You are naturally BOLD (talk 1 of 3 -- look for the others shortly!)
In this 45‑minute live session, author and coach Mary Schiller introduces the concept that boldness is not a rare trait but a natural, innate state of human beings. She begins by welcoming participants, asking them to share why they joined, and gathering a wide range of personal definitions of "bold" from the chat. Throughout the talk she challenges conventional, often limiting, interpretations of boldness (e.g., brash, aggressive) and reframes it as a default human drive toward discovery, creation, and movement. Mary shares several personal stories – choosing to study music at UCLA against family expectations, the feeling of boldness during childbirth, and a four‑year period of exploring music – to illustrate how bold actions arise from inner prompting rather than calculated courage. Participants contribute numerous examples of their own bold moves (relocating, career changes, travel, artistic pursuits), which Mary uses to reinforce the idea that boldness is a universal, culturally transcendent experience. She draws analogies to nature (volcanoes, plants breaking through concrete, weather events) to show boldness as an unstoppable natural force. The conversation then shifts to how fear, limiting beliefs, and cultural narratives can mask this innate boldness, and Mary offers strategies for recognizing and acting on bold impulses without judgment. Finally, she introduces practical resources: a downloadable "I'm a Woman Behaving Boldly" guide, a new one‑on‑one "Bold Coaching" program, and invites further contact via email and her website. The session ends with gratitude, encouragement to continue the dialogue, and a preview of the next talk.
Chapters
Hello there, this is Mary Schiller, author and coach of MarySchiller.com. I want to welcome you to this chat we're gonna have today all about what it means to be bold. So I'm glad to have you here. If you're joining live, that's super. If you are watching on the replay, of course I always appreciate that. Hi Adriana, Birdie, Annette, I see a few people here. If you could just type a little note in the chat— hi, Marina— letting me know that you can hear and see me okay, I would really appreciate that so that I'm not just speaking out into the void. Oh, thank you, Nikki. Yeah, this red sweater was the boldest color I have. Okay, thanks, Nita. Hi there. Great, thanks, Adriana. And you can hear me okay? All right, good, thanks, Jan. I appreciate that. Good to have everyone here. In case you aren't familiar with me. I'll just spend about 30 seconds telling you who I am. I am an author and— oh, thanks, Brittany. Appreciate the compliment on the red. And plus the time of year, you know, it's December, it sort of feels appropriate. Thanks, Doug. I am an author and coach and I have several books on Amazon.com in Kindle and paperback. And I also specialize in helping people to live happier and less stressful lives. With an emphasis on helping people do what they enjoy and also make an income from that, which I find personally really, really fun and cool. So hi, Jeanette. So I love helping people along those lines. And I was inspired to, to host these 3 talks today. Hi, Adrienne. Hi, Jeanette. Nice to see you. I was inspired to host these talks because I started to, you know, think about that, you know, that— do any of you do that thing where you pick a word for the year? Has anybody ever done that? Hi Lisa. Hi Angela. Has anybody ever done that before where you pick a word for your year? I don't know if you've heard of that before. I had never heard of it before, or I should say I had heard of it but not done it myself. Intention, Jeanette says. Okay. Oh, Mike, hi there, how are you? For several years, yeah, I have never done it before. Um, I've heard of it and, um, just not engaged in it. And then all of a sudden I had this word bold come to me, and I thought, well, that would be a fun word to focus on for the next year. So I think I'll just do that and see what happens. And what was really funny was after that word came to me a whole bunch of other ideas came to me of things. Oh, hi, Ali, nice to see you. You know, things that I could do around that word and what that word has sort of meant to me in my life. It was just really interesting how it just popped in and said, hey, Mary, this is the word you're supposed to look at. So before I jump into the topic of this particular session, which is you are naturally bold, I'd first love to hear, hi, Lynn, I'd first love to hear from you in the chat. You can type this in. What prompted you to come? What was it about this topic that was really interesting to you? So if you want to type that into the chat, I'd really appreciate it. And if you at any point have a question that you'd like me to answer, please just add that into the ask a question area and I will answer those shortly. So if you wouldn't mind starting me off with just an idea of, you know, Was there something about this topic of living boldly that really appealed to you? Or, you know, what was it about it? And you'll have to forgive me, I'm still getting over the flu, so I may have to cough or something every now and again. So I beg your pardon in advance. Adrian, I wanted to feel connected to a group and also the motivation to do something I'm scared to do. Oh wow, okay. Uh, Nina, I love the word and feel myself getting bolder and want more. Uh, Mike, because bold is a quality I don't associate with myself or my actions. Oh, interesting. Nikki, I love feeling bold. Uh, hi Elizabeth, good to see you. Um, Adriana, old ways of functioning are working poorly. Elisa, I am bold in many ways, but when I don't get on with stuff I'd like to do, I have a sense that bold is the missing element. Very interesting. Mitsui, I am— whoops, wait a second. I'm not really bold. I sometimes do things that are unconventional. Self is bold, which often means daring to me. Interesting. I don't know, you're ukulele playing and all that seems pretty bold to me. Jeanette, I don't see myself as bold, so why not explore? Good. Hi Brian, I'd like to produce my solo cabaret act, but I'm afraid of starting because I worry I won't have enough money. Not an uncommon concern, Brian, just generally. Annette, hi there. I'm just experimenting with it these days myself, want to do more of it. Ali, my word for 2018— I think you mean 2019— is— can you believe we're already almost in 2019? It's nutty— is indomitable. So it seems relevant. Also, my boldness seems to have deserted me in recent years. Hi, Kathy. I consider myself as being bold, yet I want to bring the boldness out much more. Verena, I find bold a bit mysterious, English not being my native language, so I'm not quite sure what it really means. Oh, very cool. Gosh, you guys are amazing. So