I've Had a Very Important Realisation About The Last Few Years... Doc The Journey Ep 63

Yo. Back with another episode of Doc the Journey. I'm in the car again, which seems to be the theme. I'm actually with my dog, we're driving south for the night. I'm probably gonna get in trouble because I'm not sure he's meant to be in the front, but I'll edit that out if anyone says about a trim which because this is front facing camera, I'm judging on myself again. But basically, yeah, I mean, what's this video about? I feel like I've had a big real which seems so fucking obvious and crazy that I'm only really thinking about this now. It's a difficult one to swallow. I feel like I've realized this is relevant to life and business and everything. But it's like a. Make sure I don't miss this ending. It's like an overarching belief system thing which I've. Which I'm going to change about myself. I don't feel like I've just been enjoying things the last two years in particular, a lot of it. And I've built this fucking toxic mindset. And I spoke about this on a video I think, in fact I did nearly a year ago in Dubai. If anyone watch, watch that shit when it was like me at a desk at night, I built it. Basically I've got in my head that if I'm enjoying myself, I'm not working towards building the future and business I want. And it's a mad toxic belie. And I've been sacrificing my physical and mental health, I think as a result due to that belief, thinking that I can't scale the team, can't scale the business unless I'm locked at my desk all day in a place that I don't like, with no sunlight, not training as much as I would like. Was actually thinking back over the interesting few years I've had in my 20s, since I became a full time founder, the best I've ever felt was when I was living in certain environments with certain people, living a very healthy lifestyle. For example, A few things come to mind like when I first went to Bali in 2018, most gas I've ever felt. And it was the environment, not just the fact it was sunny, but the environment. I was didn't drink for like four months, cold, plunged every day, fucking worked out, wasn't in the best shape ever at the time. But I was around a lot of people, very social environment, very varied environment and I actually did some of my best work ever back then starting some of my earlier brands and then another time that comes to mind and I don't know if I'm just rose tinted, but it's definitely stuck in my head, so it's probably a valid point. Was Marbella 2022, when I was in the best shape of my life? Looking back at pictures earlier, and I was absolutely diced, tanned, all the boys got a villa. Yeah, it was a bit of a send. We did a bit of work. But I guess the point is, when I've consciously structured my environment and the people around me to prioritize my health mentally and physically, I've tended to felt the best and therefore had the best ideas, moved the needle the most with life and business decisions and generally things have just been better. Yet when I've gone through periods of thinking, I don't know where this comes from. It's like almost now we're coming into spring. I've had this mad realization. I'm not religious person, but I'm starting to feel like something. There's like a force telling me that there's got to change and I've got to make changes to make sure I don't keep feeling this way and actually make changes to get back to that. That sort of flow state of life where I felt in the best headspace, done my best work, had my best ideas. At the end of the day, this whole. And I'm rambling on this, it's probably going to sound bullshit, but just documenting the process and especially off the back of that previous video when I was in a bit of a bad headspace, people can probably tell if they watched it. Yeah, this mindset makes no sense. Thinking I have to feel, almost feel bad to be working hard and working towards where I want to be. Whereas actually, if I feel good, I do my best work. If I do my best work, the business performs the best. It's always been the case. And just because something might be out of convention, like, I don't know, living in Bali, say, or Marbella or somewhere else, doesn't mean you can't still move the needle. And I've got into my head over the past two years in particular, because I thought about leaving London two years ago and I felt a similar urge back then, but I thought I had to spend two more years in a place that didn't necessarily make me particularly happy, didn't feel like I was doing my best work there because it was like my grind mode space, especially during winter. And, yeah, it's just toxic and it's bullshit. Just making sure I don't miss the turning. So basically, I'm just saying on camera, I'm just fucking committing to prioritising my physical and mental health and environment to put me in my best state, however you want to describe it. Because when I'm in my best state, I have better ideas, I'm more confident, I'm more outgoing, I'm a better networker, I'm a better boss for my team, I guess, because