Liftoff: How to get going on your next big thing

record button. Otherwise, I'll forget and then I'll be really upset with myself. So we are recording. I want to welcome you to this call today that I have called Lift Off: How to Get Going on Your Next Big Thing. Hello, Caroline and Birdie, nice to see you here. And I just want to thank you for taking the time to join me for this next hour or so And I really, really hope— my aim with this call is to give you as much help and support and benefit as I possibly can. So therefore, I am recording it so you can watch it again later. And also, if you have any questions that come to mind as I'm talking, feel free to just type them into the chat box. I'll keep one eye over there. And I'll also open it up to Q&A so you can ask me a question in just a little bit. So I want to start by just introducing myself because I'm not sure if all of you are very familiar with who I am. So I think I should start there. My name is Mary Schiller, and I am an author of several books that are based on the 3 principles I also work as a coach, and I've kind of named myself Chief Permission Granter because I feel like this next phase of my work has a lot to do with helping people to, to follow their inspiration and to give permission for them to do what they really want to be doing next. And that's really what this call is all about. So I'll start with a little bit of my story because I think it would be helpful for you to hear sort of the before, during, and after so you know kind of where I am coming from. And then I will take some questions from you and later in the call I will also share a way that if you want to work with me more closely on this and feel inspired to do so, I will give you a way to do that. So does that sound all right? Give me a thumbs up. OK, awesome. So Just to give you a little bit of my backstory, which some of you have already heard probably too many times, but I think it is kind of important. You know, I came into the 3 principles just under 3 years ago. It was in, I just looked it up actually, it was around July of 2014. Leading up to that point, I have to admit something that is a little bit sad to say, but it is true. Daily experience of life was pretty much crap for a really long time. I had been diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder when I was 29. I had been in a very abusive first marriage all during my 20s. And unfortunately, even though I left the marriage at age 29, a lot of the abuse continued after that for about another 12 years. So from the years 1983 to 2001, I was basically dealing with a very violent, angry person who basically made it his life's goal to make my life miserable. And during that period of time, I actually did get remarried to my current husband. We've been married almost 20 years, so that's great. And I have a daughter from my first marriage who is now grown up as well. But my experience of life was very, very poor. I had moments when I felt happy, but generally speaking, it felt to me like my life had been taken from me. You know, the abuse in my first marriage literally started on the honeymoon. I had never seen any signs of this behavior in him before that. And at that moment, it sort of felt like I had been robbed, like something had been, you know, something very precious, meaning me, had sort of been taken from me. And that's really how I saw my life up until 2014. I saw, I stopped counting literally at 25 days. Different mental health professionals over all those years, including during my first marriage, because I knew something was wrong. Interestingly enough, none of them asked me if he was abusing me, but that's a whole other story. They made it seem like it was my fault. And I tried lots of alternative therapies and different techniques and things. And at one point, I was getting so desperate to feel better that I was trying to find a doctor in New York who would prescribe me medication under under the table that was being used to treat veterans with post-traumatic stress disorder in some clinical trials. And I couldn't, I just couldn't believe that I had sunk to that point, honestly. I was like, is this really what my life is about? And in early 2014, I had kind of gotten to a breaking point. I had finished a very long and somewhat helpful therapeutic process. It had taken about 18 months. And I had been out of that for about a year. And after I finished that, I was feeling better than I had. But then slowly but surely, my experience started to deteriorate again, where I was feeling daily episodes of major anxiety and stress. I felt— I didn't feel depressed, but I felt like I was kind of standing with my nose pressed up against the glass. And I saw everybody else leading what looks like happy, normal lives. And I felt completely cut off from it. And it was absolute torture. It was absolute torture. I felt such intense envy for people who had not experienced something like I had. I almost couldn't function sometimes. It was that debilitating. And even so, over those years, I managed to lead a somewhat normal life on the surface, at least. I got a couple of graduate degrees and I did some interesting work, but nothing really felt like it was me. I don't know if that makes sense, but I felt like I was just kind of going through the motions. And not really connecting with who I was. So in the middle of 2014, I very randomly, although I don't really believe in random anymore, came across Michael Neill's book, The Inside Out Revolution. And my first impression was that he was an arrogant jerk because the subtitle of that book is The Only Thing You Need to Know to Change Your Life Forever. And I thought, who is this guy? Like, how can he be so sure about that? Like, you know, I've seen all these professionals and I've done all this stuff. Like, you know, I don't believe it. And then I thought, well, what the hell? I mean, I've tried everything else. I might as well read this book. So I actually got the, the Kindle version, the paperback, and the audio version, and kind of immersed myself in all of it. And I I listened to the book over and over again. I would listen to it. I listened to it the first time, kind of sounded like a foreign language to me, like I didn't really get what he was saying. But there was something in there that drew me back. So I immediately started again, listen to it again. And I probably did that like 5 or 6 times in a row on my commute back and forth to work. I was living in the Bronx at the time and worked near Columbus Circle, if you're familiar with New York. So I had about a 40-minute, 45-minute commute every day each way. And at one point, I heard something finally. I think it must have been on like the 6th time through the book. And the thing that just came at me like flashing lights was that I actually never had mental illness called post-traumatic stress disorder. I simply had a lot of weird thinking that I was listening to, and I didn't have to listen to it anymore. And even bigger than that, like, this is so massive, like, it's hard for me to even put it into words, was that my first husband hadn't even done anything to me. Like, stuff had happened, you know, physically to me, but nothing had happened to me, like big Mary me, the one that's not contained in this form. And I felt like I had been released from prison. I felt like I had been in prison for 30 years and somebody let me out. It was— I'm sorry, I'm getting kind of emotional. It was a huge moment for me. It was probably the biggest turning point of my entire life, was having that realization. And so I immediately started telling everybody I knew about the 3 principles. Probably got pretty obnoxious, I have to say. I bought the book for people. I was handing it out. I was talking to my colleagues and my friends, and people were starting to kind of wonder what was up with me because they could see that something was different. So that was kind of fun. I shared it with my family and my husband, of course. And so I spent the next, you know, couple of years really just immersing myself in the principles and talking to people about it. I took some programs of Michael's, the kind of large group programs like Creating the Impossible and Living from Mind. And then I went to visit, I saw the Pranskis at a work, a 2-day workshop there, which was fun, big group workshop, and got to meet a bunch of people. So I basically just had a lot of fun exploring the principles. And then I started to wonder about, I don't know when this was, I guess it