen, you need to set the stage. So there are a few ways that you can do that. You can have clear goals for yourself. So by having those clear goals, you're gonna know exactly what you want to change. So be specific about what success looks like to you. Number 2 is to break it down into small steps. So breaking your goal into smaller, more manageable steps, celebrating every single victory along the way, that's going to help you get there. It's like, imagine standing in front of a 50-story building and you were on the ground floor and you wanted to get to the 50th floor. You wouldn't just jump and expect to land on the 50th floor, would you? You'd go and take the steps. The steps are those tiny little achievable chunks that eventually mean that you'll get up to the 50th floor. I mean, yes, you'll probably be knackered, your quads will be aching, but you'll eventually get there. Does that make sense? The third thing is to have a good support system. So surround yourself with people who support your journey. So a life coach, friends, or even a support group, they can all make a huge difference with you. The fourth thing is to have a positive environment. So create an environment that inspires and supports your change. And that might mean decluttering your space or finding a peaceful spot for reflection. Because the role of habits— you've got to see this as, you know, habits are the building blocks of change. They're the small actions that we take every single day without thinking. So to change your life, you want to start with habits. So replace habits that don't serve you with ones that do. And this isn't always easy, but it is worth it. And over time, these new habits are going to become your new normal. Now, we all know that change isn't a straight path as well, so there will be setbacks, there will be challenges, but the key isn't to see these as failures but as part of your journey instead. So every single setback that you have is a chance to learn and grow stronger. So just remember that progress is progress, no matter how small. And as you go on that journey of change, don't forget to celebrate your successes, big and small. Celebrating reinforces that what you're doing is rewarding and worth the effort. It's a way of telling yourself, you know, I'm on the right path. So I think that was one of the first things that I learned from working with Jude. It was that, you know, everyone has these journeys, everyone has ups and downs. And I think one of the very first exercises she had me do is to plot out my entire life. So at the time, we're talking 2 years ago here, so at the time I was 35 years old. So I basically did like a plot line from left to right of every single year in my life all the way up to 2022 when I started working with her. And then what she had us do for every single year is put in something that happened. And it really made me think. And these events that happened through my life, if they were a positive, they went above the line, and if they were a negative, they went below the line. And by that, I could see how many positive experiences I'd had and how many negative experiences I'd had. And what it made me realise is that until I was about 18, 19, pretty much everything that happened to me in my life I perceived as negative. So it was then trying to look at these and reframe these experiences as to, you know, yes, they might have been a negative experience at the time, but how did that shape the person that I became? How did that then help me grow and flourish? What did I learn from those negative experiences? And that was a really, really interesting exercise. To start off with Jude. And I mean, sure, you can do this exercise yourself whenever you want, but life coaching is quite a unique journey that you go on with someone who's got a map to help you navigate your path to success. So it's about having that partnership, that trust, and that growth. And that's kind of what I had with Jude. I felt like I was talking to my best friend, do you know what I mean? It just all came out, and she was helping me to grow. I had trust in her that she wasn't going to tell all these different stories to different people and you know, go home and tell her husband about it and stuff. But what exactly makes life coaching so effective is, you know, building that trust and that empathy. So the cornerstone of any coaching relationship is trust, because without trust, it's like trying to, you know, sail on a boat without water. Building the trust starts from the first conversation that you have, where both the coach and the person that's being life coached, such as me, commit to honesty, confidentiality, and respect. Because you need to be fully open when you're going to these sessions, because if you're not, how's the other person going to help you? And the other major thing that Jude had as well was empathy. So her ability to genuinely understand and share the feelings of me, you know, like what I was going through, it was like, it was almost like she'd walked a mile in my shoes and seen the world through my eyes. So when it came to, you know, goal setting and action planning, So before setting goals, Jude told me it was important to have a clear vision. You know, what did my ideal life look like? Because Jude helped me to paint that picture and set those realistic, inspiring goals. And then