I'm in a better space. And it raises the state for everyone. And it's evident people can see that and they can see the opposite, which I felt like recently when it isn't the case, and all that just leads to better work, which makes the original point redundant. And if I think I can't enjoy myself because the only way to be successful is to not enjoy myself, which is this weird fucking thing I've got in my head somehow. Yeah, it just doesn't make sense is what I'm saying. So just, I really need to prioritize my physical and mental health because everything else follows and I just haven't been doing that in the past six months. In particular. It's been a long winter. Stressful in many ways. A lot has happened. A lot of progress has been made, for sure, but a lot of lessons, a lot of things I wouldn't do again. A lot of stupid mistakes that I've learned from. I mean, it's always going to be that way, but in the past, I'm gonna say two weeks in particular, I feel like I've just had a fucking awakening where it's like life is short. I've spent. I feel like I might have spent the last two years living somewhere I shouldn't have done and as a result, maybe missed out on. I can start sounding spiritual, but just like better vibes and better work and a just better version of myself because I just don't feel like I've been that in the past two years. Particularly the past year, actually, probably more so. But I definitely can get back to that, I don't know, like, true version of myself. I'm in a Tesla. I can raise my hands up. Yeah, basically. In summary, to be honest, I just feel like I've been living a bit of a lie the past few years. I'm not saying I'm not interested in the business, by the way. It's the exact opposite of that. Like, I get. When I got inspired about doing mushroom stuff, I was in a better headspace. I did my best work when I'm in. I started the podcast when I went Through a phase of feeling good because things were on the up. I've made some decisions. I'd cut some bullshit out of my life, including my ex girlfriend and shit at the time. So yeah, I just feel like I've not been listening to my intuition in the past year, in particular on lifestyle personal preference that will enable me to do better work and build a better business. So that's just a big reflection I've had and I think it's relevant to this series because people have probably seen. I don't know how I see it myself. Looking back, I look back at videos I made in Marbella and this is why the YouTube is interesting. And I look and sound and feel like thinking back to how I felt, I feel like a different person to how I felt, say a few days ago in that video, the one I did, the most recent video in my car, when I just felt in a pretty shit space, to be honest. Today I feel more productive. So yeah, I'm terrible at defining things in a short space of time, but the point is like, I don't know why it's taken me so long to come back full circle to where this whole entrepreneurship thing started for me, which was putting myself in environments to prioritize my physical and mental health and happiness and energy so I can think clearly and be the best version of myself. And I just haven't been that, particularly in the past year. And I definitely think it's negatively affected the business as a result. Ironically, even though we've made a lot of progress, I think we could have made more progress if I was in a better space. And fuck, I've just missed my turning. So yeah, take this video as a benchmark. I want to change that going forward. It's probably not going to be instant fuck's sake, but yeah, it's like there's one fucking Life, right? I'm 28 now, which is crazy to me. I've had some great experiences, some very bad experiences, a lot more in between which I've probably forgotten about like most people. But there's no point doing any of this if you don't feel good about the process. And I've been chasing an outcome, thinking that's the other point. I've been thinking I can't enjoy the process because I've got to get to the outcome. Like this kind of toxic hustle mentality. But it's just bullshit because for me, it's not for everyone. When I feel my best, I do my best work. And it's not. I'm driven by negativity in a lot of ways but to bring out the best of me and the person I want to be going forward I just need to think about that a bit more Prioritise my physical mental health get in sick shape again yeah bring out the best in me because it just hasn't been there recently and it's because of this foundational bullshit belief of I can't enjoy the process but it's just I'm like annoyed at myself I'm not gonna miss a turning again that I've not realized this before I haven't pulled myself out and held myself to account on it but from today I'm gonna and it wouldn't be a Documenting the Journey episode or series at all if I didn't track the good and bad so that's the topic of this video. I don't know if anyone can relate but yeah I'm gonna miss my turning again so thanks for watching. Subscribe to the podcast Cheers for watching. Peace.