What does it mean to Take the Leap?
Mary Schiller walks through her three-week coaching program on overcoming mental blocks that keep people stuck. She shares how she shifted from scarcity thinking to abundance, and argues that trust in the universe is unnecessary because everything you need already exists. The real work is releasing expectations and examining the limiting beliefs that dissolve when you look at them closely.
Chapters
Hello, it's Mary Schiller, author and coach of MarySchiller.com. Happy to welcome you to the second of two free talks called Take the Leap. It is October 1st, 2018, and I'm coming to you today from my home in Paris, France. I would love to know who all is here. Here, so feel free to type a note into the chat and say hi and let us know where you are connecting from. Usually we have quite an international group. Hi, Lori from Orlando, so nice to see you here, Lori. Hi, Linda from France, of course. Hey, Mike Durham, North Carolina. Hi, Anna Greta. Hi, Lou from the UK. Hi, Gianni, good to see you. Northern Ireland. Anna Greta's in Denmark. Yep. Hi, Sherry from San Francisco, nice to see you here. How wonderful. This is great. This is great. I feel like all my friends are here. This is so, so cool. So thank you for joining. I want to just give you a couple of little clues about how to use this platform. If you're not familiar with Crowdcast, you can type into the chat box anytime. I will keep one eye over there. If you want to ask a question, it would be great if you could use the ask a question feature there just to the left of the chat, because then on the replay, I can— there will be a little marker there so people can see the questions, and then they can see where I have answered them if they want to just jump right to that part of the replay. So I think that's about it. I hope everybody's gotten off to a good start this week. It's, uh, definitely turning more fall-like here in Paris. I had to wear a scarf and a coat today, which was first time, but it's actually kind of nice, right? The changing of the seasons. Being a native Californian and from where I was living in California, we didn't have a lot of change of seasons there. So I actually really enjoying this, and because the weather's not too severe here, it's really nice. So thanks everybody again for joining. And one thing I also want to mention before I kind of launch into the topic for today is that the Take the Leap program is now open for registration. As you may know, it will be open until this coming Friday, which is the 5th of October. I'll close it at about midnight Paris time. So that's, you know, in the evening Eastern time. If you register by this time, no, let's see, by about 6 o'clock Eastern time tomorrow, which is the 2nd, you'll be entitled to a couple of really cool bonuses. One is an extra group call with me a couple of weeks after the program ends. And you can bring a guest for free. So if there's a special someone who you would like to bring into the program with you, if you sign up by tomorrow evening, you can invite them along for free as a gift from you and from me. And I've noticed that there are a few people here who have already taken the leap. Do you wanna raise your hands in the chat box and let us know that you have been brave enough to take the leap? Awesome. Lou says me. Lori. Yeah, that's cool. That's really cool. Yeah. I'm so excited to start the program. Um, the Facebook group is already open and the program itself starts officially on Monday the 8th. It's a 3-week program that is audio-based. Plus we'll have 2 sessions like this, uh, during the week where we can get together and chat about what you're all learning. So I would like to start this session today with a question for you. Um, hi, Jesupal, nice to see you. So I have a question for you. Uh, in the call that I did on Friday, I asked what it would look like and what it might feel like for you to take the leap. And today I'd like to ask you a question. What does it seem like is maybe standing in your way a little bit from taking the leap? And take the leap can mean anything from, you know, wanting to just have a different experience of life to maybe there's something that you are dying to do. But, um, oh, that's okay, just while I was kind of wondering about that. But, um, I'm curious to know what it looks might like it might be standing in your way of really living the kind of life that you want to live. You know, that was my kind of slogan, my tagline for such a long time. You have permission to live the life you want to live. And I'm curious to know what seems like is preventing you from, you know, having the kind of life that you really want and doing the things that you want and having just a generally nicer experience about it. Um, Sherry loved that slip of the tongue there just while— so let me know, uh, in the chat what looks like might be standing in your way of taking the leap. Uh, Lou says cash. Excuse me, can anybody relate to that one? You're missing the cash you need to do, uh, the thing that you want to do. How much do you need, Lou? Let's get specific here. How much do you need? I'll talk about that. Let me make a note of that because I have something that I can say about that and I don't want to forget. Cliff says, yes, there's something standing in the way. I'd be curious to know what that looks like for you, Clifford. Hi, Lori. Me being so used to doing things and seeing life the way I'm used to, so being unfamiliar, maybe being hesitant to