You're free to ask for, and receive, money (and lots of other things)

Hello, hello, or should I say bonjour? Actually, it would be bonsoir right now because it is 6:00 PM here in Paris. It is June 1st, 2018, and this is our first of two Facebook Lives here in the Let's Make Money Honey group. I am Mary Schiller, author and coach of MarySchiller.com, and your host for the program and for this group and this Facebook Live. Hi, Laurie. Nice to see you. Bonjour to you. It's kind of funny. I'll just vamp for a minute until more people can come, but I'm listening to a book right now called The Bonjour Effect, and it's all about conversation in France, not just the words themselves, but what they mean underneath the words. I just started listening to it today while I was doing some painting of the walls here in the apartment. And it was pretty interesting so far. I realized that someone said something to me a few weeks ago that I thought was sort of funny. And it was actually an insult. So hi, Just Paul. Hi, Katie. Hi, Helen. Hi, Karen. So that was a revelation I had while listening to this book, The Bonjour Effect. Hi, Cathy, nice to see you. But, you know, it's really been interesting to be immersed and submerged in a different culture now for more than a year, and I feel like I'm just starting to understand a little bit more about how French people think and how they converse. And so I need all the help that I can get. Hi, Erna. Nice to see you here. So I'm going to go ahead and get started. I want to thank you for joining. If you're watching this on the replay, please feel free to post a comment here in the group if you're watching it in the group, and I will post it in the Teachable class as well. So thank you for joining that way too. I'm really eager to hear from all of you about some updates. Hi, Nikki. Any updates or insights that you'd like to share, and of course I will take your questions. I am just in a very nice mood today. I always get very happy when I know that I'm going to be talking with you, and it's just such a pleasure to be in your company. So thank you for being here on this particular Facebook Live. I'm going to talk about our theme for June, which relates in a way to what the theme was for May, which was all about giving. And when I asked you guys for some input on the theme, I really took it to heart, and I decided that the theme for June— drum roll please— will be asking and receiving, asking and receiving. And when I was thinking some more about this today as I was painting the wall in the apartment, which I'm looking at right now and seeing a few places I need to touch things up, as always, I realized that this theme— hi, Anne— is actually really, really big. I didn't realize that when I first settled on it, but as I was doing this painting and kind of contemplating things, I realized that the whole idea of asking and receiving has been pretty important for me in my life, mostly because for the longest time, I never asked for anything. Or it was so rare that I had to sort of buck up all my courage in order to ask for something. Hi, Trish, thanks for being here. So I'd like to just pause there for a second and see if anybody who is listening right now, do you have trouble asking for things? And I'm making that broad on purpose because Hi, Nita. Because for me, it was tough to ask for pretty much anything. I had trouble asking for help even when I needed it. Hi, Ellie. I definitely had trouble asking for money, especially when I was a freelance writer and I was submitting like a proposal for something. Ellie says, sometimes you do, sometimes you don't. Yeah, the theme, Jeanette, is asking and receiving, kind of both together. Helen says, yes, I can relate to discomfort in asking for things. Karen, yes, you're experimenting with that more. Yeah, and actually, Karen, I'm glad you said that because that's kind of the point of the theme this month is that I want you to experiment with both asking and receiving this month, and I'll kind of explain explain what I mean by that. Jeanette says you don't ask when you think you should know. Oh, interesting. Huh, that's interesting. I also remember having a conversation with a very good friend of mine who I used to, I met at a job. We were sitting next to each other in cubicles at this job and we just hit it off and we've become very close friends. And when we were working there, We were talking about asking for a raise, and she had told me about an experience she had at her prior job where there were her and another woman and two men, and they were all at the same level. And the men, when it was time for their review, they went in and asked for a huge raise, and they got it. And the women, it never even occurred to them to ask for a raise at all. They were kind of just waiting to see what was gonna be offered to them. And that was a big lesson to her about the fact that there are a lot of times when we can ask for something, even if it looks like we can't or shouldn't ask for something. So that kind of stuck with me and helped me to realize you know, how often I'm not asking for something when I actually could. Trish says, rejection, I always took it so personally when I got a no. Yeah, I think I had a lot of fearful thinking about what would happen if I asked for something and the person said no, so I just kind of avoided going there in the first place. Hi, Laurie. Oh wow, what a great theme for you. Feels so hard for you to ask for help. Receiving feels almost just as hard. That's why I'm putting the two together. Asking and receiving both because they do seem connected. So I remember I got some pretty