was about a year into into it, so maybe around early to mid-2015, I started kind of asking myself, well, now that I have such a nice experience of life, that's really cool. I'm wondering what else there is. Like, is there some kind of practical benefit to having this understanding? Because I'm kind of a practical gal. It seems to be just how I see things. And the first thing that happened once that thought popped into my head was I was able to leave a job that I had been in for a long time, the one that I was commuting to that I really didn't like at all. I was not happy in this job. I had tried many times before that to either leave or start something myself on the side, and nothing worked out. It was just really was kind of an unmitigated disaster. Everything that I tried to do to leave that job. And so I finally got the opportunity in the middle of 2015 to go work for a startup. And it wasn't what I really wanted to do. I did it because I frankly wanted to escape where I was, and it seemed like the best option that I had in front of me. And unfortunately, it turned out not to be the case. Literally, the first day I started working for this startup, I realized I'd made a horrible mistake. And I kind of stuck it out for a while and actually did pretty well for the company. I was doing sales and I did pretty well for them. But at the beginning of 2016, so just a little over a year ago, I went to the CEO/co-founder and just told him that the company was doing something that I couldn't handle emotionally or ethically, just bothered me too much. And so he promptly fired me. So learned a lesson there. Don't speak your mind if you want to keep your job. To kind of wind up that part of the story. It couldn't have been worse timing in terms of losing a job because literally the month before that, almost all of my husband's and my savings had been wiped out by some major unforeseen bills that we had to deal with that were a necessity. We had to pay cash for them. And my husband wasn't working either. He was at that time in California with his father who was quite ill and eventually died last year. And so there I was. I had no income, literally almost nothing in the bank, and was kind of like, okay, this isn't looking very good. Like, what am I going to do? So then I had that thought again about the practicality of the principles, and I just thought, I wonder if there's something new that I can see here about this. You know, what, what is this showing me? Is there something going on? So I spent about a month kind of alternately freaking out and going silent, not really knowing what to do. And then one day I woke up and I said, you know what, I do not want to do anything that I don't want to do. Anymore. That includes anything related to work. I don't want to just go get a job that I don't like. I don't want to just do things that I've been paid to do in the past if I don't want to do them anymore. I'm just not going to do it. I am only going to do things that I am inspired to do and want to do. And that's it. I am, I am not going to go back to doing things quote unquote just for the money. Or anything like that. And I have to explain this, that this is a very new— this was a very new concept for me. I had never really felt that kind of freedom before. And on paper, it looked like a really stupid thing to go after, honestly, because it was like, hey, I need some income, you know, but I just felt in my heart of hearts that I needed to give myself permission to follow my inspiration. So the first thing that I was inspired to do was to say boldly that I was a 3 Principles Coach and basically put up a shingle and say that that's what I did and here's how much I charge. And I was amazed at what happened after that. It was kind of like the doors were just flung open. To me, where people wanted to work with me. They contacted me. I didn't even have to do any sort of sales pitch or anything. I became very inspired to write all these different Three Principles books last year, which was just enormously fun, and I'm going to continue doing that. I think one of the most amazing things too was that I was able to meet a lot of the people that I had been admiring from afar. So I got to thank Michael Neal in person for, for writing the book and for what it had done for me. As I said, I got to meet the Pranskis. I got to meet and work with Mara Gleason, who I love to pieces. And just all of these things just started to happen. And I thought to myself, wow, I wish I had known this before. If I had only known before that if I simply listened to inspiration and then kind of followed my own intuition about what to do next, that I could have this kind of life. You know, I felt I felt so— I don't even have a word for it. I really felt like I had been given the keys to the kingdom in that moment. It was like, wow, this actually doesn't have to be so hard like it had been for me before when I was getting nowhere. It suddenly looked very obvious to me that when we're given inspiration, we're actually given that inspiration for a reason. That it's not just there as some sort of lark or some idea that we can kind of play around with and either listen to or not. To me, it seems like— and I hope this makes sense— but it seems like it's there as a way for us to feel this connection that we have to mind, to use Three Principles speak, to not just feel that but also to express that through ourselves and have other people experience it through us, it doesn't even seem like something we should ignore at all. It seems like something that we should really pay attention to and respond to. So that was really a huge, huge insight for me. Another couple of things that I wanted to mention that became clear over the course of this past year was that I didn't have to do everything myself. And I know that this kind of gets talked about in the Three Principles Community, so I'll explain what I mean by that. It started to look more and more to me like I wasn't actually doing all of the work, that it was sort of being done through me, or like I personally sort of was the doing. So, you know, writing all of the books and coaching all these people and giving talks and things, it didn't seem like work anymore. It didn't seem like effort. It didn't seem like it was even something that I was even in control of. It felt like it was happening and I was sort of riding it. And it felt like, and still does, you know, mind has given us this innate creativity, this infinite well of of creative stuff that we can do things with that doesn't have to feel so much like work. So that was definitely another insight that I had. And I think the fourth thing that I wanted to bring up, and this is kind of a biggie, actually, and that is that I think, and I can put myself in this camp for sure before this past year, I feel like we're also given permission to act without fear, that we can simply do things and not have anything attached to it, no worries attached to it, no fears about what other people will say. You know, I've got plenty of bad reviews of my books on Amazon. Doesn't bother me. I'm going to keep putting them out no matter if people buy them or read them or not. I'm just going to keep doing it. And I think that there's an element of fearlessness that starts to emerge when we listen to this inspiration from within and give ourselves permission to act on what it's telling us. And here's the thing, is that sometimes what we hear to do seems really weird, like it doesn't seem normal. Like for instance, Even me hosting this call. When I heard this idea in my head, it actually sounded kind of scary to me. Like, Mary, who are you to get up and talk to a bunch of people about how to create a business easily and get, you know, and I had all that thinking. And I was like, well, this is what I'm hearing. So I'm just gonna go for it. Because what do I have to lose? Lots of people might have something to gain. If I just kind of get over myself and forget any fears and whatnot and just put myself in a position where people can, you know, listen to me if they want to, take something away from it or not. It's not really for me to say. So I guess what I'd like to do at this point is just pause for a moment and see if anybody has any questions or comments that you'd like to make. I've kind of been rattling on here for about 20 minutes, so I'd love to hear anybody's thoughts. So feel free to type in the chat, or if you'd like to raise your hand, I can see if I can spot you. Andrew, let me unmute you. Hi there.