change, being unsure what to expect. Okay, I'm going to take a note of that. Not sure what to expect. Okay, uh, Lou says £50,000 a year would be good. That's great, Lou. Why don't we make it £100,000 while we're at it, or maybe £200,000? Would that do you? I'll talk about that in a second. Does anybody else have anything that they feel like is standing in their way of, you know, of really living the way that you want to and having the kinds of experiences that you want to have and And, you know, maybe just having a different quality of life. Linda says also cash, Clifford, money and know-how and a little fear. Gotcha. Thanks for those honest answers. I will address all of them. I'm going to share my own view of that from before I took the leap, which was in 2014. Let me see. Just Bounces, running out of money, being homeless, not trusting that we're innately safe, not trusting I'll be able to handle the things For example, not hearing my wisdom in difficult times. Oh, very interesting, Just Paul. So not being sure that, you know, you have everything that you need at all times to take care of any situation that arises. Anna Greta, for me, it's like what stands in the way is getting used to the new experiences of living. So kind of like what Laurie was saying, that there's a sense that, um, there's some comfort, I guess, in what we do know and maybe some discomfort and wondering what's on the other side. You know, if I take the leap, well, what's over there, right? Hi, Mike, good to see you. Where I am is known and comfortable, why rock the boat? Oh, that's a, that's a, ooh, there's a lot of richness in that comment, Mike, thank you for that. Lots of really amazing things that you guys are sharing. For me, back in 2014 and before that, there were a lot of things that looked like they were keeping me from living the life that I wanted to live. Thanks, Mike. Many of them were things that had happened to me in the past, so they weren't even current things, but they seemed like they were kind of living on in me. Can anybody relate to that? That past events and in my case, it was some trauma that I had been through, and I thought that those things were permanently part of my experience. And so I thought that they were always going to weigh me down. Let me know if that sounds familiar, like things from the past that seem to just sort of be hanging on, like, I don't know, like some kind of monster on our backs all the time, things that we can't seem to, quote unquote, let go of. That was a big part of it for me, as well as like some of you have said, I didn't really know what it meant to live in a different way. To me, life simply was what it was. Life was what it looked like to me, and I didn't really have a sense of how to kind of unravel that and see if there was anything else under there. Uh, hi Doug, you've taken the leap. Yeah, opening to just knowing all is well anyway. Love that, love that. So that was one thing that for me felt like was holding me back, were these things that had happened to me in the past that I couldn't seem to either let go of or experience in a different way. Or, you know, I tried all different kinds of things to, you know, help me see it differently, and, and none of that was working. And then there were also things that were happening at that time. Like some of you mentioned, I had lots and lots and lots of money stress. I mean, it was ridiculous. And I didn't even know that I had that kind of stress and that I was so focused on it until my daughter, who was in her mid-20s at the time, pointed it out to me. And she said, Mom, you know, you talk about money more than anybody I know, and I don't want to hear about it anymore. And I was like, whoa, that's intense. I didn't even know I was doing that. Didn't even know I was doing that. I didn't realize how much of my brain was tied up in money-related thoughts, particularly I don't have enough and I'll never have enough. Jeanette says, doubting that I'll do what it takes. Interesting, Jeanette. So you're thinking maybe something is missing within you. That's interesting. Hi, Gianni. I found it hard letting go of negative feelings from my past. That's pretty much where I found myself as well. I had a lot of feelings that one might describe as negative. I had a lot of anger. I had a lot of fear. I had a lot of guilt. I felt like things, made decisions that obviously had happened in the past, so I couldn't go back and change them because they were a done deal. And so all of these things put together, plus a whole lot more that I'm not even going into, really seemed like a big wall in front of me, like impenetrable. And it wasn't like you, I'm sure. It wasn't like I hadn't tried to break down that wall and see if there was something I could do to fix and change my experience. I had tried a lot of different things to do that. And it was still there. It was still there. So it was what I would call sort of tangible things like events in my past and money and things like that. And then also, like Gianni mentioned, a lot of feelings that I had that seemed to continually crop up and continually look to me like I was powerless over them. And these two things, not just for me but for you and for a lot of people, cause a tremendous amount of suffering. If we are looking at events and situations and circumstances as permanent and as unchangeable, and, you know, well, that's just the way it is, I don't have the money, you know, that kind of thing, or I don't trust myself, to, to do this. You