big lessons in this whole asking thing. I was remembering this today as I was painting. Actually, 18 years ago, I— my husband and my daughter and I were going through a tremendously difficult period of time. And I usually handled things pretty well, but I went into a very low emotional state, lower than I had really ever been for about a month. And during that month, my husband was so kind to me and he reminded me that if I needed help, I could ask for it specifically. He was good at trying to anticipate what I needed, but we're not mind readers of other people. So he actually said, "Please ask me when you would like me to do something if I can't tell that you need it done." So that was another lesson for me, that there are people who are willing to help if we ask, and that they can't read our minds. So it's often a good idea to be more explicit about what we need from someone or would like from them. Hi, Dorothy, thanks for being here. Our theme for June, Dorothy, in case you just joined, is asking and receiving. So I'm talking a little bit about the asking part first and wondering if this is difficult for anybody to ask for help or ask for money or ask for just about anything. Hi, Ernet, you can ask anyone for anything when you make it okay for them to say no. Oh, is that from Super Coach by Michael? Oh, interesting. Yeah, I think that for me it wasn't so much— I mean, it was partly that, I think, but it was more that I felt like I should be able to do everything myself. I had always been a self-reliant kind of person, and because of my experience in my first marriage, I didn't really have a safety net there, so I had to rely on my own wits all the time just to survive that very violent relationship. And so when I came out of that, I was still seeing myself as somebody who shouldn't ask for help, that I should be able to do everything myself. And I spent a lot of years in that kind of state of mind, frame of mind, and I feel like I missed a lot of opportunities to ask for help and allow someone the chance to do that, if that makes sense. Because what I've seen since then is that this is also about helping somebody else to show their innate generosity. You know, it's not just about us asking and receiving, it's about helping somebody else feel that power in giving. Hi, Lori. I actually don't feel like I'm afraid of a no, just judgment. I think of me that I feel I need to ask. Yeah, that's kind of what I'm talking about, Lori. So Erna thinks that's a woman thing. I do think so, but not entirely, not entirely, because I know men who have trouble with this too, because they have a lot of thinking that says they should have the answers for everything. You know, a lot of men like to fix things, like to fix problems, solve problems, and if they don't have the answer, it's not always easy for them to ask, like asking directions, you know, that one. Hi, Helen. Does anyone else get in a tangle thinking I shouldn't have to ask? Maybe just me, this is kind of touching a nerve a bit. No, absolutely. That's what I'm talking about is that I was, for most of my life, I felt kind of a couple of things. I would go back and forth between I shouldn't have to ask because I should know how to do this myself, I should be able to take care of it, so I just wouldn't. And I would just, if I didn't know how to do something, I would either figure it out or kind of muddle my way through and struggle and not succeed very well. Or sometimes I would have the thought of, you know, can't so-and-so, doesn't so-and-so know what I need? You know, can't they pick up on my signals here? And I have since seen that we can't place that on another person, in other words, We are free to ask anything, really. We're free to ask for anything. We're free to ask any question. That any thinking that we've got that says we shouldn't or we can't ask for something, we just are not obliging-eridanus to listen to. It's just another rabbit hole that we can fall down into that is not particularly helpful. So I made a few notes about this. And the first note that I made is about what I've been talking about, that we, we can ask for help, and then at the same time, on the receiving part, we have to be willing to receive that help. So I've also had the same kind of thinking where, you know, I I've, this is really embarrassing to admit, and I wasn't planning to go here, but oh well. You know, where I feel a lot of the times like, a lot of times like, well, I know how to do it best, so I'm not gonna ask anyone to help me. And you know, so if somebody would volunteer even to help me, I would think to myself, well, no, because I know how to do it better, you know, so why would I let them? Well, I've since kind of calmed down from that way of thinking too, and realized that it's also a gift to give to somebody someone to be able to do something for me. And however they do it is lovely. You know, if it comes from their place of inspiration and, and all of that, then it's a beautiful gift to me, no matter what the actual thing looks like, if that makes sense. Hi, Laurie. I feel the same way. Feel there are situations where I shouldn't have to ask, especially in your job. Oh, feel like the imposter, like I should know how to do something with teaching. Yeah, I have felt some of that same thing when it comes to coaching, for instance. Like if I've gotten into a situation and I'm not really sure what to do, I've had to really set aside a lot of the thinking that says I should know what to do. I don't want to ask anyone for help because it'll make me look weak or it'll make me look like I don't know what I'm doing or make me look like