Hi, Mary. Wonderful, wonderful experience. You know mine, I'm going to tell it, but the point is—

I'm having some trouble hearing you. Is anybody else? Yeah, I can't quite hear you, Andrew. I think you've— we've lost you there. Are you there? I will— Andrew, I'm going to come back because I think we have lost you, or maybe if you'd like to type your comment into the box, we can hear it then. All right, uh, let's see, anybody else have a thought or a comment, question before I keep going? Oh, Dorothy. Hi, Dorothy. Hi there. Oops. Can you hear me? Yep.

Okay, great. Yeah, hi, Mary. Anyway, I'm glad you overcame your fear and went for it because it's been incredibly helpful and so supportive. It's kind of like somebody just opened the window in a stale house that's been closed all season. It's like, oh my God, I can do this. It's just very encouraging. And just that you're giving away all your little trade secrets. It's such a great feeling of abundance because there are, what, 7.5 billion people in the world? And so really we're only going to benefit by helping and supporting each other, right? So, but I feel that so strongly through everything you're doing. So thank you, really, just heartfelt.

Thank you. You're welcome.

Um, one thing I just wanted to get your take on— I, I'm doing several things at once, and I think that this may be something that relates to other people that are here that have been on your group. Um, and sometimes I feel a little bit diluted, you know, because I'm like, I have one project that I'm working on and I'm starting something else, and then I'm writing a book on the side. And I feel good about all of them and I have some momentum going in all of them, but I'm just wondering how you have navigated this or if anything comes to you about this because I know you've got tons of pots on the stove at the same time.

Yeah, that's a really good question. That's a really good question. I want to just say, well, thank you for the thank you. I appreciate that. And one thing is just popped into my mind was when I spoke with a few of you a couple of weeks ago, and the topic of collaboration came up— collaboration versus like competition in a way. And that kind of relates to what you were just saying, Dorothy, is that I don't, I don't see competition at all anymore. That, that just doesn't even enter my consciousness. I feel like We're all in this together. And if I can in some way be, you know, as I've called myself in relation to this, the name of this talk, you know, if I can be your launchpad in some way to help you get off the ground and into something that you want to be doing, then I'm— that's what I want to be. You know, I don't, I don't see any reason to not share every single thing that I can think of that can help you do that. So that's kind of where I'm coming from. And now to answer your question, it's really interesting because I feel like we have this idea that we're only capable of doing X number of things at a time. And one thing that I've explored a lot over the past 12 months is what I mentioned earlier, this idea of innate creativity. So I've really noticed that when I am kind of trusting that and relaxing into more and more of what or who I am, I have really been able to increase my output. It's kind of been— I'd always been a very productive person, but now that I'm kind of acting from, like I said, this place of inspiration and trusting that I have what I need to get things done, without kind of getting caught up in any thinking about it, I can get things done a lot faster. Now, I have a lot of projects that are sitting on my hard drive that I haven't finished. But I don't even worry about that anymore. I used to feel guilty, like I have, you know, half-written books and things like that. And I've kind of realized that sometimes I will start a project and realize, you know, not the right time for this. I'm really more interested in this over here. So I'm going to go do that. And I do try to in some ways set a schedule for completion of things. So like I have a book completion schedule that I'm meeting, but I don't really give it too much thought anymore about can I juggle all of these things or can I do all of these things. It kind of just isn't even in my head anymore because I know that I can. I could probably do 1,000 times more if I could really really tap into this creative force that we're all made of. So I don't know if that answered your question satisfactorily, but that's how it looks to me.

