This Has to STOP

Hello, bonjour, it's Mary in Paris, actually in Paris. And I am in a rather busy park, so you'll probably hear some Parisian sounds in the background. It's also been raining off and on. Maybe not the best moment for me to sit down on a bench and make this video, but something was on my mind and I wanted to share it with you. The first time that I came to Paris, I was 19. I came here with my family. I was in college at the time. And the moment I arrived here— we went to several places on the trip— but the moment that I arrived here, I was like, I want to live here someday. I just had that feeling inside. You know what I'm talking about? Here they call it coup de cœur. It's like your heart gets struck and you just have that sense like, this is where I want to be. I did not get back to Paris until I was 36 when I married my husband. I had gotten divorced in between there, married and divorced, and on our honeymoon we came here and I had that same coup de cœur, that same feeling of, yes, I want to live here. Fortunately, my husband felt the same way. Well, it took us another 11 years after that before we got a foothold here. We were able to purchase a small apartment in central Paris so we could come over here frequently. We also moved from California to New York for a few reasons, but also to make it easier to come over here more often. And then it took another 9 years to get over here and live here permanently. So from the time I had that first moment of thinking I want to live in Paris, I was 19, and when I finally moved over here full-time, I was 56. And in that latter portion, you may have heard me talk about the fact that I got fired when I was 55 from my job and I had to figure out some way to make a living, and I wanted to do something that would be more meaningful to me. So I decided to become a coach, and I knew that I wanted to move over here, so it had to be portable. And basically, I worked my you-know-what off to make it happen, and I continue to do that. I have navigated a lot of ups and downs personally and professionally since I've been a coach. I've had really great years with income. I've had some years that weren't so great. I have kept going and I have never given up. And so now that I'm at a point where I'm sort of reinventing my business again and I'm really excited about the direction I'm going in, I just know that it will work because I'm not going to quit. That's all there is to it. I'm not someone who gives up on a dream, and I have a big dream when it comes to reaching people with some very specific messages like don't give up on what you want, hence this video. And I think a big piece of that conversation has to be that too many people quit when someone doesn't go the way— when something, excuse me, doesn't go the way that they want it to. They suddenly have this feeling like it's all for naught or they're doing something wrong or I don't know what the thoughts are. But my experience has been that those thoughts mean literally nothing. They're there but we don't have to listen to them. And so every time I've had a downturn in my business, for example, I've not really been worried because I know that I will figure it out because I always have. I've gotten through things much tougher than that, and I'm— I just know, as you do, that we are capable of so, so much. You can look back at times in your life when you haven't given up, and you can see what happens when you don't give up. So if you are wanting to follow some passion or dream of yours, but it seems impossible, or it seems like it's going to take a really long time, or whatever the situation might be, I just want you to realize that you have it within you to make it happen. You just do. And you've got to start to not pay attention to any ideas that say otherwise, because those ideas are simply false. They're wrong. You don't have to pay attention to them. The other piece that I really want to be clear about is that it does take effort but that doesn't mean it has to be horrible. I enjoy what I'm doing. I've always enjoyed what I'm doing. Even in those downturn times, I've still had fun trying to pull from myself, from deep within myself, and see what I had and bring it to the fore. I've always enjoyed seeing what my creativity can do, what my capabilities are. For me, this whole adventure is about self-discovery. It's like What is in here that wants me to discover it? You know, what is in here that wants to be expressed into the world? And I want you to remember that even if it takes effort, it's worth it. It's worth it. Start to eliminate the things that aren't supportive of you. That's something that's been hugely important to me recently is recognizing certain things that I was doing that weren't helpful in terms of just my daily habits or, you know, schedules, whatever, and reconfiguring things so that it is more beneficial to me and it is supportive of where I want to go next. Surround yourself with people who get what you're trying to do, even if they don't get exactly what it is, but people who get, oh yeah, she's wanting to follow her dreams and she's determined, and so I'm going to support her in that. You've got to find people like that. Who get what you're trying to do. Hugely important. So all this to say, what needs to stop is people quitting, people giving up way too soon, people listening to others who tell them they can't, or listening to thoughts in their own heads that say— whoop, beep— that say that they can't. And, you know, just get on with it. Get on with living the life that you truly want to live. In the end, the results, whatever those are, are whatever they are. But what's more important is you living a life that's exciting and interesting and pushes you and pulls you and lets you go in all different directions, ignites your creativity and your capability and all those beautiful qualities that you possess.