Write Without A Net: Inside the MaryVerse, with Mary Schiller

Hello, bonjour, bonsoir, how are you? This is Mary Schiller, and I am so happy to welcome you to a brand new type of broadcast that I have never tried before. So welcome to this experiment. If you are here with me live, feel free to type into the chat box. I believe I can see the comments where I am here on this platform called StreamYard that is streaming onto my YouTube channel. If you are joining me on the replay, thank you so much for taking the time to watch. I really appreciate it. So again, if you're here, feel free to say hello in the chat. This is definitely an experiment and there is a reason why I am doing this and it actually relates to the topic that I want to talk about with you. So during this brief experimental something or other, which we call this adventure that I have called Write Without a Net, I'm going to talk about two things. One is I'm going to share with you some ideas for getting out of a rut. If you feel like you have been stuck in a rut, for a long time or even a short time. I have some ideas for how you can get out of that and how you can kind of find your motivation again. Hi, Ora Oren, in the front row with popcorn. That's so awesome. Thank you. So that's the first thing is we're going to talk about how to get out of a creative rut or any kind of rut that you felt that you're in. And the second part is going to be something that I have never done in this forum before, which is I'm actually going to write something on camera, and I'm going to take a word from someone who is here with me live on the chat, and then I'm just going to write about it, whatever comes to me, for a few minutes, and you'll get to watch that appear. So that should be interesting. I think we will probably be together for not too long, maybe about 20 minutes or so. And so I'm just so grateful that you are here with me in this experiment. Space called the Maryverse is what I've called it in my mind. And this is a place where we just go wherever the mind takes us. Hi, nice to see you. I'm not sure who Six Degrees is, but I appreciate you being here. Thanks so much. So for a couple minutes, I want to chat with you about what you do if you are finding yourself stuck in a rut. And if you're here with me live and you have some ideas yourself, please feel free to share them. And just by way of background, I started feeling myself going into a bit of a rut and kind of, you know, feeling like things were pretty foggy really back at the end of 2021. And I know back in 2020, 2021, and even last year, we were all dealing with the, you know what, I'm not going to mention it because I'd rather forget about it, but it was a big thing. We were all facing it. And for whatever reason, at the end of 2021, I just started feeling kind of lost. And like, I didn't know what I was supposed to be doing in my business or outside my business. I just felt very, very jumbled. And it was frustrating because that isn't a place I normally find myself in. I'm usually someone who, you know, feels very creative and is very prolific. And what I noticed was all during 2022, I was really feeling like there was something between me and what I was supposed to be doing next, or me and my next creative endeavor. Let me know if you're here live. Does that feel familiar where it's almost like there's a wall there, like, or it may be it's slightly transparent so you can kind of see through it a little, but it's very kind of fuzzy. You're like, what am I supposed to be doing? What am I supposed to be creating? How do I even connect to myself? And so all during 2022, I basically just kept putting one foot in front of the other in my business. I tried a bunch of new things. I created different things. I tried new avenues of working with people, and nothing was really landing. But I did keep going. I did keep creating. I did keep kind of digging deep within myself and asking myself, what is it that I really want to be doing? I didn't really come up with an answer, but that's what I kept coming back to, and I'll talk about that in just a second. So as we came into 2023, I was thinking, oh my goodness, you know, something's got to shift here because I have really been feeling like I've been in a rut for more than a year. And so I decided that I was going to really open my mind to listening to all kinds of ideas, things that were way far afield, in my case, from anything that I had done in my coaching business up until that point. I decided to kind of be— what do they call it— a beginner's mind, you know, go back to pretending I didn't know anything and just, you know, kind of being like a sponge and taking in a lot of different information and exposing myself to new people who I hadn't heard of before and just trying to listen to a lot of new ideas. And sometimes if we do that, we can even feel more confused. But for me, that was very helpful because I started to see opportunities and new ways of doing things that I had never heard of before, especially it related to my coaching business. And every time I would hear one of these new ideas, I would allow myself to really listen to it instead of just dismissing it out of hand. I would say, okay, let's sit with that for a little bit and see if that seems like something we would want to do. So at the beginning of the year, I started to reconfigure my coaching business and how I was supporting people. And then about, I would say, maybe 3 or 4 weeks ago, I had an aha moment, and I was quite relieved about that because I had been sort of searching for some sort of breakthrough And I'd had some mini breakthroughs this year, but about 3 or 4 weeks ago now, it, it really dawned on me that I had not been following my own advice. And I am frankly sort of embarrassed to admit this because I've been talking to people about this, which I'll share what it is, for as long as I can remember. For as long as I've been a coach, which I started in 2016, I have been talking about this and preaching this, and I was not following my own advice. And you