Yeah, that's, that's great. Thanks, Mary.

Okay.

So anybody else have a question or comment? I'm kind of— oh, Andrew, you're back. Should we try you again? All right, just unmuted you.

Okay.

Can you hear me this time?

I can.

My internet just crashed.

Oh, of course it did, because that's what happens, right?

Yeah, perfectly synchronized. Great, really inspiring, Mary. I love, I love what you've described and the way that you've handled it and the emotion that comes with it, because we've all had stuff happen in life, and, and I think sometimes these big challenges create the opportunities. And you've given me an insight myself, actually, through that I had a big fraud happen to me about 4 years ago, and I actually wouldn't have found the principles had it not happened, because the person who kind of helped me pick myself up passed me Jack Pransky's book, Somebody Should Have Told Us. And that was the kind of beginning of my journey, which then led on to Michael Neill's. And so I feel very blessed by everything that's happened, and I think just to know that is hugely reassuring and it's consistent with everything that the principles say. So thank you for sharing your story. It's, it's very powerful, very self-validating, and I'm really looking forward to learning more from you and hearing everything that you have to give because you have so much.

Thank you, Andrew. That's really nice. Thank you so much. One thing that your comment made me realize, Andrew, is that I know a lot of people, like I actually made this comment on something that came through my Facebook feed. It was actually an ad. It was talking about how long it takes, for instance, to get started as a Coach, that you have to start small and you have to build up and it takes 1 to 2 years. I just typed on there, it is not true. You know, it was not— so there are so many things that we see as fact, you know, whatever they may be, that are just not fact. You know, if I had looked at my situation and said, well, you know, I've heard it takes like a year and a half, 2 years to really build up a coaching practice that can pay the bills, I would never have done it. I probably would have gone back to being a copywriter. Or something like that, that I knew that I could, you know, make money in. And I would have just given up. And instead, I was like, well, that's what people say. But I'm just going to call myself a coach and start charging right now and see what happens. And, you know, in my first year in business, I made 80% of what I made when I was a full-time employee. And I was pretty happy with that. I'm sure I could have done more if I'd had even less thinking. Around it. But, you know, when I finally did my taxes, I was like, hey, yeah, look at that. It didn't take, you know, a year and a half, 2 years to get going. And it was really just because I was listening to what I was called to do. And that's, to me, seems like the only thing that really counts, frankly. Who else has any questions or comments? I have to kind of flip back and forth through the screen. We have so many lovely people on here. I see some people on the phone. I can't see you if you're raising your hand, so I'm not sure what to do about that. Um, oops, wait, let me go back. Okay, hold on. Well, if nobody has any comments at the moment, I'm going to keep going a little bit. So the other major piece of my life that I wanted to change, not just my work situation, was my living situation. At the time that I lost my job, I was living in the Bronx. And I was actually living in a really nice neighborhood in the Bronx. I liked the neighborhood very much, but I had some personal reasons for not wanting to live there anymore. Um, my daughter lives in the United Kingdom and doesn't have any desire to come back to live in the States. And I just was like, I have to get out of this country and get closer to her. That is just an absolute must. It has to happen and it has to happen fast. That was just where my head was. And my husband and I had been fortunate enough at one time to have the means to purchase this apartment in Paris that I am now sitting in. But a year ago at this time, it didn't look promising that we could make a move like that because of all of the circumstances that I mentioned. We were really having financial difficulties. My father-in-law was quite ill, and there were other things to do with him. We had a couple of other things going on in our family. And then, you know, me starting this new business, it was just like, whoa, you know, too much stuff going on. And then one day, I had kind of gotten to this point where I was like, well, shoot, I want to move. And so I'm just going to move. And I will, I'll do whatever it takes to move. And here I am. I mean, it almost seems miraculous that I was able to do that. This is something I'd been wanting to do since I was 19 years old. And finally, in probably the worst circumstances you can imagine, I still was able to make this happen for us. And that is one of the most miraculous things I can point to. Over the last year because if you had told me that I was going to be able to do this, I would have said you were crazy. And anytime I had a thought of doubt come in, I just was like, nope, not listening. Nope, nope, nope. And anytime I had any thinking that said, Mary, you know, who are you to try to make this happen right now? I would just go, no, not listening to you. No, no. I said no a lot to my thinking during that period about this move. And, you know, yeah, there was a lot of stuff that had to happen in order for this to occur. But somehow, it all did. And actually much more easily than I would have imagined that it would. And now we are living much closer to where our daughter lives. And I'm able to work remotely because of this new career that I'm still designing for myself. And I've just seen that You know, my mom used to say, when there's— where there's a will, there's a way. And to me, it's the will part is the inspiration part, and the way is mind. It's this beautiful flow of innate creativity that we have access to all the time that is just ready and willing to rush up and help us with whatever we are inspired to to do. So that was another big piece of the changes that have occurred since I started acting from this new vantage point of sort of the practical principles, I'll call them, the practical application of the three principles. So any, uh, comments or questions at this point? I'm looking here? If so, give me a holler, wave, anything. Oh, Birdie! Hi Birdie! Hang on. Hi Birdie!