much interesting stuff in there. I mean, wow. You know, I think that over the course of the next, you know, 45 minutes to an hour that we're spending together— yeah, it's 2019. I think you may start to see yourselves differently if you don't think that you're bold. Angela says, I'm scared of being bold as it feels risky, but that doesn't add up. I knew I need a new idea of bold. Hi, Birdie. I'm very bold in some areas, but not about putting myself out there. Again, not an uncommon, not an uncommon thing, Birdie, that a lot of people do feel a little bit nervous about, you know, putting themselves quote unquote out there and being visible. And that seems like a quality of boldness. So you kind of answered my next question, but I'm going to ask this one specifically. Is what does the word bold seem to mean to you? If you had to define the word bold or what being bold meant, you know, how would you define it? Or maybe there's someone you can think of, maybe a famous person or somebody, or somebody personal to you even, who represents boldness to you. I would love to hear that as well because I think You know, because we all have individual ways of seeing things, we might be defining this word differently. Mitsui, as in bold lettering, something that stands out and demands to be seen. Adrian, taking risks, getting out of your comfort zone. Lisa, doing it in spite of thoughts of why not to. Mike says brash, exploding into a room, walking all over people. Oh, interesting. Lou says proactive, unafraid, daring. Adriana, going to what moves me no matter what. Ali says undaunted. Lisa, brave and sure and certain. Kathy, doing what you want to do in spite of the demands of others. Hi, Mark! Being brave. Let's see, Angela, sometimes it feels a bit masculine and go get 'em. I have an idea that it's too loud and pushy. Anita, being confident and taking risks. Lynn, brash and brave. Bertie, doing something without a care in the world. Oh, that last one really got to me. Wow, that was like, I don't know, that felt like air flooding my lungs. These are really awesome. Mary, hi Mary, courage, you seem to exhibit bold. Thanks Mary. Hi Anya, doing things that seem hard or uncertain. And Jan, taking no notice of all my thinking about why I shouldn't. Oh my goodness. So isn't it interesting how we all have these slightly varying shades of what bold means? Um, and let's see, Doug says Tony Robbins, aggressive, daring, courageous. Um, yeah, you know, I— one of the things that came to me, as I said at the very beginning, when this word bold popped in as my word of the year, which like I said I've never done before, one of the things that I started remembering Pardon me. I'm really glad that this flu is almost over. Can I just say that? It's been a very bold illness. But one of the things that came to me was that throughout my whole life, people have described me in this way, in some way. If not using the word bold, they've often described me as brave or courageous. And I never really saw myself that way at all. I saw myself as somebody simply doing what was required. And so, um, and over the years, that description of me seems to have gotten even more prevalent. You know, when I hear from people by email who've read my books or have interacted with me in some way, they're often using this word. And I thought, you know, I think I need to investigate this further and see what this is actually about. Hi Elizabeth, I can feel my conditioning with this word, how my mother used to call me brazen, which to me sounds like the negative perspective on bold. Yeah, I think that we can have lots of associations with words like bold or, you know, synonyms maybe like brazen that, that seem the same to us. And, um, and so what I'm hoping to demonstrate during this particular session is that maybe our ideas of what it means to be bold are actually kind of limiting what, what it actually seems to mean to me. Hi, Anya. Mary, I've had a similar experience. I'm always a bit perplexed when people call me bold or courageous. I wonder lately that since I seem to be bold in a way that many others don't think they are, what does it mean for me to be bold my own way? Well, that's a really good question, and it's one that I'm going to start addressing. Right now, in fact. So I'm going to start with just a very brief personal story. As I was preparing for today's talk, I was trying to think back to the first time I could really remember taking a step that seemed bold to me, that seemed to go against what other people were telling me I ought to do. And in a minute, I'm going to ask you to recall something like this, but I'm going to start with my own. So the first time I ever remember doing this was when I was 17 and I was applying to universities in the US, and I had everyone around me telling me what they thought I should major in, which was English, because everybody thought I was going to go on and be a writer of some kind. And yes, I loved writing. I still do, obviously. And it was something that I I felt very passionate about. But at the time, I had a bigger love than writing and reading and literature and all of that, and that was music. Now, to be fair, I was much more talented in the area of writing and literature and all of that than I was as a musician. I was not a very good musician, but I loved music. I mean, it was just like the be-all end-all for me, and in many ways it still is. I just, I just love it. So I decided I was going to major in music at school, period. I was just going to do it. And the school that I really wanted to go to was UCLA. Now, my parents wanted me to apply to Stanford, but there was no way I was going to do that because that was like 10 minutes from my house, and UCLA was, you know, a— I don't know how many hours drive, maybe 7-hour drive. That was much better. I kind of wanted to get away from home, you know how you are when you're 17, 18. It's time for me to make my bold step out into the world. And so against their wishes and against a lot of advice, I decided to apply to UCLA and to the music department. And long story short, there was a multi-level process to get accepted, not just into the university, but also then you had to audition for the music department and take some exams and things. And luckily I was accepted, and I was thrilled because I just wanted to spend 4 years studying something that I really loved. I had no designs on what I would do after college with this degree. I had no interest in becoming a professional musician. I knew I wasn't at that caliber, and it really wasn't about that for me. It was more about, about, you know, exploring something that was interesting to me. So, uh, to kind of round out this story, uh, after I went to UCLA and I, you know, started studying music, I did find that I had an