know, we start looking at things from that angle, and we start looking at feelings as having this immense power and control over us. And it can really, really look real to us that we can't do whatever it is that we want to do. So let me go back to some of the things that you were saying. So several of you mentioned money as a reason why you feel you can't move forward. And that is something that can look very tangible to people. It looks very real. What I have noticed in myself, because as I mentioned, I used to have tons and tons of money stress, what I've noticed is that when I started to examine money more closely, I started realizing something kind of interesting. Which was that if I wanted the money for something, if I really wanted the money for something, I was able to have it. Like, for example, when, when we wanted to move over here, we needed a certain amount of money in our bank account in order to show it to the immigration authorities, and we knew how much we needed and we didn't have it. And I said, you know what, we need that amount of money in the bank in order to make this move. And I know that there's going to be a way for it to show up. I don't know what that is, but I'm going to wait until something comes to me to do. And wouldn't you know it, as soon as we needed that amount of money in the bank to show the immigration authorities, it was there. It was absolutely there. And it didn't take a lot of effort to get it. It was a series of things, decisions, listening to, you know, inspiration and acting on that. And then voilà, there it was. And I've noticed in the past that even when things looked really desperate to me money-wise, like when I was living at the poverty line, literally, I still was able to have the money that I needed to pay the bills and to buy food, even if it was just barely. I was still able to do it. And I started realizing, you know, it seems to me that money is no different from anything else that we need, like air, for instance, that it's, it's simply here. And all we have to do to have what we need is to recognize that we have what we need. And I know that that sounds really simplistic. Um, oh, hi Mimi. Uh, my husband and kids need me. That's one thing that, that seems like it's holding Mimi back. So if money looks like a reason for you not to do something, I, I'd like you to, just for sake of argument, kind of flip it around and ask yourself, I want to do this thing, so how could I pay for that? And make the plans to go do the thing. Like, if it's, um, I want to take a trip around the world, start booking your tickets, and the money to pay for it will start to emerge. I am not joking. This is how it seems to work. It seems to work like this. We have a desire to do something, and then the resources become available to us. We listen to ideas that come to us and we act on them, not the other way around. Not, oh, I have to wait and wait and wait for this money to show up, and then I will make a decision about, you know, finally taking that trip around the world or whatever it might be for you. It's, no, I'm committing to taking the trip around the world. And I will figure out the money part as it, as I need to. So that simple, relatively simple shift in the way I saw money has changed everything for me. I had a friend of mine actually ask me, you know, how do you, how are you able to travel so much? And I realized, well, I just make the plans to travel. And then I figure out, you know, how to, how to earn the money to cover it. That's all I do. And I do. And then the money arises to pay the bill. And so that seems like a simple shift, but it's been massive. And that happened because, because I wanted to see money in a different way. I, part of my taking the leap 4 years ago was I want to see money in an entirely new way. I was tired of living with that sensation of scarcity, of not feeling like I had enough ever, like, you know, always worrying about where it was going to come from. So a major part of my leap into life was committing to seeing and experiencing money in an entirely new way. And now that I'm kind of on the other side of it, I can't even relate to how I used to see it and all of the stress that I used to experience about it, because now it just seems so different to me. It seems like simply another representation of this abundance that you and I are, and that money no longer seems like it's something out there that I have to go and get and scratch for. It seems like it's something that comes through us, that, you know, that we are the source of that money just like, um, everything else that gets created through us. So I'm curious to know if those of you who mentioned money, if that did anything for you in terms of how you can start to see money and start to realize that it's a creation from you, just like everything else. It isn't something that you have to go out and scratch for. That can be a big thing though that it looks like is standing in our way. Another thing that you guys mentioned, excuse me, was that you're not sure what to expect on the other side if you start to live differently, if you start to live more from intuition, instinct, inspiration— lots of I's there— if you start to live more spontaneously, that, you know, what is that going to feel like if you're not in your comfort zone anymore. And one thing that I can say about it is that every time I have reached the end of my comfort zone and said I'm going past it, what's been on the other side has always been something much