know what it was? I was doing a bunch of things that I really didn't want to be doing. I had somehow allowed my days to start getting filled up bit by bit by bit by things that I just didn't enjoy. And what I have coached people in— and if you're on here and you know me, you've known me for any length of time, you know I always talk about the fact that we have permission to fill our lives with things that we enjoy. And we can start to fill our lives with more of those things, and the things that we don't enjoy will gradually start to dissolve and kind of disappear. We'll find new ways of getting them done. And I realized I hadn't been doing that myself. And I was a little bit shocked, a little bit embarrassed. And I'm a little bit embarrassed to be admitting that to you since I literally wrote a book called You Have Permission where I talk about these things. But I actually think it's good that I became aware of it and that I am sharing it with you because what it has taught me is that this is something that I need to be consciously aware of as much as possible. That if I start to feel myself sliding into a place where I don't feel super creative and I don't feel super alive, what it actually means is that I haven't given myself permission yet again to do the things that I enjoy doing. And that has been a big eye-opener to me. And I'm like, hmm, I guess I should be my own coach more often. I wish I had kind of realized this sooner, but you know, it sort of creeps up on you, doesn't it? Sometimes, you know, you don't really realize that you're in a rut until you've already been in it for a while, right? And then suddenly you're like, oh my gosh, where the heck am I? You know, I, I don't know how I got here, and I don't really like where I am. So how do I break out of it? And to me, the answer is pretty simple. It's that we need to start filling our time with things that we enjoy, and we need to start looking at our lives from a more critical perspective, I dare say that, you know, how much of our time is being spent on things that are just not lighting us up, that are not creating that spark? We do have permission to do the things that we want to do, and that is what will continually reignite that spark. So if you are here with me live, I'd love to know if you feel like your life is mostly filled with things you enjoy, or do you think there's a lot of things that you're doing on a daily basis that really don't light you up? Because that's where I found myself. I found myself there, and I recognized it. Hi, Mimi. Um, yeah, this is new. So, you know, As I said a moment ago, I was rather shocked that I was finding myself in that place of, oh my goodness, let me take an inventory here. I started to write out all of the things that I was spending my time doing, and I realized that at least half of them, at least half it may have even been more than half, but half is all I'm going to admit to right now. At least half of them were things that really didn't bring me a whole lot of joy and sparkle and life inside. And so I just decided about 3 or 4 weeks ago that I was going to stop those things. They were ending, no more. And I was going to set myself on a new path once again, to start doing more and more of things that I really wanted to do. I started to again seek out some new voices, some new people. I started to allow myself to dream a little bit bigger and think, what if I could revamp my business in a certain way that really seemed exciting to me? What if I could— another thing I'd love to do is rewrite my novel. I've been working on that off and on, but what if I could actually get that done this year? And so I really started to let myself go towards the things that I really wanted to do. And this right now, this experimental YouTube Live, is part of the process where this idea came to me the other day. Wow, you know, wouldn't it be fun to host a completely different type of event? And so here we are. So just by way of background, The— and you may have seen this if you follow me on Instagram and my stories, I— and in on my emails, I explained a little bit about this event that I'm about to jump into here called Write Without a Net, where back a long, long time ago— I'm not going to say how long ago— a long time ago, where I was living in California, there was a women's festival every year. And one year I decided that I was going to rent a booth and I was going to set up my little card table and my little folding chair. I had a tip jar and I had bought a bunch of that pretty handmade paper, you know, that's all different colors and has little sparkles and speckles and things in it. And I bought some matching ribbon and I set up this booth and I decided I'm going to do free writing for people. And if you're not familiar with free writing, It's a technique that a lot of writers use to just kind of shake things loose and get the creative writing juices flowing, and just as a way to get things rolling when you haven't been writing for a while. And all it really means is that you just start writing and you don't worry about what you're saying. You just kind of write and write and write for, you know, I usually set a timer for it. Until you feel like you're done. And then you either keep what you've written because you like it, or, you know, or it relates to something you're working on, or it was just an exercise and you can discard it or keep it or whatever. So when I set up this booth, what I would do was people would come up to me and they would say a word, any word. I just told them to keep it at least PG, G or PG-rated. And then I would take my pen and grab a piece of that handmade paper, and I would just start writing on that word. Right, right, right, right, right. And I didn't really lift up my pen. I didn't cross anything out. I just let whatever was in me related to that word just flow. And then when I felt like I was done, I rolled up the paper, I tied a ribbon around it, and I handed it to the person. I didn't even read it again. And sometimes they would tip me, other times they wouldn't, but