I'm not professional. I just now kind of set all that off to the side and I have somebody as a coach/friend that I turn to in those cases and say, okay, I'm kind of up against a wall of thinking here. I don't know what I'm seeing. Are you able to see something that I'm not? And invariably, this person can see something that I can't. It's like, oh, of course, it's right in front of me. So she has been a big help to me in terms of helping me get over the thinking that I've got that it's not okay to ask for help even in a professional way. So, so I think in terms of asking for help, it's, it's all, it all comes down to the same thing, which is that we are simply allowed to do that. And when we do that, it allows the person that we're asking to engage with a beautiful part of themselves that gives us something, and then we can in turn activate the lovely gift of receiving. And I think a lot of us too have trouble receiving things, which is why I put both of these in here. So, hi Mimi, thanks for joining. So let me just pause there and ask you this. Are you the type of person who has a lot of kind of strange thinking about receiving things, whatever that might be. Again, I don't want to be too prescriptive about what that is, but it could be anything from receiving help to receiving gifts to receiving money to receiving love and affection, compliments, anything like that, because I have definitely had lots and lots and lots of thinking I was listening to in that regard. And Mimi says yes. Yeah, me too. I think that it's only really been, oh goodness, maybe in the last 8 to 9 months if I kind of am thinking of the calendar. Oh, a few other people, Lori and Lori, that I've started to kind of see through that and have, And what's interesting, Jeanette says you're good there. Okay, cool. Nina says, yeah, you've had trouble receiving. And what's so interesting about it is that when I started to become a little bit more aware of the fact that I had this kind of thinking that said, for instance, since this is a money-focused group, things like, you know, It's not okay for me to earn more than X per year, you know, because that's the amount that I had never surpassed, let's say. When I started to see through that and go, well, that's kind of silly. Why would I listen to a thought like that? I very quickly went past that number and it was like, I don't know, it was a really weird thing. It was almost like some kind of a magic trick. Like as soon as I saw, oh, I've got some kind of weird limit that I'm looking at in terms of receiving money, so let's just not go there. Let's not listen to that. Then more money started to come to me and it was quite easy as well. So that was a big lesson. Katie, usually feel a bit funny asking for and receiving money. Trish, I am often dismissive of compliments. Trevor, hi, no problem, Trevor. Our theme for June is asking and receiving, kind of both sides of this. So I do think that what is so interesting about this in terms of money, for instance, if we have trouble receiving money, is that the money is already there. There. And it's not like we have to even, I don't even know how to put this very well, but it's not like we have to make this big ask or anything. A lot of times, I don't know if this has ever happened to you, but a lot of times when I have simply said, you know, this is how much I charge for X, people will just say, okay, and they pay it. So it doesn't have to be this big ordeal like I used to make it in my own mind. And oftentimes people are thrilled to be able to do that for you and for me. You know, they're, they're really happy to be able to pay for something that they feel is valuable. Hi, Wendy, nice to see you here. Hi, Laurie. I feel vulnerable sometimes if I ask for help. I'm having a personal problem or something or have questions with my business. People will know too much about me. Oh, I'll be embarrassed and then relationships become lopsided. They always want to give me help but they don't come to me when they need something. Oh, that's interesting. I don't know how to address that specifically except to say that If they don't come to you when they need something, it may just be because they're having a lot of thinking about asking for help. Or in a situation like that, you can be more direct and say, what can I help you with? Is there something that I could do to assist you with XYZ? And just see what they say. And just be a little more direct on your side, perhaps. Katie, not so personal after all. Yeah, it's interesting how many of us do have this sense that money in particular is very personal, and asking for money or receiving money is seen as this weird personal measurement or something, and it's just nothing of the sort. It's nothing of the sort, as we've been talking about in this other program, The Freedom Formula. It's more like a nice aftereffect of something that we're creating in the world. Of the impact that we're having on people. And so that we would have any hesitation at any point to, for example, put a price tag on something seems a bit weird to me now. It's not like I never have thoughts like that. I do. But now I'm much less likely to buy into them because they look kind of silly to me. That it's weird to ask for money or it's wrong to charge X amount for whatever service it is. That just seems odd to me now, and before it looked so incredibly true. It's amazing how your perception can start to shift pretty quickly. Lori says, yeah, it is, it's about their thinking, so there's not much we can do about other people's thinking. Hi, Ellie. I think definitely have a weird thing about asking for money and