A Few Thoughts on Perspective & Comparison in Life - Doc The Journey Ep 66

Yo, yo. Back with episode 66 or 67, I think. Keep this one shorter. It's Monday night in Bali. Up early today at the gym, hitting pretty nice session, followed by tanning and ice bathing and saunaing, which is a great way to start the day in the opposite, host up the day in London. I'm very fortunate in life to have what I would say is a very good network. And everywhere I go. Not everywhere I go, but in a lot of key places like London, Bali, Dubai. I know a lot of founders and I feel like all the people I know are founders. And it feels like it's got to the point where almost everyone, everyone that I consider a good friend is more successful than me. And yeah, I just wanted to discuss, like, perspective and comparison because it feels like pretty much two sides of the same coin. And to give an example, naming their names. They probably don't watch this, but went for dinner with the guy I know the other night, went to the beach club and shit on Sunday. All these pink shorts looking sus. One sec. And we've been having some decent growth recently. I was pretty happy with shit, how stuff's going. Speak to him. Like, I knew he was a killer before, but, you know, I hadn't spoke to him a while, I hadn't seen him in a while. He tells me he's doing like 4 million a month and I'm like, oh, fuck, that's a lot more than I'm doing. And he's been running the brand less time than I have. Instantly, I go from thinking I'm making good progress and, you know, generally happy with how things are going to, like, deep feelings of like, fuck me, I'm so at what I do. Maybe I should pivot to doing something a bit more like him, which was in this case, like higher. They wasn't subscription. Very different model. And I'm thinking, like, maybe I need to get out the UK market into America, because that's what he's doing. And then I started speaking to my girlfriend about it because I was like, fuck, that just got in my head and now I feel like I'm a fucking retard. And she's obviously like, oh, don't compare yourself. Blah, blah, blah, you know, comparisons. The theat, the. The thief of joy. And it definitely is, and I'm so bad at it, but it's like a blessing and a curse. It's a blessing in the sense that I know a lot of very successful people, including, like, my closer mates back home, many of which have been on the Pod and people know, know I mean, like that circling. And that's great to know those people because it makes you think that I can always level up. And, you know, there's proof that that stuff is possible, whether it's a big exit or making X amount of money by X age or building a sick brand. But the downside is I always, I often feel I. Not always, but often I'm like, fuck, everyone I know is ahead of me, everyone I know is doing better than me. And it probably doesn't help my mental. And I genuinely, like, genuinely most of the time think I'm a fucking failure and not doing anything of any level. But I'm also aware there's this whole cohort probably, you know, 95 plus of people that look at me like people that aren't in the game or early into the game or, you know, watch the YouTube and stuff, that look at me and think I'm doing really well. Like they genuinely want to be where I am. And it's, I guess it's a game of. The goal posts are always moving, right? Because when I was 21, if you said I, I could come to Bali, run my business, probably do eight figures in revenue this year, built this from scratch off the back of like a major failure in the previous ones. Like, it's not a fluke and you told me I could do that, I probably think that was amazing. But then obviously the goal post move very much over time. And I spoke about it before, like, with me, my bar was set so high from a young age because I saw a lot of big drop shipping numbers and, you know, I built brands before and I kind of had the whole fucking finance supercar lifestyle. And that sets the bar so high that I've always been trying to get past that bar because the goalposts were moved for me. So when my business failed and I had to start from scratch, I was in that gap of trying to catch up to where I'd been before. And now I've sort of caught up pretty much. But the goalposts have moved again because the people around me have progressed further and my ambitions and desires have also progressed further. And I, I don't know, I don't know what my point is with this, but maybe there's like two key things that the first thing is the goal posts are always going to move. So I think if you're a genuinely ambitious person, like, regardless of where you get to, if you're making progress yourself, like I am. Like even just looking back two years ago on the first doc videos we were doing, like, I don't know, we just launched the brand. I did like 60 grand in a month or something, and I was pretty gassed because it was a new brand and I was like, proof of concept. But now the goal posts have moved a lot. So now I'm comparing myself to the American brand. So we're doing 100 million a year, and I'm, you know, tiny in comparison to that, but then also more like, more powerfully, I'm comparing myself to people I know and I'm mates with that are doing, you know, a lot more than me in scale. Granted, different markets, it's not like a direct comparison, but it does get under your skin. So, yeah, first point. I feel like the goalposts are always moving and, like, how do you deal with that? To make sure it's. To make sure it gives you that internal drive at all times, but also so it doesn't take away, like, smelling the roses and enjoying the process and acknowledging where you've got to. Because I feel like I tend to lean a bit too far towards the, like, driven by negativity. Always wanted