goals are dreams with deadlines, obviously, so you need to have an action plan. So she broke it down. She broke down these goals into actionable steps. She helped me create my roadmap to success. And then the last thing that I got from Jude as well was accountability and encouragement because one of her roles was to keep me accountable. So, you know, did I do what I said I was going to do? Accountability isn't about being, you know, punitive or anything like that. It's about staying committed to your goals. And like I said it before, everyone needs a cheerleader, you know, someone to celebrate the wins and provide encouragement through the challenges. And Jude was there to remind me of my strengths and the progress that I'd made. She was messaging us every time, like, I got a win. One of my biggest things when I first started with Jude is I told her that I wanted to have, I think I told her I wanted to have a £10,000 month. And I think that following month, because she'd held me accountable, and, you know, I'd done all the work on limiting beliefs and everything like that, I was really working hard. Because I really took that action, I hit over £10,000 in a week. And again, Jude would text us and she'd be like, "Oh my God, that's amazing. Congratulations, you're a little superstar.", and it was just really, really nice to hear. But it was those words of encouragement that helped push me even further. So coaching encourages you to have this growth mindset, you know, believing that abilities can be developed through dedication and hard work, and that view creates a love of learning and resilience essential for great accomplishment. And like I said before, regular reflection on what's working and what's not, that really helped me to keep the journey on track because Jude's feedback was all constructive., and it was very, very specific. And then based on that feedback, I could make adjustments, you know, to my strategies and my actions. And it was that continuous loop of action, feedback, and adjustment that kept the momentum going with me. But the true magic of life coaching for me lied in that relationship in itself, okay? Because for me, it was a partnership that was designed to unlock my potential, and it was there to ignite that motivation and to inspire that action within me. So through empathy, trust, and that dedicated support, Jude was able to help me break through barriers and achieve goals that I once thought were out of reach. Like I've mentioned previously before in this podcast, I never ever thought that I would be able to work for myself. I always thought that, you know, once you left school, you went to college. Once you left college, you got a job and you were chained to a desk 9 to 5, Monday to Friday, until you're like 67, 68, whatever retirement age is now. A life coach acts as a catalyst for change, and they facilitate transformation by encouraging that self-discovery and that clarity and that decisive action. Because the coach's role isn't to provide all the answers, but it's just to ask the right questions. So Jude was really, really good at, you know, guiding me to find my own answers and ultimately my path to success, not being told what the path to success is. She was asking like really open-ended questions to make me really delve into what I wanted how I was going to get there, and, you know, how I thought it was going to plan out. And that was really, really pertinent to my success. So as I mentioned at the start of this episode, I nearly underwent Jude's life coaching certification. It's just a good job I didn't because I really didn't get capacity to do it. And if I was ever going to do it, I would want to fully commit to it as well. Because, you know, when you start with a journey of personal growth and manifesting your desires and stuff like that, that transformation doesn't stop with you. It's like a stone that you chuck into a pond, you know, and it ripples, and the ripples go all the way out. They eventually get to the edge of the pond. Your growth sends ripples outwards as well, so it'll start to affect your relationships, communities around you, and even the broader world. So as you start your goals with determination and positivity, you become a living example of what is possible for every single person around you. So your friends, your family, your colleagues, everyone that's observing your journey might feel inspired to start their own paths of personal development as well, because personal growth often leads to improved communication and empathy and that emotional intelligence. And these changes can deepen your relationships and make them more fulfilling and supportive. And the insights and skills that you gain through your journey can be quite invaluable to other people as well. So by sharing what you've learned, you can help create a culture of growth and positivity within your community. Now, many people find that, you know, as they grow, they're drawn to give back through volunteering or mentoring, and that's exactly what happened to me. I saw a huge change in myself. My whole family saw a huge change in me, and straight away I thought, this is amazing. Life coaching has changed my life. I want to become a life coach. I want others to feel this magic. Same way as when I started Can You Crystals? You know, I felt the magic of the crystals, and I was like, I