aptitude for music history. I was very good at that, and I kind of sub-majored in music composition, and I was actually pretty good at that. I didn't go on after school, after college, to do anything in music, but it's always been a part of my life, and I have never regretted it. Those were 4 of the most magical years of my life and have enriched me in ways that I can't even begin to describe. So that was the first thing that I remember doing as a young person that felt like a bold move. You know, there was something speaking to me inside that was just saying, you know, this is what I really want to do. And so I'm just going to do it. And I'm not going to worry about what happens afterwards. I'm simply going to live from this place of something calling to me. So, um, I would love for you guys to reflect on that for just a moment. And is there a time you can remember that— maybe the first time you remember doing something that seemed like a bold move for you? Can you recall something maybe from that period of your life too, you know, when you're kind of coming out of childhood and into adulthood where you decided you were just going to go do something? You know, maybe it was take a trip, you know, that seemed a little bit risky or anything. I would just love to hear if you want to type into the chat if you can recall something similar to me, you know, any kind of bold step that you took. And yeah, I'd be very curious about that. And I'm gonna just get a sip of water here. Any bold stories from the past? In the meantime, I'm going to check out the questions here. All right, I will go back to that. Any bold stories? Don't tell me I'm the only one with a story like that. It was interesting too because during those 4 years that I was studying music, uh, most of the time I had the sensation that I was really, um, in over my head. You know, there were so many people I was around who were really, really top-notch musicians. I mean, like, really, really gifted. And it took me a while to sort of find my way around in there and often felt like I was being asked to do things that were just like really outside my comfort zone, you know, composing types of music that seemed like you've got to be kidding, like you want me to write what, you know, things like that, or doing performances that seemed like they were impossible for me to do. And yet every single time I was asked to do something, I at least gave it my best attempt. You know, I didn't always go, you know, past what I would call a level of success, but I at least was, um, was allowing myself to go with it and to really, um, experience what it meant to be brought out of my comfort zone. And so I really look at that whole 4-year period as one kind of bold experiment that I conducted when I was younger. So I don't see any comments. I can't believe I'm the only one who's got a bold story, but I will keep going anyway. Um, so I wanted to also share another story, uh, again a brief one, about another time when I remember having this sense that bold was part of our natural state. As human beings, and that's really what the focus of this chat is about is— oh, oh, here come a whole bunch. Okay, let me see. All right, let's see. They all came in at once. Let me go back. All right, hang on a second. Adrienne says she signed up for fitness competition. Well done, Verena. When I went to work in the US for a year at the age of 19. That's exciting. And that a really bold statement that led to my new job 15 years ago. It's Sui. Same for me in high school, daring to apply for a mainland school. I lived in Hawaii at the time. My English teacher said I would never make it. Yeah, Jeanette, living abroad as an au pair after college. Wow, these are awesome. Andrew, I took a 5-week road trip to see the 2018 eclipse and 10 national parks, driving 8,000 miles after I got laid off from my my job and had no income promises when I came back. Wow, awesome. Nikki, got accepted into the Peace Corps and then backed out at the last minute. Well, that's okay. You got accepted. Bertie, finding a summer job, going to uni, going to Hawaii. Awesome. Ali, I moved from New Zealand to the US by myself with no job or money just because you wanted to. Great. Kathy, I left New Orleans and moved to Las Vegas. Very good. Nikki, hi there. An open ticket to India after graduation with no plan. I love the no plan thing. Lynn, I made the very bold move when my marriage ended. I made the bold decision to leave my home in the UK after 22 years and return back to Canada. And Richard, hi Richard, I got 2 master's degrees in music, now a professional musician. Well, bravo to you, that's excellent. Hi Nita, saying yes to leading docent training at a museum in Singapore. Gosh, what a variety. Anya, I I was about 5 years old at a professional production of Snow White in one of the largest performance halls in Chicago. When the Evil Queen gave Snow White the poisonous apple, I stood up in my seat in the third row and yelled at her loudly to stop trying to hurt Snow White. It didn't feel bold though, but just something I had to do. I love that. You know, kids, they don't have those same kind of filters like we adults do. Wow, that's awesome. Verena later decided to— oh, you went to Iceland for a few months, Australia for almost 2 years. Mark, I can remember some big steps in my life and these seem to be around moving from one school to another, from college to university, to a new job, changing jobs. These are more like progressions rather than true bold steps. Well, maybe not. Maybe that's just the way you're perceiving them, Mark. Hi Annette, I decided to do a Facebook Live. That's good, based on the principles. Adriana, last Saturday night I approached and chatted with a cute guy and gave him my card. First time ever with the word bold in my life. I love it. Let's see. Mike: Telling my Southern Baptist parents I was moving in with a woman separated from her husband. Well, I can see why that would seem like a bold move. We later got married, but my parents never visited us during the entire time we lived together and voiced their disapproval often. Another thing was going for a PhD in middle age. I got a nervous breakdown from it, but I learned a lot from both experiences. Angela, thank you for that, Mike. I have noticed that I felt bolder when I didn't have a family or when I wasn't the main income earner, which I've noticed feels very constricted in my thinking. Wow. Look at how bold you guys are. I mean, you know, for a few of you saying you didn't see yourself as bold or you equated bold with sort of brash and brazen and in-your-face, are you starting to see how maybe that's not the case? That maybe being bold is simply another way of describing how we're actually made as human beings. So that was fantastic. Angela, if you want