What does "play bigger" really mean?

I have seen this phrase, you know, bandied about forever— play bigger— and I've really been wondering what that means for me. What does it mean to play bigger? What does that word even mean? That phrase? I'm Mary Schiller, founder of the 5K Coach Club, and I want us to just sit here right now and have a really interesting discussion about what play bigger means and doesn't mean. And I don't want you to be expecting some kind of, you know, whiz-bang video here with lots of transitions and things flying across the screen because that's not what this conversation is about. And so first I'm going to tell you what I think it does not mean. So to me, play bigger does not mean pushing, pushing, pushing, pushing, push, pushing until you are ready to quit and you are so burned out you just want to run for the hills. That is not what playing bigger means. It also to me does not mean that I am on a lower level than anyone else. So for example, you could say, well, play bigger like so-and-so, you know, and maybe you think of a big-name coach or something and you think, oh gosh, I want to be like them, you know, I want to play in that arena. That is not what playing bigger means to me. I mean, like, my idea of it, which I'll get into in a minute, is so far afield from that it's not even funny. And another thing that playing bigger does not mean is feeling like what you're doing already isn't enough, because it probably is enough. It probably is. I see a lot of coaches who feel like they have to keep doing more and more and more, and they have to show up everywhere. They have to be on all the social media platforms, and they have to be creating videos and audios and ebooks and blog posts and podcasts and all these different things. That is not what playing bigger means either. That is not, to me, a smart way to run a business, especially if you are trying to get to that $5,000 a month mark. That is not at all what playing bigger means to me. So what does play bigger actually mean then? I would love to know what it means for you. So if you want to share that in the comments, that would be Fantastic, we can have a little chat there because I really would like to know. To me, play bigger has everything to do with self-discovery. For example, you know, I didn't start this coaching business and I don't continue to run and grow this coaching business with the question of how can I get more clients? You know, that is not what I'm thinking about every day. I don't wake up thinking, how can I get more people on my email list? How can I get more people in the 5K Coach Club? How can I make more money this month? That is not what is on my mind. To me, that's playing small, if you will. Playing bigger to me means how can I learn more about who I am and what I am? What can I pay attention to within myself that will show me what I'm actually made of? So for me, playing bigger means having a much more expanded sense of who I am, of what this person of Mary Schiller is actually capable of. What resides within her that I can tap into and create an amazing experience, a human experience for myself and for other people? So it isn't about striving for another level of success, whatever success means. It's different for everybody, so that's an abstract idea anyway. It has everything to do with Who am I? What am I capable of? And not in a judgmental way like, oh, you haven't achieved enough yet, so, you know, too bad for you. Not like that. More like, I've lived this long, I've done all of these things, what more is possible? I'll give you an example that I am looking at right this minute. I have started this 5K Coach Club as I am talking to you. It's been open for a few months and it's growing and it's a great experience and I'm learning a lot about all kinds of things. I have gone way outside my comfort zone, if you will, and to me that means playing bigger too. It's like I'm willing to look at what I don't know and I'm willing to learn, such as I'm learning about Facebook ads, I'm learning about what it takes to run a great membership. And there's more. Another part of my life is also very active right now, and that's my life as a writer. I wrote a novel about 10 or 11 years ago, and I did some reworking of it a long time ago. And I've recently concluded that part of playing bigger for me is exploring Mary the author, Mary the novelist. And I may do some more nonfiction writing too. I've got some books on Amazon now, I'd love to add to them. And so that part of me is saying, play bigger, Mary. You can do all of this, you can grow, your 5K Coach Club membership and help a lot of people in that way. And you can also be the novelist. Now, am I wedded to the idea that this novel will become the next bestseller? Absolutely not, because that isn't what playing bigger is about. Playing bigger is not about commercial success. Or monetary success or fame or anything. It is about exploring who we are and what we are actually capable of doing and experiencing and feeling. It also has a lot to do for me with allowing myself to have this full experience of being human. Meaning I don't judge thoughts that run through my mind like, oh Mary, it's failing, it's not working, you know, what are you doing, you don't know anything. I just let all of those just go right on by because they have no bearing on anything. Same with emotions like fear or worry or doubt. I don't mind having those, they're all part of the human experience. To me, that's also part of playing bigger. I want to embrace the entire realm of emotions and allow myself to have this full, meaningful experience of being a human being. That is also part of playing bigger. We can't push those things away. We don't need to anyway. We can have them all and still feel this tremendous amount of capacity and creativity and just wonder at being a person. There's also another part of me that is kind of tugging at my heartstrings a little bit to create a space where people can play bigger in the way that I just described. And I don't know what that looks like. I don't know if it will happen. I just know that it's here and that this topic is on my mind because I really don't want people walking through life feeling less than and feeling like their thoughts and emotions are problems and that they're not enough and that they're not doing enough. That is just— oh, it just breaks my heart to see people having that sort of life. And for me, playing bigger is about seeing the magnificence of our lives and seeing the, the limitlessness of who and what we are. And maybe that sounds a little woo-woo, I don't know. I don't consider myself to be a spiritualist, or if that's a word, or anything like that. I consider myself more of a down-to-earth pragmatist. And for me, all of this means that my daily experience of life is just beyond anything I could imagine. It doesn't have to be happy, happy, joy, joy all the time because that's not what we're meant to be experiencing. We are meant to have all of these ups and downs and ins and outs and, you know, all of the waves of thoughts and feelings running through us. And playing bigger, to me, in really the biggest sense, means embracing all of that. Making that a joyful part of life and exercising our creative impulses. So I don't know if this has made any sense at all. If not, c'est la vie, as we say here in Paris. But I would love to have a conversation with you about this, so feel free to share your thoughts and comments here. I am just sending you all my love today. I hope you are having an amazing day. Or evening, wherever you are in the world, and I'll talk to you again very soon. Bye for now.