more magnificent than the comfort zone I was living in. So I'll give you an example of that. The way that I used to do business, when I was trying to create a business a few years ago before I took the leap, I was very, very concerned about following certain rules and certain plans and certain timelines. I was kind of obsessed with doing everything in a certain order that people had told me I was supposed to do in order to have a successful business. And as a result of that, my business went nowhere. It was so time-consuming and it wasn't bringing in any money at all. It was just like a total drain in every sense— time, energy, everything. It wasn't very fun and I just didn't like it. So I gave up. This time things have been very different because I haven't found that same feeling of urgency to try to plan everything out and to follow some kind of step-by-step plan except for the one that occurs to me in the moment. And some of you may use the word trust. Is that, is that sounding like, like what it looks to you like you need to learn how to trust yourself more? You need to experience a few things so you can trust that you'll know what to do? Let me know if, if that's kind of where you're coming from, because from my side It looks like trust is irrelevant. Doug says yes. Okay, good. I'm glad you said that, Doug. To me, it looks like trust is irrelevant. It looks to me like we are living and breathing in this sea of everything that we could ever need, anything we could ever want. And Jeanette says yes. And it's literally like everywhere. I wish I could give you a visual of what's in my mind right now, but it's literally like this space is just glittering with everything we could ever need or want. We don't have to even hardly move a muscle to get it except to go like this and pick it up. So there's nothing that we need to trust because it's already here. Terry says, when you know who you are is okay, Oh, sorry. When you know who you are is okay, there's no need for trust. Exactly. So we're already in this, um, this space where everything already exists for us. It's already here. It doesn't get sort of manufactured somehow, or, um, or I don't know what the word is that I'm looking for. It's not like what we need needs to be conjured up. It's already here. So to me, it looks like, you know, trusting that we will know what to do or that we will have what we need seems like a waste of time. It's like trusting that this pen will fall if I drop it. I don't need to trust that that will happen. I know that that will happen. And one way you can test this for yourself around money too, or anything that it looks feel like you need to trust in order for it to occur, to occur, is to look back on your own life experience. Look at times when you needed a certain amount of money, when you needed somebody to do something for you, when you needed a solution to what looked like a major problem or even a small problem. And what happened? What did a solution come to you? Did some money show up somehow? Did you get an idea for how you could earn it? So let me know in the comments. Can you think of an example, or maybe many examples, of instances like that when, um, when you were looking for an answer to something and an answer came to you? Uh, Doug, is knowing we are whole and complete includes money? Exactly. Money's not separate. Money is, is one of these glittering jewels that's all around us. It's just part of the same beautiful, abundant space that we are part of and living in, and that has everything for us already that we could ever need. Terry, who we are is already complete and whole, nothing to add to be okay. Now let's play. I love that, Terry. So yeah, that's a good point too, because when we can start to look for examples of this to kind of prove it to ourselves, then it's really freeing because you're like, right, every time I've needed an answer to something, it has shown up. And that means that I don't have to spend my time worrying about that anymore. I don't have to spend my time trying to trust that everything's okay. I mean, I could give you a million examples from my own life. About, you know, how an answer has occurred to me. Let me get to Mike's question. So I need to trust myself? No, trust is not necessary, Mike. It's like saying I need to trust that the sun is there even though I can't see it right now because it's getting dark. There's no trust involved. It's a certainty that comes from simply— I mean, just like whoever it was who, you know, figured out gravity or or whoever it was who, you know, figured out anything relating to physics or science or whatever. It's experimenting and going, oh right, every time I've needed an answer to something, I've gotten one every single time. I can't honestly think of a time in my life when that has failed. It hasn't always been what I expect, and I think that's where we can get into some difficulty. Somebody mentioned that word, um, you don't know what to expect. I forgot who it was, I'm sorry. But sometimes the answer isn't what we expect, but it is an answer. Hi Mimi, is needing something the same as just wanting something? Because yes, when I really need something, it appears, but not when I want it. At least that's what it's looked what it looks like? That's a really interesting question, Mimi, and I'm, I'm pondering it because I think where we can get a little tripped up here is in wanting something because we think it's going to change the way we feel or it's going to make our life better