receiving money, though recently I've been much more able to put a price on a coaching package that feels right for me. That's great, because that tells me that you are also kind of seeing through what I saw through, that there's really no reason not to do that. And in fact, kind of like I was talking about last month, it sets in motion something that is already natural to all of us, which is this reciprocity, this giving and receiving, giving and receiving. And part of that starts with asking. That's why I put— I was going to make the month just about receiving, and I thought, well, I think the asking piece is key too, because if you're talking about money, for instance, and you're working for yourself, or if even if you're working for someone else and you want to ask for a raise, there is the asking piece that has to happen in there somewhere, you know, in some shape or form. Hi, Katie. Yes, I think we feel that much more. Oh, that's nice. I'm glad, Katie, that you're having the sense that this is more of a natural process than we might have realized, that money is really no different from any other output or energy or however you want to look at it, it's no different from anything else in this life. And, you know, it's like when I see my plants I'm looking at right now in need of water, it's kind of like they're asking and then I give it to them. It's no different from that. It's the same simplicity as that. Hi, Dorothy. Hey, Mary, my kids' school is doing a fun drive. I usually give generously but don't have it at the moment. They have bagged, bagged, oh, and henpecked you to the point of craziness. Ah, I think there's a way to ask graciously and never be nagging or needy, which can trip the other switch. Ask, then let it go. Yeah, that's a really, that's a really big point you've raised, Dorothy. The way that, that I think that this has played out for me, especially like I said in the last 8 to 9 months, although it started before then when I kind of started to see through the whole money thing, I realized that when I ask someone for money to pay me for something that I'm offering, I don't need their money. I don't need it from them. And this seems very antithetical in a lot of ways, but, you know, it's just become very obvious to me that I don't need any particular person's money. There's plenty of money available to me and to everybody. And there are innumerable, literally innumerable ways that I can earn an income. So if I'm putting an offer out to someone or putting a price on something and somebody balks at paying it or, you know, or whatever, it doesn't bother me at all because I don't need their money. I simply don't. And, you know, I've also had people sort of badger me in different ways in that regard. And I just kind of say politely, well, this is simply what I charge. And I have no problem doing that now. Whereas in the past, I think I would have felt like I needed to, oblige them more, but I don't, I don't have that sensibility these days. It's more about me asking for what I would like to have and being open to receiving that. And if that isn't something that they want to do, that's okay. I don't, I don't have anything on that anymore. I don't take it personally. I, yeah, I would never pester somebody in that way, like ever. I just wouldn't do it. So I think I really thank you for pointing that out. Another note that I made to myself is that this whole idea of asking and receiving— excuse me— also relates to something much bigger than money or even asking for help. And I didn't come up with a great way of saying this before I got on here, so bear with me. I'm going to kind of muddle through this. We can always ask for new ideas. We can literally ask for new ideas. We can say, I do this sometimes, I'll say out loud, I'll say, you know, kind of stuck on something, I could really use some new ideas. I have no idea who I'm talking to. It seems like I'm talking to some piece of my bigger self whatever it is that supplies the new ideas, some kind of universal intelligence or something. And I just will say, you know, I would really love some new ideas for whatever it is. Sometimes I'll do that before I go to bed. I'll say, you know, really like some new ideas when I wake up tomorrow 'cause I'm kind of going around in circles in old thinking and I'd like to see something new, okay? And it's amazing how often that actually works. So I'd love to know how you guys do that, if you do. My coach that I was telling you about before has a method that works really well for her, which I've also used, where I will ask a question. I'll say, you know, can I— I need some What are some possible solutions for this problem? And I'll have a pen and paper handy, and as soon as I ask the question, I write down everything that comes into my head. As weird as it is, as bizarre as it is, I write it all down. And here's the point. You do that, but it doesn't work, Lori. Well, here's what I think might help you, Lori, is that a lot of times, We will hear something, and before we've even had a chance to acknowledge it, we dismiss it. So it's almost like we didn't hear it. This has happened to me many, many times, and I started to get kind of clued into it because I realized that I would hear a new idea and it would be so out there that I would, even before I'd had a chance to consciously acknowledge it, I would just go, oh, no way. And then it would be gone. And it would be like totally dismissed. And so Lori, I would suggest that first of all, you do get new ideas all the time. I see it in your beautiful artwork. So the ideas are there and they're coming to you. It may be in certain