Hi Mary, thank you so much for your story. That was beautiful. It was very inspiring and encouraging.

Good.

I've been getting caught up in doing lots of different things like Dorothy was referring to and all of a sudden I think, I don't think I want to do any of it. So to hear you say that, which is where I am most of the time, and people think I'm a bit strange because I might say, I don't know if I'm going, I don't know if I'm going to do this or do that, and next thing I've done it. They can't understand where I'm coming from, but that's my inspiration, and I tend to act sort of on impulse and, you know, immediately as well, before I've even thought it very often. Yeah, it feels like freedom to me.

Yeah, it is like freedom. It is freedom. And, you know, going back to what you and Dorothy both said about, you know, having a lot of things going on, I think what might be useful is remembering that when there are some things that we really want to do And there are some things that we have thinking that says we are supposed to do or we should do. And I kind of started to see through that veneer a bit more. I started to see that there were things that I had on my list that were only there because I thought I was supposed to do them or I should do them. And I just got rid of all of them. I don't listen to those anymore. Now I only listen to the ones that I want to be doing. I mean, I know that sounds really maybe narrowing, but in a way it just blows the doors off because it's like, what do I really want to be doing? Let me do that, you know. Does that make sense?

Yeah, it really speaks to where I am at the moment. And as you were saying that earlier now, it's— I just felt a lot of things disappear, which is really nice. Yeah.

And you know, that's actually an interesting question because some of you that I spoke to over the last couple of weeks, I asked you what you wanted to be doing and there was a silence.

Yeah, yeah, because I've been feeling very confused about what I want to do now, and I think, well, maybe I just want to forget about all of it. Yeah, and so yeah, I've just lost myself and I got to the point where I thought, I don't even know myself anymore. Who am I? What am I?

I know, you can get— it can get very confusing. And so I found it really helpful to just sort of give myself a break first of all, and just kind of stop everything and say, all right, you know, stop looking for the jobs, stop looking for— just Stop. Now, Mary, what is it that you really want to be doing with your time? How do you want to be— you know, this is a big question. This is, you know, this is our time and our life we're talking about. You know, what do you really want to be doing? And when I stopped to listen to that question, the answer was just so obvious. It was like, I want to talk about these principles. I don't know exactly what that looks like. But that's all I really want to be doing with my time. So let's figure out the how in a minute, you know. Yeah.

Yes, I've been mulling that question for about a week now, and I've had a couple of weeks away because I had a virus anyway, so that put me out of action for a little while. Yeah, lovely in a way. It wasn't nice, but, you know, gave me that break of having to worry and things about constantly. Yeah, so it was just lovely to hear you say that because it clarified a lot. So thank you.

You're welcome. Thanks, Birdie. All right, I'm looking for Leonard. Leonard, there you are.

Am I unmuted?

Yep, you are.

Okay, good. I was just gonna type here. I think I have to go blow my nose, but I'll wait.

You can do it on camera. It's all right, we won't care.

I would. Might be funny to everybody. I mean, can they— you know, might be funny everybody. No, we'll— um, God, I just— I was listening to Birdie and I literally got lost in what I was going to say to you, Mary.

All right.

Oh, um, when you mentioned about the freedom of The freedom piece, I think, is really interesting because it's so simple to think we need, like, I need your permission or I need Birdie's permission or somebody else's permission to do maybe even something simple. And all that thinking, you know, it's so weird. I think that's what really popped into my head is like, You were saying something and I was like, oh, I'm going to be doing that. Oh crap. And I think also it can be, it can really scare us when we hear, like really hear. And that's to me, I know sometimes that just scares the crap out of me because it's like, oh, I can do that?

Little old me?

I love the look on your face.

It's like, yeah, I can too. But that's to me, that's what's so exciting is because When we ask the question, you know, what do I really want to do? And you get an answer and you're like, oh really? Okay. And you just kind of go and don't really spend much time in that worry stuff. It's amazing how it can really open you up to an entirely new reality. You know, isn't that what we're all looking for? In the end, you know, all of us in this conversation is at least looks to me like we're trying to break open the reality that we're in and then step into a new one and then step into a new one. And the only way it looks to me to do that is to be willing to actually step into it when you hear it, like be like, whoa, okay, here I am now, you know. So I don't know if that makes sense to you, but that's what it looks like.

No, it does, it does. Like, I was— it does.

It's—

I don't know why, but for some reason last night we were, we were watching a show and they were on, uh, on National Geographic and they were talking about memory. They were saying, you know, when you— the reason a lot of people will be thinking about something and then they go through a doorway is because a doorway is a sign to our brain, oh, a new thought. And we forget. That's why we forget, oh, what we were thinking about. They were talking about anchoring, and I'm not really sure how this is relevant, but it's like, like you said A new thought, a new experience, like going into a new room of your life. And that's my point. And when you do that, it can be very scary. And it's almost like our brains are, are wired— when we walk into a mental, through a mental doorway, we kind of forget. We don't realize what we want. And almost, if you can, if you can trigger, remember that. Maybe it's stepping back, and maybe it's taking two steps back into the room behind you going, oh, this is what I want. Okay, now that I'm aware of it, move forward. If that makes any sense.

Yeah, it does for sure. It does for sure. And you know, I think we just get very comfortable in our, our thought-created world and we can forget that there's a whole other world and many more that we can explore. And, you know, when I had that realization that I mentioned earlier about the fact that I really didn't have a mental illness, and that my first husband hadn't done anything to me, there was a mixture of tremendous relief, but also some fear. It was like, whoa, where am I? It was like somebody had just plunked me down into a new space and I had no idea where I was.