to type that as a question maybe in the ask a question area. I can come back to that. I just don't want to lose it. So you might want to type that in there and I can kind of come back when I answer the other questions. Wow, I am really like overcome by all of those fantastic examples of bold moves. And at the time, I'm guessing when you made those moves, they didn't necessarily seem like things you shouldn't do. They seemed like something you really wanted to do, right? You know, you may have had some scary thinking along with them, some nervousness, or like, you know, a couple of you said you did things without a plan, or, you know, but at the same time, wasn't there also a sense of knowing this is simply what I want to be doing right now and I'm okay with that? You know, because as I look back on my experience going to study music like that, that's really how I felt. In fact, I felt that way the whole time I was at school. I wasn't worried about what was going to happen after I graduated. I knew I would figure it out somehow. And I just wanted to be in that environment. I wanted to be with those kind of people. I wanted to, you know, really dive into classical music and just study and study and study it and really, you know, sort of get it into my system. And that was all I really cared about. And, you know, anything else was just sort of superfluous to me at the time. So, wow, thanks, you guys. I'll tell you another brief story— excuse me— that also ties into this topic of we're naturally bold. And I won't go into all the gruesome details, but when I was in the process of giving birth to my daughter, I remember very distinctly having this thought. You know, I'm in the midst of labor and it's getting close to the delivery point, and any women on here who have given birth will, will kind of relate to what I'm talking about, I'm sure. Is I, I had this very strong thought that I have not forgotten that was something along the lines of Wow, life is really powerful. And it is really wanting to come out into the world, you know, it wants to be known, it has no fear about this process, it knows that this is the process it has to go through, in order to come out into the world and into form. And it's just going to do whatever it has to do. In order for that to happen. There's nothing holding it back. Nothing. I can't stop it from happening. It's simply going to happen. And that's all there is to it. And I don't know if I had the word bold in my mind, but that's certainly the sensation that I had in that moment was like, nothing is going to stop this life. It simply wants to happen. To be here and it wants to come out and it wants to experience everything. And that was sort of another time in my life when I remember experiencing this feeling of boldness that I couldn't do anything about. And I was happy not to. It was kind of like, wow, this is what life is. Life is boldness. Life is this feeling. Force that can't be stopped. You know, life is literally a force of nature. So, you know, I feel like, like that was a really big moment for me. Are there any moms on here who can relate at all to that, or dads too, who have, you know, seen this kind of force of nature? Or even, you know, if you've, if you've experienced the birth of someone else in your family and, and you've just kind of watched that process, it's like Wow, there is nothing holding this back. I mean, this is, this is happening whether I want it to or not. It's simply the next thing that's gonna happen. I hear some yeses here. I haven't missed your comment, Mitsui. I'll come back to it. Yeah, Angela, I agree. You know, watching children grow up, whether they're your own kids or somebody you know, you know, maybe your relatives' children, there is, there is this sense that you know, that as people are growing up, I've seen this in my own daughter who's now 30, but you know, that they are simply going to do what they're going to do. You know, um, I don't know how much influence we have over that, but that has, um, unstoppable— Nikki says, yeah, it's like this unstoppable force. They are simply going to do what they're going to do. They are, you know, learning as they go. They're absorbing information and learning things, and then it's coming out into form, and that's all there is. You know, there's no, there's no way to rein that in. There just isn't. Unstoppable is a good, is a good word. And I now am seeing that, if this is making sense, so let me know if it's not, but I am seeing that as simply how we are made naturally as human beings. Nature is unstoppable and bold. Exactly, Nita. Another example that I was thinking of, you very good segue, is that, you know, if you look at nature— now we are part of nature, so I'm pretending for a second like nature is something out there— but if we look at the natural world, is there anything at all that is timid about that? Would you describe nature as timid? Timid and sort of, you know, tenuous, or, you know, like it doesn't know what to do? Or is it simply kind of the epitome of boldness? Because to me, it looks like the latter. It looks like the epitome of how I, in my limited way of describing things, you know, I would call nature incredibly bold. You know, I was thinking of all of the "Yeah, it's never timid. It might appear gentle at times, but it's strong." Yeah, exactly. You know, I was thinking of all of the kind of natural, kind of bigger events that I have been through. I've been through many, many earthquakes being from California. I lived in Minnesota for a few years when I was a kid, dealt with tornadoes. Back East in New York, we had hurricanes. We had nor'easters and blizzards. We had blizzards in Minnesota too, lots of those. I have been in California in a fire. I've been in a major flood there, you know, and all of these things have just brought home the fact that the natural world isn't timid. It does what it does, just like the kids do, right? It does what it does when it's going to do it, and that's all there is. You know, there's no stopping it, and there's no stopping the world from turning. You know, it's going to keep turning. And, um, And for some reason, I find this idea extraordinarily liberating because it means that I am part of that as well. I am of that as well. So, you know, anytime I have this sensation like, you know, I want to make a move that maybe doesn't seem, you know, part of my normal routine or seems kind of bold for me, I don't have to worry about that anymore. Because it seems more and more to me like this is simply how we're made, how we're designed. Angela, of course nature works its way out and a massive wave doesn't care who's in the water. I can watch the strength in a young plant pushing through. Yeah, right, you know, like you see a plant growing up through the sidewalk, you