In this short self‑help video, coach and author Mary Shiller introduces a rapid, yoga‑free method for easing stress. She asks viewers to briefly recall common stressors—money, work, relationships, health, etc.—and then challenges the usual belief that these external factors cause stress. Drawing on the principles from her book The Joy Formula, Shiller argues that stress is generated by our internal thinking, not by outside events. She illustrates this with a story about a toddler’s favorite toy, “Brownie,” showing that comfort comes from the child’s internal state, not any magical property of the toy. The key takeaway is that we don’t need to change external circumstances or force positive thinking; we simply need to notice that stress originates inside us. By observing this, the underlying joyful self can surface, providing immediate relief. Shiller ends with an encouraging reminder that the “magic” lies within each person.
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Hello there. I'm Mary Shiller, coach and author of The Joy Formula, here to help you live a happier, more joyful, simpler, more fantastic life. All of those adjectives. This is a video if you are feeling stressed, you're going to love this because I'm calling it the instant, no yoga required way to relieve stress. And in this video, I'm going to enlist the help of this little guy, so stay tuned for that. If you've read The Joy Formula, you might be a little bit ahead of the game here. But for anyone who hasn't, that's okay, because here's how it works. I'd like you to take just a few seconds and think about the things in your life that are causing you stress, or that do on a routine basis, even if they aren't right this minute. Might be things like money, work, family, dealing with difficult people, commuting, health problems, moving, divorce. You know, the list is endless, pretty much. So all of those things really look like they're causing us stress. And I really get that because that's what I used to think. But ever since finding out about the principles, that I talk about in The Joy Formula, I see all of this very, very differently. And what I've come to see is that nothing on that list is actually causing my stress. It just looks like it is. It's all kind of a great illusion that happens when thought comes into play. The only thing we're ever really experiencing is what's going on in here. We're never experiencing anything that's on the outside of us, even when it looks that way. So now I'm going to prove it to you with, uh, what's his name, Brownie here. So think about a child who is very, very upset. They are in the stroller and Dad is pushing them through the store and they're very angry, crying, having a bit of a tantrum. Then Dad remembers that he's got Brownie in the diaper bag. And Brownie happens to be the toddler's absolute favorite toy. So, he pulls Brownie out of the bag and hands Brownie to the toddler. And toddler immediately stops crying and hugs Brownie and is just so much better. Might be sobbing a little bit, but is calmed down. So let me ask you this. Is there anything magical about Brownie? Does he have like magic beams coming out of him that create happiness? Or do you think it has something to do with what's going on inside the toddler in that moment? I think you know the answer to that question, unless you know something about Brownie that I don't. The same is true for all of the things on that list of stressors. They might look like they are causing us difficulty. It may look like that person is causing us stress. But just like Brownie here, nothing on that list or anything else on the outside world, in the outside world, has the power to, like, shoot magic beams at us. Or nothing has germs on it that cause stress so that if we're near it, it's going to stress us out. It just doesn't work like that. Everything we experience comes from the inside. And what is so beautiful about that is we then realize that none of those things on the list, you know, job, money, spouse, health, none of those things have to change in order for us to feel better, in order for that stress to dissolve. We simply need to see that that stress is coming from our thinking. And we don't need to change our thinking. We don't need to say, oh, I gotta think positively. None of that. Just notice that that's where your stress is being generated from. It's coming from inside you. Once you see that that's what's going on, it's a huge game changer, and it means that, wow, I really am stressing myself out from my own thinking. So maybe I'll just not look at that thinking right now. And it's amazing what'll happen when you do that, because underneath all that stressed-out thinking is this joyful creation that you are. And it's always there, always waiting for you, always ready to jump up to the surface. And yeah, it can be helpful sometimes to grab a bear, but the magic is inside you. And just remember that next time you feel stressed. I'll talk to you again soon. Thanks for watching.