somehow. That's where I was before I took the leap. I was looking at circumstances, I was looking at my past, I was looking at feelings, and I desperately wanted them to be different. I wanted something because I thought it was going to help change my experience. And what I'm about to say is a huge feature of the Take the Leap program, which is that we— when we can turn away from the notion of wanting our experience to be different, that is a major game changer. Because when we keep wanting something to change because we think it will lead to a better feeling, better life, a better anything, where we're kind of locked in this endless loop. And that endless loop isn't telling us anything that's true, because we don't need anything at all to have a wonderful experience of life. We're already in a wonderful experience called life, no matter what it may look to us at any given time. So if we're wanting something in order to blank, even if it's kind of subtle, we're really missing the point here. We're free to want anything. We can want anything. If it's attached to some sort of expectation or an agenda, then that's when that suffering feeling starts to come in, and we don't have to go in that direction. We can, you know, turn our inner gaze away from that and see that we need nothing. So we're free to want anything. Let me know if that makes sense, Mimi. Oh, good. Thank you. Thank you for that. So, you know, I'm thinking again about where I was a few years ago and how much I wanted things to change because I thought that that was the ticket for me to have a better life. You know, I was so incredibly— as I may have mentioned on the other call, I was so incredibly desperate to have a different experience. I was willing to do anything, even experiment with some kind of time machine to go back and change the past. Um, and obviously that wasn't going to happen. Uh, Terry, our well-being is not dependent on things we might want. That's exactly right, Terry. The unfortunate thing is that a lot of us look at life that way. We, we have this sense that we have to have something or we have to have a certain person in our life or we have to have a certain type of home or we have to have a certain quote-unquote standard of living or we have to have a certain amount of money sitting on our bank account or any number of things seem like they have to be kind of all lined up, right? Like ducks in a row in order for our sense of self to be okay. And on top of that, like we were saying earlier, we get this— we have this idea that we have to trust ourselves and that we have to attract things and we have to be, you know, living with a sense of abundance instead of scarcity mindset. And we have to do all of these things in order to have— here's the kicker— something we already have. Something we already have. We're chasing our tails, we're running in circles, we're doing, doing, doing, we're wanting, wanting, wanting, and everything we already want is already present. It's already here. It's you, it's me, it's everything, it's everywhere. And the reason I can say this with such certainty is because I have played with this idea and played with it and played with it and realized, well, where else would, uh, well-being or abundance or any of the things— where else would they be? Is there some magical place out there that I have to somehow find in order to have these things? You know, is there someplace I have to go and hunt for new ideas to, let's say, you know, make some money so that I can buy something, you know. No, it doesn't work like that. So little is required of us as human beings, it's kind of amazing. We don't have to work at having new ideas. What, what do we do to have a new idea? One pops into our minds. Just like that. We have the option to act on it or not act on it. And from where I'm sitting, I used to reject a lot of those ideas. I used to completely reject them out of hand, especially as we were kind of alluding to earlier, if they seem way outside my quote unquote comfort zone. And the difference in my life since I took this leap 4 years ago into a new way of experiencing life is I don't reject them out of hand anymore. Now I'm more often than not acting on them, and I'm seizing the day, as they say, carpe diem. And I'm living from that sense of spontaneity, and my life has completely changed as a result of, of living this way. And nothing looks impossible to me anymore because I don't see how anything could be impossible. If you and I are living in this and are part of this limitlessness, the spaciousness that human beings are, and we are literally surrounding and breathing in and out everything we could ever need, then what could possibly be impossible there? Uh, Mike, and then what is preventing us from seeing what you're talking about? That's a great question, Mike. Uh, oh, I also see there's another question here, so let me check that out too. Um, uh, I will answer the question, uh, that just Paul posted as soon as I answer Mike's. Then, what is preventing us from seeing what you're talking about? What is preventing that is that we are looking at a bunch of ideas that are so ingrained in our cultural conversation, in the self-help conversation, in the psychiatric and psychological conversation, things that have been accepted as truth that simply aren't, that once you start to kind of examine them, you can very easily start to poke holes in them. And most of them have to do with things like, uh, limitations that human beings supposedly have and