it was fine. I did make a little money. And so I did that one year, and then I know I did it at least a second year. I might have done it even 3 years, but the second year I definitely remember because somebody who did this little exercise with me the previous year came up to the booth and he said, you know, you wrote something about this word, and he told me whatever the word is, I can't remember. And it was so meaningful to me what you wrote that I have carried it with me ever since. And he opened it up, he took it out of his wallet and he showed me that he still had it. And I was just amazed at how something so simple could have such an impact on another person. And so I decided, hey, wouldn't it be fun if I did something like this live, like on YouTube? So that is what I'm going to do. Right now. And to say that I'm nervous is putting it mildly, because I've never actually done this publicly in that way where you're going to see what is appearing in a Google Doc as I am writing it. But that's what we're going to do. I probably won't write for too long. I have no idea. I'm not going to set a timer, but I will look up occasionally to see how much time has gone by. So if you are here live and you would like to suggest the word that I write about, please type it into the chat. And again, it can be a word or like a very short phrase, but just keep it clean. All right, I've got my water. I am awaiting a comment. Does anyone have a word? That they would like me to write on. I am waiting with great anticipation right now. Coach. Ah, Mimi says coach. All right, Mimi. Uh-oh, afraid. Coach. Oh, maybe I'll do— well, coach was first, or orange, so I'm gonna go with coach, and I will maybe put— inject a little fear in there because I'm definitely feeling that. All right, and again, this is not prepared or scripted. I'm going to share my screen so that you can see the Google Doc. I'm assuming you can see the Google Doc. I'm going to put on a little bit of background music I think it's this one. Yes. All right, here we go. I'm gonna write on the word hope, and we'll just see what happens. And if you're watching me, my eyes will probably be closed because that's how I like to do these things. Okay. Whoops, I don't know where I am. I gotta look for a second. Okay. Okay, that's it. Woo! That was fun. I don't even know what I said. Should I go back and read it? If you're here with me live, I can bring it back up on the screen. Should I go back and read it aloud and see what I even said? Uh, oh, thank you, Aurora. All right, I'm gonna go back and read it, um, because I don't even know what I was saying. Okay, let me turn this music off because now it's starting to bother me. Okay, let's go back and I will read this. Coach. What is a coach? A coach cares, is inspiring, is dedicated, is loving and giving. Coach me, please. Coach me to a better life. Coach me to a happier existence in this world that sometimes seems too ugly and brutal and cold. Coach me to love people even on days when I don't feel very loving myself. Coach me to be more joyful in the face of disaster in my own life or in the lives of others. Can I coach myself? Can I coach myself to be braver, bolder, more free and fun, and worry less about that should be what other people think about me? Can I coach myself to be real even when I'm afraid of what that looks like? Coach me, please. I need help today. I need help to find my way, so coach me to find a path that is free of twigs and leaves and is clean and green and soft beneath my feet. Coach me to look up at the sky and appreciate every cloud that passes by. Oh, that's a funny little rhyme. Even when I'm searching and dreaming about seeing the sun instead. Coach me to find peace within myself instead of looking everywhere else for it. I want to coach myself right now to not worry about my health, my finances, my loved ones. Every day with all of this, every day with every emotion, every action, every reaction, every bit of news, it is all a gift, part of being human and me and real and alive. Coach, coach me. Coach me to be more me even when I don't want to be me, because me is all I've got. Oh my goodness. Well, I didn't expect to get emotional on this, but how about that? And I even managed to work fear in there. Or— well, I just want to thank you for being part of this with me, for being part of this new experiment, this new experience, something that has been fun to help me break out of my creative rut and Um, if you are watching this on the replay, I'd love to know how it has impacted you. If you're here with me live, just thank you so much for jumping in and doing something a bit different. And, uh, oh, thank you, Aurora. And, um, you know, I would encourage you— oh, thanks, Mimi. Uh, I would really encourage you if you are feeling stuck yourself to try something, maybe not this necessarily, but try something that kind of makes you nervous, makes you a little scared, something that tests your threshold or your comfort zone a little bit. Because honestly, I have never done anything like that before. I do it all the time offline but never in front of anyone. And so I felt kind of naked as I was writing, but I just tried to put that out of my mind. And so I just want to encourage you to really give yourself permission to do what you want to be doing with your life, to be bolder, to just know that there are people around who will support you, including me. Even if I'm not there with you in the moment, know that I am with you. And I just want to thank you so much for being here for this first-ever Write Without a Net, part of what I've called the Maryverse, where we go wherever the mind takes us. So thank you, everybody. I hope you've had fun. Thanks, Mimi. Thank you, Orin. Thank you, everybody who joined live and on the replay. If you'd like me to do this again, feel free to let me know. And of course, you can always drop me a line at mary@maryinparis.com. You can find me on Instagram @maryschiller. And I look forward to doing this again sometime very soon. Thanks so much, everybody. Bye for now.