know, that's, that's an example of this sort of natural boldness, it seems to me as well. You know, it doesn't let the cement or anything stop it, it just just keeps going and keeps going and keeps going. I remember years ago when I went to the Big Island of Hawaii, I was at the Volcano National Park there, which some of you have probably been to, where there's the active Kilauea volcano. And that was an incredible experience of nature at its boldest. It's literally creating new land by the second. And watching the lava fall into the ocean and the fire and the water meeting. And then throughout the park, you can see how the vegetation is growing back after years, you know, years after being destroyed, how it's eventually coming back. And, you know, that was again another very tangible way for me to see this idea that I too am naturally bold. Hi Lynn, nature encompasses everything. Think of the forest. I see new growth, death, beauty, letting go, and connection. Yeah, and like Angela just said, it's a cool way to see it, that we're part of nature and it's inbuilt. There is no separation between that force of nature and who we actually are. So, um, so yeah, so it's wonderful. It seems to me like you're kind of starting to see this connection that exists. This not even connection, but, you know, that we're part of the same fabric of all of this natural behavior. I also saw how resilient life is in Kilauea. Yeah, isn't that amazing, Bertie? You know, that was just— and this was way before I had any clue of what I talk about now. I mean, that was back in the 1980s that I was there and saw that, and it really brought it home to me in such a big way. You know, so, um, so anything that— and this is kind of going back to a question or a statement that Mitsui posted a little bit ago. So it now looks more to me that, you know, any ideas that I have about, you know, oh, this is too risky, or, you know, I've got too many responsibilities in order to be, you know, so I can't make this move or whatever, I tend to let those kinds of thoughts fall into the background. And I'm listening more and more and acting, that's the key, more and more on what seems like this natural tendency to want to move, to want to create, to want to make a bigger statement or whatever it looks like. All of those beautiful examples that you gave earlier were times in your life where you just naturally, again, I'm using that word intentionally, naturally did those things. There didn't seem to be any reason for you not to. And so I guess I would say at this point too, you know, if something looks like it's too bold for you to do, is there really any reason not to? Or can you see even a little bit that this is how you're naturally designed? Uh, so I'm going to take a quick pause right there and get a sip of water. Uh, Adrian, yes, resonated with me. Oh great. Um, let's see, we act on this natural tendency to want to move. Yeah, you know, it's kind of like, like I was describing the childbirth thing. I mean, there's no stopping that. It was going to move, you know, life was doing its thing and there was no stopping that. So let me go to the questions here. Um, Mitsui asked, how does bold look from a cultural perspective? That's a really interesting question, Mitsue, and I know you live in Japan, um, and so you may have a very different perspective on that. Uh, and I would say that I'm kind of looking at it from a perspective that's— that, that kind of, um, goes past the cultural. I'm really trying to look at this from a human being perspective. You know, what do human beings naturally do? And I would imagine that within even any cultural quote unquote constraints, you can still see this in action because it's simply how we're designed. So I think, you know, yeah, I think that it's just a natural part of being human. And so I don't think that that can be reined in even if the cultural conversation is saying we shouldn't do certain things or certain things aren't acceptable or whatever, I still think that the human experience is transcending that every minute of every day, you know, that the boldness that's naturally within us is still being played out. So let me know what you think of that, Mitz, and anybody else. I appreciate that. This was a question that Shannon had posted earlier, and I don't think she's able to make the call, so I wanted to ask answer it. Is there any objective thing as bold? One person's bold is another person's obvious or easy. And truly, if everything is created in thought, how can we accurately judge a move or a step or an action as bold? So I'm hoping maybe by this point in the conversation, maybe there's a different way of seeing this term bold and seeing it more as it's a word that we use to describe certain actions, and it's fun to use that word, but I also think that it may be more interesting to see it as the default, if that's making sense, to see that bold as we see it, you know, as any person might define it, because like you said, there's so many different ways, like we did earlier, of defining this word, but that in actuality And this is our default setting as human beings. What we may be seeing as bold is actually, you know, what's true. So let me know, you guys, does that ring true for you at all? Are you starting to have a little bit of a shift in perspective here? I'd love to hear. So let me just pause there for a second and then I'll get to these other questions So let me know what you guys think, because, you know, as I have been looking at this, and it's just been a couple of weeks since I have really started to ask myself these questions, like, you know, what if actually all of these things that I've seen have both as bold moves or bold steps have actually just been the mechanism by which human beings naturally act? And that— oh, thanks, Adriana. I'm glad. And that any kind of judgmental thinking I might have, like some of the descriptions earlier were that it seemed pushy or it seemed kind of brazen or in your face, that maybe those are judgments that don't actually apply at all. That maybe any kind of measurement around whether or not something is you know, too bold to attempt or something like that. Like, we don't have to even go there anymore. Like, what would happen then? What would happen if I simply more and more, you know, listened to things in a more conscious way that were coming to me to do, and then I did them? You know, what might happen then? Hi, Jan. For children and baby animals, bold equals discovery and growth. Well, isn't that true? That is totally true. Yeah. I mean, have you looked at a toddler lately? They don't have a lot of— they're kind of all over the place, just discovering and doing what looks interesting to them in the moment without having any judgment about, oh, is it okay for me