Reframing a problem? How about de-framing it altogether?

Hi there, it's Mary Schiller. I have a few minutes in between calls and tasks today, so I wanted to jump online here in the group and chat with you for a few minutes about a topic that came to mind yesterday as I was listening to a book called The Art of Possibility by the Zanders, Benjamin Zander and his wife, I believe her name is Rosamund. I might have that wrong. But something came to mind as I was listening to that book that I thought might be helpful to you today, and that is the idea of reframing that many of us are very familiar with. So let's say, for example, something happens that isn't exactly the way we wanted it to turn out. You know, like in my case, as I mentioned on a previous video, I think about disappointment We had a buyer for our home and that deal fell through. And so in the traditional sense of kind of reframing, I might have said, well, let's look at the bright side. You know, it gives us a chance to hang out here in New York longer, or we have a relative who just moved here. Okay, well, that means that we get to spend some more time with her. Or I could have kind of done all of those sorts of reframing techniques in order to make a situation look better to me. But what is so unique, I think, about the conversation that we're involved in— hi there, I'm not sure who's giving me the thumbs up, but I appreciate it. One of the things that's so interesting for me about this conversation that we're engaged in here is that it's not about reframing. Oh, hi Paul, good to see you. Thanks for being here. We are actually talking about deframing. So, you know, if you think about it, it's actually pretty interesting, the different frames that we draw around ourselves and around the lives we live. We have literally in our heads a picture of who we are. We have a picture of what we're capable of. We have a picture of what it's possible for us to do and what it's impossible for us to do. We have a picture of what we think our life is supposed to look like or should look like. And it's very interesting because if you start to look at those things in terms of the three principles conversation, you start to see that in fact that entire frame is made of thought. Pardon me. It's made of nothing, in fact, because thought doesn't have any weight or substance to it. Hi, Joel, good to see you. So it's always struck me as funny now, since I've been in this conversation, that we would want to reframe something when in fact the frame itself doesn't even exist. So if you really kind of want to draw a picture of this in your mind— funny that I'm putting it that way— but you might say, well, okay, so we have this frame around an idea that we have of who we are or what we should be or how something should have gone for us, and then we're kind of erasing that frame and then maybe looking a little bit to the side and drawing a new frame and saying, well, I can look at that same situation over here in this different frame, and now things may look a little bit different to me. But what's actually true is that if we start to just notice that the frame exists at all, that it's there as thought, it suddenly starts to move outward and move outward and move outward. Until you realize that there is no frame. It would be impossible to put a frame around you. How could that possibly happen? I mean, really, even if you look at this from an intellectual point of view or a sort of a concrete point of view, How could you really ever put a frame around yourself, around your capabilities, around opportunities? You know, it starts to— when you really start to break that down, it begins to look rather nonsensical that we could ever see ourselves that way. And yet, that's what we're doing when we keep listening to thinking that tells us we are this type of person. Person, or we only can do these sorts of things, or our choices are either this A or this B and there's nothing else. So while I— hi, Iris, thanks for joining— while I appreciate what people are trying to say when they're talking about reframing something, it's still playing with the same substance that has nothing to it, and that's thought. So why not just get rid of the frame altogether and see what we see? Yesterday when I was chatting with a client of mine, I realized that one of the things that's happened to me since I started to understand a little bit more about my own creative potential and, and all of that was that I said I felt like I had been driving the car, a car, looking down at the road right in front of the headlights, you know. And when you learn to drive, of course they tell you don't look right in front of the car, you want to look as far out as you can, all the way into infinity, that that's the safest way to drive. Well, how many of us are looking down at the pavement in front of the car and thinking that that's all there is. That's the little frame that we're looking through, when in fact, if we just lifted our head up and looked outward, we would see that there is an infinite vista in front of us that isn't just a figment of our imagination. It's not a mirage. It's actually who we are and what we are capable of, meaning we have infinite capabilities. So that's why I titled this Reframing versus Deframing, because reframing is still keeping us in this imaginary box that we have created for ourselves and have been listening to via thought. When we realize that all of those frames and all of those ideas of are thought-created and not really worth listening to a lot of the time, then all of those kind of mazes and things that we have developed for ourselves in our heads start to fade away, and we start to experience the incredible power that we have in this human form. And for me, it's been a real revelation, particularly over this past year, and in some subsequent videos I'll talk a little bit more about what I've seen in that regard. But what's become so obvious to me, I'll share this with you, is that because I started to recognize those frames that I had built around myself and started to see that they were actually just figments of my imagination and weren't real, I've been able to experience a tremendous surge in my own creative flow, my own creative abilities, and I've really started to understand a lot more about what I'm actually capable of. And I'm just on the tip of the iceberg there. That's what's so exciting is when you realize that you have this whole vista in front of you to explore in terms of what you're capable of. You want to just keep going, and you just want to keep looking there and keep exploring that and finding out what's, what's possible. Hi Daniel, thanks for joining. And so that's what I would love for you to do, even if you just took a few minutes today and kind of started to go, hey, wait a minute, you know, if I think I am this type of person, is that Is that really something I need to listen to? I don't even want you to, you know, ask whether it's true or not. It's more a question of, do I really need to listen to that? And what happens if I don't? You know, what happens if I kind of see that for what it is, which is a thought-created version of who I am instead of who I really am? What might happen? You know, what might appear to me to do or to try or to create? So I would love to hear if you give this a try and start to kind of notice when you're framing something for yourself, when you're framing yourself, I should say, and what happens instead of reframing, instead of trying to, you know, think more positively about something or you know, change the way something looks to you. If instead of that, you just start to see that that whole framework is imaginary, and in fact there are no limits around you, even when it looks like there are. This is the beautiful part of this. Even when it looks to me like I have limitations, somewhere now I know that that's not so. Somewhere I know that, that isn't the truth, and that alone is enough to free up so much of this wealth that we all have inside. It's just such a thrill for me to, to experience that and to experience that in other people. So that's about all I have time for today because I have to jump on a call with someone. But I would love to hear your comments about noticing the fact that you don't have to reframe, but with this understanding, knowing that there is no frame around you and around your potential and around who you are. Thanks so much, you guys. I'll talk to you again soon.