Yeah.

And it takes a little bit of adjustment to kind of go, okay, I'm in a new reality now. What is this? Let me explore this. And that's kind of how it feels like this has been. And I think it's really fun to keep doing that, you know, because it does seem like something we can actually do. It's almost like what we're made to do is keep expanding past what we already know and what we already see.

And how many times do we— I'm just speaking for myself— if I actually felt that And then all of a sudden the fear, the fear of leaving the familiar room, going into another room and you go, whoa, not going there. Not doing it.

Yeah. I think that that's really common. It's really common. And what I'm here to say is that there's no need to listen to that fear because there's never anything bad on the other side. That's what I figured out was like, well, why didn't anyone tell me that? Why didn't anyone tell me this before? Yeah, totally. So there's only good stuff. There's no bad stuff.

Yeah, you need to hang that from the Eiffel Tower, Mary.

I know, because there's only good stuff on the other side, people.

Go through the door.

I'll be watching the 6 o'clock news tonight here in North America.

Thanks, thanks, Leonard. Caroline. Hello, Caroline.

Thanks, Mary, this is great. Yeah, and I was reading your book recently, your permission book, so yeah, I've had permission on the mind quite a bit. He's speaking about it again. Something that Leonard just said then, yeah, connected with me recently. A couple of days ago or something, I had this sort of insight about kind of, you know, in terms of what we want. You were saying sometimes people sit there, you ask people what they want, and they're like, I don't know. And that's Yeah, that feels quite common, like, what do I— there's a difference— what do I want to do right now, or what do I want to do, like, ultimately with my time, my life? And I had this little— I just had this thought came to me the other day that, you know, if I'm feeling— if I'm having a good feeling about something, that that's Like, that's me getting a sense of really who I am. That's like me feeling that the energy of the universe, if you like, I'm a part of, you know. So that's like, I feel that in my body. That's a great feeling. So when that sort of thinking mind kicks in, and Leonard was talking about, like, you know, you say, yeah, you're gonna go and do something, and then the sort of fear kicks in, that sort of smaller mind kicks in. I realized that if I'm listening to that thinking around it, that it's almost like I'm saying that I know better than the universe, like, than the energy that brings the sun up, you know. So it almost seemed ridiculous to me, like, I know with my tiny little bit of experience of life, and, you know, I know better basically than the energy that has created the universe that I'm a part of.

I'm only laughing because I can relate to what you're saying totally.

It's like it totally put it in context, like how ridiculous that is. Yet still, like, that's, that's what happens. It's like a habit, you know, that I kind of go into. So it's great and fascinating for me to hear you talking about how you deal with thoughts, and when they come up, just kind of deciding, well, I don't need to listen to that.

Mm-hmm.

Like, that's incredibly liberating.

Yeah, I pretty much figured out that I don't have to listen to any thinking I don't like. Like, if I have a thought that I like, I can listen to that all day. If I have one I don't like, I don't have to listen. I mean, it can sort of be there still if it wants, but yeah, I don't have to listen. If I had listened to the thinking I had this morning, I wouldn't have been on this call today.

Yeah.

But I knew it was, I knew it was rubbish, so I just didn't listen to it because I wanted to be on the call.

There's something delicious about that and refreshing. And like, given my, that insight that I was just talking about, it also completely makes sense. But yet I'm so I'm still not there with it. It's like I'm still not there. I still kind of get a thought that says, "Yeah, but," or, you know, "What if?" and go, "Oh yeah, maybe that's got something. Maybe that's got something useful," you know.

And, you know, I think that's normal. I mean, I still have those. I'm sure that I am stopped from doing certain things that I'm not even aware that I'm stopped, if that makes sense. You know, it's kind of there and I'm hearing it, so I'm not doing something. But I think that the more that I have done what you said and realized, you know, I am— my little thinking is really small. Like, it doesn't know anything really about anything. You know, who am I to say that mind doesn't know what it's doing? I mean, that just seems kind of insane almost to have that kind of outlook. The more I've kind of looked at that and laughed at myself, the better things have kind of gone, you know. I don't, I don't get mad at myself so much anymore when I get caught up in stuff like that. It's like, oh, there I go again. Yeah, whatever, you know, let's just move on.

Genuinely not found anything bad at the other side?

What's that?

You've genuinely not found Scary monsters on the other side.

No, no, just the opposite. Just the opposite. Because the only scary monsters that ever exist are the ones that I used to think about, you know, when I was having all that trauma thinking. And once I realized that I didn't have to even acknowledge that or see it as anything important, it was kind of like, well, okay, that's done. So now what do I want to do? I really feel like I got all of the, this is gonna sound really weird, but when I figured out what the principles were pointing to, it's like, okay, self-help, self-improvement, done. Now, what do I wanna do? I want to do this, I wanna share the principles, I wanna write books, I wanna talk to people, I wanna coach people, I want to, you know, and now this year it's like, I wanna help other coaches, you know, get off the ground. I wanna have, you know, conferences, I wanna invite people to Paris, so it's like, once you kind of are done with all that, it's— you've got all this energy and all this creative flow to just do stuff. Yeah, that makes sense.

Totally.

Yeah, yeah.

And if I can just ask one more question, is that okay?