to do this? They don't really do that. And, um, and obviously I'm not talking about things like, you know, intentionally hurting someone or anything like that. I'm really trying to look at this, like I said, more from a system point of view, like the human being system and how we are operating and how we maybe have put some judgments on things that we don't need to anymore. Uh, hi Angela. If I see bold as true, then I have to stop seeing it as a bigger me outside of me. I have to stop seeing separation. I also have to see who I am in a new way. I'd have to stop thinking I need to put certain training or stuff in place. Yeah, I can relate to that for sure, for sure, for sure. And in that, you know, relating to what I was talking about a moment ago about nature, we start to see ourselves as simply in this natural process and that we don't have to be fearful if we have an idea that seems rash or bold. We don't have to worry about that anymore. Hi, Mitsui. The boldness is being played out as humans transcending cultural constraints. Yes, I can see how that makes sense. I see that even from the comments here that bold has different connotations. It's probably equivalent to the cultural stigmas. Yeah, family perspectives on bold, negative, positive. I can see how this idea transcends culture. Yeah, because basically— thanks for that, Mitsui, and Angela as well— you know, basically what we're trying to do is look behind all the thinking that we all have. You know, what's behind all of that? What is on the other side of it? Or what's, you know, what are we before we have all this thinking in our heads? And that's really what we're doing in this conversation. So thank you. Let me see a couple of other questions. Here's one from Anshul. I took a bold decision to take a break to create a shift in career. 4 months later, nothing worked. Dwindling finances made me get back to a job, so what boldness could really be here? Um, Anshul, thank you for posting that question. Um, I'm also wondering now, uh, having said what I've said so far, if maybe even that situation could be seen in a new light. That, you know, there was a bold decision, uh, that seemed bold to make a new career change. Then there was another decision that said, okay, at least for now I'm going to go take a job, but that there doesn't have to be any judgment around that. It simply was the next thing that seemed appropriate to do. I think that that is where we can unfortunately create a lot of suffering for ourselves inadvertently, is when we start to judge certain activities or certain steps as being right or wrong, or, oh, this didn't turn out, so that was a wrong move. I don't really see it like that anymore. It simply seems like the next move. Like, for instance, So somebody could say to me, well, you spent 4 years studying music and your parents spent money on your education and all that, and you didn't do anything with it. So that's kind of a failure, right? Well, I don't see it that way at all because whatever step we take is always, if it's coming from this place of inner innate boldness, if you will, this desire to move and do something, it's always showing us something about ourselves. Whatever the outcome is, is whatever the outcome is. We don't have any control over that anyway, really, it looks to me. So I take these as ways of exploring who we actually are and, and looking at ourselves differently. So I hope that was helpful. Angela has a question here. I've noticed that I felt bolder when I didn't have a family or when I wasn't the main income earner, which I've noticed feels very constricted in my thinking. So Angela, I'm really glad you asked this because it relates to the other question that I was just talking about in that, you know, we, we have a lot of thinking around limitation. And one thing that I've noticed in myself for over the last 4 and a half years or so is that I don't need to listen to any thought that indicates a limitation because there is none. You know, there just is none. That would be like saying that there is some limitation on you know, the earth or something, or that there's some limitation as to how many stars there can be in the sky or something like that. And so I just ignore those now because I know that when I need an answer to something, I will have it. That's part of this incredibly helpful system that is within us that has allowed us to have these new ideas and act on them. So let me know if that was helpful, Angela. Nita, I love what Angel shared and see it all as so bold. Exactly right. You know, you make this decision to do something new, and then at a certain point you're like, okay, I need to make a different decision, so I'm going to go do this. And there doesn't have to be all that judgment around, you know, failure or success or any of that. That all looks really fuzzy to me now and not very real. It simply looks to me like Okay, we made a decision. We, you know, we explored that for a while, then it seemed right to do something else, and we simply did that. You know, just like we wouldn't— we wouldn't look at a bird, let's say, who is, you know, foraging for a worm and doesn't find any and then moves over to the next plot of grass and looks over there. We wouldn't say that that was a mistake. We'd simply say, oh, it didn't find what it was looking for there, and it heard a new idea. Oh, I'll go over to that next plot of grass. You know, I'm always thinking about animals and things now and realizing that I'm really no different from them, and I find that quite reassuring in some way. Adrian, question: what do you do when you know you want to move and do something bold but you aren't sure what that something bold is? Oh, interesting. Interesting question. Oh, thanks for that note, Adriana. Um, you aren't sure what that something bold is. Well, I hope this doesn't come across the wrong way, but I think we always have some idea. You know, we are kind of idea creation, idea generation machines. You know, that's how human beings function. We have a new idea, we have a new idea, we have a new idea. You know, that, that's how we're designed as people. We don't even have to work at this. It simply happens. We have ideas that pop into our head all the time. So I think what happens is that we hear an idea and we judge it. We go, oh no, I can't do that. That's too bold. That's too bright. I know I can't do that. And then we dismiss it. And I guess what I would encourage you to do is to listen for those new ideas. And instead of then listening to the next thought that comes in that says, oh, I could never do that. You know, don't give so much attention to that and pay attention more to what's inspiring to you. So I hope that was helpful, Adrian. Oh sure. Oh, hi Trevor, good to see you. Uh, Trevor has a question. Do you