Mary Schiller describes a mental technique for solving problems: notice when you're thinking about one, let the thought settle without trying to fix it, and wait for insights to surface naturally. She compares active problem-solving to shaking a glitter jar, which clouds clarity.
Hi there, I'm Mary Schiller, coach and author of The Joy Formula, here with a video for you about the simplest way to find a solution to any problem. Now, that's a pretty big statement I just made. The simplest way to find a solution to any problem? Yes, and I'm going to prove it to you with the help of this jar. My daughter likes to make what she calls glitter jars. So they're jars of water to which she adds a bunch of glitter, and you can kind of see the glitter sitting in the bottom of this jar right now. And I love these because they're a constant reminder that I have the best tool available to solve any problem, and it's right at my fingertips all the time. I used to think that the best way to solve a problem was to figure it out. I would go through different scenarios, I would write pro and con lists, I would talk about it with people, and basically I would just try to sort it out the best way I could by looking at all the avenues and all the possibilities in front of me. And it wasn't until about a year or so ago that I realized there was another way to solve problems. So the way that I used to do things was I would take the problem, I would add it to my jar, meaning this, and I would stir it up and shake it up and really create a lot of turbulence. Yeah, this glitter looks really pretty, but inside my head, all that thinking was just really getting complicated, messy. And hard to see through. Like, I can't see you through this, through this jar. But I noticed something. The more that I just simply noticed that I was thinking a lot, not even really paying attention to what the thoughts were, but just noticing that I was thinking a lot about the problem I was trying to solve, the more my thinking would sort of settle down. It was almost like a magic trick. I would go, "Oh wow, I'm really thinking a lot about XYZ right now." And then suddenly there would be some space cleared. And I just kept noticing and noticing and noticing that the less I thought about something— or I should say, the less I focused on my thinking about it, because we can't control what comes into our minds. So it was really more like the less I focused on it The clearer things started to look to me. I could actually see through them to a solution. And this goes against everything we're taught to do. We are taught to analyze and figure out and decipher and discuss, when in fact the simpler way to find a solution is to not focus on the problem. If the problem comes up in your mind, it's okay. You don't have to try to spin it in a positive way or do anything with it. All you have to do is just notice that that thought is there and go, oh yeah, there it is, okay, and just leave it there. And I promise you that the more you can kind of see that happening and the more you can just kind of acknowledge it but not do anything with it the more clarity you'll have when you're trying to find a solution to something. It's like everybody says they get their best ideas in the shower or while they're driving. There's a reason for that. It's because in those times you're not focused on the thing that you're trying to solve, so there's room in your brain for new insights to come in. You're never going to find a solution by mixing up old thinking and trying to make it into something new. It just doesn't work like that. You'll find the solution when your thinking kind of settles down, when you can give it some space just by seeing that it's there. That's when the new solutions will come to you. And I guarantee you, I guarantee you, not many people say that, but I do, that they will be an even better solution in that space. You'll find even better solutions in that space than you would if you were trying to manufacture something new out of old thinking. I'd love to hear your comments, so please share them with me. Thanks so much for watching. I'll talk to you again soon. Bye now.