Yeah, sure.

Yeah.

Um, how do you balance, like, on a day-to-day? So I get that you've got, like, okay, what do I want to do? Like long-term, you know, and then but also there's like, right, I wake up today and what do I want to do? Like, I'm really curious because you seem so productive and focused as a person, like how do you balance the kind of the two things of like what do I want to do moment, day-to-day, hour-to-hour?

Yeah, that's a good question. I think the The way it works is that I know what I'm called to do, and I ignore anything that says I need to feel a certain way to do it. I don't wait for motivation. I don't wait for any kind of good feeling or correct feeling or let's, I just do. I just do. I don't really give much attention to how I am feeling moment to moment. In that way. I'm listening to something that feels deeper than that.

Yeah, so you're, you're responding to what is like a deeper calling, like a deeper want?

Yes, exactly. And kind of the day-to-day feelings and, and all that, I just kind of set them off to the side and I don't pay them much attention. Like, I wasn't feeling very well, like I mentioned, this morning. I was kind of having a low thing, but I still got a tremendous amount done. I was working on this class for you guys about how to make an online course, and I got a big chunk of that done. And, you know, I prepared for this call, and I was like, you know, I'm still able to do things even if I quote-unquote don't feel like it.

You know, when you say don't do— like, stop doing what you don't want to do, do what you want to do— you're not talking like responding to momentary feelings of like, actually, I'm just gonna stay in bed because—

No, that's really important. That's really important. That's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about those deeper callings, you know, listening to those and looking around your life and going, am I really doing those things?

Yeah.

If I'm not doing those things, then I can start doing them, and I can let the other things fall away that I don't want to do.

Yeah, perfect.

Thanks.

Thank you, Caroline. All right, I have Susan and Lori, so let me find Susan. There you are, Susan.

Hello, Mary.

Hi, good to see you again.

Thanks, you too, and everybody else. I might have some background noise, so if I do, then just mute me, okay?

Okay.

Some work going on in the house. Yeah, first off, you know, it's always really inspiring to hear you talk about your story and how you came to the principles and the understanding. And it occurred to me when you were talking about it that, you know, all that time and space where your thoughts were on, you know, less inspiring things, almost like once you you know, empty your unread emails, you have more space, you know, more room to let more of the creativity and the other, you know, more inspiring things come forward. And I think that, you know, a lot of us have obviously things to deal with in life, difficult things at times, and that hangover feeling, an emotional hangover kind of thing, really like pull, take too much space in your thinking. So yeah, so I really related with what you were saying. I thought that was really terrific. Yeah, that's right. You only have so much space and seconds in a day, right? Where do you want to put them? And the other thing is, you know, you know, it's been only a couple years since I came to learn about principles. And in the last 6 months, for some reason, it's really like ramped up. And maybe it's just settling within myself. So then I find myself now, my existing therapy, psychotherapy work, I'm like at this crossroad. It's like, no, I don't want to do it that way anymore. I mean, I'll always stay in the health field, always. But there's complete shift in the conversation, I guess, and the approach. And, you know, it's like almost throwing away the toolbox, you know what I mean? So it's so much simpler. So I'm— yeah, so I'm on that crossroad. And of course, that's why we connected. So I thought, well, what am I going to do with this? You know, so I'm clear that the deeper call is always to stay to work in the health field. But how that's gonna work and show up next, I'm not sure. So it's good.

And that's, that's the fun part though, isn't it? It's like, um, we don't need to know the how. That's, that became really obvious to me. It's like I, I can listen to the what, and then when the how appears through— I don't know what you want to call it— intuition, or you just see something that you that looks interesting to try, you're free to do that. You're free to try that because that's the how sort of appearing, or at least one option of the how. So I think that that's why this past year has felt fairly effortless because I didn't have to sit down like I did before and try to figure out the how, you know, you guys know what I mean? Like I didn't have to sit there and try to plan everything and figure out what to do and you know, try to plot out the next 6 months of this, that, and the other thing, which is what I had been trying to do before. Instead, I just was like, okay, I don't know what the how looks like, so I'm gonna wait until something comes through. And I found that it comes through fairly quickly when you're, when you're ready to listen.

Well, you know, I think it's again, you got to leave the space for it to come forward. So, so I'm sort of almost like when you're saying about your permission thing, thought to myself, you know, I think I'm just gonna take some time off to leave some space for some more reading and exploring and all that kind of thing.

Yeah.

And see what happens, you know, like I'm not worried about it or fixed about anything. It's just feel a real opening, you know.

Yeah, that's wonderful.

Yeah, and it's, you know, because when you stay in the same work for 30-odd years, well, it never really gets boring because it's always with people, but finding a new way to do it, and you, like you say, I feel a little bit like somebody took away the tools, but that's okay, you know.

There's new tools.

Yeah, see what happens.

Yeah, cool.

Thank you, Susan. Appreciate it. All right, let me go to Lori. Where'd you go, Lori?

Oh, there you are.

Sorry. Okay. Hey, hey, Lori.

Um, so the idea of doing things and doing what you want to do, I think that's interesting. I have an opportunity to show some of my art in a couple of weeks, but the thing is, is I really don't want to. Feels like, you know, I've been doing a bunch of new work, but none of it's quite finished yet, and there are some technical things that have to happen that I need Aaron's help with. And, you know, there's that idea of like taking an opportunity, but sometimes those opportunities come along and I'm just sitting here like, I really don't want to do this. So I'm kind of curious about your thoughts on that.