think bold is a feeling of fear, excitement, like when you step outside your comfort zone, or some kind of more universal experience? Hmm, interesting question. Um, I see it as a little bit of both, I guess. I think it's a universal experience because of what I was just describing earlier, that it seems to be that everyone has this sensation. Every single person has this sensation, and it can also be accompanied by that sense of excitement. Like all of the, the stories that you guys gave earlier about times when you felt like you did something bold, I would be willing to bet that at the time that those came to you to do, there was this feeling of kind of electricity, or, or it might have even been a sense of calm, like, absolutely, this is what I'm doing. You know, I had that happen one time where I made a decision to move from Los Angeles to another part of California, San Luis Obispo, without a job, without knowing anyone. I had, I think, only about I don't know, maybe 3 or 4 months worth of money in the bank. And I was injured at the time, so I couldn't work. And people were like, are you crazy? What are you doing? Why would you do that? And I said, well, I don't know. It seems like the right thing to do. And it had a feeling of certainty, like absolutely knowing that that was what I was going to do. There was some buzz around it, a little bit of excitement and electricity, like, wow, I wonder what's going to happen. But it does seem to me to be a universal kind of experience. So thanks for that, Trevor. Mike, bold seems like just another thought, like fear or guilt. Before the thoughts, bold now seems like whatever new insights or ideas prompt me to create or take action or speak up or even not take action. Kind of depends on what wants to be created or done, i.e., nature or my nature. That pretty much encapsulates what I'm going for here. Mike, is that I think we can start to see bold in a different way. That is— yeah, I like it too. Mitsui likes what you said, Mike. I think we can start seeing bold in a different way where we can start to see it more as simply a natural part of being human, and it doesn't have to seem like this big scary thing. We can have this feeling of like, oh, I'm kind of tiptoeing through life, playing it safe. And instead we can go, wait a minute, my natural self is what I have previously been describing as being bold. So what if I dove into that? What if I just looked at that and said, wow, I want to explore that. I want to explore my natural self? You know, I don't need to label it as something like you said, like scary or whatever. It's simply the, the natural part of myself, like you said, that wants to come forth. What would that be like to explore that? That seems really, really exciting to me. So Mike, let me know if that makes sense in the context of what you're saying. 'Cause that's how it has started to look for me, to me. So thank you for that. You're so good at that, Mike, you really are. Brian, yes, I see bold is our natural state. Fear feels natural as well. My fear of losing my retirement income to pursue my dreams seems to overpower boldness. Interesting, Brian, because, you know, fear is a natural feeling, a state as well, but the funny thing is, I hope this doesn't sound weird, but it's nothing to be afraid of. It's natural. And I don't give it much attention anymore, uh, except if I'm crossing the street or something. I'm, you know, being careful of, you know, not getting hit by a car or something, you know. But in terms of those kinds of fears, they are another example of a limitation that can't possibly be true. It's that kind of thought is telling you that you have a limit on something that is unlimited. And so those kinds of thoughts, I don't, I don't think, I don't really give them the time of day anymore. I thank them for coming and I wave at them. And that's kind of come over time of just seeing that every time I have seen what looks like a limitation, it's always proven to be not true. And so I'd love for you to experiment with that, Brian. Mitsui, oh, your question doesn't make sense. So let's see. Well, can there be a situation where we're not being bold, is it simply giving in to pressure? It's still an interesting question. Yeah, I don't think so. I think that we're always acting, whether we're aware of it or not, I think we're always acting from a natural intelligence that is, you know, telling us what the right thing is to do at that time. And so I don't think we even have to worry, again, placing any kind of measurement or judgment on that and calling it like giving in to pressure. That's such a common phrase, and I don't think we need to go there anymore. And isn't that freeing? I mean, yeah. So thanks for asking that. So gosh, I love this conversation, everybody. I'm so excited that, you know, that You guys have been so incredibly, gosh, insightful and provocative. And really, your comments have made a big difference to me. I have gotten so much from what we've said so far. Trevor, I began to see that those kinds of thoughts, like Brian's comment, are thinking inside your own box, presuming that you can't make good because you keep telling yourself the same stories about the past. Yeah, and it's kind of like— those stories are going to keep coming up. You know, they still will, but they don't have to look like they are the power here because they're not the power in the equation. You know, if we are starting to see this boldness as our natural state, then, you know, like I say sometimes to people, you know, those thoughts don't know who they're talking to here. Those thoughts don't know who they're talking to. They're trying to tell me that I have limitations on me, you know, I can sort of, like I said, wave at them and say, hey, thanks for showing up, but you know, that simply isn't true. Oh gosh, this has been so exciting. Any other thoughts as we're coming up to the top of the hour? If I may, if I have your permission, do I have your permission to focus your attention on a couple of things? And then we'll wrap this up. So let me know if I can just redirect you for a moment. Thanks, Trevor. So a couple of things up in the chat further up. I have a little download. It's just for the ladies, guys. It's a, it's an interesting little document I thought you might find inspiring called I'm a Woman Behaving Boldly. And I can put the link back here and down at the bottom. Let me put it here. You don't have to opt in for it or anything. It's just just right there. And I'm offering a new kind of business coaching, one-to-one business coaching that I've called Bold Coaching. And if you're interested in applying for that, you can click that green button and it will take you over to an application form. And I have some more information on it on my website at