Mary Schiller argues you don't owe anyone an explanation for your choices or creative work. She spent years as a coach resisting pressure to fit a dominant discourse, insisting on her own voice instead. Permission to act is inherent, not earned, so stop justifying and start expressing.
You don't need to keep explaining yourself to people. You don't need to keep justifying yourself to people. You don't need to keep explaining why you want to do something or why you want to do something in a certain way. You know, recently I came across a video of one of my favorite singers ever talking about the fact that she now feels like she is expressing herself, not explaining herself. And I thought, wow, that is amazing, because that's where I want to be, and that's where I am aiming for, and that's where I would love you to aim for, where You can stop explaining yourself and you can start expressing yourself. We often have this feeling like we have to somehow get permission to say or do what we want to say or do. And I'm not naive enough to think that everyone in the world has the ability to say or do whatever they want. That's not what I'm talking about here. But for those of us who do live in situations where We are free to make decisions about what we want to say in the world, what we want to do, how we want to earn an income, and all these different things. We need to start appreciating that, and we need to stop trying to justify every move that we make, stop trying to explain to someone who doesn't get it. We don't owe anyone anything in that regard. We don't owe anyone an explanation for why something is calling to us to do, or why we feel a certain way, or why there is something that we want to say in the world in the way that we want to say it. When I first started as a coach back in 2016, I was in a very small world of coaching where there was a very specific way of talking about things. And if you're curious, it's kind of a little niche called the Three Principles. And in the Three Principles world, there was a way of talking about the topic that most people were following, except for me. I had my own way of discussing everything, and I was criticized by some people at the time for taking a new approach. Well, I didn't see it as taking a new approach. It was simply the way that I could talk about this and share it with people. It almost wasn't even a choice for me. It was kind of like, I'm either gonna say it in my own way, I'm gonna say it this way, or I'm not going to say it because That's just the way it is. And I remember one time getting into a little back and forth with someone who was a very big name in that realm, and he was saying to me, you know, you're ruining this whole conversation by the way you're discussing things, etc., etc. And I was like, you know, why do I have to justify my voice to you or to anyone else? I don't. And so I didn't. So I kept talking about it in my own way. And over the years, it's still been something that has been underneath every single thing that I've shared, even though I don't talk about the quote-unquote 3 principles anymore. It's still the thing that underscores everything. And lately, I've just realized how important it has been for me to not have to explain explain myself to anybody, to just express myself in the way that I want to, to create what I want to create. And every once in a while, I need to remind myself of that, and that's what I want to share with you today. I want to remind you that You don't owe anyone an explanation. If you want to share a message with the world that is meaningful to you, then just start sharing that message with the world. You don't have to explain why you're doing it. You don't have to explain how you're doing it. You don't have to explain anything. So, you know, I feel like there are far too many people who are not only listening to other people's voices in this regard, but they're listening to something within their own self that is saying, you can't do this because you haven't earned the right to, you know, you haven't done what you need to do to deserve the ability to express yourself in the way that you want to. Well, that's just not true. It's just baloney. There is nothing that is acting as a gatekeeper. You have permission, period. You don't have to earn the right to do such and such or say such and such. You don't have to. You don't have to deserve anything. You deserve everything just by being who you are. I'm going to say that again. You deserve everything because you are here and you are you. So deserving plays no part in it. Earning plays no part in it. So what are we all waiting for? Are we waiting for some, you know, anointed moment when we can just put ourselves forward and say what we want and express ourselves without explaining this, that, or other reason why? Let's just stop waiting. There's no reason to wait anymore. There's no reason to be hemmed in by any kind of rules around how we do certain things or even what we do. If I have changed my mind about how I want to share my messages with people— so I'm using YouTube more, I'm using Insight Timer, the app, I'm using my books on Amazon, I've got more planned and all these kinds of things and talk— if I want to do that, I don't need to explain why. Anybody? I don't need to have an internal conversation that justifies the changes that I am making. I don't have to explain myself. I can just start expressing myself. So that's my message to you today: stop explaining yourself and start expressing yourself. You'll be amazed at how much you can do and how much you can achieve and how much you can create when you stop waiting for permission from yourself or from anyone else to express yourself.