need to share this with everyone I've ever met. Every single person actively working towards their best self contributes to a collective shift in consciousness as well, and that shift can lead to societal changes promoting values like kindness, integrity, and perseverance. And as you start to learn to overcome personal obstacles and manifest your own goals, you might then discover innovative solutions to larger problems. So whether it's through, you know, starting your own business and becoming like a bit of an entrepreneur You might start activism or collaborating with other brands. Your contributions can drive positive change on a global scale. So the support and guidance that you receive can then create a sense of gratitude and abundance, and that encourages you to help other people, and that creates a virtuous cycle where, you know, help and positivity are continuously passed forward. The changes that you make and the inspiration that you provide can be your legacy. That can impact lives for generations to come. So whilst you're striving to impact others positively, it is crucial to maintain your own mental well-being because self-care isn't selfish. We've spoke about this in a previous episode as well. It's necessary to ensure that you can continue to contribute effectively. So it's also important to set those healthy boundaries to avoid overextension, because helping others shouldn't come at the expense of your own goals and happiness. Now, I remember sitting down with Jude one day, and we were mid-session, and I was telling her so much that had happened in my life, and it was quite— I can't remember exactly what I was speaking about, but I know it was quite a sad story I must have been telling. And I just thought, bloody hell, I am overloading this woman with all my worries, with all of my doubts, with all my fears, with all my grievances, and she's still sat there with like a smile on her face and nodding and taking in every single word. And I just thought to myself, she must go home and like totally crash with energy because it would probably drain me. But Jude has her own toolkit and her own technique, and she is really good at guarding herself and, you know, not taking on anyone else's baggage as well. Because I guess that's something that you've really got to take into consideration when becoming a life coach. But I know Jude has all that covered. But on the flip side of all that negativity, we have rewards, because personal transformation and the journey of helping other people through life coaching it's filled with rewards, you know. Like, since undergoing Jude's life coaching program, we've since become friends, and she texts me all the time being like, oh my God, you're a little superstar, I'm so proud of you, and things like that for everything that I'm achieving in my business. So it's nice as well that she gets to witness all of that success that I'm achieving as well, because really it's because of her and what I learned from her that I'm attaining this success. So I wrote down a few little notes just before I came on here, and it was basically just a few little pointers of what I see a good life coach as having. And the first is having that essence of curiosity. So, you know, approaching everything and interacting with genuine curiosity. This means just, you know, being open to discovering all these new aspects of people's experiences and asking those open-ended questions like Jude was, exploring possibilities without preconceived notions. The second thing I wrote down was to have good empathy, so the ability to understand and share the feelings of another person. That's crucial in life coaching. Empathy builds that trust and that connection, and that makes it easier for coachees to then open up and explore sensitive areas of their lives, like I did with Jude. The third thing I've wrote down is to be not judgmental. So holding a space that's free from judgment encourages that honesty and vulnerability. And it's about accepting the other person, you know, where they are in their life and supporting them without that criticism. The fourth thing I wrote is to have patience because, you know, change with certain people will take time. It's not going to happen overnight for everyone. A coaching mindset involves recognizing that growth is a process and just being patient with coachees as they navigate their journey. And then the last thing that I wrote down is to have a positive mindset because, like I say, Jude was just a ray of sunshine every Sunday when we had our sessions together. It was always last thing on a Sunday, and you know, who the hell works a Sunday? Me and Jude do. And you know, last thing of the week, it was like, oh, I now have to go and talk about my week and talk about what I've been up to. But I would go in there and Jude would be beaming from ear to ear, all smiley and happy, and she would just make me feel like I could take on the world. And I set myself up ready for the week ahead. So maintaining that positive outlook even in the face of challenges it helps to inspire and motivate other people. So it's about focusing on solutions and opportunities rather than dwelling on the problems. So a key aspect of the coaching mindset is that growth mindset, like I mentioned earlier, the belief that abilities and intelligence can be developed through dedication and