situations though, this is what I noticed for myself, that in certain situations I would immediately have this no thinking, you know, that would be like, no, can't do that, no, no, no. And I was like, wow, that is really interesting how when I ask certain types of questions for certain, for, you know, help on certain things, the immediate next thought after the new idea is no. And as soon as I became even the tiniest bit aware of that, it really changed everything because I suddenly was like, well, wait, let's take a beat in between. Even if the no comes up, I'm gonna just go, wait, pause, and let's see what that idea actually was. And some of those ideas that I have heard that have been what I would label as outlandish or, oh my gosh, I could never do that, have turned out to be some of the best things that I've done in terms of my own life, in terms of my business, in terms of my relationships. So I think that if that's what's happening for you, you may have that sort of automatic thought mechanism that says no. Kathy says that's true. Katie thinks so, true. Trevor, asking in that way never fails, you've done it for years. Oh, cool. And you know, it's interesting, it's not even a belief for me anymore. It's now more like this is simply how it works where, you know, when ideas come to me that I haven't heard before or, and I'm saying haven't heard before because I may have had them before but maybe I didn't hear them. Because a lot of times, because I write down a lot of my ideas, this is funny, I will already have an idea that I've written down before. And I didn't remember it at all. I might have dismissed it. I might have written it down and just dismissed it. And then suddenly, there it is again. And it's like, oh, you know, maybe this is the time for me to actually take some action on this idea. Hi, Dorothy. Sorry, service interrupted. What is it, Joe? Do you do that once again? What did you want me to say there, Dorothy? Let me know a little more specifically, and I'll say it again. Hi, Laurie, I can really relate to the immediate no or some version of that. It's so habitual, it never really jumped out as something other than normal. Yeah, exactly. I appreciate you pointing that out. So excited to see what may happen next time. That's exactly it. So it's so habitual that we don't even realize that it's happening. And so I think what has been helpful to me And this may be helpful to you, which is one more reason I'm bringing it up. Oh, okay, Dorothy, I'll tell you that in a second. Is that I can now look back on things in my life, even way, way, way long time ago, and I can see examples of times when I listened to what looked like a crazy idea and acted on it—important piece—and really cool stuff happened. Afterwards. So it doesn't seem so scary to me anymore to go, "Oh, all right, I'll try that." And so Dorothy, what I was saying was, and some people on here, I'll often just say out loud, "I'd really like some new ideas about whatever." Sometimes I do it before I go to bed. Sometimes I do it with pen and paper, and then whatever occurs to me, I just write down, no matter how crazy it sounds. Because a lot of times what we judge as crazy really isn't that crazy. It's just different, that's all. It's something that has the potential to open us up to an entirely new experience, and it's something that is gently nudging us in that direction. And I feel that there's a reason for that. I don't, I don't have the ability to explain why that happens, but it definitely seems like I can be more receptive to those sorts of new thoughts. Hi, Katie, me too. Often the thing that seemed illogical or scary to others. Yeah, like I'll give you an example of that. You know, when we had the idea to move over here to France from the US, you know, it was something that we had thought about for a long time. And when we had the idea that it was actually time to try to do it, you know, our lives on paper were kind of a mess, as I've mentioned before. Our finances were just not good and just things were really, it was just, you know, we were expecting my father-in-law to pass away at any time. It was just not a quote unquote good time to listen to an idea like that and then act on it. But my husband and I were like, Yeah, this seems really illogical and it looks like totally the wrong thing, but we're gonna try to do it anyway. And, you know, every step of the way was like, is this really a good idea? I don't know, I'm just gonna keep going. I'm gonna keep following whatever breadcrumbs show up and just see what happens. And every new idea that came to us along the way, as crazy as it sounded, we just kept going. Obviously, there were no guarantees that this would actually occur, but we did manage to get this all together somehow. That's a big example for me. Hi, Trevor. Mind mapping works for you, just one way to do it. Yeah, I'm glad you mentioned that because I'll go back to Lori Levine's comment. We get new ideas. In lots of different ways, lots and lots of different ways. I think I've mentioned this before. If not, I'll say it again. You know, everybody has their own way that is unique to them that they hear new ideas. You know, asking questions like that out loud is helpful to me. But other things are helpful to me too. Like I think I've mentioned to you, I get very creatively inspired and get lots of new ideas when I listen to classical music, in particular Beethoven. I just, I have studied his music a lot and was a music student my whole life. And so I, there is some kind of connection, some kind of visceral connection that I sense when I listen to classical music and I get very