to prove myself wanting to get to the next level, but never stopping to smell the roses. Like, It's May already 2024. Where's this year gone? We're a third over a third in. And, yeah, I just think, where's the line with that? It's a difficult one, especially if you're, like, wired that way, which most well, probably all founders are. And a lot of people that watch this, you know, you always want the next thing. You want to progress. I think progression is the key word. So how would you deal with that? But then the other thing is comparison. So comparison is the thief of joy. And it definitely is that social media, comparing yourself to other people's numbers. But I suppose, yeah, like, how do you leverage that? How do you make use of that? How do you look at it productively? Because I go down this dark hole of like, oh, he's doing better than me. Like, I start almost doubting I. Am I in the right space? Am I doing the right thing? Maybe I'm just not as good as I thought I was in the past. Maybe I'm needed to go and start an agency or some shit. Not that I'd ever do that, but that's where my mind goes. I go down this kind of negative rabbit hole. Like, I thought I was doing well, but actually I'm not because he's doing a lot better and it seems easier for him and that niche looks more fruitful than mine. Or Yeah, I guess the positive way to look at it would be, well, that's great for them. Don't compare myself because we're in a different space, you know, there's enough fruit for everybody. Like another guy that I probably have compared myself to and I don't know if he watches this, but we DM the other day and he said, I've got exactly what he said, but it was pretty good. It stuck with me. He said it stuck with me, but I can't remember. It was like, we've all got the same destination in this game ultimately long term. And it's a game of finishing is a win, not getting there first. So, like, I'm always in a rush thinking, oh, he's getting there. Whatever there is like X amount of money, you know, ex liquidity, this exit, whatever it is, he's getting there quicker than me, so therefore I've lost. When actually it's like everyone's on their own path. So it's impossible to compare because there'll always be someone doing better than you that they just always will, especially if you're in these circles. And it's a good thing that I know a lot of people that are doing really well and doing cool shit because it's very inspirational. Like, they're all successful, ambitious, legit guys. It's better that than, you know, all my mates just go to the pub five times a week and do nothing with their lives. But I guess in that scenario I'd probably feel better about myself temporarily because I'd be the one that's doing stuff. So, yeah, it's a balance between trying to draw the positives from having an elite group of friends, I guess, but also not. And this is what I tend to do, not getting. So, like, am I just retarded because I'm not at the same level of some of them at a certain time? So, yeah, comparison perspective. Yeah, it's a big driver, but it can also really with your head if you, if you overthink it. And, you know, I'm not sure what the solution is because, like, one solution would be, well, don't speak to anyone, cut yourself off, stay in your own lane. But that's not good either because you can learn a lot from people that are ahead of you and people that know that you don't. And there's always people that know that you don't. Like I'm like autistic to the level where I went for. I went for dinner with another guy. I wasn't thinking of him previously, but he's another guy that's, you know, well ahead of me and actually quite a similar niche. A guy that a lot of people here probably know on Twitter. I won't say the name, but I'm the sort of autistic, where I was literally had my phone out taking notes because we're talking about a specific topic that he was really clued up on and I'm not. And I was like, I don't care. I'm fucking shameless because I want to learn. I genuinely feel retarded compared to a lot of these people. That's probably the right attitude, but it's also actually how I feel. So, yeah, I just want to fucking learn from people ahead of me, even if they're younger than me, even if their brands younger than mine, which in this case it actually was. So, like, my egos are, fuck, you know, this guy, this is pissing me off. He's doing better than me. Like, actually, the right way to look at it is how can I learn from them? How can I apply it to my own thing and don't have negative comparison, but just say, well, it be inspired by the fact that if they're doing that well, then actually I could go to the next level. So I think that's the right way to look at it, is acknowledge that you're never going to be moving at the same pace as everyone. It's impossible. There's plenty of people that probably look at my brand doing a similar space and like, ah, how has he done that? How has he got into retail? How has he scaled to XYZ in that market? But then there's always going to be people that are ahead of you as well, unless you're literally number one in the world, which is probably unlikely for, well, for a lot of people, even though that is the ambition. So, yeah, anyway, that's kind of thoughts for today. I'm trying to reframe and have a better perspective on things and that was just something I was thinking about recently. So it's probably a big thing in these circles and relevant to a lot of people and I definitely struggle with dealing with it in a productive way. So, yeah, there we go. Subscribe to the pod. I'm going to be doing these more often. Don't know if I'm out of shot now. This is a conversation pit. It's pretty cool. Yeah. Cheers for watching. Catch you in the next episode. Peace, Sa.