I love this question because there's, there's a lot going on underneath that. What the first question that comes to my mind is, is it because you're afraid of how people will respond to your work?

No, it's, it's not that. Some of my work isn't quite finished, so it feels like there's this rush to get it finished. And I'm finishing up the semester teaching, and so there's the end of that. So it's not the fear of that. I think it's maybe the fear of getting everything done and feeling like it's this force like it has to be done by this timeline, and I'm just, yeah.

I don't know if any of you have read that book, The Surrender Experiment, by Michael Brown, is it Michael? I forget his name, I'm sorry. I should have looked it up, but anyway, it's called The Surrender Experiment, and in that book, he does this thing where he says yes to everything. Yeah, and I'd be curious to know what might happen if you said yes to that opportunity. What might get marshaled within you and through you if you just said yes? Because there might be something really amazing on the other side of that.

Well, I did say yes, but I haven't paid yet, so I want to back out.

I see.

I think part of it is that last year I did that. I kind of just said yes to all these different experiences and it was really good. You know, I made some extra money, I made the money to pay for my art stuff, um, but I was exhausted by the end because it felt like it was this big push. And, but that's where I get hung up too because I, you know, like, okay, do I say yes to this, kind of push some things forward and it doesn't, you know, I have some older work I can bring. It's just like I want to bring new stuff because, you know, it's just time. But, um, yeah, I'm just here like, I just don't really want to.

Well, here's, here's one thing I can say, and I think maybe you and some other people here can relate to it. It's like when you have something— now I should preface this by saying I've known Lori How long have I known you?

Since like 1990-something.

I don't know. So we go way back, so I have a lot of the backstory.

Not quite 20 years, but it's a long time anyway.

And I think when we may find ourselves in a situation where we're doing some things that we enjoy and other things that we don't, when we start to let go of the things we don't, there's a whole lot more energy available to us for the things that we do. Now I'm not saying that this particular opportunity is the best one for you. That's not my place to say, but, um, it's just amazing to me what can happen when you kind of start to say no to the things that aren't really where you're at anymore and start saying yes to the things that are. Because like I was saying earlier, our— it seems to me that our reason for being on this planet, at least partly, is to keep growing and creating and changing and not staying in one place. So, um, yeah, so that's about the best answer I have at the moment.

You're like, go for it, and I'm sitting here thinking, no, I don't want to. No, but I get what you mean. I really do, because I did, you know, last year I did say yes to a lot of these things, and it worked out really well, and it was really good. And then I found myself, and you know, maybe it's just a weird period of having to go inward, and I'm doing this art class that's changing my art quite a bit. And I'm not worried about whether people will— I mean, yeah, I want people to like it. I want people to buy it, but they will, you know. But it just feels like, I wish it was a week later. You know, a week later I'd be done with school, it'd be fine. I'd be you know, have more time to prepare.

And so, but you can, you're allowed to set all of that aside, all that thinking to the side, and see what, what actually can happen. I think you might be surprised. Okay, thank you. So we have gone over our 1 hour, so I want to just, um, very quickly, uh, wrap this up by saying that if it's all right with you, I'll spend about 2 minutes describing something that I've put together. If you would like to work with me more closely on exploring Liftoff and how to kind of get you going on whatever your next big thing is, I have a program that I'm offering that starts May 10th called Liftoff, and you can read more about it on my website. It's maryschiller.com/liftoff, and I'll just kind of give you the high points. It's 8 weeks. There's 2 different versions. One is an online class that also includes some group calls like this, a wonderful Facebook group where I'll do some live events, and I'll give you materials through the 8 weeks that basically go into more depth on what I was talking about on the call about how we can listen for inspiration, how we can respond to it with fearlessness, and where that might take us. And from my own experience and watching other people, It can take you quite far, farther than you might expect. And then the second option includes 6 hours of my time. So coaching or consulting. And that can mean anything from like more of a traditional coaching call to if you got something that you need some feedback on, you know, anything related to creating products or your website or anything like that. I'm happy to act as a a sounding board and as a professional who can offer you some assistance in that regard. And that also gives you unlimited email access to me as well. And what I'm really excited about too is for anybody who wants to participate in this first run of the program, I am including all of the online classes that I will release this year that are valued at $249 or less. So that would include this one coming up about how to create an online course. I'm going to do one about self-publishing on Amazon. I'm going to do one about how to make a bigger impact on your clients. And I have lots and lots of lower-priced courses coming out this year. So anybody who participates in this will get that as part of the package. So the one that doesn't include me as the coach coach is $997, and the one that does is $1,997. So if you have any questions about that, feel free to send me a note, or if you'd like to chat about it and find out from me if it might be a good fit, I'm happy to set up a call with you to talk about it. So I would just love to be your springboard, your, you know, anything that I can do. I feel so moved by all of the work that's being done in this Community and by all of you that if there's anything at all that I can do to support you in getting you to your next thing, your next big thing. I would just love to be that support for you. So any questions before we wrap this up? It's been so nice having everybody on here. It was really a joy to, to have you all with me today. And, you know, feel free to get in touch with me anytime and check out the program, maryschiller.com/liftoff. All right. Okay, everybody have a wonderful rest of your day wherever you may be in the world. Thank you so much. I'll talk to you again soon and I'll share the recording as well. Bye for now.

Bye.