engaged with it. And I'm sort of my, it's not just an enjoyment experience. It's like a different part of me gets switched on when I'm listening to it. And I'm kind of analyzing what's going on in the music and I'm hearing what the different instruments are doing. And so it's like I'm hearing something new through that. And invariably, invariably, after I've had sort of a session of listening to somewhat complex classical music, I will have new ideas for things that I could create. Books, programs, you know, all kinds of things that I could do. And that happens in other settings for me too, and I'm sure you all have your own things that do that for you, that light sparks and bring new ideas. So, you know, there's nothing wrong with using those tools, if you will. I hate to use that word, but it's the only word I can think of. To ask for new ideas. Hi, Katie. Oh wait, let me go back up. I think I missed somebody. Hi, Dorothy. Maybe like the real-life Spider-Man in Paris that climbed 4 stories in less than half a minute. Yeah, illogical, impossible, done. Exactly. That was quite amazing. Katie, similar to me when I decided to move house here, was unable to work due to illness. Getting a mortgage wasn't assured, but it worked, and many other great things I couldn't have predicted. Yeah, exactly. You know, if you think about the Spider-Man guy, you know, he obviously had no idea that he would be offered, you know, the chance to become a permanent resident in France after rescuing this child off the balcony, you know, but as you say, he followed this illogical, crazy idea and then all sorts of other things occurred. So, hi Lori, I think I meant asking at night, oh, for an answer in the morning doesn't work. What does help is talking something through. Yeah, sometimes I'll get the beginning of an idea, but the rest isn't there. And that does happen in paintings too, which is why some take a really long time to finish. Katie says you get something similar when painting art. And Lori, I can see that maybe I do dismiss ideas or don't follow them through. Yeah, so I think what might be a fun experiment for you, all of you, this month is to See if you can be a little more receptive in all areas of life, and that includes new ideas for things. So instead of listening to that instant no that a lot of us hear, you know, hit the pause button somehow and go, oh wait, what did I just hear? What was that again? You know, and give it some space to breathe. Before instantly dismissing it. And you might be really surprised at— I mean, I can get kind of emotional about this because I feel like this is sort of a secret that nobody tells you, that if you listen for these ideas that sound somewhat outlandish and you actually act on them, it's like you can take huge leaps forward in any area of your life that looks like a problem or looks like something that needs to change. I feel like this is the key piece that I didn't understand for a very long time. And once I started to see it and started to experiment with it more consciously, it was what unlocked the door and just allowed me to walk into an entirely new reality. Hi, Katie. Like Branson, Virgin Galactic, fairly scary in Atlantis. Yeah, exactly. I mean, Yeah, that's a good example too. You know, if people who were inventors, let's say, were not receptive to new ideas, where would we be? And they ask a lot of questions and they're open to receiving whatever the answer is. When I was working at a medical school in New York, I, in my role, I got to speak with a lot of the researchers on staff there. And they were constantly asking questions. And, you know, whatever the answer was, they were open to it because it got them the next step of the way towards a cure or whatever it was that they were working on. And it didn't really matter to them what the answer was. They didn't have any judgment around it. It simply was what it was. And then they took that and used it. And I found that to be quite inspiring. This was before I saw all of this for myself, quite a few years earlier for me, but I remember having that sense of, wow, you know, they're very open to what happens when they ask a certain scientific question. And then they take that information and they do something with it. So we can do the same thing. Hi, Kathy, unlock the door. Do this by following these outlandish ideas. Yeah, that's sort of what has happened to me. It's like when I get a new feeling of inspiration to try something and I actually try the thing, even if it has no result, quote unquote, that I thought might happen, I tend to not put any expectations on things, but sometimes they creep in, it's still, has a way of opening a new door. And especially if it's something that seems really frightening to me, like if I have a lot of scary thinking about something, I am now much more likely to go do it anyway. Because those seem to be the things that are sort of highly charged and have a lot of potential in them. And I remember having that feeling several times since creating this business with different offers I put out there that that I had tons and tons of scary thinking about, I just went for it anyway. And no matter what the result was, whether people bought it and liked it or bought it and didn't like it or didn't buy it or whatever, it still opened the doors to something new to me. And so that seems to be sort of, I don't know, like I said, sort of a secret that I wish I had known before. Hi, let's see. Let me go back here. Lori, this is so interesting. When I was growing up, everything was an automatic no. Yeah, so we can kind of get used to that. So I would like the