hard work. Coaches can then foster that growth mindset in themselves and their coaches by, you know, celebrating progress, learning from setbacks, Encouraging the pursuit of challenges as opportunities for growth, continuous learning, self-improvement, all the above. So if you relate to any of those qualities that I've just mentioned there, maybe ask yourself, you know, have you got what it takes to become a life coach? Because it will help other people. It won't just help you, it will help other people as well. Spiritual people such as you lot listening to this right now tend to be the best listeners. And the most empathetic and the most non-judgmental of people. So that's why I'm talking about this today, because on April 25th, so that's a Thursday night at 8 PM UK time, Jude has a free masterclass and it's called How to Become a Transformational Life Coach. So she's basically wrote here, if you have a desire to help other people, you want a change in career, or you want to know more about everything that is coaching, you won't want to miss this. And what I'm going to do is I'm going to put the link to that free masterclass in the show notes for today's episode. So if you just click see details wherever you're listening to this from, or more info, whatever's at the bottom of your screen, you'll see the link there. And I'll also be putting it on my stories today as you listen to this on the Friday as well. So just consider this not as an end but as an invitation. It's a call to engage deeply with your own journey of growth. To explore that transformative power of connection, and to contribute in your own unique way to the evolving story of human potential. Because whether you're a coach already, or you're a coachee, or you might even just be curious about life itself, the principles of life coaching offer tools, insight, and inspiration for that journey ahead. I know so many of you reach out to me as well by message and email and Even when I see you face to face at events and say, "Who's your life coach? What are her details?" Well, this is your chance to connect with her live, okay? So go and hit that link. It is free, okay? How many things do you get free these days? It's a free masterclass all about life coaching, how to become a life coach. Hit the link and sign up for free today. And just as a caveat for all of those non-believers that might be like, "Oh, Mart, you were just paid to make this episode." I wasn't. I would have had to legally say that I was paid to make this episode. I made this episode because I genuinely believe in the transformational power of life coaching, how it helped me. Look at my journey in the last 3 years, it's been truly transformational. So get on board. I've even signed up myself just because I'm excited to see Jude and do a thing and things like that. So I will see you all there if you're joining. And just before I end today's episode and go as well, I've got a little bit more exciting news because as you know, I'm currently knee-deep in baby poo whilst I write my book. And I'm absolutely loving working with my publisher, by the way. It's been a really enjoyable process so far, and I'm so grateful to be working with Chloe and the Inspired by Publishing team to get it out of me head and into the hands of people who need it. One of the things that I've noticed since I started writing is how easy it is to get distracted though, and you know, to go off track and struggle to actually know what to write. But with Chloe's guidance and her advice and her super simple process, it has been so much easier to get my ideas onto the paper. And I've just found out that for the first time this year, Chloe is running a 5-day book writing challenge to help entrepreneurs, speakers, and podcasters with writing and publishing their own books. So this is starting on Monday the 15th of April, so this Monday coming. And based on what I've experienced since working with Chloe so far, I know how value-packed this 5-day challenge will be. So I thought I'd share it for anyone who, like me, wants to write their own book.. So whether you want to write a book to grow your business, to build your brand, to leave a legacy, or all of the above, this 5-day challenge will be a bit of a game changer to help you plan your book and write it quickly and easily. Apparently Chloe wrote her first book in just 10 days, so I think she knows a thing or two about how to help us with that as well. So if you want to set yourself the challenge of writing a book this year so you can share your knowledge and help more people whilst being seen as an authority, then I'd invite you to join Chloé's Book Writing Challenge. So I will pop the link to that as well in the show notes for today's episode. And I will also share this on my story on Instagram as well. So I hope that's useful for any of you budding writers out there because it is totally free. Again, what do you get for free these days? Not much, but I'm giving you two masterclasses. Well, one masterclass and one challenge. So there you go. That's my episode. I hope that you enjoyed it. Please feel free to leave me a review wherever you're listening to this episode from. It really does help in ways that you wouldn't imagine. And I will see you all next Friday for another episode. I hope that you have an amazing weekend and I will see you all next Friday. Bye!