control that human beings supposedly don't have and control that human beings supposedly do have. So for instance, one of the major errors I think that we are teaching one another is that we have some kind of constraints built into us as humans, that there are limits to what we can achieve, there are limits to what we can do, there are limits to us entirely. And I would put the question to you, what if that's not true at all? What if in fact there are no limits on you, no matter what the conversation has been for you up until this point and what you've heard in your own mind and what you've heard in the wider world? What if it simply isn't true that there are limitations on human beings? And what if the things that look really difficult to us that we have set as very high bars to leap over, what if those bars aren't even there? So from my perspective, Mike, it seems like we have been looking at a lot of things as true that simply aren't. And when you start to pick them apart, as I will do in this program, and, and really break them down into small pieces, they just dissolve into nothing. The more you look at them for what they are, and the more you actually start to experiment and test them and go, is that really true? Let me see, they just fall apart. And there are many, many, many of those that I will be going through in the Take the Leap program. Mimi, I think I finally get it. Don't expect things to improve my life, just enjoy life. Exactly, wonderful, Mimi, you said that very succinctly. Okay, and Jespal wants to know, will the program look at the suffering feeling when really wanting something in order to feel different? Absolutely, Jespal. I have several sections, excuse me, of the program will talk about what brings about that suffering and more importantly how to end it really easily and much faster than we may realize. One of the things that happened for me 4 years ago when I took this leap for myself was I was really able to end my post-traumatic stress disorder suffering very quickly when I realized that there was nothing wrong with any feeling that I was having, that every feeling I had, no matter what it was, was perfectly okay, and I didn't have to worry about having it. Whereas before, I saw certain sets of feelings that had to do with PTSD as being very problematic and worrisome and indicating that something was terribly wrong with me. The moment I realized, oh, you know what, human beings are designed to have lots of feelings, at all times, and we wouldn't be having them if they weren't the way we're designed. So why do I have to worry about that anymore? I guess I don't. So, uh, yeah, we will definitely be talking about that. So thanks for answer— asking, just fall, uh, Mike. That also pertains to your question, which is that— and Mimi's too— that when we can stop wanting our experience to be different and simply relax into whatever it is, embrace that and appreciate that, that changes everything because it stops looking like, you know, like anything at all has to change. And we can simply enjoy this amazing power that you and I have and that we're made of to have these incredible human experiences. Let me go back up here. Hi, Lori, I pasted in a comment, but don't think it came through. Okay, it occurred to me that I've been viewing that what is familiar is what is possible, but what is familiar wasn't always familiar. Exactly, it's an evolution. So what is unfamiliar now will become familiar. That's exactly right. It's only, and I think Mike has talked about this with me before too, it's only unfamiliar to you now, but you're right. Many things were unfamiliar to you before, and then they became familiar. So living from this space that I'm talking about, after we've taken this leap and we've committed to seeing life in this new way, we are more and more of the time going after, literally going after, towards what is unfamiliar and enjoying that experience of finding it, just like the explorers, you know, the people who discovered parts of the world that hadn't been found yet. You know, there's such a beautiful rush involved in going towards what is unfamiliar and saying, yeah, that's familiar. I don't really need to explore that anymore. What's over here? You know, let me see that. I can appreciate everything that I have seen already. And now I'm ready to move into something else. So thanks, Laurie. Sherry, hi. Well, Mary, so helpful. I recently had a big dream come true and was offered the chance to publish an essay in the New York Times. Wow. However, the story is about my family and the unconventional love we share, and a member of my clan does not want the story in the public. I've been suffering because I want this publication so badly. It has felt like a leap that got cut short. Is this a moment to let go of the wanting or to persevere in the possibility? How do we know? Uh, thank you. And she loved your insight too, Laurie. Uh, Sherry, what a wonderful question. Um, I guess I would say that, um, like anything else, you know, we can certainly want something for the fun of it. There's nothing wrong with that. And, um, I've also seen that sometimes when I have kind of said, you know, obviously this is not something that I need, it's something that I thought would be fun, and I've kind of just dropped it um, from my consciousness and, and not really concern myself with it anymore, it's amazing how something else can come up after it. I don't know if you've had that experience before where, you know, there's something that