asking and receiving and the whole package to be more of an automatic yes, I guess. Hi, Ernet. Asking opens the door to new possibilities. Exactly. It's like you sending consciousness ahead to get the answer for you. Oh, that's cool. I like that idea. Yeah, exactly. And Katie says nothing is wasted. Precisely. Kind of coming back to the asking piece, there's nothing to risk here. You know, we're not risking anything by asking for something, whatever the thing is, because we already have everything anyway. So we're allowed to ask for something, which sounds sort of ironic in a way, but it's like asking for what we already have in a sense, just in a different form. And then, you know, whatever we receive isn't wasted either because whether we receive what we think we quote unquote should receive or we receive something completely different, it's all helpful. It's all helping us to see something new about ourselves and yeah, nothing is wasted. That's a nice way to put it, Katie. So I think I'll pause there. Gosh, can't believe what time it is. I just looked at the clock. So I wanna make sure if you have any questions, I want to give you some time to ask them. So is anything on your mind that you would like some input on? Ernest says, "The more scary thinking, the better the idea." Yeah, that's sort of how it has looked to me, where the more, sorry, I just keep bumping this table. Nervousness or whatever that surrounds something, the more kind of brightly colored it looks like, ooh, possibility is in there, you know. Hi, Mimi. Asking seems to turn the formless into form. That's a really interesting way to look at it too. Yeah, exactly. It's kind of like there's something out there for you and we simply need to ask for it to show show up in some way. And it may— and I think what I was saying about the receiving piece is that it may look completely different from how you think it should or how you expect it to. And it's nice to be receptive to whatever shows up. Yeah, that's good. Dorothy, thanks, Mary. Oh yeah, very good. Thanks, Dorothy. So any questions? Anything on your mind about money? Any money updates you'd like to share? Any, any questions at all about last month's theme of giving or this month's theme of asking and receiving? I am open to any and all questions. So I'll just pause for a second and see, make sure I'm not missing anything. Sometimes the chat kind of goes past too fast. I can give you an example of something that I just did today, which since you're probably on my email list, you saw this. That, you know, I've had this idea rolling around about a different kind of program that I might want to offer. And this morning when I woke up, I was just like, you know what, I'm just going to ask people if they're interested in this. And if they are, great. If they're not, that's fine. I'll do something else or I'll figure out another way to put it together or whatever. And I had some kind of charged up thinking about it. And I was like, you know what, I'm just gonna do it anyway and just ask people what they think. And it's been really interesting because I have received some really helpful responses. And it's just another lesson, lesson, you know, 2025, that you can ask anything really. And you will receive something of value just by doing that. Hi, Mimi. Ask and you shall receive. You're going to give it a go. Yeah, exactly. And here's the thing too. I think that there's a misunderstanding about money in particular that somehow money is finite. Like there's only a certain amount of it, and if I have some, then you don't have it. You know what I mean? So like it's not okay to ask for money because then you're taking something from someone else. You may receive the money, but then it means that that person is then lacking the money, and that is just not the way it works because money, as with everything else, is limitless. It's limitless. So there is there is no such thing as a finite amount of money. And so, yeah, so I'll just leave it there and see if you have any thoughts about that. Lori Leach, it just occurred to me that last month's giving is another person's asking-receiving. Yes, that's why I picked this theme. Such an awesome new perspective, feels such openness and freedom. Excellent. Mimi, this is a difficult one for me because like you, I used to think that I can do it better. Yeah, I've kind of gotten over that. In most things. There are still some things that I, I see that way, but I'm getting clearer that I can't do everything and I don't do everything well. And so I'm much more open to people helping me with things. Hi, Wendy. I had a lot of thinking about asking for money owed. I was so surprised that once I asked, they put it in my account, no problem, that day. That happened twice. See, I just have to ignore my thinking and just ask. Yeah, exactly, because It's like I was just saying a moment ago, it doesn't mean that you are depleting someone in some way by asking them to pay you. It doesn't work like that. They don't have a finite amount of money. They have an infinite amount of money, even if it isn't in their bank account just yet. It's available to all of us. As much money as we could ever want or need is available. So that's another reason when that became clear to me that I don't have a problem asking to get paid. Because I know that that person, whoever I'm asking, has the money available if they want to use it for that. If they don't want to use it for that, that's okay. That's their decision and their priority. But it doesn't mean that if they give it to me that they have whatever it is less, if that makes sense. Hi, Trevor. Reason it's