maryschiller.com. At the top it says apply for one-to-one business coaching and you can find out more there. And if you're on my email list, you're also hearing about it. So I didn't want to end this without bringing that up because it might be very interesting for you. If you have been creating your own business and you felt a bit stuck, kind of hampered by all kinds of ideas and not sure where to go, I really think that this coaching could be very useful to you because it will be based on everything I'm talking about in these 3 talks. So I hope to hear from you if you're interested in that. And you can always email me with questions, mary@marieschuller.com. Mark, boldness is our natural state. I like that. Nikki, the thoughts don't know who we are, and it is— and I love that last comment about who the thoughts are trying to talk to. Yeah, because, you know, imagine, you know, it's kind of like I was describing about the birth process, or if you, you know, we've all been in some kind of weather incident, and it's kind of like, okay, You know, I get it. I get who's in charge here. There's something in charge here. And it's a lot bigger than the thoughts that are running through my head at any given moment. It's really our natural state. And our natural state is one that is unstoppable, that has no boundaries around it, that as far as I can tell, is the only thing really worth exploring because there's no end to what we can discover about what we are. And the more we engage in that kind of self-discovery and we act on these bold ideas that we have and these inspirational ideas that we have, the more we discover what's really going on here. The less likely we are to be staring at that thought cloud, And thinking that that's what we are and thinking that that is how life really is, you know, all of those, those thoughts are still going to be there, but they look very different from this vantage point. So, so yeah, so, oh great, cool. I'm glad you like that, Elizabeth. I like what you said, Mary. Kathy says the power is not in stories. We are the power. Yeah, we are the power. Because the stories are coming through us, right? They're coming through us. So what is behind them? Well, we're behind them. So, you know, as far as I can tell, there is nothing that has the power here except for us, which is really exciting. Oh, you're welcome, Ali. Is red the color of bold? Yeah, I think so. Don't you think? I don't know. I love red. I've always loved red. And I'm going to start putting more of it in my wardrobe because I decided I still actually look good in it. You know, you got to think of fashion when you live in Paris. There's a lot of real fashionable people around here. So I was like, how can I up my fashion game? I think I'm going to add more red into it. Hi Anya, this is so helpful, Mary. Thank you. You're welcome. Many things I haven't done, but I've gotten stuck in this place of I don't know if I really want to start group coaching or if I think it's worth pursuing. Now I can see a very easy way of assessing these thoughts. And when I first thought of starting a group coaching, I was so excited. It came from a deep and true place. Then thoughts came up and made me question. I'm not questioning it anymore. Absolutely fantastic. Now seeing that following bold is following the things that come from my true nature from universal mind. I love that, Anya. Thank you so much. Oh, you're very welcome, Terry. Any final thoughts as we wrap up? Here's to me in red. I think this This is actually the only red item that I own right now so I think maybe this week I'll go find something else. Oh, thanks Nita and thank you for the well wishes you guys about my improving health. I am getting there. You know, I'm actually feeling a lot better. I just have a little bit of remnants of congestion, a little coughing left but you know, nothing major so this flu is not going to get the best of me. Thanks Kathy. I'm glad I sound better. I know with the matching lipstick too. 3 or 4 different shades of red lipstick, so I picked this one because it's my favorite. It's by Chanel. Again, I need to go back and get some more of that too. So, any evolution needs boldness and red, Jan says. Yeah. Oh, thank you for that sweet comment, Nikki. I really appreciate that. You know, I really do. I really do want people to have a much more exciting, as well as relaxed and just a fun experience of this thing called life. You know, it doesn't have to be filled with suffering. You know, I spent 30 years of my life in suffering. And, and, you know, now that I am not in that on a daily basis, it's just so exciting to live this way and to explore what's possible and to take those steps that feel like the next thing that we want to do without all of this pressure around it and seeing it more as, you know, this is how we're made, this is how we're naturally made as people, that there's nothing that we have to conjure up. We don't have to conjure up any courage, we have it already. We don't have to— excuse me— we don't have to, you know, wait for some, I don't know, for something to happen or for some specific feeling to come to us. We simply know oftentimes what the next thing is to do, and we can simply do it. We can simply do it. So gosh, thanks everyone for being here. It's been such a joy to be on this call with you. If you are watching the replay, thank you so much for watching the replay. That means a lot to me. And again, if there's a question that came to mind that you didn't want to post in the conversation feel free to email me, mary@marieschiller.com. If you have any questions about the new coaching offering, again, please feel free to email me. There's a call that goes along with that as well, sort of a consultation to see if it's the right fit. So, you know, I really want to make sure that's the right thing for you if that's of interest. So please don't hesitate to get in touch. I am always here for you and you mean the world to me. So, you know, my arms are wide open to you. And I love all of your natural boldness and your willingness to show up and to be open to hearing something new. That certainly is a bold step in my book. So thanks everybody. Thank you, Mitz. I wish I could say thank you personally to everybody. Thank you, Lynn. Thank you, Jeanette, Elizabeth, Nita. I'm trying to remember everyone. Allie, Trevor, Brian, Mike, everybody. Thank you so much, and I hope you'll tune in tomorrow. We're going to continue this discussion with a little bit different slant, and I would love to see you all there. So thanks again, and have— thanks, Lady in Red Mary. Awesome job. Hey, thank you. So I will see you again very soon, and have a wonderful evening or day wherever you are in the world. I will talk to you very soon. Hope to see you tomorrow. Bye for now.