looked super bright and shiny and important and you really, really want it and, and all of that, and then you're like, you know, that doesn't seem like it's going to happen, and that's fine. And then something else shows up in its place. And also, if we can kind of subtly shift our gaze again and realize that there may be an opportunity for you to have a conversation with that person in your family, you know, if we can not listen to the blaring, I really, really want this so bad, I want to be published in the New York Times, and we can kind of just go, yeah, it's fine. You never know what will come to you to do or what might come to that person to do to have a different conversation. So it's totally okay to want things like that. It's also really helpful to know that in, in the scheme of this big life we're living, they are simply a game to be played. They don't have anything to do— as Terry's been pointing out several times— they don't have anything to do with our well-being or, or who we are, what we're capable of or what's possible for us. They're part of a game that we're playing, and we can have fun with that. However it turns out makes no difference. I think that the, the piece about expectations that we touched on earlier is so key because that to me is another source of people suffering, is that when we are listening, you know, intently to expectation-type thinking And we really want something and we want it to be just like this. And then when it doesn't turn out, you know, we get this horrible rush of disappointment instead of realizing that we have no idea what's even possible for us. And we don't have to listen to any expectation type thinking about anything at all. We can simply, you know, have a joyful desire and see if it can happen. And not worry about whether or not it does, because it literally makes no difference. Um, oh, Doug, I'm glad this has been helpful to you. Thank you so much. Really appreciate that. Expectations are the biggest disappointments. Yeah, Mimi. And the thing is that, um, when we can sort of— and this is also part of, um, what it means for me to take the leap is not listening anymore to expectations that come to mind because first of all, I've learned that I'm almost always wrong and they're almost always limiting. You know, I can't even count how many times I heard an expectation about something and I was like, I don't want to go there. And then what actually occurred was so much more abundant and amazing than anything I had in my head originally. I'm sure that that has happened to many of you as well. And so that's something, if you want to take something really tangible away from this talk, maybe one of many things I'm hoping you've taken away from this talk, but it would be to, if you have some expectation type thinking, don't worry about having it because it's normal, but you don't have to kind of follow where it goes. You can just go, yeah, hi there, you know, nice to see you, and then go on your merry way and not really worry about that anymore. So, um, so let me just take a quick pause while I grab some water, and I would love to know what other thoughts have come to you as we've been talking, or if you have any other questions about the program. Let me just check and see, uh, we have any more questions there. Let me just take a sip. So what else has come to mind in terms of the things that you said at the beginning that looked like they were standing in your way of taking a leap into a new way of experiencing life more or living the way that you would really want to? Have any of those things that looked like they were barriers to you started to look a little less solid? Can you, can you kind of see through them a little bit? Even things like Mimi said, you have a family to take care of. It's amazing how when we relax into all of this even more, it's amazing how many solutions and new ideas can come to us. Uh, hi Lori. It sounds like the how to go from the familiar to unfamiliar is the foundation of the program. So you'll help us play with that. Absolutely. This is all about seeing through the things that look like they're in our way. And then I call it take the leap, but it's more like falling gently into what's actually true and what's actually available to us and relaxing into that. If you imagine, you know, taking a leap sort of like falling back into the most amazing, if you like water, swimming place that you can imagine, a lake or a stream or whatever it is, and just relaxing in that. That's more of the sensation that will occur when you join me for the program, which I know you have, so that's exciting. Absolutely, Jani says. Fog is clearing, great Clifford. Falling gently into what is actually true and relaxing into it. Yeah, exactly, Sherry. So, you know, I think that we, the regular, I would say cultural conversation is about, you know, making it happen. And it's all very sort of forceful and we have to plow through our fears and we have to feel the fear and do it anyway. And we have to, you know, just, it's all very driven like this with two fists clenched, you know. And what I'm talking about is the complete and total opposite of that. It bears nothing, no resemblance to that at all. It is about recognizing some things that look really true but actually aren't, and poking holes in those things that looked really true and going, oh wow, that actually isn't the way things work. Whoa, that's important to note. And then having this experience of realizing that there is a lot that lies