called currency is because it has to flow like a current. Yeah, that's a really nice way of putting that, Trevor, because that's exactly what's happening, right? It's, it's just kind of flowing in and amongst all of us and through us and to other people. And there's no end to that. There's, at least as far as I can tell. Like I said one time before, going to Monaco and seeing the amount of money and wealth on display was quite inspiring to me. It was like, wow, look at how much is available to us. It's like endless. You know, there's just so much of it. We can have as much as we wanna have. We simply have to provide something of value and put a price tag on it, and we get money back. Nikki, I love that you asked this morning. I have this idea that I have to wait to ask. Wait for what? I'm not sure I understand, Nikki. I might be missing your point. Love that you asked this morning. I have this idea that I have to wait to ask. Wait for what? Yeah, I mean, I think I understand what you're saying. Like, there isn't any reason to wait for anything. You know, like, when I sat down to send out the email to my subscribers with this question, and it was like, yeah, I don't really need to wait to ask them this question. If they're interested, then they are. If they're not, they'll either just pass or they'll unsubscribe or whatever. I don't have any control over that part, but it felt like it was worth asking because it seemed like something that could be helpful to people if they were interested in it. So there was really not much hesitation anymore about that, if that's what you mean. Hi, Trevor. Holding on to it is like trying to keep an ocean wave in a bucket. Are you talking about money? Holding on to money? You know, it's interesting too with money because This is going to sound really strange. And I don't want this to sound like I'm a spendthrift or something. But the more that I invest in myself, the more that I spend, the more that I have. I used to not seem that way at all. It used to seem like I was always spending more than I had. And now that doesn't seem how it is at all. It's more like, oh, I'd like to earn X amount to Hey, by the way, my bathroom is done. Woo-hoo! Mirror finally got put in this week after like weeks and weeks of waiting for it. But anyway, you know, and I was able to earn the money to pay for that in cash, no problem, that whole thing. Same with some other things that we needed to pay for with cash, earn the money, no problem. And it's just been interesting to see how when I ask for an idea for how could— what could I do, what could I offer that people would really value that, that would cover the cost of this bathroom? Boom, boom, boom, ideas came to me, kind of sorted through them, said, all right, let's try this one. Okay, let's try this one. And, you know, didn't dismiss any of them. Nikki, yeah, that's it. No reason to wait. Exactly. Yeah, money. So let me know if that helped Trevor, kind of bolster what you were saying. Mimi, I love the thumbs up and the guy with the glasses on. That's cool. So what other questions do you have? Comments? Erna, the more money I spent, the more money we'll receive. That's kind of how it seems. To me that, you know, I started to see, for instance, that, you know, having the money to pay this gentleman for the bathroom was— the bathroom remodel was helping him and helping us. And so it was fun to generate the income for that because I felt once again, like we were just saying a moment ago, that it was asking, giving, receiving, all kind of just happening all in a nice reciprocal circle. And so there's nothing yucky about any of this. He didn't hesitate to ask for the checks and I didn't hesitate to pay them. So to pay him and yeah. So what else is on your mind? Oh, it's been such a fun conversation, you guys, really appreciate it. Let me pause and see what else you guys have to say. Any questions? Any money updates or anything else you would like to share? Open. We are going to go spend some money in a restaurant this evening. I'm not sure where, maybe at the neighborhood couscous place, which is just around the corner from where we live. A little bit of a hole in the wall, but we really like the food. Okay, well, I guess— oh, let's see, Mimi, spending is like you're emptying a bucket and allowing for it to be filled up again. Yeah, because just like the rain, you know, it's an endless supply. There's never an end to it. There's never an end to it. So, or like more, maybe more like, you know, the rain in Kauai or something that's definitely always there every single day. Hi, Kathy, thanks so much. Oh yeah, me too. And I think I will sign off then. It sounds like you guys got something from this, which is great, and I really appreciate your being here. It's a real joy for me to facilitate these conversations in the group and on these Facebook Lives. And if there is ever something that you don't feel comfortable posting in the group, of course you can always email me at mary@maryschiller.com. Happy to be of service to you. And just thank you so much for being here. It means an awful lot to me to be amongst such a supportive group of people who really seem to care about one another. So, um, yes, exactly, Mimi. Money can come in even when you don't do anything for it. Exactly. All right, so we will continue the theme through June of asking and receiving and what we notice. So I will talk to you all very soon. Thanks, Trish. Thanks, Jeanette. Thank you, everybody—Erna, Nikki, everybody—for being here, both Lauries. And I will talk to you all again very soon. Keep posting in the group, and I'll see you soon. Bye.